Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers - THE MEYERS PARENTS Thought an Outhouse Sounded Fun

Episode Date: June 29, 2023

Daddy boy and Mommy girl join Poshie and Soofie on the pod to talk Meyers childhood memories. Hosted by Seth & Josh Meyers. Theme song written & performed by Jeff Tweedy. Produced by Rabbit Grin Productions

So I was with the boys the other day and I had a real good illustration of how kids are just less jaded and more patient. And it was this Memorial Day parade where you got to write your name on the bottom of a rubber duck for like five bucks. It was like to raise money for something. And they took all the ducks out on canoes, some Boy Scouts. And they took all the ducks out on canoes, some Boy Scouts. And it was the one end of this river. Not one end of the river, but a part of a river. And then they would all flow downstream.

It would flow, yeah. They were going to flow downriver. And the first duck, obviously, was going to win 500 bones. Pretty exciting. And the kids, I explained it to Ash ash and axel and they were over the moon at the idea and i think there's also that kid thing do you remember any time you entered one of those things as a kid you just are already spending the money oh yeah you just can't conceive that you're not going to be the winning duck yeah also just for the listeners ash and

axel are seven and five they're seven and five yeah their're seven and five. Yeah, their sister, Addie, is not yet two, but she still was smart enough to know this was a scam and didn't want to be a part of it. She basically said, I'm going to save my five bucks. So I went down. It was a very hot day. Went down to the Riverside with the boys. And I thought, we're talking about five minutes.

In my head, how long does it take a duck to go 200 yards on a river? Five minutes? What would you have guessed? Well, obviously, it depends on the speed of the water and the river, how fast it's flowing. So immediately, this is showing why you're a better outdoorsman than me. It never even occurred to me that the river could be having a bad day. Yeah. Well, you also, you don't know what they were raising money for either.

Something, as you said. So anyway, they, first of all, and just the load out of the ducks has taken a long time to get all the ducks. And I should also say, I was amongst a community of people that none of them seemed to be frustrated by how long this was taking and so i was very aware of the fact there was a real chance that i was going to be the worst guy here so they load up all the ducks and they got them in a net and then they lift up the net and this is where i just think it's it's in my head it's

like when the when a dog race starts. Yeah. Or like far and away when they sort of like it's like, hey, we're opening up the West. Go claim your land. Yes, exactly. The West is open. First come, first serve. It was so slow.

If it hadn't been real life, if somebody showed me a video of it, I would have said, you, you haven't hit play yet. And then you realize the river, if you looked at the river, it just looked like a lake. Like there was no motion. Yeah. And I was doing a little sort of back of the envelope math based on how long it seemed to be taken. And I thought for sure, this is an hour. This is going to take a full hour for these. Wow. Also my boys are screaming like the ducks are moving really fast yeah are they encouraging are they like cheering on their own ducks do you think yeah but they're mostly just like in general because all

the ducks look alike they're just sort of screaming that's the other problem it's not even the excitement of your ducks ahead because you only find out at the end. Yeah. It was just brutal. It was so hot. And yet the boys were so happy the whole time. They stayed happy for a whole hour. They never budged off the edge of the river staring. They never took their eyes off these slow moving ducks. There was a time in your life as a father that you said all you're looking for is things that can take up an hour.

Yeah. If something can take up an hour or two hours, it's great. So it sounds like you were given one on a platter here, but you had other ideas. I guess it was, that was the thing. I think, well, you know what I fell victim to? I think I got excited about the ducks. Now what I'm willing to admit is I actually think I was looking forward to the duck race. And you know what?

I've kind of buried the lead here. I also, my name was on the bottom one of these ducks. And so don't get me wrong. Because then the ducks, you know, they, after an hour, five ducks go into a, they kind of have like a corral situation where they very slowly go into a tube. And now the Boy Scouts are paddling back over with the tube of ducks. No one seems to be aware of the fact that this has taken longer than it should have. And yeah, you can't control how fast the river is going,

but it does seem like it could have made up time a different way. Yeah. And then a guy with a bullhorn read off the five winning ducks. Do you think this story took longer to tell than the duck race? I wanted people who were listening to this story to know how I felt. Yeah. And I was basically unburdening my, by telling this story as slowly as I could. I should also say dad was there. Oh, well, there's a a wrinkle dad was there for the beginning of this oh he didn't make it through no he didn't stay and that well by the way that's the difference

between being a grandparent and a parent dad basically said at one point some version which you heard our dad say before that this is uh this is bullshit this is bullshit yeah oh and someone very sweetly said to Dad, is this your first time at the duck race? Like a very sweet old woman said to our father, who, you know, let's be honest, is an old man. I mean, I wouldn't say that to his face, but I think he knows. This old woman said to Dad, is this your first duck race?

And he said, it's my last. your first duck race? And he said, it's my last. Well, you guys, I mean, our guests today, this is the first time for us that we'll interview two people at once.

Are they famous? Would you call them celebrities, Josh? I would say they have a niche. They have a niche audience. Yeah, because they do get recognized. They do get recognized because once a year on Thanksgiving, they joined Josh and I on my show because our guests today are Larry and Hillary Myers,

our parents, and they've been on all these family trips that we're going to talk about over the course of this podcast. And we only thought it was fair for them early on to come on and give us their bounce on things. Yeah. And also maybe find out about some of the family trips that they took when they were kids that maybe we don't, we haven't talked about those stories because we haven't had the right venue. That's true. Yeah. I think you pay very little attention to the kind of trips your parents take because you mostly, when you're a kid, you just want them to focus on the trips they're going to take you on. Yeah. How often do you think dad's going to curse in this episode?

I'm going to set the over under. They're going to be gentle swears. I don't think. Yeah. You know, I don't think we're going to get F bombs. He's not going to turn on us. No. But I'm going to put the over under at three.

Okay. Over under three. Oh, that's good for everybody to listen to. You know, by the way, I shouldn't write off mom. Mom could drop a curse word pretty fast. Yeah. There was some trip a long time ago where she wanted to say that she F'd up. And she used the word fut, F-U-T.

Oh, yeah. And that, I feel like, has replaced a lot of her saying of the classic F-U-C-K. I don't think that's a helpful replace, find and replace. It just makes it sound like you said, you stumbled when you said the curse word. Yeah. There's no point for saying, are you fut up? Well, you're not saying technically,

by the letter of the law. By the letter of the law. You know, the autocorrect duck, you know, when you try to write the F word and it makes you write duck. I'm fine using duck after that duck race I was at. Because that to me,

now duck is the worst curse word you could possibly use. Yeah. And I'm hoping it's true for anybody who had to sit through my story about it. Yeah. That was a ducking long one. You didn't ask if the kids won.

Did the kids win? No, they didn't win. Yeah. They would have called their uncle if they won 500 bucks at a duck race. Oh, here's the other great thing. When we got home, mom, we showed her a video. And she said, oh, I thought it was going to be real ducks. And then as with a lot of things with mom, as soon as you ask

one follow up as to how she thought it would work, she realized that she just had put no logic into it. Like they were just going to write your name on the bottom of a living duck. Yeah. Because that'd probably wash right off in the river, I would think, the bottom of a living duck. Yeah. Because that'd probably wash right off in the river, I would think, the bottom of a duck. Depends on the kind of marker you use.

All right, should we bring on Larry and Hillary? Yeah, or Yeri and Hurry. Oh, yeah, we should say real quick, much like we have childhood nicknames, Pashi and Sufi, we call our parents Yeri and Hurry. Or I should say they called each other that and then we just adopted it over time or mommy girl and daddy boy yeah let's try to avoid that although you know what I probably won't be able to Family trips With the Myers brothers Here we go

Poshy! Hey! Hey! Sweatheads! Hi, guys! Hi, hi! Hi, hi! So, Josh, why don't you take the lead here?

Sure. I mean, we had't you take the lead here? Sure. I mean, we had so many great family vacations. Seth and I have talked a lot about how we think they have made us a stronger family over the years. But before us, when you guys were little, what were some of the first family trips that you remembered taking? Let's start with you, Dad, and then we'll get to mom. My dad was in the golf business. And so the winters were very slow for him. And so I had a

half-brother that lived in Miami Beach. And so my first recollections probably from the age of four first recollections probably from the age of four, were going to Miami for a couple weeks in February. I'm sure that's the first beach I ever saw. I was taken out of school for two weeks. I'd bring some schoolwork and stuff, but when you're in even second or third grade, how long does it take to do that? But I just thought it was the best. I just thought it was the best, being that we have a pool and the beach. I probably couldn't even swim in the beginning, but I just thought it was the great. That's flying on an airplane, all of that. Those are my earliest recollections of vacations. Yeah. Wow. What about you, Her? We used to go up to Popham Beach, Maine a lot. There's a spread of 25 years between my oldest sister and my youngest brother.

So big range. But Popham Beach, the whole gang used to go. One of my fondest or craziest memories is because we're going to go to Canada again this summer to a place very similar. My dad worked for Prudential Insurance, had a pretty big job. So we always went on company trips. So I took my mom, myself, and my baby brother to a place in Canada called the Manoir Richelieu. And it was luxury, luxury. We got there, there was horseback riding, there were pools, there was

anything you could possibly think of, a lake to canoe on. And as we're going in the place, I'm 12, I think, maybe 13. My brother's six years younger. We'd never seen a revolving door before. And my brother Kurt got in the revolving door and the thing hit him in the head, knocked him down. He had a concussion. The rest of that trip, I had to stay in the hotel room taking care of him. Now, wait a second. True story. True story. Now, I believe it's a true story, but a lot can go wrong in a revolving door.

But I think if you get your head hit, that's user error, right? Where did it get hit? Well, he was six years old. Yeah, he wasn't the brightest boy going around the thing. But did it get like stuck? Was it between the doors? He was like stuck. He was six years old and he wasn't the brightest boy going around the thing. But did it get like stuck? Was it between the doors? He was like stuck. He was stuck.

But on his head? Yes. Like closed on his head? Closed on his head. Yes. Yeah. He thought the way to get through was to stick your head through first. I see.

And then go around. Yeah. He hasn't fully recovered as near as I can tell. Correct me if I'm wrong. Your father was not on that trip. No. No, he wasn't. But I do know your brother.

He does have a large head. Uncle Kurt has a very large head. And so I do want to forgive. This might have been a situation where a normal person would never get their head caught in a revolving door, but to no fault of his own. I want to compare Hillary's dad taking them to this luxurious place in Canada. When we went to Miami, I know I made it sound pretty glamorous, but we weren't exactly staying at the Fountain Blue.

My father, we would go to – there was a long area, which is now called Sunny Isles in Miami. And we would go to a hotel, a motel really, that was right on the beach. My father would go in, talk to the guy at the desk, come out, get in the car. We'd go to another place. He would negotiate. Okay. He would negotiate. And if he didn't like the rate, we would go to the next place and usually took two or three places. And then once we went there repeatedly over the years, many, many years, I mean, he knew some of the places. So we would go back to the people. But same thing with a rental car. We never a Hertz

car, never an Avis car. A friend of my dad's would pick us up. We drive to this place way, not anywhere near the airport and get this car from some guy named Ace. Was it normal for anyone to not have a hotel reservation back in the day? Was anyone doing what your dad was doing and just going door to door at the hotels? No. No, I'm sorry. I think Miami then, you know, wasn't what it is today. And so I think they were still, there was hundreds of these, not hundreds, maybe 30, 50 hotels along the beach. And so some of them were much fancier than others.

We drove past those right past those and we would be at the more modest ones. Yeah. I think it was different then. I think it was, it was in the fifties. Your dad was famously cheap. Frugal. Yes. Frugal. That's a nice way to say it, Harry. He was famously cheap. Frugal. Yes. Frugal. That's a nice way to say it, Harry. Yes. He was famously frugal. Will you just real quick, and I think this was, mom, you were in the picture when this happened about how grandma threw out all the furniture and what your dad did.

Well, what my dad did. Yeah. The first time I was invited to go there to his apartment, there was porch furniture, you know, like webbed chairs. And I thought this was rather odd. A living room suite does not generally consist of webbed outdoor chairs. But I thought, well, he's a strange boy anyhow. We'll see how this relationship works out. Especially for a girl who had gone on vacation to the Relais Blanc.

That's right. The Relais St. Chateau. The Manoir Richelieu. Yes. Yes. But wait, so explain why there was porch furniture in the house. Because my mother decided she wanted like a new couch. So I was a child, so she probably discussed it with my father. He didn't do anything. So he came home one night and it was gone. And then like little by little, she just gave away the furniture. Eventually he noticed that we got new furniture eventually. In the interim, you just had basically outdoor porch furniture. Yes. There were a couple other pieces of furniture, but let me say this.

Any porch furniture in the living room is too much. Yes. And I don't exactly know the dynamic between my parents if it was some sort of a war of wills or not. But I will say this about buying anything, which I didn't appreciate as a kid. When I was in school, we all wore the same kind of shoes. We wore Bass Weegee and penny loafers. They were pretty expensive. But my dad would say, this was his favorite expression, I know a guy. And he would send me to some place in a warehouse district. You go in and I'd say, I'm looking for Bill Schwartz or whatever. Come on. He'd say, I'd say, I'm Larry Myers. My dad's name was Leish.

He said, I'm Leish's son. And he goes, yeah, you're the kid. You want the shoes, right? We'd go back in a warehouse and there'd be a million pairs. They were distributors. They sold to the retailers and then I'd get the pair of shoes and it would cost much less. I hated doing it. All my friends went to the regular retail stores and I would go to this place. I hated doing it. And it was always whatever you wanted. I know a guy. Until Hillary and I, we got married and I was going to graduate school at Carnegie Mellon and we had an apartment and we needed a TV and we didn't have any money. I said, yeah, we got to go buy a color TV, but they're really expensive. My dad said, eh, I know a guy. And then go someplace

over here, you know, get into warehouse, big box TV. I mean, this is not this stuff was stolen. It was all legit. It might've fallen off a truck. No, I don't think so. It was about 30% of what it would have cost. And so I really came to appreciate as I became an adult and was married that knowing a guy was a good thing if you knew a guy. Well, I think the difference is it was when it was your money. That's when you started to appreciate it. Yes. Absolutely.

Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. So, and also, Mom, when she went, what was the name of the French place she went, Josh? You seem to remember it. De Relais, Poussé-Belon, Pont-en-Dessay, Chateaubriand. my mention to a horseback riding dad how old do you think you were the first time you were on a horse the first time I was

on a horse 67 no it was probably no it was probably when you guys not caught in a pony ride at a park or something but I think when you Oh Annie Oakley here is going to tell you about her history of riding. But when we used to go trail riding with you guys on Sunday mornings here in New Hampshire, that's probably the first time I was on a horse. So you have kids, you've taken vacations, and obviously you traveled a little bit before you had us. But what were your goals when you first started traveling with us as kids? Like at what age would you start taking trips with both of us?

How old were we? Much older than people do today than like you do. I would never have thought of taking infants or even, yeah, I would say it'd have to be more like you were four and six, maybe even older than that. Well, one thing I remember when we lived in Michigan, my parents were in Pittsburgh. And so the vacations we would take with you when you were really young, possibly up to the age or even a little older, mom's saying is we would go visit our parents, your grandparents. And when we went to Pittsburgh, okay, we could drive. It was about a six hour drive, I think. A mom had a used Cadillac, but like a Fleetwood, one of the old gigantic, like a pimp car. It was huge. It was a beaut.

This is before all the rules with child seats, seatbelts, all that stuff. We would take a crib mattress and put it in the back seat or some kind of mattress. Bigger than a crib. Yeah, as big as a crib. It's fitting very nicely. We put some stuff on the floor so the crib mattress would be flat and we would just throw you back there with some toys. We would drive to Pittsburgh and then we would do all kinds of Pittsburgh things. We'd go to the zoo, we'd ride the incline, we'd do this and that. And then in the summers, we would go to Marblehead. Mom's hometown.

Marblehead, Massachusetts. But we would drive there too. Sometimes you'd drive. It was a long drive, but we drove it. Yeah. A couple of times. But I think you would fly more often. Because sometimes you went for longer than I didn't join you for the whole time because

I was working. So you would be there without me for a while. Would we do six hours straight to Pittsburgh or would we stop? then I didn't join you for the whole time because I was working. So you would be there without me for a while. Would we do six hours straight to Pittsburgh or would we stop? That just seems like a long time. Although I guess if you've turned the backseat into a playpen, we could probably get through it. I think it was straight. We would never stop.

Well, just to go to the bathroom or something. Yeah. Okay. Was your recollection that we were good travelers on a road trip? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Every recollection I we were good travelers on a road trip? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Every recollection I have, you were the best boys, so that was not a problem.

Yeah. And for our listeners, we should let you know that she's the least true bounce on Josh and I. What? Me? You're very forgiving, I would just say. Yeah. Well, that's a mother's job. I can remember one trip that you were not good

travelers, especially you, Seth. And that is mom's sister, Alex, lived in San Diego. Oh, yeah. And mom was a teacher. So we always had to go. There was a February and an April break. That's when we had to go on vacation. And so we flew to San Diego because we were going to go to Disneyland. And you got sick on the plane on the way out. And you used to have problems when you were young with asthma. And so you got upper respiratory infection. You were really pretty sick. And then we got to Alex's.

And I think we kind of hung around a day hoping you would feel better. But you didn't. And then mom got sick. And so Josh and I went to Disneyland together. It was so fun. It was, I mean, I don't have a great memory, but I remember that as one of the greatest days of my life. I can't believe it. But dad, please, back to you.

I said, we went there early and I said, we're going to stay until it closes. Okay. Which we did. It didn't believe it. But dad, please, back to you. I said, we went there early. And I said, we're going to stay until it closes. Okay? Which we did. It didn't close late. And then we went back, which was plenty of Disneyland for me, by the way. But the next day, Seth, you felt better. And so we went back and did Disneyland the next day. Luckily, I dodged both bullets.

I never had to go to Disneyland, which to me is my, one of my worst nightmares. But I remember telling you guys later on years later, and I don't remember the specifics of that, but we went to Disney world once. And, uh, I remember telling you, I hope you enjoy this because the next time you come, you'll be with your kids. Yeah. Cause I'm not coming back. You like to draw a line, a very clear line in the sand about what you're willing to do. Hey, we did go to a different amusement park. And I think it's going to come up a fair amount because it's still one of the more traumatic things that ever happened to us on a family vacation. Bush Gardens. We're at Bush Gardens in Florida and a hurricane breaks

out. Would you say that's an accurate description of the weather that befell us? I feel like also hurricanes don't just break out. They like, they track them. There are meteorologists that are like, Hey, everyone see this twisting storm. And I think that was today. You're talking about today's tech. I mean, back in the day, hurricanes were just, you just have no idea. It was whatever it was.

It was a weather event. It was a bomb cyclone of rain. It was that sort of thing where they basically just announced, get out of the park. Yes. And what I just want to clarify, Josh, it wasn't like everybody had said the weather's really bad. It was a packed amusement or whatever you would call Busch Gardens. It's an amusement park.

Yeah. And so we all pile out and the skies are an ominous gray and there are trams that take you back to your section of the parking lot. And we all sort of load on the tram and our tram pulls away. And then we look back and Josh is standing just in a crowd of strangers. He has not made it on the tram. And would it surprise you, mom and dad, that my memory of that moment is you turned on

each other? Yeah, yeah. He had a right to keep an eye on Poshy. You were supposed to be watching him that day. But anyway, yeah. And then my other memories we did, of course, as evidenced by the fact that he's with us today, we did recover Posh. Yes. But then we drove and it was the worst traffic I remember us being in. And dad, you were still so mad. And traffic would move five inches. I remember us being in and dad, you were still so mad and traffic would move five inches. And then you would drive 60 miles per hour for four inches and then slam on the brakes. And you were so mad.

And I should note, I only felt this way until this minute. But when you were mad, I think the collective opinion in the car was just to let it go unspoken, your behavior. I was so sick in the backseat. That's what I was going to say. I really did have to say like, you have to. And again, I was as a kid, when you were, I mean, we were very clear to us that you were very aggravated and angry. And I would never have said anything save for the fact that I was like, I think I'm going to puke all over this rental car. You got to stop speeding up every time you get a five.

I absolutely remember that exactly the way you do. You know, teeming rain. I was just, it was a, it was a bad scene. We had some Florida trips. I don't know if it was just like people in New England just go to Florida. Or like maybe it was because dad grew up going to Florida on those trips. But it was like, that was like the warm weather getaway that we would do. And I remember we went to like Bahia Beach.

Yep. That was not really. A dump. It was not really. A dump. It was a dump. Do you remember this? I always think to myself, thank God it wasn't dad. Because I feel like we wouldn't have recovered from it. Do you remember when we were playing volleyball at one of those chintzy resorts?

And you know how everybody at a Florida resort showed up on the same day? They just cycled people in for a week. So you know your first day is everybody's first day. And there was a guy who broke his wrist playing volleyball. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And he dove. And he was just a skinny, normie white guy.

And he dove and he broke his wrist. And we knew he broke his wrist because he stood up and screamed, I broke my fucking wrist. He screamed so, I mean, breaking your wrist hurts. But this guy really, he, boy, everybody on that beach knew about it. And it was funny because you made an observation,

dad, real quick. You made an observation that I understand a great deal more being married, which is he obviously had to go to the emergency room and everybody was being really helpful and sympathetic. And you pointed out that his wife was so mad at him because it was the first day of the trip. And she knew she was packing up her stuff

with the deadest eyes she had no sympathy for anyone but herself and i remember thinking no but obviously if you're but you must she must have felt bad that her husband well it was all his own stupid fault right oh it seems a mom is proving my point pretty quickly well and and going back to what seth what she was saying before about the way a mom reacts to you guys compared to her reaction about this poor woman whose husband broke his wrist. We went skiing in Telluride, Colorado. You guys started to ski at a very young age. We had rented a place in Northern Michigan where the skiing was not great, but it was good enough for

you. You were like three and five, four and six or something like that. Because it was expensive to go out West. And we used to go out West ourselves to ski once a year. But we took you to Telluride on the first day, on the first run, Josh broke his leg. On the first day of the first run josh broke his leg on the first day of the first through no fault of his own my point exactly yeah there was powder it was it was yeah i never experienced powder we didn't get powder in michigan get powder no i mean there were plenty of people who were doing just fine with the powder, you know, and again. Well, the other thing is that we got off the lift.

He took off. He just took off. He was always aggressive. He was far more aggressive than you were. And he just took off, and that was it. You mean he's more aggressive than old two-legs Myers? Yeah. Original bones over here?

Yeah. No bones over here. No pins, no nothing. No. Another ski incident when you were young. Again, we do this once a year. We went to Breckenridge, I think. There was sort of two bases, one that was sort of lower than the other. And where we were staying was near the sort of higher base.

At the end of the first day, we put you in ski school the second day day, the first day we just got there and then we went skiing with you and we ended at this base, they had this outdoor dining area and they had strawberry daiquiris. And so they made, gave you guys, without booze, they gave you strawberry daiquiris. And we sat there and we had nice end of the day. And then we went back to wherever we were staying, which I think we could walk to from that base. So the next day we put you in ski school, which started at the lower base. So you guys went off to ski school. We went off and skied by ourselves. And then you come down with your group and your ski instructor and you were older. So Josh was on a group with younger kids. Everybody's coming in. You know, the light's getting really flat.

It's snowing really hard. No, Josh. No, Josh. So we get pretty worried. So we go in to the ski school and we say, you know, gave Josh his name and they say, oh, this instructor was so-and-so and I think she's over having a drink. So we go over and I say, you know, hey, where hey where's our kid and she said because Josh was a little stubborn so she said well we were coming down past that upper level place and by the way he's that was when he was a kid I just want to jump in real quick he was a little stubborn when he's a kid and now he's a lot

stubborn well you grow into it yeah lone wolf I got those lone wolf vibes yeah i'm still part of the pack but sometimes i gotta go lone wolf you do you do so he's literally about i don't know five years old maybe he's got a little hat on that has like a bear face on it and he says to this say 20 something year old woman oh this is where i meet my parents at the end of the day and so she says well we're we're going down to the base where everybody he goes no this is where i meet my parents at the end of the day and so she says well we're we're going down to the base where everybody he goes no this is where i meet my parents and i have a strawberry daiquiri and she left him there just left him there and uh so you know we're down there we're incredulous we said you just left a five-year-old just sitting up there in this snowstorm so they

send a guy on the ski patrol up okay a few minutes later, he comes down with Josh on the back, covered in snow. All's well that ended well. Yeah. And the people saw him. They recognized mostly the hat. Right, Tufi? Right, Posh? Yeah. They gave him a strawberry daiquiri because he had it all over his face. That was another experience with Josh Scan. Real quick, back to the broken wrist also reminds me,

it's not a trip that we've taken together, but I remember dad saying so distinctly that when people stand up on an airplane before it's reached its sort of final place, before they ding that bell, I remember dad saying, like some guy stood up and he's like, I want the plane to stop short and I want that guy to break his wrist. Anytime I'm on a plane, anytime I'm on a plane

and someone stands up before the plane has stopped, I find myself rooting specifically for the plane to jam on the brakes and for that person to fall and for them to break their wrist. It's never happened, but man, if and when it does, it's going to be so satisfying and dad, you're going to be the first person I call. One of the things that used to entertain you on our April vacations, if we would go to the South, is we could go to any resort. It could be Florida. We could have gone to somewhere in the Caribbean. It wouldn't matter where it was. And you would spend the days, say Thursday, Friday, Saturday, you'd have to watch the NFL draft. Everybody would be on the

beach and you would be inside watching the draft. The only time you would come out would be to tell me who the Steelers drafted and then you'd go back in and whatever and you spent so much time on the vacation over whatever number of days the draft was on the tv in those days watching a long time it's very uh yeah it was not the coverage it is today. It was very early ESPN, and I enjoyed it a great deal. I did a thing a few years ago. The Steelers, our team, asked if I would join their draft night coverage. And they said, we're going to ask you a few trivia questions about the Steelers. And I said, good. I can name every first round draft pick in the history of the Steelers from 1982 on.

And they're like, okay, cool. And then the trivia questions were like, what's a Super Bowl? In what Pennsylvania city did the Steelers play? Do you guys want to talk about 1988? And they were like, you come off like a lunatic. Like, okay, rain man. I'm actually doing this from your room where there's a dresser which has a glass top and underneath that top is either Steeler football cards or cutouts from the press about Steeler victories. Yeah, from like 89, 90, 1990 vintage of Steelers clippings.

If there are any collectors out there who want to get, get under the glass top. Yeah. Um, we, you could, uh, Papier-Maché a room with those. Papier-Maché?

Yes. Was that the hotel you went to as a kid? Le Papier-Maché. Uh, they had, uh, Chaveau. Uh,

they had Piscine. Um, that was right, right? Chaveau and Piscine. That's horse and right? Cheveux and Piscine? That's horse and pool, right? Horse and pool, yeah. We should point out, my mom was our French teacher,

which is why all these years later, I can still say things like horse, pool. Let's just say I get around Paris pretty well. Le Piscine. Mon Dieu, un cheveu! We were also, while we talked about a profanity, Dad, one of the things Josh and I were talking about, it's weirdly one of the most harrowing

and yet still somehow my maybe favorite vacation moment. We were in a lobby in what must have been a Florida hotel and you bumped your leg into a coffee table. And then you raised your fist in the air as if threatening the coffee table and said something what to me to this day sounded like everybody looked and then and mom was checking in and then everybody looked at you and then it was that awkward thing where then you mom sort of walked over and you joined her she walked to the elevator and i think josh and i realized we

had no choice we had to basically confess to the rest of the lobby that we belong to you we got on the elevator and mom said why would you do that and And you very calmly said, it hurt me, so I wanted to hurt it. As if the three of us would go, oh, well, I hadn't thought of it. I hadn't thought of it like that. He was getting even. Just to give you a little bit more context there. Oh, yeah, I'm sure the issue is. There's context.

There's context. Do you think that was a one-time event? No. Oh, please. None of us think... No. We've witnessed many of these. Any inanimate object causes me pain.

My immediate thought is to destroy it. And often you can't do it. You can do it sometimes if you own the thing that has caused you pain but you generally in public like you can't break up that table but you want to and it would feel really good to do it but because you can't do that with people i mean that's that's not good but so inanimate things that you can they they just do whatever you want to them you can't that's my first my first thought while we're still about the, the sort of sports theme of my childhood bedroom, it still has parquet floors,

correct? Yes. Yeah. So you installed parquet floors in my bedroom and you said, it'll be so cool. It'll be like the Boston garden. We're Celtics fans. We grew up in new England Steelers fans.

Cause our dad grew up in Pittsburgh. We're Celtics fans. We grew up in New England, Steelers fans, because our dad grew up in Pittsburgh. And I remember just the muffled cursing of you installing parquet floors. And I think if you actually looked, the craftsmanship, while they're still there, I think if you actually get close to the edge of the wall,

it comes up short. It does. I'm in that room right now. Perfect. Flush. Anywhere in that room right now. Perfect. Flush. Anywhere you look, it's flush. I had to go across the street to the Frisch's house once the swearing started because it was constant. Yeah.

I remember. I mean, if I could have gone up and gone like, maybe instead of parquet floors, what if we just do dirt? You know, my favorite story about inanimate objects someone wanting to hurt them fred armisen told me a great story where this is back obviously i'll date it by the technology but he had a palm pilot and he was trying to sink something on the palm pilot and he tried so many times and he just couldn't sink it. So the Palm Pilot was useless. And he said he very calmly went into the kitchen and he filled up a big pasta pot full of water.

And he took the Palm Pilot and he just held it underwater. He drowned it. He said he went like a fugue state. And then he sort of came to it. He was just holding a Palm Pilot underwater until it just became soaked and useless. Another one that comes up a lot, Mom, because I feel like to this day, you might still sing its praises. A demonstrably bad trip was Molasses Pond.

Oh, I love Molasses Pond. So you booked Molasses Pond. Obviously, this is your pick. So you booked Molasses Pond, obviously. This was your pick. Now, back in the day, you know, again, pre-internet, where would you find out about a place like that? It was in the Bedford Bulletin. Okay, so that's our local newspaper. And it was way, way up in Maine.

We'd never been that far before. And it was just an ad for it? Yes. And one of the highlights was they said you could bring a dog and we had Albert, who was a big dog. So I don't think we'd ever before or since taken him on a trip. Had a canoe, had a beautiful little cottage. And you still have Albert, right? We have Albert VI now, but we do still have Albert. For our listeners, my parents are on their sixth old English sheepdog. All of them have been named Albert.

Correct. But one of the things about that trip, a bad bug bit me, if you'll remember. We do. And my arm started to swell up. And Daddy said, well, I'll just draw a magic marker and see how it swells up. And by the night, my arm was like a balloon. And I said, do you think we should do something? And he said, well, the hospital is really far away. And I don't know, you'll be okay by morning. And I'm

thinking, will I? What was, wait, talk me through magic marker again, dad, as a medical treatment. It was not, it was where this bug bit her, there was a red welt. I see. Okay. And it felt a little hot. And so she said, I think my arm's going to swell up. And I said, well, let me draw a circle around it and we'll see if it gets bigger or whatever. And by morning, she looked like an ad for Target. In the morning, you probably didn't need the magic marker to know that something had gone terribly wrong.

No. Correct. No. But what did we do? Do you remember what we did? Well, I had to go to an emergency room. So we all went in the car. I think so. We might have left the kids at kids there. It wasn't a big deal. But the other thing they had, which I'd never been never even known about, which I thought might have been fun. Interesting was an outhouse. Oh, yeah, That does sound fun. Yeah, fun and interesting. Yeah. You got my attention. I had never known anything about them growing up in March.

You know, if you go to Manoirs, you're not using an outhouse. Right, exactly. They didn't even have them at the places in Florida. They had inside plumbing. They say if you're staying at a place with bugs who can sting you bad enough that you go to an ER, you want the bathroom out of the house you want it to be a walk yeah at night at night you want to have reason to leave and go somewhere where uh also you know bugs famously hate human waste

famously famously why do you guys remember it as being so bad from your perspective well i think josh famously wrote a school paper about it yes i mean i remember again uh and and this becomes thematic i remember josh and i had a weird cabin room with a bunk bed and i sort of just spent most of that trip on the top bunk either reading or playing one of my idol games of nonsense. But I think I kind of thought of it as a fine average trip. And then Josh wrote as negative a review about it. I'd love to read that. Yeah.

There are things about it that I remember fondly. I should also say, I'm pretty sure in a really funny way, Josh wrote it like an ode to Molasses Pond, that as you read it, it became very clear that it was a hit job. Yeah. So what were you going to say, Pashi? I mean, I don't have a great visual on it, but I do remember being out on the boat. Yeah, I remember some rhyme that I came up with that was like, mommy's a martyr, Sufi has tartar, and Daddy's a farter. I remember that.

But yeah, so I have some fond memories. It's really, martyr's a very funny word. Because when it turns up in, say, a crossword puzzle or something, I'm so aware that I learned martyr not from the ancient text, biblical text or King Arthur tales, but of dad telling mom not to be a martyr. 100%. 100%. Yeah.

Now, mom, also, you've taken a lot of heat over the years on family trips. You will turn on Dad. You will jump on the side of the boys. You will turn on Dad. And we went to the 2005 Super Bowl. And I think that was when

you received a nickname. At the time, Terrell Owens was sort of known as a team wrecker. And you were labeled by the family as T.O. because you were clubhouse, you were locker room poison. Yeah, it was a bowling game, I think. Yeah. Will you admit that you're a little hard on dad when you're on a family vacation? Yeah, probably. Yeah. Are you going to try to rectify that behavior in the

future? In the future? Well, since now it's just the two of us, I got to keep on his good side. Yeah. And you guys still travel a lot, the two of you. You're very active. We do. And we have a lot of fun traveling. Yeah. We definitely do. We really do enjoy it. We do enjoy it. I'm thinking about other vacations when you were a little bit older. There was one time, again, before you were married, before Josh was with his girlfriend, his serious girlfriend, and it was just the four of us. We used to try to go on a vacation in the summer. We did some different things.

And there was two that I remember. One is we went up to Northern California to wine country. I think we started in Healdsburg and we took this bike trip around this, this big 10 mile loop and there and stopped at wineries along the way. I had these brochures back at the hotel and I said, Hey, here's some things we can do. You know, we could, we got horseback riding. Josh was always pretty. Yeah. Okay. Seth, no, I don't want to do that. So, I keep flipping through. I go, how about hot air ballooning? Hillary said, no. Josh said, yeah, I'll do it. But he didn't seem really enthusiastic. And then you said, stop it. Stop making these suggestions. And I said, why? He said, well, what does hot air ballooning and horseback riding have in common? I said, they don't have anything in common. He said, yes, they do. You don't have any control. I'm not doing it if we don't have any control. I want to be able to stop. I remember once we were in Vancouver and we were sitting outside having a nice dinner and we saw a

party boat go by. And I said, oh my God, look at all the fun they're having on that party boat. And you said the same thing. You said, what the hell? There's no way to get off. If you're sick of this, you can't get off. You're just stuck there. But there's irony. Go ahead, Seth. I'm sorry. Well, no, is the irony that we had a party boat back in the day? Oh, we did have a party boat for a while. Good point. The irony back on the trip in Northern California was we decided to do something where you did have control, and that was canoe down the Russian River. Yeah. And so we decided to do something where we met your criteria for control, and it was a very nice thing to do.

We stopped. We got these nice sandwiches from this nice place, and we're canoeing down this river and sort of getting hungry. And there's all these rocks on the right. I said, well, let's go pull over and we'll sit on those rocks and have our lunch. And then mom says, I don't want to sit on those rocks. Those rocks are uncomfortable. It does sound like you. It's an excellent mom.

It does sound like you. It's a really good mom. Yeah. And let's sit over in that meadow. It's an excellent mom. It does sound like you. It's a really good mom. Yeah. Let's sit over in that meadow. It's nice and soft and everything in the grass. And so, okay. We take the canoes over to the other side to the meadow.

We sit down in this meadow. First of all, there's bees all around and everything else. And then it turns out it's full of poison ivy. Yeah. And you get terrible, terrible poison ivy. I'm not supposed to be outside guys yeah you got so your poison ivy was so bad we were supposed to share a bed and you went and like slept there was a little couch and you slept on the couch and had to like wrap your leg in a towel because your leg was crying i don't yeah i don't want to get graphic about the level of this poison ivy but i remember we went to the french laundry remember we had like this

incredible meal and all i remember about that meal was like going into the bathroom and like unwrapping my leg and it was i, I just felt like a World War I soldier who was like, I think I'm going to lose the leg. But I also thought, you know what? It's just poison ivy. How bad can it be? And I flew back to New York. And the next morning, my leg had swollen

to what seemed like twice its size. And I knew it was twice its size because the night before I'd put a little marker on it. size and I knew it was twice its size because the night before I'd put a little marker on it. I mean, I grew up, you know, not with a doctor as a father, but obviously I knew some of the tricks. So, but I went, I had to go to the ER. It's the only time in my life I went to the ER in New York City and they said I shouldn't have flown. Like my leg was so infected that flying was actually deeply dangerous. And so when people. Would it have blown up or something?

Yeah, the leg would have blown up. Yeah, that's what happens. That's why you have to use the magic marker. Yeah, they said what we're worried would have happened is your leg would have hurt, that you would have actually stood up to stretch it, and then the pilot would have slammed on the brakes your leg would have been fine we just think you would have you would have broke your wrist yeah you would have broken your wrist i remember this vacation fondly but i i feel like it was also kind of a loser um but the when we went to shabig oh shabig island and the shabig in in maine after that we sort of

we started fantasizing about that one day we would open a hotel like we would own in we would open it in and we call it the all-in yeah mom would be the chef and i don't know what any of the rest of us would do but but the the worst there they they had advertised bicycles and then we went to look at them and they didn't have wheels on them they had it was pitiful we said what's with the bikes and they said sorry they're all you know this is what they are that's not what the guy said he goes it's the guests the damn guests i mean they were just the worst and they had bought the end they clearly hated it okay they weren't putting any effort into it and everything was just awful and we went there i

think because you didn't read about that your brother uh one of your brothers not the one whose head got stuck in the door but the other brother said oh this is great they're gonna love so it was that to me rock bottom rock. But maybe that's why we thought we, like this inn is in dire straits. And we could do better and we could buy it and we could revamp it and turn it into the all in. I will, this is where I really, having kids this age now,

we would go on camping trips every now and then. I remember Uncle Kurt. And frequently, but yeah. But you realize as a kid all you care about is what you're gonna eat and what the snacks are because we would stop at a convenience store right before we sort of fully went in the wilderness and you'd sort of load up for the trip and i just remember and again I have so much appreciation now for the parents, the work that parents have to do for a camping trip.

And you have to make sure you have everything you need. And I remember as kids, we didn't drink a ton of soda. And I remember one trip saying, can I get a sun-kissed? I just wanted a sun-kissed so much, that orange syrupy soda. And you guys relented and let me get a sun-kissed. And we got to this, you know,

beautiful campground. And I remember dad, you were setting up the tent and I was saying, can I have my son kissed? We literally just got there. You're like, we're not having the sun kissed right now. I have this.

I just, I'm having a hard time thinking past the sun kissed. Yeah. We didn't do much camping. You guys weren't really campers. No, we did have a big tent, a big sleeping tent and stuff like that. But no, we weren't really into it very much at all. Talking about Sufi saying that he was born to stay inside. Because I remember one time you got hurt doing something and he would say, it's a death trap outside.

Don't go outside. Outside doesn't want you. And I don't want them. But going back to skiing, when you first started skiing and it was just prohibitively expensive originally to take you guys out west. We rented this place, which was a very nice place in Northern Michigan, which would cost us less for the whole winter than going out West for a week. And it included a week in the summer, the week before the 4th of July, and it had a party boat.

That's where we had a party boat. That's the party boat. Yeah, we didn't have a party boat. No, it was part of the house thing. And it was only about 12 or 15 units on this nice little lake called Walloon Lake. But we used to go up there on Friday night and we would get there. The TV show Dallas was on, but we used to get there right around when Dallas was on. And then I remember we used to play a lot of games where I would throw socks, like sock football, and you'd be diving and seeing how far you could dive onto these couches and everything else. And then we would go skiing. But very often,

it was very cold and very snowy. And Josh didn't care what the weather was. It didn't matter. We went to go skiing. He wanted to go skiing both days. But very often, you and mom, if the weather was bad on Sundays, you would not come skiing the second day. Josh would always go. I was trying to remember back to those because now, well, you know, our boys are learning to ski on a small mountain in Connecticut. And it reminds me of those small Michigan mountains. And I try to remember any memory of going down the mountain. And all I can remember about skiing as a kid is being on the chairlift,

being so cold and thinking, when is this day going to be over? Not going skiing. I would imagine that I often argued for that, but I will say that the grandest part of skiing with the four of us is that mom was my wingman and we would after we would all go in for lunch together and then she and I would stay and we would spend the rest of the day in the lodge and each of us had brought a book do you remember that hurry oh it was a beaut it was a beaut yeah talking about like just being a kid and how everything delights you a ski lodge flat ass gray burger on the worst bun nothing made me happier i feel like that i remember that ski lodge also had like donuts they had old-fashioned donuts that were warm and you could have them dipped in chocolate i wish everybody who's listening

could see the zoom hurry leaned in so hard donuts they were the bet like i mean that's maybe my biggest memory of skiing those mountains that was that was a water waterville valley if i remember right here in new hampshire but the other thing is i remember we would go you know most of the time after we moved to new hampshire we, we didn't go out West very often because we could ski here. We would go up to some in, in ski country and it would be a pretty big place. And you guys were pretty young. And the other thing you used to do, we would get in the room and you'd say, we're going to go explore. And then you would just take off.

And it was, it was like the, the shining, you know, like a big building like that. And you guys would just take off. Oh, this is a true story. I don't know if we ever told you this, and I don't even know if Josh was with me. But yes, we would love to run through hotels and try to find each other. Because they weren't so massive. But I feel like they were usually four floors and a couple different ways to go. A little room with the ice machine.

Yes, exactly. And it was, but your memory of it is absolutely right. That was the dream for me. I can't remember any of the mountains, but I was running down a hallway and there was a stairwell where you could see in the rooms and a dude walked out of his bathroom fully naked and he looked out the window

and I was just standing there looking at him. And I definitely think it was the first adult genitalia, you know, present company excluded. We made some real eye contact. And it was so funny because you're running down those hallways pretending, you know, you're making up some story where you're, you know, a criminal on the run. And, you know, it was like I was living the real thing then. And that was when I was so happy that Josh looked enough like me that I could go back to the room and hope that he would find Josh and kick his ass. Just another thing back on the theme of you being more cautious than Josh.

Once again, before the significant others were in your lives, we went to Bermuda and in Bermuda, you can't rent cars. You can only rent mopeds. And so we went to the moped rental place. So mom's going to ride with me. And then Josh gets one and we get one for you. And I think you drove it around for like a few minutes and then dropped it off, said, nah, I'll ride with you, Josh. I'm not drove it around for like a few minutes and then dropped it off. Said, nah, I'll ride with you, Josh. I'm not doing it. I didn't, you know, so I spent, yeah, a whole week basically sitting behind my younger brother, arms wrapped around his waist.

Never regretted it for a second. Knowing the other option was riding on a moped that I was in charge of. Yeah. Uh-uh. I regretted it. I'm pretty sure. Because without you on the back, then I could sort of swerve back and forth

and really sort of feel the road and the wind. Or maybe you go out to dinner and you meet a young lady and she's like, oh, can I have a ride home? And I'm like, hey, are we going to go? I left my inhaler back in the room. I left my inhaler back in the room. Another thing about that trip that was pretty interesting because that's, you guys were pretty well grown up then we did that, which doesn't make you sound great, Seth, by the way,

but you were pretty grown up. I should note. I want to make it super clear when we say pretty grown up, I was a hundred percent on SNL. That's right. yeah i was late 20s and uh small time famous riding on the back of a moped with your brother who was who was he who was uh either on mad tv or that 70s show i think mad tv at the time and those shows were on rival networks so it was very rare to see uh two people one person from fox and one person on nbc on the same moment

yeah that would have been like seeing dr uh gregory house on the office well but i remember about the fact that you both were working and earning a respectable living. We went to dinner one night in a nice place in Bermuda. It's a bit pricey. And we were sitting on this cliff looking over the water and they bring me the check. And you said, oh, let me get that. And I looked at the check and I said, are you sure? He goes, yeah, let me get it. And you did, you bought dinner. And the next night we were in a similar situation. The check comes to me again and Josh said,

hey dad, let me get that. Again, are you sure? Yeah, I got it. And we went back to the room afterwards and mom and I are in bed and I go, I think we're finished. I think if there we're finished I think if there's any money it's ours now it's all ours now

don't say anything I'll buy dinner tomorrow I just don't piss them off but yeah that was a pretty nice moment right I do remember I remember that trip that was a great trip a younger story from Bermuda

that involved the Bermuda Portuguese. In high school for Josh, Seth must have been in high school too. We were going to NASA and Josh was playing baseball for high school and they were going to have practices over the holiday. And so if he didn't go to the practices, he wasn't going to be able to be on the team. So this is before all the security that we have in airports today. So we had already bought the tickets and we couldn't get a refund. So Seth had a good friend named Alex. So we said, why don't we just take Alex? Because you didn't need a passport to go to the Bahamas at the time. So we'll just take Alex. We'll give him Josh's driver's license and just say he's Josh. And that's what we did. We took Alex. First thing that happened is when we got there that night, you and Alex took off

and you went to the casino. I think you were playing slots and won some money or something. A roulette. Because the next day you won a lot of money playing roulette. Yeah. I came home with like 400 bucks, which was a lot for, yeah. Yeah. And at one point you were accumulating all these chips because in roulette,

they give different people different color chips. And you were betting based upon the numbers of red sox players yeah yeah you know put 10 chips on nomar 15 on dewey evans stuff like that and you were really amassing all the chips in that color and at some point like one of the guards came over and said how old are you guys and alex wasn't quite old enough and uh they threw you out uh my friend alex he then was a federal old enough and they threw you out. My friend Alex, he then was a federal prosecutor and they were actually vetting him for a judge position

and the reason he didn't get it is one, he was in that casino and two, he lied about being Josh to fly. I feel guilty now. Well, yeah, he got a free trip. Free trip. He got a free trip. Yeah, free. Come on. Well, yeah, he got a free trip. Free trip. He got a free trip. Yeah.

Come on. Well, Josh, do you want to ask mom and dad our questions? So, yeah, we do have some questions that we're asking all of our guests. We'll take these separately. Mom, we'll let you go first on each question, and then dad, you'll answer after. So, Hurry, is your ideal vacation is it relaxing adventurous enlightening or educational relaxing daddy boy one word larry one word thank you for the correction after i said one word what did did you say? What was it? We couldn't hear it over mom's criticism.

Active. Active wasn't one of the four words, but moving on. Would you, your preferred mode of transport, trains, planes, automobiles,

boats, or on foot? Oh, maybe boats. Boats. Boats. Boats. Interesting. I don't think that's true.

Where have you gone on a boat? We do those Northwestern things. Oh, yeah, you have. You have been on a Viking cruise-like type thing. It's not close to Viking, yeah, but I like those. Okay. Daddy. Plane.

Plane. All right. If you could take a family vacation with a family other than your own, they can be alive or dead, fictional or real, a family that you would love to go on a vacation with. And whoever's ready first can answer this one. Oh, my gosh. Oh, that's a hard one. Nothing's coming to mind. Well, it's certainly nobody I know.

Okay. Okay. Take that as a feather in your cap, everyone who my father has. It's really, that's a very, I mean, well, you gave us a pretty broad. They're dying to go on vacation with a guy who takes a swing at the coffee table. No, I'll tell you, we've actually done this and had a good time. We have cousins, six kids in one family. Their family name's McChesney. They all have a lot of children. There's another part of that family, each with two kids and they have children. And every other year they get together at Wild Dune, South Carolina,

and there's about 40 people all related. We were there one year and there were four generations. I was the oldest. There was a little kid that was six months old, a fun group of people to be with. And it was over 4th of July. We had a really great time. They're good people to vacation with. We have cousins, but we never sort of did things collectively with our cousins. And I'm very jealous of the McChesneys. They do have that real, it's a real tight-knit group.

It's very contagious. Their love of each other's great. You're around there and you feel like a McChesney pretty quickly. So that's a good pick. That's a good get. They're wonderful people. From the morning,

I mean, when you get to the beach, they'd have tents set up and blankets and coolers and everything. And some of the guys in their 20s would go get everything set up. And then we had an Olympic event. We picked up teams and we had the Olympics. And at night, we were all in different places.

Some of these places slept quite a few people. And a different place would do dinner every night. And then there was places where they had live music. We would all go out and we would be dancing. Yeah, it was really, really, it's a really fun group. I haven't answered this, but I will say if there's one family, I hope to one day take a vacation with that's not my own. It would be my wife's family. I, you know, I hope.

I don't know if opportunity will ever present itself, but I would love to, I'd love to go on vacation with them. You know, I hope. I don't know if opportunity will ever present itself, but I would love to. One can only hope. I'd love to go on vacation with him. You know what? I hope I don't regret this. I'd love to foot the bill. All right.

This one can get a little circular firing squad with this crew. But if you had to be stranded on a desert island with one member of your family, who would it be? My immediate family? Yeah. It can be extended. Blood relation. It has to be a blood relation, Harry.

Well, it can't be one of you. It can be one of us. Oh, well, I can't pick one of you. That's not fair. You could pick one of us. I mean, I think we all know you want to say poshy. If you think Daddy and I are sitting here crossing our fingers being like, By the way, there's no way.

If you said Daddy, he would take you to the ER immediately. All right, then. Poshy. All right. There you go. The news is out. Daddy boy. Before you even say it, I don't want to go.

Yeah, because he wants you to be active. See how you like that. It involves being outside. A lot of him being like, you go climb up that tree, you get the coconut. That's right. Well, fuck you. I'm going with Poshy.

All right. I got a couple desert islands to be stranded on. Dad, you're from Pittsburgh. You think Pittsburgh is a good place to go on vacation, to take a family vacation? Probably not, if you're not from Pittsburgh. I mean, we love it. We have a great time. We go back for football.

There's interesting things to do, good restaurants, lots of friends, and so forth. So for me, it's a very good place to go. I love going back. But I don't think, as the general public, it would be high on the list. All right. And Mom Marblehead, Massachusetts, do you recommend as a vacation destination for the listeners? I do.

It's got everything. It's got the ocean and it's got boats. There you go. And you know what? Are they still making pizzas at Marblehead House of Pizza? Marblehead, every time I go, I bring one home. Marblehead House of Pizza is one of those great New England pizza places that a uniquely good pizza. I've never tasted one like it.

No, it's very different. And it's the ground beef pizza that you get yeah isn't that yeah and the um the barnacle my favorite lobster bowl place in the world it is i think ways we talk about a lot of these are you know these are places we go on family vacations we started by saying we would take road trips to marblehead and road trips to pittsburgh and i will say another when i think about pizza as an adult, I still think of Marblehead House. And when I think of hot dogs, I think of the original in Pittsburgh. Rest in peace closed down during the pandemic, but the best hot dog I ever had was,

was the Dirty O in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. And then Sufi, you want to finish off here? Oh yeah. Have you guys been to the Grand Canyon? No. No.

Do you want to go? Yes. I would, I would like to see the Grand Canyon? No. No. Do you want to go? Yes. I would like to see the Grand Canyon. Interesting. I'd like to see it before the Colorado River dries up. Yes. Well, you know what? Instead of the desert island, why don't you take Poshy to that?

Because I'm not interested. I love the idea. They're like, oh, no, don't worry. The donkeys are trained not to just take a header off the side of that narrow path. I wouldn't do that. One year, my sister Alex was going to do that burrow to the bottom and stay at a place there. And she said, do you want to come with me? And I thought, wait a minute.

No, I want to stand up above it and look down. That's all I want to do. Yeah, no donkeys. No donkeys. I would want to do the river rafting. We did that too once. Didn't you guys do river rafting with us? Yeah, the Kennebec River up in Maine.

Kennebec River in Maine, yeah. It's too frightening, too much danger. I will say the reason, there's one reason to go whitewater river rafting with your kids. It's a great picture. Oh, it's a genuinely, we have a great picture of our family. Everybody's screaming at the same time. And again, I, I, no one's going to think that I I'm pushing for people to take, you know, risks, but that one's worth it for the picture.

For the picture. Okay. I'll give you that. I still have that picture rolled up in a thing in the closet downstairs. We haven't looked at it for the picture. For the picture. Okay, I'll give you that. I still have that picture rolled up in the closet downstairs. We haven't looked at it in 30 years. But it's a great picture. It is a great picture. Maybe you guys, when this is over,

you'll roll on downstairs and take a look at the picture together. I'm way too busy. I can't believe. Yeah, I mean, we were obviously very worried we were going to be able to book you for this podcast with your busy schedule. Yeah. Well, how do you guys feel about your first podcast?

Oh, I think it went pretty well. Yeah, what would you give dad on a one to 10, mom? I'd probably give him a five. No, maybe a six. Oh, well, that's nice. Just because I could cut his stories in half and make him just as good. Oh, I disagree. I think Dad was on the money today.

I think you're, this is where you're being a real T.O. You're being a T.O. right now. Am I? I'm going to tell you something right now. The four of us just had a really great podcast. People are going to really enjoy it. I bet if you look in the podcast comments, the takeaway is going to be like, how could that woman give that nice man a five? Oh, this is not going on the podcast. People are going to really enjoy it. I bet if you look in the podcast comments, the takeaway is going to be like, how could that woman give that nice man a five? This is not going on the podcast. I thought this was between us.

Too late. Wait a minute. I'll give him an eight. Nope. Too late. Still too low. Still too low to you. Still too low. We love you guys. Love you, Fiffy Much. Love you, Fiffy Much. We love you, too. Yeah, Fiffy Much. This was a lot of fun. When are we doing it next?

We'll have our people call your people. Is there any money in this, by the way? No, that part's not for the podcast. Okay, bye. Bye. Bye. There's a little song. Daddy boy and mommy girl.

They're the two best sons in the whole damn world. Daddy gonna try to keep his temper in check. Mommy girl gonna hope that she's not allergic. Problems came up in a Florida lobby. Table came out of nowhere, hit Daddy in the knee. He screamed, hey, Table, trust. You don't want to mess with me. Shook his fist for everyone to see.

Oh, yeah, we would bond over anaphylactic shock on my license bond. We encounter calamity, but it made us stronger as a family, you see. I don't know how this audio is going to be, but we have no home movies. We weren't a family that did home movies. No. I guess that's because Grandpa didn't know a guy. He did. He just wasn't there that day. We have one cassette tape that our Uncle Kurt, Mom's younger brother Kurt, was on a road trip with us through sort of northern New Hampshire, the Kankamangus Highway, which we always called the Kankamangus Highway.

And I've just been listening to this tape and I just want to play this one little thing. We were really working on singing a song together and I feel like we remember that we did this well, and I don't think we really did. But just let's listen to a second of this real quick. Wait, let's just record what we've already said. I think it works, but just because they're wrong, we'll go like this. Stand by your man, layeth him two arms to hold him, and never, never scold him when he is cold and lonely. The first one we play is probably the first one. No, no, we'll only play it all at an appropriate moment. Alright, ready?

Ready. One, two, three. Stand by your man. Whoop, whoop, whoop. Give him two arms to hold him. And never, never stall him. I can't do it. I can't. I can't do it. I can't. I can't. I can't do it. I can't.

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I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it.

I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it.

I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it.

I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it.

I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it.

I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can Pretty good. That's why I didn't buy a video camera. Imagine how much worse it would be.