Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers - PAUL BETTANY Grew Up In Many Different Religions

Episode Date: October 13, 2026

This week on the pod, Seth and Josh welcome Paul Bettany! Paul talks about growing up in England with a father whose changing religious beliefs shaped his childhood, his early struggles as an actor, and his experiences at drama school and busking. He shares stories about family vacations in Vermont, Greece, and Switzerland, raising his kids, and falling in love with Jennifer Connelly. Paul also discusses his friendship with Matthew Rhys and his upcoming Marvel series VisionQuest. Watch this episode on the Family Trips YouTube or Spotify, or listen wherever you get your podcasts! Watch more Family Trips episodes: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLlqYOfxU_jQem4_NRJPM8_wLBrEEQ17B6 ------------------------- 00:00 Introduction with Seth Meyers and Josh Meyers 03:17 Pittsburgh Halloween Plans 08:17 Paul Bettany Joins 20:48 Faith Family And Growing Up 35:42 Awkward Tent Flirting 36:46 First Trip to America 38:22 Falling for Jennifer 43:25 Wedding Gone Public 58:53 Family at the Theater 01:03:26 Grandma’s Love Story 01:05:02 Vision Quest 01:08:15 Grand Canyon Verdict ------------------------- Support our sponsors: Quince Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to https://Quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. iM8 Go to https://IM8HEALTH.com/trips RIGHT NOW or click on the link in the description and use code trips for a Free Welcome Kit, five free travel sachets, plus ten percent off your order. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Whisker Get ten percent off a Whisker Litter-Robot at ⁠https://whisker.com/TRIPS. BlueLand Make the switch today! Get 15% off your first order by going to https://Blueland.com/TRIPS. ------------------------- Family Trips is produced by Rabbit Grin Productions. Theme song written and performed by Jeff Tweedy. ------------------------- About the Show: Lifelong brothers Seth Meyers and Josh Meyers ask guests to relive childhood memories, unforgettable family trips, and other disasters! New Episodes of Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers are available every Tuesday. ------------------------- Executive Producers: Rob Holysz, Jeph Porter, Natalie Holysz Creative Producer: Sam Skelton Coordinating Producer: Derek Johnson Video Editor: Josh Windisch Mix & Master: Josh Windisch Episode Artwork: Analise Jorgensen #familytrips #sethmeyers #joshmeyers Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, Bashi. Hey, Sufi. How are you? I'm good. I'm back in New Hampshire. I bought a backdrop, so you don't have to look at my... We don't have to know that you're in New Hampshire. Well, you don't have to know that I'm in my bedroom.

I like knowing you in your bedroom. Yeah, yeah. Are you, uh, you saw our uncle, Kurt. Yeah, and, uh, and our, uh, our cousin, cousin? Yeah, I guess cousin, yeah. I've never, I've never quite understood that, like, second cousin or cousin once removed. Yeah. Yeah, but our uncles, he's our uncle's son.

So he's a son. And he's also Kurt. He's also Kurt. Yeah. Those are their names. They're not like short with you. No, no, no. Definitely not.

Yeah. Yeah, they came out. I was home, and I'm still home, but mom's birthday. So we went out to, had a nice dinner at the Copper Door. But of course. Shout out to Copper Door. Yeah. For feeding our parents for 25 years.

Yeah. Initially, I didn't think, mom, I was like, hey, you know, what do you want to do for your birthday? And she's like, well, it's a Sunday. So there's football on. So I just think watch football. I was like, nothing? Like, nothing for your birthday? She's like, hey.

And then I guess Kurt rang her up and was like, hey, let's go out. But in, I guess, there was a game in London. So we had football on from 9.30 in the morning until like six. So you were ready for a break. You were ready for a break. Yeah, we need a break. It was, there was no Steeler game. Based on when you're hearing this,

the Steelers played the Thursday night game and lost to the Browns, which was bad. But it is, I do feel a real freedom on my weekend. Oh, right. That I don't have to, like, play this weird game with myself where I'm like, this weekend's about my kids. I'm not going to look at my phone. On my peak, though. I might take a little peek.

Oh, no. I'm not going to pee. It was, yeah, it was another one of those, you know, I'm enjoying my life rather than being beholden to football. And that Thursday night game was a day before I flew home for like a 10-day trip. So I was leaving McKenzie back in Los Angeles. And we had tickets to a concert that I bought before I knew that the Steelers were going to be playing on a Thursday night. And we went to the concert. So I saw the first half of the game.

And I was like, oh, this could go either way. And I went to a lovely concert and checked the score when we were coming home. And I was like, oh, I'm so glad I didn't watch that. I was at a lovely dinner. And I was going to not watch the game. And then I was walking out of the restaurant. And did not strike me, this would be a restaurant where the game would be on the bar at the bar. But it was.

And then I saw it. I'm like, ha, I just had to watch it. When you see that, do you sit? So you can watch the game or do you intentionally sit so you can't? Oh, sorry, on the way out. So we were like the restaurant side and on my way out I saw the score and then basically had like, I was, you know, up until like midnight, which was not what I wanted to do. And then sad. I went to bed like late and sad.

Yeah. Well, we've, yeah, we're planning on going to Pittsburgh for Halloween weekend. I'm very excited. And your boys have gotten very into the Steelers. Yep. And there's chatter. I don't know if this is what's going to happen or not, but there's chatter that Ash might be Terry Bradshaw.

And it's Halloween. So he's going to dress up like Halloween. I mean, he wouldn't just be. Yeah. He's right. He's going to dress as Terry Bradshaw for Halloween and then probably just wear the uniform to the game. The problem is Axles insistent on wearing shoulder pads.

I'm trying to tell him not to wear shoulder pads for Halloween. And they both want helmets. And they're like, no, well, use their helmets. Sounds like you are checking a bag. They're like, well, they're. Well, they're like, yeah, and then they're like, no, the helmets will be, that's where we'll put our candy. And I'm like, no, you're not. It's, you got to want a bag.

And then I'm going to carry the helmets. I don't want to carry the helmets. But I think I'll probably be carrying the helmets, bro. Do you think we could buy a bunch of candy and put it in their helmets when they wake up and maybe trick them to think that they've already gone? Well, I don't know. I mean, you know, it is. Like, we always talk about it. And look, you know, part of our, you know, when we do our ads for Airbnb, right?

We always say the nice thing about like booking a house on Airbnb is we're in a proper neighborhood. Like I think we might be in a proper neighborhood. Yeah, we're definitely in a property. And so I kind of think in a way that maybe, you know, again, our kids trick or treat in, you know, Grettish Village in New York City. And it's amazing. But it's not, you know, it's not classic Americana trick or treating. And like this might be their best chance to like, you know.

Yeah. It's not crazy mayhem New York. But it is like, you know, it's not suburbia either where you have to like walk, you know, half a mile between houses. So I think it might kind of be fun. The danger will be that you will lose your children because there's going to be so many kids dressed as Steelers. Yeah.

It was interesting because they were saying that. I was like, be Terry Bradshaw and Frayette and Ferris because they were trying to figure out who do we am. Like, be them and we can say we're being the Immaculate Reception. By the way, there is a chance I'm going to buy you a Raiders jersey because we are going to go as the Immaculate Reception and I'm going to need you to be Jack Tatum. I haven't told you this yet.

You're putting a target on my back. I know, I know. But I think people really like it. Anyway, I'm like, and they're like, nobody's going to know. They're like, nobody knows who Terry Browell's. I'm like, everybody in Pittsburgh. And I know Terry Browice on it. Yeah.

So we'll see. But I think, I think a trick and treating, tricks and treating, be pretty fun. Yeah, for sure. In the bird. Yeah. So I'm definitely looking forward to it. Great. Oh, I know what I was going to tell you.

You were talking about going to a concert. I just had David Byrne on my show. And you saw David Byrne at the Hollywood Bowl. Incredible. Incredible. And I said, hey, my brother just saw you the Hollywood Bowl. He said it was fantastic. I go, you've probably played there a lot.

And he's like, actually, no, I think it's only the second time I've ever played the Hollywood Bowl. And I go, is it as good as I, you know, as it is from the audience. He goes, it's unbelievable. It's like one of the – he goes, the only thing is, like, up front. you know there's like people like eating dinner on like white tablecloths yeah like fancy dinner yeah and i guess this is just the sort of high-end VIP Hollywood bowl experience yeah but he's like yeah it's like you know there's there's table claws and uh you know people like you know watching you and they're like eating you know like rib-eye steaks and poshie i was so i felt so happy that moment because

I knew i was like and then i know it wasn't my brother yeah no If it was a steak, it wasn't my brother. I used to thank God. Yeah. We saw Maggie Rogers play there. Ah, great. And amazing, like, ascendancy. We saw her at the Trubidor, and the next time we saw her,

she was headlining the bowl. That's great. But she came out and, you know, hot start to a show. And then she did ask the booth. She was like, I'm sorry, all I can see is this guy eating, steak sandwich. Apparently the steak sandwich, like it sticks with me. She's like, can you turn the lights up so I can see other people who might be enjoying this? She's like, please, for my own personal. And she's like, oh my God, thank God you're there. Because the way the lights are, if you're performing there,

you just see those first people. And they don't, it's not every show that it's like food there. They should, they should, you know, get the food done by the time the headliner comes on. But it must be, very disconcerning to be like, I made it. That guy paid extra. He's like, I only want her to see me at my sandwich. They're like, we can't turn the lights on my. She fully called him out. She fully called the dude out for eating a steak sandwich. Man, I would tell you

this. I would not like, impotchi, you could attest this. I would not like my favorite singer to see me eating a steak sandwich. No, no, no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, this is Paul Bettney. Oh, my gosh. I think you guys are in for a treat. Yeah.

Out of the gates hot. I mean, he's going to tell you he's got no good stories. He's like that's what he says early on he has no good stories. A ruse if I've ever heard one. Yeah, and then proceeds to launch into, yeah, sort of epic tale. Ten bangers. Yeah, epic tales, really. Yeah.

Do give him listen, do enjoy, and do check out Vision Quest. Is it called Vision Quest? Is it? Yeah, Vision Quest. It's out. Yeah. Do enjoy Vision Quest as I am currently doing. Family trips with the mice brothers.

Oh, yeah. I mean, does anybody wear a better pair of glasses than Paul Bettney? It's a show. Enraging. Enraging. Well, Seth, you're not tough to top, Seth. I know. I'm new to glasses, Paul, and they're just filthy.

I haven't figured out how to keep me clean. They're disgusting. That's disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. I'm going to be honest, if there's one thing I like more than your glasses, it's your voice. And I'm hearing it all the time because my kids are just like knee deep in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. And your voice is all over that thing. Are they really?

Or are you just saying that? No, they are. I really are. Really? Yeah. Oh, good. They're 10 and 8. And I, you know, I just, I mean, sorry to big time, you Poshy.

But Paul and I just saw each other at a little event called the World Cup Final. Oh, my God, yeah. La La. It was so great. It was really great. It was really great. It was so great to see all those Argentina fans, and I just fed off all the sadness. That's true.

As an Englishman, you must enjoy the tears of Argentinian soccer fans. Oh, it's so good. Hey, before we get started, don't you think we? I think we should talk about a mutual friend of ours. Oh, I'm very excited. Matthew Reese. Yes. Yeah.

Have you seen him since. his double Emmy win? As he changed? Is he worse? He's insufferable. It's just, what a loss, because he was a good person. He was a really good person, and it's kind of, I've had to break friends with him.

He walks his kids to school with his Emmys. It's awful. That's awful. Well, he's got two. You have to be a really good person to maintain that on a night you win two Emmys for two different things. Yeah.

Only the best of us. Only the best of us, Paul. I think the secret is that he also won a third for producing. Oh, he did. He did. And he's also, and he had one before. I mean, it's so from the Americans, it's just, it's unbearable. I know.

It's too much for me to live with, I think. You probably see him a lot, too. You Brooklyn people. He lives down the block. He brings them over when he comes to coffee. I'll tell you how he changed because I remember I saw him the summer he shot Widows Bay

and he's like, oh, I have nothing to do with it. It's not me. I'm just lucky enough to be in it. And then when he won for producing, he's like, I had a vision. I always knew. That's exactly right. Yeah, I've never seen Matthew,

I've never asked Matthew, hey, how's the show going? And it's going great. I think it's going to be a hit. He's always like, it's the worst thing. It's so embarrassing. It's the end of my career. cut to him being lorded.

It's just, he's an awful front. I'm sorry you have to live through that. We came up together. We were in our first play together. Get out. Get out. Yeah. Yeah, true story.

And it was called One More Wasted Year. And the reviews came out and said, one more wasted evening. And we were kind of prepared for it because Stephen Doldry was the, He was the director of the theater at the time, and he came in on press night, after press night, came into our dressing room, and he brought us two big glasses of wine. He went, it might not be the play the world needs,

but it's the play we have. I feel like there's always a danger in plays with titles like that, that you make it too easy for the reviewer to trash it. They might not trash it, but it's like, oh, I have to do such little work to write a headline that's going to take a little stab. My wife was in a film called What's Wrong with Virginia? And the review just wrote itself.

It's so cruel. Fun to look back and reflect on. And obviously, you, Matthew, Stephen Doldry, all have had numerous successes since then. But how gutting was it at the time? Like, do you remember that at that night, was it really dreadful? Yeah, because you, that's the... the problem with theater is you then still have to do it for six months. Yeah. Oh, they didn't cut your run short. No, with dwindling audiences. No, no, no. It's, it's, you know, it's a government-sponsored

theater. Yeah. Do you have a good sort of radar for how it's going to be received? Like, did you think before the reviews came out, we got a hit on her hands? No, I was too young. We were just too, we were too excited to be employed. I have not. No idea. We was just out being drunkards. Yeah. When you read the reviews, you said to Stephen, like, but we still get paid, right? Exactly.

You had done some street performing in London as well, yeah? Was that prior to this? Yeah, I was a busket on the streets with a guitar. See, I feel like everything after that has to be a little bit easy. That's the hardest thing in the world. It's a hundred, you're a hundred percent right. And when I, I was a little older than the other students when I went to drama school. So having been, having been a busker on the streets and everybody was, everybody was terrified of drama school and getting cut.

And I just thought, I've, I've got a grant. I mean, I've got a flat. They're paying my tuition. I was just, I can eat. Although the first term, I got a big check from the council for my living expenses, and I spent it all on a stereo. So I literally lived on crisps at the pub for the next, you know, for the first three months. That is, Josh and I both performed at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

And, you know, we would have to sort of, you know, give out flyers, try to get people to come to our show, but on high street, there were also actual buskers. And I just, the, I don't know, the ability to, like, work past the disinterest of 95% of the passers by is, it is just such a good education in rejection. Yes. And I mean that in a positive way, which is, like, ultimately, like, you can be a hit if you convince 5% of everybody to stop and watch you, as long as you just can live without, like, carrying the people who didn't want to see it.

That's right. And you kind of, you learn to sort of profile your audience, you know. Like, oh, these kids look like they're French students. I'm going to play The Cure. So, yeah, yeah, it was a, it was a terrible time. And I was thinking about this. I was thinking about this. I was like, fucking hell, what am I doing coming on this podcast? Because literally nothing funny happened to me in my child. And just to give you a, for instance, I was thinking, well, what are some funny story? And I remember this is how I found out that Santa wasn't real, was we have a slightly different tradition in the UK. We don't put our stockings up by a fireplace.

We put them on the end of our bed, which is already darker, a darker story as a sort of old man in leather boots and a fur-trimmed costume walks into your kid. But I woke up to find my dad's stuffing presents in my stockings, and we just, we locked eyes. And with his cigarette still dangling from his mouth, he went, ho, ho, ho. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Hey, we're going to take a quick break and hear from some of our sponsors. Support comes from Blueland.

Hey, Bashi. Hey, Sufi. Between sports practices starting back up, busier schedules and everything. Everyone's routines ramping up again. My laundry pile has basically tripled overnight. I need a detergent that can actually keep up. Real quick, posh. If my laundry pile, when I was 12 years old, tripled, how big would that have been?

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with the little toilet bowl tabs, drop one in each of the three turlets that I got. And then 15 minutes later, go around with a little scrub brush. It's just something I do. Pretty good. Pretty good, Pasha. Pretty good picture for everybody,

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Turlets are clean. Support comes from Quince. Hey, Pashi. Hey, Sufi. You know what I like to have my closet, Pashi? What's that, Sufi? Things I can wear more than once, you know what I mean? Things that I'm so comfortable in that pair so well with everything

that I'm always like, hello, old friend. Here to join me on a new adventure? Yeah. Talking about a perfect pair of pants, a t-shirt you always reach for, a sweater that goes to everything. Quince, they do that best. They do. They got those standard pieces that are just that,

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Give free shipping on your order and 365-day returns now available in Canada in the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, keep it to yourself. Wait, no, Sufi. Let them know it was family trips. It's the best way to support the show.

In partnership with Airbnb, I'd like to share a travel story. Hey, Pashi. Hey, Sufi. Coming up, our annual trip to Pittsburgh where for legal reasons, reasons we're not allowed to say the name of the team that we want to see. Yeah, it's like an off-brand video game where they didn't get the licenses.

So we're going to go see the Pittsburgh Football Men. Yeah, we're big fans of the Pittsburgh Football Club, and we're going to go see them on an annual trip. And it's just, it's the best. It's the best. And again, look, the thing about when we go see the football men play, you can be happy, you can be sad based on the outcome, which is why the part of the trip that is always the nicest, the most consistent, is when we're in the house that we booked on Airbnb, because then we just get to be a family again. We get to have our little kitchen. We get to have dad's pretzels. And he's very fussy if he doesn't have his pretzels,

so it makes for a better trip. Yeah. Mom has a genitoneck because we've bought the stuff. Dad has his pretzels. Maybe there's a late football. game on that we want to watch between the San Diego football men and the Denver football men. The Arizona birds that are red. And the Kansas City leaders of a clan. You are at home, which is what you want. Were your dad was an educator? Yeah, he was.

He was an actor that it hadn't, it didn't really ever wore. work out for. And so, yeah, so he was, he was teaching. And, um, and he was, my dad was, uh, my dad, yeah, all right, yeah, go on then. My dad, I'll just do it. My dad was a, was a, was a, my dad was a, my dad was a guy man who was, um, and we lived in a very religious household because I guess he was trying to be not gay. Um, and he moved through. all these different religions. So we were Catholic, we were, all denominations of Christianity. We were Methodists, we were Church of England.

And at one point we were in this sort of quasi-Christian, Native American thing called Church of White Eagle Lodge. And then, then we became Mormons. Oh, my God, Paul. How long did each one last? like as a kid differing yeah go on well like as a kid were you were you aware like we're probably going through these a little bit faster than you're supposed to it was just it just it was just normal the the Mormon one stopped for a while and uh it's actually where I think it's the

experience this is 1970s England and the church of the latter day saints was in a on a street called Exhibition Row. And this becomes important later because on a Sunday, it's the busiest street in London because it's where all the museums are. It's Museum Row or the Natural History Museum and Science Museum, all of that.

And we would be there three times a week because they really get their claws into you. And on this particular Sunday, I became an atheist. And I must have been 70 years old. And I remember, there was this little boy, and he ran out that he was wearing these, you remember those sort of like flare bell button trousers,

and they had a really wide band up the waist with like six buttons. And he couldn't get the buttons on down. And he's going, Mom, I can't get the buttons on down. And he's like, I'm going to pee myself. And I'm like, oh, my God, this kid is going to pee himself in front of the congregation. It's going to be excellent. And then his mom, His mom is runs and he says he's and she shouts to the congregation.

He's only got one kidney. And now we're now everybody. All of these moms are trying to undo his is, his trousers. And she says, just, just do it. Just pee yourself. And he does. And he pees himself in front of the entire congregation. And it stops being funny because it's so utterly humiliating for the.

this kid and I'm just filled with this sort of sadness for him and it was at that moment my mom leant down and whispered in my ear take off your trousers and I went what and she went take off your trousers and I said but but what why why and he said because he's peed himself and I went I know he he's he's peed himself mom and she went it's the christian thing to do. And so I took off my nice fucking dry trousers and I handed them to this kid with the wet trousers and then my mum and I walked back to the car

in my tidy whiteys down exhibition road with millions of tourists just walking by. And I just thought, this can't be what he wants or it can't be real. Oh, man. Also, you know, you didn't say it, but obviously it was clear from the story. You had no trouble getting your buttons undone,

did it by yourself. No trouble, no! You're the hero of this story. I'm the hero of this story. I'm a really good Christian boy. And double kidney to boot. Double kidney. And then, by the way, right as you're good,

right as you're a good Christian boy, they switch you over to some other religion where you can't take any of the points with you. from the previous religion. It did nothing rolls over. Would your dad just like collect the old books? Would he be like, all right, give me those books? We got new books today.

Yes. Yes, it was a bit like that. Yeah, it was. And my dad, who was a really big drinker. And a hilarious drinker, always super fun. But he was, him sober, as you have to be, as a Mormon, was just, It was just the household was miserable I mean I feel like if you can get over the hump

of like a household with no caffeine and alcohol Like if you can get like two, three years in Where everybody's like off their you know Dependence But I mean early years of Late breaking Mormonism seems like a real drag Yeah and then And then I suppose the end of this story

which is equally sad and hilarious, is that so my dad finally comes out at 63, and to everybody's relief and total non-surprise. So at what age would you have been not surprised to hear that from your dad? Like about 11, 12 onwards. I think we would have gone. So this is about 20 years after that? Yes, yes, exactly.

So, so he, he, he, he comes out as gay and then he falls in love with this man called Andy. And, and, you know, they have a 20 year relationship. And then Andy, sadly, dies. And I'm living in, in New York at this time. And my dad was coming over, you know, to visit me. And, and, and, and just by way, like by way of nothing. thing. He went, oh, I should tell you, I'm a Catholic again. And I went, wait, what? And he went, yeah, I'm a Catholic again. And I went, but how, how does that work? And he went, what do you mean? And I went,

well, how does it work with you're being, you know, gay? And he went, I'm not gay. And I went, what do you, what about your relationship with Andy? And he went, well, that was only sexual for like 15 years and I went, that's really gay. That's super gay. And he got all flinty. And then when my, what I realized was my, my brother had died when he was eight years old, I was 16. And I realized that my father was desperate to get into heaven. And the sort of the, the, the, the whole religion thing was both as supposed to be the sort of bomb, you know, but was ironically the source of all the shame. And he wanted to get into heaven to see, see my brother. But when he died, I was with him and I was getting him ready to go to the, be picked up by the funeral parlor.

This doesn't sound funny. It's going to get there. But in his pocket, I found a vile, little glass vial of Andy's ashes. It was so moving and I wanted to do, I managed to get him into a Catholic graveyard

and I thought, God, I put a bottle of, a little bottle of scotch in his pocket and I put a packet of cigarettes in his other pocket. I thought, all right, well, we've done right by the old boy. I'm in a Catholic grave and they drilled down the thing, right? You know, and then the next day, the next day I'm with my sister and we're lowering him.

It's a howling, he lived in Scotland. It's a howling fucking gale, just like, you know, and I lower him down into the grave, and it hits the water because it's full of water this grave. And I went, oh, I don't want to see that. I want to see that. And I was like, well, you did write by the boy, a packet of cigarettes and a bottle of scotch. And then out loud, I went, lighter! And I'm to this day haunted by this image of him going,

Oh, good boy. Oh, yes. Was Scotland a place, did you go there often as a kid? No. We didn't go, no, no, we didn't go to, we didn't go to Scotland often. He sort of fell in love with Scotland in his later years. But I mean, his name was Thane, which is Scottish name for Earl, like Thane of Corder and Hamlet and whatever. So I think there were definitely Scottish family members and he felt like he was a Scotts by the

by the end for sure. Very British scandal, that was, that was, you were Scottish in that, right? Wasn't that a Scottish castle? Yeah, I was, I was, I was, yeah, the, the guy that I was playing had been, I mean, he's, he, he was a Scottish lad, but he was, he was definitely raised in England and then, you know, what we call public schools, um, which are private schools. schools. I believe there's a really interesting story about that, which is the reason we call private schools, public schools, is they used to be, like Eaton used to be public, and it was a charitable

organization. And then people started, as they realized, the education was so great, they started paying off, you know, the board to get their kid in there. I mean, it's, I think that's how that happened. And they just like, we got to keep the name. It's too good. It's too good. But I, Yeah, I loved doing that with Claire Foy. It was a great. I was a great mini-series. Josh and I once took a vacation to a Scottish castle, and they're not all they're cracked up to be. No.

Like you describing the wind on the day you buried your father is like, and we were there in like August. And it was howling gale. Just howling and just a Scottish castle is mostly like where you go to feel the breeze. Yeah. Yeah, and I remember being in this fancy hotel in, like, St. Andrews or whatever, you know, right on the golf course there. And I was just, like, shivering and I was like, can we, is there, you know, heat? And they went, you know, it's not snowing yet. These are hardy people.

They are hard people. They are hardy, tough people. Did you, did you guys go at it? Where would you travel? Would you go on vacations when you were kids? We used to go to Cornwall. And we lived in this tent in a field. Oh, my God.

And it wasn't like a camping site. It was like my dad used to work on this farm when he was a young lad. And they would let us come and pitch our tent there. And I love, I mean, I loved Commonwealth. And I remember, it was one time, I must have been like 13. And we were in a pub because we were always in a pub with my dad. And I went into the bathroom and I noticed and I thought, I'm 13, right? There's this town called Bude.

At some point I'm going to go down there. I'm just going to be, I'm from London. I'm going to be a hit with the girls. I'm just going to be a hit. And I go into the bathroom of this pub and there's a condom machine, right? And so I was like, it's like, it's a sign. So I've got to get. Stock up.

Get ahead of the game. So I put my 50p or whatever it was in and I turn the thing and the entire machine empties out onto the floor. And initially, I'm like, you know, terrified that somebody's going to come in and then I think, well, maybe I'll be a big hit with the girls. Yeah, an even bigger sign.

And I'm stuffing them in my pockets. And I get back to the, we get back to the tent. I'm going to, what am I going to do with my, every pocket, everything is stuffed full of these condoms? So I put them in my Wellington boots. And so I see,

stuck them all of my Wellington boots like full to the brim. Yeah. Rubbers and rubbers. And there's a howling. Yes, it's rubbers in rubbers. It's like, sells itself. Yeah. And, and, um, I know, I was, I was a tall fella.

So unfortunately, I had the same size shoes as my dad. And there was a howling gale that night. My dad had to go out to fix the tent. And he tried to put on my, my wellingtons and just, and, and, and, and, avalanche of condoms scattered all over the tent ground sheet. Yeah, I don't remember how that. I've probably blanked out what my mom said at that point. Yeah.

It's weird to me that you thought as a 13-year-old boy, the problem would be not having enough condoms when you were sleeping in a tent with your parents. Like, that seems to be the bigger barrier to you sort of closing the deal than safe sex. Yes, exactly. there were compartments. Oh, okay.

Oh, you got a fancy tent. Exactly. Now it's a tent. I would love to have you back to my tent. Excuse me, before you walk away, there are compartments. I haven't really thought it through that much, Seth. I don't think. Yeah.

I don't know what was going on in my head, but maybe that we were going to kind of go back to theirs or something, but my God. And I was so awkward. and but I thought awkward but from London in Cornwall. Yeah. You might be like Brad Pitt. You know what I mean?

It might be. Had you had like girlfriends at 13? No, God, no. Okay. So, yeah. You weren't looking for a relationship. Wait, no. Had you? No.

But I also wasn't buying condoms. Yeah. I wasn't fill my boots full of condoms. I had a better sense of things. Listen, I went into show business. I'm just a deep. optimistic person. Yeah, right, right.

A dreamer. You're a dreamer. Did you, was the first time you came to the States on your own as an adult? Yes. The first time I came to the States was to the Long War Theater in Connecticut there. And it's in the meatpacking place. And it's a rude awakening. As an actor, it was a rude awakening? No, as an actor, it was great.

The show was great, and we had a great time, and it's a, it's a storied theater. But in my head, I thought, I'm going to America, and I'm going to make it and cut to, I'm in the meatpacking district of Connecticut. Right. But yeah, that was my first experience of America. And then I remember getting on the train to come to New York. city and I just couldn't believe. I mean, I'd grown up on all of those great 1970s, you know, Scorsese movies. And yet, and I was so frightened that it wasn't going to sort of deliver that, you know,

and you just, you get out. I got out at Grand Central Station and I was like, fuck me, it's all real. Yeah. Yeah. I loved it. And did you, did you have a sense like when you first saw New York, Would you have predicted then that you would live here as long as it's been home now? No, I mean, it's been home for, what, 24 years or something at this point? No, I fell in love with an American by mistake. And she brought me over like a mailord of Russian bride. And we'd never live together. I mean, I read a little bit about your story.

Yeah, I read a little bit about it last night. I don't know how true what I read was based on Google, but it sounds like one of the most romantic, insane stories wrapped in tragedy. So this is Jennifer Connolly, fantastic actor as well. You guys had been in a movie, Beautiful Mind together, right? Yeah. But no romance starts there. No romance.

I mean, she was, I'd never been that close to anybody that beautiful, you know. I mean, look at the fucking condom fiasco. You know what I mean? It was a long cold. And I've spent time at you and nothing has shown me that you've matured past that moment. No, no. It's something you can't get over. So I sort of figured, I thought rather cleverly to myself that I bet every man that's ever met or has tried to flirt with us.

So I sort of just taught politics with her. And she thought, look, I'm British. I wear glasses. Yeah. She assumed I had read, you know, Swan's Way. You know what I mean? She thought you were smarter than you were. She really did.

And I have just been watching the light die in her eyes for 23 years. She realizes how ill-educated. Well, what of your children is? like a genius, right? Yeah, he's pretty, he's pretty, well, yeah, he's pretty small. I don't mean to mean that one, but isn't, I remember for me being in the show, don't you have like a scientist or a mathematician in the family? That's right.

He is, he's an avionics. He's an aeronautical engineer and he's not mine biologically, which is exactly why he is an aeronautical engineer. So, and again, though, this is obviously like, Jennifer is obviously, you know, she's capable of of creating someone like this so she must have i mean when it dawned on her what you actually were it must have been heartbreaking it was really it was really hardbacking yes i've literally never she should have been a federal prosecutor i've never i've never won a single argument yeah with her ever um because she's brilliant at leaving space you know i might be

hang yourself. Oh yeah. And I might be right. I might, but I carry on fucking talking. And then I say something so awful that the whole show becomes about that now. She's fucking clever. She's really clever. Yeah. So where were we? I've watched the light die in her eyes. Right. But oh, so you do beautiful mind. You trick her into thinking you're, you know, smart. Yeah. I play there was, I play guitar. I play guitar for her. Great. And I'm like, well, Yeah, I played Nick Cave into my arms. And I was like a fucking gutter. But nothing romantic ever happened.

And we just stay friends. But calling a lot. We called each other a lot. And then I was in Umbria in Italy. And I was buying groceries. And I saw this like a tavern. And it had a huge crowd outside like you would get if there was a football match,

but they were silent. So I was kind of, my curiosity was piqued, and I went there, and I looked in, and they were all looking at the TV, and I saw the second plane hit the tower. Right over there.

And I ran home, and then I called, I just found myself calling Jennifer for, like, 48 hours. And, um, at some point, dawned on me. I was like, why am I calling this? Oh, fuck. And I, I kind of realized I was totally in love with her. And so, um, and so I, I, I told us so. And, um, we, we kind of got

together and we hadn't, we literally hadn't, um, we hadn't dated. We haven't lived together. I mean, it was, it was, it was, the stuff of madness. I was shooting a film, I was shooting master and commander in Mexico and I was coming back on the weekends to see her and and then I went home to

England to pack up my things and we got married in Scotland because they will marry it's like the Las Vegas of the north they'll marry anybody did your parents come to the wedding and what did they think about the speed at which this had happened

my parents initially weren't invited to the wedding and then and then I broke down at the end and I invited them and yeah my dad didn't do any we had 10 people at the wedding and we rented this really beautiful like castle outside Edinburgh and we were there for a week with all of our friends and the idea was we'll get married and then we'll play twister and we did and we'll keep it really low key and nobody will know about it and my my my dad god bless him he took pictures and sold them to the press which is the most yeah peak dad's thing that he I don't know if you know I don't know if he deserved a lighter Paul I think that was a good last prank I think that was a good last payback.

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Hey, Sufi. Coming up, our annual trip to Pittsburgh, where, for legal reasons, we're not allowed to say the name of the team that we want to see. Yeah, it's like an office. brand video game where they didn't get the licenses. So we're going to go see the Pittsburgh Football Men. Yeah, we're big fans of the Pittsburgh Football Club, and we're going to go see them on an annual trip, and it's just, it's the best. It's the best. And again, look, the thing about when we go see the football men play, you can be happy, you can be sad based on the outcome,

which is why the part of the trip that is always the nicest, the most consistent, is when we're in the house that we booked up. on Airbnb because then we just get to be a family again. We get to have our little kitchen. We get to have Dad's pretzels. Mm-hmm. And, you know, he's very fussy if he doesn't have his pretzels, so it makes for a better trip.

Yeah. Mom has a gin and tonic because we've bought the stuff. Yeah, dad has his pretzels. Maybe there's a late football game on that we want to watch between San Diego football men and the Denver football men. The Arizona birds that are red. And the Kansas city leaders of a clan. You are at home, which is what you want.

Do you obviously you guys have had two kids together, correct? You and Jennifer? Yeah, I mean, I've raised Kai, my eldest, since he was four. So he really, he fills mine. and genuinely, I mean, there feels no difference between my biological kids and my, and Kai. Yeah. And there was this, he went to Yale to study physics and engineering and whatever, because I didn't understand a word he said to me since he was seven.

whatever it was. And I had this amazing moment. He was in this little band and called Tangled Up and Blue, which is this traditional band that started in the 60s. And every year there's a turnover of new students that take up.

And it's basically a bunch of really rich kids singing about being dusty minors. It's hilarious. And Stephen Colbert's son. Oh, there you go. Great. And there's this tradition where they ask up, you know, one of them asks their parent up. And Kai Wang, I'd like to invite my father up.

And I went, oh, I didn't know David was here. And I wanted to invite my dad up. And I looked around for David, his dad. And I was like, oh, it's me. So I went up and we did this sort of traditional thing where I have to say the drink isn't poisoned. and then I sat down. I was shell-shocked.

And his best friend was sitting next to me, and he went, are you right? And I went, yeah, I mean, he's just, he's not, that's the first time he's ever called me dad. And he went, he always calls you dad to us. And I went, so, yeah, I feel like I've, I've raised three kids, and we're all still super close and we all go on holiday together, you know,

I mean, still. I will tell you that, like, my algorithm has decided at some point due to how I've responded when they've shown me. But, like, videos where children, like, tell a stepfather, like, I'm going to take your last name on a legal doctor. Yeah, so I've seen those. You can't. Or they, like, turn around with their basketball uniform for the first time and show them it's their name on the back. Like, it's just a. Oh, my gosh.

Have you adopt me? Yes. Did you, how much of your kids upbringing, I would assume you bring them back to England? Is that a trip you guys do? The problem with England is that, well, Greece is just right there. You know what I mean? So they tend to come over when I'm working in that damp bog of the land. And then we, I love England.

I do. But I do think it's true. Like even English people are surprised when American show up there for vacation. Yeah, like, what are you doing here? This is a place to work. We don't even have whiskey. Yeah. But we do.

They come over when I'm working. And my son now, my son, Stellan, who is my middle old kid, he is at the Royal College of Music doing his master's in classical composition. So he lives in London. So it's lovely. Whenever I go over there to work, I can hang out with him. That must be so special. When they were all littler, where would you go if you would take vacations, if you really just needed a getaway that wasn't, Jennifer's not working, you're not working, like, let's just go somewhere. Well, we have, I love Greece.

I mean, Europe's great for that. You fly for five hours from London and four hours, and you're in Morocco. You know, you fly for five hours from here and you're in Los Angeles. And it still spells a burgers. And so there's that being able to get them into sort of different cultures and hear different languages spoken. Jennifer's one of those really irritating Americans that speaks lots of languages. She speaks Italian and French. Oh, my God.

And so the kids speak Italian. well, the kids speak French and talk about me behind my back. Well, in front of me, I'm just too stupid and English to be able to speak another language. And so we've done a lot of Europe, but we have a place in Vermont, which I love. And we get up there a lot. And we ski, and then once a year we usually go to Switzerland to ski as well. but we ski in Vermont. At what age, because, you know, I've heard from like about city kids,

which obviously I'm raising younger city kids and yours, at what age are they like bummed to leave the city on weekends? Because like we also get out of the city. And then I do think there's a moment where like the social pull of New York is hard. Like all of a sudden Vermont doesn't sound as enticing. Yeah. For us, it was more like when they had, projects or sports

stuff kind of got in the way of it but also I tend to force the issue you know yeah you know and I I was I was I was really I think I was a difficult father in that regard like about

hey we're going to a party oh yeah who's who's the parent uh well I don't know you could speak to John. So you go and speak to the kid and they're like, oh well my uncle's in town. My parents are like, listen, I admire your balls, but

that's no way my kids come out of your pie. And and, um, and so yeah, we, I was really, I was really, because nobody watched me when I, I, I mean, it was the 70s, right? I mean, and then the 80s and nobody

was watching and I got up to all sorts of shit that I shouldn't be getting up to and I wish I It's so funny how we, it's the same thing, right? Like you, instead of being like, that was great, I'm going to give that to my children. We like, flip it. We're like, you will not. You will not have the fun I had.

I mean, but I remember, like, I grew up in a place called Halsden. Well, we moved from Hals. No, I moved from Wilsden to Halsden because Halsden was up market. And for any people from London who know what Halsden is, like, you know, it's really, it was, it was, it was, it was, it's, those, it was, those, it was, it was, those, it was, it was, those, it was, it was, it's a, it was, a, it's a, a, a sandwich and, and the, she would, she would make a, a sandwich for me, and the sandwich was, um, white bread, butter and sugar. right for energy. And she's like, it'll give you lots of energy.

So I'll eat this like granulated sugar sandwich. And then you'd just be out. And there were no, there were no trees, there was no park, there was a marshalling yard. And it was, it had a billboard,

like hundreds of feet over the marshalling yard that we called the tree house. And we were all in there and we built a tree house in this rickety billboard. And at the end of the street was a working man's club which had barrels of beer outside. And we figured out that if you flipped off the cap and got a stick and took your shoe and smashed it into the top, it would shoot out a jet of what we thought was like lemonade or whatever. We're like, well, this is weird lemonade. And then we were just all like from five years old, just running around the neighborhood drunk.

Oh my God, I just want to, I know I gave you a hard time earlier. You are so much smarter than you should be based on like your diet of sugar sandwiches and summer beers. You are, you're a success story. You're a success story, Paul. I'm a survivor. Yeah, truly. And then you would hit a stick with a shoe onto a barrel of beer. Yeah, and it would shoot out.

And then really what happened in this sort of gray, miserable. London was Star Wars. Star Wars happened. And I was transported into this other world where a kid from nowhere could really become something special. And it changed my life, I think. Star Wars changed my life. Did it change your life in that you were like, I want to be an actor?

Or did it change your life and you were like, there must be something more than shoes and sticks and barrels of people? There must be something more than a sugar sandwich. By the way, until you said Star Wars, if people just listen to that thing, they're like, I think he might have grown up in the 1880s. No, yeah. Oh, Star Wars. Okay, so it was the 70s.

He's a Dickens character. He had a wheel and a stick. Yeah, it really was. It is like a Dickens. My mom told me, when the ice cream van came, I would, everybody would run home to the house to try and get money off of their mom. And I would run to my mom. And I go, the ice cream van is down the road.

And she go, is it playing music? And I go, yeah, it's playing music. She went, that means they're out. Did your, when you, when you started finding success as an actor, was your dad as somebody who had pursued that for a period of time as well, was he excited, proud of you? Where did he land on that being your profession of choice? Yeah, I think he was. I think he was happy for me and proud in the way that he could be.

I mean, he had gone back into the theater at that point because after my brother died and I was out of, my sister and I were out of the house. He, you know, decided he didn't need to sort of earn a, you know, a regular income. And he went and became an actor again and worked and was happy. sort of found himself. And so I think he was, he was, he was thrilled and always, um, super encouraging in, in, in, in that way, you know. Were they, when they would come and see shows and, and happy to come? Yeah.

They would come and see shows and, um, and, uh, my, you know, I would bring them, because they were separate at that time because my, my, uh, My dad had a boyfriend, so my mom wasn't, I don't think, particularly keen on the king. Sure, sure, sure. Fair. The press night with my dad. And my grandmother would come, who I loved. And my mother had found this very, she'd found the most stable guy in England.

You know what I mean? Like just, which after my dad, I totally understand. And but he was very, I remember he came to see a show and I was above a pub. And my grandmother came. And in this show, I had to get, I had to get naked. And I stood up. I had, I got into the show, I get into the bed and I'm totally naked. And I just look up into the audience, which is six feet away.

Right. And, you know, it's a tiny little pub theatre. and there's my grandmother right where I have to stand and put on my trousers. It was terrible. And it was a really great play by a guy called Joe Penhall. And it was called Love and Understanding. And it was really funny.

And it's the play that we ended up bringing to the Long Wharf here. And it was, it ran forever for this little pub theater. And my grandmother. And there's loads of swearing. We went out for dinner afterwards, and my mum's, my mom's boyfriend was like, I thought it was disgusting.

And I was like, oh, I'm so sorry. What did you think was disgusting? It went, all that swearing, it was not necessary. None of that swearing was necessary.

It was disgusting. And you stand in there naked on stage. And my grandmother, who was, you would have thought was the Queen of England, but she actually was brought up above a pub in Nottingham. and had come down and become an actress and just totally invented herself. Anyway, she said, she went, she went, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

This 80-year-old woman, she was so fucking good. She was so, she was such great fun. Oh, that's fantastic. How was, how much older was your sister? Two years older than me, yeah. Gotcha. Were you guys close? Yeah, we were, yes, we're very different people. We're still close. We still talk. We're talking at the moment a lot about our mom, and that's really nice. But we went in totally different direction. She is a very, very shy, thoughtful, self-contained person, whereas I'm an exhibitionist that just, you know, shallow. Took your pants off in front of your grandmother?

You took my pants off in front of my guy. Play or no play. Talk about myself on podcasts. You know, totally often. Well, essentially, she's a good person. Yeah, we invited her. By the way, we only asked you because she said no. It was FYI.

We started very, we went after her heart. Would you visit? Were your grandparents local? Or was your grandmother up in Nottingham? Was it, would you see them? She wasn't in Nottingham at that point. She had come down to seek her fortune in Londontown. And she became quite a star in that era.

In actual fact, she came over with a light operetta called the Merry Widow. And there she met Frank Lesser's pianist, a man called Leslie Kettle, and he became my grandfather. And she said, so he was a New Yorker. And she was doing the show in New York City, I guess, in the... late 30s, early 40s. And he said, I'm totally in love with you and I want to marry you. And she says, well, I go back to England in two weeks and if you can lose that ridiculous accent, you can come. And he did. I never heard my dad, my grandfather speak with an American accent. That's a true story. He was a native New Yorker who I never heard speaking an American accent.

Wow. That's incredible. Well, see, again, it's no surprise, like, how your marriage started. This was, you came from a long line of people who make bold, impulsive choices and then just stick with them. That's right. I'm not convinced that you don't have an American accent. You put this British one on to get Jennifer. It's true. I'm from Hoboken, actually. This is just, it's always such a delight to see you.

And this has been such a fantastic conversation. I'm so excited for Vision Quest. It's good. It's really, I mean, I'd say that anyway, but it's actually genuinely really good, and it's much nicer to be outselling something that you really believe in. The show's great. I love an actor who admits that there are times, you'd be selling it anyway, but. Oh, for sure.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I need, I got to keep the kids in private school, you know. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. I'm out there hustling. Dude, I'm with you. I'm on the hustle as well. So I can't wait for that.

And, you know, I will say, for my money, Wanda Vision is the best television show about superheroes that's ever been on television. That's really kind. And I think it's a worthy finale to all of that. And I'm really proud of it. Can't wait. We are going to now give you our speed round questions before we let you go.

Oh, Jesus. All right. Here we go. You can only pick one of these. Is your ideal vacation relaxing, adventurous, or educational? Not educational. I think it's relaxing. All right.

No one thought you were going to say education. Nobody thought we were. No. What am I kidding? You didn't have to make the face. Yeah. Even if it was, even if it was, you know, even when I go skiing, I basically ski to lunch. Yeah.

What is your favorite means of transportation? Oh, that's not on either rule. My favorite boat. I love boats. Okay, great. If you could take a vacation with any family, alive or dead, real or fictional, other than your own family, what family would you like to take a vacation with? I would like to take a vacation with... Oh, my God.

That's so huge. I would like to take a vacation with John Candy's funny. Yeah, yeah. And I mean, I think it's safe to say it was probably Matthew Reese until a couple weeks ago. Yeah, no, that's over. He's dead to me. If you had to be stranded on a desert island with one member of your family, who would it be? It has to be.

I mean, it's the truth. She's my best friend and it's so soppy to say it. But my wife, yeah. That's great one. What is your dream destination for a family vacation? Yeah. Okay. It's Zermat in Switzerland.

There are no cars and the skiing is amazing and the food's fantastic and the Vino is great. I love it. Great. You are from London. If you had to get more families to come visit London, what would you tell them about that city? I would tell them that you can be in a pub all day long with your kids and nobody will look at you askance. Pretty good. Sold.

Great advice. Great tip. And then Seth has our final questions. Paul, have you been to the Grand Canyon? I have, yeah. Was it worth it? Not really. I mean, it was really grand.

And you do go up and you go, fuck, that's a huge hole. And then you're like, yeah, I mean, it's, yeah. And then you're like, where's the pub? And there's like, there's no pub? And you're like, oh, what's the point? Why am I here? Yeah. No, it was, it was amazing.

But then I, it says more about me that I, the kind of, the awe of it really diminish really quickly. That's how I felt. And I don't care. I don't really mind what it says about me. I think it says I have an active mind that doesn't, can't spend a lot of time on how big the hole was. Yeah. Yeah. And now people are talking about this hole and they're not talking about me.

Where's the upside? Seth just wants to get back to his algorithm and see stepfathers. I want to see a stepfather find out. Yeah, he's just. Paul, you're the best. Love to your family. This was so much fun. You too.

I'd love for us all to have dinner at some point. Yes, let's do it. But not while we'll cut Matt out. Yeah, yeah. He would have been in. Last year he would have been in. Unbearable. Unbearable.

Great to meet you Thanks buddy Take care Bye now Take care everyone