Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers - JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS & Sons Went Crazy Over The Abominable Snowman

Episode Date: December 9, 2025

This week Seth and Josh welcome Julia Louis-Dreyfus to the podcast! Julia joins the boys alongside her sons Henry and Charlie as they relive some truly legendary family trips: from safari chaos with lurking predators, to rainforest horrors involving tarantulas and urethra-swimming fish, to a Thanksgiving “plague” that took out the entire family like dominos. She shares the infamous Y2K New Year’s meltdown, the great pumpkin-pie disaster, Granny’s godfather-style Thanksgiving greetings, and so much more. Plus, Julia talks about the incredible women she interviews on season 4 of her hit podcast, Wiser Than Me, out now! Support our sponsors: Tovala For a limited time, save up to $300 on the Tovala smart oven when you order meals 6+ times, by visiting Tovala.com/TRIPS and using code TRIPS. Laundry Sauce Make laundry day the best day of the week! Get 20% off your entire order @LaundrySauce with code TRIPS at https://laundrysauce.com/TRIPS #laundrysaucepod Aura Frames Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/TRIPS. Promo Code TRIPS Mint Mobile Shop Mint Unlimited Plans at MINTMOBILE.com/TRIPS. That’s Limited time offer. Upfront payment of: $45 for 3-mo., $90 for 6-mo., or $180 for 12-mo. plan req’d ($15/mo. equiv.). Taxes & fees extra. Initial plan term only. >35GB may slow when network is busy. Capable device req'd. Availability, speed, & coverage varies. See mintmobile.com. Quince Get your wardrobe sorted and your gift list handled with Quince. Don't wait! Go to Quince.com/trips for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, Baji. Hey, Sufi. So we're recording this before you come out and do the Thanksgiving show with mom and dad. Yeah. It's an annual tradition. I guess this is the 12th year or the 11th year? It must be the 11th year. I don't know. So however many years you've been on the air with that show. No way to know. No. Do you look forward to this tradition, Pashi?

I do. I mean, I do get nervous. Yeah. There's always an element of nerves around it. And I forget, like, I mean, you guys are so good for people who don't do this show every night. Because even, like, you know, celebrities who come on talk shows who do other talk shows get nervous. It's a whole different thing. It's not a normal thing. Yeah. I have, I know of, you know, a celebrity who would sort of, is a household name who has a couple of. before every talk show appearance. And it just sort of like eases them into it. And so I think that that's a wise approach. And maybe I'm going to do something similar. Well, we always have drinks out there. Plus we have a drink on the show. Yeah, we have a drink on the show.

But I think you can have a drink before the show at this point in our process of doing it. Yeah. Mom and dad are probably going to come with stories. Mm-hmm. Mom, you know, mom's been red hot the last couple of years. yeah i mean they're both so practiced at this point dad's like dad's classically growing up you know he was the storyteller yeah um but mom has uh she's got an edge that uh you know she has such a sweet appearance but then she uh throws out some barbs yeah she's got some barbs yeah it's a good

way to i feel like the audience always appreciates that i certainly do she um uh dad is like so confident he's surprised he hasn't been booked on like other talk shows that's kind of dad's vibe yeah i'm very much looking forward to it i think we're going to try to get you guys to do a skit again oh great yeah that's a yeah that's an extra special part for me and uh and then we're going to have our uh our fakesgiving yeah we've uh you know for years and years we would have thanksgiving with uh this family from Amsterdam, the Moskoses, first with just the parents, and then they had two boys who are now, I don't know, 23 and 21, something like that. Yeah. We've been doing it for a long time, and they have started coming to New York so we could have a pseudo- Thanksgiving dinner that we do on Tuesday night.

Tuesday night, and I think we're 20 people strong this year. That's amazing. Yeah, it's a really good group. And I look forward to that. And it's very fun to be at a Thanksgiving dinner that's a fake Thanksgiving dinner because that way I don't have to invite my children. And at no point while I'm enjoying my dinner, does someone say to me like, try to get Axel to eat his green beans?

I like that. I've also, you know, we've always played games with this family. Also, I should say, you know, my mother-in-law will be there. My wife will be there. But I have sent you a couple games, which are arriving to day. day. Okay. So just keep those on hand. Because Wednesday, we, you know, we tape the show on Wednesday, and then we go back to your house for sort of a double dip, and we get some Chinese food, and we hang out and play game. So hopefully that game night's going to be a fun.

Very much looking forward to it. We have had a lot of different accommodations of guests. We've had mother-daughter. We've had married couples. We've had sisters. Mm-hmm. This is a new combo for us coming up. Yeah. Maybe my favorite combo we've ever had. Yeah, well, I mean, the top of this pyramid is tough to beat. Yeah.

So we got mom and two sons already great. When then the mom is Julie Dreyfus. Come on now. Yeah. Come on now. And her two sons, which it's also, you know, one of them played basketball at Northwestern, which was huge for us. We were clearly rooting on this young man

while he was at Northwestern, and that was very exciting. I do want to say as well, we mention Meow in this episode, and I don't know if we ever are very clear about what it is. Great. But Meow is the sound of cat makes.

Also, it's the college improv troupe. It's the Northwestern improv troupe that Julia was a member of and both of us were members of when we were there. Yeah. And, you know, we certainly talked from Northwestern, but Julia and her husband,

both Northwestern. Yeah. And our mom and dad, both Northwestern. A lot of Northwestern in this one. So if you went to University of Illinois might not be for you. We don't really have a rival. I was trying to think of like

what Northwestern's rival is. And we don't really have a way. When you're not a juggernaut in sports, you don't really end up with. Yeah. It's who we play last every year. So I feel like that's the closest you can come. Yeah. Do please enjoy it.

Thanks for listening, everybody. Family Chips with the Miles Brothers. Family Chips with the Miles Brothers. here we go oh oh hello henry hello Julia hey guys

hi friends I'm so happy to see you guys I'm really Josh and I are both hoping this will lead us to getting booked on your podcast Julia so just that way yeah because you're both

70 year old women is that correct you have a lot to share I love I mean I love your podcast as a you know, approaching 50-year-old man, I feel like I have a lot to learn from these women as well. Well, you do, Josh. I do, as a matter of fact.

Not me. Has that ever occurred to you? I got nothing to learn from them. Interesting, Henry. Interesting. And you feel like because you already know it or because they're just spreading lies? Which one? You know, a little from column A, a little from column B.

And Henry, did you write the song? Did you write the theme song to that? Yeah, yeah, I wrote all the music for it. Yeah. Yeah. and recorded it with some friends of mine. What is that process like, Julie, when you're getting first drafts of music from your son?

Do you guys have a good back and forth creatively as far as, like, notes? I'd actually like Henry to answer that question. Do we? Honestly, yes, absolutely. You've good taste in music, Mom. Are you bullshitting right now? A little bit, right?

I did my sarcastic bit about the... Wise old women, I don't think I want to double down. You spent that for, you knew you had one bullet. You just walked into the sloon and just fired it into the ceiling. Yeah, yeah, just buckshot all over the podcast. Did you, as a, were you a family as a musician? Were you a family that agreed on music when you were growing up, Henry? Uh, yes.

My dad, luckily, uh, you guys showed me. they should you know my my my dad showed me like the smiths and you know i the generation it's not like my parents were listening to like uh benny goodman and um although benny goodman's good yeah yeah no no benny goodman is good of course but but there's remember she talks to a lot of very old women yeah right right um but my dad was like you know check out the the smiths and check out paul simon and all this music that um is cool no matter what you know it's evergreen was there like an artist that was like the family artist like for us it would have been john prine probably yeah who were who were your touchstones beetles without a doubt

yeah my dad is like in uh you know he he knows as much about the beetles as i do about the simpsons which is saying something. Right. And I'm a big Simpson's fan. And, yeah, Beatles, like a lot of that, like North England's, you know, early 80s, Joy Division, Smith's, you know, factory, like music, that stuff. Bonnie Ray. Bonnie Ray, yeah, Bonnie Ray.

Yeah, Bonnie Raid was the one person at the SNL-50th of my wife wanted to meet and get a picture with. And with good reason. And it was one of those, you know, don't meet your heroes. And if it's Bonnie Ray, go right ahead. Yes. Without question. Yeah. Without question.

I remember years and years gone, I don't know if you remember this, Henry. We went to some sort of fundraiser and Bonnie was sort of headlining it. And Henry, you came. And she played guitar for a long period of time. And your jaw was on the ground. Do you kind of remember that or not really? I have to be honest. I don't remember that.

So, anyway, a huge influence in his life. I feel like that's, I mean, I would imagine, like, due to the life your parents have left, you've got a lot of incredible experiences that would have resonated with a lot of other kids that just went, you know, in one ear, out the other. Yeah, I hope so. I hope I lack perspective. That's all I can really. I will say something about that.

did a show in L.A., and a couple of the writers from Veep went to the show, one of whom was in Maxstone Graham. Oh, yeah, of course. I don't know if you guys know him. Famous Simpson's writer as well. Exactly. Bingo. And he's actually a big fan of Henry's music, and he came and met him that night.

And then afterwards, everybody was sort of hanging out. And I go up to these guys, and all they're doing, is recounting Simpson episodes to one another. It was the most extraordinary thing to witness. It was so charming, really, because Ian was enjoying the conversation as much as you were, Henry, because you were just like reciting Simpson scenes back and forth to one another.

Do you remember this? Absolutely, we were being completely antisocial. Yes. And, you know, saying whatever. I mean, my dream is to be at a party and a sort of a young talented person just wants to talk about my work. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, totally, totally, yeah, yeah.

We, it's funny, you mentioned the Beatles, because famously, our dad doesn't like the Beatles, which is just an incredible, like, position to hold. Yeah, and I remember my best friend from college, Pete Gross, who was in Veep. Oh, yes, of course. And I remember we did an improv show once, My dad was there, and my dad was underwhelmed.

He's also a real straight talker, and he sort of gave us the notes about how he was underwhelmed. And then my Pete goes, we do have to keep in mind, he also doesn't like the Beatles. Wow, that's awesome. That's an incredible safety net. Yeah, yeah. By the way, I had the same experience. My dad did not like the Beatles. Is that true, Mom?

I didn't know that. Yeah. Big Pop was always telling Brad that he was wrong. and that the Beatles were not just bad, but awful. Yeah. He thought they were awful, yeah. Did your dad also have some harsh notes about the meow show? Yes, as a matter of fact.

He had a harsh notes about the meow show. He had harsh notes about SNL. He had harsh notes about, he had very pleasant notes for all the other people I was working with. Yeah. She's good Yeah She's a genius That guy can

That guy knows what he's doing Yeah That kind of stuff It was really It was it was It was very healthy Yeah Well it's good

I mean again I there's a I mean I've always said like My mom was the one Who was supportive Of everything we did No matter how bad And then our dad

Only ever gave us credit For the very top tranche of work we did And I do think it's to have one of each. I guess so. What, I mean, like, what is he like that you've done? Well, you know, it's early in my career, so I... Yeah.

This is, what, year two, Seth? It's year two. Yeah. He, I think he was happiest, much like, I think, a lot of viewers. I think he was happiest when I found my way to the update desk. He was like, no more sweaty sketches for me, please. I'd like you just sitting in one place. He's like, I like when I can tell you're reading stuff other people wrote.

Oh, God. it's proof that his son can read he's complimentary in the right uh for the right thing yeah yeah right um i mean we do charlie is going to grace us with his presence i believe but uh well so we'll get to some family trips that include all of you but before he does julia what were your family trips growing up where would you guys go where where did you grow up first and then where would you go well i grew up in uh new york city and washington D.C., both. Yeah.

And we primarily went to... Baltimore. Yeah. We primarily went to ski resorts in the humid month of August. On the East Coast. This is what I remember. Yeah, no, please. And then my parents...

this is my mom and my stepdad. They put together a really big trip for us to take when I was 18 and with my two younger sisters. And we went to Scotland. And it rained the entire time. We were there. And my sister, who was nine at the time, my little sister, Lauren, she refused to eat anything. because, you know, it was like scotch eggs and haggis and everything freaked her out. So by the end of the trip, she looked like she needed to be hospitalized because she was so gone.

The only thing we could get her to eat were those ice creams, those Cadbury vanilla ice creams with the chocolate stick coming out of it that they do in Europe. So she ate a lot of those. but that was kind of it. Yeah. Yeah. And the sweaty ski mountains that you would go to, what were the activity, were you there to hike or just to enjoy? Well, to try not to get bitten by mosquitoes. Yeah.

That was one activity. And another activity was just trying to find boys, which I never seemed to. to find. Well, they were, did they ever tell you they're here in the winter? You should try in the winter. There was nobody. I mean, I remember watching Sunny and Share in a rental cabin. I remember watching a Sunny and Share show.

And that was really fun, that part of it. Well, it's good to have highlights. I will say, you know, and again, I'm sure it's bad. The Scots are not known for their cuisine, and hopefully they will not take offense. Well, I'm sure they have taken offense, FYI. And I think I've been to Scotland subsequently, and they've up to their cuisine game without question. The dumbest thing I ever did at a charity auction was I was the first bidder on a week at a Scottish castle. And I had been, I had a couple of drinks and was feeling a little frisky.

and raised my paddle kind of and it was a real high starting bid but I assumed like in this this room full of Tony people but it felt like it was a trap bid because as soon as I raised my paddle they were like going once going twice sold

like I was like oh no and Josh was with us we went to the castle and how to go it was a lot of Scottish castles it turns out upkeep hasn't been a big part of it yeah that's not a priority

I would say it was very It was a breezy castle But I remember the first meal It felt like the chef at the castle Was maybe 17 years old And they rolled up cold cuts It was like a thing of turkey And a thing of cheese and a thing of ham

And they rolled it into little like tubes Oh, that sounds clever Yeah It was Alexi was early pregnant with our first And she still this day says It's the worst trip of her life Awesome

We did some cool stuff But there, like, there was, there were chicken breasts that were, like, the breading was corn flakes. Like cereal, corn flakes, yeah. So, yeah, it wasn't, it wasn't the best food on that trip. Yeah. Did you know your grandfather, well, Henry, you seemed surprised that he didn't know the Beatles. Was he a part of your life growing up? He was a part of my life.

That detail was left out about not liking the Beatles. But he liked other stuff. He liked the New York Jets. Did you have a – were grandparents a big part of trips for you guys growing up? We – let's see. Yeah, kind of. We did a lot of nuclear family trips, though, I would say. Not a lot of – yeah, yeah.

I mean, we would go to visit grandparents. Yeah, I mean, in other words, but we wouldn't go – well, with the exception of going to Wyoming when you were younger, we wouldn't really go on trips with them. It was, we, we went to Thanksgiving a few times in D.C. and stuff like that. Yeah. Right. The classically had our, had our most chaotic worst Thanksgiving in Washington, D.C. with our grandparents and what happened. It's the season.

Yeah, sure, sure. It is the season indeed, yeah. We, um, we all, uh, you know, congregate in, in D.C. for Thanksgiving and, um, we're all cooking and everything. the a plague uh descends upon the entire family everyone is deathly ill the entire time really really sick um then on top of that every dish is ruined in some way the gravy is like gelatinous it looks like a volcano yeah the turkey's undercooked it's you know the weather's really bad everything everything wait and I have to interject there was one moment in which your cousin who was like three at the time she had gotten particularly ill and violent diarrhea and vomiting

and she I just remember she had had a terrible accident and her dad your uncle was carrying her like with her arms out like this and telling her to keep her arms straight and not move while he carried her under the armpits sort of across the room because she had just had some explosion happen and he was telling her not to move and we're trying to try to put together this family meal as this sort of like time

it felt like a bomb had gone off and he's taking her across the room and she's like this terrified anyway carry on Yeah, my dad still does that to me to this guy. There's, aren't you stuck in doorways, though? Yeah, you just go through it. No, you just go sideways.

Yeah, yeah, you got to take your losses, honestly. Otherwise, it's a really good thing to do. You know what doesn't work I've found with my three young children? Anytime you tell them, don't move. You know what I mean? It just immediately they feel as though that's a trap. Yeah. We are, we always refer to our family as a core four,

which is what you guys are same thing, two boys and that's Josh and I our family but we took a lot of vacations just the four of us and we would the same thing like we would visit grandparents but mercifully

never had them like on an airplane with us which I think it's a way better life to live. We definitely didn't do that either but it's funny you say that about all boys because when the kids were little we took them to Tanzania and we were on safari

and we got there and I'm going to say Charlie was seven maybe, so that and Henry was 12 and are the leader of, I was, I was like 16 and Charlie was 12. Okay, sorry. So, and so we get there, 16 and 12. And the leader of our group says, starts to say sort of the rules of camp because it wasn't like, it wasn't like we were staying in a resort. We were staying intense out in the bush, you know. And he says, okay, now the first rule of camp is,

No running. And I remember thinking, oh, my God, this was a huge mistake. I have two boys who are being told not to run because they are prey here out in prey. And that was, we got sick on that trip too, Han. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody got really sick on that trip, too. Is this just coincidence that it's the first two? Or are you just kind of very sickly as a family?

We carry around a plague wherever we go. Yeah. We try to. I mean, nothing's worse than the moment where the first one gets sick and you know it's coming for everyone. Everyone. Yeah, that's true.

God, is that the truth. Yeah, you've got no choice. Hey, we're going to take a quick break and hear from some of our sponsors. Support comes from Tovala. With our next sponsor, you'll avoid the daily 5 p.m. What's for dinner?

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festive shows, rides, and holiday treats. Plus, Coca-Cola is back with Canada's kindest community, celebrating acts of kindness nationwide, with a chance at 100,000 donation for the winning community and a 2026 holiday caravan stop. Learn more at canadaswunderland.com. Here we go. So what about, did you guys ever, I mean, imagine, look,

you are your family, you live in Los Angeles. Did you ever, were you ever in a road trip, the four of you? Did you guys ever drive anywhere? We drove to Yosemite once. Yeah, we drove to Yosemite. We didn't take long, long car rides. Yeah. Did we?

How about that for an answer? No, but Yosemite's a drive. Yosemite's a drive. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I have done that drive. We actually, we stayed at the place where the hotel where the Shining is like, the set of the Shining is sort of based off of, didn't we? Or we visited there, something like that.

It was spooky. Was that in Estes Park in Colorado or is that in where Yosemite is? No, Henry's, you're complaining. The second I said that, I realized, that's not true. That's made up what I used to. It's made up, but it looks like it. It was that Awani Hotel. Yes.

Do you think at this point there's a chance, though, your parents just lied to you on that drive and now you're having like a seated memory? Yeah, my parents lied to me a lot. So were you uh that's it you have a bit of a age gap with Charlie were you guys close growing up uh yes we uh we were we were very close now i thought you're going to say we were and now it's yeah there's a reason let's just say there's a reason he's late to the podcast yeah he's waiting for me to log off um no uh yeah we five years you know when when i was like what 15 and he was 10, that was not, I did not like him very much.

Yeah. Did he want to be just all up in your business? No, he was honestly completely fine. I was just, I just unloaded all of my, anything, you know, he was the, my punching bag, metaphorically. Well, and in fact. And, and for real, too. Yeah, they used to, when you were a little younger than that, they used to play a game called Lighthouse College. Yeah.

And they would both be going to a lighthouse college. And usually Henry was the wrestling coach. Yeah, I was a wrestling coach. And I was a really, I was a nasty professor, too. Oh, wow. If Charlie wasn't paying attention, I would throw books at him. Yeah, or you would beat him up and wrestle him as the coach. And that was essentially Lighthouse College.

Yeah, you know, Lighthouse is the funding at Lighthouse College was really, It's a huge issue, yeah. Most of the professors had two jobs. By the way, this really speaks to what a showbiz family are. Most kids just wrestle and you guys built this like the world building that went into it. Yeah, we did some major world building. They don't have a lot of money. Yeah.

Here's the elevator pitch, really. The wrestling coach probably has failed at previous schools. This is his last stop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's working for scale. And then you just wail out each other like any kids would. Yeah. Did you, were there years where you and Brad were,

aware, Julie, of like, oh, my God, the strain that Charlie is causing Henry with just being, like, younger and, uh, irritating or is it just like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you ever aware of the trauma you'd inflicted on him? Yes.

Exactly. By having a second child. Yeah, we should, I mean, to be honest, we shouldn't have had Charlie. It was amazing. Oh, finally someone says it. Jesus. Finally. Have you guys, uh, as you've gotten older, do you still go on family trips, the four of you together? Or has life gotten too

fast for that? Yeah, well, actually, we, I don't know if this, I got back less than 24 hours ago from Indonesia with my, my dad and I went there together on a certain group. So I'm, this is me, I'm running on fumes. What brought, what was the, uh, the impetus for you and your dad taking a two-man trip to Indonesia? Good question. Uh, we, uh, we, uh, are, uh, uh, are surfers. So you're up surfing my whole life. Yeah, yeah. And Indonesia is sort of the number one destination for surf in the whole world. So this is our second time. Is it aggressive surfing? Like how big are these waves? How good does one have to be to go where you went? I would say sort of like being able to go in the backcountry skiing. That's a sort of similar

that's a comparison people you're going to run into a lot of people though who uh shouldn't be out there though yeah uh unfortunately it's become very very crowded and and stuff well i i'm going to interject and say henry is um being humble he's a very good surfer and and he competed when he was younger and um so that's me his proud showbiz family my mom is also my publicist And Mammajur. Now that you've done that, though. How good is Brad really? Brad can't surf.

He rips. He's one of the people that Henry was politely saying probably shouldn't be out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How old were you when you started surfing? Was that something that happened out of, like, a vacation or just from being a west coaster?

That's from my dad being from Santa Barbara. Got it. I would say, yeah. He pushed me into it. a wave for the first time when I was four four years old yeah so it's in the blood so it's such a bummer when you hear like your kids are already older like when it starts for like really good servers I mean I'm sure they could pick it up now but it's of course you start that young and then was it something were you would you ever take trips built around the fact that you and your dad

wanted to serve absolutely multiple times did we uh forego the comfort of my brother and mom in order to get good wave somewhere oh so because they would It wouldn't be, you would never want it to, were you not invited, Julia? Or was it like, I don't want to go to a surf town? Well, I'm invited if there's something for me to do. Right. But I don't surf. I've tried a couple of times, and I found it to be terrifying.

Yeah. So, you know, they have that excursion for the most part on their own. But I've been to a few places with you guys and then, you know, because there were other people. Oh, look who it is. Yeah. Farley. Charlie. Hi, honey.

Hopefully you guys were in a conversational flow that I've ruined. You've shut up just a time. These guys were both kind of running on esteem. Yeah, perfect. They tend to do that. Wait, but Charlie, is this? Are you not a surfer then, Charlie? I'm not a surfer.

I used to be kind of a surfer sort of, but no, Henry's the surfer. From the very beginning, did you kind of know, like, I can do this, but I don't really love it the way my dad and my brother love it? Yes. I was, I'm like too tall for surfing. Yeah. Yeah. And also, isn't that sort of an expression is Charlie don't surf? Yeah, Charlie don't surf. Yeah. I also, I like that it's like, I'm just like too handsome. I'm too handsome to surf. I'm like too tall and handsome and strong. I just think my center of gravity is too high. I'll just, I just fall. I'll say this too about Charlie. Charlie is highly competitive. And to the point where he'll hedge his bets.

on something so I think he at a young age saw that my dad and I just inherently had you know X amount of years of experience surfing over him and he was like mm okay he like did the math in his tiny brain yeah and he went basketball yeah I'm gonna play basketball instead of I do your dad is famously tall Charlie I feel like and he yet he's managed to figure out surfing that is just not to not to undercut your defense of why Now I feel like an idiot. But, yeah. There's also a rigmarole to surfing.

Like, you've got to, you know, you have to, like, change in and out of things. You have to bring a lot of stuff. It's, like, sandy. There's, like, things about it that I don't totally judge with entirely. I mean, that's the way I feel about skiing, which Josh and my dad love. And I was, again, it was just the gear. It's oppressive. It's gnarly, yeah.

There's a lot of it. Wait a minute. Seth, you don't ski? I do ski, but I just don't like it. And I will say, like, now that my boys ski and my daughter, like, they ski every weekend in the winter, we take them to, like, a little sort of shitty East Coast Mountain in Connecticut. And I love being on the mountain with my kids. But, like, when I was younger, Josh and my dad would take ski trips, and I would always be like, I think I'm good. Or we would go out and then it would get cold, and Seth and my mom would be like, we're going to go to the lodge and we're going to tap out.

Yeah. Got it. On this Peru trip, were you on that as well, Charlie? Did you go to Peru? I absolutely was. And so you and your mother would go off and do something else, I'm assuming? Or would, Julie, would you sort of kick him into some kids camp and then you just? Yeah, I would just give him to whatever babysitter I could find.

I'm trying to think, I mean, we did sort of, it was a real sort of, oh, that's right. We went to, we did the standard, you know, looking at Machu Picchu and stuff like that. But then we did take the guys and we went into the rainforest. And that was miserable, if I could be so bold as to say it. I mean, this was right before Brad and Henry were going to go off surfing, and we were in the rainforest. And we were getting, once again, getting out of the boat to sort of go to this Echo Lodge in the middle of the rainforest. course, but you had to walk in the water a ways. And this was, yeah, this was the river where they have those fish or something that can swim up your urethra. Oh, yeah, those. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know those fish. Yeah, every guy knows about those fish. As soon as you learn about them, you never forget them. Those are real fish. Those are real. Yeah. And I just remember being panicked with the boys and just saying, you know, keep your crotch out of the water. But by the way, though, that you were saying that the, you know, don't run thing was, you know, that's not a deterrent for little kids. Right. Don't put your crotch in the water because a little fish will swim up your penis. That actually worked.

Yeah. Yeah. That was a straight up deterrent. But then we have this experience where I was really freaked out because there was stuff in the forest there that was lethal, like snakes and a certain kind of snake that if you got bit, it would kill you instantly sort of a thing. And they had really big tarantulas and stuff all over this place.

And Brad and I was like the night before we were headed out of there. and we were walking back to our room where we were staying, and it was dark, and I felt something sort of go on me, and I sort of went, ugh, like that. And he knew that I really didn't like it there. And I said, geez, that was awful. He goes, it's okay. It's like, we're leaving tomorrow. Don't worry about it. I'm like, okay, fine, whatever. And we get into the room, and we go into the bathroom, and we're brushing our teeth, and Brad sort of bends over the sink. And there is a tarantula on his back this big

okay it's called a pink toad tarantula have your listeners look it up you'll see and I screamed oh my god there's a trancella on your back and without within a nanosecond

Brad took his t-shirt and just went and ripped it apart and the tarantula went flying across the room and it was a pink-toed tarantula and it was big it was a male pink-toed tarantula

tarantula and we found out later that they're usually very docile but but if a pink toad tarantula does bite you it can cause impotence wow yes yes a lot of like yeah private parts stuff a lot of what's going on that would have been I'm married to a man I've got two sons the bummer is that was if it had happened because like the most turned on you ever were it was when he ripped his shirt off, and then if that, at the same moment he'd become impotent, what a bummer, that would have been.

Yeah, totally. The irony. The irony is thick, and it could have been an absolutely rambunctious evening of, close your ears, boys. Sexual satisfaction. But it was not.

We were in Costa Rica with my boys, and there was just this line of, like, the reddest ants you've ever seen, carrying, like, leaves, like, from an animated film, like, watching these ants work together and we were just leaning down so close watching them and it was just this beautiful moment of nature and then the guy came over was like those are fire ants if they bite you and

basically was like god what is the point of being out here this isn't a vacation yeah i hear that i i don't disagree with that did you ever have either of uh uh the hall boys who were on this ever gone on a vacation with just your mother just the two of you we surprised her for mother's day Yeah, that's where my brain went, too. Yeah. Where'd you take her? We went to a restaurant. Yeah, we were in New York.

Okay. Well, wait a minute. Hold on. I was in New York by myself working. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was late at night. And I'm in, I'm all by myself.

I'm in the bedroom. I'm watching a movie. And I'm watching it. And all of a sudden, the kid in the movie sounds so much like my son. I feel like I hear this kid go mom Mom like that God that kid sounds like Charlie

Yeah I didn't want to scare I can't my flight got to I was supposed to get in earlier My flight got delayed so I ended up getting in at like midnight to New York And I was so terrified that I was going to scare you And so I was yelling mom mom I don't want to scare you It's your son I don't want to scare you And your door was closed and I was yelling outside for literally no exaggeration like five minutes

and you didn't you couldn't hear me I couldn't hear and I didn't open the door because I thought I'd like give you a heart attack well you did give me a heart attack by the way yeah yeah I took you guys to Portland once to see a basketball game oh my god of course that's the number one yep that's the number one

just the three of you just the three of us yeah yeah was this an interesting time to go to a basketball game Portland you seem to Well, a specific memory of it. Yeah, we, there's this guy he's sort of like in and out of the G League, um, who we got to meet this, LeBron something. What's his last time growing?

James. Is it James, but spelled with a G. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. That one. Yeah. Uh, we got to go to Portland and we, uh, see at Miami. This is, this is in the Miami Heat days. Wow.

But so you lived in L.A. So there obviously, you famously have a couple basketball teams. Was it special to go to Portland and see LeBron play? My mom's best friend works for Nike. So we had a whole Nike thing set up for us, which was unbelievably special. How old were you when this was happening? Was this like peak age to go to a sporting event?

Yes. Any age is peak age for us to go to a sporting event. We're also, like I would die for LeBron. Charlie's the biggest. Absolutely no. hesitation take a bullet like truly yeah uh and so doing that was incredibly special and it ended up being an amazing game chris posh hit a essentially buzzer beating three to buzzer beater yeah did you meet lebron yes but we almost didn't because i was so scared i i he's so i'm i i love lebron in a way

that's like certainly unhealthy no question about it and and as a result like i i the moment was like too big for me. I don't know how old I was, but I was too anxious and I was almost pulled the plug on the whole operation. I was like, I don't think I can do this. But we, but thankfully, I think actually dad talked sort of, we called dad, right? Yeah, I called dad. And he was like, guys, what are you talking about? You got to go meet him. Yeah. Right. Well, it was late at night. They were inviting us to go to a dinner with a bunch of the players, but it was late, you know, and I didn't know, well, should I take the boys and what's going on? And, you know, And we called dad and he said, Brad, and he said, oh, who cares what time is? Go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And in the moment, Charlie, did you rise to the occasion? Do you feel like you comported yourself when? Well, when the moment came? It's a good question. Yeah. Yes. I mean, I was enough to like, you know, words came out of my mouth.

I was like, hi, nice to meet you. So that's a way. Right. How old were you? I don't, it was, it was, you guys were teenagers, I think. Yeah, I think I was maybe in middle school. Yeah. Yeah, I was, uh, yeah, I was, uh, yeah, maybe. I was, I was, I was in college. You were Henry. Pretty sure. I, I, I, I remember we, we, we, I wasn't sitting next to LeBron once we got there and I was had, I was actually really relieved at that fact. Like, I had met him. I was, I know you were, but you can handle it. I can't, like, this is, you know. I couldn't handle it. It is like meeting God. Yeah, 100%.

Yeah. And at that point, right, fully he's a guy. Sorry, by the way, just quickly, we're talking about LeBron James. Yeah. Yes. King James.

I just took, my dad's from Pittsburgh, huge Steelers fans, I just took my nine and seven-year-old to their first Steelers game. That's awesome. It was the best, it was such a fantastic weekend. Josh was there as well.

And we met some of the players. but they have they're not at the place I think it was easier for them because they're not huge fans like they haven't built up a fandom that you had for LeBron at the time so they were just meeting larger people than they were used to.

There's a Northwestern Wildcat on the Steelers. Brett Scaronic. That's exactly right. Good, good buddy of mine. Oh, great. Yeah, I love them. Yeah, apparently he reps Notre Dame

but we said we still come up him as Northwestern. A hundred percent. Yeah. I will say, have been nothing to do with me and my children, but Julia, you and yours, I remember going and seeing you, Julia,

was it 2016 when you guys beat Texas at the Barclay Center? Yep, 2016. Jared Allen, Jared Allen was on that team. That was a great game. That was fantastic. And also, like, it happened for me when I was in college,

when football wasn't good, and then all of a sudden they were good. Like, my friend and I went to that game just because, oh my God, well, how can you miss Northwest Western when there in New York didn't go with a lot of expectation that Northwestern would win. It was so exciting. And that ability, it was so, we were so happy.

And then the extra, that was the extra bonus of them, we actually ran into you guys. So fun. That's a thing about coming from like a kind of, you know, historically losing program is it feels a lot better when you win. And was that the, that was the first tournament year? That was the tournament year. And that game, that Texas game ended up kind of being. the game where we realized that we were, like, actually good. We had our suspicions, like, you know, over the summer.

I was like, huh, I think our players are good. And then we beat Texas. And we're like, oh, wow. We actually could do this. Brian McIntosh had an amazing game that game in Neutral. I think Scotty played really well, too. Yeah. I had a, that year, Josh went to Salt Lake.

Yeah. Nice. For the first round. And I had a very young, I think my, Alex, who's pregnant with our second. And Ash was two. And it was just one of those things where, like, I couldn't make the argument why I had to, like, leave and go to Utah.

But then I was, like, so grumpy, like in a petulant, childish way. And she, at one point I was like, what's wrong with you? I'm like, everyone I know is in Salt Lake City. Never happens. And she's like, ugh. She was like, no.

She's like, oh, my God, grow up. But also, like, we didn't, you didn't know where your team was going to play when tickets went on sale. And Seth had bought, like, a block of tickets to, in like North Carolina, which is, you know, where some of the games were. And they were great games that he ended up having tickets for.

And then Northwestern won their first game. And Seth sold those tickets in North Carolina. And then for the four guys that were in Salt Lake, he's like, I'm going to buy you guys tickets for the next game, which was a great sort of turnover. I'm assuming you were there, Julia. You went out for that. You betcha.

Yeah. It must have been such an exciting time. Oh, it was unbelievable. I just, I'll never forget that goaltending Oh, I know. And then the coach getting thrown, you know,

and yeah, rightfully, so he was furious for good cause. How do you miss that? There was a goal tend through the rim. Yeah, and by the way, against Gonzaga, right? And Charlie, wasn't it true

that after the fact the National Ref Association made some comment about it was a missed call? Yeah, they do a thing where they, in the final X minutes of every game, they go through the calls. And then if there's any errors, they release a, you know, a document of the errors.

And that it was, they released it as an error. And I think even, like, the NCAA, like, issued an apology or something. And then you get, your team gets ref bucks that you can use it. That you can then spend. Yeah, but the concessions. I'm still living off the merchandise. The rough box, actually.

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Is that historically every year? Has there been an exception where you don't have the whole family together for any reason? No. No, we've had weird Thanksgivings a lot, or we're not in at home, because for me, when I was playing basketball, we always had to, they always had to come to me because I didn't get it off. And then we also went to, when Henry was shooting his show in London, we went to, we had Thanksgiving in London. Oh, yeah, I did. We, Josh and I used to live in Amsterdam and my parents would come over there for Thanksgiving. And I think Thanksgiving in a foreign country that doesn't celebrate.

Thanksgiving is outstanding. Yeah, it's cool. It's outstanding. It's just an opportunity for a great meal elsewhere. Yeah. Yeah. And then you also, nothing's closed,

so you, like, go out in the city is still like a cool city. Mm-hmm. Completely, yeah. Do you, when you do Thanksgiving at home, do you have other people over, or is it ever just the four of you? No, when it's at home,

we have extended family and friends, which is what we're having this year. How big can it get? I remember one year, it was 24 people. Gotcha. Does it get out of hand? That's too much. Yeah, remember we had a table outside and we had a table inside and we used the roundtable

for Granny and because remember and then we and then everybody we did rotating of seats rotating around. We had a sort of. That was too much. I just wanted to picture Granny alone at a very small round table. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it was more of a godfather situation. like each person would go off and have their conversation with grandma. Is this your side granny or Bradside Granny?

Bradside Granny, who's still alive, she's 97. Gotcha. And she has pretty acute dementia. So I think this year she will not be joining us. However, she's been joining us. I mean, she's with us every holiday in some form or another. Yeah. This year we're going to bring her some stuff.

But, yeah, this year it's not quite as many. I think we're about 13 this year, which is much more manageable. 24 is insane. 24 is too many. It's to believe me. You know, to be honest with you guys, and these guys, my boys know this. I'm not a huge fan of Thanksgiving. Just not.

Yeah. Okay. It's all the Thanksgiving, right? I just, I think. She's ungrateful. I am ungrateful. And I'll tell you why I'm ungrateful. You famously said maybe if I ever have something to be thankful for, I'll get this.

I'll understand what. I do. still wait. Tick-Tock, world. I had a, it's my favorite thing, it's my favorite holiday before. And I was saying to Alexi, I'm like, my wife, like, why don't you get more excited? She's like, because I do everything.

She's like, thank you. She goes, you love Thanksgiving because you, like, would go and sit on the couch and, like, watch football while your mom cooked. And now I'm the mom. And it's not a good holiday. It's an enormous amount of work for what is probably about a 15 to 20 minute meal.

And it's days and days of cooking. And, you know, you can, you know, and then, but anyway, whatever, I'm still happy everybody's coming because I like, I am actually, because I like all the shit beforehand. It's just that once the meal's here, it's like, eh, whatever. Does anyone, does anyone go too hard at Thanksgiving? Does anyone, like, really tie one on? We sort of, we famously had a bunch of neighbors over and some family one time and set up tables

and like there were there was way too much wine being drunk and some of it by a gal who certainly was not of age yet but was finding some half drunk glasses that she was polishing off but which adds an element of excitement to a holiday yeah i don't think has anybody misbehaved you guys not really i mean well the the the end of the everyone being sick story uh that one thanksgiving oh that's right We, everyone's sick. Everything's going terribly. All the food is getting messed up and everything. And then the one thing that made it through all that vitriol was a pumpkin pie. It came out perfect, like dead perfect. Comes out steaming, you know, just the most delicious, delectable looking pumpkin pie you've ever seen in your life gets put on the counter. And my little cousin comes over to it and he goes, oh, man, that looks good.

he sneezes all over the pie snot on the pie so that was the end of that you've never seen adults more mad at like a six year old they start booing it was insane do you remember the first time

vacation or at home like the first time you had drinks with both your sons, Julia, because obviously Henry has a head start. But the moment where you're like, we are now a family where the children, you know, are old enough to also have wine at the table. No. Do you remember the first time you got drunk with me? Yeah.

You immediately, I like that your tone immediately went back to your tone of during day drinking. I do remember that. That was insane. I always tell this story because it's like such a perfect Julia story that, because I say it to every time we do day drinking. I always say to the guests, I'm like, hey, just FYI. Like, you don't have to drink anything. You don't want to drink.

We can switch to water. And you were the only one. And you went, yeah, I know. Like the amount of you're like, have to drink this. I'm not trying to prove anything to you. I remember when I was in college once, oh, doing like meow or whatever. And there was some improv night. And before that night.

we had gone out and gotten drinks and I'd had a gin and tonic and I remember then getting on stage and realizing oh my god I mean I wasn't like drunk but I felt it and it was this terrifying feeling and I stood at the back of the stage and did not contribute um because I was terrified of you know it just felt like such a it was so risky and so when I did your your show, I can't believe you do that show. Yeah, we only do it twice here. We are very aware there's a tipping point where our audience collectively says, sir, you're 51.

You have children. Sir, you have children at home. No, do it more. That's when I love the day drinking show. Please do it more. Not to enable. I mean, it never, it never doesn't work, but it is, you know, there's a, there's a medical cost. There is a medical cost.

You know, there's one vacation story that I have to tell you guys about with these boys that is in our part of our family history. And it was around New Year's the Y2K year. So that would have made Charlie 3 and Henry 8. And is that right, guys? No. No, that's true. I can't do math. No, two and seven, because it would have been 1999 going into 2000.

Wow, Mom, Einstein over here. Good math. Thanks, honey. So, anyway, I don't know if people remember, but that year there was all of this like, you got to do something. It's New Year's. We're going into this whole new, into 2000, it's going to be unbelievable. And so we opted sort of to not do a whole hullabaloo that for New Year's. and we went, we were skiing, and some friends had invited us over to their house for a New Year's party, and we decided because of the importance of this particular date, we were going to bring the boys and let them stay up late.

And so we got to their house and we're having a nice time, and it gets to be about 11 o'clock, and it's become quite evident that each of the boys has got to go to bed. It is way too late for a 2-year-old and a 7-year-old to be. up. So I say to Brad, we've got to get out of here. I know staying up till midnight, but we just can't do it. It's ridiculous. So Henry was disappointed. We put him into the car, but the kids are wigged, okay, wigged, tired, wigged out. We put them both into the car. Charlie's in the car seat. We're driving back to this hotel. It's snowing like crazy and it's dark. And Henry says to Brad, Daddy, do you believe in the abominable snowman?

Understand, everybody's tired. And Brad says, no, I don't, honey. And anyone who just believe in the abominable snowman is crazy. And Henry goes, Don't, well, I believe in the abominable snowman, Daddy. And that means you think I'm crazy. I'm going to kill you. He starts screaming.

At which point, Charlie in the car seat, starts to scream hysterically, Don't kill my daddy! And they are going, but I mean screaming, like he really thought his seven-year-old brother was going to kill his own father. And they are screaming hysterically, and it is the worst New Year's of our life. And I become, it is so outrageous that I become hysterical laughing. And then the kids see me laughing, and they get more. more crying, and Brad is like, Jules, shut up! Shut up!

Anyway, that was our, that was New Year's. Oh, God. Y2K. That's my story. Thank God he didn't kill Brad, because just telling the story of why. You know, it's never, look, yeah, you know, patricide, I believe, I never called for, but just because of the aboundable snowman. It's tough. I know.

You really would have to get a real good lawyer. You'd really need the lawyer what wears the cowboy. hat, right? By the way, a different time, thanks to YouTube. But I remember a couple years ago, our kids wanted to stay up until New Year's, and I'm like, they're never going to make it. And Alexi was like, they're not going to make it. And then she just went on YouTube and played the previous years, like put on YouTube TV

and played the ball dropping at like 8.45. And I was like, I'm married to the smartest woman. Wow. That's really smart. That is stone cold genius. Yeah, stone cultivation. She's like, we all you guys made it. We've been in Seth's wife's from New Mexico and there are some casinos nearby and they celebrate noon years Eve at noon and if you're in the casino at noon they like pass out champagne and there's a whole to do and so we've definitely popped down for noon years Eve.

It's really cool because then the cool thing is the rest of the day you smell like cigarettes. Perfect. They're still smoking in there. Yeah, you don't want to be in an Albuquerque casino on noon years east. I'm just going to say. You don't? Huh. I know, it's shocking.

This has been so lovely to talk to you guys. But we do, before you go, Josh is going to ask you all our speed round questions, and you all have to answer every question. Awesome. Before you do, I'm taking a family photo. Everybody's smile. Take it with your phone. I am, honey. Okay, good, good.

Also, I'm going to just ask, because you guys are straight talkers, tacky or cool that I'm wearing a sweatshirt from my own show. Super, honestly cool. Because, because... I don't love it. All right. You know, when I was seven years old and we were in, we were in Rome staying at some hotel, and Ed Sullivan was staying there at the same time, and didn't he come down to the pool wearing a hat that said Ed Sullivan?

Oh. I wouldn't do it in public. I wouldn't do it in public, but still. Well, you're in public right now. That's true. He's on Zoom for a thing that's being taped to be put out into the world. You got me dead to rights. in public. I take it back. Me and Ed Sullivan are

the same. I won't name names, but I once saw it on Abbott Kinney in L.A. I saw an NBA player one time wearing a shirt with his face on it. Wow. Which I thought was a super interesting choice.

I kind of loved it. I kind of love it too, but can't you tell us who it was? No, I don't want to. I don't know why, but I don't want to. Yeah. All right. I'm scared. Just tell us who was on the shirt. Yeah, okay. Daniel or Russell. Oh, you love Russ.

I was once at a party with someone related to Ernest Hemingway somehow, and we're all chatting and someone's talking, going through something in their lives, you know, extolling some issue they were having. And this person who was related to Ernest Hemingway goes, oh, wow, that's, you know, you should check out this book. It's called The Sun Also Rises. That's awesome. Yeah, and she had already said that she was related to, she was, like, recommending her, you know, whatever he was.

Like, Grandfather's book or something. Yeah. Like, yeah, no, we know this on also, right? Yeah, I mean, obviously, not as well as me because I'm related to him, but a lot. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Anyway. All right. All right, here we go.

Speed round. You can only pick one of these. Is your ideal vacation, relaxing, adventurous or educational? Relaxing. adventurous for me too what is what is your favorite means of transportation car

what plane feet feet feet oh yeah feet I changed mine to feet I changed mine to feet great call mom got you okay thanks honey if you could take a vacation with any family alive or dead

real or fictional other than your own family what family would you like to take a vacation with coach Taylor Friday night lights Perfect answer. Nice, Charlie. Henry, I know who you're going to say. Yeah, I think I do too. What, the...

The Hemingway's. The Simms. Yeah, the... Maybe. I don't know. Your answer. The Griffins. The Griffins. Al-Zag.

Oh, wait. Family guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm going to say The Simpsons. Okay, great. Nightmare vacation. I know, I'm just trying to be clever. All right.

This one could get sticky with three family members here. If you had to be stranded on a desert island with one member of your family, who would it be? No offense, Mom. I'm going Henry. Henry? Yeah. I'm going Charlie, Mom's side. You know what I'm going with?

My sister, Lauren, so fuck you guys. All right. Julie, you're from New York City. If you had to pitch New York City to get more families to come visit, how would you do it? Central Park. Yeah. There's something there for everyone. True.

And then boys, you're both L.A. You're both from Los Angeles. If you had to pitch Los Angeles to get more families to come visit, how would you do it? Henry first. Okay. Um, I would say, uh, the, the, the, the, the, believely's believe it or not, Wax Museum. Yeah, we have, we have that. All right, Charlie, can you, can you beat that?

Um, my Zoom cut out for a second, but I would say Ripley's believe it or not. Good choice. Yeah. Good choice, Tar. What was your answer, Henry? Dude, it was actually Ripley's believer or not. Oh. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean. Can you believe it? when is the last time either of you has been to the Ripley's Believe it or not museum? We went this morning

this morning Yes You got right back from Indonesia You were like I got to get And we actually do Have to get out

We have a heart out Because we're going back Yeah You guys are the Norm Peterson Of Ripley's believe or not Hey Charlie And then Seth has

Our final questions Have you guys been to the Grand Canyon? Yes we have Was it It's worth it. Yes. Oh, yeah.

Big time. That was one of, we, yeah, we went, that was probably, that's a, that's a top tier, top three, probably, family trip ever for us was we did, we did river rafting down the Grand Canyon. How many, was it a multiple day trip? Yeah. Week. It was a week, a week, yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Yeah. Fantastic. We did the top half the canyon and, or the river. And it's a trip that we would want to go back to, by the way. Uh-huh. It was very, a resounding. of resounding support. Can I redo my pitch

for New York? Yeah, please. Yeah, sure. Ripley's believed it or not, Wax Museum, New York? No, there isn't one there. Otherwise, of course, I would use that. There is less dog shit

now than there was when I was little. I think that's a selling point. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. I once had David Byrne on the show and I was like, tell me about, is New York in the late 70s,

early 80s, as cool as I wanted to be? And the one thing he said, he said, it was awesome, but it smelled, there was so much dog shit. Oh. Well, can you believe that people didn't pick up their dog shit? It's crazy. I can't believe any time it ever happens, and it happens around where I live all the time.

And my wife just, like, is furious and wants to set up cameras everywhere. And I'm kind of with her. It's sort of appalling. But, I mean, it's kind of like people smoking and then just throwing their cigarette butts on the ground. That I like. Oh, you do?

Yeah. I like when they can throw it with their aims good enough They can make it land in the dog shit Yep Like it sticks up so the flames goes still The smoke's coming up Yeah so it looks like a cupcake with a birthday candle That's what the kids

It's a teen thing It's called cupcakein Where you try to throw a lit cigarette Into a dog shit And then with my cousin's sneeze on it too I know a cousin who could give a good sneeze To that cupcake Thank you guys

Check out season four of Wiser than me, and gentlemen, it was great to see you both. This was just wonderful. Thanks, guys. It was really fun to talk to you. Hope it edits together, good. Oh, yeah.

There's no edits, no edits. Oh, sorry. Yeah. I'm sorry for that. All right, well, sorry. Okay. All right, go cats. Go cats, baby.

Snowman, Snowman, Snowman, Snowman, Snowman, Snowman, Snowman, Snowman, Snowman, Snowman. Went to Africa for fun, told the boys they couldn't run, because they got big cats. thought about that went to a rain forest with tarantlers where fish swim up your urethras better than thanksgiving in dc when a plague descended on their family oh it knocked them down just like dominoes everyone who's sick of uncles and nans the three-year-old cousin shit their pants, so only bright spot was the pumpkin pan. It was just pristine, perfect, and hot, until a sneeze covered in wist not know.

If you want bad, let's talk New Year's when the boys were really young. Was the Y2K year With the total lack of cheer Julia saw that it was clear Had to get these boys out of here Do you believe in the abominable snowman? Brad said I don't

And if you do Then you have probably gone to Probably gone cuckoo bro And Ray said I do so that means You think I'm crazy which I can't stand So now I gotta kill you dad Oh That made little Charlie cry

He thrashed and kicked in his car seat Screaming, don't kill Daddy, oh! For some reason, Julia just laughed. A case of giggled she had caught. Brad said stop, but she could not know.