Fat Chance Podcast - Ep.13 - Braxton Joehnk

Episode Date: May 11, 2021

Tending a Lisp reunites for this weeks episode!

I haven't done one of these in a while. Your microphone work? Testing, testing. There you go, buddy. What's a good space still here? Welcome back. Yeah, just make sure your body's pointed towards your camera. It's been a while.

You've done this before. Oh, we got the cameras facing towards us. I like it. I'm a little nervous. I feel like I'm on Jimmy Fallon or something. Yeah. The only thing new, I mean, I like having you back. Yeah.

Like I said, I got everything. It looks like we got a minor Bud Light sponsorship. You know, the ambassador program where they send me like a hat and a cardboard cutout I glued to that. You're an apprentice. Is that a new tattoo? This one? Yeah. So if you listen to cody's episode cody got yeah i had a chance putting on her ankle and i was like fuck it i'll

just no way you don't wait you don't believe it like i mean she legit no i believe it i think that's so cool she legit got it on her ankle it's the instagram handle yeah that's so cool and so i was like i'll just get one with you and i've wanted the walk the line tattoo forever i like that and so i like that uh font too typewriter yeah i've wanted for a while i always thought i'd get it smaller but he's like i think it'd look better a little bit i'm like all right i like that it looks good yeah um welcome back it's nice to have you back. Just bringing the electricity today. Oh, this is going to be fun. So I figured...

I've been feeling good all day. To be honest, since you texted me three weeks ago asking to come back on, I have been, been like all smiles i'm like i can't wait i can't wait i'm so much better than all these fools i can't i will never admit it but um it's okay yeah it's you like how your microphone is now taped like shit's going right it's just going to shit i'm wearing a cardboard cowboy hat. Yeah, but it's for the sponsor. I don't even... Oh, I have my cartoon t-shirt on.

I've been wearing one for every episode. I got a... Oh, I love that one. I got this one from Tom and Jerry now. Mm-hmm. I figured I got you a second Warhead because I knew you'd eat the first one right away. Yeah, I'm going to eat the second.

Just for old time's sake, would you like to do a riddle? Yes, absolutely. By the way, Tom and Jerry ending super dark. There's an ending to it? Yeah, or at least one episode where Tom kills himself. Shut the fuck up. Are you serious?

Ties himself to the train tracks. Yeah, look it up. It's on, I think, YouTube or something, and it's real. It's crazy. This is when we need someone here to just be like, look it up. It's on I think YouTube or something and it's real. It's crazy This is when we need someone here just like look it up for us true Do these things have been sitting in the garage for like these haven't left the garage since you and I were doing it's not like These can go bad though. No, but like why is it all of a sudden sticking to the thing? I don't know. It's not like it's summer heat right? Yeah Yeah, it's been cold the entire time. Alright, ready? Yep.

I don't miss doing this, by the way. I kind of miss the warheads. I miss having you here. I don't miss the warheads. Alright. By the way, real quick, before I break up, because of that shotgun,

Ryan Coos, and I know this is a long time ago, this is going to be, it's not even a brag, because, whatever. He will not believe me that I shotgunned

those 30 beers at Country Thunder. we're still, ugh. I hate it. We're still arguing about this? Yes, because I think that's one of the coolest things.

Were we the only two, like, I just watched you and counted. I pretty sure al henry started counting too and i know i spilled some who the hell cares isn't going to spill some of the beer on 30 shotgun attempts i don't know i'm real i don't know i can't believe they don't believe you i mean i can believe they don't believe you that's like if i was like hey I shot gun 30 beers yesterday I'd tell you to go fuck yourself There's no way

But at Country Thunder you I had such a high tolerance In prime of drinking for us Like it was Sunday to Sunday Kind of thing And we woke up at like 7 in the morning I wasn't going to be able to sleep there I would wake up from a night Days worth of drinking and not eating i went to the hospital after that one

because i was malnourished i thought i had i thought i had a concussion yeah because we were doing that bullshit slap game like hit me as hard as you can see what happens and i didn't i had a bite of a raw burger and a bowl of pasta in four days. The doctor's like, you don't have a concussion. Your body's eating itself. You have nothing in you right now. Really? Yeah. And they could see it?

That and high anxiety because I thought I was like, oh, I'm drinking on a concussion and all that bullshit. And you probably were just so hungover, you had real anxiety but like i then when i would wake up from a day's worth of drinking i would walk from the campsite i slept at three down to where we partied at with a beer and a bottle of jack daniels like seven o'clock in the morning and you're on like this is beer like 12 i'm like good lord dude country thunder it's it's something i just wanted to do once and was glad i did it once i've done it twice now. Yeah. Second time was fun, but not as fun as that one time. I can't make it back. I won't go back because it also would...

I think that first time was so fun. Oh, yeah. It would, like... Anything else would be disappointing. I slept outside for the first two days. Just, like, on the ground. No. I fell asleep on... Jack found me on the hood of a car one night

i fell asleep on the ground literally same with sam and then we had like those you know those like pull out pop-up chairs or whatever you like parents sit on yeah like their kids game there was like a giant one i slept on that one night it wasn't till the last night they're like we have an empty chair i'm like are you fucking kidding me inside the camper? That's AC good lord, I think I'm gonna have to line back up at warhead because Dude these I don't know what it is. You're probably going to hate it.

I don't know why I like these. So PBR, I used to say, fuck it, I'm never getting a sponsorship from PBR. It kind of tastes like if you melted a can and then just put it inside another PBR can. And like it's just synonymous with just that we would buy the cheapest stuff to drink so it's like overdone like miller light for a while after my 19th birthday i was like i'm just not gonna fucking touch this stuff yeah i watched a kid puke into my sink scoop it out to puke more because it wasn't going down fast enough while another guy was whispering to my mom called him the cat yeah what what was the puke thing my we had a bar sink in our basement, and my buddy threw up.

By the way, he played catch-up, so he came late. Oh, that's a lot. Drinking in the backyard, and we made burgers, and some of them didn't get eaten or whatever, and there was trash, and he literally lifted up the trash bag and goes, you guys dare me to drink this? The liquid that came out of the cans with food in the trash cans piled up in the bottom, we cut it, and he drank it and he's like i think the burgers were raw no i think you

drank the trash actually it is making me get sick like i'm getting like like imagine you picked up a clear trash bag and the little liquid the half a cup of liquid that's on the bottom that's touched everything he just i don't even want to meet this guy you know you know i don't want to know his name then chad fry i okay then he's i'm sorry you are a slum of the earth if you're doing that no he just i mean that was he played ketchup and then he got we drank way too much and the bar sink in our basement has a like. Like a bar sink, it has a drain that's like this big. It's got like the four holes. I would rather drink ketchup than do that.

That is, I think we've talked about how I'd do anything for like a lot of money. Yeah. $10,000, I don't know if I'm doing that. I don't think I could do that either. That's so gross. But yeah, the bar sink was so, the drain drain was so small it's like the drain that has like this was four little holes in it and he'd throw up into it and it wouldn't go down and so to throw up more he had to like scoop it out a bit to get like the liquid part of the throat to go

down and then uh my buddy marco was just for 45 minutes the next morning my mom goes who the fuck was the cat whisperer i go go, what do you mean? Like, if you would have walked into this basement, to the right is my friend puking and then scooping it up. My buddy Marco going, hi, meow, meow, hi, meow, for 45 minutes, apparently.

And then the rest of us playing don't drink and drive, beerio, whatever you want to call it. But apparently, I was so fucked up after the first game I did five more rounds by myself the rest of them

were just watching me I mean it was you walked into twilight zone it was something completely different these are so sticky okay you ready for this riddle

yeah you want another one you need it for this I'm I'm fucked up good catch by the way. Great catch. Jordan, love to Amari Rogers.

Alright. Alright. I come in a lot of different sizes. Sometimes I drip a little. If you blow me, it feels really good. What am I? Say that again. at first i mean what am i a pervert if i would have said penis in the first two seconds there i come in a lot of

different sizes sometimes i drip a little if you blow me it feels really good what am i i was thinking shower head but then the last one threw me off if you blow me yeah i mean how many people are blowing their showerhead though that's obviously why i said it threw me off penis so you went with what i'm dating no No, your nose. I gave you a hint. I sniffled. Oh, you sniffled. What am I, an FBI detective? I was supposed to know that?

Who knows? Who knows? That was a good one. All right. I was going to do it truly to start, which is why I got ice, but fuck it. This is your episode. Yeah. That made it nowhere.

That made it fucking nowhere. Really nice ice cubes, though. I was afraid to hit the cameras, which would be so easy not to hit them. It didn't even make it out of the garage. It just hit this mat. You basically almost had to throw it at the camera. I have to get back up and kick him out. When we're done.

We'll just let him melt. Fuck it. Yeah, I want to see him melt. How you been, buddy? So good. How about you? Not bad. Life's good.

Good. This is getting fun. This is getting more and more regular. People are asking to do it, which is kind of cool. That is cool. People are getting tattoos of it. That's crazy. so cool though it's that's cody like if one more person does it then i think it's fucking nuts i mean that was the most clear that just made me want to get that tattoo so bad get it good i think it'd be kind of funny that'd'd be like, I always saw the W, not like the bar W, but like, you know, the W I'm

drawing, is what everyone would get. But if people start getting fat chance buddy on their fucking body, I would love that. I'm already thinking about, I'll probably get it on my butt. Why not? I've been thinking of a butt tattoo. You should get fat chance buddy, right cheek, tending a lisp on the other. That is so good. True.

That would just be real weird. I would want that picture. I would want your ass framed. Yeah. I'd want a picture of it, and I would hang it up on the wall somewhere. True, it would have to be up here. You know that picture Mike Davis, I think, sent Seward? Yes.

I don't know who he sent it to. Who was in that? It's Mike Davis. And Casey, maybe. But Austin's in it. I don't know. I would want that. You over a bluff somewhere well i've got our show

advice as picture now when i went to seattle i've got a picture looking out over the mountains just with my ass out i don't know why i love that i think it's the funniest thing do you know what this tastes like what college i'm telling you right now this i think in a solo cup too you know what it feels like i feel like i paid five dollars for this cup to sit in someone's grimy fucking basement yeah that definitely has syphilis somewhere on the walls yeah oh more place than one in the hope of talking to a female but i'm with five guys from my floor freshman year clearly not gonna talk to one that's what this cup of pbr girl comes and talks to one of you five,

you're talking about it the whole walk home. Oh, yeah. Like, oh, my God. You don't even know what she looked like. It's so fucking dark down there. There's one guy in the corner dripping sweat. Like, did you just run a marathon or get out of the pool? Yeah.

By the way, PBR. I was probably that guy dripping sweat. There's your ad. Yeah. It tastes exactly like I'm at a basement party or I'm at a tailgate. The red Solo Cup can't help. That is probably 80% of it.

To be honest, I think it's making it better. Well, maybe. It's a little nostalgia to me now. It's bringing the college party. You know what I really want to do now? I want to play some games. Yeah. Fuck this podcast.

Let's just go play some beer die. And with this music. I wish I would have done this while we were while we were doing this because you can't i mean the last episode i did on my phone and you can hear it and you might be able to hear in some other episodes i don't listen to them after i edit them yeah um and i usually can't hear it while i'm editing it but but the microphones aren't picking this up and it feels more like a hangout. Just a quiet room. I'm getting giggly.

I'm definitely getting giggly. I'm just happy you're here. It's to the point now, one, happy to be here. Two, it's to the point now where I'm such a lightweight, I'll get drunk off one and a half beers. I'm such a lightweight, I'll get drunk off one and a half beers. I'm such a lightweight.

I've been so physically active the last month and a half that I think the alcohol just kills me. And I'm so tired at the end of the day now between work, practice, and working out. But I'm like, if I had a beer at the end of the day, I would be asleep at eight o'clock and i don't but i like i don't want to be that guy so like a little extra caffeine

boost do some more work or something like that but holy shit yeah i'm i definitely understand why people say i don't drink like i used to nor do i want to anymore yeah i'm so so down to get hammered and do all that stuff but if you place me into the W and I took as many shots tonight as I did normally, I would be in the hospital. I'm also in better shape, so I got less like body mass to just negate the alcohol. Which was the best. I hated the way. I did look at my pictures. I'm like, God, Lee, you look disgusting.

My face is droopy. Oh, yeah. I've got those pictures. It honestly looks just so sad. You don't got to tell me twice. I got those pictures left and right. How about Aaron Rodgers? That's so sad.

I don't even know what's happening now. Now there's conflicting reports. It's just weird. Yeah, I turned the radio on this morning in my car, and the guy was going off at, like, Schefter, maybe overdid it on the tweet. He, like, apparently made it up with no sources now. I don't know what the hell is going on.

Clearly there's a rip. Yeah. And been some disrespect. Quite frankly, I just don't care anymore like i mean i do care i don't want him to leave i'm gonna be devastated if he does and i told ryan this last week if he does go somewhere i will root for that team as long as it's not like bears vikings yeah then i'll be a little pissed off. It's like, but I also don't think he'll do that, nor does either of those teams have the means to do it.

If he went to Denver, I'd be like, cool. I'm moving to Denver then. Yeah. But, yeah, at this point now, I'm already over the media coverage of it. It's like just how about we just see what happens? How much more can we talk about it? I think so much of it's fake too. Yeah. It's like just how about we just see what happens? How much more can we talk about it? I think so much of it's fake too.

Yeah. It's just a back and forth. It really is. And the media makes it way worse than it is. Like at the end of the day

he's upset. Hopefully they're trying to figure things out. If not he gets traded. That should be the news. Yeah. I like every time

I'm at the gym it's at least one TV has something about Aaron Rodgers. Ideal landing spot. Is he in the wrong? Is he in the right? Um, potential trades. I'm like,

sports are just reality. It's like, I don't fucking care. Not to get deep. They are. But they are. That wasn't meant to be deep. As soon as that came out of my mouth.

Oh boy. I really feel like I'm at a basement right now. I can't get over it. I'm excited. I am actually ready to... This could be natty to me in natural life. Oh, my God. Not even close.

I don't taste anything. Try it in a cup. It's going to be so much worse. I can almost taste the Red Solo cup. It's a thicker red solo cup I mean dude That is 10 times worse than this

No Yes Cause I already think it's like That does taste like natty Doesn't it? Yes Yeah I don't like it

Oh my god Maybe that's why I think it's a collagen Cause it Like that's what we drank Dude Well at that what was that liquor store in Madison Riley's yes they would sell like 48 Natty lights for like 15 bucks think of that deal the bet the best deal I've ever seen was the cool light deal at tags it was 10 bucks you got a cardboard case it was just like a

like a tray basically and it was 24 beers and then you got a free four pack because it just didn't fit in the cardboard case yeah i mean we went there every thursday and every one of us got one until i mean i swear i don't know if they robbed the cool truck, but they had it for a month. It was disgusting. Speaking of, did you see the video of that, I don't know what they're

carrying money or something, but that like, oh, I saw that attempted heist. I saw just like, I didn't see the video, I saw the picture and like the glass is shattered, I saw. Yeah, that attempted heist. I saw just like, I didn't see the video. I saw the picture. And like the glass is shattered kind of. It's bulletproof glass. The guy on the left looks scared out of his fucking mind. The guy on the right looks like he gets shot at every fucking day.

The guy driving? No, you have to watch the video. The guy, I think it's, he's a black dude, right? I can't remember the video. I don't know who's driving. But the guy in the picture who is all in the red. He grabs like a smaller gun. And then, I don't know what happens.

They pull out like an AR. And they're fully ready for battle. And they're just... One, the driver is Jimmy Johnson in his prime. It is insane. And you can just tell he's whipping through these little it looks like european or like british streets the uh the clip or the thumbnail whatever that i saw it said uh new fast and furious looks fucking dope yes it actually what movie are they on now for fast and Furious Is it like 15

14 I don't even They stopped numbering them Because there's so many I swear Did they really The last one Where do they go

Fast 6 I know that's one right Yeah Oh that That was 10 Fast and Furious Is it I think I saw Fast 6 Isn't there like

Sean Hobbs now Is that just a spin off Yeah Yeah it probably is. I don't know. There are so many of those fucking movies. Dude, this is going to go so long. If I'm already at 20 minutes, this is going to be a long, long episode.

I'm already feeling tipsy. What? Yeah, literally. Beer and a half? Beer and a half. That might be my new number. No. Yes. Beer and a half. I think be my new number. No. Yes.

Beer and a half. You're tipsy. I think you're just a little excited. I am excited, too. Yeah. Last time we drank and did this, I threw up. Did you throw up that night? Dude, I got so fucked up.

I don't know what happened. Like, when we went to Cameron Morgan's, we drank more. You fell asleep on the couch. I just stayed up and kept drinking so that's what i do man if i get too drunk it's sleepy time it doesn't matter if i am oh my gosh on the moon or at your neighbor's couch i will fall asleep i i don't i do the exact opposite i'm just you stay up till five in the morning yeah it's so bad yeah i don't. I do the exact opposite. I'm just up for it. You stay up until 5 in the morning. Yeah, it's so bad. Yeah, I don't like that.

I did that last weekend. I didn't get too drunk, but I got drunk enough, went back, smoked with Jake. Oh, keep that devil's lettuce away from me. I haven't touched that shit in six months. Then I was up until 4 o'clock in the morning. in six months then i was up till four o'clock in the morning i have i had lacrosse games i needed to coach the next day at eight or nine i slept two hours i had to go get my car uber to my car drive 25 minutes back home shower change so i don't reek of booze for fifth and sixth and seventh and eighth drive all the way to franklin which is another 20 some minutes so i think i sat down for 15 minutes coached two games back to back then did

18 i wanted to die oh 18 is too much i was i mean after like all that i was like i thought i did a full day after coaching and then like most people were like oh we should start our day go golfing now and it was at noon i didn't even know you're um coaching lacrosse that's awesome dude it's a lot is it it's a lot i signed up you guys practice um so i initially signed up just to do fifth and six which is tuesday wednesday thursday what is that periods or what fifth and sixth grade i'm thinking this is a part of a school and that's like when No Uh uh No Way off

Fifth and sixth grade Fifth and sixth grade And then This is oddly comfortable Really? Do you want a cowboy hat? It kind of looks comfy I damn near want that panda hat

Who took the cowboy hats off the panda? Maybe they fell You can put the panda on if you want I can't But I already see his thing So it's Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday For 5th and 6th

And then I also coach 7th and 8th now So they asked me to help out And That's Monday, Thursday Or Monday, Wednesday So I practice Monday through Thursday

And have games Saturday and Sunday I have today off Which is when I do the recording So I practice Monday through Thursday and have games Saturday and Sunday. I have today off, which is when I do the recording. So I do the recordings, yeah. My head is so fucking big. I don't know what it is. I don't know how my mind pushed me out. Those are pretty small.

They're tiny. They gotta be. Or my head is just, my head is huge, though. You match the flag that's back there. It's a No Shoes Nation Kenny Ches back there. It's a no shoes nation. Kenny Chesney flag. It's funny.

Jake gain mentioned putting the flag up. I was like, I think it's going to look too college dormy. I'm like, well, it's all I got. So it's going on now. Okay.

I like it. It looks, it doesn't look bad. I think it'd be cool to have like a bunch of those, like those kinds of signs and license plate, just litter the wall. But yeah, I'm not going to go out and buy any of that you should just steal everyone's license plate who comes on the show yeah can i had just you only need one license plate don't you what's the rule

on that i just that's why i got weird flex but i got a new car like March and they actually... I know, you canceled one of the episodes because of it. I know. That was the craziest shit I've ever seen. I'm pulling in and this guy from Honda calls me and is like, hey, so the loan that got approved, they didn't get your like. Signatures or. No, no, no, no, no.

Like the. I'm blanking on the word now. I'm telling you, I'm starting to get drunk. But they didn't get the right like wage that I make. So, it actually my loan went down. But, regardless,

I still had to go in, otherwise they could take this car if I didn't go in. And I was going on that trip. You were going to, yeah, Florida and then Seattle. And i was back for like one day half a day and they said if i'm not if i don't come in in a week within a week they can seize my car or something i'm like oh fuck sorry kuski i don't know what the hell's

going on i completely understood it actually was after that episode i just stopped taking all this stuff completely down yeah because it was after that episode, I just stopped taking all this stuff completely down. Yeah. Because it was the second cancellation, third cancellation I had in a row. It was the month of the show where just like, I did nothing. I did nothing was happening.

I just finally was like, fuck it. I'm not taking this shit down. I just unplugged it and moved the cameras back there. I was like, the car can come in here now. I was like, I'm done.

It would take me an hour to set up. Really? And now it takes me five, 10 minutes nice so what is it just getting the uh cameras at height or well no because now i just leave them here no i'm saying before oh before yeah because then i would take the cameras off then i would take the lenses off the cameras take the the i don't even know the term of whatever's on top of the lens. So that's three pieces. Lens cap. And then, no, then I'd put the lens cap on the front and the back of the lens.

And then the cap on the camera. And then that all goes in separate compartments in the bag. Then I have to break down the tripods and shove them into their cases. And for a while, I still kept them in the boxes because I thought that was a good idea. I was like, oh, I'm just just gonna be super protective of all this equipment yeah and then i would wrap all the uh the charging cables up the way they came so they fit perfectly in the box yeah then i'd wrap all these up put this away everything's out of the way and fine like fuck it like i'm like cover those with grocery bags put it over here like dust stays out of it. It works. I don't care anymore.

I'm giggly, dude. I'm telling you. I feel actually almost drunk right now. I think you're just happy to be here. I am happy to be here. That's definitely something. But I don't know. This has just been happening.

But then it will plateau off to like 30, beers i'm kidding i can't drink like i used to no i'm totally kidding but i want another one of these so i hate try it not in the red solo cup no so i like the cameras except i've watched too much office that i just want to give like jim halpert looks like you say i do it all the time and i just want to give, like, Jim Halpert looks. Like, you say something ridiculous, and I just want to. I do it all the time. Like, half the time I'm talking to you, I'm looking at myself. Yeah. I like how I can't see that far from mine.

Look, I'll do this, and I'll glance. Like, in the Instagram clips, I'll see myself doing this. Like, I'm really into it, and I'll be like, oh, yeah, am I still? I'll, like, look. I'm like, are you still talking to him? I'm like, yeah, you fucking idiot. You don't need to look at it. True. I like these. I'm like, are you still talking to him? I'm like, yeah, you fucking idiot. You don't need to look at it. True.

I like these. I'm getting better at it, though. My lisp starts coming out way. Oh, that was really bad, too. My lisp starts coming out more when I drink. So, sorry, listeners. That's a perfect. Not the red solo again.

Yes. Fine, next one. You can't do it. Here, how would I take a sip? Mm-mm. That's not the full effect. That's the residue. It's the stuff on the bottom.

It is. It's probably the worst sip in the beer right there. It's literally half a sip, too. Hey, the ice is melting. Oh, yeah. The one cube. That is a... The one on the right is melting. Oh, yeah. The one cube. The one on the right is really like... Do you think the left can make a comeback?

No, not even close. Not a chance. Because that was crafted by Sven and whatever his damn name is from Frozen. I've never seen Frozen. One's good. I hated two. And a lot of people are not going to like that, but I hated two. Do you think there's going to be a third?

Probably. Do I need to see one for two to make sense? Why would you watch two without seeing one? I don't know. Watch one. One's better. If you skip to two, you're a psychopath. I don't get how people can do that.

I have to see things in order. You just talked about it. I know. I was just curious. Like, would they make sense? Speaking of, I'm re-watching Breaking Bad with my parents right now. Yeah. What?

That took me, like, three years to get through. It is so slow. It's slow, but the good parts, oh, my God. The writers of this show and season four. Season four is up there with the best tv in history season four is incredible i don't even remember i i don't get how people can do that like i know what happened in each season well i'm watching like everything just blends together for me yeah because i'm sure you haven't seen it in like like to be like i just i just re-watched

new girl for like the third time just to put it on in the background while I'll be on my computer. The way I view it, I was like, oh, this week's content was better than last week's content because I just have it on. All of a sudden, I'll start. I'm like, oh, I'm on season three? Didn't even know.

Yeah, but that's just background noise. That's it, white noise. That's where I'm at with the TV I'm watching. And I love watching movies and news shows. And I love the stuff that you actually have to be engaged with. But I am just not there right now. But like I said, at the end of the day, I have to go back to my computer after practice. And the last thing I want to do is have to concentrate on something else.

It takes me so long to find a TV show, too, because I get so immersed, dude. I am so into these TV shows. Breaking Bad, I'll go home to my parents' house just to watch it, like, binge three episodes with them. It's so effing good. Are you not at home right now? What? Are you not at home right now what are you not at home right now i am but i sleep at um samantha's at home as well so i sleep at her house a lot too

oh okay i was like did you get an apartment i don't know yeah i did say that weird my parents house but i mean no i get that yeah my house it's when and then when you find a show you like that's the other thing too is if i get into something, like this is just going to like take up too much of my time and I'm going to be so focused on wanting to watch that and I'm not going to get anything else done. So it's like, just put something else on. I don't need a constant, like I can leave the room. I keep needing to itch my head and I can't. With the normal hat I can't.

Just itch it, man. With the card. No, I can't. With the cardboard, it just like stops. with the card no i can't with the cardboard it just like stops um but what so with that like those shows i can just i can leave the room come back and i don't care because i've already seen it whereas if that was a show i hadn't seen before i would say i pause everything just like yeah pause leave come back on pause did you see game of thrones yeah like that's one i oh my i would rewind like what the fuck just happened i had to

watch with closed captioning i literally watched on my phone and if someone called me decline like if i see a text swiping up any alert i'm just i have my phone literally this close i refuse to pay attention to anything else uh-huh a good ass show. But that's what happens to me. I didn't start it till late. So like, I think, I watched the last three, Jesus, I went lispy there.

Three seasons. I think I watched the last three seasons live. Yeah. How many there, eight? Yeah. No, maybe nine.

No, eight. I think eight. Eight. Eight. So yeah, I watched the first five. Like I binged it and i loved it like i remember and i only started watching it because i used to be like i don't like the the folklore the dragons the knights now i'm i really like it so many people tell me too though but that show is so different that's just like medieval times

the dialogue and that's amazing like it's so much more than sci-fi dragons all that well i got into it because of a school assignment because i really yeah because i did tv film and radio throughout school so a lot of my a lot of my homework assignments were analyzing episodes and movies and shows or whatever super subjective work it's a load of shit um literally a load of shit and i just clicked on the game of thrones episode and of the list of episodes i hadn't watched the entire semester like let's try it out i'm like oh this i really enjoyed the episode i'm like i wonder what the start of the season is like or i wonder what the beginning because i thought they just

picked one out and it ended up being the very first episode of the show. I was like, oh shit, if I'm hooked after the first episode, I'm going to start watching it. And I did. That first episode is good. It was good. Yeah, it's really good. That first episode is so important.

So, obviously, but like, I think more than people think. I need to re-watch. How many times did you watch it? Game of Thrones? Yeah. Just once. Okay. Just once. think especially watch especially did you watch it Game of Thrones yeah just once okay just once uh I had a roommate I want to say Connor or someone else wasn't caught up for the last season or something like that so when we were at the house and we lived together he would

watch and I would re-watch like the last two three seasons yeah but the first five yeah i've only watched once brian said it's better the second time really yeah you probably just notice more yeah i mean there's so much shit going on i probably i didn't even understand the first three seasons fully so if i watch it again and you know the families and all that the houses and be amazing do you know what my favorite part of the show is but it also just fucks with my head is the hodor becoming hodor oh yeah yeah that it's like he's hodor because it's something in the future yeah they're so smart for that but like i still don't get it. He's Hodor because what happened while he was Hodor...

It's like this weird time bullshit that is a circle but a straight line. Might look like a loop-de-loop and pull, zig-zag, up and down, inside-out. Too many shapes. Way too many shapes. Time is so confusing. And I feel like you could just do whatever you want in a show. It's like, oh, this is how it makes sense in the show. I liked it. I was like, that was really cool.

I thought it was so cool. What was your favorite part of that show? I'm going to go so white girl status here and pick the most common answer. But the Night King, the Long Night or whatever, I think it's just because it was so built up to. But it was like me, Heilman, Charlie, and maybe Gane all watching at um the hub everything pitch black yeah tv to 100 watching it live and i don't know if it was i heard so many complaints about like it was too dark and stuff their tv was perfect so it was amazing oh that episode was yeah it was it was dark and i've seen the whole show to be honest, was very dark.

But this TV was, like, bright enough to where I understood, you know, you're not going to have the Nightwalkers or whatever be light. Yeah. This TV was good. Whatever. That last song. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do.

Oh, my God. Wait, is this the one where Iostar kills him? Yeah. Spoiler. That, uh... Oh, yeah. Fuck. Sorry. Well one where Iastar kills him? Yeah. Spoiler. That, uh... Oh, yeah, fuck. Sorry. Well, if you haven't seen it now,

you deserve it. That would be my number two. That would be my most, like, jump out of my seat. Because I literally, when that happened, she jumps at him.

Big spoilers now. Yeah. Grabs her. Yeah. I mean, I was in Miami watching with Sam. Pitch black. Same with you. I'm sitting on the couch.

He's in this beach chair he's got on the floor. And I'm gripping the couch. Yeah. I mean, that's the peak of the show. And when you see the knife drop, I swear to God, before the knife hits her hand i am i mean i'm in the air i got hang time yeah i didn't hit the ground until it went yeah and i lost my shit and that was just the peak of the show like that was the build-up the fight against the white walkers no one knows what's gonna happen and i swear everyone in america and damn near the world was watching that show at that time.

Oh, yeah. So many people. However, they didn't explain a lot of shit. I know. So at the end, like, why are they coming? What are they taking over? Yeah. Is it just like good versus bad?

Why are they there? Yeah. There's so much. I know they didn't explain a lot, but. And the fact that we're going to prequels afterwards. I'm excited for those. Are you fucking kidding me? I gotta be honest i hate that

and i oh i'll watch those i think prequels are just as bad as movies that are based off real life stories for the most part no prequels are always better i swear monsters universe because i know how it ends well you know how it ends but then it tells you the different story of how you got there the sequels are with stuff in my opinion sequels are normally trash because they can't replicate or tell a different story as well as they told the first one whereas prequel you can tell a better story building up to what you are i get the point of them and i bet i would still be interested in it but for me it's the equivalent of starting a book at chapter two like why not just start it at one no you're reading

fair enough i'm not wrong it's also why i don't like um sports movies that are based off real life events. I know how this ends. The start of the movie, I know how this ends. You hated Miracle. It's not bad. I didn't mind Moneyball. Sports movies in general,

I'm just not a huge fan of. It's hard to get a good sports movie. Miracle is amazing. I think Moneyball is pretty good. My favorite is Space Jam. Space Jam. Space Jam. It's a damn good... Are you going to watch Space Jam 2 then?

Yeah. That's going to be... I think it's going to be terrible. It's going to be so fucking bad. I'll probably watch it too, but yeah. I actually like the idea. I think it's kind of cool that he passed in the torch. Like that was such a big movie.

Yeah. And LeBron gets it. And if anyone was, it makes sense. Yeah. Him or Kobe kind of thing. Yeah. Um,

well, but I don't think Kobe could really film it, but no. Oh, good Lord. I think I like, I saw someone's opinion where it said, I think Space Jam, because it doesn't

necessarily say it needs to be basketball if it was, if they did Tom Brady. Yeah. Tom Brady gets sucked into the Looney Tunes world, has to put together a crack squad of Tweety Bird. You can't make it the same. But you know it's going to be exactly

the same. No. know it's going to be exactly the same. No. Well, they already have... What is the difference? I just... I saw the trailer probably a month ago now. Right when it came out. They are like integrating like Pac-Man and Donkey Kong. Yeah, yeah.

They're integrating all that stuff. But it's... That's just like fluff. The general concept and the story arc is the exact fucking same well what do you want it to be the exact same but with Tom Brady

yeah it'd be a little different it'd be a football game you're telling me you're complaining to me about how you don't like movies when you know

what's gonna happen but you want the exact same sequel I didn't say this is gonna be the exact same sequel no plus Pac-Man that's it you've got Exact same sequel. This is going to be the exact same sequel. No.

Plus Pac-Man. That's it. You've got the Looney Tunes playing football, but the same thing happens. Tom Brady stretches his arm 60 yards for a touchdown. They're not going to do the exact same thing where Tom Brady's golfing with Charles Barkley, and all of a sudden he gets sucked into a rabbit hole. No, not Charles Barkley. He's golfing with Terry Bradshaw. No. a sudden he gets sucked into a rabbit hole. No, not Charles Barkley. He's golfing with Terry Bradshaw.

No. You love that movie. Yeah, Terry Bradshaw does that. No, but like all I'm saying is I like the concept of, hey, maybe we don't keep it in basketball. It's already a big problem. Like LeBron didn't deserve it, blah, blah, blah. Why not just give it to the undisputed go to football? I don't know.

I'm getting too worked up in the balloony tunes right now. You got me yelling. Yeah, I think I spit all over. I did spit all over this microphone. I'll clean you guys. Don't worry. I actually won't clean you. Let's be honest.

I know exactly which one's mine. You guys get the taped one. Yeah. Well, that's the way it should be. Exactly. My show, your episode. Yeah. Here you go, peasant.

Dance, monkey, dance. Oh, good Lord. Yeah, this really is feeling like college because I'm kind of... The beer's starting to warm up a bit and i'm starting to know god that sounds brutal i'm telling you though i i'm fully tipsy right now are you really yeah i'm not i do notice so when i do this is when i drink here i might i think because i'm excited doing this i do get a little buzz a little quicker that's what it is it's like when you go to an

ever i swear everyone will back me on this when you go to a restaurant and get like a ipa or a beer at the restaurant you have two beers and you have the best buzz ever i would go to hopcat in madison i would get two beers every time walk out of there feeling like a king but I was still like weirdly tipsy off two beers I mean it's paired with excitement so it's like it's just a bunch of maybe that's it I don't know is excitement a new drug

yeah I mean you mean happiness yeah it's kind of cool I'd love to be high on life yeah I get it if I drink I drank hard alcohol in here once with, fuck, I don't even know who I forgot who I was with. But at the end of that one, I was like, holy shit, I'm drunk. I had like two drinks. It was Jack. It was Jack's episode.

And I remember Jack left to pee or something like that. And I did one of these pee time monologue And I was, I remember, Jack left to pee or something like that and I did one of like, these like, pee time monologue things I was doing. Yeah. I was like, dude,

you're slurring your words. It's crazy because I gotta pee too. You had two drinks. You need to pee right now? Remember that one time I went in the evergreens back there?

Yeah, go pee in them again. It's a light out. I don't care. I do. I think it's the white walls in here too. The white walls make you pee

It gives me the insane Asylum feel And I think I'm just starting to go crazy I really need to get shit on the walls No not make me pee Make me feel more buzzed Oh you're just antsy I mean you got more stuff to look at

Than I do I mean I love the decor man Really? The storage, the bath tissue from Costco Two things of water I mean you're acting like this isn't Basically this is how I lived Throughout college

This is what my room looked like Yeah Is your room cleaner at home now? No So the way you're still living now yeah and the room i have at home is so you would walk in there you would slap down a hundred dollar bill that there is a seven-year-old living in that room i have a race car bed What Race car bed No that would be That would be sweet though But I've still got my

Eagles helmet wallpaper Donovan McNabb fat head I got like trophies from when I'm young Tons of Real mood killers Oh my god Real mood killers Sam you want to come back

Rather not look at Don doing that while we're sleeping together. So damn true. It's literally a seven year old's room. Also, super pumped you got seventh place in the track meet. That's probably literally what I took out of seven too. Yeah, that poor girl. She's such a saint. I don't have a lot of trophies

from sports i have like gymnastics ones oh they're all like participation oh yeah and one third place i used to do it and then the whole you ever play uh little league baseball i got uh every year everyone got a trophy it was the start of the participation generation yeah he was like congratulations for playing here's a plastic trophy yeah you're just gonna put your one He was like, congratulations for playing. Here's a plastic trophy that you're just going to put on your wall. Gopi, Gopi, I don't want you doing the pee-pee dance.

No, I like doing the pee-pee dance. I mean, we're here for another at least 30 minutes. Yeah. You think you can hold your piss in for 30 minutes? Mm-hmm. Do you want another beer? I'm 7 tenths full right now. Oh, you just knew that by two taps?

Yep. Big construction guy. Big construction guy. Huge construction guy. That'd be 3 fourths of an inch. What are you measuring? i don't know yeah construction's kind of fun though you just talk with the boys listen to some country sometimes dude you're all in sheboygan though that sucks that sucks it's shit but it's work

it's it's hard to find work sometimes you just get shipped around you know company to company Are you are you least taking like company vehicles up there? Are you driving your own car? Yeah It sucks. Yeah And I've been doing it for a while now probably like six months But at least traffic isn't as bad with kovat where everyone's working at home. It's bad. No, it's bad again Super coming home today. It's oh, it Super bad? Coming home today, it's bad. I usually come home around 3, so I don't see it as bad.

Yeah. I'm 43 south, too. That's terrible. It is. It adds now an extra 30 minutes. That's why COVID was so nice. Oh, yeah. You're in the actual time it takes to get there. Yeah, it's awesome.

But, no, it's far. And it's like, I have to fill up twice a week, putting miles on my car, but we're going to Milwaukee soon, so happy days. That's nice, yeah. When I worked in college, when I worked in Mequon, I probably should show you yours. I probably should show you yours But yeah when I

When I worked That freaked me out That freaked me out I'll like occasionally look To see the cameras on I saw the back of it Because I didn't flip it towards you You thought the whole thing

I thought the whole thing Was off on yours I was like I'm gonna fucking kill myself My god I had that problem We would have had to just leave And do it

I just would I was like We're done We to fucking kill myself. I had that problem. We would have had to just leave and do it. I was like, we're done. You and I should never record again. Jesus Christ. I just had a mini heart attack. I can't get anything to go fucking right. Cody's episode the last 20 minutes just gone. Ryan's, you can hear music a little bit in the background. Randomly, it was just gone?

So, Cody's, I was so cold that i just like we were like just like let's get inside yeah that i instead of turning the cameras on just unplugged them holy shit that scared the hell out of me watch the cords finish my sentence you just walked the middle of the shoot finish your sentence idiot like every time he walks you morning and it's 7 42 at night because i just say morning i'm like why why don't you just say hello yeah but yeah what was i saying no i just unplugged it instead of turning the cameras off and i figured i was like oh that'll just tell the cameras to turn off i guess it didn't the last like chunk of video gone it was just

it just says corrupted file so the way these work is after 20 minutes, it breaks it up. So then it starts a new 20 minutes. It'll record continuously. But on the memory card, it's every 20 minutes. It's in sections. So I won't have one clip. Thank God. Because if it was one clip.

Yeah. And then I just turned it off. It'd be all gone. The episode in which she tattooed her fucking body. God. I'm like, oh, whatever whatever i'm doing the potty dance go the bathroom do you think i care my brother just walked through the middle of this all right i think i got sleepy eyes i don't even know what's going on dude you have you've gone you're on a roller coaster of emotions. You're like, I'm pumped to be here.

I'm a little drunk. I'm going to plateau. I'm pee-pee dancing. I think I'm sleepy. I'm done. Yep. Pick one. What was your, because I never applied, what was your game plan for tonight?

Because you called them the Greendale coaches. Greenfield. Greenfield coaches. Jack and Joshendale coaches? Greenfield. Greenfield coaches. Jack and Josh's dad coaches at Greenfield right now. Football. Oh, there's a football game right now? Yeah. There's a football game?

Yeah, it started at 7. I looked at my watch to check the date. Actually, that would make sense. It's the 7th of May. How is there their football game? They switched it from fall to spring because of COVID. Oh, interesting. Actually, I should know that.

Josh talked about it four weeks ago. They're 4-1, and they're playing their sixth game, and this is their final one of the season, which sucks. So we're going to go meet up with them. Yeah, I think they're going to Classic Randolph. But it's fun. Oh, Randolph. Oh, that's where we always go.

Right on Grange, yeah. I got to get the cartoon t-shirt on. Oh, this dude's so horny. What's up? It's kind of chilly. It's so horny. It's so horny. I miss the horny.

It's kind of chilly. It's so horny. It's so horny. I miss the horny. All right. I need another one of these. And then we got to think of something else. Not in the red solo. Why not?

Because it tastes better without it. Yeah. I'm telling you, dude. When I start drinking, my mind is just run amok. I can't think of ideas. We've basically just been chilling for the whole episode but i love it i mean i i mean i used to write stuff down when you and i did this i haven't written stuff down oh kind of i wrote stuff for cody's thing and um

whatnot i okay i did write one thing down really yeah i actually wrote aaron rogers okay and um dude i i can't remember did i ever tell you my skydiving story did you recently go skydiving no okay then no a while ago i never told you about this maybe i don't know so i went skydiving with my sister it's technically my half sister and her dad um at east troy and dude scariest thing number one it's so exciting yeah if i had to go again and have the choice like i know it's more expensive other places but it was a lot less cool to look at like farm fields than it would be like the ocean or especially where it's summer warm it was like middle of some summer and it was still kind of cold falling okay um oh yeah you're moving pretty fucking quick you put your hand out of the car like wow i like the breeze you jump out of a

fucking plane you're like, a little chilly. You couldn't even feel the cold if you were falling. But more when the chute's pulled and you're just sitting up there. It's cool. Okay, okay, okay. But it would be so cool to do it in some beachy, tropical place. Anyways, that's my advice. Anyways, we went.

One, the scariest part, hands down, my feet are on the edge of the plane you know they have those big uh sliding doors yeah my feet are on the edge and you're sitting i'm going tandem which i highly recommend because if you you can't go by yourself with a few jumps you need to do like i looked it up because it's a dream of mine to jump out of a military plane to the song fortunate son and just fall backwards before i die and you need to do like 20 to 50 jumps before you're allowed to go by yourself really so they changed that you used to not have to do that you'd have my dad went by himself for the first time first time he had a six hour class one i was like yeah I don't want to do that class. Hold on.

I would suck. Talking about things we wouldn't do for money, that is number fucking one. That's not number one for me. Number one. You want to jump for the first time jumping out of a plane. And wait until you hear this story because that's still not number one. If they shoot didn't open, I would fucking cry. But anyways, so scariest part, hands down, your legs are sitting over the edge of the plane.

And the dude is just like, all right, three. And you're looking down. You're so fucking high, dude. I forget how high it is. It's like 13,000 feet or something, 10,000 feet. You're so high. It'd be pretty lame if it was like 200 feet. Everything in your body is telling you, like, get the hell away from this edge.

Three, two, one, go. This guy jumps out. We're free falling for about nine seconds. Then all of a sudden, we start tumbling. I'm like, what the hell is going on i feel this sharp ass tug and it feels like my hamstring just ripped into a billion pieces miami is in so much damn pain all of a sudden so there's like a um dude you gave me the giggles there's a chute that opens to like stabilize you yeah and then that is attached to the primary chute um and then there's obviously the secondary chute but this little stabilizer chute is attached

to the main chute that got the stabilizer one got wrapped around my leg when we're freaking free falling we start tumbling towards the ground i'm pointing at my leg making sure this guy behind me knows hey like he doesn't know exactly exactly as we're tumbling hey buddy um there might be something wrong here he had to cut the main chute and use the secondary one so i only got to free fall for like that quick it was probably actually like four seconds we tumbled for like probably 10 seconds i'm thinking i'm dead this guy cuts the main shoe pulls the secondary we're fine we slowly fall down and this is what i mean by cold we put because you're not supposed to pull that high obviously we were up there for probably 20 minutes just slowly gliding on i'm freezing but

one my hamstrings pulled apart two this guy you're alive for number two two this guy tells me um once we hit the ground he's been doing this 20 years first time this has ever happened to him holy shit yeah good thing he's prepared yeah and they do like five jumps a day also i like how bummed you are like we only like we're free falling i'm pissed i want to go again like we're only free falling for like four seconds i'd be like thank the fucking lord i would didn't free fall for the entire fucking time obviously that's my first thought but i'm pissed i didn't get the full effect because that's the coolest part. You're supposed to free fall for like a minute. It's crazy. I need to do it.

I need to do it again. I, when I was about to graduate high school, I got to pee so bad. Where's your bathroom? Go to the bathroom. Go outside. Outside? Just watch out for the children. Get this, man. I'm about to get a public urination. From who? Your neighbor. Just watch out for the children.

From who? The average age of the people here is 70. And that's because we're 20. It's going to take them 35 minutes to dial the number. And it's only three numbers. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got nothing I mean I know this is dead space But I really

I got nothing I'm not even thinking This really does taste like Natty Light In the thing I gotta pour one quickly Before He makes me drink

Out of that fucking can. PBR, maybe it's the can I don't like for you guys. I think it's a cool looking can and I'm very nostalgic with it but I think it's the can. Maybe just your aluminum or whatever. I think it's aluminum.

Tastes like shit. The inside, not too bad. Put it in a cup. Feel like you're back in college. You know? With about 5% chance of talking to a woman and 100% chance it's not gonna work out. In a dingy...

Dude, those basements were so fucking gross. Why did we ever pay $ dollars to get into those places I wouldn't pay a dollar to get into one of those places now also it wasn't even someone's house you knew but 90% of the time it was someone's house that's like oh I have an address.

It was a friend of a friend of a friend, and someone on your floor got it who wasn't even friends with them. Like, we're just going to go there. You pay $5 a cup, and now you see one person you know. You don't know any of the girls there. It's fucking stupid. I said nothing. Don't worry about it. I used the cup again.

How old am I? Why did you use the cup again. How old am I? Why did you use the cup again? How old am I? 24 years old in a cowboy hat peeing in the neighbor's bushes. Talking to a microphone in someone's garage. Oh, my God. Would you change it? Never.

I hated that though. Why? Peeing in a bush? Basically. You're going to pee in a bush till the day you die eventually not like this one last time i peed i remember it was freezing there was much easier access into that shrubbery out there i'm getting poked by six i basically just put my head forward into this big bush acted like i was covered and then started peeing well that house

over there is abandoned so you're fine so no one lives there yeah that would have been great to know beforehand the only issue is like there's like 90 kids that run around here yep yeah oh my god does this actually work the nose and the foam thing because it's doing nothing it's supposed to be a normal finger i think but i'm not sticking my finger in the drain. I thought it was like you do the nose oils. Maybe get a pop of blackhead or something, toss it in there. Nose oils.

Nose oils. How are you and Sam? We're good. Ryan said you guys were getting serious. I was a little worried you bought a ring or bought a house we're talking about moving in though that makes more sense

an apartment didn't think it was a box well not a house but yeah it's just time to get out of the rents house and it's time but yeah we're good good good good good I'm glad i was there when it started

and i didn't even know where the fuck it was that's what i was gonna say actually five days yeah five days till eight months how crazy is that it's only been eight months it feels like a longer time feels way longer than that way longer than that i feel like when we well that wasn't when we met i don't know how long it's been probably like a year damn near no not a year 10 months from when we met with you but eight months um officially dude i'm going on I want to say 8 years not having a girlfriend dude

there's the droughts man it's good though I mean it's not like I haven't talked to a female I understand I don't think I was mentioning it like that I have not had a significant other in 8 years.

Like a legitimate boyfriend. Like, I'm your boyfriend. You're my girlfriend. Are you thinking about moving to Denver? Yeah. And to summer. Are you? Yeah.

It's in your head. It's planted the seed. Oh, yeah. I was supposed to move last March. And then this weird thing happened. Like pandemic thing. Yeah. You know, I went there two weekends ago now and yeah they're a bunch of like so it's just you should just come out here like i want to um and then i was like i think last time before i was gonna move i gave myself a deadline i said end of february um i'll go and it

was on the car ride down to nashville last time we went or i went with you that i had the the job thing happened and then i just couldn't my flight got canceled because of the pandemic so i didn't go um but like having a deadline helped so they gave me August 23rd. I either need to know I'm coming down for sure. Who gave you a deadline? Friends. I was like, give me a date. Just give me a date. One of the guys I met down there, Chris, he's like, August 23rd.

I'm like, all right, cool. And it gives me time to finish lacrosse here and whatnot. And I'm trying to get Jake to come with me as well because he wants to go down there. That would be fun. Plus, I could enjoy the summer here. The summers here are nice. They are very nice. They're amazing. It's like the three

and a half months it's actually sunny here. Which is so depressing. It's still so damn cold. I'm cold right now. It's so cold out still. I think just because of the show I put this on. But I might put the long sleeve back on. It's cold. I'm cold right now. It's so cold out still. I'm kind of, I think just because of the show I put this on, but I might put the long sleeve back on.

It's cold right now. And that does suck. But Colorado would be awesome. I've also, I've looked into Austin a lot as well. Dude, Austin would be amazing too. I've never been there. Which are like the two places everyone's looking into right now.

So it's not like I'm unique in any way uh whatsoever but it's a reason but but yeah there's a reason everyone's living there and there's a lot of entertainment happening in austin now like the idea of moving to la disgusts me it's you would you would i would hate it i would hate it i think is the cesspool of a five years ago i wouldn't have minded it dude it's it sucks. But now, I could do it. Also, I mean, I like being outside. I like having...

You can have outside in LA. But like, not as much compared to like, I can do more in Denver or... Oh, there's nothing to do. I'm telling you, LA sucks.

Take it from a person who has been there. It is so crap. That's probably my least favorite city in all of California. I looked into San Diego for like a hot second. San Diego's awesome. Yeah. San Diego's really cool.

But, I mean, that was a year and a half ago. I looked in there. And I'm like, that'd be cool to go there. What was this? The last couple episodes we've had a dog try and run in here. Oh, I would love that. Well, like, it's a neighbor's dog. I'm like, hi, Penny.

Hi, Penny. And they're like, hi. Can we say? I'm like, no. Like, if she actually, like, looked under the hood of this, she'd be like, what the fuck is going on? I'm like, just a softcore porno. You want to leave? You know.

Softcore. Come on, Penny. Just your everyday Friday night thing. I'm like, you guys look like fucking idiots. Like what could you possibly be recording? Like just us explain, like explain a podcast to someone who doesn't listen to them. And be like,

why do you do it? Like we, I don't know. I said, it's like the, uh, the radio, but you can listen whenever you want.

Yeah. That's a good comparison. It is. I like it. Talk radio. Yeah. Talk radio. I mean, technically, I guess we have music on. Just no one can hear it. listen whenever you want yeah that's a good comparison it is i like it yeah talk radio i mean technically i guess we have music on just no one can hear it yeah you probably get fined for that i did and i don't get fined you get copyrighted so you can't make if i was making money off these videos yeah right now i couldn't make money off any video that was copyrighted. So the beginning of like four videos

ago, you hear a song and it's like me dancing and the song's playing and it said copyrighted and had the artist, whatever, like they knew it. It's kind of weird. Copyrighted this. Where did that pop up? On YouTube.

I had a flag on my video. The video still plays or whatever they're not going to get rid of it um and to be honest if i would have left it in uh it wouldn't make a big deal because obviously i'm not making money on that video um but just to get in the habit of it there's like this weird beta thing they have technology like we can get rid of that audio for you i'm like go for it because i don't know how the fuck to do it i just clicked on i was like it might take a day i was like i don't care just get rid of don't get me sued please get rid of the like the red stuff that's on my video right now i don't yeah i wouldn't get sued either if anything it's like if i'm not making money off

the video i would if you were making money i would get sued if i would. Well, I just couldn't make it. So, like, I couldn't make... So, if YouTube... I don't know a ton about it, but you have to have a certain amount of subscribers and listens a month to be a part of the YouTube paid program. Meaning, like, they can start putting ads on your videos

and stuff like that. So, if ads wouldn't go on that video meaning they can start putting ads on your videos and stuff like that. So if ads wouldn't go on that video, because then I would be making money from those ads, but I would also be using their song. So then I could get sued. It's like, you're making my money kind of thing. Exactly.

But yeah, it's not a big deal. There's no... We did give a nice shout-out to PBR today, though, and we're wearing all the bud light stuff so maybe one day maybe one day you'll get sued could you imagine i'm really hoping for a lawsuit i want to get our retainer lawyers that oh my god men in black just walking like hey give me give me the case no yeah looking for a lawsuit trying to get canceled like you know just give me the case no yeah looking for a lawsuit trying to get cancelled like you know

just give me the checkbox of entertainers why not why not cancelled that shit's so bogus so bogus also what are you

I okay I was saying about this before you came here what are you cancelling just like the person all their success that's what I think yeah but

okay okay I get it but also i guess a weird thought they say something controversial let's say you say something yeah on a left field you don't like women um i love women um and then women cancel you. Yeah. Okay. But that clip went viral. Yeah. No one's stopping you from just putting shit out constantly. The perfect example, dude, is Morgan Wall.

And okay, no one's stopping you from putting shit out. And to be honest, if you keep putting shit out because you're saying this heinous shit, people are probably going to keep watching it. And I bet there are some people out there they're gonna pay you to keep talking dude like some people are just not gonna lie some people are just bending over morgan morgan wallen um obviously got canceled for saying the n- word ever but caught on a ring doorbell random ring doorbell hammered it's not an excuse but it just sucks sucks for the guy who has already been i mean

he probably should have learned you know stop drinking whatever not even the point um he got canceled his streams actually went up like 45% or something after that video. Yeah. Probably by some crazy redneck weirdos, but it's not. We're like, I love that you fucking said that word, man.

No publicity is bad publicity, but any, here's how you get like canceled. Anything that he's putting out Instagram, whatever. It's going to get shut down yeah i don't even know about shut down but like the comments are gonna be ruthless the comments gonna be ruthless they're not if you're working for like a label like a label is not gonna put

anything out because they don't want to be associated with it i get the idea of being canceled but i also get like you you have a phone. If you're well known, you still have a camera. I get like it's public image and you don't want to make it worse and worse. But theoretically, you can just keep doing what you're doing. Yeah, but they don't want to make it worse. Because I'm sure if he gives it time, releases some music, he'll have labels. What do you think is the time limit on the N-word? Oh, wow.

That's not a good word. Not at all. No. That's about the worst word he can say. It is. Time limit? Time limit? He needs crazier shit to happen.

And I think this is from The Office too. Kind of similar. Michael's making up the lies because he tells Stanley he's having an affair. So he starts making up lies. Basically giving the impression that crazier stuff's going on. Morgan Waller needs crazier and crazier and crazier news people will eventually forget that it even happened yeah mike vick dog fighting great example this guy but he also needs but mike vick dog fighting michael vick also has like dog foundations

now like yeah well kuski i don't know i don't know what foundation Morgan Wall is going to have. Why? Yeah, true. But why the F wouldn't he? Like, that's. Yeah. That would be the dumbest thing ever not to. That's his team and whatever saying, of course he's going to be supporting dogs now. Yeah.

But he had the dog fighting. He's all of a sudden good at sports. Got really good for the Eagles. People forgot, you know. Well, yeah. What I'm saying is he needs to just be in quiet. Yeah. For stuff like that. He'll be quiet for a little bit.

He'll release some music. It'll probably be amazing. Michael Vick was only quiet because he was in jail. He was gone though. That's another crazy story though. That dude was gone. Did you see he just ran his career he just ran a four what seven two forty yeah something like that he's 40 or something he's 40 something

and that's the same or better than almost every quarterback in the nfl right now yeah like he's as fast as mahomes and lamar yeah lamar is way faster now. Maybe Patrick Mahomes. I think Mahomes is the... I can look it up real quick. That's something. I really need a guy and a TV. But it's got to be a bozo. Dance monkey dance.

Yeah, it's got to be a dance monkey. It's got to be a bozo sitting on a computer over there in the corner. I think, don't take this the wrong way, but you would be hysterical over there. After I say bozo. That's what you're going to get. That's why I said don't take this the wrong way. But let's be honest. How am I supposed to take that the right way after I say bozo?

But let's be honest. If I was talking to someone, and it was just you and I every episode, and I'm talking to someone. I mean, I chime in with great stuff. Exactly. You would chime in all the time, and you would just start

pulling shit up to make me laugh for one and i think you know if i start talking about michael vick you would you'd google michael vick right away yeah i didn't mean that in a bad way i mean it has a compliment i don't care it's funny michael vick, didn't talk. Mo Kyle. No, Pat Mahomes 40 times. I know. I'm thinking they're all going to come up right now. 40 times. Comparison.

Boom. I can tell it's cold because my thumb's moving really slow. When you listen to country music sometimes, doesn't it just make you want to go full country and live on a farm? And I get that a lot, especially when the weather's warm. I wouldn't say this long sleeve's going on. I wouldn't say full on farm. It depends on what type of country I'm listening to. God's country.

Blake Shelton. And you're driving through the fields of white water. I want to. Blake Shelton. And you're driving through the fields of whitewater. I want to just go plow. I want to put a bullet through my head. Oh my God. The fields of whitewater? Dude, that is the most underrated drive of all time. The drive to whitewater is incredible.

I've been to whitewater twice in my life. Once was for a football camp when I was younger. That doesn't count. The other was for Spring Splash my freshman year. I woke up with the cold sweats on Marco Martinez and Austin Myers couch.

I went home the night before. I was trying to someone was like you should hook up with this girl who's never mind. And I was like, I woke up, I was like, get me the fuck out. I go, take me back to my Madison dorm. Not that I was like, Madison's way better. I'm like, you know what the worst was?

The worst was like, when I got there, oh, I will never forget this. I brought a case of beer and a handle or a water bottle of one of the two of Captain Morgan. And we're like, spring splash. It's darting. We're going to all these parties. I'm like, this is going to be so fun. Where do you want me to put my stuff? And they go, your backpack.

And I go, you can go kill yourself. Like, are you kidding? What are you talking about? She goes, put it in your backpack. And I go, you can go kill yourself. Like, are you kidding? Like, what are you talking about? She goes, put it in your backpack. We're going to carry it to each place. Yeah.

Wait, I'm supplying everything? He goes, they didn't bring anything else? He goes, no, no, you,

you bring the booze for each place. Like, just that you're going to drink. I go, there's nothing there? Any party? And they go, no.

I go, white water? Then what the fuck are we doing like who's what what is what's you're not hosting anything yeah you just opened the gates to your house that is this is just different pig pens we're walking into yes literally herding of sheep that that place though is so still had fun but i was like it's so No one wants... Who wants to party with a 30 rack on their back? Well, freshman year of college, that's damn near the way it was. That's what you had to do at Whitewater. Maybe not Madison. Madison, they greet you in on a...

No, we just paid $5 a cup. A rhinestone table. No. Here's your champagne. No, it was $5 a cup and then have two drinks and go home because you didn't know yeah true but whitewater people from whitewater they could out drink anyone in the country i'm pretty sure i would say w groupies probably could no oh you are so wrong on that it's not even funny there's a you you you you regulars yes you you actually you you employees

i promise you there's a difference between having 15 beers tonight and hey i had four mixed drinks three beers and 20 vegas bombs dude white water you don't know you don't know what you're talking about i did it once i get it one's freshman year does not count. Whitewater. They drink a lot of lacrosse. Do they? Yeah, I went there once too. The one time I went was, sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off, but my buddy Joel,

he's like, come visit. Came freshman year. And this is when I was like, I want to go see everyone's colleges. Didn't go to anyone's colleges after that um and he he was like doing the lacrosse team thing and they had like because it was team led not coach led like we had um they had lacrosse initiation hazing and they're like yeah you were just we're going to the lacrosse like party tonight and i go okay this will be cool. And Joel just started getting hazed. I'm like, what the fuck is happening?

And then all of a sudden, I'm getting hazed. I'm like, I don't even go here. We're playing drinking. That's how I got introduced to most of the drinking games. I know it was there. I was like, holy shit, this was a lot of fun. But they put them back. And I didn't have to carry a fucking backpack around.

All the beer was there when I got there. That's how it works, man. You pay for your own. I do pay for my own. No handouts in Whitewater. Anyways, what was Pat Mahomes' 40 time? I'm really curious, though. Hold on.

Do you want me to look it up? Okay, so Vic ran a 4.3-3 when he was drafted. That's so fast. He ran a 4-7-2 at 40. I know it. 46-year-old Terrell Owens ran a 4-4 allegedly. Yeah, right. What was that time by?

Some random person. Justin Fields is a 4-4-5. Mahomes, 4-8. 4-8. Okay, yeah. You, I don't know. How'd you get that so quickly? Siri.

Siri? Siri's incredible. I feel like I don't use Siri enough either. But I don't. 4-8. So Michael Vick ran a faster 40 than Patrick Mahomes. And he's 40. That is wild.

Yeah, some people are just gifted. Well, I'm sure Patrick Mahomes. And he's 40. That is wild. Some people are just gifted. Well, I'm sure Patrick Mahomes isn't too jealous. Marco Martinez. It's like he heard me say his name. He has not texted me in forever since we did this episode. He's asking what I'm doing tonight.

That is nuts. Yeah, it is. We can revisit this topic because I know we've talked about it. Are phones listening to us? Oh, yeah, easily. I appeal to the masses, so I'm immune to COVID. But I'd like to go places eventually, so jokes. Not really.

I'm fucking Superman. No, you're not going to get it. So immune to the disease, but I went and got my first jab two days ago. After I got home, showed my mom my sticker. And she's like, how are you feeling, whatever? I'm like, I'm immune. I'm Superman. Don't worry about it.

If anything, I'm going to be fucking stronger after this. Yolked. man, don't worry about it. Like, if anything, I'm going to be fucking stronger after this. Mm-hmm. Yoked. And my phone was like, hey, would you like to add a COVID-19 vaccine to your profile picture? No. Hey, yeah, it was a bunch of, like, Instagram, Facebook. I had a Snapchat thing. I don't even know how that works.

And then because Cody fucking followed herself on my Twitter, I don't have a Twitter. Like, I have a Twitter, but I only follow Cody Gaster now. I'm now getting notifications from Twitter. And it's like, would you like to add this to your thing? I'm like, what the fuck is happening? Yeah, that's so creepy. I didn't say anything.

I was just like, hey, I'm here. At Walgreens, I pointed to the sign. I was like, I'm here for you. She goes, I got you. That's it. I didn't say vaccine at all the entire time i was there what about when he probably when he came home with your mom and stuff then it probably just popped up it's creepy dude this is a lot it's i mean it's creepy it's so creepy i have to pee so bad now can you talk into the microphone while i'm gone yeah i gotta pee again too i broke the seal okay we'll take turn let me where are we at we're at 122 ipup final thoughts and it will go all right yep talk baby talk um the human head weighs nine pounds um bears can climb faster than they can run

chameleons can camouflage with the color that they're on some octopus octopi can bury themselves in sand and basically dig themselves a tunnel to get away from prey. No, predators. The mantis shrimp. I forgot that fact. A golden eagle once picked up a seven-year-old kid. Hippopotamus kill more people than sharks every year. He's getting a package.

Oh, Chick-fil-A. DoorDash. That looks good. You might have to just munch it. No, kidding. How long before Andrew comes out like, where the fuck is my food? You'll have a notification on my phone when it gets here, right? It looks good.

It smells good. What is it? Chick-fil-a. Chick-fil-A? Chicken. Chicken. What'd you talk about? I just gave animal facts. Go pee. Do I have to pee inside the house?

No, I don't have to go now. Did you like full on Schmidt and just like piss inside yourself? Do you know what I'm talking about? Did you just pee into you? Schmidt is so funny. Yes, I don't want to talk about it. Still got it. If you...

Oh, God. Oh, I had a question. To be honest, if I feel like I resemble any character in any show, it has to be Nick Miller. I fucking love it. Nick Miller is awesome. He's my favorite.

And one day it works out for him. It takes him fucking seven seasons, but... Nick Miller is awesome. Oh, good lord. Give me your closing thoughts here. My closing thoughts? Or a question if you had it. I would love the question, but you're not going to remember it.

No, I'm not going to remember it. And I had it in the car today. I mean, it's just like a general question you can ask anyone. It's super dumb. But to be honest, truly, I was so happy when I woke up that morning and you're like, hey, can I be on this again? I thought it was time. I was so excited.

I was like, fuck, yeah. was time i was so excited i was like fuck yeah you did tell me after you canceled you owe me two so i will be begging that true um you for this can come on whenever you want i like this is i think because we started it like this this is so easy for me yeah and i don't have to like pull teeth with anyone i don't have to be like what the fuck are we gonna talk about and you laugh and it makes you make me laugh which is which is awesome like it's i find it hard for like a lot of not in a bad way but a lot of people do not make me laugh just from being stupid and silly or whatever. You can.

I don't know what it is, but I giggle all the time, and I like it. So that's it. Giggling's fun. It is. I love being giggly, which is why I like being cross. I'm giggly right now. I don't touch weed anymore. That's how I get giggly, though.

Give me a little drunk, smoke a little weed, and then I'm talking to myself. It's fucking hysterical. No, no. a little drunk, smoke a little weed, and then I'm talking to myself. It's fucking hysterical. No, no. Dude, the demons that come out when I... I think I... I don't know.

I took like one hit of something. That's the one time since I'm pretty sure Brooks Cabin, which we talked about. Brooks up north, where I took that edible. Yeah. That's how hard I tweaked. Never again will I take a full one of those. Holy shit. That's how hard I tweaked.

I took more than a full one. Yeah, I will fucking die that's at my cabin I passed out back to back nights I was just like I'm going that is top 10 most like internally embarrassing moments for me in my life and no one knows about it

it is literally me when Brooke shows up and me grabbing her at the fucking sting pong table we're like we're fucking 12 again playing sting pong and i go i had a moment it was just like i've gone and then moments of like clarity and i grab her i feel great she looks and she goes i'm glad and then i then i was outside and i don't remember how i got there dude Dude. Yeah. I don't want those. I don't like it.

That stuff sends me on a different planet. I don't know why I've been doing this in this podcast. People are going to see it. I find myself like, I'll start talking to my hands up here. It's up here. It's like, I'm done talking,

but my hand stays up here. It's like, dude, just put it down. Put it down. Do you have any, anything you'd like to, I am so happy to have done this again. I love the cameras.

I wish you the best. I really think you will eventually become a Jimmy Fallon. It takes time. All the greats, it takes time. And yeah, I'm just so happy to be back. I was craving this. I was super excited today. Isn't this fun? I feel so happy. So fun. This is why we started. Go pee to be back. I was craving this. I was super excited today. Isn't this fun?

I feel so happy. So fun. I mean, this is why we started. Go pee. Go pee. We'll end it. Nope. All right, I'm good.

We're done. We're done. This was Tending a Lisp. Thank you for joining us. Oh, yeah. That might be the only time I...