Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers - TIFFANY HADDISH Wanted to Show You the Bones
Episode Date: November 26, 2024THE Tiffany Haddish joins Seth and Josh on the pod this week! She talks all about working for the airlines and taking trips with her perks, seeing the world’s largest buddha in Thailand, traveling t...o Victoria Falls on the Zambezi River during a full moon, officially becoming a naturalized Eritrean citizen, stories of skeletons of giants in the Grand Canyon, and so much more! See Tiffany co-host Black Comedy in America Tuesdays at 10PM ET/PT on VICE TV. Support our sponsors:AirbnbThanks to Airbnb for their support of Family Trips.  Visit Airbnb.com today and book a guest favorite.  These are the most beloved homes on Airbnb. Public RecUpgrade your wardrobe instantly and save 20% off with the code TRIPS at https://www.publicrec.com/trips #publicrecpod #familytrips #sethmeyers #joshmeyers #tiffanyhaddish Executive Producers: Rob Holysz & Jeph Porter Creative Producer: Sam Skelton Coordinating Producer: Derek Johnson Mix & Master: Josh Windisch Episode Artwork: Analise Jorgensen
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey Bashi.
Hey Sufi.
It's so lovely to see you.
Yeah, you too.
This is really one of my favorite conversations we've ever had.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
I haven't heard this episode back yet, but I'm going to put it in my top five.
And we will not belabor the intro so you can get to this conversation with Tiffany Haddish, but I do want to say something about my walk
to school with my three children today.
And in order to do this, I do want to timeline a little bit
for our listeners, which is on November 17th,
we went to a Pittsburgh Steelers game.
That morning, we recorded an episode with our parents
that will come out in late December.
We talk about the results of that game
the day before Thanksgiving.
This is the day before that maybe.
So the timeline is a little screwy
as for when our listenership is hearing
about the fallout from that game.
But I came home with three terrible towels
and on the walk to school today,
I gave them to my three children who were very happy
just because they were all carrying three yellow towels.
And Axel, I taught Axel how to sing Here We Go Steelers,
by the way, not a song, just a chant.
He was very excited about it.
And it was funny how I think every 10th person recognized
what they were.
Oh, yeah.
And were super happy and would yell like, go Steelers.
And the kids would lose their minds.
Oh, that's so great.
So it was a real A plus day.
And then Addie kept hers.
Did you see the picture yet?
Yeah.
And was using it as a blanket, like a, over her legs. And it's just impossibly cute.
Impossibly cute.
Do you often give them treats on the walk to school?
So here's the thing.
I had them in my bag and we were walking to school
and I was on purpose not gonna give them to them
on the walk, because I was worried about them
having, insisting on bringing them to school
and being like towel maniacs all day.
But then I accidentally opened my bag
and they were like, you guess who said this?
What is that?
That's Axel.
That was Axel.
And I was like, you know what?
Let's just throw caution into the wind.
They're just towels. They can't hurt anybody.
By the way, immediately Ash and Axel were like whipping at each other's faces,
like kids in a locker room towel.
But it was, for me, made me very happy to have the kids with their towels.
Yeah. I have to give myself a note any time I'm around mom and dad at a Steeler game
and the towels are out, you know what that note is?
Don't swing it in your face?
Yeah, well, the note is to myself and it's duck.
Because yeah, and sometimes they'll get a new towel
and it will still have like the little cardboard thing
on it that would have the price tag.
And that tag can
catch it right on the old bean pole and do some damage.
It's not good.
They're not great with towels.
They're not great with towel work.
But very exciting and you know this is a nice time of year to be doing our family trips
episodes Posh.
Absolutely. You know, people are enjoying them maybe on drives to see their family when their anticipation
is high or maybe on the drives home when their relief is high.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The great escape.
Well, this episode in particular, I think is going to bring a lot of people a lot of
joy.
Tiffany Haddish is a force of nature.
And yeah, this.
And maybe I'm going to go out on a limb and say maybe the most unique bounce on the Grand
Canyon that you're going to hear.
Oh, without a doubt.
Without a doubt.
So do please enjoy our good friend, Tiffany Haddish.
Family trips with the Myers Brothers.
Family trips with the Myers Brothers.
Here we go. There she is. Look at these twins.
Close, close.
Close.
Hi, Tiffany.
Hi, how are you?
We're good.
You know, we actually do the unofficial third Myers brother is a former co-star of yours, Ike Barinholtz.
I don't know if you know.
Really?
That makes sense.
That makes sense.
He fits in, right?
Yeah, yeah, he does.
Didn't you guys all grow up together?
No, we met him later in life, but in our twenties.
We say we grew up together, bro.
Just lie.
Also, by the way, Ike is still not grown up.
So I feel like I'm in the front.
I know. I'm getting there. When he grows up, I will is still not grown up. So I feel like I'm in the front. I know.
I'm getting there.
When he grows up, I will say I was there for it.
That's why I love him so much.
He's not grown up at all.
He is not grown up.
Yeah. Tiffany, we met,
I don't know that you would remember this,
but we met at some weird party.
There used to always be parties anytime, like a new-
It wasn't a diddy party.
It was not a diddy party. It was not a diddy party.
Never been to a diddy party.
Never been happier to say I've never been to a diddy party.
In 2024, you do have to throw that out when you hear we were at a party together.
Yeah, we were at a weird party.
No, no diddy.
It was like any time a new BlackBerry came out, they would like have these parties in
Hollywood. And we ended up at a party.
We were chatting and it was like at a very nice home. And you could hang out by the pool,
but you couldn't go into the home, which was like an architectural thing. And we were chatting
and having a very good time. And you were like, you don't know who I am right now, but
you will know who I am. And you had such confidence. And I feel like two years later, like, I knew
exactly who you were. You had, you had popped and I was like, oh.
It was a Samsung white glove party.
Yes.
Somebody performed too.
It wasn't Ray J.
It was somebody that was kind of like a, I want to say it was like Mario or something like that.
Somebody performed and they were giving out phones.
And I remember talking to you thinking
you were your brother.
And then I realized you weren't your brother.
Well, you called your shot.
You called your shot.
Yeah, yeah.
I did try to, I tried to shoot my shot.
Yeah, I did try to shoot my shot. I was shooting my shot.
Josh just got married and on Sunday,
no exactly, it started Monday morning
because it was a holiday weekend.
Monday morning I sat down with his new mother-in-law
and her best friend.
This is the last day of a three-day wedding.
And I talked to, and halfway through the conversation,
the friend realized I wasn't Josh.
Oh yeah.
Just like deep into the wedding weekend.
I'm like, still?
I gave a speech, he got married,
and you still can't tell us apart?
Was it an Indian wedding, three days?
No, we just took advantage of the holiday.
Yeah, it was a holiday.
Have you been to an Indian wedding?
Yeah, just to one day of the Indian, just to one day.
I've never been, I would love to go.
Not the whole three days, just one day.
It was fun, the food was good, I was dancing my ass off.
Yeah.
Yeah, yes.
Didn't even understand what the music was,
I was like 22 years old, like.
Yeah, but then they always told,
don't they always say like twist the light bulbs?
I feel like that's what I've been told.
Yeah, you're supposed to be like this,
but I was like this. You like twist the light bulbs? I feel like that's what I've been told. Yeah, you're supposed to be like this, but I was like this.
You were throwing the light bulbs all around.
I was throwing my arms everywhere. I was the, what they do that, the car dealership wind balloon thing.
You and I, you and I first met at the, oh, your SNL audition.
Yes. And you are in that really special fraternity,
I guess not fraternity, but you're in that special club
of people who auditioned for, didn't get,
and then came back and hosted SNL.
Yeah.
And then got an Emmy for it.
Oh, holy shit!
Yeah.
Oh, man!
I mean, that's really-
Maybe they should've hired me?
No, I'm glad they didn't.
No, they, wait, it worked out good for everybody.
And I do think, whereas it should burn Lorne a little bit,
I think he's very happy to give people a pathway
back to the show and admit maybe that he had missed the moment.
But I think Kevin Hart, Jim Carrey...
I heard in the streets that, you know,
if you're too shiny in the audition,
they might be like, ah, they, if you too shiny in the audition, they might
be like, ah, they might outshine the rest of the cast, might overpower the cast, you
know, they should have their own show.
We might go hire them for this.
We'll just catch them on the uprise when they can host.
Well, I remember, yeah.
That's what somebody had told me.
That's what the lighting guy told me.
The DP told me, you're not going to get this job.
I'm going to tell you right now.
It was like right when I walked out,
I got to take a picture with you and the janitor.
Yep.
So it was the only other black person
besides Keenan that I've seen there.
Well, I guarantee, by the way, that was late in my run.
I guarantee you would have outshined me.
So I am very appreciative that Lauren decided to wait.
Yeah, notined me. So I am very appreciative that Lauren decided to wait. Let you wait your turn.
I'm so glad and I'll go back to host anytime.
You, you know, there's a Family Trips podcast.
You are, of course,
you're in one of the great trip movies of all time.
I mean, that is sort of, I think for a lot of people.
Which one, Girls Trip or Bad Trip?
I mean, Girls Trip, I was going to say Girls Trip,
but it's true, you've been in a couple of good trip movies.
But Girls Trip is sort of like the introduction
to Tiffany Haddish for a lot of people.
Also, I've always told you this,
you have, I think maybe even obviously
before the movie came out,
you did the great Kimmel interview,
which is like when someone arrives as a talk show guest,
it is so rare these days,
but you told a great story about sort of almost like
being on a trip while you were making that movie. Is that something that you do when you're on set? Do you try
to take advantage and go out and enjoy where you are?
I always want to enjoy where I'm at. I always try to like go out and have fun and venture
out. If it's a day off or we got time, I got time. I'm going to go hit a comedy club. I'm
going to use my Groupon and like go do something,
I'm gonna see something I've never seen before.
I feel like, you know, I'm on this planet for so much time,
I'm in a place that probably half of the population,
more than half of the population will never get to see.
Go see it.
Like bear witness, that's what the good book says,
bear witness. So I'm always trying to be a witness. And I feel the good book says, bare witness.
So I'm always trying to be a witness.
And I feel like there's a lot of people inside
who if they have an off day, they just wanna, you know,
stay in their room, they wanna relax.
Are you, I mean, it strikes me that you're a very good person
at also dragging people to enjoy things
that they otherwise wouldn't do.
Well, you know, I am good at that.
I believe it.
I don't stay in... Well, it depends.
Sometimes I will just stay in a hotel and like just explore the hotel that I'm staying
at, right?
Right.
Once I've explored that, then it's time to go outside and I'm going to go and I'm going
to see if somebody else wants to go with me, but nine times out of 10, it's going to be
just me by myself.
But sometimes I am good at motivating others to come on outside with me.
And they come outside and we have a good time.
If you're on a tour group with a bunch of strangers, by the end of the tour,
have you befriended everyone you're with?
Yes. I go on group ponds all the time to like foreign countries.
And then you do, so like me and my best friend, we went to Thailand and China.
It was like $1,400. We got to stay in four star hotels. And then you do, so like me and my best friend, we went to Thailand and China.
It was like $1,400.
We got to stay in four star hotels.
How long ago is this?
This is 2015.
This is 2015.
And we went, there was, it was a group on.
So we had to travel in a group
and we got to go on all these tours.
And it was an additional 300 or $400 to get like
a lunch every day in a something like special temple tour and special this tour.
So we did it.
We were with a group of Americans, there was 30 of us.
And by the end of the whole thing, it was 11 days, by the end of the whole thing, we
all were friends, we became friends.
I mean, I think, I don't think I know I slept with one of them, but
that's me but you know. Are you still friends with any of those people?
Yeah, one of the girls, she started a purse line. And so me and my best friend, we always get our
purses. One of the guys, he's an accountant. He gave me the advice of every, he's like,
when you start making big movies, every year you should buy one piece of property
for 15 years.
And then by the end of that, you'll be a multimillionaire,
regardless if your career does well or not,
you'll be a multimillionaire.
Have you done that?
Have you bought property every look at that?
Well, every movie or TV show I do,
I buy a piece of property.
That's pretty good.
Well, you've had a. I'm past 15.
You called them up and you said, you aim too low.
You aim too low with me.
Yeah.
I'm like, hey, guess what?
Now I'm renting out those properties, a lot of them to organizations that house foster
youth.
So emancipated foster youth and current foster youth
are getting housed, they're getting educated,
life skill classes and all that.
So I feel very good.
I could be charging so much more for rent,
but you know, luckily the properties are in,
foundation names and stuff like that.
So it's kind of a write-off.
Yeah, there you go.
And you're paying it back.
That's what it should be.
If anybody hasn't read Tiffany's incredible,
The Last Black Unicorn, such a funny,
such a heartwarming story about the way you grow up.
You spent time in foster homes.
And I imagine, you know, you guys were in foster homes too?
Well, no. We were threatened with it.
We were threatened.
I imagine, like it would seemed like, you know, obviously a fairly tumultuous youth.
When was the first time in your life where you were in a situation to take vacations?
Was it when you started making your own money and had your own career success?
No.
So I started working for an airline once I got emancipated.
So I was working at American Airlines
and then I had to quit because they was mean.
I couldn't, I just got,
I couldn't fix myself to be that mean to customers.
I was just like, why?
Oh, they weren't mean to you.
They wanted you to be mean to others.
Yeah, you gotta be mean to the customers a little bit.
They say you gotta treat them a little bit like,
they didn't say you have to treat them a little bit
like shit, they never said that.
But they actions, the actions of the instructors.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm like, now do what I do.
They're at the ticket counter, do what I do.
And I'm watching them and they're like,
give me your IDs.
Are you sure you're going there?
Like that's what it felt like to me.
I was like, God, you don't have to treat them that bad.
They paid hundreds of dollars to go to this place.
But as I left there, then I went to Air New Zealand, which I loved.
And I got like a little bit of a discount on stuff.
And so I didn't really use I sold my discounts.
But when I got to Alaska Airlines, I was 21. And, and then I took a trip to I
went to, I would go to Hawaii. It was $75. It was 75 bucks. I was so dumb. I went with
my auntie. I should have went with a man.
Your auntie must have loved it.
My auntie did love it. But we both was like, we should have brought men.
You couldn't find some locals?
She was like 17 years older than me.
No, we could not find no locals because everybody was like into each other.
You know, everybody's like, it's Kauai.
It's like the honeymoon island.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No singles.
But I did get some surfing lessons
and my bikini bottom did kinda move to the side
and I was trying to show him a little something.
But he was not, he was not, he was not jumping on me.
And then I would take trips to Georgia every,
so I would trade my shifts off, like trade off,
so I have a whole month off.
And then I would go to Atlanta
and I would hang out at Clark Atlanta University with my best friend
The same one I went to China with into Thailand with and I would hang out with her and I would go to class with her
Every day, so I got an education for a month and then I would go and I would go back to LA
So I'm educated that's amazing. You would use your month
I mean, I would assume you also were socializing at night,
but I feel like nobody takes a month off.
Yeah, nobody takes a month off and goes audits classes.
Yeah, I was turning in homework and everything.
I turned in an essay.
Was the teacher confused?
They were just looking like,
do I have a hattish in this class?
Look, I would come at the beginning of the semester.
Right? So, and if you just hat or shoes on? Look, I would come at the beginning of the semester, right?
So.
Yeah, right.
New student.
And if you just keep, you know, personality,
if I learned anything, I learned the ability to charm people.
And I guess it's a form of manipulation,
but it was manipulation for the good.
I learned, I didn't get a degree, but I learned a lot.
I guess you were, you know, if your skill is charm,
maybe a gate agent is not the place to show it
because it is an antagonizing place.
But I was so good as a gate agent.
I was the best. Oh, you good?
What was your skill?
What made you good?
It was my ability to calm down the people.
Look at that. You know?
The flight is delayed.
I would make it fun, Okay. Okay. I'm going
to make it a good time. So, so I'll be like, ladies and gentlemen, Alaska flight 236 with
service to Los Cabos, Mexico is delayed. We're doing a little work on the engine. I want
you to get there safe. Don't you want to get there safe? I know you do when you're on that
beach in your two piece. So give us a little time and we'll get to you
and we'll have our MVP and MVP golds boarding soon.
Wow.
And then I come back 30 minutes later
and then they would come up to me and go,
what time is the two o'clock flight leaving?
What time is the two o'clock flight leaving?
I'd be like, two o'clock is the time it's supposed to leave.
What time it actually leaves? I'm not sure.
You see that tail? You see that tail? Looks like my Uncle Curtis. Okay? He's always late.
So we'll see what happens. We'll see what happens.
Cause you know the Alaska Airlines guy is on the back.
That looks like your uncle.
Uncle Curtis is always like, I would crack a joke or something and they would like calm
down and they would laugh and they'd be like, okay.
It got to the point where they put me in a baggage department and I was the queen of
baggage baby.
And people come in here all irate and say, you lost my bag.
I can't believe you lost my bag.
And I'm like, you damn right I lost your bag.
I flew all the way up to Juneau and I took your bag and I re-tagged it to go to Cabo.
Cause I knew you was coming here
cause I wanted you to come yell at me.
Now what's your name again?
They would start laughing.
They would start laughing and then I'd be like,
okay, give me your bag back, let me see.
And then bam, I'm like, oh, it'll be here in two hours.
We got you.
Did they, so they knew the people in charge of you knew you were good at your job?
They knew I was so good at my job that they was trying to get me to be a flight attendant,
but I didn't want to do that.
Hey, we're going to take a quick break and hear from some of our sponsors.
Support for Family Trips comes from Airbnb.
Hey, Baji.
Yes, Sufi.
We got our Pittsburgh trip coming up.
We do.
I'm fired up.
And one of the reasons I'm fired up is because once again,
we have booked an awesome Airbnb
and we're just gonna be hanging out
in one of dad's old neighborhoods,
dad's old stomping grounds.
Look, we used to stay at hotels.
It was great.
No complaints about it.
But this is something special because we're a family
and I feel like last year at our Airbnb,
it felt like the way we were a family when we were growing up.
We would all just meet downstairs.
We would get some bagels from a local place down the street,
brew some coffee, and we were just ready to face the day.
Yeah, and if we're out and about and we get home,
you might want to just throw on the TV
and see if there's a game on or play some Scrabble,
play a board game, and just be in that shared space
and be together, be in a home away from home.
And being in a living room with mom and dad
is very special, especially not their living room,
which is covered in dog dander
and gives me an allergic reaction.
Some trips are better in an Airbnb.
When you're traveling with a group of friends,
maybe you're traveling with a large family
or an extended family.
When you're looking for an authentic or local experience,
book your next awesome trip today at airbnb.com.
Support for family trips comes from public rec.
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Here we go.
Did you exit the airline profession
because of professional success as a comedian?
Was that what?
Let me tell you like this, OK?
I ended up in the very first colored edition
of the Alaska Airlines newspaper.
It used to be in black and white in the 60s, 70s, 80s,
and 90s.
But in the early 2000s, the very first color tradition,
I was on the cover at the Lab Factory doing comedy.
And they was saying,
our customer service agent, Tiffany Haddish,
is not only an excellent agent,
but also she is a standup comedian.
And she got to perform for our veterans
with Tommy Davidson
and what's the guy's name that was on?
Everybody loves, no, not girl.
Ray Ramona?
Yeah, everybody loves Ray.
The guy that plays the brother, Brett, no.
Oh yeah, Brad Garrett.
Brad Garrett, Brad Garrett,
and somebody else was on the show,
but it was a good show and
it was on the cover of, it made the cover of the Alaska Airlines newspaper and the cover
of the California section of the Los Angeles Times.
So I felt like, oh, I'm about to blow up.
That's it.
I'm finna kill it.
And then they fired me three months later.
Why did they fire you?
What? You were their cover girl.
Did they give you a reason when they let you go?
Yeah, I fucked up.
What happened?
Did you fly to Juneau and tag that guy's bag to Los Cabos?
Nah, from that moment on, I learned that I'm going to be a snitch.
From that moment on I learned that I'm going to be a snitch from that moment on because you
know you know when you don't snitch and then it makes you think you pay the consequences for that
but it like it panned out it was perfect it worked out perfectly that just 110 focused on my career
and yeah I became homeless a little bit after that but then I became unhomeless and then blah blah
blah blah I went through the journey and here I am today. Like I learned some valuable lessons from it,
but yeah, I learned don't cover for people all the time.
That's not gonna cover for you.
So I snitch now.
That's why they didn't invite me to none of them
after dinner parties.
Because I told them when I first met them.
I told everybody when I first meet them now.
Yeah, I told everybody when I first meet them,
all these like, you know, people that like,
seem like they like to have a real good time. I'm like, look, I tell everybody when I first meet them, all these people that seem like they like
to have a real good time, I'm like, look, I'm a snitch.
Okay?
So don't invite, if you don't want the world
to know about it, do not invite me to it.
They're like, this is not Alaska Airlines Tiffany anymore.
This is snitching Tiffany.
This is not Alaska Airlines used to run
with gangbangers Tiffany no more. Like, I'ma hold this secret if I got to suffer a little bit, no. This is not Alaska Airlines used to run with gangbangers Tiffany no more.
Like, I'ma hold this secret if I got to suffer a little bit, cool. No, no, I'm not holding secrets.
I'm telling it all. This is why I'm not an Illuminati, because they know I'ma tell
about all the rituals and everything. I mean, that's why I'm Jewish too, right? I'm Jewish.
The Jews love me because they like, oh, she telling how we pray. She telling how we did. She telling how we... So like, you know, I'ma, too, right? I'm Jewish. The Jews love me, because they like, oh, she telling how we pray. She telling how it is.
She telling how it is.
So like, you know, I'ma tell it.
Did you, do you, did you save a copy
of the Alaska Airlines newspaper?
Yes, I have it.
You still have it? I have a copy.
I might have, I might have a hundred of them.
That's wonderful.
So you knew when it happened, that was a big deal,
and you were just stacking them up and bringing them home.
It was a big deal to me because it was like, dang, my job is honoring me.
Like finally, you know, I would get letters every month of how good my service was and
how much they enjoyed me.
Our MVPs like they traveled all the time.
They always, you know, want to, they would wait for me to check them in.
They'd be looking for me.
Like, um, everybody knew my name.
Everybody cared like about like, where's Tiffany?
Where's Tiffany?
So to get that in the paper was like a big honor for me.
That's why they finally doing something to honor me.
And I appreciated it.
Going back to the, it was China and Thailand that you went to on the grip on.
What other than, uh, like like what are some highlights of that trip
other than the one person maybe you slept with and-
Sounds like definitely does.
And the lunches.
Yeah, sounds like it happened.
Like what did you see over there?
So we saw elephants and we went to all the different temples.
That was driving me crazy going to these
temples. We went to the Forbidden City and we went to all these different Buddhist temples,
which I was very excited about. But as we're going through, they have all these paintings
and murals on the wall and they're telling the story of mankind, right? And I was getting
very upset because they had the white monkey King and the black
monkey King and then the black monkey King did all these bad things. And we hate the
black monkeys. And then the white monkey King came in and saved all the brown people from
the black monkey King and the black monkey King army. And so now they worship the white
monkey King. And I was like, this shit is racist as fuck. I was mad as hell. I was so mad. And I was like, oh good, the green monkey
king is here. This is when the aliens show up. So then I was happy about the aliens.
I'm looking for the aliens. But yeah, that part, it was so beautiful, but it made me like kind of mad. But then I saw like the world's largest Buddha.
And then like we out.
Oh, I got heavy in the tea.
I got super heavy into the tea.
We did the tea ceremonies and stuff.
And so then I bought like probably 300 or $400 worth of tea sets.
And I bought probably $200 worth of tea.
And I did not have the money like that.
I didn't have it money like that then.
I didn't have it like that.
I was like, when we were flying back home,
I was like, ooh, none of that shit better not break
because I might have to sell it.
I might have to sell it
because I don't really got it like that.
You weren't making tea money yet.
I wasn't making tea money.
I wasn't making tea money.
I was spilling tea, but I wasn't making no tea money.
No, you weren't making it.
So, but yeah, then I got home, you know, we came home,
I threw a big tea party, invited all my friends,
and that was super cool.
And I was like, we're drinking up my chaina from chaina, guys.
Like, it was so cool.
And I do that, I like to throw tea parties.
Maybe one day I'll invite you guys.
I would love to go to Tea Party at Tiffany's house. You brought your, you said you brought your auntie. You have to wear a big hat. Oh yeah, of course. You have to throw tea parties. Maybe one day I'll invite you guys. I would love to go to a tea party at Tiffany's house.
You brought your auntie.
You have to wear a big hat.
Oh yeah, of course.
You have to wear a hat.
You brought your auntie to Hawaii.
Have you traveled a lot with family over the years?
Have you brought them on trips with you?
I travel with family.
Not all the time, but yeah, we travel, we travel.
Me and my auntie Mary probably travel together
the most. And my sister and I, we travel together a lot and that's super cool. My sister Tuesday,
she's the best.
What's the age difference with you and your sister?
Five years. And everybody thinks I'm the younger one.
Oh, well done. That's show business for you. That'll help. They've always thought that. I travel with my sister Jasmine too. It's funny, we travel,
everybody thinks I'm younger. I think everybody thinks I'm younger. Maybe they're just saying
that to be nice, but they're all younger than me, but they're giants. They're so tall.
They're like six feet and I'm five, six. So they're like, you know, people think they're older,
I think.
Yeah.
Do you have any favorite destinations that you've gone to
with your sisters or your auntie?
No, not with them.
Okay.
No, not with them.
Where do they want to go?
Like if your auntie is like, could pick a place
to go with you, where would she want to go?
Probably to Africa.
She would go to Africa with me. Gotcha.
She went to Africa and stayed there for like six months
and was like, you coming out here with me?
I was like, no.
But you've been, haven't you been?
Yeah, yeah, I've been a bunch of times.
You just didn't wanna go with her?
Yep.
Fair enough.
What's your favorite place you have been in Africa?
I would love to take them all, like my whole family, to like some island, right?
But then like I have a house on the other side of the island.
Right, you can meet for lunch.
And then I come and hang out with them, and we hang out, and then I go to the other side.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because we all talk too much, so it's like I need quiet time.
Gotcha. What is your favorite destination in Africa that you've been?
Oh, my favorite destination, I would have to say is Eritrea and Victoria Falls.
Okay, so Victoria Falls is worth it?
It's worth it. Oh, you got, if you're going to go, you got to go during the full moon,
bro. Really? If you go during the full moon, okay, so there's three days you got the day before the moon is
super full the day of the supermoon and the the night after. So those three nights, the moon is
out. When you go to Victoria Falls, you go on a daytime right you see all this beautiful rainbows
are so wonderful, majestic is, seven wonders of the world,
ooh. But when you go during a full moon, there's a lunar rainbow. So have you ever seen a rainbow
at nighttime? You can barely take a picture of it. And it's the most magical, amazing
thing I've ever seen. I stood there and watched it, I started crying like, dang, God be like, doing it with this artwork, boy.
God be like, oh, you think you can paint?
Watch this!
I have read about lunar rainbows, but I've never seen one.
And that seems like a place where you could almost
be guaranteed to see it as long as it's not overcast.
I would imagine if you go and it's cloudy,
you're just like all busted up about it.
But if it's a full moon,
you can only see it during a full moon.
Yeah.
And I mean, the weather's pretty good there.
It's like California, but better.
And I would think it's three nights.
So for any given one of those three nights,
you're gonna see the rainbow. Yeah. Is it crowded? Is there a lot of, I mean, I would imagine a's three nights. So for any given one of those three nights, you're gonna see the rainbow.
Yeah. Is it crowded?
Is there a lot of, I mean, I would imagine a place like that.
Are there a ton of people there?
No. Really?
No. At least not when I went.
Not when I went.
Maybe I was there during the down season.
I don't know.
I didn't even know about the lunar rainbow.
You were just dumb luck.
You were there for a full moon?
Yeah, I was there for a full moon. I was in the middle of my transformation into a werewolf
that I do every month because my endometriosis makes me kind of psycho. And I'm looking at,
I'm there in the daytime and I'm looking at the history of the falls, because I love history, I love
knowledge and they're like, yeah, Victoria Falls was discovered in 1898, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, discovered? People was here before then. What was it called
before it was called Victoria Falls? Because this white man came and was like, Oh, look, a waterfall. I discovered it. We're gonna call it Victoria because the Queen Victoria, maybe she'll let
me smell her. But I thought it was so funny. But I was like reading and it was talking
about the full moon. And then I looked on my calendar and it was like, Oh, it's a full
moon tonight. It's a foolish moon. And I was telling all my girls, we got to go look
at this and they say, oh, we're tired. We thought, no, bitch, we're going to look at
the full moon.
So who was your crew when you went to Victoria's Falls? Who were those friends?
My besties, Selena, Shemona, Sparkle, the four of us, we went to Zimbabwe, we went to Cape Town,
we went to Zanzibar, and it was fun.
That's cool. Yeah.
It was a good time.
Sounds like that's a crew that you travel with
semi-regularly then?
Yeah, with Selena, Shemona more so than Sparkle,
because Selena, Shemona got they all money.
Sparkle getting her money together.
Right, that's good.
Did you, and are you a naturalized Eritrean citizen now?
Yes, I'm a citizen now, yes.
That's fantastic.
What are the perks that come with your new citizenship?
Well, I can go and come into Eritrea whenever I want.
Great.
How hard is it for me to go and come?
Are they gonna give me a hard time if I?
Yes, they're gonna give you a hard time.
Well, they're not gonna give you that hard of a time.
You're just gonna have to take your passport to the embassy.
They're gonna ask you a bunch of questions
like why do you wanna go there?
What's your intention?
Are you trying to open up a fast food spot?
Cause you can't come.
Or you just try to come and see and learn and experience
then you can come through.
And then they give you a passport back
and then you go with your visa
and you
got six months to be there. Or three weeks depends on how they feel about you.
Oh really they can tell you with the stamp. You can you find out when you
leave you look at the stamp and you're like 24 hours.
Yeah you got 24 hours and you gotta get your white ass out of here.
Don't go naming our waterfalls.
Yeah these are our falls the name of it is.
I want to call this one Barbara.
No, no, no, it's my Owhi, it's my Owhi.
Oh yeah, but it was so much fun.
I love traveling.
Do you guys travel together a lot?
Not a lot anymore.
We take one trip a year with our, we have a group of friends
and so we take one trip a year.
We went to the Grand Canyon this year.
So that was our natural wonder that we went to.
Did you see the skeletons of the giants?
No.
But tell us everything about what you just said.
In the Grand Canyon, there is a whole nother city, okay,
underground, and there is giants that was living there.
There's giant statues and stuff,
and if you keep walking further and further
into the underground, there are skeletons of giants.
This is so exciting.
Big old, big old head, big long arms, femur bones, collar bones, you can make a foundation
for a house out of that clavicles, bro.
That's how big.
You can make a home.
You can do the foundation for the roof with the clavicle bones.
I know.
How did you come?
You gotta give me one of these bone houses.
How did you come to find out about this city of giants,
Tiffany?
It sounds like an alien excavation,
like Netflix sort of thing.
Alien apocalypse.
No, okay.
You have to read more often, guys, the internet.
I got it from the internet. I got it from the internet.
No, but there's a bunch of articles. There's so many newspaper articles from the 1800s
in the early 1900s of excavators, like digging to build buildings and stuff,
finding these bones all over the country. But there were a lot of bones that were found
by the Native Americans, by the way, in the Grand Canyon.
Before they turned it into a national park
and all that stuff, they were finding bones.
They also found a spaceship
and the government has blocked off a whole section
of the Grand Canyon.
You can't even get in there without government clearance.
Yep.
I saw that in a YouTube video.
This is exciting news.
So maybe the Grand Canyon.
So I'm getting into politics now just so I can get into that special section.
You want to see that Grand Canyon.
Of the Grand Canyon.
I'm about to run for city council in Arizona
so that I could see that special section of the Grand Canyon
because that's where my alien husband is.
Well, that's you should, by the way, you should run,
that should be your platform.
You're like, I'm going to find out and as you know, I'm snitching.
I'm snitching.
Whatever they show me, I'm telling you the voter.
Whatever they show me.
And I'm going to procreate with a green monkey.
Green monkey king. That's a giant.
So the Grand Canyon was just a public swimming pool, like a now empty public swimming pool
for giants.
I think the Grand Canyon was originally a landing spot.
Like it was land, you land in there and then the giants lived underground.
Okay. land in there and then the giants lived underground. Okay, if you go in there, I'm telling you that it's cavernous,
it's so huge, that's what a cave is, cavernous,
but it's so huge in there.
And the bones, the bones is big, I've seen it.
You went to the Bone City?
No, no, no, I saw it in the newspaper articles.
From the 1800s?
In the video, so you too.
Yeah.
Was it in the same Alaska Airlines newspaper?
No, it was not.
It was not.
It was in the Arizona Sentinel.
All right.
All right.
This is very exciting.
We talk a lot about the Grand Canyon on this podcast,
but this is, I mean, there's never been
so much breaking news.
You didn't know there was giants in there?
I didn't know there was giants in there.
They used to live there.
You see all the, what they call that writing,
that archaic writing that be on the wall,
is a script.
Hieroglyphics?
No, that's the topic.
Hieroglyphics.
Okay.
Yes.
But wait, is it hieroglyphics?
No, that seems to be. Native Americans write? Yeah. I thought hieroglyphics. Okay. Yes, but wait, is it hieroglyphics when it's Native Americans, right?
Yeah.
I thought hieroglyphics is what Egyptian writing is called.
Yeah.
But it's called something else.
Have you been to the pyramids?
Cause I feel like based on everything you've said
about the Grand Canyon, you'd lose your mind
at the pyramids.
Yo, yo, let me tell you about the pyramids.
Let me tell you everything about the pyramids.
I know we've been.
Well, first off, have you been? pyramids. Let me tell you everything about the pyramid. I know who you've been. First off, have you been?
No.
Okay, now tell me everything.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Bring it.
Bring it all, Tiffany.
I'm so knowledgeable about the pyramids
because first of all, they asked me,
somebody asked me to shoot my next special
in front of the pyramid.
Oh, beautiful.
The pyramid of Giza.
Great backdrop.
Right?
Yeah.
Because I'm an empress.
Actually, y'all should be referring to me as her highness.
I mean, if you had a special called empress
that was shot in front of a pyramid, I like that.
I'm clicking on that tile when I see it on my streamer.
You're clicking on that, right?
I'm also working on a show called Tiffany Hattish Gets Arrested.
That think is going to be amazing.
Is it about you getting arrested in Egypt?
You can't shoot here.
You got to get permits to shoot in front of a pyramid.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, but I do know a lot about pyramids though.
They're just power plants.
That's it.
They were power plants.
Okay.
For whom?
For the city.
Okay.
But this is sort of pre-power.
So what were-
No, they had electricity then.
Okay.
Great.
They just want you to think that they didn't
because it was black people that was doing it.
Oh, I see.
So that's what's so, so, you know, see,
when the colonizers can't take credit for it,
they try to make it like,
oh, it didn't happen.
Right.
No, it's just a wonder of the world.
It's a power plant.
That's great. All that copper and stuff and the water running underneath it wonder of the world. It's a power plant. That's great.
All that copper and stuff and the water running underneath
it and all the way.
I mean, it's a way to get like electricity
without harming anybody or the environment.
Clean, clean energy.
Yeah, yeah.
And it'd be free for everybody.
Just electricity, just go out into the ether,
like how we get wifi.
Yeah.
And then, you know, you just access it,
but they couldn't figure out how to make money off of it,
so they shit on it.
All right, that's good to know.
That's where we're learning a lot
about the wonders of the world.
Have you ever been- You're welcome.
Have you ever been on a cruise?
Yes, I hate cruises.
Why did you go on a cruise?
Groupon? So the first cruise,
the first cruise I went on was with my auntie.
Okay.
No, it was not a Groupon.
Groupon didn't exist then.
This is in 2001.
It was during 9-11, actually.
I was on a cruise to Jamaica and the Caribbean islands and then we got stuck on a boat for
like another week.
And yeah, and I hate cruises because my boyfriend boyfriend at the time that came on that cruise and he
made it really horrible.
And so, and then I went on another cruise when I was married and I hated that too.
And what did I learn?
Don't go on boats for long periods of time with men that you have sex with.
Oh, interesting.
Interesting.
Because they don't like it when you dance and make everybody laugh.
Oh no.
And everybody wanna be your friend.
It doesn't sound like the kind of person
you should be with. Hey Tiff,
you wanna come over here and play ping pong with us?
We're going over here and we're gonna play shuffleboard.
Come play shuffle with us.
Okay, oh, you gonna be in the karaoke show?
You know it, I'm gonna be in the karaoke show.
All right, Tiff, catch you at the karaoke show.
And then they like, how you know all these motherf gonna be in a karaoke show, I ain't tiff-catch at the karaoke show. And then they like, how do you know all these motherfuckers?
I just said hi, I don't know, I just said hi.
I don't know these people for nothing.
Yeah, these are the wrong guys.
These are the wrong guys for Tiffany Haddish.
And that's when I was like 21, and when I was 29, 29, 30.
And then I went on another cruise by myself. That shit was the best.
Where were you going? Where were your ports of call?
Oh, they're all down by Mexico. It's the need is was a audit the not instant need is with with
All the, not in some needless, what's it with, where Baja something, I was drunk.
I ain't gonna lie.
I was drunk most of the time.
That's back when I was like, get fucked up,
who cares what happens, not me.
It's a boat.
Yeah, as long as you stay on the boat.
Yeah, it was good.
I don't think I ever got off the boat on that one. Oh really, you didn't even go out. I had a blast. I don't think I ever got off the boat on that one.
Oh really, you didn't even go out?
I had a blast.
I don't think I even got off the boat, no.
Were they cruises with like water slides
and like all that crazy shit you see on the?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They had the water slides and like the kid shows
and all that stuff and it was like talent contest
that I got in, got in the talent shows.
I won all of them.
What is the prize you get for a talent show win on a cruise ship?
Free drink.
Oh, well.
So you know that work.
I know you docked out very nicely with it.
In a little trophy.
In a little trophy.
Yeah.
A little cruise ship trophy.
Is that next to your Emmy? Your SN, uh, Emmy, your SNL Emmy?
It's next to my track and field. No, it's next to my track and field trophies
from the 1900s, bro.
Did you, is there a place, because obviously you're pretty well traveled at this point,
is there a place you haven't been that you've always wanted to go?
Yeah. I want to go to Malta. I want to go to Fiji in Papiata Rarotanga. I want to go
to Auckland, New Zealand. I'll mention some other parts, Brisbane or whatever, but I want
to go to Auckland, New Zealand. I want to go to, where else I want to go? I want to go to, where else I want to go?
Oh, I want to go to the Sochelle Islands.
I want to go to, I haven't been to Ghana or Nigeria yet.
I want to go there.
I want to go to the Congo.
I've helped build houses.
I put some money up to build some houses there,
but I haven't been there yet.
Oh, that's nice to hear.
Cause you know, it's like over 2 million people
that are living in tents right now out there.
So for like 3000 bucks, you can build a two bedroom house with running water, bathroom, all that stuff,
kitchen, everything for like 3000. So I built a few houses.
Wow. Good for you.
To help people, you know?
Yeah. With all these places on your list, do you sort of, I know, I mean, just from your resume that you work
a lot, so when you, you know, see a gap of time coming up in the schedule, do you just
book something? Are you pretty proactive? Yeah. Yeah. I get on it. I be on it. I be
gone. You know what I'm about to do next month? Oh, man, it's gonna be crazy. Okay. Because
I've been hanging around some different kind of people, you know, learning things and stuff, you know,
learning what's going on in the world.
So I'm about to go up to Oregon, Portland, Oregon,
and I'm gonna sit in a cave in the dark.
Oh really, you're gonna do one of those dark-
For four days.
Four days.
By myself in the dark.
I'm gonna have so much fun
cause finally I get to finish my thoughts.
Oh my god. So it's not other people are there, you just go by yourself.
By yourself.
What do you bring into the cave with you?
Nothing. A blanket. And there will be food in the cave and water.
But no sunlight for four days?
No sunlight for four days.
And do you know people who have done it?
Yes.
And what do they say, like, what do they say is the good
part, like when it's over, what are you hoping to feel?
When it's over, I'm hoping to feel like,
like centered, grounded.
Also, what they say feels like you in your mother's womb when you're in there.
It's like you in the womb and you can't really hear anything except for like a little bit
of nature outside. And so I'm hoping to get some fucking peace and quiet.
All right. Yeah. They have a bed.
And when I come out of there, it's a bed in there and everything and I said when I come out
I hope I feel like I did when I was born except less beat up
Okay, I remember being born and it was it was difficult
It was the most pain I ever experienced in my whole life being you
That's why I could never been there done, don't want no parts of it.
That place hurts, it hurts a lot.
I think it probably doesn't hurt when you're
not coming out of it.
It hurts when you're born.
Think about it, bro.
I get it, yeah, no, I.
I had the worst headache for two days.
Your head in that vice, you trying to get up out of there,
bro, you trying to get out of there. You can't believe it.
I will say, having watched it happen a couple of times, I can't believe it either.
You know what is going to be really funny is you're going to do this cave thing and
when it's over, they're going to be like, now you have to crawl out of this tiny little
tunnel and you're like, you got me again.
You got me again.
Now I'm going to have a cone head.
Come out of there, your hair be all cone head out.
Like when?
I mean, as always, Tiffany, you're the best.
It is always so entertaining,
plus a giant education for both of us today.
That makes me insane.
Now just Google, if you didn't believe anything
that I said, Google it, you will find
what I said to be true.
I can't wait.
But before you go, Josh is gonna ask you some questions
and we ask all of our guests.
Here we go.
Yes, Josh, when you get divorced, I will marry you.
I told you that before you got married.
I said, stop playing games.
Here it is, I'm gonna be rich one day.
You need to get with me now.
This is the last free phone I'm ever gonna need.
Right.
So get with me now, Josh,
cause I'm gonna blow up.
And you didn't take me up on my offer.
And I told you, you don't know me now,
but you gonna know.
Yeah, but I was gonna need to go on a,
I was gonna need to go on a cruise
and I wasn't gonna be able to handle it.
You don't wanna be on a cruise with Josh either.
I wouldn't have took you on the cruise.
By that point, I was no more doing cruises with men
that I'm sleeping with.
All right, yeah, all right.
Here we go.
You can only pick one of these.
Is your ideal vacation relaxing, adventurous,
or educational?
Relaxing and educational.
Yeah.
And adventurous.
Great.
Okay, just adventure and relax,
because I sleep the first day I get somewhere and then I start doing stuff.
Okay, relaxing into adventure.
What is your favorite means of transportation?
Train, plane, automobile, boat, bike, walking?
Teleporting.
I teleport.
Great.
Teleporting.
Great.
It's so handy.
It's so efficient.
Yeah.
I got to see, Josh, if you would have got with me, you would have been able to teleport to it, handy. That's so efficient. Yeah. I got it. See, Josh, if you would have got with me,
you would have been able to tell the point.
You would have been beamed up, beamed down, beamed sideways.
Nope, you can't do it with me, so.
You chose that other girl instead of me.
No, plain, plain, plain, plain.
Plain, all right.
If you could take a vacation with any family,
alive or dead, real or fictional,
other than your own family,
what family would you like to take a family vacation with?
The Hilton's.
Okay.
All right.
Yeah.
Not gonna stay in a nice place.
Yeah.
If you had to be stranded on a desert island
with one member of your family, who would it be?
Tiffany's making a face like there's no real good answer here.
Everybody get on my nerves like I get on their nerves.
I would pick my little brother Justin because he'll let me boss him around.
Okay.
All right.
Great.
I think you deserve that. And he'll be strong so he can help me build boats
and stuff like that and we get off the island.
What is your hometown?
What do you consider your hometown to be?
South Central Los Angeles.
Would you recommend South Central
as a vacation destination?
Yes, actually. Yes, yes, yes.
We have some cute little hotels over here,
but I wouldn't even get a hotel.
I would get an Airbnb in one of these little classic homes. Yes, yes, yes. We have some cute little hotels over here, but I wouldn't even get a hotel.
I would get an Airbnb in one of these little classic homes. And then there's so much to
do around here. You can go do a tour of USC. There's museums galore. There's big body,
super dope parks. There's the new Cineplex that's coming. Oh, and it, yeah, I would say
South Central LA.
Also it's right in the middle
and you can get to everything else.
If you want to go to Long Beach or Hollywood
or El Monte or Acadia or to the beach or whatever,
you can get everywhere within 20 to 30 minutes
from South Central.
And Seth, as our final questions.
Well, I mean, we kind of got to it already,
but the question was,
have you ever been to the Grand Canyon?
Which I still don't quite know.
I guess the answer is no.
Well, technically, I didn't go on the Grand Canyon tour,
but I have been through the Grand Canyon.
Because how do you go through?
A helicopter swoop through?
No, not a helicopter swoop through,
but you know, when you're driving,
you gotta go past the, you gotta go through
it.
Okay, gotcha.
So you drove-
Because I've gone through it like probably three or four times.
But you haven't like stood at the edge of the Grand Canyon and looked into-
No, but I saw it.
I saw it.
Okay.
Okay.
Uh-huh.
I'm just, like I said, I'm getting into politics though.
I'm about to become city council in Arizona.
I'm gonna make sure that is my district. Arizona. I'm gonna make sure that is my district.
Okay, I'm gonna make sure that part.
There's gonna be bumper stickers.
Tiffany Haddish, I will show you the bones.
I will show you the bones.
I will show you the bones.
Finally, a politician who will show you the bones.
I'm gonna show you guys.
She's got my vote.
Somewhere between, and then, you know, isn't the Grand Canyon also into Nevada too?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, so if I don't win Arizona, then I'll run in Nevada. I know I'll win there.
Yeah.
Because all of South Central LA is now in Nevada.
Well, we love you, Tiffany. It was so great to see you. I love you guys too. I love both of you. Great talking to you all too. Invite me on the next family vacation. Hook me up with your cousin.
You bet.
You bet.
I know you got a cousin that's single.
We got it.
Thank you, Tiffany.
So much fun.
Thank you.
Bye.
Love you guys.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye. Bye. Bye. Love you guys. For a full moon You'll see a lunar rainbow
Crank hanging hexagons
She wants to see those giants
It's certainly high on her list
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, dude
A pyramid's worth power plants A Canyon had some giants, giants
Giants
Giants
Builds houses in the Congo Sleeps in caves in Oregon
But wants to run for office To find out just what's going on
In that canyon full of giants Grand Canyon filled with giants! And also there's a spaceship!