Fat Chance Podcast - DRINK WISCONSINBLY Ep. 103

Episode Date: January 25, 2024

Addressing the elephant that is the room. Welcome to our new home away from home! Jack goes rollerblading down a county highway. Judd finds the most interesting Men of the Midwest. Michael isn't buying any other the information thrown his way. SPONSORED BY:  @DrinkWisconsinbly  **Stop by the corner bar of the Deer District for not only the fastest, but the best Old Fashioned in Milwaukee!** PATREON!!!! patreon.com/fatchancestudios CHECK OUT THE NEW FAT CHANCE SHORTS CHANNEL!!!  @FatChanceShorts  https://youtube.com/@FatChanceShorts?si=wCjiBc0ddHEYk_bs  @FatChanceShorts  Get your Chewzie TODAY!  @TheChewzie  https://www.thechewzie.com Check Out The Crew: Michael Cuske - @michaelcuske on everything Judd Reminger - @juddremingerscomedy7298 @juddreminger on all other socials Jack Cerasoli - @jackthedragon1 or @jack_c_comedy

um did you don't you know the urine of a diabetic contains so much sugar that it can be purified and made into whiskey don't you know that's wild you need a half a highlight What was wrong? Jesus, that's stupid. You need a half a highlight? I need like half a highlight. Let me feel a little extra comfy in there. I need that highlight. What happens after one?

Are we recording? Well, yeah. I hope so. I hope so. If you get me going into a promo dry, it's going to turn into just absolute garbled mess. But I think it would be fun to have you start dry and then see the difference it takes at the end fresh off the top and it's just like hello welcome to drink wisconsin at that point the fresh off the top promo is going to suck and everyone's just gonna end they're just gonna click off it or they're gonna stick around to see how

bad does it get it gets only better It gets only better after half a highlight. Have you seen those interviews? Like they interview the person before their first drink. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then like at the end of the night they show up and they have the same interview. Their head's in the toilet. I don't want to do that with ad reads. We could do that in here once.

Yeah, just have Jack start an ad read and then at the end of the night, he has to do another ad read. I'm the fastest old-fashioned in the West. Throwing glasses everywhere. I love it. Might want to hide the merch. Yeah, at that point. It's weapons at this point. Yeah.

I can turn a hoedown into a weapon. Should we address the elephant in, or that is the room? This is the room. This is an this point. Yeah. I can turn a whole hangar into a weapon. Should we address the elephant in, or that is the room? This is the room. This is an elephant room. Yeah. We are in? Drink Wisconsin-bly. The corner pub.

At the Deer District. So we are here right now filming. And as you can see, they've got the delicious Drink Wisconsin-bly brand new old fashions right now. They look great. We're not going to start hitting promos on there yet. I'm still only a quarter of a high life in. But right now, this is a really cool bar. I actually used to bounce here back in college.

I don't even know if we should say that. And they missed him so much. This is the only way he could get in the bar. They only let him outside a little bit. Did they remember you? Kind of, yeah, yeah, yeah. As much as you can remember a bouncer, you know. Is that the moneymaker?

You remember an employee in like one of two ways. Either like, oh, they worked hard or I never want to see their face again. Did you quit? Yeah, I did because I moved. I moved to Florida. Was he fired? Yeah, he was fired. There we go.

We got some head nods. Moved to Florida. Moved to Florida is just like going to the farm when you're a dog. It sounds like you're a witness protection. I moved to Florida. Now I'm back. Just moved to Florida. I just grew some facial hair.

Now they can't recognize me. But we had some good times down here when the Celtics-Bucks playoffs were going on. Oh, that's when you were here? I thought it was much longer. Celtics-Bucks, it was great. Oh, that's when you were here? I thought it was much longer. Yeah, Celtics-Bucks. It was great. It took Jack to leave for us to win a championship. Yeah. I was actually back here when that happened. I would have said that.

That was probably some of the most intense nights of drinking I've had in downtown Milwaukee. There were these two Celtics fans that came the week before we played them, or the week we played them, and then I think we played, whoever we played afterwards, they came dressed as Bucs fans the next weekend, and I recognized them immediately.

I was like, you guys are reckless right now. Always hammered, both super bald, but having the best time of their entire life, and they'd always pull this thing, I'm sorry to the management, that they're going to hear this, but they'd always pull, hey, where are my tickets? And they'd hand me their phone, and there'd be a crisp Andrew Jackson on their phone. And I would grab it, and I'd go, I think you are in the nosebleeds. And then they'd walk in, and I'd take my $20, and I would continue being a good employee.

So that's why I moved to Florida. Jack was fired. Yeah, you were definitely fired. That's a I moved to Florida. Jack was fired. Yeah, you were definitely fired. That's a good thought. Dude, if you can get into a bar like that. Right here across from the Deer District. Shaq walked by here so many times. Diesel?

Diesel did. This is a monumental corner. How much did he pay you? He didn't pay me shit. He just punched me in the mouth. I'm actually going to start using that. Wait, where are my tickets? I'm going to try with a five, see if that doesn't work, then we'll bump it up.

If you hit me with a five, I would say please kick rocks. The ticket thing is real now with bars. They do line leap. Yeah. Because I went to school at UW. Most of the bars do line leap now to try and compete with. There was one very specific bar there. Pouncers were making $25,000 a year

from people skipping the line. They were paying years of college tuition off just from people skipping the line. It started at 50 at like 8 o'clock at night, and then by midnight, people were like, yeah, it's $200 to skip the line. And some people just have that

and are dishing out to get in. It's like an app. It's like a Fast Pass at Disney. Yeah. Except you get drunk and you don't have to go on Space Mountain. But then the Line Leap isn't an app. Yeah, it's like an app. You just, you buy a... It's like a Fast Pass at Disney. Yeah. Oh. Except you get drunk, and you don't have to go on Space Mountain. But then the Line Leap line gets just as long.

Like, I spent $100 to wait in a semi-shorter line. You'll look at my phone the whole time? Yeah. That's fun. That's fun. Well... Go for it. No, go ahead.

What are you going to say? I was going to say, what's the longest you... What's the longest you wait in line? Or would you? Would you wait for a bar? Oh, never. I don't like to wait for bars at all.

I don't like Halloween because you're bringing the people. Unless I'm meeting someone at the bar, I'm not going to wait in line. Yeah, that's the only time I do is when I'm waiting. Because what, am I going to go hang out inside? We can hang out right here. Yeah. I'm not a fan of waiting in line either. I think I can wait max five, ten minutes.

If you see the line moving. You know what's cool about here, though? They have their windows here, like their drive-thru windows. So while you're waiting in line, you just have someone break off from your line, get around, and while you're waiting in line, because this is all open carrier right here in the Deer District. So I remember so many times people flagging up before they got in. They're like, hey, you've been over-stripped already.

Yeah, yeah. I've seen my buddy one time. He probably got kicked out of the bar four times because they had a shift change. He started early, and he got kicked out for sleeping in the bar, then came back when a lot of the shift change game, and then somehow the different bouncer let him in again the other way. That's just smart drinking. That's smart drinking. He's not that drunk if he can figure out the ways around the rules.

It was mostly for sleeping, so he just kept passing out. At that point, after your second nap in the day, you're done. You're done. You've had too much. Go home. I've done, because I second nap in the day, you're done. Yeah. You're done. You've had too much. Go home. He was good. I've done, because I worked at a bar, too. I've done the game day at UW, and then at the bar I worked at.

Like, they're watching me, serving me, and they're like, you work in six hours, and we know you're not going home. I was like, no, I'll go home. I'll take that nap. Only one nap. And then it got to the point where I'm like, my manager goes, Michael, you work in going home. I was like, no, I'll go home. I'll take that nap. Only one nap. And then it got to the point where I'm like, my manager goes, Michael, you work in 15 minutes. I go, hey, you want to go get me a chef's shirt?

And I'll just throw that on and bartend? He goes, yeah, why not? And then watched me change in the back and then just walked right back out and started serving people drinks. Like nothing happened. My buddy, my college roommate was the DJ for the bar that we always went to on campus. He was the DJ.

Which basically he just played an iPod. Yeah, yeah. But he would always get drunk and get on the microphone and interrupt the songs. And people got pissed. Because he would always go in the middle of the song. Y'all say boo, I say yeah. Boo. Yeah, man. It was like in the middle of the song. Y'all say boo. I say yeah. Boo. Yeah, man.

It was like in the middle of like the worst song you should do it to. This isn't any hype. Kind of like the Packer game we were at or the bar we were at. Yeah, pretty much. He would just interrupt the- There was a DJ at the Packer game? Yeah. Whoa.

It was- Do you want me to wait for it? So my buddy would get drunk and try to hide the microphone from him early on. He goes, Judd, all right, go hide the microphone so I don't know in this place. And I'm going to get drunk and I won't know where it is. And I was like, all right. And we would do it. And he would last probably a good two hours.

And all of a sudden, somehow I hear boo. Boo. God damn it. Jake found the microphone. Speaking of DJs, my old roommate, Jake, he did. He DJed for our formals in college and he got he was a little over served as well and was not playing any music relevant that people would want to dance to. Nice slow song stuff like we're in college. We don't want to do this right now.

And it got to a point where, like, hey, bartender, just start giving him Cokes. And he did. Gave him Cokes, whatever. And then he still just was like, Jake's not sobering up. And so we unplugged his DJ booth, plugged in our buddy's iPod, and then watched him DJ for another hour and a half to the music we were playing. So he was listening to his own music like this is they're loving this meanwhile we're listening completely there for an hour and a half

yeah and then our other buddy threw him against the wall because he tried to scare him going to bed at night so it was a fun you hate being spooked when you're drunk going to bed that's a fact you don't knock on someone's hotel door hide underneath underneath the peephole, and then when your buddy opens it, who has a tendency to fight in college, jump up and go, yeah, you're going to get punched through. If you get a door knock and you look through the peephole and no one's there, you go, this other prank or I'm getting robbed. You don't open the door. That's your buddy's fault.

Drunk people are so hard. I had a friend of mine, We were at a bachelor party. This is not really – he just gets belligerent and drunk, but he can stand up. You don't really know it, but he's just gone. There's no one behind the wheel. And we're bellying up to the bar. He's standing about to order another drink. And all of a sudden, we look down, and there's just a pee pile where he's standing he's standing up peeing at the bar no like nothing so we're like well we gotta get this

guy out of here before the bartender sees this so my other buddy sees that spills a drink where where the water was spills a drink he's like oh i spilled a drink can i can i get a towel and stuff so we gotta clean it up but we to get the guy out of here. And the guy's so drunk, we get him back to where we're staying. And it's four guys against one, but he also was a college wrestler. So now we have to wrestle these pants off a guy who's very good at wrestling. Just so he doesn't sleep in his pee pants. Wrestle these pants off a guy.

Clip it. Yeah. Sleeping in pee pants is definitely a tough wake up. You've heard about how many times I've peed. Yeah, you would know. Let's move away from the pee pants. Let's move into what makes me pee my pants. Introducing the drink with sconce and brie, Brandy Old Fashioned.

It is the fastest old fashioned on the market right now. And here's the best part about Brandy Old Fashioned. You don't even need to let your friends know it's that fast. All right? You can go down. I go right down into my little bar hutch in the basement while I'm hosting up on the first floor. Go back down to my basement. Crack open a can.

Pour it into a glass over ice. All right? It takes four seconds probably for a damn good old-fashioned. All right? They make the brandy old-fashioned themselves. DW Brandy. DW Brandy Old-ed, all right? And while that's happening, they're all up there chatting.

They think I'm mixing away. I shake a little cup with ice in it. They think I'm mixing it up. Guess what? That entire time, I just have an out-of-the-can. I come back up. They look at me like I'm the best barista. Actually, what is it, mixologist?

Mixologist they've ever seen in their entire life. They're expecting me to have twirly mustache, bracelets, tattoos, and movies they've never seen before like any typical mixologist you've seen in the downtown Milwaukee area. But guess what? It's just out of a can, and it's the most delicious brand-new old-fashioned they've ever tasted in their entire life. That's a DW brand-new old-fashioned here at the Corner Bar of the Deer District.

And, yeah, we'll try that again in, like, another 45 minutes after I've had. And time. Time. If I'm a betting man, though... No. I mean... I like to bet. Why would things work

on the first try with us? All right. Yeah. So... You guys want to play the game? Wait, let me... Let's address the... We do a big clap,

so we break into it, all right? From the top. From the top. One, two, three. Go. All right. Wait, now that's going to throw you off when you edit. Yeah now that's going to throw you off when you edit.

Yeah, that's going to throw me off. Do you guys want to play a game? Mike's turned off. We just played a game. I'm just kidding. What's this game? What's this game? So basically, Florida, they get all the crazy stories.

And I think the Midwest has plenty of crazy stories. So basically, the game today is, you know how we do a Florida Man headlines? You see a bunch of different types of headlines. Oh, yeah. Give me a brand new one. You want to see how fast this old-fashioned is? Yeah, yeah. Show the lightning.

We'll put it here and I'll snap it and I'll go, done. Watch this. Watch this. Oh, they're cold. These are frigid. All right. Check this out. Let's get the branding in there.

Hi, Bobby. One, two, three. Old-fashioned. Oh, check this out. Let's get the branding in there. Hi, Bobby. One, two, three. Oh, that missed. You know what the best part is? We just had technical difficulties from touching the computer, and we're like, let's start cracking alcoholic beverages over the computer now.

Let's have the chimp in the group crack open drinks. I already got one out for you. All right. Thank you very much. So this one is going to be headlines around the Midwest, but I've left a few of the words out, so you have to tell me what those words are.

And these all are in the Midwest, so you don't have to tell me where they're from, but I'll tell you where they're from. Okay, but we fill in what they did. Yeah, you fill in what they did. So Robert Wadlow is the world's tallest man from what state? Nebraska. I was thinking Nebraska as well.

But I was also thinking Iowa. You what? Iowa. Fuck Iowa. Kaitlyn Clark. I mean, she is kind of tall. Did you see her pretend To get hit

Yeah yeah yeah She was also Like man I hope she's okay What about the press conference Oh it was a really scary Interaction Or altercation That drove me nuts

But god damn Can she ball She can She can ball And that's the thing I saw something That was like Feet weren't planted

No charge Or whatever it was That's great She would cross over Your glass ankles Dude she would make me Look great. She would cross over your glass ankles. Dude, she would make me look so silly. She would put 4,000 points on me. But if we were doing Oklahoma Drill, good night.

I saw that replay. But she also totally saw that fan. I was watching the replay, and she went like that. She was just trying to make it. Kaylin Clark, we're fans. Thank you, Kalen. You're really good at everything except for taking the body. We could use you over at Wisconsin here.

All right, so where are you? I'm going to hit Iowa. He's going to hit Nebraska. Okay. Illinois. Illinois is where they're from. How tall is the world's tallest man? Well, Wemby is what, 7'6"?

I'm going to go he's 7'12", 8 feet. 8 feet on the dot. 7'9". Ooh, you guys are very close. Kuski wins 8'1". That's insane. It's disgusting. Could you imagine trying to slip into bed being 8'1"?

Jack, can you read that? The world's shortest man is from Franklin, Wisconsin. His name is Michael Kuski. Thank you. All right is Michael Kuski. Thank you. All right, so the next headline. Jack is off the podcast. He wrote it. I'm just reading the script.

Burlington, Iowa has been duped. The Guinness World Records of what? Dubin, Iowa? Burlington, Iowa. Dubin? Has been dubbed. I was watching the guy walk. I haven't had this many visual things.

I get so distracted. God forbid he was facing the wall behind him. Burlington, Iowa has been dubbed what? That's Wisconsin, isn't it? All right. Dubin, Iowa is dubbed the Burlington of what? Wait, what was the question? Burlington, Iowa has been dubbed what by the Gantz Book of World Records?

The slowest old-fashioned. Ooh, that's good. Jack, what do you think? Talk about what I was going to say. I would probably say farm. Ooh, that's good. They actually have the world's crookedest street. Stupid.

The crookedest street. Every 75 feet, the street turns directly 90 degrees. Isn't that just another street? Could you imagine me in the wind going, you have the most crookedest street. There's engineers that made the worst street ever, and it's in a book forever. But wouldn't that just be another street?

Like if it's perpendicular, isn't that just another street? It's a road. Yeah. The world's crookedest street is in Burlington, Iowa. This just in. Close second. Wrigleyville. Go crew. We have to do this. All right.

So here we go. Number three. Wisconsin in 1995 became the world's largest producer of what? Drink Wisconsin's brand new old fashions. Ooh, that would be good. That would be nice. They are 10 years old.

The world's largest producer of this. Ooh. Beer. No, it's not beer. It's not something we're going to know. I mean, you know this thing. I mean, yeah, but it's not something we expect. I choose cheese curds over beer.

Okay. Tractor tires. Cranberries is the question. That's so tires. Cranberries is the correct answer. That's so stupid. Cranberries. You know what? I was wrong. You know what's wild is that we're the world's largest producer in something that people only

have because their grandma makes it on Thanksgiving. But the world's largest producer of DUIs. Drink Wisconsinably. Drive responsibly. There you go. Number four. A Midwest woman is seeking a clack action suit. A clack action suit against Reese's over what?

Ooh, ooh, ooh. There was a... It wasn't actually the shape of a pumpkin. Can you ask me the question again? I was really not focused. The Midwest woman seeking a class action suit against Reese's over what? Not shaped like a pumpkin, I guess. Wait, you're taking Michael's answer?

No. Don't be out here. No. I don't know. It's not a cup. You can't drink anything out out here. No. I don't know. It's not a cup. You can't drink anything out of it. Okay. You are spot on.

Yeah. It didn't have a face either. And on the package, they had a face of a pumpkin. It was a jack-o'-lantern. The likeness wasn't even close. And the lady sued, even though it's peanut butter. Did she win? I don't know.

It's still going on. I totally thought that was going to be represented by David Gruber, but that's not what he said. My dog would have still licked it off of me. The peanut butter. Off my privates. Number five. A Midwest man proposed to his girlfriend shortly after what?

His first DUI. Her bailing him out. Her bailing him out for his first DUI. A Midwest man. Sprinting his ankle at the polar plunge. Our buddy Josh did sprint his ankle at the polar plunge. Both are incorrect. Shooting a 17-point buck.

Okay. That's pretty electric. That's the most Midwestern thing. Her ring is just the rack. You guessed it. It will be a shotgun wedding. He's only after her rack. All right.

Number six. Missouri woman. She's after his rack, right? No. Good question. 17 points. Two points. Missouri woman understandably freaks out because what is stuck in her ear?

Corn. Corn. Definitely corn. No, that'd be Nebraska, right? Corn travels all over the place. I get it. Does it travel? It's a worldwide grain.

Yeah, I think it travels. Everyone has corn. Never in my year have I had it, but I'm sure someone has. I saw one of my best friends in kindergarten stuck a coffee bean up his nose. I'm pretty sure Missouri has corn. I mean, yeah, I think everyone's got corn. I was trying to think of what would be stuck in a Missouri woman's ear other than corn. Cranberries.

No, not a cranberry. It would only happen in Wisconsin because we manufacture so many cranberries. So many. Have you seen the bogs? The bogs? The bogs. I have. You know what's funny is that you manufacture so many cranberries. So many. Have you seen the Boggs? The Boggs? The Boggs. I have. You know what's funny is that you've just smashed cranberries with your feet.

You still have people going in, but there's pants rolled up. I don't think they do. I don't think you have to. It's in all the commercials. Maybe 500 years ago. One of those commercials would just be like an old guy with overalls going, cranberries. Oh, yeah.

The ocean's bright. With his granddaughter. I'm tired of this grandpa that's two um well it's stuck in here a two by four no it's a big year living giant spider okay it's stuck in here was it stuck or just living there worst thing in her ears since listening to Kuski talk about Germans number seven a dog Cecil a golden doodle

did what to cost her owner $4,000 Cecil a dog a golden doodle did what to cost her owner $4,000. Cecil, a dog, a golden doodle, did what to cost her owner $4,000? Do you know this? Peed on a cranberry farm.

Peed on a cranberry farm. Ruined the crop. Ruined some crops? Okay. Literally the whole state of Wisconsin's cranberries are worth $4,000. I don't know. Tracked mud on very expensive furniture. That's a pretty lame answer.

That's pretty lame. But she ate $4,000 worth of cash that was on a table. First of all, was this owner a drug dealer? It was an envelope. Why do you have $4,000 in cash? Can we say this one? Because the last one was cut. $4,000?

That's a dinner for two at the Cheesecake Factory. The most confusing menu you've ever seen in your entire life. Yeah, it's so big. All 900 items. You walk in, you feel like you should be riding a camel. And then you eat just a pasta dish. If you get chicken tenders at the Cheesecake Factory, I don't think you should ever be allowed to eat there again.

A Midwest airplane passenger became stuck where? Wait, it's an airplane passenger? In the bathroom. That is correct. Well, that's an airplane passenger. In the bathroom. That's correct. Well, that's what I was going to say. Didn't they just get stuck for the entire flight in the bathroom? Yes, that's correct. Someone slips under.

Do not panic. We are landing soon. Sit on top of the seat and hold on to the walls. You got stuck in the bathroom because of a door malfunction. Can I read one of these? Yeah, you should read this one. Read with the gusto. Stuck in the bathroom?

That's me after I ate $4,000 with the Cheesecake Factory. That's stupid. Hey, you got it. All right, number nine. You really got in your bag with the little corny jokes today. A Wisconsin boy celebrates his sixth birthday. Where? Cheesecake Factory. That'd be pretty good.

This is very recent. It happened like last week. I don't know. I would probably just say the Drink Wisconsin will be barred at the corner of Deer District. No, but he should when he's 21.

Quick trip. That's electric. That checks out too. That checks out. Oh, boy. I would have bought him a tin of Rogue and a 40 ounce. Alright, number 10. A man took a swim in what retail store? Cabela's.

It was technically Bass Pro Shop, but yes. Close enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you saw the video, the man had what the news called a Michael Kuski-sized penis. I'm average. And that's how you play What's the Midwest Headline. Thank you, Judd. Thank you.

Thank you very much. That was great. The clapping made it sound sad. No one else clapped. I felt bad about the pincho. Thank you. Empty bar. Also, the headlines are very fun because it's always when the newscaster read it,

and they're like, that's why he doesn't go to – You were doing the news part. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like I just watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Oh, so good. And he's just like, I guess his vacation's chilled. And he's just like, this man died covered in ice. It just looks so stupid.

I love that. That's always funny to me. I don't know how much time we've done now. Well, we're 17. We're at 30 right now, probably. Oh, that's good. We're doing a good job. We're killing it.

We can go into some don't you knows, which I think needs to be recurring because I had a lot of fun looking up just weird, weird facts. Of don't you know. Yeah. I did not by myself. Let's start with you. So don't you know is something that you don't know, but we would love to bring it to life. All right. So this one, I went a little on the gullible side of things.

In 2011, a woman paid $10,000 for a non-visible work of art from actor James Franco's Museum of Non-Visible Art. That's a real thing? A woman paid $10,000 for nothing from a room of nothing. Bitcoin. Yeah. Isn't that just an NFT? Oh, no.

Selling NFTs. Well, here's a Wisconsin fact. This is the Wisconsin one I have. Don't you know that if you play music to a wheel of cheese, it will affect the flavor. In 2019, UW-Madison, where Kuski went, that's where all his taxpayer money goes to, this guy,

they played wheels of cheese, a bunch of different music, and hip-hop made it the strongest flavor. Call him bullshit on that one. There is no way. Have you ever listened to Eminem? What do you think? I mean, how many facts are we just buying to, by the way?

You play Eminem to cheddar and it's extra sharp. What do you think the wheel of cheese would be named? After the hip-hop one? Gutekris? Oh my god, you're done. You're already done.

Don't do any more. Oh, you don't want any more? I like to have more. Hit me with more. Hit me with more. Hit me with more. Rifle them off. Get them off.

This is pretty good. This is really good. Cheese Wiz Khalifa. This is pain in the wall. Yeah, that was my Wisconsin. I don't want to run into the windows. All right. This one's not Wisconsin or cheese at all related.

But do you know that I am one in 100,000? Me? Specifically this guy right here? Why? Because one in 1,000 people suffer from the absolutely debilitating injury of penis fracture. Hold on. Did we just go from 100,000 to 1,000, by the way? Did I say 1,000?

I forget that. I'm inconsistent. Did you just go from 100,000 to 1,000, by the way? Did I say 1,000? I forget that. I'm inconsistent. Did you get to wear a cast? No, I just got an ultrasound. Oh, you're pregnant. Nice. I had to wear compression shorts and walk around my entire school like I did not have elephantitis or whatever it's called.

I remember you telling this story, and it's painful to listen to. Yeah. Like when you're willingly showing your father downstairs, and he's like, we're going to the hospital immediately. He's the only one that's going to take it seriously. Yeah, he's like, oh, we're going now. I can't go, hey, mom, I hurt myself on a trampoline. And she's going to go, yeah, we'll wait this one out.

Dad comes home at midnight, and I go, Dad, check this out. He's like, we need to get in the car and into a hospital immediately. He's so panicked because no one should be going through what I went through. All right, Kusky, what do you got? Don't you know? Where'd they go? Oh, here we go. All right.

If you wrote bigger, you'd be able to find it. We put on more Post-it notes. Don't you know the urine of a diabetic contains so much sugar that it can be purified and made into whiskey? Don't you know? That's wild. That is wild. Could you imagine having alcoholic pee not after a night of drinking? Can you imagine going to your diabetic friend's house and he goes,

I made homemade whiskey. Do you guys want to try it? That's Darren. That's what we're going to call it. Just named after the dude who peed the whiskey. Remember when he did an ad for me? You're like, because the cook's pissing it. This guy actually did.

But he filtered it. He filtered it. That's very funny. That's great. Don't you know that the Eiffel Tower is a grower, not a shower? In the summer, it's six inches taller than it is right now. Interesting. Good for the Eiffel Tower.

Say that again. Sorry. The Eiffel Tower is a grower, not a shower. It is six inches taller in the summer than it is in the winter. The Lady Liberty is probably pretty pissed that she moved to America now, probably. Why? Yeah, why? Tell me why.

Expansion from heat. What do you mean, why? Do you not know science? Don't you expand when it freezes, too? No, you shrink when it freezes. Have you ever stepped into a cold plunge and looked at your pecker? I've never been in a cold plunge. Okay, well, that explains it.

Do it next time. Let me know It doesn't Doesn't look like a bobber It doesn't change much right Yeah he doesn't get it He's like I've never gotten taller

In the summer You did one You're more likely To get it by a New Yorker Giraffes are 30 Times more likely To be struck by lightning Than people

You know Wow Just Does he see it Just a giraffe Just That's insane more likely to be struck by lightning than people. You know, wild. Just a draft. That's insane. They're so close. You don't have to worry about it.

It makes sense. Oh, why? I like how Kuski's not believing the facts. He's like, no, I think I have the same amount of chance of being struck by lightning as you guys. Actually, this is the one time I've been short. A little more grounded ah we both know that's not true that's true um i have another p1 weirdly enough i didn't realize i have two do you guys want that one or uh give me that one lobsters communicate with p they urinate at each other with their bladders on each side of their heads

wait they've got bladders on their heads of their heads. Wait, they've got bladders on their heads? I don't know. I'm buying the fact though. It's like a Jurassic Park dinosaur. I'm upset because Kuski just typed in pee facts and then also questioned every time we said one. Yeah, you know what? Absolutely. Oh, I got one

more. Is this one about pee as well? If you were to try a Coke product product one new coke product every day how long do you think it would take you to try every coke product oh like three probably 300 days yeah when you started getting to asia there's like one trillion different flavors so probably no because they get 365 they get discontinued eventually. Mandarin is probably not a good flavor.

But probably 375. 375. You're so close to mine. I hate you. I had to go over. I could have set 301. You just said two more. Nine years.

Holy. Might want to break out that mandarin taste, bud. It's definitely overmation, I promise you. Or like, you know those things where you go to Panera and you hit the button and you're like, yeah, I guess I'll have lime, vanilla, mint. It's just Coke product. It's not Coke drinks. It's like Coke makes candy.

They make food. Coke makes candy? You could probably eat one of their t-shirts. I mean, they're in the 1980s Mets. We wouldn't know, Judd. Tell us about that time period. They were big into cocaine. That's what they're known for.

You want to step on my joke more? You guys. 725, please. Can't talk about that. Shit. Yeah. He was going to step on my joke. joke so sorry well now guess what the bleep for 15 seconds stepped on your joke yeah the bleep's back in have you guys figured out you don't even know

short old and dumb is that we're going short old dumb yeah but wickedly deceptive because i'm smart. Smart. All right, give me a don't you know, Kuski. Another one? Yeah, you have the most. I'm the dumb one. He only talks about pee.

Did you know diet soda floats and regular soda sinks? I really didn't ramp these up. I'm getting worse and worse. I've got a good one. I didn't think we're going to do more than three. Did you guys know that chainsaws were first invented for childbirth? That's electric. I told my fiance I was sitting in bed googling this. No, it was probably gas.

I was rolling through my Googles with the lady. I go, did you know chainsaws were first invented for childbirth? She was like, that's ridiculous. I would love it to be like, all right, let's get this baby out of you. Yeah. And then also like, you you know what this is better on trees that's the concern it's better on trees my favorite thing is if it would be only to cut the umbilical cord that's pretty electric all right cuss you give me another one i i'm not giving you anymore come on you gotta give me one of the ones that are from soda or p no i'm done with p um

yeah you're on the soda um this would have been good i guess it's not a midwest fact but what do you think is the state vegetable of oklahoma oh state vegetable oklahoma got to be something weird. Shallots. A turnip? Watermelon. That's not a vegetable. That's what it said.

Again, who's buying the facts now? Guess what their state fruit is. Onions. Strawberries. It's doubled down. It's just things people like. They had a whole description There's one that I'm not going to say

My lady just gave it to me And it's really morbid And not fun to deal with You write Sideways I write like I talk Yeah I write like I talk

That's not cursive But it looks like cursive Cursive in all caps Yeah Is it all caps? Yeah Have you ever learned Lowercase letters?

No I did but I couldn't read it. No one could steal it. That's not a joke. No, that's why I'm laughing. I couldn't read it, and they're like, hey, start writing in caps. At least I can read it. No one else can. My secrets will be safe forever.

Appleton North, not known for the reading and writing skills. Do we have any more? I think the childbirth chainsaw was the best and writing skills. Do we have any more? I think we're done, right? I think the childbirth chainsaw was the best I can do. One time a chicken lived for 18 months after its head was cut off. That's pretty cool.

Wow. Who kept it alive? You feed it stuff? I don't know. Just like down the chute? You just shove it down the chute? Who kept it alive and why? It must have been a loving owner.

I did see there are two white rhinoceroses alive. Another thing. Who kept it alive and why? It must have been a loving owner. I did see there are two white rhinoceroses alive today. That's right. And they are guarded 24-7 from poachers. Yeah. Someone's job is just to guard these two rhinos. So they don't get into folk bands? We need to end this so bad. All right.

We are probably going to be at our time right now. So right before we leave, we're going to hit you one more time with the delicious fastest brandy you can ever make in your entire life. It's the drink Wisconsin brandy old fashioned. All right. It's made with their own brandy that they make themselves. All right.

I'm going to drink it right here. It's delicious. It's fast. You can make it in four seconds. Again, I pretend you can crush it in four seconds. Again, I pretend. You can crush it in four seconds. I'm not going to do it because it's not safe.

Drink Wisconsin, drive responsibly. You know what I mean? But we're sitting here right here at the corner bar in the Deer District where they have the best brand new old-fashioned in Milwaukee. It's a damn good brand new old-fashioned. All right. Anyone else have anything to say about these brand new old-fashioned before we call it a quit? It's delicious.

It's sweet. Sweet? It's a brand new old- a quit? It's delicious. It's sweet. Sweet? The brand-new old fashion is sweet, which is delicious. And honestly, if you're having a party, grab one of these. It's going to be a hit. Everyone's going to like it. And you can pretend that you're doing it yourself.

I would do that. And look really good. We know Jack's going to. I already have. Thank you for having us, Sarah. Yeah. This has been a lot of fun. Thank you for having us, Sarah. Thank you very much. I'm sorry we've lost footage and audio 19 times. I don't think we lost anything. I don't know what

happened. We gained things. Camaraderie, friendship, the magic. Good times. Good times. Storytelling. Me? That one's good. That one's good. That one's good. That's in there.

We'll do that one. For sure. No promises on what this is going to look like. I don't know how to end this. I think it's already ended at this point now. Yeah, once you start talking off camera, I think it's probably ended. Well, no, thank him for coming. But like I said, this is going to be a learning curve.

We know the microphone situation is going to have to change a little bit. And it's going to keep happening. We're going to come back here and film here. We don't know how many times, but we will. And every time we do, we have a great time. We're here at least once a month. We're here once a month. And you guys, come check out this corner bar in the Deer District.

It's great. I used to bounce here again, and I won't take your money. So it's a great bar. We would take your money, actually. We would take your money. We love money, but I won't be bouncing, so you just got to find me at the right time, right place. And it could be just out in the open, and you want to hand us $20. $20 is $20.

We'll take it. If you see one of us out in the open, please. I believe we're going to be here for some sporting events. We're going to be here for a lot of stuff. Come down. On the future. Come hang out with us. Come hang out with Diego.

He's taking pictures for free for two full years. Come take out this can wall. I will give anyone a knuckle sandwich if they can tell us what this beer wall actually shows. sandwich if they can tell us what this beer wall actually shows. For a Fat Chance giveaway, because we drink Wisconsin, we drive responsibly, I will be giving away a

$15 gift card to Uber for whoever guesses what this is first. I'm not giving away the shoe. We're going to end this now and then I'm going to ask him the logistics of this gift card he got for Christmas. I can buy a gift card and send it.