Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers - STEPHEN MERCHANT Drifted Out to Sea

Episode Date: May 7, 2024

Stephen Merchant joins Seth and Josh on the pod to talk about his hometown of Bristol, having a “pirate-y” accent, how his family lied about owning a boat, the law of Finders Keepers, and so much more! Sponsors:NissanThanks again to Nissan for supporting Family Trips, and for the reminder to chase bigger, better, more exciting adventures. And enjoy the ride along the way. Learn more at nissanusa.com AG1Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkAG1.com/trips. That’s drinkAG1.com/trips. Check it out.  Aura FramesVisit AuraFrames.com to get $30-off plus free shipping on their best-selling frame. Use code TRIPS  at checkout to save.  Perfect for Mother's Day Gifting!  

This episode of Family Trips is brought to you by the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. With seven drive modes, the Pathfinder's available intelligent four-wheel drive is built for even the most epic journeys. Learn more at nissanusa.com. Hey, Bashi. Hey, Sufi. I'm going to bring something up. We can edit it out if you don't want to talk about it.

Okay. I was talking to our friend Liz Kakowski, who was on your Meow trip. Meow was the college improv show we were both in at Northwestern University. Had its 50th anniversary. Yeah. She told me a really sweet story about you. Said you were on stage. They asked everybody to say, what advice would you give to yourself when you were a younger college student?

Yeah. Said you reflected back. About how maybe I was a bit of a jerk back in those days. Yeah, maybe just a little temperamental. She did not use the word jerk. Yeah. I sort of, I felt in a way that I was cheating because I offered sort of a blanket apology to my cast for any times that I might have been a bit too,

I don't know what the word is. Yeah, I don't know what the word is. Well, I mean, you famously like. I was a hothead. You hothead. You would come off after a bad college improv scene and maybe like kick a wall or something. Right.

To a point where I actually did kick a hole through the wall of Boom Chicago, the comedy theater we worked for in Amsterdam. So wait, why was that a cheat, though? Well, because it was just sort of like it's one of those apologies of like if I offended you ever, sorry. But I didn't have specifics. specifics but i sort of feel like when you know when you go to reunions i feel like we all had like our nemesises our nemesis uh back in the day and you know sometimes people be like oh what was it like when like you and that guy saw someone in a cast was like, you know, it wasn't all great for me being in Meow. Like, I felt bad about myself a lot of the times.

And I sort of had that in my head. And for anyone that was in my cast, I was like, oh, if you were holding on to something all these years, and if I had done something, I at least want you to know that I feel bad about it. Here's why I think it's great that you said it. And it would be something that I would say about myself if it was true about me, but I was always great to everybody. But no, I think,

because the current, there were college students there. I think they're the ones that it's worth. Because the thing is, you could say to any college, if there's any college improvisers listening, none of you in 30 years are going to look back and say, I just wish I'd been harder on everyone. I just wish, looking back at my time in my college improv troupe, I wish I'd been, I wish I'd pushed us harder and been more

disappointed in the work we were doing. And so, uh, uh, anyway, I just wanted to bring that up because I just thought that was a nice message because I think that is the thing about reunions is you just mostly look back at the things you were most upset about in college and realize, oh, these are, these people are going to be close friends of mine in 30 years. Also, one of my hero comedian people from being in college, Ed Herbstman, was a year older than you, I think. Yes. And after I said that, he's like,

oh, man, I wish you could have apologized for me being such an asshole. I mean, we all, I mean, I did. There was a famous time, one of my fellow cast members, Rob Janis, where I walked off. A rehearsal, not even in front of an audience. Somebody tagged me out in like freeze tag and I threw my hat against the wall. So, anyway, good messages to remember. The other thing I'll just tee up real quick got a mom and dad weekend coming up

Ponkas are coming to see the kids so hopefully we'll have some good good family stories they're bringing some toys and it's very sweet because dad always says are they old enough to play with this safely? Yeah.

So they got him a live badger. Also, Alexi's out of town. And one of these days we do, I would like to have Mackenzie on. I would like to have Alexi on. I mean, I think if we get the Ash family on, I mean, we could probably do a whole. It would be like serial. We could do like 12 episodes of them.

There are five people who are incredibly close and not one of them has a memory that overlaps. But Alexi's in Spain. So, you know, maybe she'll have some takes on Spain for us when she gets back. But I got all three kids and we're off to a hot start Axel

middle one he knows when the parents gone fakes a nightmare crawls right into bed so does he seem distraught after these nightmares

he no he like comes in he's like I had a nightmare and then like by the time he's like

under the cover he's like so what about you have you been having dates? But that was, I am very much digging my time with all three of them. So I'm not complaining. Not trip related, but I had something, I don't know if it's a moral, it's not a moral quandary.

Okay. I'm going to tell this story. You let me know what you think. Okay. So I go see a movie with our friend Jill Benjamin. Yeah. And all these theaters that sort of like shut down during the pandemic, everyone's got nice chairs now. Like full-on kickback recliners.

And I just sort of like, I wanted to take my shoes off. Because I'm in a dark theater and I feel like I'm going to be fine. And my shoes were a little bit tight and I didn't take them off. Because I was like, is this weird? Is like the person next to me, who's separated by a good distance. I mean, they're in the next seat, but this is a big recliner. So I don't take them off. And then I go see another movie later in the week, and I'm sitting in this sort of the handicap aisle.

I got a ticket very late. That whole aisle was open. You get one of those seats, and it's like, this is a companion seat to someone with a wheelchair. If someone shows up, you got to find a seat. We can't promise you a seat. I'm like, fine. So I'm sitting there, and I'm like, I am going to take my shoes off. And I do. So I've got the biggest aisle possible, but it's also sort of a thoroughfare where someone has to walk if they need to go to the bathroom or whatever. And as soon as I take my shoes off, this woman walks

and she runs right into my legs and knocks them off my chair. And I feel like it was the universe telling me, don't take your shoes off, man. Yeah. I was going to, I'm glad that you came to that conclusion. Because if the conclusion had been, am I in the wrong? Because I will say, an able-bodied man in a handicapped seat with his shoes off at a movie theater. It's almost, they say he's almost never in the right. I was in a companion seat. Sure, sure.

That's, take it up with the jury. There was no one else in the row. Yeah, yeah, no, again. We've all heard your case, Mr. Myers. So like my, you know, I don't have stinky feet. That's not ever anything I've been accused of. So what do you think? Am I allowed to take my shoes off in a theater or no?

You're not. You're not? You're really not. Well, okay. Yeah, it's just, and I get it. And, you know, I think we all agree. I mean, I shouldn't even take my shoes off at home. My feet smell so bad.

Right, but you can't even wear shoes into your apartment. No, you cannot wear shoes into my apartment. There's a sign in English and Spanish that tells you to take your shoes off. Yes, which I should know my brother-in-law did as a joke. There's no real reason it's in a two. He was being passive-aggressive towards his sister. So I, what I like about not having shoes in the apartment is when you go out

with the kids, right? Yeah. And it's now, we're in the hallway and it's, you know, trying to get the,

getting shoes on them. Shoe, shoe, shoe, shoe. Then I get my shoes on, shoe, shoe.

Then I ring, you know, the elevator button and then one of the kids says, I forgot my glasses. And that's the fun part because now I got to take my shoes off. Oh, yeah.

To run inside and get glasses. I was once out on Martha's Vineyard at your house. And I just wanted to go inside and get a beer. And I want to say mom and dad were there. I don't think you were there. And I walked in and I was like, I'm not taking my shoes off just to go get this beer. And I took these like three steps. And then Arielle, your sister-in-law walked in. I didn't know she was there. And she walks across the room and I was panicked because I had been caught. Sure, of course, yeah. But then she had Crocs on and I was like, what?

I was like, you are wearing Crocs in this house? And she said, she ain't here. Oh, look at that. In Alexi's defense, one time I wore my shoes over to one of our friends' apartments. And because of the germs on the soles of my feet, everybody died. You never see those friends again. No, I mean, we got out. And she's like, they're going to know it's your shoes.

So we threw those away. So then I walked home barefoot. So yeah, that's fun, though. You know, it was genuinely really upcoming. Definitely our tallest guest ever. And truly one of my favorite. Some wonderful stories. Yeah.

And it makes sense because this Stephen Merchant, our guest, is behind some of the greatest television shows you've ever watched. He's obviously an incredible storyteller. He's a wonderful hang. And you're going to listen to him right after you listen to our friend, Jeff Tweedy. Family trips with the Myers brothers. Family trips with the Myers brothers. Here we go.

Hello. Well, well, well Look at this, gentlemen This is pretty exciting And I like the fact we've all gone for a neutral backdrop Very neutral Very neutral Seth, you snuck in a small, like an edge of a plant

Yeah I basically, I said, get me a plant They said, the plant's more than you want to pay And I said said get me a plant they said the plant's more than you want to pay and i said give me give me a plant edge yeah i don't mean to i don't mean to talk um show business but when we did the uh office on the bbc years ago 20 odd years ago we um we had a plant like that we just edged it into the frame when someone was doing a talking head because we just like the idea there was just a whiff of nature in an otherwise sterile environment. Yeah, well, right.

It's the exact sort of attempt that that office would make. Exactly. Someone's going to try. Someone in the office is going to try to get a plant in. Exactly. Is that a completely bare whiteboard behind you? Because that to me is sort of Los Angeles purgatory. No, this is,

I mean, it is a wall that will allow for post-it notes, you know. Gotcha. Cards, but no, it's just because I, all the other interesting stuff I'm looking at, photos of myself, awards, you know. Oh, the awards, right. But yeah, behind me, there's no room here for,

I was thinking maybe I should paint the wall. I think this really shows where you and Ricky diverge, because I definitely Zoomed with him a few times during the pandemic on my show, and the awards were not... They were very clear for us to see. Not in his eyeline. Yeah, right. This is a little intimidating for me, Stephen,

because I feel like also you and Ricky were maybe one of the first things I listened to that I realize now was a podcast. People often say to me, you should think about doing a podcast. Yeah. And I always take that as a great insult because, as you say, we were podcast pioneers. But I remember we once got in the, I don't know if it's a big thing here, but in the UK there's the Guinness Book of World Records.

Sure. Longest fingernails, whatever. Yeah, very big here. We got into the Guinness Book of World Records for the most downloaded podcast, but I think there were only three others. Yeah. And it doesn't really count. And we did it before it became the moneymaker that it is,

and I'm sure you hope this will be. Yeah, no, I was actually going to ask, because I feel like that's early 2000s. Yeah just that's the real sad thing you had a very popular podcast and you got out before there was money yeah it kills me it kills me there's a couple of other things like that they said to us do you want to direct the pilot episode of the american office and we said no why would we do that not realizing that you get paid forever if you direct the pilot of something. That's one where I give you full

credit for your choice only because you didn't know how much money you were turning away. Creatively, it didn't make sense for you guys to do it. Making the Guinness Book of World Records for most downloaded podcast, I hope you bought a book in that year because I'm sure by now it's been surpassed. So if you have the 2002 Guinness Book and you're in there.

Exactly. It has been surpassed. And I was very proud to get in there because I remember when I was at school, Mark Johnson claimed to be in the Guinness Book of Records because there was an entry for the largest football stadium crowd ever. And he claimed he'd been in the stadium that day. Oh, wow. That's a real... And wore that as a badge of honor. The definition of in on a technicality.

Yes. As a child, was the Guinness Book of World Records something that you got your hands on a lot? Did you pour through that? Or is it something that came to you later when you actually were in it? It was a big thing at our school and people got very excited about it each year.

But for some reason, it's sort of the thrill of it passed me by. I would see things like, I remember there was one, the reason I mentioned it is there was one about the longest fingernails. Yes, I was just going to say that. And they curl around, don't they?

Eventually they curl around. But I just remember thinking that sounded horrific. Yeah. It just sounded like a purgatory. He couldn't do so many things he couldn't do. It wasn't nice to look at. It was fascinating. It was not nice to look at.

Yeah. He's not going bowling. Yeah. There were some, I remember that. I remember some heavyset twins on motorcycles. Yes. I believe that was also. But that fingernail guy, that fingernail guy, he's got to still be in there. I'm sure no one's ever like, I'm going to try to pass him. Like this is going to, will be my next endeavor.

There was a British TV show called Record Breakers that was, I think, affiliated with the Guinness Book of Records. And so that was my go-to. Instead of reading the book, I would watch the show, and they would have people on that would try and, in as far as the BBC could afford it, try and break records on the show. So, you know, tap dancing, or like you say, as many people on a motorcycle at once.

And that was a must-see. Yeah. Again, I think we're similar. The three of us are the same. But I do remember a big, thick Guinness book was the kind of book you would want to check out of the school library and bring home and sort of leaf through. Yes.

And you also realized, I think, why after a couple years, you're like, I think it's still going to be this building. That's right. But of course, since I was in school, the buildings have changed. I definitely remember Sears Tower was the building for a while. Yeah, that's right. Just endless volumes with the same information. Maybe I'll get your kids a copy, Seth, of a new one. That would be nice.

And then you won't run it down like you ran down the Light Rite. Here, oh yeah, Josh recently got a toy for the kids and they ran them down. But here is the record I want to know. What has been the record in the Guinness Book of World Records the longest? What's the longest, most unbroken

Guinness Book of World Record record? Oh, yeah. Anyway, we'll shout that out to our friends at Guinness. Like you say, it probably is something that doesn't involve a human, right? Yeah, right. Sort of Grandest Canyon. Yeah, Grandest Canyon. That's good foreshadowing.

Is it the brewery Guinness? Is that who puts that out? Is it the same Guinness or is it a different organization? I think it is the same Guinness. Yeah. It's sort of like a great pub trivia thing. Is it that or is it Alec Guinness? Is it one of the two Guinnesses?

Is it one of the two Guin-I I came in knowing? So you, Stephen, you grew up in Bristol, correct? Yes. And tell us a little bit about Bristol, because I'm always fascinated, and this is a shameful thing, even for sort of anglophile Americans like Josh and I, I think we think everything in England is posh. Yes, right. Okay, well, yes, Bristol is about a three-hour drive out of London, which sounds like nothing to an American. You could commute that, I'm sure, but in England, that's an age away.

And so the idea of ever going from Bristol to London seemed very ambitious and very exotic. And it's a sort of mid-sized city, and it has its posh, expensive areas, but most of it is a sort of middle or working class place. And my father was a plumber and a builder, so we were resolutely sort of working class with aspirations to middle class. And I have an accent which, to you, I no doubt sound like Hugh Grant or, you know, Prince William. But to English ears, I have a sort of regional, dare I say, yokel accent. Interesting. And if you keep going southwest past Bristol, you eventually wind up in Cornwall, which is where generally the pirate accent is most associated you know the yard

interesting yeah yeah because i think an actor who played uh long john silver early on in an adaptation used that voice and that sort of became set in stone then so to an english ear i sort of have a piratey yokely accent which suggests you know a lack of sophistication a lack of education probably inbreeding that's how i come over to other english people but to you like i say i signed um if given if given a list of a hundred professions i would have uh a pirate maybe would have been low high low to high 90s for what i thought that was the accent of. Well, I didn't realize I had an accent until I went to university because I'd never met, I'd never left Bristol. So I, and then I got to university and people started mocking the accent. All right there, all right, you know, and just, it's an accent which people feel very comfortable mocking in the UK. Yeah. Did you ever try to

soften it or tweak it? Or it was just that was, you know, that was you? Yeah. So, for instance, in the West Country, we would say, I'm taking a bath. Whereas posh English people would say, I'm taking a bath. And so I did try to say the word bath correctly, but that was sort of it. So I sort of, I still sounded like me. All right, I said, I'm not going to take a. No, I got to go down to take a bath. And it would just be that one word that would say.

And then you also like forced it a lot. And all the friends in school were like, why is this guy always talking about baths? Why does he never take showers? Yeah, we're in school. So, and then how far away, that's fascinating to me as well, that three hours is a lifetime away. Yeah. Because, so where did you go? in england did you go to uh university then so i went to the university of warwick which is near a place called coventry that's in the midlands and uh and um that like i said was the first place i discovered that i had an accent and the first time i really encountered class

because i think you think of england as a very-driven place, which it is. But because I grew up in my little suburb of Bristol with other middle-class kids, I didn't realize that there were people that went to private schools and their fathers were rich. And that was just, it was shocking to me. It was dumbfounding to me. Obviously, I knew it existed, but it didn't, I'd never, I was just in a very was it was it was dumbfounding to me obviously i knew it existed but it didn't i'd never i was just in a very i was in a little bubble i think did you was it uncommon for somebody from bristol to end up in the midlands for university or was that sort of normal state of well certainly in my family i think i was the first person in my family to go to university to even leave bristol really and we've done a little bit of research to try and find the

family you know history and we can't find any evidence of anyone ever leaving the town ever doing a job that wasn't a sort of manual labor or digging ditches or working in a factory um confusingly my last name is merchant and so you'd think traditionally right the the origin would be that somewhere in the past there was a merchant. We can find no evidence of any merchant trading. So I don't know whether one of my ancestors just met a merchant trader in the street and like beat him to death and stole his identity. Your original last name was Pirate. That's right.

That's right. Yeah. Hey, we're going to take a quick break and hear from some of our sponsors. This episode of Family Trips is supported by the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. From muddy jungle paths to snowy trails to rolling sand dunes, the

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fun comes from getting there. Very well said, Pashi. Whether getting there is a new physical place or just the end of an amazing story told by one of our guests. That's why we're excited to partner with Nissan to celebrate adventurers everywhere. So thanks again, Nissan, for supporting Family Trips and for the reminder to chase bigger, better, more exciting adventures. And enjoy the ride along the way. Learn more at NissanUSA.com. Support for Family Trips

comes from AG1. Hey, Pashi. Yes, Ufi. I gave AG1 a try because I was feeling a little stressed. You know what I'm stressed about? What's that? Gotta record all these podcasts. Oh, yeah. I get a little stressed too. You know why I'm stressed?

Why? I want better nutrition. Oh, interesting. And have you found that AG1 has ticked that box for you? It certainly has. I mean, I start every day with AG1, and I feel like it just starts me with a great sort of baseline boost for my health to get me more energy through the day, to feel better, to know that I'm starting with something really, really healthy. And, you know, I would like to think maybe some people start their day with this podcast, and maybe this gets them feeling good, which is why it is very nice to partner with AG1, who's hopefully doing the same thing for you as well.

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and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash trips. That's drinkag1.com slash trips. Check it out. So were your grandparents around then? Were they close to where you grew up? They were around the corner and spent a lot of time there. My grandmother's claim to fame, Mark Johnson's claim to fame was being in the Guinness World Records.

My grandmother's claim to fame was that she had worked in a boot factory with Cary Grant's father. Now, Cary Grant did grow up in Bristol and left early and he's the great, he's the great sort of, he's the great hero of Bristol, Cary Grant.

But, but my grandmother would say, yeah, I worked with Cary Grant's father and he was better looking than his son. Oh, he was a handsome lad.

That was the claim to fame that he was more handsome. I mean, it sounds like she got a great thrill out of it. She did. Huge thrill. I also think that's a real, that's a good tidbit to share.

It's one thing to have worked with Cary Grant's father, but to be able to also have the detail that he was the looker. Exactly. The heartbreaking thing about Cary Grant is he went through his whole life knowing his dad was the hot one. That's right. Exactly. So you have one sister?

Is that right? One sister, yeah. Older, younger? Younger by four years, yeah. Okay. And were you two close? I think we were pretty close. Yeah.

I mean, we didn't hang out and, you know, there are some people that go to clubs and bars and all that stuff together. We didn't really do that. But we, no, but we were close and I think remain close, yeah. And we didn't really argue. Is she still in England? She's still in Bristol.

Okay, great. And is the stretch in British schools, is it such here that I guess if you're four years apart, you might keep missing each other at school? Were you in school together? There was a period when we were in school together yes as i recall yeah but i don't remember yeah didn't really hang out together right yeah well she's so much is it four years younger it's quite a lot isn't it when you're a kid yeah yeah so are you

so just to clarify then you were both the first uh to leave bristol and still the only it sounds like i believe so yeah yeah we have this show i don't know if i think you there's versions of it who do you think you are finding your roots do you know that yeah yeah it would be very funny to do one on yours where they would just say well we we didn't really have to do much well i think i think because i think what they often do with that show is they do a little bit of cursory research before they approach you. Yeah. And I think if they have a tour with me, they know there's nothing there of any interest. You were on a whiteboard and they removed you.

They were like, let's just, nah. Exactly. So you grew up in this middle class Bristol. It doesn't seem like you went very far afield. Did you, as a family, take trips? We went on vacation. Let's start there. We went on vacation to the same seaside town

every single year from certainly when I was born until I was probably, well, until about 1991, 1992. So that was, you know, I was in my late, mid to late teens by the time I ever went on an airplane. So we went to the same little Devonshire village, seaside village, and we stayed, we always stayed on the same farm. It was a dairy farm that rented out a cottage

and we stayed in there. And there was, so you'd get woken up by, by herds of cows on the way to milking. And to this day, I can't fully relax without the smell of shit in my nostrils. You know, I never really think I'm on vacation until I can smell that. And yes, we went there every year. And so that was our chief holiday, maybe twice a year. And then trips.

I mean, I guess we did trips with school, but I don't remember. Yeah, there's still huge portions of of england i've never visited because we very rarely left bristol did you so when you took when you went to devonshire how long a trip was that for you guys from well the irony is that was probably about as long as it would take to go to london yeah gotcha and so you go there for a week you would stay in a so you would go there for a week? You would stay in a cottage for a week? Go there for a week, sometimes two. And my father, something that's key, I think, to this conversation is my father is and has always been a very thrifty man. And I recall when I was young, my sister said to him, why is it that all my friends get a pound from the tooth fairy and I only get 10 pence?

And my father looked at my mother and said, because all the other tooth fairies have wives that work. And that was his sort of sarcastic tone for much of our childhood. And that was sort of, he was always looking for the cheap way around things things and so i think the farm was probably cheap devonshire was you know one half a tank of petrol and i remember at one point he bought a small three-man fiberglass sailboat that was his big expense yeah and he would take that we would drive that down and we

would tow that to the thing and we'd have to put that on the beach for the week, and then you could use it whenever you need. But he did not want to pay the small fee that the beach charged for keeping your boat there. So we would arrive, say, on a Friday night, he would wake me up, as a sort of, you know, in my 10 or 11, he'd wake me up, and we, under cover of darkness,

would wheel the boat through the town, through the sleepy town, onto the beach and kind of bury it there among other boats. And then we would go down to the beach the following day and we would sit near it, but not right close to it. And then if anyone came by,

the harbour master came by and said, anyone know whose boat this is? We as children were all told to lie. And then if anyone came by, the harbormaster came by and said, anyone know whose boat this is? We as children were all told to lie. And you know that thing where, as a parent, you tell your kids not to lie, don't steal, don't be deceitful,

but do lie about certain things. One of them being, this boat is not ours. Wow. Did you look forward to the Devonshire trips? I did look forward to the Devonshire trips. Yes, yes. And I kind of, you know, again, in a weird way,

I suppose the familiarity of going every year actually made it quite reassuring and something to look forward to. Would there be a similar cast of characters? Like, were there people who would go the same week every year so you'd bump into sort of your vacation pals? Well, it was more that we would often go with another family. And so their daughter was a little older than me.

She would be there. And then later, as I got a little older, I would bring a pal. So I had someone to goof around with, you know. Yeah. And what was a goof around day at an English seaside town? And what was a goof around day at an English seaside town? Well, yes, you'd go to the beach if the weather was good. And of course, in England, that was hit and miss.

So it was a real roll of the dice. 50-50 on a week? Would that be a good week? A good week would be 50-50, yeah. Okay. And we talk an Iraqi beach? This Iraqi beach? Well, again, as a kid knowing no better, it seemed very exciting.

And I go back occasionally now as just a sort of nostalgia trip. It's not the nicest beach. And there was often, I don't know if you have them in the U.S., but we have a thing called windbreaks, which is essentially a portable canvas wall that you sort of hammer into the sand. And you basically sort of cower behind this to stop the wind blowing in off the ocean. So you're sort of cowering behind this canvas wall

and you have to keep moving the wall depending on the shift of the wind. So you're sort of hiding behind there. You're constantly waiting for clouds and trying to judge when the rains are coming. And in England, you'll sit through a light rain shower. You're not all leaving for that, right? You'd make do with that.

And maybe there'd be a little... Maybe we'd go out in the little boat if it was an adventurous day. Are you an accomplished sailor on this? No. He had a little outboard motor that he bought third hand. And one time we went out in this little boat, and it was he and my dad and I, and the motor gave up. The motor stopped working because it was cheap, and there was no wind.

And now we're just drifting. And we're slowly drifting further and further out to sea. And if we keep going, we're slowly drifting further and further out to sea and like if we keep going we're gonna hit france like that's how it's getting quite desperate and we're we're rowing but we're making no progress and we're getting quite panicky because this is obviously before cell phones and eventually a sort of ferry boat comes by in the distance and it chugs along and it's coming towards us and eventually the captain shouts do you need help do you want us to tow us in and my dad says to me i'm about to say yes of course and my dad says we

he says the law of the sea means that if they rescue you another ship can lay claim to yours and i'm like yeah but dad if he doesn't tow us in we're gonna drift out to our death and and and so the captain's like do you want us to tow us in and my dad is like i'm thinking it over and in the end obviously he did the right thing and you know eight hours later we washed up in france no we he did eventually kind of let them throw us a rope but he was petrified the whole journey back he's like they're gonna claim the boat they glim and of course the guy doesn't i don't even know if that is a rule of the sea but he didn't claim the boat does he want your boat like is it like oh it's gonna be a hassle if i take this boat it's so funny it is really, it's really finders keepers.

It is like somebody, like, like as if that was in the, the magnet card. he very much operated on that policy, my father, because you say that my, we one time went to a theme park,

which is very low rent British theme park. And I found a camera, like a point and shoot camera under a bench. And I brought it to my dad and I'm like, dad, I just found this camera. We should hand it in. And he's like, wait, but the, like, dad, I just found this camera. We should hand it in. And he's like,

and he did say to me, have you not heard of the law, finders keepers, losers weepers? Which as a kid, I'm like, okay, I guess that's a law because Papa says so. And so we just kept this camera forever. That was became the family camera. And we like finished off the film and there's like,

you know, the first 10 photos are like another family just smiling for the camera they would never see again. And then us. And we just kept it. And it was that thing, it was that weird, it was not seen as sort of thieving. It was just kind of bending the rules. I think the real takeaway here

is if your dad was a ferry captain, he definitely would have taken that boat. I like that your dad's initial reactions also don't necessarily use words. It's all a collection of sounds. At least he admitted

the boat was his when the ferry guy went to throw it around. We just rented it. So back to in Devonshire when you're out with a pal. You go to the beach on a nice day, but what's the town like if you're going to sort of play around? Is there a boardwalk? No, I mean the town nearest to the farm was pretty small i think there was a couple of pubs one of which had a pool table uh so we did play a lot of pool when they would let us in and it had a jukebox and i remember playing love shack a lot in the

in my later years there was a little place where the owner uh sold ice creams and he knew my dad they had sold insurance together back in the day. And he was always very sweet. He would give us one free ice cream, my sister and I, per trip. But I later discovered from my dad that that man was also a neo-Nazi. Yeah, I think he may have been thrown out of the insurance business for his far-right views. But again, my dad very happy for us to accept ice creams from him. Right.

He's like, look, if a man of good morals was offering free ice cream, we'd go there. But unfortunately, we only have the one option. If the weather was bad, we would sometimes do a little drive and we would go to larger towns nearby. So one was called Plymouth that was a sort of um coastal that had formerly been a kind of uh like a I think they may have had a military base at one point and um it was that was a larger town and it was a pretty grotty town that you

wouldn't but you know it had shops and toy stores and movie theaters and things. And so we might, you know, do that. You said bad amusement parks. I do have just, I feel like from British crime shows, just a very sad sort of Ferris wheel while Helen Mirren or Robbie Coltrane is like finding a body under a dock. Is that sort of what they are? That was pretty much it. And yeah, there would probably never too late,

you say there'd be a section cordoned off with police tape. And then to get out to that, if you had a boat with the boat, did you have the boat in Bristol? Did you tow it back and forth? Yeah, the boat would sit in the front yard in Bristol. Okay. Year round. Year round. It would sit there. Year round front yard boat yeah you'd see it in the winter with snow on the top and

you know there were some people in Bristol that had speed boats you know the fancy people that had speed boats we just had this

tiny little fiberglass boat which given how cheap my dad was I'm surprised he bought it I don't know why he bought it

but that would just sit there do you think he loved it do you think he loved being out on the water when the motor was working? Yes, I think he did. I mean, we did. We did. We did. I think after the scare, after what we'll call the big scare, we definitely weren't as enthusiastic as we'd been in the past. Our parents were just in Turks and Caicos and they were on floating rafts in the ocean and they were getting

taken out. And I mean, we'll have them on to tell the story, but a guy on a jet ski had to tow them back in. And it was really like they were both very panicked. My mother, very panicked. Yeah. Well, that reminds me, with my family, my entire family, my parents and my sister with her kids, they came to California when I was here one time. And we went up to Big Bear. And it was in the summer, so we went on Big Bear Lake. And again, there were kind of raft, pontoon raft things that you take around or whatever they're little.

But it says, a sign says, do not jump in the lake. But the lake is very appealing it's luring you and we're out there and i'm on this thing with my family and i decide to jump in the lake not a reckless man not an adventurous guy not a great swimmer but for what i'm just like how dangerous can it be and i jump in the lake and i realized the reason they have this sign is you can't get back on board the boat there's no way to get back on board because it's kind of kind of got a curved underside and there's no ladder to climb on so now i'm just trying to climb onto this boat and i can't do it and i don't want to scare the kids that their uncle is might be about to drown but i'm getting and the motor is

still going and so i get i feel like my legs are getting my long six foot seven inch legs are getting dragged towards the motor and i'm just foreseeing this horrific bloodbath like how is that the way i go and in the end i sort of managed to whisper to my brother-in-law that I think I'm in trouble here. And he managed to sort of help haul me on board and my legs are cut up by the kind of underside of the boat. And I'm sort of dragged back on. And I'm just like, what is it about me and water? That's the way I'm going to go. That's how I'm going to end my life, definitely.

You're obviously such a smart person it makes me so happy that you thought this was a scam that they said don't jump in you're like this is nice try I see right through you we've paid six bucks for three hours

I'm jumping in the water I mean it wouldn't take the guy that rented you that boat very long to say like and if you do jump off there's just no way to get back on yeah yeah just a sign that sort of is like goading you um do you take many vacations with your sister's family as an adult very frequently no in fact the last sort of holiday well I remember the last holiday we took as a family before she got married, when we were still young, was we went, so there were two,

we eventually did a foreign trip to Greece. And that was a big deal for me because we were going on a plane. And Greece, again, from obviously from England, not a million miles away, but it felt so exotic. And I remember arriving, and they opened the plane door, and the heat hit me. And I'd never experienced heat like that before, because in England, you just never get up to those temperatures of Greece in the summer. But Greece in the summer is like, what, madly hot. I mean, crazy hot.

And obviously that was the cheapest time to go was when it was at its peak temperature, which is why we were there. And we arrived and my father had rented a self-catering apartment with no air conditioning because that would obviously be more expensive. And so we landed in Greece and my father straight away within seconds was like, it's too hot.

It's too hot. This is crazy. What are you doing? So we spent, we rented a car no air conditioning and so my sister and i have our heads out like a couple of labradors out the window we're driving around we spent day one looking to buy electric fans for the apartment so we eventually get electric fans we bring them back to the apartment we're lying in there windows are open fans just turning hot hot air around the apartment uh there's a taverna next door goes on till 2 a.m windows are open can't shout the noise i remember they were played they played mainly european music except nothing compares to you by shenado connor that would come on a loop the cassette tape would

get around to that every 30 minutes and it's been seven hours my dad furious so day two spent trying to buy earplugs that was the first two days of our five day time in greece how old were you then oh what was i like 14 something like that oh yeah wow anyway so that was that and then, the big trip was a cruise. When I turned 30, my dad turned 60, we went on a cruise with my sister, the four of us on a cruise ship. And that was, oh, boy. Now, at 30, do you have a, have you, you're a success at 30? I'm a success.

I've made a little money. Gotcha. But I just, for some reason wanted to kind of to make sure that we had that they were really keen to do it they were so excited yeah okay gotcha that's great thing gotta let them choose so i went on the cruise but and they've they love cruises and they've continued to do them ever since they were they were so great yeah so that's a very happy ending. They loved it. Was it brutal? It was quite intense because, again, slightly out of season.

And I just didn't know what to expect. And that slightly kind of enforced fun I found kind of wearying. And I was just well-known enough in the UK that the British patrons would sometimes recognize me. And there's nowhere to escape. Yeah, because they're going to recognize you for the duration. They recognize the duration. I'm tall, so it's hard for me to hide. And we ended up, my sister and I ended up befriending the performers in the kind of cabaret show. There were sort of these kids, I guess, in their early the performers in the kind of cabaret show.

There were sort of these kids, I guess, in their early 20s who were in this cabaret show. And the cabaret show, I remember, included a show called Around the World in 80 Songs. First, it didn't include 80 songs. Secondly, I apologize if this is offensive to people, but this is the truth. Africa was represented by the song Africa by Toto and The Lion Sleeps Tonight. Broad strokes. Anyway, hard to pick which is worse. At the end, we all had to wave British flags and sing the national anthem. Great.

But we ended up befriending the kids that were sort of in the show. And we kind of got to go sort of backstage, backstage on the cruise ship. And my main takeaway was that they all seemed to be screwing each other. They were trapped on a boat. That would be my hope.

I want that for them very badly. I also, that speaks to a deep kindness in you, Stephen, because I think I might break the other way that the last people I would want to hang out with at that time would be younger performers. Well, I think it was because there was no one even approximating our age. Of course, right.

I mean, the average age was 65. Yeah. So I think it was, you know, it was just sort of people that even had you know heard of the same movies yeah yeah i was on a boat and had to go for example see a improv show on a boat that might be the absolute nadir of a vacation well i started to i started to look at it objectively and to this day i've always wanted to write something set on a cruise ship because it is a fascinating environment it's a weird microcosm of society there was an in in-room tv that was piped in from some studio on board

and the entertainment's manager woman in her 50s maybe a sort of failed performer, would kind of pop on every morning. And again, I think rather like you, Seth, the little potted plant was the only dressing. And she would come on and she would kind of, hey guys, and she would give us that day's entertainment. And every so often she would have guests, which I always look forward to. And so it might be the DJ from the club or the kind of the sports guy. And one time she had the DJ on and he came on and he was a bigger personality than her. And you could tell there was a friction between them. She hated him because he was trying to take over. Maybe they chagged.

There was friction. And I would watch this, you know, like I would look forward to this. Set an alarm for 9 a.m to watch the that morning's show entertainment i like your big takeaway of a cruise is if you're not into the entertainment for 65 year olds just try to guess who's having sex that's my main objective yeah what uh what were your ports of call on that um on that cruise i remember remember we went to somewhere, because we went to Pisa to see the Leaning Tower. We went to Florence.

We went to Gibraltar, because I think it's cheap booze and cigarettes. Yeah, I don't remember the headlines. Oh, Monte Carlo. We went to Monte Carlo, I think. All right. It's so funny to take a giant boat somewhere for cheap booze. It just seems like pay the extra money and don't take a giant,

just on the fuel to get the boat there. You have to dress for dinner. You have to put on a suit or tuxedo for dinner. And the great privilege is you get to sit at the captain's table. We never got that privilege. You never got that? We never got that privilege. You never got that? We never got that.

And so a member of the senior naval team would welcome you in, you know, sort of the deputy captain or whatever. I don't know what they're called. But they might meet you and shake everyone's hand. This poor guy is like, Christ, I'm running a boat here. I've got to come and shake everybody's hand. What percentage of people wore the actual tuxedo what who went full on do you oh definitely my dad he wore a tuxedo every night i mean well because again i think they're selling this fantasy of glamour and sort of you know and the high life and which i have to say to be fair they do a

pretty good job and they the service is impeccable and if it you know if that's if you're a former plumber and builder

rightly it's pretty damn great you know it's a fixed fee and everything's laid on and it's nice

it's good every commercial I ever see for a cruise I never imagine that they're dressing for dinner with dinner jackets and tuxedos. But yeah, different times, different times. Hey, we're going to take a quick break

and hear from some of our sponsors. Family Trips is supported by Aura Frames. Do you remember the worst gift I ever got mom? The glass jar. Oh yeah, I do. I do. It was a glass jar. I read about it in Time Out New York. It was a glass jar with a suspended yarn fish inside it. So it was supposed to look like a fish tank with a fish in it. And I wanted to get a blue one but by the time I went, all that was left was brown and mom said it looked like a turd on a

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That's A-U-R-A, frames.com. Use code TRIPS at checkout to save. Terms and conditions apply. This episode of Family Chips is supported by the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. Hey, Pashi. Yes, Oofy. From muddy jungle paths and snowy trails to rolling sand dunes, the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder has the capability to take you to some of the most epic destinations on Earth.

Oh, man, we are excited to once again partner with Nissan because, as our listeners know, this podcast, Family Trips, is occasionally a podcast about trips and about the joy of having adventures and exploring new places and making memories. And if you're one of our listeners who doesn't know the podcast is called that, what is the holdup? There's no better vehicle for chasing bigger, better, more exciting adventures than the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder with seven drive modes. The Pathfinder's available intelligent four-wheel drive is built for even the most epic journeys. This thing can tow. A Nissan Pathfinder can tow, Suf,

so you can bring the fun with you. Yeah. How many pounds would you say? Six thou. Oh, boy. That's a lot of fun. That's a lot of fun to tow. Nissan also knows it's not just about where you go in a Pathfinder. The real fun comes from getting there. Ooh, now that is well said, Sufi. Thank you.

Whether getting there is a new physical place or just the end of an amazing story told by one of our guests. That's why we're excited. To partner with Nissan to celebrate adventures everywhere. So thanks again to Nissan for supporting family trips and for the reminder to chase bigger, better, more exciting adventures. And enjoy the ride along the way. Learn more at NissanUSA.com. So how old were you when you made the move to London for work?

Was it right out of university, basically? A couple of years after university, yeah. So moved up, yeah, probably in the late teens, early 20s, probably. And did your parents visit you in London when you lived there? My dad was very wary about, why are you going up to London? Why are you leaving Bristol we've got everything in Bristol what do you think they've got in London

we ain't got here we just they just opened a new laser quest we got bowling alley if you want a bowling alley we got bowling alleys you know and so I think he was

you know he just didn't you know he wanted his kids around near him I think in his dream world we'd all still live in a big house together like the monkeys that's very sweet

yeah that's great so anyway so I went and I up and uh he helped me move and um would they visit occasionally i guess they would yeah but i for you know early on i was living in a shared apartment with you know three other guys so there wasn't a lot of room for guests had you been to london previously with your family before you moved there like were were there, that was a rare day trip, uh, early,

early in, uh, in my travels, probably when I was, you know, I was pretty young. Cause I remember we went up and we, we saw West end show and it was a performer called Michael Crawford,

who was a big TV star on a hit sitcom here. And he was in a stage musical about PT Barnum. And he did a tightrope walk from one box to the other across the heads of the audience. And I, to this day, I, my mind was blown. I couldn't compute that a man from the TV was doing a walk, tightrope walk above my head. To this day, it's still a thrill. It's like a, it was so exciting. And I was in London and we did an open top bus in kind of cheap you know wet weather cagoules we bought for you know 50 pence in the

rain you know going around seeing the sights but i remember that feeling very exotic yeah i mean if i'd have seen i'm trying to think of if an 80s star walked over a tightrope over me i think i would still think about that as a top five exactly it Exactly. It's like Mr. T was all of a sudden like above me on a tightrope. That's right. Yeah. It's just amazing. Someone would risk it. Did you, based, I'm basing this solely on a joke I'm never going to forget that your dad said about the tooth fairy. It seems like he had a great sense of humor. Very good sense of humor. Yes. Was he excited when that became your life's path? Yes, and I give him a lot of credit for that because he was always a big comedy fan, movie fan.

We would watch a lot of that stuff together. And he's a funny man, and I definitely inherited that. And laughter was always a currency in our family you know and so yes those and i think he um was very supportive of that idea but with that anxiety of yes great pursue that but try and get a pension try and get a job that also provides a pension yeah you know which as, which as you know, in the world of show business is quite hard. Yeah, plumber is one of those jobs where there's always work. There is if you're a good plumber or a good businessman, and he was neither of those. Okay.

It does. There are some gaps. For bad plumbers, there are some gaps in the work. Yes, exactly. And so what about, you're both in the states and london yeah that's right yeah do they ever visit uh you now in the states do your parents yes yes they came out um last year and um yeah and we i mean we've done a lot of the uh the sort of usual uh touristy stuff in california but this time we really pushed the boat out

and I took them on a helicopter ride. And that was, and I think my father said after we got back, that was the greatest day of my life. Which, you know, I think he probably said after that tightrope walk. And he probably said after the first meal of the cruise. So, you know, I think he probably said it a number of times. Well, he's like, you know, he's like after the first meal of the cruise. So, you know, I probably said it a number of times. Well, he's like, you know, he's like the Guinness Book of World Records. He's constantly breaking. Each year with him is a new entry. Yeah. But that thrill of being able to do things like that and share experiences, which seemed kind of just

impossible when I was growing up, even the idea of me coming to California as a tourist seemed preposterous. And the idea that we've been able to take them to, you know, award shows and, you know, and meet show business people and all that stuff, which he and I watching movies and shows as a kid just seemed so alien and so out of reach. How do the merchant parents react to celebrities if you introduce them? We went to a Golden Globes party and my mother saw someone from Downton Abbey and made me with her chase him around the party until we could get a photo. Great. Yeah.

We once met Michael Palin, who is one of the Monty Python guys. Yeah. Big, big hero of mine and of people my parents' age. And my mother always had a little crush on Michael Palin. And so my father was introduced to Palin and he immediately said, my wife's in love with you, Michael. Without a moment's hesitation no not intimidated by celebrity my father very happy to talk to them on their level yeah there is something

about i feel it's the same with our parents like people are just charmed by them yes there's not like what would be i feel like inappropriate for someone of my age becomes totally appropriate if it's my mother. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. At an Emmys party, our mom met Idris Elba, wanted to meet him. I brought her over. He was so charming.

Yeah. But I think the entire interaction was she just held her heart and stared at him. Like almost. Oh, that's so lovely. You in person are too much to process of course of course well he's tall and handsome i mean that's a lot yeah he didn't he kiss her i think he kissed her i think he maybe kissed her oh yeah yeah that reminds me

as you were saying that that i think a highlight for me a record-breaking moment for me was my hero growing up was another of the monty Python guys John Cleese oh yeah who was also in a show called Fawlty Towers and was a big influence on me and also he was very tall like I am and he had grown up in Western Supermare near Bristol and he had been to school in Bristol and for some reason with no show business connections I guess in my young mind I was like well if John if they want tall funny, I guess I can do that. If that's what they're looking for, you know, and we've got John Cleese, I guess they need more. And anyway, so I've never met Cleese.

But one time my parents are on a cruise without me and they get back and I go to visit them and they show me a tape that they've shot on a camcorder they took with them. And it's them in their sort of stateroom. And they're kind of, Ron, is it working? Is it working? And they film the little kind of in-room answer machine. And it turns out that on the cruise was John Cleese. And he was giving a talk and selling a book. And he was on his way from somewhere to other. And they, being my parents, had got the wrong day.

And they had missed the Cleese talk, which was a big highlight for them. They were looking forward to it,, had got the wrong day, and they had missed the Cleese talk, which was a big highlight for them. They were looking forward to it, but they got the wrong day. And they had somehow got word back, would he sign a book for them, for their son? Anyway, so this message is there, and it's them recording this message on their answer phone in the room, and it's Cleese saying, hello, it's John Cleese here.

Very happy to sign a book. Can I ask, is it the same Stephen Merchant who co-created The Office with Ricky Gervais because I'm an enormous fan and I do please send in my regards and I just their brains were exploding and mine was

and it still is to this day like I can't that idea that your heroes might know your name is still exotic isn't it have you met him face to face still not

oh well no yeah we were big Fawlty Towers fans in our house it's so yeah isn't it? Have you met him face to face? Still not. Oh well. No, no. Yeah. We were big Fawlty Towers fans in our house. So, yeah. Great show.

I think it was I don't know I think one of the things our dad loved about Fawlty Towers is he has a bad temper.

Yes. So the way Basil Fawlty lost his temper was just brought a lot of joy to my dad because i think he was he's like see it's it's fun yes exactly yes yes losing your temper because my father was quite it's quite an even-keeled man but occasionally when we were kids he would lose his temper and it would have a sort of faulty level intensity to it

that was quite scary. Like I remember one time at Christmas, my sister and I wanted to watch the James Bond film, The Spy Who Loved Me. And in those days, of course, you had to watch it when it was on TV. That was your moment, right?

But I'd been asked with my sister to do the washing up at the Christmas Day lunch. But I was like, I can't, Dad. James Bond's starting. What are you talking about? I have to do it afterwards. And so we went in, we started watching the show,

and he came, he was furious. And he's like, your mother has spent hours cooking that meal. Get in there and clean the dishes. And I'm thinking, fair enough, but you haven't lifted a finger. Why can't you get involved? Probably a tough moment to suggest that maybe he get involved.

Exactly. I don't think that would have turned the temperature down on him. Yeah. Still never seen the first 45 minutes of The Spy Love Me. The ending's all that matters, really. Yeah, exactly.

Where was the helicopter tour? What did you see on that trip with your parents? We went to Catalina Island. Oh, I was going to say, Catalina Island is a great place for parents. I've only been once, and it was with my mother. It was for her birthday, and yeah, it was great. Yeah. But there was a nervousness when I did it, because I thought it would be exciting.

But I could tell all of us here were anxious without saying about being in a helicopter because it is it's quite an unnatural thing and i remember going to another of those sort of it wasn't a theme park it was a sort of i think they it was one of those things where you know it was like a vintage car rally or like a or like steam engines or something and we all went as a family and there was a helicopter ride. And again, I was probably 12. And my uncle said, do you want to go on a helicopter ride? And I'm like, definitely. And my father said, no, you're not going in a helicopter. It's insanely dangerous.

And you can do it when you're an adult, but you're not doing it on my watch. And so I'd never been in a helicopter. So the fact that we've sort of come full circle, I remembered that when I broached the idea, hey, how about taking a chopper to Catalina? Thinking he'd say, no, they're too dangerous. So we did it, but I could feel the whole time,

I could feel his thoughts from all those years ago. This is wildly dangerous. Yeah. I've said this before, but my dad, his dream was to go on a hot air balloon ride with all of us right and i can't do it no i just can't do it and one of the ways i've explained it is i something went wrong i think it would take too long we would all know we were gonna die that's right and i just i would the last thing would just be my parents fighting about her saying like like, I can't believe, happy now.

It's also, is it like Saving Private Ryan where they can't have all the members of a family die or something? Is that the conceit? Yeah, right. It's like you can't all travel together in dangerous devices. A designated survivor. You need someone. That's right. Yeah.

And if it's a high-risk activity, I am certainly the Myers who is happiest to check out. Exactly. We have some questions that we ask all of our guests, Stephen. Yeah. And we're very excited to lay them on you. Please do. All right. Here we go.

You can only pick one of these. Is your ideal vacation relaxing, adventurous, or educational? It's educational. All right. Good for you. I went to Pompeii recently. I went to Pompeii. I paid for the private tour.

Got it. No big deal. They just found some crazy new frescoes there that they just dug out in the last week. They're beautiful. They are completely untouched. It's amazing the historians, it's still a good job. Yeah. You know, because you think, eh, we got everything now.

It's very well saved. And they're like, no, we'll just keep finding old stuff. That's right. What is your favorite means of transportation? Train, plane, automobile, boat, bike? That old boat that you had in your front yard? I do like the train. All right. I like like the train. All right.

I like a train journey. Yeah. Did you ever travel around the UK as a performer? Were you ever like doing stand-up? Yes. Or you would do a bunch of, okay. Yes, I did. But as you know, if you're doing that,

you don't really see the places you're in really. You don't see it. You're just sort of passing through, aren't you? I was just complaining. I've been doing it recently, and just because i'm trying to do less weekends away but more shows so i'll do two in a night and then you don't even get a dinner that's right yeah right right absolutely yeah i'm very poorly traveled in europe and england for some reason i've been to far-flung places but yeah not not there All right. If you could take a vacation with any family other than your own, real or fictional, what family would you like to take a vacation with?

I don't know. Does a surrogate family count? Yeah, I think so. Because I'm going to think of the Muppets as a family. Oh, yes. Okay, great. Yeah, that's 100%. And I think hanging out with the Muppets, I feel like they're kind of hijinks that those guys are going to think of the Muppets as a family. Oh, yes. Okay, great. Yeah, that's 100%. And I think hanging out with the Muppets,

I feel like they're, I mean, the kind of hijinks that those guys are going to get up to. Is there a particular Muppet you identify with? Fozzie. Okay. Fozzie Bear, of course. Okay, great. Sorry, I'm surprised you even had to ask that.

Yeah, like you're like, am I not giving off a Fozzie vibe? Although I guess I sometimes, I can in a certain light with my glasses off and my jaw in a certain position do, I can look like Beaker. Yeah, there could be a Beaker. We would never have said that, but now that you've said it, yeah. If you had to be stranded on a desert island with one member of your family, who would it be? Well, it's not because of any particular preference, but I think because of his practicality, it would have to be my father.

Just because he is a man who is quite practical. I was going to say handsy, but I don't think that's the right term I mean. He's handy. They say try not to be on a desert island with someone who's handsy. Who's handsy. Just leave me alone for a minute. But I feel like he'd have a better shot at building some shelter, I than anyone else yeah all right well that's important yeah um bristol is your hometown would you recommend bristol as a vacation destination uh i would definitely yes i would

definitely recommend it as a uh a sort of mini break destination because it's a it's a really interesting city much of it is very beautiful it's a really interesting city. Much of it is very beautiful. It has an interesting history. And from there, you can also go and see a lot of other, you could go and see Stonehenge, you could go and see Bath,

correctly pronounced, do you notice? Oh, yeah. Which is a town nearby that's very beautiful and has, you know, kind of Roman baths in it and all sorts of,

so yeah, Bristol is a, yes, it's a- Can you still, can you go kind of roman baths in it and all sorts of so yeah there's a yeah bristol is a yes it's a can you still can you go in those roman baths you can visit them as a museum yeah i don't think you can plunge in them but you can see them as a museum okay very good um and seth has our final questions you mentioned it have you been to the grand canyon Have you been to the Grand Canyon? I have been to the Grand Canyon. And my big takeaway was there seems to be a lack of health and safety. You can just, there should be a sign that says don't walk too near the edge, much as there should be, yeah, don't jump off the boat because you can't get back on board. Although, yeah, I was going to say, not that that would stop Stephen Merchant.

Yeah. But do you know what I mean? It feels like you can really walk very close to the edge. Exactly. I also want to say real quick congrats on another season oh thank you so much I can't believe

how many shows you have had a hand in creating Stephen it is very it makes a man feel insignificant but The Outlaws is a really cool show

with an incredible cast not I mean the fact that you've got Christopher Walken in the show is well the irony is that it's

thank you for saying that but it's also it's filmed in my hometown. So it's filmed in Bristol. And so the idea, I managed to get Christopher Walken to my hometown. Yeah. Which is another one. Again, we talk about those moments where you just go,

I don't know how this is... That, you know, what that is like, I don't know, the negative image of local boy leaves and does good is then brings back someone who did good to their hometown. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I actually did visit Stonehenge with Christopher. You went to Stonehenge with Christopher Walken? Went to Stonehenge with Christopher Walken,

having never been since I was a very young kid. And Christopher was very keen to go. And he's a very quiet man. I don't know if you've had him on the show, but he's very quiet. He's very quiet. And very thoughtful. From time on SNL, very quiet, but very thoughtful thoughtful yes very thoughtful but i and i can't do the impression so i apologize but he i remember he didn't say anything for like hours and then

finally he just said in his inimitable way apparently the blue stones have healing properties and that was pretty much all he said. But there was something so kind of spiritual the sun was setting. Walken's talking about the healing powers of the stones. I was like, wow, this is unique. This is also, you have a third season coming out, so you've really gotten Christopher Walken to continue to return

to Bristol. Yes, that says a lot, doesn't it? He must have a place in his heart for it. That's right. That's right that's right also the really talented I mean is it Rian Barreto Rian Barreto

yes she's been on your show I think hasn't she she has and I remember it because she had not it was her first chat show and she

she was so charming and made such a nice impression on us but yeah no she's terrific she's a great actress yeah terrific very lovely cast

it's been great fun you also have I'm going to say his name wrong that um that fantastic uh danish actor the villainous that's right clay spang clay spang who's just been so bad and bad sisters and he was just in the coco chanel show and your show and yes oh he's fantastic he's amazing yeah yeah he's and he's one he's one of those kind of preposterously handsome men yeah you know how when Jon Hamm suddenly

became a star and you're like why? where's this guy been? how is he not already a movie star? right it's true

you almost want to take it up with Jon Hamm yeah what have you been doing wrong? well congrats on another season of that show

Stephen it's been so I haven't seen you I feel like in over 10 years and this has just been the that show Stephen it's been so I haven't seen you I feel like in over 10 years and this has just been the best oh no it's been a real pleasure talking to you guys thank you so much

I hope my stories were of interest and not just me wittering about I'm going to tell you something right now you're going to make best of the Myers

that's our parents not we everyone all our guests are best of the Myers but our parents are going to have nothing but nice things to say

oh fantastic lovely okay great alright guys well it was a real pleasure talking to you and thanks for having me on alright thanks so much

we'll see you soon thanks Stephen thanks if the wind dies down like not even a breeze better know about the law of the sea law of the Sea, Law of the Sea, yeah.

If you're heading out on the English Channel, make sure that your motor's running well. Be sure that your motor is running well. Steve and his dad, they went out for a sail And the motor broke and they couldn't get back A ferry boat came, said we can give you a tow But Stephen's dad said, wait, there's this thing I know An obscure law says if you help a boat

You can claim it's your boat now it's a law of the sea a law of the sea baby you needed help we're stuck in the kilt law of the sea

your boat belongs to me you