Fat Chance Podcast - Are You a Christmas Savant? Ep. 186

Episode Date: December 11, 2025

Again, if someone comments on this video I will send them a surprise. These captions dont seem worth it.Should I just make this a clothing lifestyle brand like I really want to?Send me money please.

Oh, hi, and welcome to Fat Chance, the podcast, Season 8, Episode 4. Do we do seasons? Are we seasoned people? I used to do seasons before this was Fat Chance. So before you, it was just a happy accident. I did every 16 episodes was a season. What season do you think we're on right now? Oh, man. tending if we include tending a list but let's not

sure definitely in 10 season 10 or season 12 wow we're crazy that's crazy you think yeah 12 seasons I have done over 100 I have done over 200 I've done about 200 podcast episodes in my lifetime and I have nothing to show for it do you like what would you want to show for it of that actually i do think i have plenty to show for it um we got some we can do some close i mean

selina gomez used your sound what more do you you know used your voice that's got to be you know up there and the cool things and she has a wonderful voice and she wanted mine yeah which is by far way worse than hers no we've almost booked almost booked comedy clubs and almost and we have booked theaters just didn't sell any tickets we yeah we booked uh things we we shouldn't have and things and uh not booked things we should have uh we've we've gotten sponsored and fired um a few times yeah yeah this is our this is our spotified rap for 2025 we've we've had we've had people just leave the podcast yep i've had people leave the podcast we've gone version that would have been a fun little post like

wrapped what would we have what was 2025 to show uh cusky almost dies twice podcast takes a hiatus for like six weeks kusky's car gets broken into and then still not fixed no it's fixed do you have a new car no i don't have a new car but i got it i got it i got it i look every day i look every day i'm ready to pull the trigger i just i need the right thing okay uh When I say it's fixed, or when you say it's fixed, would the producer also say it's fixed? Yes, 100%. Okay. Okay.

Yeah. So, did I give the breakdown on what the mechanics said about my car already? No? No, I don't think so. Dude, this is great. Like, I, so, okay, when I say fixed, too, it's like 95% fixed. There's one part, but it's very safe to drive. It is very, it's so safe.

to drive it is been the safe it's the safest it's ever been to drive right now um that doesn't make it better that you drove it to denver still only has three wheels um hi buddy look at that hello they're getting big aren't they they are getting big i know he's like a teenager the other one and then i'll get back to the car so this is rory um the other one we found a little spot on them turns out This guy, before we got him, we knew had, you are not going to the plan. I'll tell you that. He had ringworm, and he was cleared. Yeah.

However, there might have been some dormant spores just from like a scab. Yeah. And it got into our other cat who now has ringworm. So we have to. The gift that keeps giving. Yeah, we have to deeply sanitize our place. We can't give a medication for another week. and just constantly wash our hands.

Yeah. And then if worst case scenario, I've got to get a little ointment. Rinkmoren's pretty common. It's just the bacteria. Yeah. But they're good. So, back to my car.

I mean, it's just, it is the gift that keeps on giving. I mean, you can tell them a cat person because this thing has nine lives. And he, I'm going to call it a he. I took him in for a routine, oil change i found a nice deal uh oil change full synthetic tire rotation 60 bucks i was like sign me up i go i get the oil change i sit down i'm doing some work the mechanic opens the door about 10

minutes there goes come here i want to show you something i was like that's never happened before at an oil change he goes uh you see this i go yeah he goes your wheels should not move side to side right now i go yeah i know i need new struts he goes and a control arm and a bunch he goes how's the other wheel side to side he goes have you noticed it shaking i go i'm like yeah when i break it sometimes vibrates a little uh and he then looks at me and goes you shouldn't drive this home i go what do you mean goes you should get it towed out of the parking lot this is so unsafe to drive and i was like well that's not going to happen i was like well that's not going to happen i was like I just lied to him.

I live around the corner. He goes, go about 10 miles an hour, turn your hazards on, and avoid every bump. Right home. Wait, so you didn't fix it? No. So what happened? It was just an oil change place or what? It was just an oil change.

I mean, no, it was a mining key. And they're like, we'll fix it, but it's going to cost you three grand. And so I called my mom. I was like, you're on the same page here. Like, I'm just getting rid of this car. Like, I'm not putting three grand. into this thing to have it fixed. Yeah.

Like I did the Kelly Blue Book on this car. Guess how much it's worth? Negative $24. Like you would have to pay someone to take it from you. I laughed out loud. I looked. It said $650. That's more than I would get it.

$650? $650. But they don't know it has like the brand new engine in it, which alone is like $2,000. So I was like, okay, I'm not. putting in more it's technically total um so i just i took it to my work and asked one of the guys if i was like hey can you fix it and we get discounts on parts he's like yeah would you be willing to do all this total for like eleven twelve hundred dollars and it'll last you for a while i was

like yeah that's fine so i put that in car works just fine now safe doesn't shake doesn't rattle doesn't roll um but still can't get up the mountain so i'm looking for a truck man you yeah you need a new car um yes i do that's that happened that happened 2025 what else happened in 2025 uh we uh you moved to denver how how yeah and and in the pod that's been crazy we uh both got Comfort sweatpants. We've Bozbetter's stuck with us. Is Boosbetter with us?

Is Boosbetter with us? We don't know if they ever left. There are, you know. I still have some of their product. I think it's just one of those companies. You know, you know who's been with us through thick and thin? Because I refuse to edit

the YouTube description. The choosy. Shout out the choosy. Yeah, choose. What are you up to, man? Oh, the choosy, man. I think he's doing. good i think he's doing real good we're doing like a year recap and we still have a few weeks of

episodes to get through yeah but knowing us we'll skip a few of those yeah we might skip one episode uh we were in the basement of uh natty oaks for a bit oh god we were in natty oaks remember that that was fun yeah i liked that i always thought like if i could have left the equipment that was always my problem with doing different locations is the bringing the equipment the setup the takedown but if i could have left it at nattie oaks i loved it there oh it was such a vibe yeah we got a free beer each time and that's why we do it no one came down bothered us and it loved it yeah nothing will beat nothing will beat jack's basement but no uh yeah we've had we had some guests in there. We had Carmen. We've had Diego. We've had Owen. That was, that was 24.

Never mind. This is a wrap of a, yeah, that was 24. Then, man, what? 25. We've only had, we've had, wasn't Diego in 25? Maybe, maybe Diego was 25. Owen was a Christmas episode in 24 But we've had Garrett here We have the skiing is easy guys on Oh yeah, skiing is easy guys Season three out now Go get some of their stuff

I put some of their stuff on my Christmas list It's great Go ahead That's going to be fun Yeah and you get to do some skiing Which is going to be fun once you get up the mountain I can't wait It's going to take me two, three days

To push that car off the mountain but I might try and go this Friday. Would the producer's car make it up there? Yeah, well, I just have to convince the producer that I need to take a company trip. Fair, fair. Which shouldn't be a problem. Does the producer ski?

The producer does ski. He, she, it, or they is kind of learning. their first time skiing was in BAMF last year, all the way up in good old Canada, A. So we got them, boot. We know, okay, I can't do this. You were getting confused by your own story. Yeah, no, we got the producer, new ski boots, a new jacket.

Hell yeah. So we're not some snow pants, probably get helmet and goggles. and I think the producer's first time skiing is going to be after Christmas. If all goes well, mine will be Friday, if not after Christmas. Hell yeah. Yeah, and I can't do any skiing because of my face. Or snowboarding because of my face. I always forget your face isn't real.

I know, and it kind of like takes out a lot of fun things that are also a little bit dangerous, you know? So, there's things I shouldn't be doing in my own life. Like playing baseball consistently? Yeah, of course. But if I take out the other things that could hurt me, then I'm like, all right, well, at least I can have this one. But. I mean, I would have no problem with you playing baseball if you just put one of those cages over your face,

but I know you don't think that looks cool. Well, I don't think it looks cool. I think it's more of it would get in the way. I don't like that. Yeah, but people, like, they get wear the football stuff all the time. Yeah. The masks. but who knows

But we do have some games for tonight I feel like we haven't played a game in a while I know And since it is the Christmas season We're going to do some Christmas trivia Someone's trying to call me Should we answer it? It's a scam call probably Yeah absolutely

No we'll answer to the scam call I was going to say put me up to it I'll answer for you but we're going to do a Christmas episode of the trivia and then each trivia question I have an extra question about your Christmas traditions okay I like this I like this

all right talking about me uh yeah which three reindeer start with the letter D D D as in dog Dasher, Donner And if he's from Wisconsin Don't you know

Dasher Donner Is it Dixon? No, it's Fixin What is the third one? Sing the song I can't I'm blanking

You're blanking on the song? Donner. So you have Dasher? You have Donner. Yeah, what's the other one? Dancer. Dancer. Oh, my God.

You know what? I actually sang that, too, and I just thanked that it was a D. I was like, what are you doing? And in the Rudolph, the Red North was reindeer, the song, it actually changes Donner. Oh, changes Donner. Donner was originally donder.

Donder. Which is fun fact. I don't hate that. I don't hate that. But what was your favorite Christmas song growing up? Rocking on the Christmas tree. Okay. It's that, it's the energetic one.

Rocking around. Yeah, it's always the hectic scene in every Christmas movie where they're rushing for toys. We've gone over this for sure. And it's just, you're happy. You're like, you know what the excitement's here. Here, people are ready. They won't stop calling.

Hang on. Yeah. That's totally fine. I'll do a little monologue. Is it the police department? It was a automated sound right away. Oh. The Venmo Fraud Department.

Venmo Fraud Department. Interesting. Yeah. You know how they call you all the time? I didn't know. They even had a department. Stop calling me For the love of God

All right Next one is going to be In what U.S. state is a town name Santa Claus Washington Oh Indiana is the correct answer Indiana

Santa Claus Santa Claus Indiana Now how do they spell C-L-C-L-C-L-A-U-S. Oh, so a true Santa Claus. Yeah. What is your favorite place to visit during the holiday time, or a place you want to visit for Christmas? There's a town in, I think this is where I got Washington from, that Rachel and I used to do, sorry, the producer, fuck that up, not going to cut it out.

Um, we used to do, when we were distance, we'd always do December, like, Christmas trip. And we haven't the last two years because we're moving and now going home. But I think there's a town in Washington that, like, goes all out for Christmas. Um, I'm blank. I think it might be Leavenworth. Um, so I, that is somewhere I would like to go. I'd like to go to Switzerland. That would be awesome.

Like a real nice, snowy European country, I think would be a lot of fun. I think there's, I think there's, I think. I think in like every state there's a certain town that goes crazy for Christmas. Yeah, I just think sometimes geographically it looks better than others. Like if you could be like a nice snowy, like mountain range and stuff like that and you have like that cute charm town, I think that looks way better than West Dallas, Wisconsin. So that's just me. Take away from the dirty style?

You kidding me? I was just at Tompkins. some winks on last Thursday All right what is Santa's mailing address The North Pole

Yeah but Do you have an actual address It's just There's only one poll So when you Would you send gifts Letters to Santa You just put a North Pole on it?

Is it? Are you getting spam call? Yeah I'm getting spam call No, I'm planning a bachelor party right now And it's a Oh The group chat decided to blow up right now Yeah

Um Is it Ooh Is it Ooh Is it, ooh Is it Is it 1225

North Pole lane? Dude, you are so close It is a One, two, three, Elf Road North Pole 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8. 8.

8.8. Okay. I don't like that. I feel like you could have done 12, 25, and that's much better than 1, 2, 3. Yeah. But yeah. Here, let me flip my camera real quick, too. The thing is, I mean, that sounds better, but I guess you can't, you can't just change someone to street it, Jess. If that's where Santa lives, that's where Santa lives. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I mean, there are kids watching, so you should definitely keep saying that. There are kids watching. also you know who's not watching simon from the book company i've heard nothing back i know it's almost like he was a scam

really yeah i'm almost almost convinced of it um when is national ugly sweater day national ugly sweater day i don't it it's not during christmas season is it It is in December. It is in December. I'm going to go 12.13. Incorrect. It is every third Friday in December.

So it's almost like Easter. Like you can move around? That's tough. You can't. So what would it be this year? Every third Friday. So that would be this next Friday. Next Friday, the 20th.

And if I'm not. back next friday is the next friday is our our friend uh josh smith is having a ugly sweater party so there you go wait next friday next friday josh seven can i come yeah come on over i'll be home wait wait wait wait wait what i'm home next friday wait wait you come home on friday yeah yeah come on over fuck yeah tell josh i'm coming okay um yeah just one house um Are you, oh, well, then that answers my next question. Are you going into any ugly sweater parties or bar crawls? Yeah, next round.

I know, I know, there goes my question. Then I'll say the question I didn't say for the, for the Santa one. Did you write letters to Santa when you're young? When I was young, I think I did. I think we did write letters to Santa. I think, I don't think we did. It wasn't like a tradition for us, though. I think we did it a few times.

Our big thing is kids were We were given Like the Target Toys R Us catalogs And then we would get Color-Coded stickers So I'd be red Andrew would be blue

See you would be green And then you would just put a sticker Next to what you wanted And that was our way of making a list And then my mom would collect them And just be like All right this is kind of what the boys want Because we couldn't spell

You know how hard it would be If I started writing like Transformer when I was four. Did you ever unstick any of your brothers stickers off of a toy and then put yours on it? No, because you could double up.

Like, we could both want a Transformer and trying to take a sticker off a magazine page, real tough. I've accidentally put one, I was like, ah, Santa's not going to know that I wanted this video game and not this one.

It just seems too close. He's going to be in between. What if I get the wrong one? Yeah, I get that. Um, what is frosty the snowman's pipe made of? Isn't it just a pipe? No. No?

Um, as carrot is his nose. Buttons. He's got top hat, scarf. His pipe is made of, um... Do do do do. I don't know. A little boy's shoe? Uh, a corn cob pipe.

Oh, corn cob. That's a much better answer. And I don't believe he has a carrot for a nose. Oh, he definitely has. At least that's what I did in the snowmen's in my front yard. Yeah. When's the last time you made a snowman? Last time I had a front yard.

I think I was... I actually don't know the last time. It's been a while. I would... If I got a bunch of snow on the balcony, I'd make a mini snowman. But it's also... Almost 60 degrees here right now. Dude, I'm going to blow your mind right now.

All right, ready for this? Yeah. Frosty's snowman has a corn cob pipe. Yeah. With a button nose. Ooh. And then two eyes made of coal. Two eyes made of coal.

Why did we put carrots in snowmen then? Maybe it's like a Mandela effect. Yeah. Also... I feel like that's just Frosty. That's his race of snowmen. I'm more of a carrot guy. Also, look at me, looking up stuff, Diego.

Suck it. Fact checking, baby. Fact checking. I can't because I'm talking into my phone. In Charles Dickens' classic book, A Christmas Carol, what is Scrooge's first name? Ebenezer. That is correct.

Can I take a quick side note here out of just concern for the strength of my two kittens? Um, in these, uh, wooden beams in my apartment are staples that go into wood. And the eldest of my two cats just brought me one of the staples he ripped out. Ripped them out. How the fuck did you? Is that ringworm giving you superpowers, dude? Yeah. Maybe it's, yeah.

That's wild strength. Holy shit. Okay. Continue. Sorry. Ebenezer. Yeah. Ebenezer is correct.

Uh, do you, uh, Christmas books. Have you read any Christmas books? Or do you know how to read? I feel like that question should be directed towards you. Yeah, it was the second part. I do know how to read decently well. I'm slower but proficient. And then Christmas books.

I don't really think I read many Christmas books. I don't think I've read. Yeah. You're a well-read man, but it's very scarce. Yeah. All right. I mean, my selections are. premiere but yeah i always think like one day i'm like i'm gonna get so under reading one day and

it's gonna like be amazing and then i'm like all these books don't excite me like none of these books well my thing is i love going into a barns and nobles love going into i mean this smells kind of nice you're like wow there's a lot of stories and just like the idea of a book is wonderful and then you open it and you're like I gotta read this no thank you

but the idea of a book is phenomenal love it yes that's very good I like that buying six books

great actually opening them that's not me write that down put that into a bit that's so funny idea of a book is so cool

all right during the Christmas season what toy gets sold every 28 seconds? Oh, every 28 seconds. This has to be an older toy, correct? Yeah, it's still around, obviously. So it's still around. Oh, yeah.

So it's definitely what toy, a Rubik's Cube? That is oddly so close. Do you want to take another stab at it? If I tell you that's oddly close. that's oddly close so it's in like the the game category no more in like the

makeup of it plato who uh legos legos okay I feel like if you put the two together you still out there

yeah you're close but you're around it but yeah Legos every 28 seconds and those things are like they sell like hot cakes you know they're so expensive so like the stuff now is crazy yeah you can't even play with it you're you're buying artwork you have to make i've uh and i love legos i love legos but it's like buying you see a box that's this like a a 12 by 12 box and they're like 75 dollars it's going to take me 30 minutes to put together

34 there's like 100 bucks and it's going to sit in the corner or it's going to get broken and put away because the lady doesn't want to see the millennium falcon which is definitely more than a hundred dollars on the living room counter yeah that's always funny because like uh i've been i don't know how i got into this like ticot of like this guy he makes it's like a life size lego cat and it looks just like the box and he's like looking at the box he goes i think i'm missing something and it turns the camera and you see the body of a cat and a pants up and just the head is the millennium falcon But you know that took him so long to make, you know?

Oh, yeah. I just watched a video of a guy who made the Millennium Falcon out of Legos, but out of spare parts. So he found the booklet online and then had enough Legos and enough parts to build it on his own. I'm like, that must have taken you days. Some guys have just a special net for things. They call that autism. So the question would be, favorite toys that you've,

ever gotten as a kid. Like favorite, I'm going to go a favorite Christmas present, like, memory. The best Christmas in terms of, like, childhood like Christmas presents I've gotten, I don't know, I don't remember the exact reason of how we got it, but we had found one of our presents in our fireplace, and we opened it up, and it was Mario Kart Double Dash on GameCube, but we didn't have a GameCube. And so me and my brothers are looking at because it was dressed all three of us. And it like, we were young.

You're like, why you had this? And it clicked. And we sprint downstairs. This GameCube is fully set up. There's three controllers, one for each of us. Underneath it had this adapter where you could plug in Game Boy Advance Games. And you could play your Game Boy games with a GameCube controller on a giant TV. and I was like, this is sick.

Yeah, you peaked right there. Yeah, that was a great present and a great way to, like, unveil it. Oh, yeah, I bet your parents were like, hell yeah, we got them for this one. Oh, we nailed that, nailed that. Yeah. In Home Alone, where are the McAllister's going on vacation when they leave Kevin behind? France. That is correct.

Paris, rank your top five Christmas foods. I probably can, we've probably talked about this, but top five Christmas. We've done this. we'll go quick Santa Claus 1, Santa Claus 2 After 1, it's in no particular order But Santa Claus 1, Santa Claus 2 Jingle all the way

Home Alone And Honestly, whatever animated one is on Right around Christmas Whether it's like Rudolph Red Nose Rain Yeah, the original A movie didn't say

In a Christmas story, what gift does Ralphie desperately want never seen it wait you never seen a Christmas story you never turned on TBS around Christmas because it's on 24-7 no I'm just I'm not a fan that was the that's the one that was on

constantly in my aunt and uncles I vividly remember that obviously because we literally would have it on for 24 it would just be over and over and over that's where the leg is the leg lamp is from, that's where you see a bunch of... Yeah, see, I know the pop

culture references now, but I don't I really don't think I've seen it or couldn't tell you what happens in it. Yeah, well, another pop culture one was he wanted a red rider BB gun, but you'll shoot your eye out and he eventually shoots something and it bounces off

and hits him in the eye. Well, it breaks his classes, but yeah. And the question is, have you ever got injured from a toy you got on Christmas or ever got in Christmas injury? Have I ever been injured on Christmas? I've been hospitalized twice on Christmas. I had my appendectomy

and I had an allergic reaction where I broke out and hives all over my body. So as much as I love Christmas, it fucking hates me. Yeah. Yeah, I got probably a bloody nose one time from sweating, I think, on Christmas.

I mean, that was my only one. What is the best-selling? Christmas song of all time. Is it Mariah Carey? I think we've already did this one, and that is incorrect. A little bit older. A little bit older. Is it Elvis Presley?

No, it's also a movie. I don't know. What is it? I'm dreaming of a White Christmas. Yeah. I can see that. Bing Crosby. Bing Crosby.

Yeah. Bing Crosby. Producer has finally made it back to the studio. And when I say work starts at 5.30, work starts at 5.30. But apparently it doesn't apply to the producer. Yeah, yeah. She had her interns that were pulling out staples running around. Apparently, she was saving lives.

Yeah. What about our lives? We need to be saved, too. What if you went down? I'm getting some attitude, so I need to stop. Oh, yeah, yeah. As soon as someone walks in the door, you go, oh. He's shocked.

Shocked. That wouldn't be taken over well after they just slave 12 hours at their job. All right, we can end it there. Everybody have a Merry Christmas. Have a happy holidays from Fat Chance to you and yours. drink yeah if we decide to not do on the next two weeks Merry Christmas we will but

Merry Christmas either way Did you watch Grindr? It's called Grindr and that makes me tell you that you didn't watch it Yeah because I looked up The movie Grindrinder and a synopsis And I was like I don't think this is it We're gonna get Cusky on a gay dating website by trying to look up this movie.

See you soon, Diego. Yeah, Trash Pip's wet dream. All right, see ya. Three, two, one.