Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers - MIKE BIRBIGLIA Took a Family Photo with a Wolf

Episode Date: January 23, 2024

Seth and Josh are so excited to welcome Mike Birbiglia to the pod! Mike tells them so many good stories, from an unforgettable house party his parents (almost) never found out about, to an eventful trip where his father threatened they wouldn’t have Christmas, and so much more! Go to usbank.com/altitudego to learn more about how you can earn 20,000 bonus points, worth $200, if you spend $1,000 in the first 90 days of opening your account. Eat out or eat in, with the U.S. Bank Altitude® Go Visa Signature® Card. Limited time offer. The creditor and issuer of this card is U.S. Bank National Association, pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. Some restrictions may apply. Learn about the planning effect at fidelity.com/planning effect Get 15% off OneSkin with the code TRIPS at https://www.oneskin.co/  #oneskinpod HelloFresh.com/tripsfree and use code tripsfree for FREE breakfast for life! To submit your story go to: www.speakpipe.com/familytripspod 

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to help you make the right decisions to best fit your life ahead. We'll see you next time. Services by Fidelity Brokerage Services, LLC. Hi, Pashi. Hi, Sufi. So this is very fitting to open this week's episode this way. You are currently by yourself skiing. Yeah. Well, no, I'm going somewhere here. Now you're by yourself skiing. You have a few technical issues. If it feels a little different to anybody, that's because Josh is on a mountain, which are historically not the best places for Wi-Fi, right? Yeah. I mean, I will say before I even came up here, I called and I was like, you guys have very good Wi-Fi, right? Like, I can't even take this trip if you don't have good Wi-Fi. And they said, yes, we've got the whole mountain has Wi-Fi. Even on the mountain,

you have Wi-Fi. And I was like, great. And came on up. Now, I think the difference here between you and I, and despite having the same childhood where we diverged, I know in my bones that the people in the ski industry are liars. They're liars and frauds. Here's what I'm getting at. So you went skiing by yourself. Again, you love to ski.

Love it. Love it so much. I do not care for it, but I'm really proud of my boys because while you were living it up on your West Coast skiing, it was a bitterly cold Northeastern weekend. And the dudes, my dudes had ski lessons on Sunday. And it was one of those days where I just kept waiting for it, like getting an email from the mountain saying, we can't do this to kids. We decided to shut down the ski school for the day. And also my kids are really good at bitching and moaning, but I think they didn't know that it was even possible for it to be too cold for it to get canceled or else I think they would have used that as their, you know, line of complaint. Yeah, of course. It's a great line.

You used to use it all the time when you were a kid. Absolutely. I wanted to use it here, but I knew I should also note one of the reasons why I couldn't hit the eject button on this is Alexi was out of town. It couldn't be the first time my wife goes out of town. I let my kids puss out because it's too cold to ski. Right, right, right, right, right. Get him to ski school and classic dad who doesn't know jack shit about his kids' schedule or lives. Ash and I go over to the general area of the ski school,

and there's a dude with a clipboard and i over i'm like hey yeah my son ash has got a ski i don't know what group he's in and the dude looked at me his heart broke because it meant he had to take his glove off again to flip the pages oh yeah and it was that kind of cold where even a ski professional was sad to take a glove off yeah i know I know what that's like. It's awful. That hand doesn't get warm again as soon as you put it back in the glove. It could be a 15 minute process before you get back to 100%. Wind was whipping, blowing his little clipboard paper around. And then he finds ash and I go, all right. And Axel and I are so cold. We got a bolt. And I'm also not trying to show Ash I'm dropping him off,

and I'm doing it fast because it's inhuman to be outside. So I'm like, all right, bye. And he's like, bye. I go back to the lodge. Axel's class starts half hour later. I get him. He also agrees to go. I can't believe it.

And now I'm just waiting in the lodge for the announcement of, hey, if there's a Mr. Myers here, your kids are out. And my dudes did it. Yeah. And there were kids coming in all day. They were making announcements and parents were going to sort of the foot of the lodge and coming back with kids. By the way, no parent was mad. No parent was like, well, you well you gotta be tougher everybody accepted this was too much to ask of a kid and then my boys came in and they just were great and they both had a good time that's great yeah were you just like sleeping in a corner of the lodge no i mean here's what

happened to me a couple things one alexi bought me new heated gloves charged them all night very happy about it you know yeah like a little on and off button and charged them plugged them in and then hit the button nothing happened and a friend of mine was in the lodge and he said have you googled the uh instructions on the glove and i said i gotta think you hit the on button and they turn on. It's a fair assumption. Like I appreciate that we all want to dig in, but I think I got bummed gloves. So that's one thing, the gloves. But I did feel very strongly that if my kids still wanted to ski,

I wanted to be ski ready. So I was sitting in a lodge chatting with some people and then about 15 minutes before axle i decided i'm gonna go get ready to go put on my boots get my skis they're on the car now yeah here's where i have to compliment you as a brother you have known historically what's my least favorite part about skiing like the equipment the boots probably the boots i think i have bad feet for ski boots yeah and i have always really hated putting my boots on you got me these really good i went to a store they took a measurement of my feet in foam they come with heaters surefoot not i mean not not a sponsor but surefoot well they're not going to want to be a sponsor by the

end of this so oh maybe we'll even beep it okay look i Look, I want to stress, I don't think surefoot's the problem here. I think it's my feet. Yeah, I'm still rocking my surefoots, I'll say. Yes. And by the way, the staff at surefoot treated me very kindly. So it's all very positive, save for this fact. I go out. Again, I've been heating my boots.

I'm doing everything right. And I think it might be psychological. I feel like when I try to put my foot into a ski boot my bones and my feet are made of the same material as a faberge egg and i just feel like my whole foot is gonna break like a ice sculpture right and i can't do it it just i i freak out yeah so i didn't put my boots on. And then I was driving the kids home, and Ash was asking me if I was cold when I was skiing. And I sort of gave a lot of non-answers because I was too embarrassed. And finally, I had to say, I don't know. I didn't actually ski.

I couldn't get my boots on. I got sad. Well, maybe we'll have a little lesson, a little boot on and off lesson next time i come out there i would love a lesson and then i should also say the only thing they talk about the entire drive to skiing it's about half an hour and the entire drive home which is half an hour is there's a place we stop to get hot cocoa at the end of it that also has an old school gumball machine. And it's all they talk about is the gumball machine and how many pieces do they get per coin?

And is there any way to try to ask for certain colors? And it's just, you know, you know the kind of gum I'm talking about. It's the worst gum in the world. Garbage. Garbage gum. Garbage gum. And they talk about gum for so much. And I have reached this point, and I don't think any

parenting book would tell you this is a good path forward, where I say things like, I don't want to talk about gum anymore. Gum is boring. And I don't think that's... As a conversation piece, it is. You're not wrong. But what Alexi would say, and again, I hope that at this point all our listeners have picked up that she's better at being a parent. She would say, what you have to do is you have to steer it to a new topic. If they want to talk about gum, you can't just say, shut up. I don't want to talk about gum. You have to say, what was your teacher's name?

Who were in your class? And so that's what I have. I'm trying to refocus myself to have better conversations as opposed to my kids, as opposed to just letting them choose a topic. And when I think it's boring, tell them to just be quiet. Yeah. I mean, in your defense, I will say, what's your teacher's name? To me, that's even more boring.

Yeah. I'd rather talk about gum than like, who's in your class? Yawn. Yeah. Mackenzie recently bought a pack of Hubba Bubba and she went upstairs or she went outside

for like a minute and came back in and our dog Woody was chewing two pieces of Hubba Bubba. Great. Great. He was all about it.

Real distinct smell on that Hubba Bubba. Do you have an impulse by, say, at a grocery store checkout where it is maybe a candy from your past, like Hubba Bubba, where you think, yeah, I'm going to get it? No. I mean, like in the old days, it would be a Snickers bar.

And I was always a sucker for those pizzeria pretzel combos. Oh, those are really good. Yeah. Yeah. I, every now and then, will just get a thing of orange Tic Tacs and eat the whole thing. Oh yeah. I can see you doing that because also you don't like leftovers. I don't. So you might as well eat them all at once. It's also, you just eat as a parent, you just start eating like a, the way a junkie shoots up where you just, I don't want anybody to know I had the Tic Tacs. Right. It's a real leave no trace

situation. Yeah. How was your skiing day alone? I hurt myself. No, really? I hurt myself again. God, I buried the lead. I put a pole into the ground. I was trying these new skis and my pole jammed into my rib. And I don't even know if i can ski today i gotta figure it out i'm gonna go out on the mountain and give it a go but also with my uh wi-fi situation up here uh i think i have to get home tonight anyhow because we're recording again tomorrow and i can't uh i can't trust this mountain plus it hurt me again there's no almost no professional skiers or professional podcasters due to the wi-Fi issue. Yeah. Although that's probably not.

I bet a bunch of them have podcasts. Yeah. No, I'm sure they do. I mean, at this point, who doesn't? And I bet they don't get the kind of injury I just got. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jamming themselves in the rib with their own pole. I think the other thing about poles, I'm just going to say briefly,

I forget my own poles every week. And so I have to go rent poles. And the nice thing about the place where you rent poles, they're just like, just take the poles and just bring the poles back. It's really nice how little they value the poles. I don't even have to fill out paperwork. I love that mountain. I love that place where you guys ski.

It's very friendly. You know, it's not the biggest mountain in the world, but it's got a good vibe and a decent lodge. I don't have much more to say about it than that, other than it just dawned on me that I have to go back next weekend, and I got a little sad. but it's got a good vibe and a decent lodge. I don't have much more to say about it than that. Other than I just dawned on me that I have to go back next weekend and I got a little sad. But it's great. All right. We have our friend Mike Birbiglia on the podcast today. What a champ. He really is a champ. He's one of, I would say, one of our greatest living storytellers. And so we were very lucky to have him join us. Easily. Yeah. No exaggeration. That's

the truth. Yeah. Yeah. That's, you're right.ily. Yeah, no exaggeration. That's the truth. Yeah, yeah, you're right. I should have said no exaggeration. Yeah, we would defend that in court. I would take it to court. I would say, give this man a yarn to spin, and he will spin it. Yeah. If you don't believe us, watch any of his specials. Yeah.

He's good. All four of the Meyers across the board. Hillary and Larry, big fans as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I should say real quick, you know, the Ponkas, mom and dad, were going to join us this weekend. Alexi was in our town. My parents were going to come in and support our parents. Sorry, to take ownership.

And dad got a chest cold and couldn't make it. And Axel and Ash were super upset. Ash was upset in a sweet way of we miss you. And Axel was upset in a lousy way, which is you were giving me our Christmas presents, and how am I supposed to wait another day? That kid loves presents. He does love presents. Yeah. All right, so now we're going to be joined by our good friend Mike Birbiglia.

But first, before that, here's another good friend of ours, Jeff Tweedy. Ooh! Ooh! Family trips with the Myers brothers Family trips with the Myers brothers Here we go Hey! Hey there! Hey. Hey there. Look at you.

How are you? It's so on brand that you have. This is all I am. I'm a full-time podcaster. I'm on a podcast 18 hours out of 24 hours in a day, Seth. Now, we've done, again, now that we're hosting podcasts, I've also dipped my toe in being a guest on a podcast. Oh, yeah.

Do you feel so much better about being a guest now that you host one? Oh, yeah. It feels so much easier, right? Oh, yeah. I mean, I think one of the things I've learned about the whole thing is to actually bring something. Oh, okay. I think so well yeah yeah

okay bring something and in this case i got a lot of family memories great that's good i would have hoped i had a lot of confidence about this episode like one i find you one of the easiest people in the world to talk to two you're one of our nation's great storytellers. Oh, wow. Three, you often share, in very funny ways, personal history. I mean, if you eat shit on this. Yeah, no, no. No, this could be the beginning of the end. Yeah. Do you think you might beat yourself up after this

because you haven't prepared enough? Because you're so... Oh, my God, absolutely. I'm going to spend the rest of my day feeling down. And that's going to be hard because you'll be doing a lot of podcasts the rest of the day as well. So you'll have to compartmentalize how badly this one has gone. But Seth, what's funny about you doing this to me is that I think that you are, and maybe Josh can tell me if this is true or not,

I find you to be an open book and then a closed book. I think intermittently, I feel like you have an open book, Seth Meyers version, and then you have a closed book, Seth Meyers version. And it's a very good book. It's a very good book. It's a very good book. Yeah. Do you think he goes closed book where it's just like oh hey and let me tell you this real quick like is it a closed book that you get to peek peek under the cover and he'll still tell you because he knows you or well i think the dichotomy of seth is that he is simultaneously this like wild, like open-minded artist creative, but then there's the other side of you, which is like, you're like an executive.

You like produce your talk show and like you were a head writer for SNL. These jobs are hard. So you have to be a little bit intense. And so I think that's part of you. I do feel like SNL was very intense but I do think when I started my own talk show I realized that intensity was not particularly helpful

and most of my intensity now I reserve for when I'm writing my own material for stand-up. I think anyone who is a stand-up is by design as evidenced by the entire wall of note cards behind you, you're sort of the CEO of your standup, right? Yeah, it's true. And so that is the most executive because there's no help by design, right? Yeah. I think, you know, the most fun standup is the stuff that is completely born of your own thought process so i remember i was just telling someone this the time that we were both on a plane this counts as a trip josh josh gets

real picked we were both on a plane famously famously used for trips and we were both going to seattle and we were both working oh my god you know You know what I mean? And I remember. I know this. Yeah, yeah. I forgot this happened, but yeah. I was just telling someone I was about to start watching a movie on the plane and I saw how much you were working.

I worked the whole flight. No, but it is. It's like one of those stories where like a young basketball player signs with the Bulls and they're like, and then, you know, Jordan was the last to leave. And so I just canceled my dinner plans. And that's how I felt because I just remember I was like, I'm not going to watch a movie. I also this is also it counts because it's family, Josh. But we were just talking before you jumped on last year, right around this time. Josh, myself and my mom went to see Old Man in the Pool.

And I also remember that Mike Schur, our good friend Mike Schur was there. And I believe he had one of one, if not both of his kids with us. And I remember thinking this is right. Yeah. Both kids and his wife, JJ was there. And I was like, oh, this is really speaks to what I think is wonderful about you, which is you have people your generation, which are Mike and I. And then you have our parents and our children. And that is a really nice thing. and that is a really nice thing and has that been something you have recognized more lately or has that always been the sense that if you go to see one of your shows there's an understanding like

this really will uh be nice for anyone in your family it's funny because with this show like my last special was called the new one it was all about like having a child even though i never wanted to have a child and and all the reasons why no one should have children and why i was right about that and then ultimately why i was wrong about that and then in this show is really about life and death and i think what happened is with this show opened itself up incidentally to people like you're saying like mike schur's kids who were like 12 14 because it's just about being alive like it's just like this the most relatable thing and i think i think that accidentally i didn't mean for it to be like this kind of you know big tent comedy show where it's like oh we're gonna everybody's gonna grasp this

or and they can watch it with their kids but i think incidentally that's what it did i like a thing that it does. And the special is the old man in the pool. It's available to watch on Netflix. It has one of my favorite jokes you've ever done. Oh, wow. I think I told you after I saw it. There's a joke about the bathroom scale. Sorry, just the scale in doctor's offices. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to give it away. But I will just say that it's a thing you do in your acts that I love. They have this wonderful thread to them. There's big ideas, there's little ideas. And then there's these really nice, super stupid, silly bits that could work in a five minute set at a comedy club, like independent of anything else. That is by the way, and I'm doing,

I'm basically prepping my next tour right now, which is called Please Stop the Ride. And I'm prepping it at, like you're saying, at the Comedy Cellar in New York, where I do five-minute chunks of brand new stuff. And I try to essentially have the segments of what will end up being a long-form 70-minute show hold up in a comedy club atmosphere where people have no idea who you are they don't know what your tone is so they don't know what your voice is they're not locked into what your narrative is your character and all this stuff and i want to be able to kill with those people because i feel like it's like that idea of like in a great movie i'm trying to think of a movie i watched recently like i re-watched heartburn recently the mike nich. And like, if you walk into a room when someone has heartburn on,

like it's just captivating. It's like Nicholson, it's Meryl Streep. It feels very real. You immediately know they're in a marriage. You know that it's challenging. You do have to say, oh, it's heartburn because people are like, what is this movie? You have to say it's heartburn.

But even then, like, I think the best movies can break apart into five minute increments and actually you could show them any five minutes and it would still be quite good. I think the problem with a lot of movies is actually they don't pass that test. Yeah, my fiance and I have been like, we were packing and getting ready for

something and started watching Lost in Translation. And then like we had 20 minutes before we were going to bed and we're just watching it in chunks. And that movie is very much like that as well. It's just like any chunk is, oh, so satisfying. Lost in Translation is another one. You can watch any five minutes and it's just Bill and Scarlett. I know neither of them. I call them by their first names. My friends, Bill and Scarlett. Your friends. When Billy and Scar on screen together, it's fireworks.

And no, it really is like, there's a degree to which when people roll camera on a very simple scenario and they play it super real like those are great actors it's just interesting to watch heartburn is the same thing it's like nicholson and meryl streep just in a marriage it's like not that much is happening it's very incremental over the course of the movie even the graduate it's like that much happens it's interesting to watch Justin Hoffman at that age kind of experience this kind of figuring out what the hell is the rest of his life going to be.

I bet a lot of classic movies have very short entries under their plots in Wikipedia. Yes, totally. Two paragraphs because really not that much happened. Well, it's funny. Like, I always use this Spielberg thing, which is like the best movies can be described in like 25 words like when someone's pitching him a movie if it's 25 words it's like it kind of has to be for him to be interested in it and i always think about that in relation to movies like oh yeah i always think about that with my shows the old man in the pool it's like i mean i haven't done this in a while, but it's like, it's about a guy who goes to the doctor and he fails the pulmonary test.

And it sends him down a spiral of reconsidering his own life, his own mortality, his relationships with everyone he loves. You're at 45 words. You're at 45 words. Yeah. It was 40. After the edit, after the edit, it's going to cut down to 25 words. Okay. Okay.

You're going to edit your answer for the podcast. No, I'm going to put it in the notes. I'm going to put it, I'm going to send you an email. I'm going to put it in the notes. I'll have you read it back. Uh-huh.

Okay. Yeah. No, I agree. No, it's hard. It's a hard, hard exercise.

But anyway, I'm, I'm, I'm filibustering. I'm filibustering from the the main point which is family trips the main point was show business can be saved if we just show chunks of movies right that's the i think that's what you're starting a new streamer called chunks and it's just you just turn it on and it's just five minute chunks

one after the other you know it's another another simple turn it on and it's just five minute chunks one after the other you know it's another another simple one four weddings and a funeral yeah it's hugh grant going to four weddings it's a funeral yeah yeah there you go well the podcast is called family trips guys yes i knew it was coming well yeah you had to i'm looking at my little recording box we've been going for almost 14 minutes here. Yeah, I know. But remember, I mentioned airplanes, and I mentioned that our family went to see Mike's show. So I think that it hasn't been completely barren 13 minutes.

Well, the airplane was you guys going to work, so decidedly not a family trip. So anyhow, Mike, you are the youngest of four? Youngest of four, yep. So Gina, Patty, Joe, and me. And your parents were, your dad was a doctor, is a doctor? My dad was a doctor. My mom was a nurse.

We grew up in Central Mass, which is a part of Massachusetts that I'm not, I'm not sure why it exists exactly, but it does. And that's where I grew up. You know what? Massachusetts does not work like a great movie where all the chunks independently. Our mother is from the coast. My fiance is from Western Mass. And yeah, I don't know if we've ever stopped in the middle.

I mean, that's a bit of a humble brag, Josh. Well, just saying. I don't know if we've ever stopped in the middle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Josh just established himself as a coastal elite, but just... Coastal elite. Coasts of Massachusetts. Massachusetts coastal elite.

Yeah. Yeah, I've done just the sides of Massachusetts. Yeah. I like the foothills of the Berkshires, and then I love Marblehead. What are the age gaps with you, the three, and yourself? My sister Gina is 11 years older than me, which means that she was kind of my mom also. Yeah. It's got a little bit of a little house on the prairie

kind of thing going on. Everyone kind of raising one another. Yeah, it was healthy. I mean, if it weren't, honestly, older siblings, I think, are a super cool thing to have because they introduce you to cool stuff. Mm-hmm.

So, like, when I was a kid in the 80s, I was listening to like Simon and Garfunkel and Michael Jackson and like the Beatles and like all this stuff that was just cool and interesting. I don't think I would have if my sisters weren't like in high school when I was like a little kid. So that was like a huge thing. But they used to also torture me,

which is to say that like Michael Jackson in the 80s, I think Seth and I are the same age. I think maybe Josh and I are close to the same age. I'm 45. 47. Yeah, so I'm almost 50. I might be 50 by the time this airs. Real.

For real. Wow. Yeah, true. It's weeks away. It's weeks away. Wow, wow wow so you remember in the 80s and there's no one bigger than michael jackson like there's almost not a quantifiable i mean taylor swift is the closest we come to yeah it would be really funny right now if i tried to put you on the wrong side of history and i'm like i don't i think only a lot of us the radar was up

we knew something was off. No. Yeah, it was like you couldn't wrap your arms around how big a thing Michael Jackson was. Weird Al was a huge thing because he parodied Michael Jackson songs. Rami Youssef had the funniest joke about how big Michael Jackson was, which is people always go like, where were the parents with the kids? Where were the parents with the kids where were the parents and he's like you gotta understand it wasn't 1990s michael jackson we're dealing with here we're talking about 1980s michael jackson we're talking about lebron now yeah we're talking about if somebody's like hey we're gonna have your kids over to LeBron's basketball court and we're just going to shoot some hoops, you'd be like, oh, LeBron?

Yeah, absolutely. Well, because part of it, too, is LeBron wouldn't risk everything. No! Come on! LeBron! We all know LeBron! Here's how big he is. And tell me if this rings true for you, Mike.

My first thought when I hear Pepsi is that his hair caught on fire doing that Pepsi commercial. Do you remember that? Yeah, I think of it all the time. His hair caught on fire. Yeah. Do you remember this from childhood in the 80s? There was a prominent rumor

that Michael Jackson and his sister Janet Jackson were the same person. Oh, I don't remember that. Yeah. There was a big, like, you'd talk to people, or I would talk to people at school, and they would go, have you ever seen them together? And I would just go, I guess not.

Yeah. It's funny to think how much better life would be for Michael, may he rest in peace, if that rumor had been the true one. He might well, he effectively would have janet it would be hitchcockian right hitchcockian would be such a better outcome for how people talk about oh i can see in josh's uh eyes we're not talking about family okay okay yeah we're not i mean okay so so what here's what i'll say about the this episode is going to be called family trips colon a reflection on michael jackson okay so the reason why i bring up michael jackson is that Here's what I'll say about the- This episode is going to be called Family Trips, colon,

a reflection on Michael Jackson. Okay, so the reason why I bring up Michael Jackson is that when my sister's friends would come over, they would say to me, Mike, and I was like six, and they were like, Mike, how does Michael Jackson dance? Oh, perfect. And I would go full Michael Jackson.

Great. I'm not exaggerating. I do 35 to 40 minutes of Michael Jackson dancing. They would laugh the entire time. It was not a joke. I was not seeking laughter. control of your body. And a six-year-old dancing is never going to look like, oh, those are sharp skills that have been honed. You're like Gumby, but looser. I also want to stress, though, I'm not sitting here thinking, by the time Mike was 12, you couldn't tell. Whose limbs of a six-year-old were the least of Birbiglia's problems when he was doing michael jackson i had turned a corner by 12 and i was touring the country as a michael jackson

impersonator right well you're touring central mass which was actually perfectly fine it was the standard was there hey so i'll talk about that older thing because i do remember going over to friends houses who had older sisters and that desperate attention there was nothing sexualized about it was just the idea of older girls actually being interested enough to pay attention to you do you feel like you had that your whole life or did you get used to it because you had two in your own home I think that when you have a dinner table of six people and you're this small and you're trying to connect with people who are full-size, full-grown people, I feel like I just learned to be, it makes you a storyteller. It's like you have to have a refined story quickly to get people's attention. And I think that that's sort of how it ended up being. Like, I remember there was one time when I was really young where I was in the kitchen and I think I was trying to get everyone's attention. I stood up on a high chair. I stood up on it and I was like,

hey, I have something to say. And I literally, the high chair went over, landed on my head and everyone's like, he's fine. So like an hour later, my mom is putting me to bed and she's rubbing her hands through my head. And she takes out her hand and there's blood on her hand. And she's like, okay, let's have my dad take a look at this. They take a look at my head. There's a big hole in my head they rushed me to the hospital i ended up with like 20 stitches in my head and that's how i ended

up being a comedian it's a cliche people go like oh you're comedian would you fall on your head i'm like yeah i actually did yeah but also you were a little bit of a comedian beforehand and you were like even before that i was trying to get their attention. So I had half of it. Hey, we're going to take a quick break and hear from some of our sponsors. Support for Family Trips comes from OneSkin. You guys, the holidays are over. It's time for us to take a long look in the mirror and see what we can do to improve ourselves as we head into 2024.

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Josh, posh. Yeah. Peptide. Peptide might be a good new nickname for you I might use. Let me tell you something, peptide. I just turned 50. My cells are feeling every second of those first 50 years. This is the time for me to get a little OS1

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That's 15% off OneSkin.co with code TRIPS. After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you new year, healthier them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you New Year healthier skin. That's One Skin. Support for family trips comes from Fidelity.

If you're like me, you're not looking to work forever. So that means you need to start planning for retirement, which might seem daunting. But with Fidelity, it's easy to start planning for retirement. Fidelity helps you envision your future while focusing on both your short and long-term goals. Fidelity will help you look at your full financial picture and help you create a plan to save effectively. Thank you. the planning effect. And you can learn more about it at fidelity.com slash planning effect. Investment involves risk, including risk of loss. Advisory services provided by Fidelity Personal and Workplace Advisors LLC for a fee. Brokerage services by Fidelity Brokerage Services LLC. I like, by the way, that both of your parents are in the medical field. And I would guess that they never say when they're teaching you how to be a nursery doctor, if your kid falls, wait an hour before. Yeah, wait an hour.

It's the wait an hour rule. It's the wait an hour. Did you always eat at the table? Did the six of you always eat dinner around a table? Yeah. Although it's funny because it was a different time. It's funny because it was a different time. It was, I've been doing this joke lately on stage where I go,

I go, my daughter's eight years old and, which is amazing. But when, you know, I know when she's 15, she's just going to be like, my dad is garbage, you know? And I'm fine with that. But I'm resentful of my dad because he didn't have to deal with that like we said it but it was the 80s nobody listened to children you know i'd be like my dad's garbage he'd be like is someone talking you know what i mean and i'd be like am i talking and then you know and that's how i became a comedian but like now in modern times it's like we really listen to children which is great but so when she's 15 she's gonna be like my dad is garbage and i'm gonna be like she's so brave how can i amplify her voice how

can i support her platform i think about that all the time about like how different my relationship is with my daughter and my dad's relationship with me and and and my brother and sisters it's just it's worlds different he just wasn't to answer josh's questions like did you go where you guys around the dinner table like that i mean not that often like my dad didn't come home until like he like left early home after bed a lot of times like i just didn't see him like all that much yeah I'm like, I'm literally now as an adult, like going, you know, it's like I'm going to tennis with Una. I'm going to gymnastics and ballet. And I'm like, wow, my parents really didn't go to my things.

Yeah. I mean, part of it is that New York City thing where just so much more time intensive to get your kids to something. And then once you get them there, I feel like if it was the suburbs, I might drop mom and like go do something for an hour. But in New York, I'm like, you know, I'm just so tired from like getting them to gymnastics. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just going to sit in this hot lobby. My kids do not begin what is going to be a gymnastics career. Yeah. How often do you think dad was home for us, Josh? Because in my head, he was home all the time. But the reality was he probably wasn't. It just felt like he was home all the time because he his personality was

such that he just felt like he was around in a good way. Yeah. Well, I mean, he would get home from work and right away he would say, come upstairs, like he'd get out of his, you know, I'm a businessman. He'd get out of those clothes and get into something more comfortable. And we'd go up and like hang out on the bed

when he was getting changed. And then we would always have dinner together. That's how I feel. And then he was around on the weekends, not rubbing it in here for bigs. If somebody burst an appendix on an airplane he'd be useless whereas your dad if my parents had only been to the north shore of massachusetts in western mass and had never gone to central mass like i imagine that that's that

would have been their experience as well yeah yeah this is a true story our dad commuted to uh to boston every day oh our drive both ways and we were like is that commute bad and he goes you know it's not bad at all because all I ever think is thank God I'm not driving to Central Massachusetts. Oh my God.

I never had an opinion about Central Massachusetts until Mike brought it up. I want to let our listeners know if you're from Central Massachusetts. This is all based on what Mike said earlier. I never thought.

And he's from there. He spent time there. And I love it. I love it. I love, I love, honestly, I love that it was quiet.

I would spend hours like with my friends like in the woods. And yes, by the way, I think southern New Hampshire is the central mass of New Hampshire. It's like not the sort of mountainous postcard part of New Hampshire. And it was the same thing. It was quiet and we had woods and it was safe and it was great. Yeah. It's not the lakes region. It's not where you go skiing. It's not the beach, but it's, yeah, it's got woods. My daughter said to me literally the other day, she goes,

Dad, are there still woods? I explained that there weren't and that the world has changed. Yeah. A different time. You grew up. You just go in the woods, talk about Michael Jackson. We practiced the moonwalk on fresh pine cone. Let me be direct on this.

Did you ever take a family vacation? Yes. Okay. Here he comes. Yeah. So my dad had it in his mind that we were going to be a skiing family. Gotcha. And so we would take like annual trips to like Vermont.

And it would be that thing where we put all the stuff on the roof of the car, like everything. You have a station wagon and then you put a ton of skis and equipment on the roof of the car and i remember one year where my dad i always say about my dad that he's when i was a kid he'd get mad but we weren't even sure why he'd be mad he'd be like god damn it i'm eating pretzels you know we'd be like is he angry is he hungry like what is the emotion being expressed and so when when something real happened, it was colossal. And the realness one year when I was very young was he couldn't get the rack onto the car that held the skis and the equipment. And he was just like, that goddamn rack won't go in the car. And then finally he said uh he said we're not going and then we all just kind of sat around for like a couple hours at the house and we're like

i guess we're not gonna have christmas and then i think my brother joe which is very much joe's role in the family i think he figured out how to get the rack on the, or you know what I think he might've done? He might've just used those bungee cords to strap everything to the top of the car. But then we did ultimately go skiing on this trip to Vermont. I want to say Stowe, Vermont, which is where the Von Trapp family from The Sound of Music had a lodge. Or maybe they still have a lodge in Stowe, Vermont. Wow. You remember that?

The Von Trapp family singers? Yeah, but the real Von Trapps? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, at this point, it's like grandchildren or whatever. But it's like, yeah, they have like a von Trapp family lodge in Vermont. Wow. Sounds lovely.

Two things about the story. One, very much in line with what would happen with Larry Myers. If Larry, our dad, said, I just got to go on top of the car, I would not think we're in the clear. I will also say that if my dad came in and said, the ski trip's canceled, the next time I met a genie, I would only need two wishes because I would be so happy about the ski trip being canceled. I already got one. I'm good.

That would be the dream for me. Okay. There's a few key details about this story. One is that on the drive home from Vermont, there was a big snowstorm. And coming back from Vermont, weather can be terrible in winter. And it was rigorous, and it was through mountains and all this kind of stuff. And this is, I think, a demonstration of how childhood memory works. When we arrived home after this rigorous drive, there was a Boston Globe newspaper article, home after this rigorous drive, there was a Boston Globe newspaper article, and it had a big graphic of a family driving through the mountains in the snow, and there was a wolf. There's a wolf in the

drawing. And my siblings told me, this is very akin to how they would treat me across the board, they told me that that picture in the newspaper was of us. And I believed that it was of us. I had no grasp of the idea of that would be actually fundamentally impossible. That a photograph would have been taken while we were driving moments ago. And then someone did develop the photo. And then they published it in the newspaper that had arrived by the time we arrived at home for years people would ask me you know have you ever had a wild thing in the mountains or a trip or whatever and i would say oh wildest thing happened we were driving home on this trip and we saw a wolf it was snowing and we saw a and then we got home and there was a picture of us driving

with the wolf. And I would tell people this confidently. I would say this absolutely happened. And everyone I spoke to would think to themselves and not say, there's no way that happened. That makes no sense. And that's how my career began. Yeah. That's how good of a storyteller you are. That they would blind them to the impossibility of the result. Hey, we're going to take a quick break and hear from some of our sponsors. Support for Family Trips comes from HelloFresh. Hey, Bashi. Yes, Ufi.

Why don't you talk a little about HelloFresh? Well, HelloFresh, they send you these meal kits. Yeah. And they're you these meal kits. Yeah. And they're in these little paper bags, and you open them up, and they're filled with, like, the most beautiful ingredients. And then it comes with the recipe on how you're supposed to prepare it. So you might have to chop some vegetables, which I got no problem doing. And then you make this meal, and it's more interesting than sort of the regular humdrum, dare I say, meals that I typically make for myself. And then I think it makes you a better cook. It gives you something

more unique than your everyday. First of all, thank you for your bravery and daring to say humdrum. Also, you don't get bored either. There is now 45 dinner options to choose from weekly, even more market add-on items that suit any lifestyle. Josh, what do you think is the most important meal of the day? I mean, I know people like to say breakfast. That's the classic, isn't it? Well, guess what? HelloFresh agrees. In fact, they're giving all subscribers free breakfast for life. That means you'll enjoy a totally free breakfast item with every single HelloFresh delivery. Now that's worth waking up early for. Go to HelloFresh.com slash trips free and use

code trips free for free breakfast for life. One breakfast item per box while subscription is active. That's free breakfast for life at HelloFresh.com slash trips free with code trips free. America's number one meal kit. This episode is brought to you by US Bank. I'm a foodie to the core. Whether it's in the kitchen, trying out a new recipe, and then having my wife come into that same kitchen and say, get out of the kitchen, you're doing it wrong. Or going to a new restaurant. And now, whether I'm eating out or eating in,

I can earn rewards with the U.S. Bank Altitude Go Aviza Signature Card. Hey, Pashi. Yes, Sufi. Spent the holidays in New Mexico where my wife is from. You've been there. You've come every once in a while. Beautiful. And one of the best eating parts of the country that I was never aware of until I met Alexi.

Southwestern cuisine. Green chilies, red chilies. What do they call it when you order them both together? You know what it's called? It's called Christmas. Wow. And we're not just making that up. You can say Christmas all year round and they they know that that's red and green together.

You know what the best part is? What's that? Got to use my U.S. Bank Altitude Go Visa signature card. And if you do the same thing, you'll earn four times points when you go out for dining or order takeout and restaurant delivery, plus earn two times points when you shop for or order your groceries. Think of all the rewards you will earn every time you make your favorite meal or order from your favorite restaurant. The Altitude Go card also earns two times points at gas stations and EV charging stations, as well as on streaming services. Plus, discover how you can earn 20,000 bonus points, a $200 value, at usbank.com slash altitude go when you apply.

Live every day your way with the Altitude Go card. Learn more at usbank.com slash Altitude Go. Limited time offer. The creditor and issuer of this card is U.S. Bank National Association, pursuant to a license from Visa USA Incorporated. Some restrictions may apply. What was the Birbiglia family ride? Family of six, where were you driving? I want to say we had, it was always station wagons. At one point we had an Oldsmobile. I think at one point there was a Peugeot in the mix.

I don't even know if that's a car company anymore. Yeah, I don't know. It might be. They're not a sponsor. And then, yeah, I'm trying to think of this was a fascinating like car thing at one point i think my dad went through a midlife crisis and bought you remember this car a buick riviera i mean the name rings a bell but i can't visualize it just the name though just the name but it doesn't like Midlife Crisis to me is like a Trans Am or a Mazda Miata.

That seems like the most reasonable midlife crisis car. No, no. Look at it. Look at it. Look at the Buick Riviera. It says luxury car when you Google it. It looks a little like gangstery. Yes.

So the Buick Riviera. And so there was a hurricane that was coming wow and isn't it as in the 1980s I think Hurricane Gloria yeah it was Hurricane Gloria and Hurricane Gloria was on its way and I decided I'm gonna stay outside for this one told my family I'm gonna be on the front porch I'm just gonna see this through and once again completely ignored I went out on the front porch. I'm just going to see this through. And once again, completely ignored. I went out on the front porch and I sat on the front porch of our house on Westwood Road in Shrewsbury, Massachusetts and watched the storm. It was actually quite epic. And at a certain point, the winds got so extreme that they were like, like i think you have to come inside i think this

is getting dangerous so i go inside you would have toughed it out no i would have toughed it out well you know you know me i'm all in on hurricanes but look and it will blink first if i had my druthers i would be a cnn weather correspondent in florida a storm chaser you love be a storm chaser. You love- I'd be a storm chaser. Chase too. So I go inside and I look out the front window and there's an oak tree in our front yard. It's huge. And I see it topple over like in slow motion,

full topple, lands dead center in the middle of the Buick Riviera. Oh my goodness. It was so satisfying. I bet. It was so satisfying. A lot of car insurance, you get covered for acts of God. Acts of God. And that's considered an act of god

it's like a coen brothers movie version of my life especially the midlife crisis car having a tree fall on it is yes it couldn't be more perfect some guy who feels like cock on the wall for a week in his new buick riviera and then smash we've established 11 years older for your older sister and then how close is uh is joe so then my sister patty's a few years younger than that and then my brother joe is a few younger years younger than that so joe's like five years older than me i actually have this memory when i was a kid that joe and i were talking about the other day because joe writes with me and he produces a lot of of the shows that i do everything, we've worked together for almost 20 years.

And the other day I go, Joe, do you remember when you were, when Joe was in college, I was in, I don't know, Joe was maybe 18, I was maybe 13. And I found out that Joe had smoked pot and I was like shocked by this. I mean, it was full.

I mean, I had gone to the DARE program. If you remember that, DARE kids to not use drugs, which was always confusing. It's like, we dare you not to use drugs. We're like, wait, to use them or not? To not, to not use them, you know? I like that adults at the time thought,

you know what kids are really susceptible to is dares we were yeah yeah you could do anything yeah we were as kids we were just like but we you know you've we've been told by grown-ups that we shouldn't do stuff if you dare us to they're like it's an acronym we're like we don't know what an acronym is, you know? So I was very trained. Do we remember what the acronym stands for? Just to prove. Oh, yeah. Drug Abuse Resistance Education.

Well done. Ah, smooth. Real quick, Dad said recently, he's like, oh, they opened a recreation equipment store in Bedford. I was like, what's that? He's like, it's REI. I was like, yeah, who calls it recreation equipment? What are you talking about, bro?

Even though that's good for. I didn't either. I was like, I don't know what that is. He's like, it's REI. I was like, okay. Call it REI. And Josh, by the way, news to me. Yeah. REI. No idea what the acronym stands for. Also, never said what the I was.

So Joe had smoked pot i don't know maybe he was 20 i don't know how he was in college and this was a loss of innocence for me and i could joe what are you doing like you're throwing away your life i was like a kid and he goes mike do you think dad has ever smoked pot and i I was like, I don't know. And he was just like, knowingly like, like nodding, you know,

I tell this story to Joe recently. Cause I thought maybe it'd be funny to put it on stage. Joe goes, he actually never has. The reveal on the stories that our dad has never smoked pot ever. I just like that. Joe was like, I'm going to get you.

I'm going to get you to stop thinking about me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a redirect. We had one of the first times my parents left us alone. Our parents left us alone. I remember I had a friend come over with like three beers and two wine coolers. Yeah. I was probably, I'm going to say 17 or 18.

Okay. And there was no risk of anybody getting inebriated. The idea was like, let's all try a beer. It was that level. Josh, who is only two years younger than me, so he's either 16 or 15, goes berserk at the very idea that his older brother is going to drink a beer.

Furious about it. Just windmill inches. I remember he had to be physically restrained wow crying josh to his credit never had any shame about totally melting down emotionally in front of older kids nobody dared me not to cry josh can we can we unpack your resistance there? I mean, it's the same thing. It's like Nancy Reagan had us all hooked. I know like, you know, we've had Reggie Watts on the podcast. He wrote a play about not doing drugs.

I know you wrote a rap about not doing drugs. Yeah, that's right. It was everywhere, like that sort of mindset. It was the, this is your brain on drugs era with those eggs. And so I was afraid.

And so, yeah, I just, I loved my brother and Seth wants to make fun of how much I loved him. So Seth, why don't you continue? Good to say. Everybody also, it was very clear at the time that Bartles and James was a gateway to heroin. Oh my God.

Those guys. Half a wine. And then, you know, who knew where it would last. But it is true. And I think when you go back to how the monoculture we grew up in yeah is that you watch television and then there was like this seven year period where every other commercial break would either have a you know a mad mothers against drunk driving there were a lot of commercials with like a beer and then reaching tires and breaking glass and yes the red police car lights on the screen and so that we were

i think those statistics were being thrown that's a great deal so this is a this is a story that isn't a it's a trip that my parents took but josh will you will you allow it at least it's a trip i mean yeah okay well the other one was a trip no i know it's a trip. I mean, yeah. Okay. Well, the other one was a trip. No, I know. The skiing was a trip. I feel like we've sort of scratched the surface. Once you went to Vermont and then after that, nowhere. Okay. How about this?

How about this? Great. My parents went on a trip when my older sisters were in high school. I was maybe six or seven. Joe was maybe 12. It's the 80s. My sisters decide they're going to have a house party at our house while my parents are gone and not tell them. First of all, what universe is it? I mean, it's like an 80s movie. I mean, it's like risky business or something. Like what parents are like, we're going to go away for a week. We're going to leave our teenage daughters

with our house for a week. Like, I don't understand the blind. I don't know. Like there's a certain degree of like, how could you possibly have missed this, right? My sisters, very smart move. They send me and my brother over to our respective best friends houses for the night i went to michael kavanaugh's house for a sleepover joe went to mike flynn's house for a sleepover by the way no questions asked

from those parents my sisters my teenage sisters sent their younger brothers to a sleepover like for your own protection right like by the way uninvited it's not like they invited us yeah they literally called my parents friends and we're just like so we'd like Mike to come over. They're teenagers. We're basically telemarketers. An incredible opportunity. So Gina and Patty have a party that is a full 80s movie party. Not only is it like hundreds of people in a very medium, small size home, apparently there were teachers there from the school.

Wow. To party? Josh, I hate to burst your bubble, but in the 80s, there were parties where teachers went to high school parties. It literally makes no sense to me at all. Career ending. Oh my God. This is Central Mass for you, man. Everything that happened every day in Central Mass in the 1980s would end someone's career every day in modern times.

It's like international watch now. Anything goes. Yeah. So they have this party. Teachers show up. Kids show up. They hire a bartender. So there's a bartender.

The next day, I come home to our house, and there are people asleep up the staircase. Amazing. Yeah. They're asleep up the staircase. I'm stepping through people and there's tire marks all over our lawn. Fully like people have parked all over our lawn. Fully, like, people have parked all over the lawn. They parked up the street,

down Beaver Drive, up Westwood Road. They parked both ways and all over our lawn. There is no way my parents will not find out there was a party. And then it snowed. Ah, wow. out there was a party and then it snowed. Wow. Full blizzard, foot of snow, covers all the tire tracks. My parents never found out. A few years later, my mom went for a walk with our neighbor, Mrs. Saliba, who she used to go on walks with when I was growing up. Mrs. Saliba just says to my mom, she goes, Hey, remember that party that your daughters had a few years ago, where it was like a thousand people at your house and people were parked on your lawn. And my mom just goes, no.

And then they never talked about it again. The best. I can't believe how the acts of God just kept breaking against your dad. Do you think he would have brought down the hammer? Would your sisters have gotten in like crazy trouble or would it have been like, oh, come on, girls. When they were in high school, they were in trouble all the time. I mean, they were grounded all the time. Like, I don't remember a moment in high school where my sisters weren't either being yelled at or just like leaving for a few days. It was like always dramatic. There was a time where my mom got so mad at my sisters that they hadn't done their laundry.

I mean, this is bananas. And if you knew my mom, you'd be like, that's insane. Because she's like one of the kindest, most even keel, thoughtful people I've ever encountered in my life. I have a memory from my childhood where my mom is taking laundry from my sister's rooms, like dirty laundry, and putting it in a sewer across the street. I'm not kidding. A sewer. And my sister, Gina and Patty, enlisted me to run the reverse pattern and take the clothes from the sewer back to their bedroom.

So I was like working for my sisters, trying to restore order in the laundry ecosystem. Very similar move from Larry Myers was, I remember, because our mom had a very gentle touch, a very ineffective gentle touch of trying... I was always in trouble and I was always getting grounded, but getting grounded for me was perfectly fine. Ultimately, what I wanted to be doing was be in my room reading. It was never that bad. That was the problem. The punishment was always fine. But my dad, I remember, would just go in my room

and he said, everything on the floor is going into a garbage bag. Ag up my clothes and just take it away. And he's like, when you are ready to stop treating it like garbage,

you can have it back. What happened to this tactic? This is a parental tactic that is vestigial to the 1980s of children's things go in the just the garbage if you don't treat them well the you know is is that they just my kids i definitely have my dad's temper i have my dad's instincts but ultimately my kids know i don't have the backbone to see it through oh i'm like i like, I'm going to throw this all away. They look at me like, no, you're not.

Throw it all. Well, try it. I'd say try it. Throw something away. I remember two things. One, just talking about 80s movies and parties. I remember once being at a house party. I wasn't here for this, and it might be apocryphal,

but cops would come into houses, and kids would either run into the woods or hide in the house. Wait, wait. Cops would bust into houses and kids would either run into the woods or hide in the house. Wait, wait. Cops would bust up a party. And where we grew up, like if cops showed up, kids would run into the woods. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And the other thing is sometimes kids would just try to hide in the house until the cops left.

Yes. And I remember once hearing a story that one of our friends was hiding in the bathtub and a cop pulled open the shower curtain and then said into his radio, rub-a-dub-dub, I got one in the tub. At the same time, the first time our parents left us alone. I hope I haven't told this story about the mail. Josh, have I told the mail story? I't think so we had people over it wasn't a party but we had like sort of a unlicensed sleepover and because we had told them under no uh i don't know you know uncertain terms were we allowed to have people over and we did a really fast cleanup before my parents got back and i guess one of my friends had taken all the mail and just put it under a couch cushion. Yeah. So my parents came home for a week away and they

were like, where's the mail? Yeah. He didn't get any mail. And my dad said, you're telling me for the first, we got no mail, my capacity. And I got a kid now, my middle one, Axel, is this kind of liar who could just look you dead in the eye and say, yeah, we didn't get any mail. And then, you know, I think weeks later, if somebody sat on a cushion, an adult, and realized there was a big lumpy pile of mail. And I remember, because I would get, as I said, grounded all the time. My dad would say, so you're grounded. And the thing I got to figure out is for how long. I want you to know you're definitely grounded. I performed in Buffalo, New York recently, which is where my grandparents lived.

Lived when I was growing up. And what I explained to the audience at the beginning of the show is when I was a kid, my understanding of the world was that there were two locations in the world. And it was Shrewsbury, Massachusetts and Buffalo, New York. And as I understood it, that was the entire world until I was about 10 years old. And then after that, my life got a lot better. Honestly, that's a lot of it. It's like, we didn't go anywhere. We would go to my grandparents' house and I would be, and this is very Seth in a certain way. You're saying you would just be reading books in your bedroom. My grandmother was obsessed with this. Grandma McKenzie was

the Irish side of my family. She was obsessed with the fact that when I was in their house, they had a little house in Hamburg, New York, outside of Buffalo. And I didn't have a room to be in. There was no room. There's no bedroom for me or whatever. So I took a closet that they had that had like a couple of steps in it. And I made the closet into a room for me. And so I lived in the closet for like a week. And yeah, and I would read books,

and I would draw pictures, and I'd write poems and all that kind of stuff. And that was sort of my claim to fame in the family is that I'm almost like a little like burrowing animal. I was just, I always find a little spot to do my thing. That's great. I hope Josh is a little bad as he's saying, tell us more about your trips. And the reality is the only one you had was writing poems in a closet. I feel like we almost missed that. I think that's a great detail.

And that's, yeah, I used to, I mean, I spent some time in closets and little spaces. And yeah. And I will say a couple of steps in a closet, a kid's going to burrow on in there. I mean, that's like, yeah,

that sounds like it has like a little door or like a smaller than regular door. All right. We have some questions. So we ask all our guests, but I do, I want to say exactly what I thought. You were the easiest person to talk to.

This is so lovely. Oh, great. I agree. Okay, great. Agree. Okay, great. And now Josh is going to ask you some questions. Okay. You can only pick one of these. Is your ideal vacation relaxing, adventurous, or educational? Adventurous, although I feel like everyone in my life would challenge me on that.

We're going to keep them off the podcast. Okay. Yeah. Great. What is your favorite means of transportation? Train, plane, automobile, boat, bike, your own two feet. I'm obsessed with trains and the subway. My grandfather, I say this in the old man in the pool, but my grandfather worked in the subway tunnels of New York city. Wow. He was an electrician. So they would blow up dynamite in these tunnels. And then the electricians would be the first ones

who'd go in. They actually show this at the MTA Museum down the street here in Brooklyn. The electricians would go in. It was very dangerous, pitch dark, and they would light up these tunnels. And the joke I say in the special, after that he worked at a deli in Brooklyn

called Joe's Luncheonette, and supposedly one day one of his regular customers came in and said how's it going Joe and he just keeled over in the counter keeled over the counter and died um which is sad but in a way it's a pretty funny response if you think about it in some ways he was the original comedian of the family that is an extraordinary level of commitment but. But I feel very close to the New York subway system. I feel very, I love taking it. It's my favorite because it's so damn effective. I know it's dirty, et cetera, but it's like, it's amazing.

Yeah, people that won't ride the subway, it drives me crazy when I'm in New York because it is the most efficient, fastest way to do it. And it's like, yeah, it's a little dirty, but it is so efficient. And yeah, I love it. Do you think, Mike, real quick, that your grandfather knew was coming and he was like, if I can just hold off, I work at a luncheonette, if I can just hold off till someone asks. Yeah, look, I want to believe these things. This is... I'm going to let you believe that one.

There's things that we want to believe, and that's one of them. All right. If you could take a vacation with any family, alive or dead, fictional or real, other than your own family, what family would you like to vacation with? I once heard a story that I don't know if it's true or not, which is that sometimes Bob Dylan will go to Minnesota and he's like the grandfather of like this family, like doing their like Christmases and Thanksgiving. And that he's just like Grandpa Bob. And I want to go to that. I want to go to that trip.

I want to go there. Great call. I love that. All right. If you had to be stranded on a desert island with one member of your family, who would it be? It is, I mean, my daughter, Una, is a riot. Great. Here's the thing she said the other day.

She goes, you know, the social dynamics at school are so intense. She goes, like, I'll make up names, but she's like, you know, Sarah doesn't want me to be friends with Zoe. She only wants me to be friends with Sarah. And I'm like, Sarah doesn't get to decide who you're friends with. And Una goes, and I was like, I know what you mean. Yeah. It was the first time I feel like we really understood each other. She just goes like completely dismissing the idea with no argument whatsoever.

Just like you couldn't possibly understand third grade. Yeah. I'll let Sarah know. That'll go great. And Shrewsbury, is Shrewsbury the official hometown? Shrewsbury is my hometown. My parents have since moved to a couple different places, but yeah, Shrewsbury. All right. Now, would you recommend Shrewsbury. Alright, now, would you

recommend Shrewsbury as a vacation destination? Look, there's four pizzerias and a church. I don't know what else there is, but I stand by those being good pizza. That's a very unpopular Hugh Grant movie. Four pizzerias and a church.

Well, you know, the problem with that movie, Seth, not a lot of plot. No, that's the problem with that movie set not a lot of plot no that's the problem you can explain it's what the weird thing the problem where it fits the spielberg rule you can explain it right away in 25 but then it has the other problem where there's no yeah there's no plot at all it's just locations it's just locations and seth has our final questions have you been to the grand canyon no and i want to go so much it's it's it's definitely locations and seth has our final questions have you been to the grand canyon no and i want to go so much it's it's it's definitely like hopefully it'll be one of the una teenage trips there's only a few states i haven't been to i've been to like 47 47 of the 50 states what are the three give us the three hawaii is is the really glaring one yeah and i think mississippi is one of them and And I don't, I can't

think of the third, but I've pretty much been everywhere. I mean, I'm going in 2024 in the Please Stop the Ride Tour, I'm going to 44 cities. Look at you. That's amazing. It's wild. Busy boy. Now, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you want to go to the Grand Canyon because you famously love adventure. Oh, I love adventure. Everyone

knows this about me. Everyone except everyone I know knows this about me. I think that's a good way of looking at it. You've said it in a way that makes sense to me, which is teenage years, kids to the Grand Canyon, when they can stay on their own two feet, there's no risk. They have balance. I think balance is key. Look, Seth, I'm looking to go to the Grand Canyon and take a closet and turn it into a little home. Do they have that there? They might. On the side of the cliffs, you might be able to find a small little burrow hole.

Rock nooks. Yeah. And I want to have just a big house party where there's cars parked up Beaver Drive and down Westwood Road. And it's just like tire tracks everywhere. And at the end of the whole thing, an oak tree comes down on my car. You want people parallel parking on the rim of the Grand Canyon for your park. Michael, it is just a delight to talk to you. Thank you so much.

Thank you so much. This was great. Yeah. All right. I'll see you soon. All right. I'll see you soon. All right. Thanks, everybody. One winter time, Mike's dad said we are going to be a skiing family.

Couldn't get that rack up on the car. Didn't look like we were getting far. But his brother figured it out, but you could. And to Vermont, they did go. To the Von Trapp Lodge, up in the story. And Mike was young, just a little squirt. If he wasn't Von Trapp, just a little squirt. If he wasn't on trap, he'd

death be curt. And the craziest thing happened when they were just at home. And if you don't believe them, just check the button, girl. They saw a wolf, a wolf, you know. A big bad wolf was

in the snow. That's right, a wolf, a wolf, a big bad wolf was in the snow. That's right, a wolf, a wolf. Sure, the paper couldn't print it that fast, but Mike still thinks he saw a wolf. Thank you.