Fat Chance Podcast - Call Me Steve Harvey Ep. 116

Episode Date: April 25, 2024

Jack does questionable things when home alone. Michael's mom is in the Hot Seat Judd thinks he's actually Steve Harvey SPONSORED BY: @DrinkWisconsinbly & Drink Wisconsinbly Beverage Co. DW produces high-quality beverages at an approachable price, perfect for toasting all the people, places, and things that make our home state unlike any other place in the world. Find them near you https://www.wisconsibly.com/beverages/ Booze Better Supplements: Use the link below to start drinking better and recovering faster! https://www.supplementsolutions.us/?ref=67FwapSjNHdTKo PATREON!!!! patreon.com/fatchancestudios CHECK OUT THE NEW FAT CHANCE SHORTS CHANNEL!!! @FatChanceShorts https://youtube.com/@FatChanceShorts?si=wCjiBc0ddHEYk_bs Get your Chewzie TODAY! @TheChewzie https://www.thechewzie.com Check Out The Crew: Michael Cuske - @michaelcuske on everything Judd Reminger - @juddremingerscomedy7298 @juddreminger on all other socials Jack Cerasoli - @jackthedragon1 or @jack_c_comedy Diego Avila - @trashpimp (photography)

um aj texted me goes hey um just introduced myself to your girlfriend's mom told them told her that i knew you very well she did not seem enthused yeah that's a tailgate beer if i've ever had one. That is a parking lot beer. That is literally you smash it over your head. You pour it on you and you go, man, do you see how fast I drank that? See how much I drank? Not a lot. That's if Bud Light, not Bud Light, if PBR Miller Light had a baby.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, this is just a beer. That's all you can describe it as, a beer. A beer. That's a beer. People are like, pass me a beer. It's certainly you can describe it as. It's a beer. It's a beer. That's a beer. You know, people are like, pass me a beer. It's certainly not a damn good brand new old fashioned. We're all out of them because we've been drinking them so damn fast.

They're so quick to make. Are we out? We're out. Time to put in a new order. We smashed them. We smashed them. All these glasses are dirty. Yeah, yeah.

Fuck it. Alcohol's sterile. Is it? Yeah. All? That's what you put in your it. Alcohol's sterile. Is it? Yeah. That's what you put in your wounds, alcohol. Stop pouring it like a dickhead. I also pour mine like a dickhead. I knew you'd grab it, so I just wanted to get the right amount of foam on there.

It looks like Bud Light. It's because it is Bud Light. It's Bud Light, but Steve Austin's sweating it. The Rattlesnake. Were you guys wrestling fans when you were a kid? I'm wrestling fans now. What did we talk about last week? Yes, Jack, I was still a kid.

No, I was not a wrestling fan. I think someone early on told me, like, it's fake. And I was like, I had to be cool. Like, yeah, it's fucking fake. Just like how everyone hates Nickelback. Everyone hated Nickelback for a while. Nickelback's great. I would see a Nickelback concert this weekend.

I think there's some songs that I'm like, oh, yeah, that's good. There's a lot of songs that are pretty good. I guarantee you, you went to a Nickelback concert, you would sing along to a majority of the songs. Yeah. I mean, who's got the joke about Guy Fieri being the Nickelback of music? The Nickelback of grilling? Yeah. I mean, they're not wrong. I think Shane Torres has that joke.

I thought it was someone in our scene. No, that's too clever. That's too clever. After last week. After last week. I am hurting, man. I thought it was someone in our scene. No, that's too clever. That's too clever. After last week. After last week. I am hurting, man. Dude, I took a good long look in the mirror that night,

and I was like, you don't got what it takes, buddy. You know what's so funny? It was the same night as the show that I told you about. Dude. Wait, what happened? Yours is way better than mine. Mine, I just went and did shitty comedy and wanted to drive into a meeting on the way home

I guess we can I mean you have to bleep it out because I probably don't want to put the producer on blast but I was headlining the last and show

show was the producer texted me before the week he's like show's at 8 get there at like 7 37, 45 and I was like perfect

yeah i can do that and around 6 45 he texts me he goes oh shit i gave you the wrong time show starts at 7 so i'm in wisconsin i'm driving down and i'm like shit i'll say well i'm not gonna make it there till 7 30 7 45 is what he told me he goes it's okay your headline it's fine you're doing 15 at the end doesn't matter anyways you anyways. You just might show and go, you know? And I was like, all right. So I find parking and I text the producer. I was like, hey, if I'm parking, I'll be there in five minutes, a five-minute walk. He's like, all right, cool.

By the way, I'm sorry in advance. I was like, okay. I don't know what that means. No one's there. I get to, I get to, I get to. Just wait. I get to. And they're like, the staff is just like, and there's no one behind the bar.

No one's doing anything. And I'm like, what the heck? And the producer comes up to me and goes, there's a power outage. So that happened earlier today, and it rebooted the systems, and no one can get on. None of the servers can clock in. No one can buy anything from the bar. No can open anything they can't ticket anybody so 100 people bought tickets and there's only 20 people left in the there and they're all sober and they do not have any thing to drink or eat that sounds like a fun time it so then i get in there and it's just

comedians doing crowd work to an audience that is just dead tired. With no microphone. So it was back on, but no one could get in any of the system. Oh, the internet was still down. So the system was down, anything that, so they couldn't play music, they couldn't do that. They just had a microphone and the system worked, that's it. So it was, now I'll get over here to a comedian and just silence and then the comedian comes up was this the habanero yes how'd that go easy by that time so he interviewed everybody and by the

time i got there there was probably like we need to get the hell off the stage and get the heck out of there um other producers left. The other comedians just went. So there's just me left in the green room before I go up. And then by the time I got up there, we talked a little bit. I had to have an arrow. Talked a little bit about

where they could see me next, and that was it. They didn't do any funny questions. They just talked about my stuff, and we got the heck out of there. Do you think he mentioned the podcast? Probably not, no. I wouldn't have ever you. No. But what you think he mentioned the podcast? Probably not. No. I wouldn't have ever you.

No. But what you should have mentioned is the Drink Wisconsin. Brand new old fashioned can. It's a damn good brand new old fashioned. You can make it in five seconds or less. We would be showing you that, but we drank all of them. We drank all of them, yeah. Because they're so quick to make and so quick to drink.

This is an empty one. What percentage is that? You can imagine if it was full, right? Yeah. Because we would drink it again. Wait, just show them how fast it is to drink it. To make it. What percentage?

Was it completely empty? What percentage? I got some backsplash there. 7% alcohol by volume. And you can make it in four seconds. That's crazy. Damn. That's crazy.

I guess it's a mixed cocktail. What does by volume mean? No one knows. I don't know either. 7% of the volume of that can is alcohol. I don't think that could be right. Is this one of those belly button things? I don't think we can fact check that.

I feel like that is the most logical answer to that question. It is, but the math, it's just so ridiculous. I mean, he did go to a research center. Oh, yeah. But for wildlife what kind of wildlife did you learn about at that research center actually you want to know speaking of wildlife i got a text from aj today yeah um aj texted me goes hey um just introduced myself to your girlfriend's mom told them told her that i knew you very well she did not seem enthused how did she meet your girlfriend's mom i go um yeah i think she likes me uh jury's still

out and i told rachel that she's like she likes you don't worry that's what you have to say to your boyfriend if they don't yeah Yeah, they fucking hate you. But I go, what'd she say? And in quotes, he goes, oh, so you know my daughter's boyfriend. How? And he goes, I said we're mutual friends and I made the mistake of saying comedy. Should have just said, you know, friend of friends or whatever. And I go, listen, it's a family of intellectuals,

and her youngest daughter is dating a clown. All right, it checks out. A clown who records him being funny in his basement, in his friend's basement. No wonder she's not enthused. Oh, my God, you know him? With a fake research center hat on, dude. You didn't do any research.

By the way, hey, Rach, right now, happy two-year anniversary. Woo! Yeah, Rach-o! Dude, that'd be a really good anniversary present if you just doused yourself, wet t-shirt contest, and some brewskis. Ooh, it's on our video. That'd be hot. That'll show you my socks, baby.

Well, that's not when you show someone their anniversary because it basically says go get me a beer well which will give you those socks two hundred dollars if you get me a beer if you get them a beer oh i have some ideas for some uh fun things we can do for promo videos okay what are those are those ideas? Well, I can't say them on the podcast because then people will steal. My Noah, we're eight minutes in. No one's listening anymore. We got the reading. Cut this one. Cut this one with the ding-a-ding-a-ding.

I'm down to do all these ideas. We just need to schedule a day between now and after your wedding. Anytime after my wedding, we're definitely going to be clear we probably can't do um interview at a bar until after the wedding i'm just being honest any not until after the wedding we can do interview at the bar with just us two yeah you can do that we might have to because there's one guy that's like time sensitive right now this is great for whatever um that's why i say ding, ding, ding. Welcome.

We're back, baby. We're lifting the curtain back. Yeah, we definitely can because then I'll start scheduling stuff with you. I like how you said you didn't want to. You wanted us to cut it. I'll explain that after. You said you wanted us to cut it because people would steal our ideas

and you just stole someone's idea. Yeah, that's what I was saying. That's why I didn't want to cut it. So I have that glue down here because when you left after was it last podcast or two podcasts ago um we don't know the rest of the story so i don't remember but remember we were down here we were down here for the podcast you were down when he left you and i were down here oh yeah talking shit and smashing beers no lady, lady ate Jen's hairbrush. And so me, after smashing some beers with Husky, was like, I need to fix this so that it's like nothing ever happened.

And it was a wooden hairbrush. So the entire time we were talking, I super glued a wooden hairbrush together and she didn't even know the difference. It took me way too long to figure out you were gluing the hairbrush back together that I was like, what are you doing with the glue that she ate? Does she still not know that the hairbrush is glued together? She does know now because I told her, I was like, sorry about the hairbrush. She's like, wait, what? I was like, oh, the dog ate it.

Like it was splinters of wood everywhere. Wow. That's good for you. I remember you doing that, yeah. It looked good. Gorilla super glue. Good for when things come out of your ass. What?

Wait, no, it didn't come out of her ass. She just chewed it. She just chewed it. Yeah, that's why I missed. Yeah, sorry. You need to study some more wildlife. I need more wildlife. How do you use a hairbrush?

You've seen how I squat. No one else knows how to do it. Because we were doing comedy gold before. You've got to stop doing callbacks For times when we're not on camera You can't do callbacks When there's no evidence What do you think we're going to do for next week

It's like you do last week's callbacks Instantly It's like a long It's a good bit No one gets it You know what they say about good bits It's better when no one gets it It's better when

The punchline is from four weeks ago It's better when nobody Knows what the punchline is from Because it was off camera Sounds like my stand up I wish Jack at the end of your set would be like, that was all off-camera. You can't prove anything.

You should have been here at the first show. This is related to that. Last audience is way better. I saw Tom Segura this weekend. You did? Yeah, at PNC. No, I saw him perform. Trevor Wallace opened for him, which was really cool.

And I don't know the guy in the middle, but so fucking funny. There's a reason he is my absolute favorite. I was in tears for a good 30 minutes. I walked out with a headache. When you see someone do it at that level and you leave, you're like, oh, that's why. It's not like a fake thing. It's not like they got famous off a viral video. No.

They're there for a reason. Oh, absolutely. Especially his level. Yes. And the biggest thing I took out of it is I'm like, I think we're all still trying to learn, I would hope. Well, I think I got it figured out. It wasn't so much what he said or how he said it. It was that he genuinely seemed like he was having fun up there.

Because there are a lot of people you see up there. They write very well, and they'll fake chuckle. Like, genuinely seem like it was having fun. Have you ever seen a comic that laughs at every one of their jokes? And you're like, dude, stop. That's not genuine. Just stop. But when you actually see someone who genuinely laughs at something they're about to say because it's good, that shit's awesome.

I was talking with a comedian about this, and we were talking about Reagan, Brian Reagan. with the comedian about this and we were talking about reagan brian reagan and how it's like he is too funny for just normal like it's just like and he knows he has the entire audience in the bag at every moment so when he laughs on stage it's even funnier because you're like oh wow he did something he didn't even know he was gonna do it was so fun i mean just the live performance it's and having there it's something different i like watching his stand-up like netflix specials and stuff like that being able to see him live in a crowd like that phenomenal i would still i think rather see him in a smaller venue because we were rachel was amazing. It was my Christmas present, and she's like, we're going on the floor. I'm like, this is sweet.

The issue with the floor is like if certain places you can't see some people, even like someone your height, like because there's – it's not like a whole band or whatever. The stage isn't huge. It's just one person. I'm like, fuck, I can't really see. But it was incredible even like trevor was pretty his last joke i think had the crowd i mean i've never seen a bunch of older

white women laugh at someone in their early 30s it's harder than it's also like great because i saw i mean when i saw shane that was probably like two two thousand people I'm like, once you hear a side of the room laugh, you're going to laugh. It's just when you hear a favorite rolling. And it was unreal to see how he can control it like that. It's wild. Just such a big audience. How many people was in the theater? Do you know?

I think he damn near sold out PNC Arena in North Carolina. So whatever that. I mean, it's got to be like 80K. That's crazy. No, no, because you don't do the whole stadium. Like three-fourths of it, I'd say it's probably anywhere between 10 to 20K. I remember when Shane used to come to the improv, and that was crazy because it was just like 400 people, but it was always packed.

He was just at the improvrov last year, yeah. 20,000. 20,000, yeah. So I would say there's probably 15,000 people there, which is wild. I was telling Rachel. Was he in the round? No. We were walking up, and I was thinking about the show we're on this weekend.

It's going to feel the exact same way. Wrecker Brewing and 2 000 people we're getting we're getting texts from the producer um who's like hey man summer's around the corner tickets are tough need you to promote it and then i'm like right we bought these tickets on like pre-sale six months ago and i'm watching more people walk into the stadium than I think I've ever performed in my entire life. And it was like that. I go, there are levels to this shit. Oh, yeah.

When you see the fandom of people, like, I mean, everyone knows a certain amount of comedian level of fame. Oh, yeah. But imagine, like, a Jeff Dunham. That shit's crazy. Because if you don't like comedy, that's fine. But imagine like a Jeff Dunham. That shit's crazy. Because if you don't like comedy, that's fine. You don't like stand-up, that's okay. You know who Jeff Dunham is.

You know who Jeff Dunham is. Yeah. You know? Yep. And that is wild. You know Jeff Dunham. You know Jeff Foxworthy. But no, what I was going to go with it is, now imagine if you're just starting out and

being a Vintroquist. Dude, it's probably so dark. That's so bad. That's so bad. You're 14 and you gave up on pussy. That's what it is. Did you ever try? To get pussy all the time.

At 14? You don't give up and then go to ventriloquism. No, there's other things. He wasn't good at sports, probably. He probably already knew that. And then no girls wanted to talk to him, and so he had a puppet, probably. But, I mean, do you think girls would sooner or later

put two and two together that he could make a puppet talk? Imagine what he could do to her. I think you would be a great ventriloquist. I got little fingers. Yeah, I could put my hand up your ass. Oh, I thought it was because he was little. I thought it was because he was little. Sorry.

Yes, you could pull me out of a suitcase. Now, can you talk without... No, I'm awful at it. What's the best you could do? Look over there. Hey, guys. How's it going? That's not bad.

That wasn't bad. Oh. See? Woo-hoo! I feel like you have to go high Cause you can't go low You're good I'm a real boy Hello

Hello guys How's it going I'm a great ventriloquist The old man Yeah Here let's practice Alright you guys ready for the fucking I'm Batman

I'm Batman No I'm Robin You are Robin You're Robin You would be the Joker I'm Batman I'm Batman no I'm Robin you are Robin you're Robin you would be the Joker I'm Alfred I can't be the Joker he's Alfred

oh my god he's Alfred we need a Batman you're the Joker you got red hair he's got green hair but like close enough this guy's an idiot

you're not Robin anymore you're Poison Ivy I'll take that alright you guys ready for the game or what yeah I love games You're not Robin anymore. You're Poison Ivy. I'll take that. You guys ready for the game or what? Yeah, I love games. It's time to play the game. This one is Family Feud.

Uh-oh. Yeah, I should be Steve Harvey because we're going to play Family Feud. Now, the way we do it... Wait, what is that funny? I should be Steve Harvey because you're playing Family Feud. I thought like, I should be Steve Harvey because some witty joke was coming. No, it's Feud, baby. It sounded like it was going to be such a good one-liner. Call me your mother because I gave birth to you.

I'm Howie Mandel because we're going to play Deal or No Deal. Go ahead. You got it. That makes sense. This is your stage, man. Anyways, we're going to play the feud. Now, do you want to do it where you could steal or do you want to go back and forth? I like the back and forth.

Let's do back and forth. Back and forth. Okay. But you have to buzz in for the first one, and that's who goes first, okay? Name something that can be thick. Women. That's the number two answer. People.

People. Jack, you can get the number one answer, and you get to start then. Peanut butter. That is also on there But you can That is not The number one answer So Kuski you will start first Damn

Oh fuck What else can be thick I think peanut butter And people are the only two things Do I get like strikes You get Two strikes Two strikes

Have you ever heard of Thicker than a snicker I'm going to say snickers That was a stupid idea That was very dumb And and you got to strike right away. So we have the number two answer and the number one answer. You have the number two answer and number six. There's ten answers.

Actually, eleven. There's eleven answers. That's too many for Family Feud. Oh. They pulled the crowd. I think there's eight usually for Family Feud. I'm going to say, name something that's usually thick. It's not peanut butter.

It's not women. It is... I don't know. A smoothie. You are an idiot. All right, Kuski is out. Jack, you can steal this round. I just need to get one?

You just need to get one, and then you can name as many as you want for bonus. I think for time's sake, just name one. Milkshake. That is correct. Milkshake is on there. But smoothie isn't? Do you want any other ones? If I guess one wrong?

Go ahead, and then it'll be over. Okay. Milk. That. Milk. That is incredible. You know that thick milk? After he just said milkshake. Okay, at least I got a point, because you don't treat me like I'm an idiot. What's the other ones?

What's the number one? Number one is butt or booty. Wait, I thought people. He said women. Number two number one? Number one is butt or booty. Wait, I thought people. He said women. Number two is people. Number three is milkshakes. Number four is hair. Number five is thighs.

Number six is peanut butter. Number seven is sauce. Number eight is a book. Number nine is steak. Number ten is oatmeal. Number eleven is Kuski's mom. I'm just going to leave the camera on Judd's disappointed and embarrassed face right now. And I'm going to email this clip to my mother.

I didn't expect that one. Steve, you dog. Okay, but you saying people, I thought took out body parts completely. Everything, yeah. I people, I thought took out body parts completely. Everything, yeah. I know, I saw. But also, you didn't think taking milkshake would take out milk. Milk is different. Milk, you get a whole milk, that's thick milk.

That's thick milk. Skin milk, that's skinny milk. All right. You're stuck at home. What do you do most? Watch TV. Watch TV is number four. Jack, can you get anything higher?

There's an easy one. Have sex. You're home alone. I thought it was stuck at home alone. You said stuck at home. I said you're stuck at home alone. No, I don't. I didn't hear the alone part.

You're stuck at home alone. What do you do most? There's a derivative of sex, but alone. I can't say it because I didn't hear the alone part. If you're stuck at home alone, what do you do most? There's a derivative of sex, but alone. I can't say it because it's too on the nose for me. I can't say it because that's the only material I got. Okay. But masturbate. That is correct.

That's on there. That is number six. So, Kuski, you go first. This is a dirty family feud. You go first. It's pretty wild. You're stuck at home. We are cooking. Cooking's pretty wild. You're stuck at home. We are cooking. Cooking's on there.

Jack? Sleeping? Sleeping. That is on there. That's number two. Why are we suddenly going back and forth? You got one wrong, so you get another chance to get another one wrong, right? So you go back and forth after that, just like we did last round.

Oh. Wait, so who's wrong? You get another chance to get one. What did I get wrong? No, you didn't get any wrong yet. He got a bunch wrong the last one. Yeah, but why did I get two guesses right away? Because you got one wrong.

And then I just get another chance to go again? What? No. What are you talking about? I shouldn't. I just. You have to go first. Okay, whatever.

Continue. What did you say? Sleeping. Dang it. I should have told her. Go on the internet. That is correct. That's number five.

Eating. Eating's number one answer, Jack. So far we have eating, sleeping. I shared what you said about her. TV, movie, sports, internet, masturbate, and cooking. There is one, two, three, four more. I'm going to say chores, Bob. Chores is on there. Steve?

You have three left. Relax? Relaxing is on there. Would nothing constitute as relaxing? Lounging, relaxing is number seven. You have two left. I'm stuck at home. One is number three and one is number eight.

What are you doing? You're stuck at home. Rub some butter on yourself so you get unstuck. You get some of that thick milk and you just rub it all over. That gets you more stuck. That gets you more stuck. You call a friend. Incorrect.

Jack. Play video games. That is correct. I can't believe we haven't said that one. There's one left. And it's what? Like the last one on the list? It's number eight.

Number eight. You just do nothing. That's already been said. Is that relaxing? It's relaxing. You decorate. That is incorrect. Jack, if you get this right, you win the round.

If you get this wrong, you also win the round. Clean? That is incorrect. The answer is reading. Oh. But Jack still wins the round. Woo! All right.

Where might you hide something if you're smuggling something into prison? I already hear it. You're starfish. Your butt is number two. Jack, do you have number one?

Your hair? Your hair is on there. Not number one. If there's only one other thing other than number one. There's only seven answers. Kuski, you got number two, and you got number seven. I'm going to say your mouth. Your mouth is not on there, is very shocking i know i know my other yeah i should have said the other one but

the other one sounds like do i get to do it next yeah jack you're up i was a woman the front butt we did It's butt slash vagina Okay So that I'm not gonna Just gooch Cause that meets in the middle That's a separate entity

You get another answer Another answer It's already been said What about gooch I'm not gonna say gooch In between your tatas How else Where else are you gonna put something

Belly button That is incorrect I got one Your belt thing Your belt? That is incorrect. I got one. Your belt thing. Your belt thing. That is not on here. Where else are you hiding shit?

I don't know. This is tough. Ear? No. Your socks. All right. Socks is on there. But they give you socks.

They check the socks. Yeah. They give you socks. Let me have your butt. Ready for number one? Yeah. In a cake. That's good. Up your butt or vagina.

Number three, underwear slash bra. They check those. Number four, it's not... We thought it was like the person... It's not an actual prison person doing this. I thought it was like what you're getting. We need some specifications. They always talk to...

Steven! They talk to 100 people at a mall. All right? That's all they do. And these people are, they rode the short bus there. Number four is shoe. Number five is socks. Number six, bribe a guard.

That's one of them. And the last one is hair. You said hair, didn't you? It's a tie, one to one on that one. Damn it. All right. Name a part of the body that gets plastic surgery. Kuski.

I'm great at this first one. The tatas. The boobs is the number one answer. All right. Jackson, you can't do any better. Kuski goes first. Lips. Lips is number four.

Jack. Butt. Yourips is number four. Jack. Butt. Your butt is number five. What? Your face. Your nose. Sorry. Your nose.

So face? Nose. I'm going to go nose. Nose is on there. What number? Stomach. Stomach is on there. We have one left. Plastic surgery. Nose is on there. What number? Stomach. Stomach is on there.

We have one left. Plastic surgery. I'm going to say like your cheeks. That is incorrect. Eyes. That's incorrect technically. Is it your, like does Botox count? That's not plastic surgery.

Is that it? So your forehead? Yes. Forehead is correct. Yeah. You guys got all of those. That's not plastic surgery. Is that it? Your forehead? Yes. Forehead is correct. You guys got all of those. That's pretty impressive. It's boobs, nose, belly, lips, butt, and forehead. Nice.

It's a lot of Bs. A lot of Bs, baby. All right. Next one is, first thing you would do if you inherit $100 million? Jack. Buy a lake. And that's a callback. That is not on there.

It was worth the bet. That was a callback to our thing about shitty callbacks. That was good. And I called back again. There's layers to that one. I need more snake juice, baby. I'm out of snake juice already. Dude, I'm so many steps ahead.

I'm trying so quickly to get down here. There's another one in there. There's also Miller Lights. There's also some Miller Lights. So I'm going to say Buy a House. Buy a House is number three.

Check. I guessed wrong, so he gets to start. Buy a car. Buy a car's on there. Remember, these are mall people, so don't think charity's on there. Yeah, charity's probably not on there. Go on vacation.

That is on there, Jack. Good one. Thanks. First psychology. I'm going to say give to charity. Incorrect. Damn it. These are mall people,

baby. Buy an exotic pet. You're getting very enclosed with it, but no. Dang it. Jack, you are done with this round. Damn it.

One more, Kuski, and you win the round. Shouldn't I have already won? You already won the round. We't I have already won? Yeah, you already won the round, but still, just give me one more. So we have cars, we have house, we have vacation. Remember, these are mall people. These are mall people. Buy some new shoes. Incorrect.

Incorrect. What was the one that was close? Number one was drugs. No, I'm just kidding. Quit your job. Quit your job is number one. Then goes new car, new house, vacation, new boat. Pay off a debt, invest, drugs.

I feel like everyone's like, new boat? It's probably just a boat. You didn't have a boat before. Or you did, and it was a bad one. It was a shitty, shitty. It was a canoe. Here we go. Name an athlete in a scandal.

That's good. Cusky. I guess not anymore, really, but OJ? That is number three, OJ. Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods is number two. That's Jackets, so point and you start. Brett Favre.

Ooh, Penis Favre is not on the list. What about Mississippi Favre? What about taking money from poor people, Favre? Allegedly. I'm going to say Caitlyn slash Bruce Jenner. Not on the list. Should be. She mowed down a family of four while she was drunk driving.

Someone mowed her down afterwards, if you know what I mean. She mowed herself down. I don't get that. Cut that. No, they cut the hedges. Hey, can you cut Jack motorboating his elbow? I don't want the producers to get mad. No, I went. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kuski.

No, I went. I said the Jenners. Jack. What other athletes have done horrible, terrible things? I don't know. Oh, Aaron Hernandez. Ooh, that's not on there. This must be an old poll.

It's also very mall people. Who'd you say? Aaron Hernandez. Aaron Hernandez. very mall people. Who would you say? Aaron Hernandez. Aaron Hernandez. Say Shohei Otani. When was his study done?

Not after that. Oh, Lance Armstrong. That is the number one answer, Lance Armstrong. Wow, that's a good one. All right, Kuski wins that round. Number one is, do you want to try some more? Yeah, so we have Lance, we have Tiger, we have who else? OJ.

OJ. You guys got the top three? We have the top, how many are left? One, two, three, four, five, six. Ooh, okay. Six, damn. Let's try to get through this one together. Yeah.

Michael Jordan, would he be one? Michael Jordan should not be on there. But wasn't there a whole thing about how he left? But Ron Artest would be more on there than anything, but he's not going to be on there. You're missing a big one. We're missing a big one for sure. That we've done talks about callbacks.

We've done callbacks about? Was it the Minnesota Vikings football team? No. Was it Jackie Chan? No. Just it Jackie Chan? No. Just go for it. We have Lance Armstrong, Tiger Woods, OJ Simpson, Michael Vick.

Oh, our boy. Our dog. Barry Bonds, Mike Tyson, Colin Kaepernick, Oscar Pestroyas. Oh, that's the Blade Runner. And then Trevor Bauer. That's one of those top nine.

Trevor Bauer is the most mall people answer because he is a mall person. Mall person Trev. All right. Who do you not want to run into when you're out? Kuski. My parents. my parents Kuski's mom is number three yes Jack can you do any better

wait was it parents on there parents and Kuski's mom parents slash Kuski's mom the mall people do not like Kuski's mom when you're don't want to run into when you're out Parents slash Kuski's mom. The mall people do not like Kuski's mom. I don't want to run into when you're out.

A murderer. That is on there. That's number seven, though. Dude, that should be so much higher on the list. All right, Kuski. You got number three, so you start. I'm going to say your teachers. That's a good one. That is not on there.

Really? But your parents aren't? My mom's on there? But Miss Johnson? Murderers are not above Kuski's mom. Kidnappers? What about kidnappers? A mugger.

I'm going to put murderer slash mugger. Oh, okay. There's a big difference between murderers. Homeless people. Is it on there? No. Sometimes you have to go like, hey, dude, I don't have any cash on me. And it's always so uncomfortable.

Co-workers. Co-workers is number two. Yes. Jack. Bosses. Boss, co-workers. Co-workers slash boss. I hate this.

Potato, tomato, baby. That is technically still your co-worker. In-laws? That is not on there. Jack, that is two strikes. There's just a lot of people I'd like to see out. That was a really close face he made. He just edged himself.

Remember, these are mall people. Rival gang? Police officers. Rival gang? Police officers. Rival mall gang? No. All right. That is wrong. I still won.

You still won. Number one, X. Oh. Then goes co-worker slash boss. That's family. Then number three, parents slash Kuski's mom. Number four, a friend. Crazy mall people.

Number five, siblings. Number six, a spouse. Number seven, a killer slash mugger. Number eight, a drunk. Number nine, a priest. So homeless person. Drunk should be homeless person. Homeless person and family could have covered all those.

All right. What's an excuse you'd give for someone who asks you on a date? Koski. Nah, you fat bitch. That's not on there. Can we put ugly? That is not on there. Grandparent died?

That also is not on there. Not a high school paper. Could be. I'm too busy. Busy is on there. That is correct. Jack, you want to get higher than busy? Because busy is number four out of five.

I already have a date. That's being busy, I guess. I guess everything is just too busy. Yeah. Hey, yeah. I'm going on a date with someone else that's cooler than you, but... I have AIDS.

Oh. STDs. That's not on there, Jack. You did that on purpose, dude. You did that on purpose. All right. Kuski, you have... What a jerk.

...won the game because you told him wrong answers and he fell for it. What are you doing, dude? You're scum. Darn. You're scum, dude.

What is it? What's the number one answer? Excuse me as to why I don't want to go on a date with you. I'm not into dudes. Sorry. We're not into... Okay. All right.

Number one answer is I'm in a relationship. Number two is not interested. Number three, gay. Give him a half point for that one. Number four is busy. And number five is I'm not dating right now. Which is basically what I said in the first answer. Yeah.

They're all what you say in the first answer. All right. This will be fucking no cards. He probably has next week's game already ready. Oh, yeah. I have next week's game ready, dude. That one I'm so pumped for. I'm like real pumped for that one.

Next week's Jack's going to be really pumped. Yeah, same. I wonder what you'll be wearing. Name something you hope the pilot isn't doing. Jack. I'm a star actually. Smoking weed. Drugs is number two.

Getting hijacked. That's a good one. That's a really important criteria for being a pilot. Not on there. Do you know that back in the day, because legitimately pilots, they just, and I have a pilot in my family, and I'm sorry if I'm speaking out of turn here.

I'd like to speak. Kevin, I don't want you to think that I'm dissing your profession, but I feel like they just hit, they literally just hit autopilot for the most part. They do. And then they have to do other stuff through it to make sure it's safe land.

But when they go autopilot, this was back in the day, not these days, but the stewardess would just come in there and like fuck there's a reason why it's called the cockpit dude uh is your answer fuck the story no i hope mine is doing that that's on the list that That's a number five. Is it actually? Woo! Dude. These are mall people. Is sleeping one?

Sleeping is number one. Does anyone need a beer? Is drinking drugs? Drinking drugs? Was it drinking slash drugs when I said smoking? No. Drinking. Yep, drinking is on there for number three. Cusky. No. Drinking. Yep, drinking is on there for number three. Cusky.

There are two left. So we have fucking. We have taking a nap, drugs, drinking, and fucking the stewardess. How many are left? Two. Missing. Using the bathroom. Hope he's not using.

That is correct. Taking a shit. Yeah. I hope they do. Yeah. All right. Last one. Here we go. These are mall people. Remember that. So their answers sometimes don't make sense.

What are they doing? It's like, what are they playing? They're playing Uno? They got a game of cribbage going up front. Sorry guys, we can't land yet. On their phone? I don't know. They got a game of cribbage going up front. Sorry, guys. We can't land yet. On their phone? I don't know.

That's correct. Texting or on their phone. Texting and flying. That's probably how they're flying the plane anyway. That's a good one. All right. All right. Here we go.

Last person you want walking in on you having sex. Jack. Oh, my. Parents slash Kosti's mom. That is correct. Number two. Parents slash Kosti's mom. Your roommate.

Friend. Dad. Coworker. Your spouse. I was going to say it, too, but it doesn't seem appropriate. I was going to say it too but it doesn't seem appropriate I'm going to go spouse number 7 actually

alright so Jack you've got number 2 answers so you can keep going there's 9 answers holy crap siblings siblings is on there production crew production crewiblings is on there. Production crew.

Production crew is not on there. You want them in there because that's how you make your nut. That's how you join a profession you don't want to join. Or maybe you do want to join. You just don't know yet. Grandparents. Naked grandma. I'm going to kind of give it in-laws as well yeah

I'm gonna give that one a pet pet is on there when a pet walks in that's terrible what else kids kids is the number one answer

yeah yeah that checks out. Has that ever happened to any of us? No, my two-year-old is. No, you as a kid walking in. Oh. No, I haven't walked in on myself. On your parents.

No, they've never had sex. I don't believe that. There's a chance because he's not from them. He's a sister. He's a sister. He's not from them. He's a sister. He's a sister. He's not from them. What a way to phrase that. Yeah.

I never did, but I remember the door being locked. I apologize if that was disrespectful. And hearing noises that were like, ooh, that shouldn't go in. You ever seen your parents naked? I've seen my dad. Not like creepily, but just like... I think we should move on. Locker room.

Just dudes being dudes, you know? All right. A lot of these answers have been my mom. You have two more answers. You're both very kind of silly answers. Bugs Bunny. Aliens. That is incorrect.

Bugs Bunny was wrong. Shit. Santa? Incorrect. I've got to be done, aren't I? Yeah, you're done. You're done as well, I guess. Maid or robber

slash killer robber killer is funny but if anyone's like i hope my maid doesn't walk in like i guess they're more in a hotel yeah oh yeah i guess that's all right last one here we go uh name something adults are irrationally afraid of? Jack. Snakes. Incorrect. Spiders. Incorrect. The ones on here, they're mall people for sure. The wife taking everything in the divorce. I can one-up that one.

Maybe it is with a buster. Marriage. Jack, I'm going to give you the... No, I'm not. That's so mean. That is so mean. I won't do it. Okay. Jack, say it again.

Say something again. They're irrationally afraid of going up the stairs when they turn the lights off. You know, the basement monsters. So the dark? The dark, yeah. The dark is on there. Number three. Whoa. Heights. The dark is on there. Number three.

Whoa. Heights. Heights is not on there, Michael. How is marriage in heights not on there? I'm just waiting to hear the ones they said. A fire? Fire is not on there. Number one, ghosts.

Ghosts? That's fair. Number one, ghosts. Ghosts? That's fair. Number two, monsters. Number three, the dark. Number four, aliens. Number five, the dentist. The dentist sucks. Number six, Kuski's mom.

Mom, you snake, you snake, you snake. I know you were going with that. Yeah. I know you were going with that. Now I know you were going with that one. That would have been so funny. I love you, Mommy. We love you, Mama Kuski. But fuck, that was great.

You didn't deserve that crossfire, but man, it was built perfect. You know what's funny? She's going to laugh harder than anyone. Okay, good. Okay, good. We know Mama Kuski has a sense of humor. To be honest, she would probably be the one who made that joke first. That's why she's giving away all of her signs.

Meow. Oh, man. Well. Oh, that was good. Good giggle. That was some family fun right there. Yeah, that was good. Thanks, Steve.

No problem. I'm Steve Harvey. It's like we're playing Family Feud. Dude, we're killing them with the callbacks today. We're really good at this. Callback city. Callback city. All right.

I think we should. Where are we at? Where are we at? It doesn't matter. We're about 45 minutes into this. What's your favorite bar in Milwaukee? I know what yours is probably. What?

Tiki Bar? Yeah. This is Corner Pub Corner Pub? We should have We should have coordinated that one I thought I was teeing it up I knew what he was doing I thought I was teeing it up

I thought you guys were going to hit it out of the fucking park Try it again, try it again Serve at the top Serve at the top It's like it's Hey you dumb fucking idiots Nope, nope We're the fucking park. Try it again. Try it again. Serve at the top. Serve at the top. It's like it's... Hey, you dumb fucking idiots. Nope, nope. We're going to get flagged for that one.

Try it again. One more time. One more time for the top. What's your favorite bar in Milwaukee? I don't know. What is yours, Michael? I don't know. I just can't put my finger on it.

Oh. Well, maybe if you put your finger on my shirt, you'll know. Drink Wisconsin-y, the corner pub down in the Deer District. Can you say that a little louder? I can't really hear you. Drink Wisconsin-y, the corner pub in the Deer District. Wait, hold on. Now try.

You're pushing it. I'm not going to yes and that one. Best prop comic in the game, baby. Dude's a ventriloquist. Drink Wisconsin, think responsibly. See you next week. See you guys next week. Don't call. Drink responsibly. Think responsibly. See you next week. See you guys next week. Stone cold.