Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers - JORMA TACCONE Wanted to Ride in a Limousine

Episode Date: April 11, 2024

Seth and Josh welcome another member from The Lonely Island to the podcast this week…it’s Jorma Taccone! Jorma tells them about growing up in Northern California, the neighborhood thief, his most disappointing family vacation, his most memorable prank calls, and so much more! Sponsors: AirbnbSupport comes from Airbnb your home might be worth more than you think find out how much more at airbnb.com/host to learn about hosting.

Hi, Pashi. Hi, Sufi. I have one last thing to talk about in regards to my spring break trip. Oh, boy. You're really stretching spring break out. Well, it's a piece of it I haven't addressed yet. And I guess in defense of the show and the way I usually get pretty crabby, this is a family vacation that you took.

I can't believe you're giving me grief for talking about a family trip. The next thing, if you were like, come on, man. You got to have some memories of SNL from 04. No, that ain't happening. So anyway, flight home. First of all, flight there, flight home. Alexi's such a hero. She really believes, and it was a five-hour flight.

She really believes the kids can do activities the whole flight. She gets them modeling clay. She gets some sticker books. She gets some mazes. There's three different kinds of crayons. It's incredible what she does. With that said, kids just burn through that shit. Yeah. I mean, the kids wanted the clay out before we took off. And again, we're leaving from a New York airport. We were like 15th in line to take off. By the time we took off. And, you know, again, we're leaving from a New York airport. We were like 15th in line to take off. By the time we're in the air, the modeling clay is dried. It's like rock hard.

So eventually about two hours in, we allow them to switch over to watching movies. Uh-huh. You know, again, and they get very excited. Sure. About watching a movie on the back of a seat on a plane, right? They all have their own headphones, I'm guessing? They all have their own headphones. Another thing we're doing a lot of is we're loading up old phones of mine that are now defunct with books on tape. And so the kids are actually, the boys at least, will listen to Harry Potter and enjoy.

That's great. will listen to Harry Potter and enjoy. That's great. Also, Ash is only allowed to watch the Harry Potter movie after he has read the book, or had it read to him, in this case. Right. Yeah, I was going to throw some quotes around, read the book.

Yeah. I saw in your eyes some quotes were coming, so I thought I'd jump in front of that one. Flight home, Posh. Here's what happens on the flight home. I got Addie on one side of me. I got Ash on the other. Dude in front of that one. Flight home, Posh. Here's what happens in the flight home. I got Addy on one side of me. I got Ash on the other. Dude in front of me.

It's like a three and three, right? So I'm looking sort of kitty corner. Guy who's technically in front of Ash. You know what he's watching in the back of his seat? I don't even know why I'm making you guess. Raiders of the Lost Ark. Ooh. Now, I'm watching it, again,

not the right way to watch Raiders. One seat up with the sound off is not the way to watch Raiders, but it's so good, I'm like,

you know what? I'm gonna watch Raiders. And Ash, because Ash is watching something and Addie's sort of just looking at the map. You know, she's too young.

She doesn't know that that's not a movie. So she's just looking at it. She must love that part in Raiders where it's just the map. Oh, right. You're right. There's a lot of that in Raiders. Yeah.

And I watched Raiders of the Lost Ark on the plane in Man O' Man. That movie holds up. It's so good. So good. It's so good. But then a few times, you know, there's some gnarly moments in Raiders. And I look over and Ash, who again is watching his own movie, is just eyes locked in on Raiders. Just locked in on maybe some of the gnarliest moments of Raiders.

And you know what? I made a decision to just look at him and give him a nod like, yeah. Yeah. This is in your future, bud. Yeah. Movies like this are in your future. Yeah. I remember when we were little, little, when we were living in Michigan, we had a babysitter, Joe.

Do you remember Joe? Yeah. But I remember he was watching Deer Hunter. Yes. And it was like just on TV. But if we were living in Michigan, I was five or under. And I remember seeing some Deer Hunter stuff i def shouldn't have seen and def didn't want to see at that time yeah that that russian roulette scene in deer hunter yeah i'm remembering

now i've definitely first saw with a babysitter yeah it's funny because i think you know there's a lot about how hard it is to be a modern kid you know but like the fact that we had babysitters did we just come over and be like, let's see what's on. Yeah, and also they had like, there's three things on. Yeah. I'm going to watch the coolest one of them. Also, right, at eight o'clock at night, none of the three things were kid-friendly.

Yeah. It wasn't like, go order the old Netflix account. Do you, back to Harry Potter real quick, now that Ash is listening to professional audiobook readers of Harry Potter, is he less impressed with your reading? Thank you for asking. I think he's still impressed. I think I'm not going quite fast

enough for him anymore. I think the only downside of this back and forth, or trade-off, I should say, we've done with him, is now he's just charging through the books. I think he's staying up too late. We let him have it in bed, too.

I think he's just... I'm basing this on the fact that five times last week I went in and he had fallen asleep with his headphones on. So he's definitely just trying to grind through it so that he can hold up the phone. He came in very late the other night to be like, I just finished book five.

Can you download book six? I'm like, go to bed. Oh, wait. I think I told you this, but not on the podcast. We've talked about the fact that you had a moment that Ash just had.

You had a moment where you told everybody you were into Holstein cows and then for like three years, everybody bought you cow stuff and then you had to make basically announce that you'd made a mistake and you don't like cows so yeah Ash just had this with Legos he just you know had his eighth birthday he got so many Legos including from you you say Legos I know because I'm I've decided I don't care about people who don't like it that way Lego he got some got some Lego. Now you sound dumb. Yeah, right? If I didn't

have done it, the only way to do Lego is this way. You get it wrong, someone corrects you, and then you say it. Otherwise, people would hate me. I'm not going to be the guy who walks around and is like, Lego. You had a few of those, where you would do the foreign pronunciation of stuff. Did I? Yeah, I'll try to remember. I don't know, but I'll remember.

Anyhow, alright, so Ash getting too many Lego. Well, we told Aness, and I'm remembering, we had to tell you because you got him Lego. You got him a box of Lego. I found out when I was on a FaceTime with you three days after his birthday, and he drag asses into the kitchen, and he's like, thanks for my gift, Uncle Poshy.

Someone else is going to get me the same thing. Yeah, and then on top of it, which, by the way, that didn't happen. He didn't get the same thing yeah and then on top of it which by the way that didn't happen he didn't get the same thing but he did get so many harry potter lego that harry potter's lego he got so many of them and he had a real breakdown because it was that thing that happens to a kid they ask for a bunch of stuff in the time it takes for them to come he decides he doesn't like that stuff anymore and i went into the other room he was sitting in our little playroom tv room it's a t it's a room with a tv and we never watch tv so it's basically the kids playroom and he was just sitting with a big box of legos of legos bricks He had a big box of Lego in his lap

and he just was staring at this beautiful box of Harry Potter Lego. And I just heard him saying, who likes Lego? Not me. To himself. Do you think, I went to a kid's second birthday.

You knew the parents? No. Yeah. And there were a bunch of people going to this party. And I know, you know, this little girl, she's got plenty of toys. And you feel like you need to bring a gift. But at the same time, I was like, do you? And I feel like I need to buy something

you know for my nephews and niece and certainly our uncles would have done that but where's all this stuff go? like

I mean trust me how many Lego sets did he get? I think part of the problem is everyone feels like oh we need to buy him something yeah we're backlogged that kid doesn't need anything

by the way did our uncles get us presents? Uncle Kurt would show up with stuff. In my head right now, I know what Uncle Kurt showed up with for our birthdays. Scratch tickets? Like 10 scratch tickets he got from the liquor store he worked at. Maybe a thing of pretzels.

I mean, it's all pretty good. Yeah, as a thing of pretzels. I mean, it's all pretty good. Yeah, as I think about it. It's all pretty exciting. It's also probably better than a box of Legos for mom and dad

because everything was immediately garbage. It didn't just like build up. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe that's the move. Yeah. Scratchers.

Yeah. Talking about reading slow, we have a snail population at our, at my building in LA. Oh, okay. And when it rains a little bit, these snails will come out. And it's very exciting.

Mackenzie and I really like the snails. Oh, that's good. I was wondering if... Well, the very fact that you called it a population instead of an infestation was pro-snail. No, it's just like there's just like a couple come out when it rains. Okay, gotcha. And there's like these little drains. And Mackenzie the other day sent me a video or a picture of this like snail trail and the snail had ended up just on top of this drain. But in that day, it was very sunny and everything dried up. And I walked past this drain and the snail was just on dead center on the drain. And I was like, oh, this dude didn't make it. He couldn't get away

and it got too hot out here. And Mackenzie gets sad if she sees a crushed snail. If I ever step on a snail, I feel terrible. So this snail was on this grate and I took some water down and I poured it on him and he wasn't moving. And I was like, it's not going to happen for this guy. And then later on, I went down and he had moved, but it was still hot out and he was running out of water. So I got him some more water and I got this little like, it's like a knife, but it's like a thing that you move chopped vegetables from the cutting board into the pan. It's like this big flat thing.

And I laid that down, put a a little some little celery greens on it and he crept up on there and i moved him to a new place but the whole procedure took a long time i was gonna say i think the difference between me having three kids and you having none is i wouldn't have gone and checked on the fucking snail but i walked walked by the snail. When I'd taken the dogs outside, I walked by the snail. And I'm like, I'm just either watching this thing die or I'm going to save this thing. And then it happened again the other day. And I'll just bring a book out there now,

and I have to wait for the snail to climb up on this. Now, wait a second. If it happened again, isn't there a chance the snail's like, oh, finally made it back? Jeez Louise. I think it's got to be a different snail because I walked that first snail a long way away from where he ended up. Interesting.

Okay. Yeah. So multiple, this is happening to multiple. Well, I do think, I don't know if we should just keep doing updates on this podcast about that or start a second one with just the snail cast. You're a good man. And I know snails can be invasive,

and people aren't always psyched to see snails showing up. I am. I mean, I think, look, some people aren't psyched, and some people are, like you and Mackenzie, totally insane. Honey, honey, come outside. The snails are back. aren't psyched and some people are like you and Mackenzie and totally insane honey honey come outside the snails are back the snails

yeah it's very exciting Debbie our dog she always loves the snails she's we'll always give it a little sniff move on

great they're our friends yeah alright well for those of you who are still with us we have our our friend Yorma Ticone is joining us All right, well, for those of you who are still with us, we have our friend Yoramit Tocconi is joining us,

and it's a lovely conversation. He has an incredible, his upbringing is fantastic and a really good story coming your way. But first, Jeff Tweedy. Family trips with the Myers brothers. Family trips with the Myers brothers. Here we go. Oh, yeah. Whoa.

Wow. There he is. That deep. You. There he is. That deep. You got those deep pipes. He does have deeper pipes than he appears when you first meet him. Yeah. Yeah, for such a short guy. All right, you said it, not me.

I am a short guy. You know what pops into my head every time I see your full name printed? What is it? That I put myself in quotes? No, no, no. I just think, do you like your Montalcone? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I don't know why, but that's always been the way it works for me. I don't even know what that's a reference to. The Pina Colada song. Oh, I see.

Okay. Oh, the minute I do a parody song, Josh is in the woods. You know what's really funny is that recently, because I've had this experience too, but having my brother say it was somehow more insulting. But he was like, recently,

he was like, yeah, sometimes I just think about your name and I just laugh. I'm like, what? But it is such a weird name. Whenever I've met anybody who has a similar like, Yohas, or just any Yuff sounding name, I'm like, that's a bizarre like, Yohaz, or just any Yuff-sounding name. Yeah, a J up front.

I will say, Yorma Takoni is a fantastic name. Also, it's interesting that Asa would take that position, because I feel like that is in the same ballpark of name. But it's like Old Testament biblical, right?

I would just say both of you, his name is A-S-A. Yeah. You're J-O-R-M-A. Both of them, I feel like you have to tell people how to pronounce it. Yes, because Asa is somehow... Yes. Did I tell you the funniest one I ever got? What was the best?

And it was also funny because they weren't trying to be insulting. But the guy was like, I'm sorry, urine? I was like, urine? No, no, my parents didn't name me urine. But you're named after some, like, a kick-ass guitar player, yeah? Yeah, George Michael Conan from the Jefferson Airplane. And I met him, and I did tell him. Because I feel like when your parents name you after a kick-ass guitarist, Jefferson Airplane and like hot tits. And I met him and I did tell him. Because this should be,

because I feel like when you're named, when your parents name you after a kick-ass guitarist, there's two paths. One, your dad just loves a band, but this is the better version. Your dad knew him. He was a friend. No, no, no, no, no, no.

My dad just loved the band. Oh God, I thought they were friends. Oh, so it's the worst version. I met him because I went and saw him at McCabe's Guitar Store in Picoville. Great. So your dad was just like, this guy shreds. Yeah, 100%. I don't even know if he liked the name. I think he was just like, yeah, shred.

That's cool. He was like, we're naming him. He didn't know the name first. He said to your mom mom whoever this guy is that's what the boy's name is gonna be he's got it I got bad news

he's got it it's bad news it's urine and she's like I don't think you say it that way and he's like oh okay better

getting better yeah I think he saw him at Woodstock or something I don't know was Asa's name just the straight biblical or was it

no there was a guy named who we just always referred to as Big Asa's name just straight biblical? No, there was a guy named, who we just always referred to as Big Asa in Berkeley, who was a family friend kind of. And so he was, I think he was 11 or something. He was a couple of years older than me. And actually Big Asa sold me my first car too, which was a 1977 Plymouth Velare

that he described as Doja Green inside and out, which is a very Bay Area term for weed. Oh, Doja. So you bought a weed green Velare? Yeah, it was pretty cool. Had dents running down the sides. I mean, so

Jorma is from the Bay Area, and along with Andy Sandberg and Akiva Schaffer, and every detail I ever hear about growing up in the Bay Area makes me happier and also is illustrative of the way you guys all turned out. This story that I'm going to tell you guys is very, very Bay Area, too.

Like, very Bay Area. Like, I was thinking about- So you're basically, you kind of are, you've taken a different approach. I feel like you're showing up with one trip that you want to talk about. There's one trip that is a long, it has different facets.

And we can talk about family trips in general, but we didn't take a lot of them growing up. So we can talk about whatever you guys want. I'm perfectly fine. This is a very Bay parent, like my parents and like parents and like both me and my brother were talking about this. We were just like, oh, my God. All right. So I'm going to let Josh is going to maybe lay down some tracks before we get to your one massive trip.

Great. Yeah. Well, I mean, just sort of set the scene. Your brother's how much younger than you? My brother's four and a half years younger than me. Okay. Were you psyched? That's old enough to know if you're psyched you're having a younger brother were you psyched that another one was coming in a very bay area way i was at my brother's birth which was at home there's a picture of me and my my best friend ari like just like mccully

calkin just like watching it happen like Like, oh God, what is this? And then my parents saved his placenta in our refrigerator. So it was in our freezer for like a year because they forgot about it. So whenever I would try to go get ice cream or anything, I'd look up there and be like, well, that piece of meat there is for mom. What was the goal of keeping it? What was sort of the end game if it hadn't just been forgotten after a year? I think that their intention was that they were going to eat it.

Yeah. That was my fear about freezer was definitely. And then like some freezer burn. You're like, maybe we won't. You have to wait for July 4th or whatever. They're waiting for it but yeah they just yeah freeze the burn and then they planted it under a tree yeah my alexi has become more bay area with each successive birth of our children because the third addy was a home

birth wait which one was in the lobby with because that's the boy yeah the second one was in the lobby which was she was she was trying to have a New York birth. And then her women parts were like, no, we are of the Bay. I mean, that's the coolest home birth story ever. I feel like we maybe saved the first placenta and had the same situation of like, there's no, in the end, we're not going to actually do anything with it. But what I was getting at was the kids, the home birth happened at night or else. I bet the boys would have been, I don't know. I don't know if they would have watched or not, but I think they would

have been nearby. What time did it happen? Like 11 o'clock at night. It was the best because they went to bed. It was very much Shoemaker's Elves. They went to bed and woke up and somebody else had made a baby that was just there. I honestly thought you were talking about Michael Shoemaker for a second. That's the problem with having a

Shoemaker. Having a real Shoemaker in my life named Michael? And your parents are both very creative people professionally, yeah? Yes. My dad is an artistic director of theater. He's a theater director. And my mom was a graphic designer for many, many years and is now sort of retired. She's retired.

But he attempted to retire and hasn't. Gotcha. And they've managed to make this work with normal names like Troy and Sue Ellen. What's funny is that my wife is named Marielle and then we named our kid... I wanted to name our son Wiley and then name our last child Bob.

Because I just wanted everyone to have a weird name. It's a good one. We would have lost our size. Bob Taccone is definitely a guy like a used car place on Long Island. It probably exists. Yeah. He sells rolls of quarters. I got a 20 and I just need to go see Bob Tacone.

Yeah. So yeah, tell us about this trip. What's a creative Bay Area family? Well, before, yeah. So before you tell us about the trip,'s a creative bay area family before yeah so before you tell us about the trip what were what was like sort of a baseline trip well i did research you know which i think most people do because you're like oh do i am i remembering these not everyone does it you are and let me say we appreciate okay some people some people do so little research

that about five minutes in they say oh so it's a it's about family really that's so you're massively massively ahead of those people are doing better than me i think the better you're doing in your career the less research you do you do the podcast you're about to appear on they're not doing better in larry meyer's eyes i'll tell you that yeah that's true my dad is very down on people who don't do the work. Yes. Well, honestly, like I was trying to remember the trips beyond going to visit grandparents because most of our trips financially growing up, we were not doing well at all. So then I grew up in Berkeley. As you said, we lived in a pretty crappy neighborhood in Berkeley. So we got robbed a lot. And which was really funny because we didn't have it. We had nothing to rob. And there's some really good stories there, but this isn't about that.

Well, I do want to take a pause because it's almost too interesting to just pass over. When you got robbed, were you always away from home when you got robbed? No, there's a couple stories where I remember someone trying to break in through the one window that didn't have the electrical alarm tape with this crazy alarm. It was like a school bell alarm. So it was the loudest thing you've ever heard. But if you broke a window and it had the gray tape, then it would shatter the tape and then it would trigger this alarm. And the one window that only had iron bars on it was being broken into so i remember seeing a guy trying to get into the to the and then the one of

the funnier times when we were robbed we were robbed by our our neighbors by the way it speaks to how many times you get robbed if you have a funny one there's a couple funny ones there's a couple of funny ones. There's a couple of funny ones. This one was that they used our own wheelbarrow to steal an amplifier and all this old school stereo equipment that we had. But they covered up, it seemed like they had covered up the stereo equipment in the wheelbarrow with diapers. And so there was a trail of diapers leading to our neighbor's house. That was a funny one. And then another one was

we did take a trip, a family trip, and we came back and the alarm had been going off for like 12 hours. So all of the people in the neighborhood, nobody cared that we got robbed at that point. Everyone was just like,

turn off the fucking alarm. The fire department had tried to be there. Nobody could turn it off. Now, what is the order of things? Because if the neighbors stole your stereo equipment second, I feel like they're now, it's a justifiable theft.

If they had to go through 12 hours of the school bell alarm. Yeah, that's true. You mean like if it had been going off and then they were like, you know what? It's already going off.

Yeah, just steal shit. I think that's fair. I hope, yeah. I do hope. Did you ever, I mean, I'm assuming you confront the neighbors when you realize they've left a diaper trail? There was another moment that I was telling my dad about this because I don't think he had ever heard this story.

I mean, it's sad. We were living in a pretty crappy area. But no, there was a moment that I was walking to the corner store to get... I was really obsessed with now and laters. And I was walking to get now and laters at the corner store and our neighbor... This isn't that funny because I'm like seven or whatever, however old I was.

But our neighbor threatened to kill me with a kitchen knife. And the thing I remember most about it was that I think it was our kitchen knife. It was a serrated kitchen knife that I was like, oh, I think that's our knife. That's what I remember about it. I just sort of walked around him into the street and walked to the corner of the store.

Was this your next door neighbor? No, we didn't confront anyone. It is funny. I like that in your seven-year-old it's like, I'm going to kill you. It's like,

well, I'm afraid the tables are turned because you've just revealed yourself to be a thief. A thief. I'm afraid your attempted murder

will have to take the back seat. Because you're in trouble, mister. You Columbo'd your own assailant. No, there was a lot of that growing up. It was just like a... And the weirder part

was we had... I never experienced this before anywhere, but there was a mobile police station on our block. They had a bus that they parked there on our block because it was so bad growing up. It's no longer like this.

Yeah, it was pretty intense. So regardless, we didn't take that many family trips because we just didn't have that much money. It seems like when you leave, people take your things and your neighbors hate you. Then you need to buy more things. So any money you have goes back into

replacing televisions, amplifiers, kitchen knives, etc. It was an exponential cost for you to go on vacation. The least of it was how expensive the vacation was. Yeah. We just left our doors open. Where did your grandparents live? Were they close by? Yeah, my grandmother lived

in Stanford, Connecticut, so that we would go out to the East Coast a lot. And I remember those were great trips because we obviously got pampered because my grandmother didn't get to see us as much. And then also my other grandparents lived in Irving, Texas. So very hot. But I loved visiting them. So we did that a lot. And then we went camping and things like that.

But we didn't have that many trips overall. But those were my big memories. What were the activities of note when you went to your grandparents, like the Connecticut or the Texas? My grandmother in Connecticut, she's a very feisty Puerto Rican woman who she taught Spanish for years, but she was like, had more energy. I think you, Seth, you must've met her at some point. Yeah, yeah. Was she at the wedding? Yes, yeah, absolutely.

And then, I'm sure she came to the show. But yeah, she had so much fucking energy. And so she would wake us up at like six in the morning singing Spanish. Like, Get up! Get up! We gotta go play tennis!

It was like, ah. And I was always play tennis. And I was like, oh. And I was always obsessed with vacation. I was like, this is vacation. Just the word vacation was so frustrating. It's not, you don't get up at six to play tennis. But yeah, she was just obsessed. Yeah, ball of fire. That's great.

It is funny. I feel like it's dawning on my kids now that they can use the idea of vacation as a way to have the same complaints they always have. You know, they always want ice cream, and then all of a sudden we're on vacation. It's vacation! Shut up. You always want this.

It's a good argument. I always like when your kids have pretty good arguments. And my kid now is starting to really notice. If it's educational, he's like using educational now. It's educational, but I'll learn. Oh, yeah. And that's why you need this Pokemon pack?

How old's your son now? He's nine. All right. Yeah, figuring it out. And in Texas with those grandparents, was it like were you in a city? Were they out in the countryside? No, Irving, it's like really suburban, like a lot of track housing, a lot of cul-de-sacs.

It was always so hot. I just remember like as a kid, like being really excited to use the, you know, like the first time when you get a hose and it's the hose with like the nozzle and you're like, I'm a fireman! And I'm very excited about being a fireman. So Texas to me was the place

where I got to shoot the house with a hose. Yeah, because you thought maybe it was going to catch on fire with how hot it was. It's possible nowadays, yeah. It's so nice to hear you actually dial into that memory. Because, of course, I remember the first time you did it. And I feel like I forget when my kids are doing it that there's just no way to get through to them.

Because this summer, they were just blasting our house with a hose. And I was like, stop it! And I was telling them to stop. And they physically couldn't stop it. Worth it. Also, because you're feeling like the kick of the hose has power in the way that you've seen a firefighter. Like, whoa, this thing.

And they were just like, they were spraying different surfaces. They're like, I'm going to shoot wood. I'm going to shoot glass. Then it's like, I'm just going to blast it into the ground until it turns into mud. So I got one of those power washers because I was recently to clean the deck. And this is really fun because you can, I got one of those power washers because I was recently to clean the deck.

And this is really fun because you can – this is not a good idea for just saying this out loud in public, but I was shooting my kid with the power washer. And it has so much water. You're like, you're in daily secrets. He loved it. I like any activity that's like a parent activity, but you're having a pretty good time. Yeah.

Yes. When our father used to be in charge of baths with us, he sort of took a much heavier-handed approach, and he would just have like a bucket. And he would call us Dirtball No. 1 and No. 2. And he would just pour the bucket over our heads, and you'd just get like deluged. And then he'd like scrub shampooed and then he'd like scrub shampoo

and then he'd go like dirt ball number one and he'd like pound you with a bucket and it was like it was efficient and it was aggressive and it was fun oh my god i'm sure he was having a great time yeah you 100 knew when it was the times he gave you a bath like how it was gonna go i so i last this was last night. There was a bunch of kids who came over after they were doing their little Pokemon thing. And they all got Nerf guns and were like, come outside, be the dad, we need a dad. Because they just only abused death.

And so I was like, well, if I'm doing this, I'm really doing it. So I got this leaf blower. I got this huge leaf blower and an umbrella and just walked outside, clicked the umbrella. So that's my shield. And I'm just shooting kids

with this leaf blower for like half an hour. God, that's good times. I'm going to steal that. I think both of those are... Yeah, solid. I think watching a dad come outside with an umbrella

and a leaf blower is as exciting as seeing Bane in Batman for the first time. That was my goal. It's like, no! What a beautiful voice. And now we're going to take a quick break to hear from one of our sponsors. Support for Family Trips comes from Airbnb.

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You might make more than zero, which is what I'm doing. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.com slash host. Here we go. All right, so your big trip, the big famous trip. Yeah, okay. So because we didn't ever get to do anything

and like I was, again, obsessed with like the word vacation, like we're going to go on vacation, was the time that my, I was 12 years old. My brother.

So my, I was, I think I was like 12 and a half, 13. So I'm angsty too. Like, I'm just like, in addition to being obsessed with like,

this is my big vacation. We're going to Hawaii for like spend some money. Like, wow, we're going to Hawaii. And my brother's eight. So we, and we're going to visit my,

my godmother, who is a woman named Sandra, who sadly has passed away. But she married a native Hawaiian man. So we're going to go visit them on Kauai. So I'm so excited. And just to give you some context of how I've been disappointed in the past

by my parents, I remember we had this super shitty Volkswagen bug that every fender was a different color. It was super d Volkswagen bug that was like every fender was a different color it was super dented it was super embarrassed like that was our family car and I remember when I was in third grade I was obsessed with

as I ever could was Lamborghinis and limos was the other car that I was like you can drive a limo I just thought you could drive a limo and that was like the coolest car so as I'm running to like my dad picks me up I'm like did you bring a limo I don't know what I was thinking did you bring a limo and that was like the coolest car saying so as i'm running to like my dad picks me up i'm like did you did you bring a link i don't know what i was thinking did you bring a limo did you bring a limousine he was like yeah because he's a dad like like that's exactly what i would have said like yeah i brought a limo and then running outside to see this fucking

embarrassment like oh no no i hate this fucking car but this felt like this to me to me because again i'm 13 but we go so when we show up to my godmother's what i thought was a house she had been squatting on the shoes okay let me give some context also like my my parents are very political liberal minded like you know my mom worked for a socialist newspaper. And she meets Sandra. They're selling little red books together, which is Mao's, like, doctorate, whatever. Like, so, you know, they're communists.

It is for real. They are the stereotype of what every Republican thinks a normal Democrat is today. Yes, my parents are like... They were, no exaggeration what Jim Jordan thinks I am. My mom worked for a newspaper called Frontline, which is like

the front line of the proletariat will rise up again. It was all just Marxists, basically. But to be fair, they're also like... It's a lot of intellectuals. They're reading everything. They're not like hippie, silly 60s. It's all very political.

So my godmother is one of these people, and she married a native Hawaiian man named Michael. And so there was a lot of education on this trip. But we pull into this area that we're going to be staying, and they've been squatting on the beach, basically. There's no place. It's drift. I'm not exaggerating. It was like a sh on the beach, basically. There's no place. It's drift. I'm not exaggerating.

It was like a shantytown, basically. So it was probably 10 different shacks, kind of, but they're made out of like driftwood and tarps that they'd found from the sea in some cases. But it's weirder than that, though, because then they're furnished inside. There's no doors. There's just flaps with tarps.

And it's like an unhoused person's squatting area or something. But it's called Anahola Beach Park. But they have electricity. So there's refrigerators and stuff in there. And people have television. They're stealing electricity from the electrical poles and running them to get electricity. So there's electricity and there's an outdoor beach

because it was meant to be a public area. So there's an outdoor shower and stuff like that. The beach is beautiful. But for me, showing up to our Hawaiian vacation to be like, sorry, where are we staying? We're staying in this shack?

The best is the thinking. Thinking it was a limo was you being insane. But now the tables have turned. Yes. And then we're staying in this, from my remembrance, me and Asa stay in the shack. And then across the road, because let's back up politically, because this is all true it's like

you know hawaii was basically stolen by you know like lily okalani was a queen they had like 50 treaties with like every country in the world basically that like and then the united states came in and basically a policeman was shot and lily okalani just was like okay i don't want this to go to war and then all of hawaii was now american and so i don't want this to go to war. And then all of Hawaii was now American. And so I can't remember when they became a state or whatever. But there were laws made that were basically in trying to make things right, they were supposed to give land back to Native Hawaiians.

So that was sort of like Michael and a lot of people were like, we're waiting for our land, but none has been deeded to us. It takes a really long time to actually get that land. So in the interim, across the street from these shacks is this house that they've been building. And Sandra has taken all of her inheritance from her mom and put it into this house.

And they spent like $35,000. It was saying it was a house is a little weird. It was like a plywood house, basically. So none of it's been furnished or whatever, but they're working on it forever. And it does have electricity. So my parents stay in there, and then me and my brother stay on the, on the beach in this house. But like, there's, there's flying cockroaches.

And like, I mean, just, there was just for me, I was like, this is a nightmare. This is like, my brother had a great time. Like, in fact, like I, I have audio of my brother talking about this, which I can play real quick. Let me see if this works. It was like camping. My dad said it was a, quote, scene. And then I asked him to describe what he meant by that.

And he said it was just like, you know, I think they partied pretty hard. But it was really fun for me. I mean, I was eight. I was just in it. I befriended a local Hawaiian boy named Coco. I spent most of my days with him. And the mornings I would wake up, we'd go out on his makeshift canoe

and catch fish in the coral reef for my mom's friends so they could have for their breakfast. And we just hung out with all these local Hawaiian kids. We ended up going to like a luau for a celebration of a baby that was born in the community. And my mom used to be a sign painter. So she painted this big sign for them. And we went to a natural water slide,

which was these two massive rocks that were kind of edged together. And there was this slick moss in the middle. Okay, that's all true. This is the best definition of the ages 8 and 12. I think that's the best example of 8 and 12. Like 8 still sees the wonder in the world and like, I made a local friend.

Whereas you're like, where's my fucking limo? Kids are also younger too, so he had more options with hanging out with people. And we did. We had an amazing time. I was telling my dad, I was like, do you remember that beach? I was like, yeah.

We found that riptide and then me and my brother would duck our heads under and follow the riptide in and see how long our breath would last as you got pulled under. Jeez. That was like super. And then obviously the waterfall. I mean, it was super like amazingly beautiful.

But there's, you know, like there's a lot of like vets who were a part of this community. And like it was just like this. Yes. Again, I was just like, oh, what is this? Like, what are we doing? And then the thing that my brother mentioned there, the sign that was made, my mom painted this sign.

The reason that that sign was made was that there's a six-day trip. Four days into the trip, we wake up in the morning and about 30 police cars are pulling in. And they're federal agents. So all these federal agents get out and they start tacking up eviction notices everywhere. Like on everything.

Every structure, every car, on the house that my godmother had built. And so it becomes this huge, it's like you're going to get evicted. It's like two days after we're leaving, they're coming in and they're going to clear everybody out and evict everybody. And so again, for me, I was like, what is happening?

On this vacation. And so then my mom gets into like activist mode and she like paints this huge, they got this big piece of mode and she paints this huge, they got this big piece of plywood and she paints this beautiful mural to make it look more official when they come in. And then people start coming out of the woodworks. Like hippies from I don't know where

who are just activists show up and start making documentaries. Yeah. I imagine it's local news, maybe, covering something like this? A little bit. It's the government, so I don't know how much they wanted to be involved. I remember this woman named Smokey Rain

showed up with her boyfriend, and they were making a documentary. My mom makes this big, beautiful sign that they put in front to make it look more official. Then they did a big luau. The radio station came. They did have local... That is really funny.

And I do think that documentaries are incredible tools for societal change, but it is a really funny hippie thing when shit's going bad to be like, don't worry, we're going to come make a doc. We'll be there. You're like, we're going to come make a doc. We'll be there. You're like, we're getting evicted in two days. Smokey's,

Smokey's on the next plane over. Smokey rain's coming. Smokey rain. Don't worry. I think with editing, we might have it done in like 18, 19 months. Also,

what was the name of the sort of native Hawaiian guy that your godmother was married to? Michael. It got pretty, it got sort of cheated out of the cool name contest. It's like every time a kid in the Bay Area gets a Yorma, a guy in Hawaii has to get a Michael. Yeah.

I mean, we visited them since this all happened, and Michael was a big part of our family for a long time. He would drink a lot, though, and I remember one of the things, because we were all staying together, was that he would sort of pass out and he would snore. And then me and, it was so regular that me and my brother would like beatbox to it.

And we would go. I do picture that while Michael's snoring, the flaps on the shanty are like blowing out. That's when the cockroaches are getting in. Yes, disturbing the chickens that were running around. But then to complete that, like they got evicted. Like right after we left, everyone got evicted. Everything got torn down with bulldo got evicted everything got torn down

with bulldozers her house got torn out and then my godmother and like six other people were in jail for nine months after that jeez yeah yeah so so the documentary in the end maybe didn't help it didn't i don't think well you know what i'm they became known as like the anahola beach park seven or something so maybe it did you know what? They became known as like the Anahola Beach Park 7 or something. Oh, there you go. Maybe it did. And then she ran for mayor after that too. She ran for mayor of Kauai.

Was the plywood house that they were building, was that evicted as well? Or was that more legal? That got torn. That was the saddest because then we watched the documentary. It was only, by the way, it was only like a half an hour documentary. But seeing that was just like so, cause they got a quick claim deed, which I don't really understand the mechanics of that, but it's like, basically like you,

if you go down and you say like, wait, we're on this thing and we've been here for a while. And again, like he was on the list as a native Hawaiian man to, to be able to get this land. So he, he should have been able to get it. It just takes years to do. And apparently you can't just claim whatever land you want. And then eventually they were actually given a bunch of acres. And me and my wife, the first trip we went to, we visited them and it was great. Did you really? When you guys, before you were married?

Yeah, it was right when the Lonely Island started. Right after we graduated, I was already dating Mari, and Andy and Keith came down to LA, and I had already had this trip planned, so they were looking out, going to live for houses in LA. And I went to Hawaii and visited Sandra and Michael again. Did you make

multiple trips over your life, or was it just those two? Three times, I think. Yeah. I think it was three. Yeah. But the,

the first one was the most memorable. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like a couple of things from ACEs that I want to go back to the, um, natural waterfall.

Did you have a memory of that? Yeah, that was, it's amazing. Especially like, cause you are with local people who are like, Oh no, no, go to's amazing. Especially like, because you are with local people who are like, oh no,

no, go to this one. And it did take like forever to like hike into the, you know, I mean, and Kauai is stunningly beautiful. I mean,

it's like, it is Jurassic Park. Yeah. We used to go to, there was like a natural waterslide thing in New Hampshire called Diana's Baths that we would go to.

And it was freezing, but it was also these like very smooth rocks. It wasn't so mossy, it was just smooth rocks go to. And it was freezing, but it was also these very smooth rocks. It wasn't so mossy. It was just smooth rocks. Yeah, yeah. And so fun as a kid. And I remember going back maybe as a teenager or mid-20s, and then there were all these signs that say,

like, don't swim here. This is like drinking water or whatever. But I don't know if we were not allowed to be there when we were there sort of taking those rides, but you're definitely not allowed to now, or not supposed to at least. It's so cool. Like Hawaii has so many.

I actually went on vacation with me, Mari, Akiva, and Liz went to Hawaii and found another, I can't remember what island we were on, but we found another one of those deep woods. You had to like a mile, and then you hike forever. And then there's this huge open area of almost like this lake. And then you have to go through the lake and then up a rope ladder, up this waterfall. And then in the back, there's this amazing...

It was great. And it was really great to watch Akiva do that, too. That was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. This is real, this is a tangent, but you'll see where it got inspired from. We're talking about

swimming and drinking water. Was it during the pandemic that you started making weird nursery, like fables? Oh, Derek stories? Yeah,

Derek stories. It was during the pandemic, yes, yeah, it was. So Jorm reached out to me and said he was, yeah, you sent me a Derek story. You're like. Yes, yeah, it was. So, Yoram reached out to me and said he was, yeah, you sent me a Derek story.

You're like, hey, we listened to this. Anybody with kids, I was like, do your kids think this is funny? But Derek was sort of like an Aesop-y type dude, right? They're Aesop's Fables. These are on Spotify. It's on all streaming podcasts. They're like two-minute long stories.

They're basically Aesop's fables that get interrupted by a guy named Derek. And then changes the moral. And they're called Derek's stories? Yeah, so the Down River one was, was it someone? Yeah, you really listened to these. What was the Down River one?

Just, I mean, it's only two minutes long. Go listen to Derek's story. But just your best yorm, just for Josh, real quick, how did Derek ruin this? So Aesop's fable is that there's a lamb that's bathing in a river, and

then up from there, there's a wolf trying to come up with an excuse to eat the lamb, to basically be like, hey, how dare you drink from the water that I'm bathing in? He's like, oh no, the water is uh soiled it cannot be for me because it runs down from you to me and it's a basically like he's gonna eat him anyway sort of thing he's not gonna get like a villain is always gonna be a villain it was their was their moral but in in this version as he's trying to like poke at the lamb then d Derek's like, oh no, that's me actually.

I'm up here just ringing out the old dungarees here. And he's like, what? He's like, yeah, I must have had a bad jalapeno or something just ripped in the inside of my pants. He's right, Carmen. Because it's just the insides of my pants are just coated pockets to pockets. One of the things Jorm and Andy Sandberg,

who were two-thirds of the Lonely Island, I think one of the things you probably connected on early in life was a love of diarrhea as a punchline to a joke. It's still a punchline constantly. There's something that we're working on right now that involves diarrhea. Oh, I've heard it. Yeah. I've heard it. Have. I've heard it.

Have you played it for your kids? Because it's popular. My Wiley's friends cannot get enough. I literally had a conversation where he was like, I don't know why I can't hear this again. I'm like, it's not out yet. That's great.

You can't go find it. You've got your two kids. Do they travel well? Yes. And then it goes, I don't know if this is for you guys, but it goes back and forth. He was great. Wiley was on a plane at eight weeks to Berlin.

We were like, ah, he's settled. And then just recently, we went to London recently, and I was like you know oh man he was he was super anxious about the whole thing i don't know what interesting how was that how was he with the jet lag and like settling down when he got there it was i mean it was okay like we were trying to keep them on a new york schedule because it was five days but then every day it's like very consistently, it's like one hour has chipped away. And then by the end, I was like, no, we're fucked.

How long of a trip total? To London? Yeah. Was that like you were going to be there for a while? Oh, yeah. I mean, it was just the right amount to be problematic on the background. Gotcha. Yeah, we like to do it like that.

As long as it's very problematic. And they've had to move around. Your wife, Mari, who I've been lucky to know for a very long time, is much like you, an accomplished film director. So you guys have moved around. Your kids, not on trips, but hey, we live in Pittsburgh now. Because she's directing a movie about Mr. Rogers. So does Wiley, do you feel like as a kid, he thinks of that as a trip?

I don't know. We had to live in Berlin as well for a little while because Mario was doing the Queen's Gambit out there. So we were there for the same amount of time. It was basically like four and a half months. So it's always been that it's crossed over into his school year. So it's a little bit beyond a trip because then you're also going to school there.

So he's gone to school in Pittsburgh and Berlin and LA recently. And yeah, so it's like, he's had to, it's like the summer plus two months or something like that. So we, I don't know what he thinks of it as like, it's actually another,

like, like now I'm creating my own family trips and, and the, I think maybe the best trip, because I make a lot of dad decisions. I'm like, this will be fine. And when it was just Wiley, because there's a pretty big gap.

He's nine, our daughter's three. But when we were in Berlin, I decided to take him. Mari had to go to London for a second. This sounds very hoity-toity. We're like jet-setting. But she has to be in London for the weekend. And I was like, I'm going to go to London for a second. This sounds very hoity-toity. We're like jet-setting. But she has to be in London for the weekend. And I was like, I'm going to go to this place that these stuntman guys,

when I was working on Kung Fury, the movie, I met all these German stunt people who were like, you got to go to this place called Tropical Islands. And you should look this up. But there's a place called Tropical Islands. It's about 45 minutes outside of Berlin. And it's in the most massive old Soviet era. It's going east.

Soviet era Zeppelin factory. So it's the biggest twinkie, concrete-looking twinkie you've ever seen. And you're like, just so unbelievably massive. And they created a water park in it. Wow. so unbelievably massive. And they created a water park in it. So I was like, I'll bring my then like four-year-old to Tropical alone. Like I'll just bring him there. So I drive to Tropical Islands.

And then, you know, it's a theme. It's amazing. Like there's like a jungle inside and you can take a hot air balloon ride inside the thing. And we go there and then I just proceed to feed him nothing amazing. There's a jungle inside and you can take a hot air balloon ride inside the thing. Then I just proceed to feed him nothing but fries and candy for six hours. I was just like, yeah, this is great.

It's vacation. It's fine. Then getting home. Then wondering why he's melting down. Just screaming at me. And like, yeah, that was a good. Well, we saw you, we were in Pittsburgh and cross paths.

And I want to say grab lunch or something like that. But you've had a couple occasions to sort of be a dad in a new place where, I mean, I know that you're always working as well. But when Mari is shooting something, you might end up as like, now I'm a dad in Berlin with a kid, or now I'm a dad in Pittsburgh. And you've had to sort of adapt to those different cities. And you seem to really be enjoying it when you're in Pittsburgh in terms of like, oh, it's a whole new world of stuff.

We're a good couple for that sort of thing. Like when Mari's like, because Mari, I think when deciding to do the Queen's Game, she was also like, who's going to watch this show about chess? Like, really, like, because Mari, I think when deciding to do the Queen's Game, she was also like, who's going to watch this show about chess? Like, really? Like, come on. I was like, well, yeah, but you should do it.

Like, yeah. So, yeah, like, I'm definitely a good partner for that sort of thing. I'm just like, this will be fine. Like, whether it's like, or like, just like being overly optimistic. That's kind of what I mean by dad decisions. I think that, like, those are like, you know, like, I was just talking to Avi by dad decisions. I think that those are like... I was just talking to Avi the other day and he was like,

should I go to that? After we were going to... This is Kristen Wiig's husband. But Avi was like, in addition to going to this ninja trampoline park that we were at, he was like, I think we ought to go to the Natural History Museum.

I was like, yeah, man, push it. Get him some candy. God love him. When you touch down in a Berlin or a Pittsburgh, do you just start sort of Googling or reaching out to figure what are good things to do with a kid here? I like to sort of either drive around or run around and just figure out things

based on that so much. And then there were things that I would immediately do in places where somehow I always ended up at a skate shop kind of thing. So in Berlin... I like it. It's like somehow, I guess

maybe it's because I Google where's best skate shop. It might have been that. But like, no, I bought a skateboard there and I would skate at this park near where his school was. But that was also when we were writing the MacGruber series. So it was particularly weird because I met these, it's just meeting random people. I was like, I just have no shame and like, what's up, man? So there was a production company that was right

near where, like three doors down from where we were staying in Prince Lauerberg. And I met these guys and I was like, oh, there's like a film production company. And I was like, hey, when are you guys done? Because I'm writing with people in Los Angeles and they come in at like 10 in the morning. So if you're done at like 6.30, if I could get in here at 7, I could just write all night while you're not here. And so that's what every night I would write from like 7 p.m. to like sometimes 5 in the morning. Then I would go back to bed as long as I could.

Then I would drive Wiley to school. Then I would go to the skate park to try to make myself tired. Then I would go Wiley to school. Then I would go to the skate park to try to make myself tired. Then I would go back to bed. I like the Germans. Germans think an American skater, their stereotype now is they just do it to fall asleep. Well, when you're my age, and by the way, I don't skate much.

You can't see the scar, but the last time I really tried was... I will say that the kind of dad you are, because I have this, I don't know, you can't see this scar, but like the last time I really tried was, so yeah. Yeah, I will say that the kind of dad you are, it's like, let's just go to the place the German stuntmen recommended. It does like, because another thing in aces that really made me laugh was when he asked your dad where you were going in Hawaii,

your dad was like, it's like kind of a scene. That's such a funny thing. They party pretty hard. They party pretty hard. That's such a funny thing. They party pretty hard. They party pretty hard. That's such a funny thing for a dad to tell an eight-year-old. Yeah, yeah. Oh, the other crazy thing

in researching this with my parents was that both of them, their response when I was like, yeah, I was disappointed. Both of their responses was like, wow. They just had no idea. I will say, I'm going to guess,

based on your parents and based on their philosophy about the world, they also would probably be like, yeah, sorry, Yoram. Our friends got evicted. I'm sorry you had a bad vacation. It wasn't so much that. It was my mom was like,

you know what? You learned something. And it was not wrong. I just don't know if I would call it a vacation. I would say you did a grandparents move when you were calling it a dad move.

But bringing a kid to a water park and just feeding them sugar for like six hours? Yeah, that's fair. Because I feel like grandparents sort of feel like they have this diplomatic immunity of like, hey man, what they do in my six hours. I'm above the law.

It's always different when there's no one to hand off that child to. I remember the first time, I think the first time our oldest had ice cream was with my father-in-law, who's the best dude in the world. But he came home and Alex was like, did you get my ice cream? And he went, he liked it. And I said, we didn't think he wouldn't like it.

I was just laughing. First of all, I was very pro the idea of like, that's exactly how we should get ice cream for the first time, is on the sly with his grandpa. So I got no problem. But I was like, your defense stinks. I just like it when parents now, when it shifts a little bit where they're kind of in the kid position.

I'm like, oh, but no, but I didn't mean, you know. We did that with my mom a lot too. Like pandemic, because we were out there in the Bay for the birth of my daughter. And it was the same. Granted, it was pandemic time. So we had some rules that we were supposed to follow. And then occasionally my mom would just be like, it was like, you couldn't go to a store. And then we'd come back and, yeah, she'd brought him to go get ice cream.

And we were like, it's a store. It's still a store. And she'd be like, well, you know what? You all gave it. And you're like, the dynamic has shifted here. You also wonder how much the kid is sort of pushing that, being like, Grandma, please, Grandma, please. And it's like, well, I'm not going to

make his dreams come true in these moments. Were your parents big on were they okay with sweets? Yeah. I think so. I think we had probably no exaggeration. i would say we ate 10 times more sweets than my kids oh easily well yeah maybe higher your kids eat sweets that

aren't sweets like they get tricked i have a joke in my stand-up which is their cookie is what we used to have to eat to get a cookie like that's how healthy their cookies are. It was like, if you finish this, weird like smash dates shaped into a circle. See, that was my upbringing. Like, because we had like care of it.

Oh yeah, that's, I remember Sandberg said the same thing, but you Berkeley kids were like, wait. No, no, there was a moment where me and my friend snuck a bottle of vitamin C. We ate an entire bottle of vitamin C. And I got it and I was like, wait. No, no. There was a moment where me and my friend snuck a bottle of vitamin C.

We ate an entire bottle of vitamin C. And I get it. I was like, oh, we ate 50,000 times our daily allowance. And just peed like electric. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Like I'll go to Seth's house and like my nephew Ash will be like, oh, do you want an ice cream, Uncle Poshy? And I'll be like, sure. And I'll go to the fridge and Alexa will be like, oh, do you want an ice cream, Uncle Poshy? And I'll be like, sure.

And I'll go to the fridge and Alexia will be like, it's not ice cream. It's something else. It's weird. Yeah, like, do you want a cookie? And she's like, it's not a cookie. It's like they all have the texture of an old coin. Like that's how hard it is to fight through one of the coins.

Yeah, you're looking in the right places then. That's really hippy-dippy shit. Because I felt like all that got better. Like back in the 70s, which I can say. Oh, I will say that. I mean, well, Josh is a vegan. And even in just the last few years, the food tastes so much better

your options taste yeah way better way better yeah also last time i was with seth and his family the kids got these little like parfait desserts and it was like this fake chocolate thing with some fruit and whipped cream and they were like where's this whipped cream from and alexi had to be like i made it and they were like oh she's like whipped cream from? And Alexi had to be like, I made it. And they were like, oh. She's like, yeah, I made the mistake of one time giving them like ready whip. And now if I like make them.

They're like, whoa, there's a whole world. Homemade whipped cream. They're like, this is garbage. First time, but then it's, by the way, the first time Ash had a real hot chocolate because there were no other options. We'd taken, we were in New Mexico where Alexi lives. We'd taken this gondola up.

Oh, you've, you know, you've shot McGruber there, you know, but like that crazy gondola that goes to the top of this. And again, you get up there and it's like this little chalet

and it's, Ash is with his cousin and so they shared a, literally shared a hot chocolate that was a real one and then he threw up and we had to like

give him an hour long bath. We had to cancel dinner reservations because it's like, wow, we can't. him an hour long bath. We had to cancel dinner reservations because it's like, wow, we can't. Yeah, the real stuff. He didn't have a hot chocolate. We're not sure

he's going to make it. Yeah. He's going to be a real joy when he goes off to college. Yeah. He's going to be like, oh, Ash has to go lay on the bathroom floor again.

He's back with the nurse. Yeah, that's it. Like Ash's frat house, like we had to hold his hair back while he puked up M&M's Yorm

a lovely trip I took and again a lot of times I speak and almost like try to legally defend myself against Josh calling it out as not a family trip but when your family began I went on a trip to your wedding and it was fantastic

it was in big sir yeah correct carmel close very close carmel close but it was a really lovely and also like everything there was a real nice wavy gravy vibe to the whole oh was there do you know from your perspective that's yeah it's nice to hear yeah i mean there i feel like there were a lot of like there were like people where like yoga was a profession. Oh, well, yeah. That set the tone. You know what I mean?

Like there was, it was like comedy slash yoga. No, that, okay. That really set the tone because the woman who married us is a yoga instructor, is our friend who we went on a yoga retreat with. So that really set that tone. And then later it was on Kay.

I think it was the first time I was somewhere, and God, correct me if I'm wrong, she maybe started by making us thank the people who the land, does that sound right? A land acknowledgement? Yes. I think it was the first time I heard a land acknowledgement out loud. Yeah, yeah, I think that that is right.

And it's also like, that's always a fun one because you ask your friend to do it and then you're like, oh, that's what you're going to say. Like, it was a big surprise to me as it was to you. Yeah, but it was great. And the other thing, this is, now I'm treading on dangerous ground because it's a little bit of

an snl story so i'll make it quick josh but i will say i think the peyton manning show where forte did that dancing scene where he was a basketball coach had happened the previous year because it was a summer wedding and then this woman like an older woman said to will like that i love that so much and then will just did the full dance he just like it was that thing where when you compliment forte you end like I felt like halfway through it I was worried the woman was gonna be like

uh huh no no I remember it it was during the wedding he did this no no no it was like at the hotel oh okay gotcha gotcha

yeah but it was one of those really fun I mean those weddings and there were a few of them mine was right at the tail end of it but like it was

those that like that was that it felt like an SNL wedding it was a lot of fun yeah it really was and Josh I'm sorry I didn't invite you we weren't you know that. But it felt like an SNL wedding. It was a lot of fun. Yeah, it really was. And Josh, I'm sorry I didn't invite you. We weren't, you know. That's okay.

If it's more SNL stuff, I'm glad I'm done. I get it. Uh-huh. This was awesome. Was that all we had from Asa? Because the one thing I want to say is how much I enjoy Asa's voice. I love my brother's voice.

He's fantastic. In fact, we just did a thing for this Knuckles Sonic the Hedgehog spinoff show that he did all the music for and he plays the voice of this demon. So when you see episode four, that's my brother. He did do one more that was about

a fight that I had with my dad that I don't remember that was on the show. Let's hear it. My mom said that my brother and my dad got into it and that it got physical. I guess Yorm punched my dad or something. I told this to my dad.

He was like, I have no recollection of that. But he said that some months prior, Yorm had graduated eighth grade and after the graduation ceremony, he disappeared with his friend Winston for like five hours. And my parents were like losing their shit, freaking out. And when he came home, he was just like, I'm not going on the Hawaii trip. Nobody understands me. Only Winston understands me. That was the quote that my dad remembered. And he said, oh shit, this is how it's about to be when we're out in Hawaii. It's just going to be an uphill battle for Yorm. Not for me,

I was chilling. Aren't you glad I played that? I'm so glad. Do you now, is Winston, do you remember Winston? Yeah. Okay. Winston, My friend Winston Ross and a guy named Mark Shotland, I was very good pals with right before I met Akiva. I met Akiva when I was 12 years old. So yeah, so I met those guys, and we were in, it was the first comedy rap that I was ever involved in. We were in a group called Strike Three because we each struck out with ladies.

Super cool. Yeah, so we would write raps about... I guess it wasn't comedy. It was comedy rap from an outside perspective. For us, it was just emotional rap. Right. You didn't think Strike 3 was funny. You were like,

we're showing you our full hearts. But me and Winston did some pretty good... We had some pretty good pranks though we did a lot of prank calling because you could do that back in the day so our big the one I was the most proud of because I was like this is a really weird joke

for two 12 year olds to come up with we would call in our little voices we would call people's houses and we would find an answering machine and then we would read. We'd fill up their answering machine by reading John Steinbeck's The Red Pony.

We'd just keep calling back and be like, where was I? Chapter 2. That's a fucking weird joke. Just think about our little, little voices being like, chapter, Captain Duke. And that's how Audible started. That's how Audible started.

Bay Area. That's when Bay Area became a tech hub. Somebody was like, this is amazing. I'm listening to the Red Pony. You know what? I did listen to it to go to bed. The best one that I get Higgins does to me,

Steve Higgins, SNL producer that Jorm and I know. First time McConaughey hosted, he told a story in his monologue, and Higgins said, you producer that Yoram and I know, first time McConaughey hosted, he told a story in his monologue, and Higgins said, you should practice it and record it. And so McConaughey recorded this long story about his dad. And then like every three years,

I'll get a voicemail, and it's just like, and then I'll remember my dad's, and I'm like, what is this? And I'm like, oh, fucking Higgins. Just literally finds it and then plays it. Those are the best jokes to me. Those are the best jokes.

With the advent of AI, this is in the same vein. I wanted to find old emails that I hadn't responded to and then have AI write a book as a response. Like, write 300 pages on how sorry I am that I didn't do it. And then send that years later, like, Dear Seth, I'm so sorry I missed it. Just like, rah! Why did I miss it in the first place?

Yeah. I looked around my place for the sweatshirt you said you left over here. I just can't seem to find it anywhere. Do you, looking back, do you think it's true that Winston was the only one who understood you? Maybe. It's possible. I mean, it's, you know. It must be a funny thing when people become teens,

when kids become teens, that you actually then start commiserating with the younger kid about like, look out for this one. Like, all of a sudden, an eight-year-old is more rational. Because it does feel like, I know we this one. Like all of a sudden, an eight-year-old is more rational. Because it does feel like, I know we're hearing Asa's perspective as an adult, but really, from those two short messages.

This was always the dynamic, though, Seth. Asa was always cooler than me. Like Asa, okay, just to give some context. First of all, my brother's in a band called Electric Guest. He's a very talented music producer. He's an incredible musician. So he's a cool lead singer of a band. Always been cool as shit.

When the first time I met Asa, because I will say, all jokes aside, I thought you were cool. Yeah, I'm fine. When you showed up at SNL. I'm totally fine. I do not think you're a nerd anyway. When your brother showed up,

I thought you were the biggest fucking nerd in the world. I was like, oh shit. Next to Asa. Yeah, Asa's like me from Concentrate. Everything's sharper, smaller, more compact. He's a Googler. He had a competition with himself where he was trying to see how many winter balls

and proms he could go to in the Bay Area. I think he went to 13 or something. I met a girl. Two girls introduced themselves to me on the same day, to me, his brother, as their girlfriend. He's like, well, this is my boyfriend. I was like, oh, really? I just, because I just met somebody. And you were like, I'm in strike three.

Yeah, exactly. So to get back to that. So I used to record myself on an audio cassette. And when I was rejected, this was real painful. When I got my strike, I recorded a lot of myself. And she just, she didn't like me, I guess. It was like a lot of that. Like 10 minutes of that.

And then years later, my brother found this tape. And he was like, dude, I found this tape of this girl crying about something. I was like, that's not a girl. That's me. I was like, yeah, this is perfect. I mean, I was hopeful that he had remixed it, that he had used his multitude of music skills to make it. If we only had that to go out on.

I know. And here it is. What a delight. Thank you to both you and Asa for the work he put into this. But before you go, Posh has some questions. Yes. Alright, here we go, Yoram. You can only pick one of these. Is your ideal

vacation relaxing, adventurous, or educational? I think it's adventurous. What's your favorite means of transportation? Train, plane, automobile, boat, bike, your own two feet? I'm a real Joe Biden. I do like

trains. All right. I feel like trains. A lot of people train. Well, that's the romantic answer. If I'm probably being honest, it's like, oh, it's a fast plane. It's a romantic answer, but I think if we had it's also a good reminder if we had better trains in this country i think a lot of people are yeah right there ready on the lot ready to take them yeah if you could take a vacation with any family alive or dead fictional or real other than your own family what family would you like to take a vacation with? Oh, alive or dead. Like, so are people mostly choosing like historical figures?

So, I mean, some, some are like, you know, friends or other, you know, celebrity families or. Yeah, it'd probably be like, it's hard not to like Macho Man's family, you know. Randy Macho Man Savage. Like Macho Man, Randy Savage's family. And I would hope it would be like somewhere in Florida. Yeah. By the way, just a little shout out.

Macho Man released a rap album and it's called Be a Man Hulk. It's a diss album to Hulk Hogan. If you have not heard it, it's one of the best

things you've ever heard. It's really well produced. And he says, because he doesn't want to alienate fans, he says, kick you in the butt a lot.

Kick you in the butt. Like it's fucking great. And you can tell he's a real fan. I'm glad you said, if you haven't heard it, for all the listeners who were like, I heard that, dude. Oh, okay. I don't know how nerdy comedy fans your audience is. I think that's a wrestling and rap

fans. I don't even know if that's comedy. It's comedy, actually. If you had to be stranded on a desert island with one member of your family, who would it be? Asa. Coolest guy ever. Asa, great. Yeah, no, I mean, that'd be my pick.

And Berkeley, your hometown is Berkeley? Indeed. Would you recommend Berkeley as a vacation destination? No. Probably not. As kids, we thought it was like an urban hub. And I was like, this is like the coolest.

Berkeley's like hardcore. And then as soon as I moved away, I was like, oh, I lived in like a quaint college town with cafes. Yeah. Well, that sounds, it could be lovely. I've actually never been to Berkeley. I would, I'd like to, I'd like to see Berkeley. I went and did a show there once

and one of you guys told me, sent me to a very good burrito place. Gordo Burritos. I'll pronounce it correctly even though everyone says it with an S. Something. But Gordo Burritos. Yeah, that's it.

And in fact, there was a moment at SNL, Andy was like, having an animated discussion with Billy Joe from Green Day. And I walked up and I was like, you guys talking about Billy Joe, Joe from a green day. And I walked up and I was like, you guys talking about Gordo? And they're like,

yeah. Like, um, and then Seth has our final questions. Have you ever been to the grand Canyon? No. Would you want to go? Yeah.

Are you inviting? No. Okay. We just, Josh and I, it, Josh has barely been, and I haven't been,

and Josh really wants to do it, and I really don't. Why don't you want to? I mean, I probably will. Isn't that like one of the seven wonders of the world or something? There's no way of knowing. Don't do it.

Yeah. We're not going to look into that. But I just feel like, I think it's a seven. Yeah, I do. It's the wonder why people go there. Was that fast enough? Sick burn.

Was that a fast enough burn? I don't know if it was fast enough. Can we take the air out so it's like right after? And this is very exciting. And hopefully Josh won't be deeply jealous. Myself, Andy Sandberg, and Akiva Schaffer have a new podcast that just came out about the Lonely Island, about all the famous Lonely Island songs, as well as the ones that are unfamous and the ones that are infamous. I hope Josh is jealous

about this because I'm really excited about it. And I want to cut into your family time. really excited about and I want to cut into your family time. I'm not jealous. I'm very excited. I mean, there are songs that you guys have that will stick in my head. I jog very often to your music to complete albums of yours.

I think it's great. Yeah, I've always been a fan. That's shocking to me. Tell me, just to prove it, what song have you jogged to that whole album that the um uh the michael bolton track is is on so badly you'd be like poodle hat no it's a turtleneck and chain i want to say is it that yeah yeah that's a good all right you proved it and then very often if I'm like about to leave the house

and I can't find my wallet and my keys or like once I have everything, I'll go, okay, I'm reloaded. And then I leave. Oh my God. It's amazing to me that like he really did just love doing that impression. I think that's how it came about.

I've been like, well, I can do Scarface. I think that's how it came about. I've been like, well, I can do Scarface. It's made its way into my every day. And then there was a song that we did called Trouble on Dookie Island. And we wanted to have a Scarface sample on it because it was like a crime story, like Wu-Tang style crime story. And we were like, how much is that? Every time you use the sample, it's $10,000.

And we were like, we know a guy. We called him up. He was like, you need to do this sample for us. There's Garfield, this guy. Yeah. That's really funny.

And also, Josh is going to enjoy it because I think Josh will have less of an issue with SNL stories being on a podcast that is specifically about SNL stories. Yeah,

maybe he'll get it out of your system and you'll stop. Yeah. Yeah, well, maybe Seth will get it out of your system and you'll stop. Yeah. Yeah, well, maybe Seth will get it out of his system. He'll stop. That's what I'm talking about. He is the problem.

You're fine. Yeah, it almost never comes up because of Josh. Yeah. The real bummer will be when Josh listens to the Lonely Island podcast if all the stories are about family trips. I mean, what? Why are they in here?

What if it's really sweet, though? It's all just like, you know, talking about how much he loves his brother. Oh, yeah. Could be. You should tune in, Josh. Make your hopes up. I'm just like, a lot of me be like, enough about your songs.

You know what really rules? Tell me more stories about voicemails that Steve Higgins left for you. I think that people are going to like the... Yeah, by the way, Josh knows Steve Higgins. It's not like someone only you and I know.

I know, but sometimes for the listener. All right, well, Joram, love you very much. Love you too. Yeah, I hope to see you soon.

Thanks, Asa. Yes, and if you want to go to the Grand Canyon, Josh, I'm all in. Great. Excellent. Asa and I are going to do some cool shit instead. Thanks, Asa. Yes, and if you want to go to the Grand Canyon, Josh, I'm all in. Great. Excellent. Asa and I are going to do some cool shit instead. Ah, what?

Alright, pal. Thank you. He wanted some now and laters Was just living his life Never said I'ma kill you With his own kitchen knife Wasn't great with the ladies So he started strike three. Yelled at his dad only, Winston understands me. Twelve-year-old Yoma Taccone took a Hawaiian vacay.

He was so disappointed when he saw where it stayed It was a structure made of driftwood With a tarp for a door There were flying cockroaches And you slept on the floor But his bro Acer loved it He was the cooler tween Freaking loved and a holder

He was part of the scene Went down the water slide with slick moss Going to a luau You might be more like Acer If he only knew how.