Fat Chance Podcast - Ep.16 - Brad Lachman and Scott

Episode Date: June 2, 2021

Drive by eggings, Cats at the bars, Aliens and the Paranormal.

fucking worst it's uh i'm gonna have to get used to having this up here today um no it's it's it sucks having to just like i i just live this yeah and then do it again i feel so naked right now so naked you gotta like having this up start off the podcast with like a banger like a song and i was just i was just Brad an edible and be like, good luck, buddy. That would be amazing. And then like intermissions. You talked about it. Should we do edibles when I come on?

I'm like, yeah, we can do edibles. We'll save that for a later night. I was like, I have a few 10 milligrams left. We can just split them. No, Andrew left. He was like the ice delivery guy last time. But I was like, yeah, maybe we just have him deliver edibles halfway through. He comes out on a plate.

If I took, I can't do edibles. Well, I can, but I mean, I'll start talking. The bar stool underneath you. Oh, yeah. That's great. He comes out on a silver platter. He's like, what the fuck? Oh, this is so good.

Thank you for saying Landshark, by the way. Yeah. I was so happy when you said change your mind from four loco. That was like a joke, and I thought you'd be like, oh is so good. Thank you for saying Landshark, by the way. I was so happy when you said change your mind from Four Loko. That was like a joke, and I thought you'd be like, oh, fuck you. And then you're like. See, I thought it was at first, and then I was like, what if he just wants to get nuts for the episode? I'm not going to turn that down.

I do. We do. We drank before. Yeah. So we drank a little bit. That's why we went to my place before this To have a few drinks To get warmed up I was gonna say We could do like one

Oh I already started But we could do one Just to loosen you guys up But if you're already loose That's fine with me I'm okay I'm ready It took me

It took me fucking forever To get this I went Down the street is Target I'm like alright What are the chances That's why I was like You think Target has four logos?

No shit. They don't have four logos. It's just in that cooler section, just like right when you're at checkout. Hey, do you want a four logo before you go? With the monsters? Yeah. It's like the mountain boos and shit.

And then, so then I was like, all right. I went to the beer section. They don't have it. Whatever. Turn around. And I leave. Put my card away. I go to pick and save down Moreland. I'm like, they have't have it whatever turn around and i leave put my card away i go to pick and save down moreland like they have to have it they have a pretty good beer selection walk-in

cooler they have to get there nothing i'm like well i don't even have my wallet on me i left in the car i'm like fuck so i go back to my car drive to sendix which is across the street start feeling for my wallet i go where the fuck is my wallet i'm like god damn it call my mom i'm like hey can you check the garage see if my wallet's on the bar stool if i just left it before i left and uh she goes nope not here i have motherfucker my guard it's at target go to target all the way back sorry and i go to the guy that's like doing the car so i go hey man do you see a wallet in the cart? He goes, I don't know. Do you want to check it? I go, obviously, I want to check the carts.

You're like, no. I'm like, and I also like, you just watched me go through all the carts. I'm either that weird guy who's just looking at carts or I'm looking for something. I'm thinking you were going to stop me. I'm like, hey, man, were you looking for a wallet you lost? I was hoping you would say that. And I went up to him like, have you seen one? He one he goes no you want to check customer service go let me just retrace my steps real quick there's a bunch of people over there i don't know why i would have

just like dropped it yeah don't find it go to customer service i go hey what's the off chance someone turned a walled in very recently they're like uh probably pretty slim no one's turned anything in here for a while i go okay they're like well what's what's recently i'm like i was here 10 minutes ago like what else means what else is very recently like this past month yeah like three four days ago i'm like i mean we can check and i'm like there's no way you have it and they fumble with the keys she goes goes, I mean, I doubt it. It's just this old one. I go, that's my wallet.

Michael Cusky goes, this is your wallet? I go, yeah. I go, I'm sorry. It's from eighth grade. You have the same wallet since eighth grade? Since eighth grade, yeah. You had a duct tape wallet? That's the bigger story.

Yeah, you made it in the home room. I've lost it multiple times. It's right here. I've lost it. It's gone through the wash multiple times. Holy shit. I got my, I hate how these shorts don't have pockets. But, yeah, it's the same wallet.

Oh, yeah, it's teed up. Whoa. But it works. And, like, I want to get a money clip or something like that for it. But I'm afraid it won't feel the same in my pocket. And I'll, like, think I'm losing it all the time. Have you seen Braxton's wallet? That thing that, thing that flips up?

Ryan Kuzma. Jesus Christ. Camry, bro. She interrupts anything. I swear to God. She doesn't lose. Real quick, we just started the podcast. If you two could not text us, that would be great. I wake up in the middle of the night with her.

You guys want to hang out while we do this? Bro! What the fuck? Yeah, come on over. We'll have chairs for you. Yeah, tell her she can't talk to her, though. They're literally coming to hang out. This is going to slowly turn into just people pre-gaming in the garage before we go out,

which I'm fine with. We have to change the title of this podcast to The Pre-Game. Yeah, it really is. I mean, hopefully I get other people that aren't my fucking friends on here all the time. Which, by the way, what was it, three episodes ago? I was like, I don't know who Scott is. Now he's here in my garage doing this. We were just talking about that in the car because we were like,

you said you just, yeah, because he brought that up. And then I was like, you were with him until 5 a.m. last week. I see him here and there throughout the past couple years. Next thing you know, I'm with him the past three weekends. Yeah, but it was like – I love that shit. I think the weekend, I was like, I'm sorry. I have no idea who Scott is.

Yeah. And then three weekends in a row, we're hanging out. Yeah. I'm like, all right, well, I think it's about time you come on. Yeah. Then I just want to give a little shout-out to fucking John, because that was on John's podcast. Yeah.

He goes, oh, Brad's friend Scott. Yeah. Then I just want to give a little shout out to fucking John, because that was on John's podcast. He goes, oh, Brad's friend, Scott. And I watched. I was like, wait, the last 12 years mean nothing to you? What the fuck? Yeah, you're referencing his boyfriend. He's like, I really don't want to be associated with him. I just talked into the beer and not the microphone. This is going to be good.

This is going to be good. So who's coming with Camry over here? I'm assuming Ryan Cause he texted me first Oh sure Yeah They know we're doing this Like you know what would be a good idea?

Let's call them in the middle of it To be honest It's probably them already here That would be insane They're like hey we're here actually I wouldn't doubt it to be honest But I should have a

I think I saw her peeking through there Like 30 minutes ago Did they start yet? She's already upstairs You got start yet? She's already upstairs. You got a key? She's technically – she has an episode with Morgan. I was going to ask you, is this your first – I was going to say threesome, but then I was like I probably shouldn't say that because it's three guys,

but you know what I mean. It will be. Wait until later, but you know what I mean. All male threesome. No, I did a threesome. No, I did a threesome. I guess I had a threesome with Morgan and Cameron. Hey, good for you. Not as fun as three guys, though.

No one really knows about that one because I haven't aired it yet. Wow. Pornhub here soon. Oh, nice. And then, yeah, but there was, I did theirs in their apartment when they were talking about like flat earth and shit like that. Oh, I remember about that. But it looks so

like i mean it took me for i was sounding like before how much these cameras yeah i don't know about them yeah and so one camera just turned off i'm like so it's i look so nar i mean i already have my own show so very narcissistic it's just not you the whole time it's just whole group me whole group me the whole time, fuck. I edited it. I'm like, whatever. But I don't need to release it yet. I don't think that would look too bad, though, if it's the whole group. Like, if it was just you the whole time, and then you hear, like, girls talking in the background.

I'm like, dude, you don't want to see these guys. Beat. Showed up, no makeup, pajamas. No, they, uh. I don't like the setting we did it in and it was because it was still really cold outside i need to take this off um so we didn't want to do it in the garage yeah but i really like doing it in here yeah and i like the where'd you do it before here it's always been here me and braxton did it like i would set this up but no cameras just these two microphones my

computer and no cameras and we just like once a week would come in here and just talk at each other yeah i listen to those like if you just walked in here like what the fuck is going on people do still walk in here like i guarantee the dog might come in again like all right can we say i'm like no it's like thousands of dollars worth of shit in here the dog's gonna knock over now i saw one of your podcasts though that was more recent that was like in a basement or something and it looked a little bit there's two of them it's either gain or chad fry i know gain so it must have been chad yeah yeah but i don't know yeah i like this vibe in here the vibe like the vibe in here is very nice i want i think steven is gonna build me a backdrop which is nice your brother yeah so

you don't see all the trash back here but at the same time it's not bad um but yeah chad's basement looks pretty good it's just like i feel it it honestly feels like if I got rid of the cameras, it's just us three drinking before we go out. Yeah. Which is awesome. Yeah. It's so fun. It's great.

That should be the goal though. It should be something that's like weird. You know what I mean? Yeah. I don't want to, yeah, I don't like the over the top production.

Like I'm never going to be the guy that goes, all right guys, welcome back to the Fat Chance Podcast. My name is Mike, because today's guests are Tweedle Lee and Tweedle. This episode is sponsored by honey.

Just to cut through there quick. No, but that is what's good about it. Use my promo code. We don't have a sponsor. Soon enough. Soon enough, yeah. You've always wanted a podcast though, right? Since college.

Yeah, yeah. Since college. I always thought it would be fun. I like talking. yeah you've always wanted a podcast though right or you've got yeah yeah since college i think before i always thought it'd be fun i think i just i like talking and clearly i haven't shut up since you guys got here so we'll let you guys talk one i mean 10 minutes before getting here i was yapping my mouth off i just say that right i mean me and brad have been talking about starting a podcast for like five years now yeah I haven't done it just haven't I told everyone that wants to do one you have access to all this equipment as long as I'm not using it and I would produce it for you and then you'll be our sponsor yeah there you go we'll just I'll be the parent company and yeah everyone will just be underneath fat chance

studios yeah that would be sick have Have a little 30-second ad. I already have one in the works with one of my buddies who wants to do political stuff. And so, Michael, if you're listening to this, Michael Toth, I haven't heard from you in a month. I gave you a camera. Possibly ghosted. I gave you a camera.

I mean, there's like several, like about $1,000 worth of equipment I gave you. I better see something here in the next week and a half. I mean there's like Several Like about a thousand dollars With equipment I gave you I better see something here In the next week and a half This is only ten minutes Into this episode So I know you listened to

At least that much of this show That camera got shipped to Europe For fifty bucks He sold it on eBay or some shit He bought a thirty rack of bush I had a good weekend You'll never hear back Nope I think that's like that's

cool though because that's you want to do this like like career wise right yeah right this stand up all that stuff yeah yeah i did have you done stand up like have you went somewhere to do it yeah yeah that's crazy that was uh yeah so last, that's the reason I didn't go to the burger game. Okay. Oh, okay. So in Josh's episode, I told him, because they asked me, why aren't you going? Yeah. And I said, and I can say this now because this will air after I go to Denver, but I said, I have to, I had like a quarter life crisis last week. Right.

And I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? Like, I've wanted to do this my whole life. Why haven't I done it yet? You have no excuses. Right. So like, I was like, what the fuck are you doing? Like, I've wanted to do this my whole life. Why haven't I done it yet? You have no excuses. Right. So, like, I was like, just do it. Because, like, obviously it's nervous, like, nerve-wracking to start it. But some part of me that week was just like, I was so excited, wasn't nervous at all, and it felt so right to do it.

Yeah. And I was like, I wasn't even, it felt like I wasn't even controlling my body the whole week. But what are you doing? Because I don't have, like, controlling my body the whole week but what are you doing because i don't have like any backstory on that like what are you going to denver for oh okay so yeah so part of the other half of that was a few weeks ago i went to denver and one of my good friends connor i have two very close friends that one is a very good friend in like a loving way, very supportive. He's like, this is great. Like you've been doing like making good advances with like the entertainment stuff.

And then there's Connor's like, I'm happy you're doing it. But like, step the fuck up, dude. Like this is bullshit. He goes, you could be doing way more. Commit to something, blah, blah, blah. And so he turns 24 next week, Thursday. And I was like, all week, Thursday. Um, and I was like,

all right, fuck it. I'll go do it. I had someone take a picture of me and I'm like, I'll just give it to him for his birthday present. I'm like, all right, that'll work.

And so that's the only reason I didn't say it on last week's episode is cause that will come out before his birthday. Okay. This will come out afterwards. So hopefully, I mean, there's a good, a fair chance he looks at

and goes i don't give a fuck but at the same time i was like hey i hope you know you're part of the reason i was like oh finally feel like i'm doing way more yeah that's sick and it was dude it's so fun it's so fun i mean i don't look forward to the day i completely bomb but well dude just to get that little push from one of your friends, that thing just keeps twisting. That's not Landshark. Yeah, I was going to say, why is that? Okay, so that's the other part of this. It's going to have to pop.

I went through three. I can bite it. I went through. That's way easier and safer. So I did the target, pick and save, Sendix, back to target, and then Sendix again, only for there to be one 12-pack of Landshark. Do you want to grab the rest of the Landshark and put it in here? Yeah, we'll stock it up.

Yeah. I mean, I figured 12. Now that I know you're coming in hot, 12 might not have been enough, so I'm glad I got the six-pack. We got Miller, we got PBR. We'll make it work. Look at that roll. Look at this.

And so now you guys are officially part of the barbecue. Oh, yeah. You were talking about that to me. So all this is just like that's left over. We'll be here for the barbecue. Oh, yeah. Plus more. You told me about that.

We're sitting at A-Bar, and you're talking about how you have like the first 16 episodes or whatever for the barbecue. I do. I barely remember this A-Bar. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We were all dirty, but I was just like, so when are me and Brad doing the podcast? You're like, hey, whenever you want.

I was like, so when's the 16th episode? It's like next week. I was like, we're getting on. We got to hop on. We got to get to that barbecue. Dude, it's crazy, too, because two weeks ago, Josh texted me, and I've been meaning to get Josh on. And right before I even thought about texting anyone for the week, he's like, hey, do you have anyone?

I go, I do now. I know we talked about getting you guys on this week. All week, I've been swamped. I was like, all right, I've got to text one of them here soon and get it together because it was fucking Wednesday. I'm like, get it together. Then you shoot me a text like, hey, man, just trying to plan ahead. I was like, are we doing it this week?

I didn't know when we were going to. I knew we were hopping on. I was like, because I have an episode banked and there's no urgency right now. Yeah, it makes sense. It just didn't pop into my head right away. Right. But the episode, like, I don't know why there was an urgency because the episode banked is for next week when I'm gone. This is where I can't do it on a Friday.

Where are you going next week? Denver. Oh, yeah. So that'll be fun. where are you going next week denver oh yeah so that'll be fun um but i mean for us that the reason it worked out perfect because i i was telling you like the next time we can do it is like june yeah it's a while and i did not want to wait because that barbecue would be next spring i mean are you guys seriously booked till june after this weekend yeah yeah i mean not like together but we have like seven things like yeah i mean after this weekend yeah yeah i mean not like together but we have like

seven things like yeah i mean we gotta figure it out i mean i'm not gonna plan the barbecue around you two no no we'll make it but it's i mean it's gonna be fun but yeah i mean this is just like everyone's episode it's kind of cool to see like in order who's all been here right um yeah but we have like flip-flop plans and it it's just primal to be on a Friday where we can obviously hang out after, so it works out now. Oh, it's perfect because I have so much fun doing this. Coming off like this, it's such a high, and then you just close the computer and be like, all right, see you guys.

Especially on a Friday. That's not how my brain computes. There's not a snowball. That's like the first thing I texted you. I was like, can we go out after? Yeah, I was like, obviously. That's how how my brain computes. There's not a snowball. That's like the first thing I texted you. I was like, can we go out after? Yeah. I was like, obviously. That's how this works.

I mean, it kind of has to happen. We usually cut it off because I'm like, I either don't want to edit or I want to go somewhere else. Yeah, exactly. And this is like, you know, you post the little clips on Instagram and stuff. This will be the most interacted with. So you think back to high school, you'd be like, if you don't like this video, you hate your mom. You hate your mom. Like it right now.

He's not even looking at the right camera. I bet. Alright. You know what's awesome is the way they're clipped too is when they get to Instagram, it shrinks down. So I'm really hoping you both fit in it when we're done here. Otherwise, it's just going to be his face and your voice in the background.

And your arm coming in and pointing. You hate your mom. You hate your mom. Fuck you. No, but that's the way to do it. You know, guilt tripping into it. I'm all for it. I'm all for it.

Yeah. I mean, I have to do better at the social media stuff. I have a plan. I think I'm finally going to fall victim to TikTok. Oh, yeah, bro. I think you should at this point, though. Well, my plan with it is just post the clips that I think are funny voiceovers

and just have people like, all right, just reenact whatever we're saying or talking about. Or you could do the you hate your mom bullshit or I have the PBR thing. I'm like, all right, do do your own ad to that pbr clip or there's one from last week's episode where i just go have you ever gooched anything he goes yes i go never and he goes vodka rum together like that's awesome same here though you've never gooched never gooching i put some what the fuck does that mean like going into summerfest and stuff putting a fucking oh yeah you've never done that never

what no i always go to like like obviously you've been i know you went to miami for a while yeah obviously you went to festivals and stuff i worked ultra yeah so but like you abide by first of all when you go to ultra there isn't beer tents or they know what's up at ultra people are tripping balls yeah so it's water tents red bull tents and then like two beer tents are they know what's up at ultra people are tripping balls yeah so it's water tents red bull tents and then like two beer tents for the entire festival and they're both michael of ultra oh okay so so water and i don't i'm not a big drug person so i was like oh i guess we're drinking michael of ultras the whole fucking time yeah um but in high school i also didn't drink really in high school sure and then when i when I did start, I put, I had like, my equivalent was like, I would have boots

on and I could just like flatten a water bottle and put it in my boot. Yeah. Um, but I never felt the need to shove a water bottle between my ass cheeks and my ball sack. I've done it like more times than I can count. Yeah. Oh, I, almost all of my friends have done it. And I just was like, all right, I think I can find someone who will buy me a beer there. Dude, I remember one time going into Summerfest.

We were, like, you go into the port-a-potties before, drink some of it, and then put it in your pants quick. And Avery, my girlfriend, was like, she gave me a full-ass water bottle. Like, you haven't even cracked the water bottle. So I put this in. I'm like, I can't. That's, do you know what that would look like?

Like filled up. I'm like, I can't do that. That looks like you are really lucky girl. I'm holding that right there. It was like, wow, I'm not gifted.

Like that's what's not going to happen. That's like a once a week kind of deck. Not a, the guards, like you're your medical problem. Fucking pack. Egg, I'm gifted. You got elephantitis down there?

You have no idea. You want to see the water blow out of this one? I was like, that just can't happen. You either got to dump it out or drink something. Dude, that was also a problem too is when you came with a full water bottle, realize you can't gooch the whole thing. And then you just have to hammer it. And then you hammer it.

And no wonder, like, I'm like, all right, where the fuck is Jacob? Like, oh, Jacob's dead in the bathroom. Why? He just had half a handle of dragon fruit smirnoff or whatever the fuck it was called. The berry berry. Dude, dragon fruit.

John, if you're listening, that's all John would drink. Fuck you, John. Dragon fruit and apple pie mixture. Yeah. Like, hey, Alyssa, that's all John would drink. Fuck you, John. Drinking fruit and apple pie mixture. Yeah. Like, hey, Alyssa, why is your tongue blue? Like, well, I just drank a gallon of UV blue. UV blue.

And Gatorade. Oh, God. He's like, oh, well, I'll see you throwing up later. I'm like, no, it's a good time. Don't fuck yourself. We have six hours left in the night. It'll be a good time. That's crazy.

You've never done it. I've never done it. Never done it. Well, I guess, technically, I guess the only time I really ever did it was like the end of high school.

When else would you have goosed something? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Obviously, last year there was no festivals or anything. Yeah. Then college,

like, Oh, only for some pretty much. Yeah, it was only for some of us. I know people who would do that. Or to get into...

Like, if we went to Country Thunder, I believe people would gooch stuff there. Possibly just because I didn't know what the rule was on carry-ons. But I was so, like, properly messed up. I was like, I don't need a water bottle of vodka. Or like Tim Lee Park. The two 24-ounce beers I have are going to do me just fine for this hour concert. It depends on the atmosphere.

Yeah, because you didn't make it in for any of the openers. Yeah. It's like, hey, we've been drinking since 7 and not p.m., okay? I don't need a handle of vodka for two hours for the concert. Yeah, it is kind of overkill. Especially with Summerfest, it's like you go there at like 7 and you stand in one spot and you cannot even

leave to piss because that spot is surrounded by thousands of people. Dude, if you, when it gets to like close to concert time and you have to pee,

you either give up your spot or you just piss in a cup because once you move, that line closes before you hit the ground. You come back, your friends are gone. They're like two rows up somehow.

There's random people in your own spot. Where the fuck are you guys? We're at a different venue. We've been here for 12 hours waiting. We're seeing this for a completely different artist. They're girls at the other place. Good lord. You just accept that stone for the next day.

Pass it through. Good lord. I'd just be like, fuck it. Just take it. Dude, that's so funny. I'm glad i've never gooshed i just i also can't believe more people didn't get caught doing that like how did you not make noise just like how did you not sound like this stupid close dude the funniest shit though there was one incident where i was walking in with our friend bobby and um i don't know when it was it had to be like senior year of high

school and he had one gooch and I did too. And he went in and the lady, dead ass, you couldn't see anything. And straight off the lady's like, you have something in your pants. And he goes, how would you even know that?

She's like, take it out right now. I'm calling the cops. And this dude walks past her, gets his, gets his ticket scan and fucking sprints, bro. He sprints for so long. That's the same exact

thing happened to me. Because the guys in front of us got... I think I was with Braxton. They're not gonna catch you. This group of guys the same age as us all got caught because they just had it sitting out. You can clearly see it was a bottle of pants. And then she thought we were with them, so she was like, where's

yours? And we were like, I don't have anything Yeah, she's like well I'm gonna get a police officer to come like pat you down and we just that ass Sprinted through like didn't scan my ticket. I ran through the gate and ran Yeah, what do you get there's that do anything if there's that many people they're not gonna do anything to have were you guys there that We don't have to do that How I was in height you guys are by the way two years younger than me or one year one year one yeah

your brian's greater yeah yeah yeah i always get them confused um so we're both in high school remember when imagine dragons came to summer fest i mean i think that is the busiest that place ever been and i came late from a graduate. I got offered Coke my first time ever. Really? Yeah. The first time I was offered in college. It's fun, bro.

Dude, I didn't do it, but... Have you ever? 17, no, I haven't. First time I was offered was last year at Trinity. But people were like, what the fuck is going on here? Our house in college,

we would have people over and there'd be random people coming in and our bathroom, I'd walk in my room, Mitch, you know Mitch. Yeah. They'd be just doing coke in our bathroom we're like you guys i mean we don't even know you first of all second of all do you see all the like vertical like lines that are kind of like torn off this table that is from credit cards just scraping shit together but yeah no that was like speaking of just masses of people going in they broke the gate down i'm pretty sure that day and people just walked in just like everyone ran

like i remember that line because there was someone else playing too yeah i mean at the actual i don't know but i remember getting there i'm like i'm gonna find my friends when i got in i was sitting behind the saz's building, which is behind the Miller Light sign. I'm like, you're in the water. You were in the lake. Dude, I was sitting on a slide eating a mozzarella. I was like, well, this is going to be real fucking fun. By myself.

It was pretty lights. You remember that? Yeah, pretty lights. It's good. That was at the Harley. And like, imagine, I think that was the same time. What a different time, though, dude. It was fucked up.

Just packed for a magic drink. Can you imagine that now? Yeah, isn't that weird the government would come to wisconsin if that happened tomorrow yeah or like if that happened three months ago i wish i wish i could go get sweaty there would be helicopters imagine this no covet or anything if that happened tomorrow the government's still coming because it's imagine dragons bro what the fuck we're doing? They haven't made a song since 2013. Why was that a thing?

That is crazy. I got one of their songs on my workout playlist, and it's remixed with Lil Wayne. What is it? Radioactive. Oh, okay. I remember. I mean, that was their song.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Hey. That was it. We all went there. And then it hits 10,000 people went to Summerfest To go to

I know people I remember I had friends Front row to that How many people are here now Were you here yesterday Did you have to hide in the porta potty Just to get in line right away 12 hours in line

They brought a can of soup or whatever Oh yeah 12 hours in here What were we talking about before that I don't know Aliens Do you fuck with aliens Tell me this

Real question Yes absolutely If I could talk No no all action real question do you like do you believe in ghosts no no i don't i don't i don't want to talk about ghosts i have two questions for you what the fuck okay so you know how like the government's been unveiling aliens yeah it feels like we did take no listen there's like They're like showing... The ones that are breaching the water? Yes, bro.

Yes, dude. Listen to this. The one thing John... Hold on. The one thing John texted me, he said, make sure you bring up the June whatever. The June bug.

The June 6th news report about aliens coming out that they're releasing. Like some... John's full of shit he said bring that up tonight I think we talked about aliens on his or whatever I love talking about aliens I want them to be real I would love to have one right here one day you know the one that's breaching the water

that video I don't know what that is I haven't seen that I've seen all like little like snippets and clips of whatever. I haven't watched the full video or read any reports on it, but I know there's more and more coming out of them above than coming out of the water, like on and blah, blah, blah. It just made me think.

I haven't seen any of that. It just really got me thinking. It's like, you know how we talk about UFOs and saucers and stuff, and we're like, oh, that's just like a ship and aliens are on it? What if that is the alien? Why doesn't anybody ask that question? Wait, hold on. Say that again.

I was trying to reach over. People are talking about UFOs and aliens. Aliens are boarding it like, mihoi, mihoi, like fucking driving that shit. That's fun. What if the alien... Mihoi, mihoi, yeah. The guy with the pencil, too, you just erase him? That's what they What if the alien... Me hoi, me hoi, yeah. The guy with the pencil, too, you just erase him?

That's what they're trying to do is just erase him. They are. No, but what if... I wish it would just happen. What if the UFO is the alien itself? There's not people on it

or aliens on it. Oh, so we're getting deeper into the conspiracy. Yeah, yeah. So you think it's not a ship. No, it's like a space squid. You think the flying object...

Oh, wow. Yeah... A space squid? It'd be like the equivalent of an ant looking at you and be like, what if that's a ship? Yes. People in my brain going like that. The ant's like, oh, it's a ground squid. That's crazy. The UFO is the alien.

Everyone says they see UFOs, but no one's ever seen... Other than Bob Laz, which is... Because everybody just pictures that shit. I like it. I like it. Fuck Bob Lazar. All my homies, fuck Bob Lazar. Fuck him. I don't fuck with Bob Lazar. Yeah, I don't really either.

He's trying to get a quick check. He's a narc, dude. I'm as smart as Bob Lazar. Quick check. He's been saying that for like 50-some years. Yeah, he's sticking to the script, man. And he's made no money off it. I'll say it for 15 years, too. What if a UFO was the alien? They're going to have this on a Netflix documentary in 10 years. That's kind of true, though.

Yeah, what if that is the case? Like, it's, they just. And they're just, like, taking, like, work Tahiti to them. They're just taking a dip in the Pacific. They're a space squib. They're trying to get some octopusy bro i don't know how long were you working on that one before this literally that was off the rip that was off the rip dumb i'm sorry no i don't know i'd like to think

if i think it's a bigger problem if that is just a straight up being rather than a ship yeah that's crazy flying through these did we go through all the land sharks already no no there's gotta be like two or three more yeah by the way what'd you think of this i thought it was good it tasted like uh uh estrella jalisco it kind of tasted like a corona to me but like i think it's kind of in between land shark and corona yeah it's definitely skunky yeah like, I think it's kind of in between Landshark and Corona. It's definitely skunky. Yeah. No, that's true.

It's not skunky at all. But I mean, there wasn't even six packs of Landshark. It's good though. I kind of like that. I was so pissed. And when you guys said 601, I'm like, I got 10 minutes to get home and finish setting up. No, I thought you were like, come on. No, I was like, holy shit.

Yeah, you're good. You usually have ready to go and I'm waiting for 15 minutes. Also, I usually have music playing. Why don't we have music playing? Dude, that's what I'm saying. I'm still beating myself up about that joke. I swear that was off the rip. I believe you.

It sounded like you had it written up in your notes on your phone for a while. This is such a well-known show. Basically what I'm saying it kind of makes sense though like not physical beings but we sound like we're we sound like we're really high I just watched

too many tiktoks it really sounds yeah we like country hey favorite band Midland oh yeah I heard about it that's yeah we like country also if hey favorite band midland favorite band midland yeah i heard that's what front that's what john said we have we have midland and land shark together yeah no wonder he's like you really should get to know scott yeah i love midland there i said land shark in my defense here did you really i thought oh i was gonna but i like midland also so okay and i'm glad we're doing this yeah tor, first time. True. Fuck that shit up.

Yeah, we had it in Toronto the first time. What a weird place to first have Landshark, eh? Oh, I thought you saw Midland. You're talking about

the first time. You know the first time we had Landshark was in Toronto. Yeah, because I was like, this is my favorite beer ever. It's just light.

I'm not. It's light, easy. It's not like. I don't think I'm ever going to be the guy that's a beer snob. No. I drink because I like the way it makes me feel.

And occasionally the way it tastes. But let's be honest. Most alcohol sucks. Yeah, it does. That's why when you said, what if I can't find Landshark, I said, dude, pond water will work. But it's also a good thing it sucks because if this was apple juice and it got me fucked up, I would be dead. Yeah. It would be over.

True. But, like, if you're also deciding between, like, if you have it on the shelf and it's, like, Bud Light or Landshark. I mean, Landshark is going down all day. I just wish they came in bigger packs than 12. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. It's a little bougie, like, action to it, you know? It's not. But it's not.

It's actually really cheap. It's actually really cheap. It's actually really cheap. It competes. Their six-packs are actually cheaper than most six-packs. It's like a step above domestics. Whatever. I almost said craft. Craft is way.

I think they're legit coming over, by the way. Jimmy Buffett. That's right. Yeah. Jimmy Buffett. Shout out to him. We got the. Sorry. Yeah. Jimmy Buffett. Shout out to him. We got the Kenny. Hey, Jimmy.

Rest in peace if you're dead. He's very much alive. Oh, really? I bend it once for the bars. You can't say. I said if you're dead. I said if you're dead. No, I said he's alive.

And you said, really? He's probably close to it. No, he's very much alive. Very much alive. Good friends with Kenny. We have the Kenny fly, the Kenny hat. Great vibe. Great guys. You said really he's probably close to it. No, he's very much alive very much alive We have the Kenny fly the Kenny had a vibe great We're loving on land shark dish like digging on Bud Light. We have the Bud Light thing on the wall But we're in Wisconsin. It's raining and it's like yeah, we're near there talk about an islandy beer, but Little paradise near oh, that'd be though. It's like we're in Louisiana. It's our own little paradise near.

Oh, that'd be fun. Just get like a sandbox in here. Yeah. That would be sick. And like a beach lawn chair. That would be sick. You should do that. Maybe that could be a, the first 16 episodes are a cookout. The next one is like an island theme.

We'll just fill this place with sand. Have a luau. Yeah. Oh, someone roasts a pig? Fuck. I don't know where we're getting a pig. No idea how we're going to roast it either. I have this thing.

I don't think it's going to fit. We just have a bonfire and put it over it. Just wasted a pig, though. My 80-year-old neighbor's like, what the fuck is going on outside? Guaranteed cops would be here. I mean, the average, I mean, that's like that's like 90 85 88 and then like 12 and six 12 year olds got a mortgage yeah people would look at them like what the fuck is going on someone is performing a ritual in our driveway kids are singing some songs around it yeah we're

dancing around the pig around a lukewarm pig. Dude, it's not even getting... Why isn't it cooking yet? Well, you have one... You're doing it with a lighter, first of all. They look like a big... Everyone brought a big... Camry's blowing a pot. Scott always says a big, though. He's a big... Someone's throwing matches at it from the back.

Like, I got this, guys. It'll start. Big, sick guy. Dude, that's like good you know how like in movies and stuff you all have the stigma for somebody yeah like mine is like Scott smokes great yeah it's like dude I never smoke it's alright I'm the guy who talks to himself in the garage so well you're not talking to yourself but it's better than the sick guy yeah You know what I mean? Hey, if you get me. I never spoke sick, bro.

Kidding. I'm kidding. I'll tell you what's good. You know what's going to suck about this episode is when I go through it, I write down what I want to clip. I probably have 15 in the first 35 minutes. That's good. That's the goal. And I think about it as we're doing like that right there might be the header of this Instagram. I swear to God I don't

do that. I don't do that. He just has it in his pocket for fun. Because you know when you're walking on the streets, it's like, yeah, shut the fuck up. And you give it to them. That's it. That's why I got one. You're the guy asking for the grit though. I got it on the way here. Hey man, it crushed it in my pocket.

I was from the Uber driver. I'm glad you guys drank before this. Hey, man. I was from the Uber driver. Good lord. I'm glad you guys drank before this. Fuck, I kind of wish I did, too. I'm going to have to. Yeah, you got to start ripping. What do you want to do? You want to do one of them tornado swirls shits or whatever?

I'm a terrible chugger. Yeah. It's terrible. I can shotgun a beer, but very poorly. I can put a lot of alcohol into my body. I wouldn't even say I'm proud of it. But I can't chug very well. I don't have friends that can put it down in like two seconds. It depends on

the day really. Like what you're eating, what your taste buds are at. I didn't eat much today. We took a shot of tequila at his apartment and I was like... You had like two beers. We're talking shots. Yeah, we took shots as well. Yeah, I was like gagging at that which i never i like tequila but no do you ever have the days and uh the kid i'm visiting connor

in denver him and i would have them we'd look at each other like dude i feel invincible today yeah like a yeah the morning of like a festival you're going to or in college like hey we have our like for us again it was hit bar and like you you wake up you feel good like you're like all right i'm prepping i didn't go out the night before like or i only went like out half the night worked out a little bit i feel good like right now yeah no i'm feeling it right now yeah i feel like iron man i feel like we should do something we're gonna regret i'm all for it'm all for it. I can, hey, I have a... Let's do a backflip. Let's learn how to backflip.

Yeah, let's do it. So the next 45 minutes is going to be us breaking our necks. We're spotting each other. I got it. But I swear to God, him and I would look at each other like... One person would go, dude, I feel invincible today. And we're like, fuck. All right, so you're going to be

an absolute liability. Yeah. And I think it was, he said it more. He was like, dude, I'm feeling invincible. I'm like, oh, fuck. You are going to be hammered.

You're going to be a problem. He luckily was like, never a problem. Like, all right, I know where this day is going and it's going to be so much fucking fun. Yeah, true.

Because when you go in, which is a good way to go into a night or a day, it's like, all right i know where this day is going and it's going to be so much fucking fun because when you go in which is a good way to go into a night or a day it's like all right nothing is going to phase you until the very end of the night like it'll all hit you and you're just going to pass out kind of like how i did last saturday and we're like oh just slept on two chairs together yeah yeah um why didn't you sleep on their couch well also there were two people on the couch already i'll tell you you what, dude. What was it? 530 AM? Dude, bro. I bet you don't know this.

Me and John. No, no, no. Wait. So I wake up. I was at Avery's parents just bought a light house. So I was up there. I thought you were about to say you were there. I'm like, there's not a chance.

I wasn't there. So I was up there and I woke up like randomly. I look at my phone. I have a snapchat from scott at 5 15 a.m him and john are walking the streets of milwaukee i'm like the sun's up they're in the same clothes as last night i'm like what are you guys doing dude why are you out we left a bar and john called an uber he wanted to burn some calories no he said he called an uber and he's like you know what let's just go to the end of the road and i was just like why oh so i walked up to franklin but i was like

all right walk to the end of the road he's like you know what let's just walk back to your place i was like bro where's the uber he's like oh i think it passed us he's like oh i canceled it dude 50 minute walk back to my place the 50 yeah we left a bar pitch blackout halfway through we hear seagulls chirping and shit sun's rising i was like what are all the birds what's awesome is i probably woke up before you got home 100 i so i slept there two nights in a row yeah first of all i don't know how this happens to me Like I just Somehow find my way Into a different group Yeah

And all of a sudden like I'm out of the bar I'm like oh come A-bar And then I've slept on their couch Yeah Which is like I don't want to do Yeah you showed up like an hour after too Two nights in a row

I slept at P-cars Okay Two nights in a row I'm like This is not In the exact same spot by the way Claimed it And both times

Both times I had to be up To go coach lacrosse At 7 o'clock in the morning 7? And both times I like We went to be up to go coach lacrosse at 7 o'clock in the morning and both times I like we went to bed at like what 4.35

and me just like dude I'm passing the fuck out nothing after this nothing is happening I'm like I'm going to bed I woke up

and I'm like oh this is gonna be fun that's crazy we have a train at 8am tomorrow we're going to Chicago tomorrow morning yeah

for what another podcast just to go another podcast just to go. Just to go and train all day in Chicago. Pretty much. Really? Just hang out? Yeah, just go. Fuck, can I come?

No, I have games. Damn. Dude, don't tease us like that. We have a hotel tomorrow night if you want to come later in the night. We're just going to go out. Just you two? No, our friend Bobby's coming too. He's never been. Like the preface of it, he's never been to a city than Milwaukee, and we're just going to put him on. He's traveled places before, but he's never been anywhere bigger than Milwaukee, like city-wise. He's never gone out anywhere bigger than Milwaukee.

And he was like, oh, I'll just drive and park somewhere. What's the biggest city you've gone out in? New York City. New York? Yeah. Fuck, I missed it. I wish I could do that. Well, yeah, I guess New York, technically. Mine's Miami. Miami, yeah. I haven I could do that Well Yeah I guess New York technically

Mine's Miami Miami I haven't went out in Miami I went with I went to Miami You gotta have money With Braxton when I was like 11

Well you don't You don't need to You don't need to have money But it'd be nice to have it We were thinking about going there this weekend But we were like Let's just take it Again just cause

Yeah This is what we do No I like it I'm the same way I'm like alright fuck let's go No yeah Like every month We just cause. Yeah. This is what we do. Like every, no, I like it. I'm the same way. I'm like, all right, fuck, let's go.

No. Yeah. Yeah. Like every month we just have a weekend where we're like, fuck it. Should we just go do something? Yeah. Yeah.

No, I love that. And that's kind of like, that's how I ended up moving to Miami. I was like, fuck it. I don't need to be in mass anymore. And I just went,

I slept on everybody's couch for six months. Parents still don't know we did that. Although they probably know now. After six months, they're like, where's Michael? Where did they think you were living? No, no. My parents knew. His parents knew. His uncle came to visit once.

I packed my shit up, put it back in the suitcase, hid it in the back of his closet, and I sat at a Starbucks for three hours until he left. Why couldn't you just act like you were a friend from Miami, like in the apartment? Because he knows exactly who I am. So it's Sam Walsh's family.

And I'm very close to his family. And I know two of his uncles very well. And so on a first name basis, they – What if they're watching? I don't care now. What are they going to do? The deed is done. The deed is done.

Sam doesn't live there anymore. I don't live there anymore anymore and it's not like anything bad happened i think it was good mentally for both of us yeah um but yeah he came and i was like oh i think i should probably go he goes yeah i think we got to figure this out like all right i'll go work out and then i'll just go to starbucks and wait until you guys are done with dinner like i'm not even gonna risk him walking in and i'm like doing dishes or anything like that. I'm like, why are you here, Michael? I'm like, I'm visiting. What's the suitcase?

I'm like, I'm staying for a while. Why are the dishes clean? I'm staying forever. Why are you sweeping? I was just a good friend. Really helping Sam out this weekend. I know he's struggling with school. That's crazy.

I've never been to Miami, ever. It's a two-week, I've said it before, it's a two-week place. I can't. Yeah. If you don't, if you aren't in school there, and if you aren't, like, mega rich. Right, yeah. Where you can just do whatever the hell you want, where you're constantly on boats, or going to clubs, and you have all the connections.

Then I can see it being a lot of fun but when you're two guys living in a one-bedroom apartment 45 minutes from both downtown miami and fort lauderdale with like very little income it's kind of tough it's tough i mean we made it work going like fort lauderdale it was nice being halfway between because fort Lauderdale is, like, going out in Madison, like, expensive-wise. Right. That's pretty cool. Yeah, and it's fun.

Like, when school's in session. That's great. I bet. Wait, so I don't know. What's his name, Sam? Sam Walsh. I don't know him at all, but did he go to school down there? Yeah, so he went to – he's from Franklin.

I'm not sure if this is entertaining at all. I don't know. With the last 45 minutes, it's very entertaining. He went – he's from Franklin, went undergrad at Arizona, and then did his master's or I don't know what the fuck is after undergrad. Yeah. Probably master's. St. Thomas in Miami.

Oh, okay. That's cool. Yeah, he has in sports something. I don't fucking know. And now he works for Travis Matthew. Shout out, Sammy. And they made him get his, I think it's a CDL. So he's driving the semi truck.

Yeah. And going to each golf tournament and stuff like that. That's sick, though. Which is cool because every time I talk to him, he's like, all right, I'm in Nashville, I'm in Denver, I'm in Texas. I'm like, that's fucking awesome. You're also driving a semi-truck, which sucks. But, hey, baby steps to get to where you want to go.

Speaking of, we were supposed to be at the tournament this weekend. PGA Championship? Yeah. We had tickets and obviously it got us. And then they said, we're only letting 10,000 people in. So the groups. What happened to your tickets? Did you get refunded at least?

I never checked that. I would hope so. I never checked that. You wanted some dollar tickets. Oh, yeah. But it said. Yeah, they were expensive. Initially it said group C through Z are not coming.

And I was in group A. Yeah. And then like a week later, they're like, yeah, you're not coming. They probably like fucking check my bank account or some shit. Oh, for sure. Yeah.

They're like, he's not spending $1,000. So we were supposed to be there this weekend, so we were like, well, we got to do something. Where is it? It's in South Carolina.

So like, near Charleston, right off of Charleston. So what are you going to do? We're going to go to Michael's garage. Yeah, that's instead. And honestly, it's probably better.

So we were like, either we go to like, but tickets to Miami were way too fucking expensive. So we guys were like, I'm going on these trips with you guys. And then we were like, let's just go to Chicago. So we booked trains to Chicago tomorrow morning. A reason that I'm booked in June is because I'm going to a wedding in California. And I'm caddying for the U.S. Open qualifier for one of my friends. So that kind of makes up for it a little bit. That's going to be a lot of fun.

You have a friend that's qualifying for the U.S. Open? Yeah. Did you see the thing where, like, the 13-year-old shot a 70? Dude, yeah, that's crazy. I saw that. He shot, like, a 62 or something. What is he qualifying? Was it for the U.S. Open?

It was for – honestly, I don't know what tournament it was. Ryan might know if he comes, because Ryan for the US Open? It was for... Honestly, I don't know what tournament it was. Ryan might know if he comes. Because Ryan was the one that texted me. They're taking their sweet fucking time. I'm happy about it, though. But, dude, yeah, outrageous. Like, some 12-year-old hit, like...

He shot, like, a 61 on a pro course. That's crazy. And, like, I mean, that's, like, the best golfer in the world. So, I don't get that, but... He doesn't know. He won't answer. So, I don't get that. He doesn't know. He won't answer. So, I don't know. But, yeah, we were supposed to be there this weekend.

So, we were like, let's do something. Do you guys golf a lot? Yeah. Are you good? No. Not terrible. Yeah, not terrible. Oh, yeah.

Compared to last year. You look like you've golfed before at least. Yeah, 100%. Compared to last year and the year before, we're like, we're on our shit. Last year I golfed. I wasn't doing any of this. I golfed or went to the driving range

once or twice a week every week from March through the end of September. I have golfed twice this year. Wow. Driving range once. You live right here too.

Driving range once. I'm so busy. Like with the lacrosse now. Yeah. Driving range once. You live right here, too. Driving range once. I'm so busy. Like, with the lacrosse now. Yeah. Oh, like, I get home at 7.30. I'm like, I want to fucking die. Yeah, that's true. And I make dinner, and I then do editing and stuff like this.

I'm like, just pass the fuck out. Yeah. I would love to golf more, but then I was like, oh, I have the weekends. I was like, oh, nope, you have games at 9 and 10, and the next one's at, like, 1.30, 2.30. I got a few weeks left. You work on Saturday and Sunday? The coaching, yeah. Really? Yeah. It's in the mornings but it's not somewhere. Yeah, I was literally just

about to bring that up. If you need to pee, if you want to, you can go upstairs. That's three. Oh, they're here. He brought a golf club with him. We're just talking about golf. Can I go somewhere? Yeah. We got two special guests here. So go outside into the bushes over there or you can go upstairs. Can I go somewhere? Go outside into the bushes over there or you can go upstairs.

You can quickly say hi. I need you both to be behind the cameras. I know. Just see the trees going there. You're fine. You see a kid, run. This has been great. Let's get you see a kid run okay this has been great let's get you guys a chair you can come through and grab the chair I don't care well outside

I mean go for it do you need a golf ball okay if you want to sit on the Yeti thing or the Yeti thing it's a cooler want to sit on the Yeti thing, or the Yeti thing, it's a cooler. Go ahead, sit on that. Camry, there is also Miller Lite, PBR, Trulies, another thing of Miller Lite, Sprite, LaCroix. Wait, can I steal that?

Yeah, take whatever you want. The bottles of Miller Lite are still from your episode. No way, where? They're warm, though. Do you want a cold drink? Yeah, probably. Where are these? Land Sharks. Can you – do you guys want to put a few extra – no, take it, take it, take it, take it.

Sure. Yeah, just put a few more bottles into the thing, and then let's add the rest of the ice in there. I'm going to put a Miller in there. See, this is the one. This is so fun and we're only at 49 minutes. I have at least... I have more to give. No, Jesse, I'm mad because you never posted our fucking podcast.

I'm okay with just one more. We talked about that today. I'm excited to try this. We never posted it. The reason I don't want to do it is because I've been all time. Is it fruity? It was great and I want to post it, but the problem is your camera that was on YouTube just turned off. So the whole editing, like I still edit it, but it goes like whole group and then me. Whole group, me.

It never goes on YouTube. That's okay. I know, but like it bothers me. Wait, you did it. Just grab the. He's so happy to see me. Just grab the... Oh, so happy. Camera.

I was like, camera, every time. Whenever I'm talking, you're interrupting. Middle of a story. Sorry, guys. There's a lady with her dog out there. They were barking at me while I was peeing.

That's all right. Whatever. That's what I figured you were going to know. Last two episodes, we've had people here. If I knew you were coming, I would have had a little VIP thing set up for you. No, I'm okay. Look at it, like the whole nine yards. I had the cooler next to her. This was her

bucket. Iced down was a bottle of vodka. Her glass. Nice glass straw so you don't kill the turtles. Very nice. Some LaCroix, some Diet Sprite. I don't fuck with turtles. That's what she said. She said you got exactly what you wanted. Yeah. I listen. I'm a good listener.

As good as I am talking. Me talk no good, though. What are you talking about? I have no clue because Tweedledee and Tweedledum came and just interrupted us. By the way, Tweedledee, I mean Dom. No, you're Tweedledum.

Tweedledum? Tweedledum? You guys asked to come hang out and Ryan's like, I'm just going to go chip outside to your's like I'm just gonna go chip outside To your dad I'm like You could've done that In your front yard

I know And I was like Can you just go upstairs Really quick So I can change He's like no We need to leave now I was like

We're in no rush Oh this is interesting It's not bad It tastes like a Corona With a land shark Yeah That's good That's a good way

You mix out the stink You know Oh there's stink bro This is skunky as fuck I don't think it's is skunky as fuck. I don't think it's that skunky. I might have COVID, but like... No, that's skunk. You might have COVID?

No. I don't know. I've been tired all week. I think I've had a... I'm crashing on caffeine. So I'm used to taking pre-workout before I work out, and I ran out of it. So I would just go to the health hut that's next to

and just get a bang or one of those raise energy drinks and drink that. And then by the end of the night, I'm like, I want to fucking die. Yeah. I'm so tired. She's a runner. She's a trampster. He's chasing the ball out there. Oh, I saw his reins.

He might be 12. No, let me tell you this story. Dude, this is from this morning and i want to tell you yeah straight up i didn't include one part for you but so i wake up early this morning and i work from home and i was like you know what it's nice out woke up a little early i'm gonna go grab a coffee so i walk down to collectivo usually i go for lunch and grab a coffee get So I walk down to Collectivo. Usually I go for lunch and grab a coffee. Get my coffee. I'm like, wow, it's nice out. Not many people out. Walking down the street with my coffee,

just fucking past my face, bro. I was just like, what? A car just kicks up. Bro, I got drive-by egged. I got drive-by egged. I got drive-by egged. Listen to this.

This morning. This morning. And I couldn't believe it. And the thing is, I'm not trying to act hard or anything. I did not flinch because my brain was like, that did not happen. That did not happen. So then, I just keep walking. I was like, holy.

My first thought was like, holy fuck. Like a bird just laid eggs in midair. The first time ever a bird midair lays eggs. Literally. What do you mean? By bird, you mean just chickens are flying over the top of you? Just fucking an ostrich. An ostrich in the middle of the city. Ostriches don't fly.

And I was like, wait. That hit the building behind me way too hard to be a bird laying egg. So I look behind. There's fucking eggs there. But I'm telling you, it skimmed my shit. And then. Did you see who did it? Well, it was a car.

It was a drive-by. But you didn't get a glimpse of an age? I prefer eggs over bullets any day. Like, keep it coming. But the dead ass, the first thing I I thought I was like, you know what? I'm not even mad like this. It's funny. This is dude. It's a story. That's the best way to look No, it's a fucking or a driving pass. I was like, they're probably laughing. They love this but this is good ass podcast content for today Oh, that's great. I mean, that's the way I would think like oh my god. I got a story for today

At 7 a.m. If he got hit by one, he'd have a welt right now. Oh, yeah. I would not be here right now. By the way, you know who that is? That's you and John and Earth 2 who are walking home from the A-Bar. You know what we should do? Let's go egg people. Those are kids coming back from an A-Bar.

Probably shouldn't be driving. Let's find the first guy going to coffee and ruin his fucking day. Fuck his shit up but i i will tell you if that terrible aim if it didn't hit you at all dude it was good honestly bro they were going like 30 or 40. i mean how many people you got to have like a how many eggs were thrown at you i didn't expect anybody to throw eggs at me bro there's like four eggs but then you feel like did you see the license plate? Do you have? Chevy Impala 237 h y Z

According to my calculations there are 37 degrees No, but I was just like who the fuck does that like that's crazy but respect to them I guess I wonder if they hit hit anyone Yeah, fuck if you're watching this and you did that podcast content bitch But if they did hit me I would be in my bed for a month I would be so confused. I would just turn around like I was just egged dude. I wouldn't get coffee I just like I'm done today. I walk I'm done with work. I'm taking a person Yeah, I'm fucked for like a block and then I was like, nobody's going to believe this. So I turned around and I filmed it. I woke up to a Snapchat

of eggs on a wall. I was like, dude, what is that? He's like, these shits just got thrown at me. I'm like, what do you mean? It's 7.15am. Do you have it saved? Let me see it. Dude, that's got to be some high school game. Did you guys play, uh,

Wait, listen to this. Listen to this. The egging? I just got my coffee from Collectivo. And I'm walking. And I just got drive-by egged.

Look at this. Look at this. Look at that shit. Look at this. There's eggs everywhere. I wish I could just plug this on my screen. Deadass. Holy shit, you got egged. And I was just, like, on phase,

because it just, like, went right in front of my face. I'm like, I'm not going to give them the attention. So I kept walking. And I was like, I got to record that. attention So I kept walking I was like I gotta record that fucking drive by egg fucking pussies That's crazy, I mean it's nuts what a great day to do it though, so that's perfect. Thank you children You wonder like they just kept driving to hit other people though

No, I was thinking like you know how we saw a block up the other weekend? We saw Giannis' wife sitting and drinking coffee. Imagine if they hit someone like that. That would be national news. You're not important at all. Giannis' wife gets it five feet away from her. I get it on my nose. They're just like, dude, fuck you.

Fuck the white guy. That didn't happen. How random. But I think it was just like kids on their way to school. Just fucking yeeting. What do you mean on the way to school? Kids on the way to school. It's fun.

Throwing eggs at Scott. Hey, guys. I know we got to get to home, but I have an idea. We do have biology We're leaving at 645 we grab two eggs at 7 he'll be walking They've been cased in your apartment So as a result of that Monday through Friday, I'm walking 7 a.m. Every day. I want to get hit. I want to get hit imagine that that's just it becomes a thing

I want every day these guys will get out of here. Yeah Yeah, they're doing some dumb shit senior. Did you guys play that paranoia game in high school? Okay, so cut that out oh No, it's nuts. Have you guys played this Paranoia game? We didn't. You know what it is, though, right? Because my older brother played it, but we didn't play it. We did, like, a senior scavenger hunt.

You played it? Yeah. Paranoia? People don't know, but it's basically, like, you have, what, teams? And then there's park teachers in the church. No, I'm just kidding. But you've got to get them with a water gun. It seemed fun.

But it doesn't count if you're naked. Is how my brother plays. I thought it was like a Nerf gun. It's a water gun. So you're immune if you're naked. So if you're naked, you're immune. Okay. Or if you're in your house. So there are people, my brother said,

would sit in your driveway and you can't leave for school and shit like that. My brother, during the game, we live here, apparently climbed on the fucking roof of this condo. The homeowners, I could be butchering this, so my mom will get it right. But she told me, like, the homeowners were like, hey, who the fuck is the guy on the roof? We're going to evict whoever lives there. My mom had been living for a year she's like what the fuck is going on but i the reason i say this as i was on my first trip to

target today to get land shark as i'm walking out with nothing about to lose my wallet i see two guys with water guns and like kids clearly in high school i'm like all right you both play football and you're rushing out with water guns. I'm like, I know. It just clicked. I know what you're doing. I'm like, all right, good for you. That's a ton of fun.

For me, it was cool to see. They fuck your shit up. You get super soaked. But I get in my car, and the car across from me, like in the parking lot, is a guy literally pumping up a water gun, rolling his window down. I'm like, dude, they're coming out. They're coming out. I go, holy shit. Like, they are everywhere.

Dude, my sister's doing it, and her and her friends went to this girl's work, sat outside the work, and then one of them went in to see if she was still working. She saw them, snuck out the back door. They chased her home in her car, and then sat outside of her parents' house waiting for her to get

home. And then finally her parents said, come on, you guys need to leave. You guys can't be here. Dude, I... Dude, I mean, paranoia is the... I remember my older brother, Zach. He's six years older than me. Seven years older than me. Why are you telling

him how old his brother is? Because his sister's the same age. Our siblings are the same age. Yeah. Okay. And I remember him being at home. Like, yeah, I know. Your brother's definitely 22, man. I know.

I remember him running into the house, like, dude, straight up dolphin diving onto the just the living room floor. And we're like, what are you doing? He's like, they're after me. We're like, I go up to my room they're after me we're like i go up my room under my bed like it's a tornado or something i'm like dude what's going on i'm so scared i was fucking 10 i didn't know what was going on i like that i like the idea i think it's fun when you're a senior you should do those games yeah i mean it brings you together especially

towards the end where you're not going to see half of them again. We didn't do that. All we did was FSU, though. Yeah. You fucked shit up? Neighborhood shenanigans, yeah. Yeah, we threw, like, sticks and shit at cars

driving by. That was it. Just all sticks. We did a senior scavenger hunt, which was cool. And it was, like, I guess you'd call it like an adult scavenger hunt.

So it was... Ooh, sounds risky. But not, like, but, like, not really. But, like, at the time in high school it was like alright go get handcuffed go get handcuffed pinky pinky go slap someone's mom's ass

sneak into their bed get cancelled pick one of them that was fun and I enjoyed it. The paranoia thing, I would be fucking paranoid, because I would trust none of you. I'd be like, all right, which one of you got a fucking gun in your pocket right now? I'm paranoid in general.

I can't play a game that's paranoid. Did you guys do senior frames? No. We couldn't. We did. Did you guys do the same thing? We did. Well, they came out of the VA system and said that.

Anyone who does anything. Yeah, okay, here's the thing. It's locked up for 10 came on the PA system and said that. Anyone who does anything. Yeah, okay. Here's the thing. It's locked up for 10 to 15. They say that every year. Every year, like, if you do it, you're locked up. It's just like, you got to do it.

No one's going to lock you up. I liked ours. I'm going to be bricked up. I think we could have. I think I could be butchering this, too. But some kids, one night, Yeah, they did farm animals. So we had this – Like a ticket for animal abuse or something?

Yeah, but maybe – Isn't that hard? I think it got removed because they did it perfectly. They went and bought chickens at a flea market, I think. Seven Mile Fair? Seven Mile Fair, yeah, that's it. And then before they did the prank, they found one of the girls at our high school has a farm.

Their family has a farm. Like, hey, are you willing to take these chickens when we're done? They're not like, we're just going to slaughter them in the corridor. So they knew what they were doing with the chickens. But one night they went up, got a ladder, took it to the roof and put another ladder on the roof and they're like all right here so they can get down and then they came back a week later got a ladder they had a ladder up there already went down and they just released

chickens in the courtyard i think it'd be it was barely any to make a difference a difference between what no chickens and six eggs and twelve? Let's be honest It didn't make a difference There was only six A difference where like Hey, someone's shooting eggs at us from the sky If you put in the courtyard

If I put one chicken in here I'd be like, oh, there's a chicken here If I put thirty chickens in here I'd be like, oh, there's a chicken here. If I put 30 chickens in here, I'd be like, holy shit. 30 would be outrageous. That's like Tyson chicken. You would hear 30 chickens coming. Oh, yeah. They're making chicken

patties. Lunch is free for the next week. I like the idea, and I think people have done this before, where they've had courtyards and they've released three pigs into the courtyard. And they number them like one, two, and four. Yeah. Like, where the fuck is three?

I'm just thinking, just a related story. Oh, God. I went to a seven-mile fair with my friends and they bought a fucking bag of chickens. It sounds horrible. You just buy a bag of chickens. sounds horrible you just buy it buy a bag of chicken don't say a bag dude it sounds like they're in that meshing like hey I got a five-pound bag dead ass dead ass they're in a bag threw him in the trunk went back I remember this yeah it was that and they're like dude we just bought chickens like this is crazy now what?

My friend that sounds bad wait Get worse. Yeah, it gets bad my friend had a river in his backyard Trust me, PETA. Hey, don't cancel. It wasn't us. We didn't buy it. We didn't own it. It's fine. So we built it. Don't say we.

Don't say we. It wasn't me. Stop implicating yourself. Stop implicating. No, I wasn't there. I only saw Snapchat. You're incriminating yourself. No, no, no.

I wasn't there. For a legal person, dude, all my stories I tell are fictional. They're fake. Like, all this is made up. No. But they built a boat. Yeah. And then they put the chickens on a boat and sailed them down the fucking creek.

That's it. They're fucking. No, that wasn't it. What? Boats chill. If that's not it, don't continue. That's not it. I don't remember what else happened.

I'll say it. I don't care. They built a pen by the oh yeah yeah yeah and then they came out the next morning i won't say names and they were dead it was just a carcass obviously like coyotes ate the shit out i didn't remember that but we wow we made it to the sand pit they're at the playground finally this is way better than the bag but we were just watching this series like on snapchat and they're like floating them down Made it to the sand pit. They're at the playground finally. This is way better than the bag. But we were just watching this series on Snapchat.

And they're floating them down the river and shit. Yeah, I remember that. Christopher Columbus chicken style. How bored are you? Like, hey, what do you want to do? Let's go buy chickens. Let's go to Seven Mile Fair and just buy animals. Let's go to Seven Mile Fair.

Dude, that shit had everything, though. I wonder what other animals you can get. What is that? What is that? It's about like chicken. It's right by Mike's warehouse. you had everything though I wonder what other animals you can get it was a big thing because you could get hookahs underage not that I like wouldn't know that oh you did it you did it you know like hookah pens were big in high school people would go there to get that and then we're like dude it's pretty crazy

they would just sell 16 year olds chickens, like real life. Like that's it. That's a person's like, Hey man, where are these going? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you're like giving to a 16 year old. Where did they get them?

Isn't that fucked up? There's a chicken shortage right now. Oh really? Chalk it up. How many chickens in this world is human? I mean, there's 21. have you seen that time does that mean

there's a human shortage because I don't fucking think so he doesn't want kids he's on to something

no you do want kids I do want kids yeah that was that was that thing I would definitely want

kids who doesn't want to mold a few Yeah don't you just want to look at it Yeah mold them It's like see how it turns out I want to have a conversation With a human being that was in my ball

That's true That is cool as fuck I wouldn't put it that way but yeah that'd be cool I like it that way Yeah but I gotta think of a new way to say it. Yeah. Very important. I wanna talk to her something that was my...

Someone looks a little like me, but... Resting in my... Sack. Chest. Who's the best swimmer? Good lord. I might have to pee now here. Well, what the heck?

I'm slowing down on the drinks. It's this microphone. I like having my hands free. You really got to hurry up. I drank four, I think. This is super nice to not have to hold anything. You're used to holding? Yeah.

How many times are you holding a microphone at a podcast? What do you mean? Oh, yeah. it's being all free i had a show last night at the ham fam theater no fuck off i don't know the amount we've laughed i'm concerned that this audio is just going to sound like. I'm concerned my audio is going to start like. Oh, this, you can't hear this shit. All right, perfect. You have any like crazy, crazy bar stories or like going out stories?

Like from me working at a bar? No, no, no. Just like going out in college or just anything. A wild night that you had that you'd maybe not regret. Scott visited me once in Eau Claire and he got arrested in Eau Claire. That is not true, bro. That's true. Neither are the chickens.

Neither is the egging. That is not true. Twice in Eau Claire and arrested once. That's not true. I haven't been arrested yet. I'm kind of like I have. I've said it before. I have FOMO.

He doesn't want to be incriminated. You better do a nice one. Well, yeah, I can't, actually, I mean, if I'm going to do this whole comedy thing, I could give a fuck. If I get arrested, woo, content. Sorry. Sorry, Mom. But, yeah, it's, no, I mean. Have you ever been arrested?

No. I've been stopped, and I've had my mugshot taken for an underage drinking ticket at Cusa. Yeah, for sure. Which is so dumb. No, I have plenty. I mean, I would have to. Like a certain event or something we're talking about would spark a story. The one that always comes to my head is just the lady that came in who legit thought she was a cat.

A cat? And I think I've told it on here before. A cat? Yeah. First of all, I don't like cats. I love cats And I think I've told it on here before. A cat? First of all, I don't like cats. I love cats. I've only had cats. I've never had a dog. You like cats?

Yeah. I don't know. I'm serious. Yeah, you'll get over it. I always said my dream fantasy girl had a tail. Had a... A what? Yeah, if you... A girl has a tail?

That's your dream fantasy? Yeah. If no one heard that, his, Brian Kuzmanov is his dream girl. I wish the cameras were on. By the way, his girlfriend is right here,

has a tail. Dream fancy. Who are you fucking? That you have a tail? I mean, Cameron looks like, hey, why?

She looks like she has a tail. Like any tail? Like Lola Bonet tail? I could see, am I gonna lie? Scott. I could see with the tail Yeah, you're sassy as fuck. Hey, uh camp camp. I know what you're wearing next weekend Yeah in high school, yeah, they were they were the They wear the fox tail on their side.

They feel it up. We had a girl that always wore wolf t-shirts, and then she'd sit on the desk and draw wolves during a lot of the class. Under the desk? Yeah, under the desk. Yeah, that's my kind of girl. I think anyone from a high school that listens to this, which might be like one person, knows exactly who I'm talking about.

But yeah no there's a legit lady it was a dead night at the bar i was working and if i've told this on you before i apologize but she walks in and i know there's the uh like you guys both went to the w right yeah the uh club next to it is lucid or segredos depending on when you were there yeah um and i'm like are there's clearly a rave or whatever going on and she comes in and she is on something she's got she's got a tail so were you working at the club no she doesn't actually say that does she no she ordered rum and coke but she me meowed. I was going to say. She meowed. She walked in. She had the ears, a skirt.

And it wasn't Halloween. By herself? By herself. It wasn't Halloween? No. No. Hey, this isn't your episode. Shut your fucking mouth.

I would love for you to be quiet. You don't exist, Tommy. You called during the episode, and that's not enough. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. But no, you know those table mats? I don't know if you guys had table mats. I didn't, but as a kid, they had. You put your plate on almost like a rug on the table.

Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. It's like if you cut a hole in it. A rug? Not a rug. Okay, but you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, I know what you mean.

Yeah, yeah. But like a placemat. A placemat, yeah. But if you cut a hole in that and then made it a skirt, that's how short it was. I can see. This is good. Your ears and tail. She walks in.

I'm pretty sure I looked at her. This is going to be fun. She comes up to us. She goes, hi, meow. Can I have a rub? She was French. Hi, meow. She goes, hi, meow. Can I have a rum and... She was French. Hi, meow. She goes, hi, meow.

Can I have a rum and coke, meow? And no lie. You ever have something someone says and you just can't be polite and you're just like, excuse me, what the fuck did you just say? I go, what? She goes, hi, meow.

She repeated it like I didn't just hear her. Hi, meow. Rum and coke, please, meow. I'm like, what? She goes, hi, meow. She repeated it like I didn't just hear her. She goes, hi, meow. Rum and coke, please, meow. I'm like, what the? Okay. Whatever. What? I'm sorry, put it in the cat. By the way, she like, did her best attempt at purring, so she's like, you purr back. You sound like you're

snoring with your eyes open. And I'm like, okay, whatever. She does her thing and she starts snoring with your eyes open. She starts like, she starts doing like this with her thing and she starts... Snoring with your eyes. She starts doing like this with her hand on her face. You get her a bowl of water and shit? Do you want some warm milk? No lie, if I would have gotten a bowl from the kitchen

and filled it with water, 100% I believe she would have... She would have licked it up. I'm surprised she didn't lick her fucking drink out of her cup. Yeah. But she starts, like, trying to interact with people. And all of a sudden, I start, like, seeing her. Oh, actually, before she interacts with people.

Honestly, though, your t-shirt kind of ties into this whole story. Yeah, you're a little cat. You're Tom, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe that's why. No, she's Tom, and he's Jerry. Yeah, you're Jerry.

But she asked for my hand. She asked for my hand and she tried licking it. I go, no, no, no, no, no. Did she ever get a furball? That would have been unreal. If she... Oh, I don't know. The lady who thinks she's a cat and is wearing a placemat as a fucking skirt.

I'd rather her not lick me anywhere. Pre-COVID, post-COVID. I don't want whatever is going to grow out of me after she does that. Tail. She tries like, yeah, a tail. I'm going to get a fucking tail. That'd be kind of cool. She tries licking me.

I go, no. And I'm like, all right. She starts interacting with other people. And she does these things like, I know you don't like cats. She starts scratching her back on other people. No lie. She's fucking dragging around. No lie goes oh she got into heat later I'll tell you that she went up to someone's chest and just starts doing this with their head like Robin it like you know when a cat gets affectionate you have room and just like rubs his head on you. That's kind of scary.

Doing that to... What the hell happened to her? Oh, it's cool. She had no bad luck. Could be more of her. Here's what's more concerning to me. Is she then met a guy outside the bar. And he was a dog.

And by outside the bar, I mean six inches outside. You couldn't open the door without hitting her. And we just watched them suck face for about 45 minutes is that friends with benefits when she's they're making out on the couch and she starts purring at him well i don't know but either i was like okay this might be one of the more interesting interactions i've ever had and by the way this wasn't like a five minute thing she was there for a good 30 40 minutes she came back what interacted with us. Just rum and Coke meows. Oh, I should have put a kiddie cocktail.

Next time you say this story, you got to say it as a kiddie cocktail. Someone made that joke that night. I know they did. I'm like, yeah, but no, it was just all rum and Coke meows. That's great. I had plenty more. I mean, I did so much shit at that bar. We used to bait people so we could kick them out in the kitchen and stuff like that.

I remember the first time I ever been there, Braxton was at his. Braxton. His sleepy stand-up era. Sleepy stand-up. Which is fine. He was okay. He was just chilling. His peak drinking scene.

But I remember he was like, Kuski, and I didn't know who you were at the time. And I was like, he wants a drink, but give him a water. And you brought him a water. And I was like, Kuski's a good guy. I spoke for braxton i'll get i'll get braxton up into the point where he's about to die i'm like all right let's bring it back i would always run into braxton at the w and i'd be like lit and he'd be like and i'd be like you want to do a tequila shot he's like he stops talking and then yeah he smiles and nods and i'm like he wants a tequila shot let's like he stops talking and then yeah he smiles and nods and i'm like he wants a tequila shot let's do it my favorite and again it says is he would just come to the

corner bar the kowski and i by the way i heard him coming from the bathrooms i'm like all right see him coming i just put a captain coke in the corner and i'm like no one touched that no one touched it that's his touched that. That's his. It's Braxton's. And they're like, who? I go, he'll be here in about two minutes. And he'll literally go right to the spot and it's right in front of him.

Like as in front of you is that microphone. And he goes, Kostki. I go, what's up, buddy? He goes, can I get up? It's right there. He goes, dude, how'd you know? I'm like, this is the 15th one tonight. It's awesome.

He's a dog. Yeah, I know. He's got a girlfriend. He's calmed down. He's mature. Yeah, whatever. It's good, though. Yeah, I have a few of those bar stories.

Scott had a big Madison phase. He didn't go to Madison, but he had a big Madison phase. Oh, yeah. Did you go to Madison? I mean, yeah, I worked at one of the bars. Which one? Was it the club or the W? The W.

He was just telling a story about bar cuisine there. No, no, no, no, because you mentioned the W, but then you said the club next door, so I didn't know if you said the W. Yeah, no, I worked at the W and then the club next door. I mean, then we met in Madison because I was there every weekend with Braxton. I've probably been an asshole to you then. I next to it. I mean, we've met in Madison because I was there every weekend with Braxton. I've probably been an asshole to you then.

I don't care. In one ear, out the other. Give me my fucking shot. No, Madison. You've also probably got plenty of free stuff for me too if you were with any of the Greendale kids. No, but Madison, I have some stories, but I have one that's a little much.

Hey. But I feel like you would enjoy it, and the audience would enjoy it. No, Kuski, bro. You're not here, bro. Fuck you. Because I heard a car beep. So I want to make it kind of quick. But I was in another state.

We're going quick. We're in no rush No rush We're only at an hour 20 To be honest Except for a battle I don't want to take up too much time Only an hour 20 The longest I've had for this show

Is about an hour 45 The shortest I've had Is about an hour 20 We're going So we got about 10-20 minutes I'd say An hour Yeah

I was in another state. I won't say that state. If you end up in Wisconsin. No, I would try to. I'll get there. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what this is. I was going out.

My friend went to a college I've never been to before, and he was in a frat. Mankato. Bro. Why not say what college? Come on, cut that shit. You can say the college. Just don't say. Mankato. Bro. Why not say what college? Cut that shit. You can say the college. Just don't say the guy's name.

That slims it down, bro. You're sick. Hey, real quick. Bleep it. Bleep it. Real quick. No, you hear the story, and then you'll say, oh, yeah, bleep it. Just bleep Mankato?

Yeah, just bleep that. And bleep that. He's in Minnesota. Bleep that. Bro, shut up. Why does it? To Mankato University, nothing will be bleep that. He's in Minnesota. Bro, shut up. Why does it... To Mankato University, nothing will be bleeped. I don't care about you.

Continue the story. Nobody who's listening cares about the location. Sponsor us. Yeah, but you said a different state. Anyways, I was in Connecticut. And I was at a friend's house who was in a frat. Never been there before. At Mankato.

Yeah. No, no, no At Mankato. Yeah. No, no, no. Utah. Connecticut. Yeah. Virginia. No, bro. Are we fucking you up right now?

I was in South California, bro. South California. South California. I was in Northeastern Utah. You name it. What do you call it? With the youpers in Michigan. SoCal

Anyways We're It was like on Halloween It was like 10 of our friends Never been there before This is funny And You know

We were going out and stuff This is such a dumb show And I Didn't have like a costume Some of my friends Like oh I got the SWAT vest So I take my t-shirt on

I'm only wearing a SWAT vest Right And pants of course And we go out Go out We're drinking at the frat house and they're like all right we're gonna go to this uh strip club and i was just like i bet and i follow them and we're like walking and brad knows like when we're walking somewhere i like to get lost like i'm like this will be funny in the morning because they'll be like where the fuck did you go so I'm just like I'm headed that way and they're going that way never like this yeah next thing you know we can I butt in yeah a little bit but we're not that way Brad was not there but I've told him this

story many times no you called oh no I'm not there yet. Chill, chill, chill. Chill, chill, chill. So I'm walking, and I'm just like, holy fuck, maybe I shouldn't have done that. And then I'm going through their main strip, and I see one of my friends. I'm like, yo, what's up? And he's like, dude, what are you doing? Why aren't you with them? And I was just like, oh, I'm just chilling. I'll meet up with them right now.

So then keep walking. I end up at a 7-Eleven. And I'm just looking around. I'm just like well my friends aren't here and it's fucking cold bro it's like 38 degrees and I'm in a swap vest only so then there's like a bridge right next to the 7-Eleven and I'm like

maybe take some shelter there for a little bit think about my actions take some shelter there shelter at your fucking homeless shelter like you're fucking homeless yeah literally i was like they know what they're doing i'm gonna do it too so then do you think they know what they're doing they're homeless hey man they if they don't have a home they know where to go so i go up there well and i go up there and i'm sitting i'm like well it's pretty fucking cold up here so then i just walked i just walked walked walked walked and then i'm just like

looking for my friend's house looking for it i'm like that's it that's my friend's house right there go inside i'm like oh everybody's probably downstairs because that's where we were before so i'm like i'm at the time i'm like a little bit anti-social i don't want to like see people in that state so i like sit on the stairs fall asleep a little bit nextisocial. I don't want to like see people in that state. So I like sit on the stairs, fall asleep a little bit. Next thing you know, bro, I wake up. Hold on, hold on, real quick. You decided to sleep on the stairs of all places.

Because I knew there was people downstairs like chilling. You didn't even look though? No, bro. I didn't want to see them. They'd be like, yo, Scott. And I'm just like, I'm not there right now. Like, dude, I don't want to talk to people when I'm there. Like, let me go to bed. Because then it's just like, I got to shoot this shit, pretend like I like you and shit.

Like, no, I don't want to do that. So I go on the stairs, put my head down. Next thing you know, I open my eyes. And there's like a mantle on the stairs, right? Like this. And I open my eyes. And there's just a fucking family portrait.

Like a full, like, non-dad, three kids. Oh my god, are you walking into someone's like, family house? Like, I've had friends walk into other people's apartments and sleep there.

And my eyes are just like, boom. Instantly. Don't think twice. Up and out. I'm like, this is not my friend's house. I'm out of here.

That's not true. Dude, I get a FaceTime. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. I missed a part this is not my friend's house. I'm out of here. That's not true. Dude, I get a FaceTime. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. I missed a part. I get back from the bar in Eau Claire. As I'm walking to the house. As I'm walking to the house.

No, you were in the house. Oh, okay. I'm in the house. That's true. I get back from the bar. I was at Eau Claire, so I was still at school there. I get a call from Scott FaceTime. I'm going back from the bar with my roommate, Brandon.

And I'm like, dude, where are you? Scott goes, I'm in Eau Claire. I was like, where? He bar with my roommate, Brandon. And I'm like, dude, where are you? Scott goes, I'm in Eau Claire. I was like, where? He's like, at your house. To say, I'm trying to act so cool. Yeah, like chill. Like he's like acting so cool. Like I just ran out of this house.

I'm like, bro, you're not at my house. I'm in Eau Claire. There's no way. I was like, flip the camera around. Let me see where you're at. He flips it around. Like when I say it's like the nicest, most wholesome family home I've ever seen. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like there's like literally like pictures of the kids and like the leaves. Crosses on the wall. Yes. And I'm like – Three dogs. I'm with my roommate Brandon. I'm like, you're not at my house. And that's not Eau Claire, dude.

Like there are holes in our wall. That's not it. Those are frames. And Scott's like, dude, come home. I's that's not those are frames and scott's like dude come home i'm like you gotta quiet down there's a dad i was like there's a there's a dad upstairs someone's asleep you're about to get shot yeah he's about to come down with a shotgun like every wholesome family there is a redneck fucking man part of me was like maybe he is an i don't know how i you did i was like all right maybe he is here so me Claire somehow. I don't know how. You did. I was like, all right, maybe he is here.

So me and Brandon run home from the bar, me and my roommate. We go home. Obviously, he's not there. He said we're not family pictures on our wall. But, like, dude, he turned the camera on, full family portrait, like a big-ass picture. Like, I remember it so clear, and I'm like, you've got to get out of there. That's all I remember saying and hanging on. When Brad said that, my mind flipped, and I was like, oh, shit. And then I went out of there. That's all I remember saying in the hanging up. When Brad said that, my mind flipped and I was like, oh shit. And then I went out of there.

Not even in the right state. Then I went to another gas station. I'm just sitting at the gas station. I'm just like, what the fuck? What's going on? There was this kid walking out and I'm just like, bro, can you give me a ride? He's like, no. Bro, what are you doing? What are you even doing? I'm like, dude, come on, man.

Are you doing? Like, what are you even doing? I'm like, dude, come on, man. Like, I know it's... Are you serious? You're such a fucking bitch. Me in my swap vest, he's got an ounce of weed on him. He's like, no. I'm like, bro, trust me, it's not what it looks like. Yeah, you got the wrong guy. No, but I asked him, and then he got in his car, and I'm just, like, sitting out there like a little pouty bitch.

I'm like, fuck. And he was like, all right like all right come with me and he goes where you're going. I'm just like I Don't know I was like and my friend lives at a frat. He's like oh, there's like a street with frats, and then I go there Drops me off going to every door every frat door opening up looking in friends aren't there friends aren't there open a door My friend is standing there, My friends aren't there. Open a door. My friend is standing there. And I'm just like, holy fuck. And they're like, yo, where have you been?

And I was just like, in a family's home. They're like, why did you answer? We're running their Christmas. Yeah, they're like, why did you answer? Did you not interact with that family at all? Not at all. No, not at all. They didn't hear him at all. No.

Dude, when I tell you. How does he wear security? Like, dude, are you kidding me? When I tell you I security a family dude kidding me when I tell you I was on face I'm with the shield he was screaming in their fucking living room saying come downstairs I'm like dude you're in the wrong place no but then I get back to the frat and they're like why don't you call me I'm feeling around for my phone I'm just like I don't have my phone I was like bro check my location 7.5 miles away on a random street distance in a random family's home my phone so shout out to you whatever 13 year old that is new iPhone

7 back then he's just walking down the stairs he's like but bro I lost my phone had to get a new phone the next day. It's worth it to not get fucking shot. Yeah, yeah. Honestly, at that point, when I woke up in the morning, I'd rather get shot. Dude, I remember. I have to pee so fucking bad. I remember walking back from the bar and being like, Scott, you got to get out.

Yeah. He's going to come. The dad's going to come downstairs and shoot you. Like, you got to leave. Yeah, but I swear that was my friend's house when I was going. I swear that was. I was just super tired. I was super tired.

That's your excuse, tired? Yeah, yeah. But I got charged for breaking in. No, not true, because I wasn't drinking or anything. I was just really tired. You were hammered. Oh, not true. Sleep apnea.

That's what Brian did. Can you throw a man? I'm sitting there. Like, whatever's over there. Honestly, though, like. Oh, not true. Sleep apnea. That's what Brian did. Can you throw a man? I'm sitting there. Like, whatever's over there. Honestly, though, like. Well, that's Brad. Have you heard Brad's story about how he woke up in the retirement home? Yeah.

And Brian. But I will say. I got to say, you know, I'm a fictional storyteller. That's all fake. Yeah. Nothing. Shut the fuck up. Nothing I say was true.

But that was crazy. that was crazy that was crazy yeah i i literally remember looking at scott and seeing he dude he was like this and seeing a family portrait in the background i'm like and like a like a grand staircase going up you're like bro look behind you i was like you got to turn around and get out of there that is not it honestly i don't or they were in rem they is not it. Do you think they weren't home? Honestly, I don't... Or they were in REM. They were in absolute REM. I don't think they heard him. They were in REM.

Yeah, they were mid-sleep. They just didn't hear him. Like, that's it. And that's... I don't know. Dude, I had to pee at the start of that story. I was like, this better not be long. I'm glad.

That was a great fucking story. Honestly. That was something. Yeah, that was funny. Oh, shit. We're an hour and a half. I can't go much longer. Honestly. That was something. Yeah, that was funny. Oh, shit. We're an hour and a half. I can't go much longer than this. That's all right.

Let's wrap it up. We got to keep this energy, though, for the rest of the night. Oh, yeah. We're keeping it. This is going to be so fun. By the way, you both are coming back on this. 100%. Five, sure.

It's so much fun. I laugh a lot. Isn't this fun? Yeah, it is. I love it. I'll give you props for starting your own, by the way. We were talking about that. We've been talking about it for so long.

Just never committed. I told Ernie Morgan, I said, if you want to do your Flat Earth one, go for it. And I will produce it. We did. And I will put it on. Can we talk about Ghost real quick?

Can I chime in? Ghost is the dumbest conspiracy you're gonna start talking about it's not dumb well it's not a conspiracy all right go go back outside go back outside yeah let us wrap it up just let us wrap it up you can you can tell us our thoughts after but have you ever realized i guess i don't know how to even start this have you ever experienced anything that you think is like paranormal or anything no i but i was when i was younger i was obsessed with like the ghost hunter show which is obviously a crock of shit yeah um we're like oh my god that's a guy with a cowboy hat i'm like no that's your producer who just happened to turn the corner while you're doing this um no like that i can think of no really paranormal shit. I guess like maybe because like

I've watched shows like that I've thought people have been like standing over me if it's like dark and I can't see kind of thing. Or like oh I feel like something's over me

but I haven't seen anything now. So this is gonna sound really weird but not good. I mean it's ghosts. I think only a couple anyone that listens to this

is probably like Libby and Avery Are the only people That know this And we'll end with A relative story Between you and I But you can go ahead

If you want to tell it Get this They're the only people That know it but Just preface it All of us have been friends For a long long time And like we used to like

Before we could drive Obviously we rode bikes Everywhere We got pegs on that shit So Mongoosing So we You ever put the You don't know the story You ever put the cars In your bike Charizard in there of bikes everywhere. We got pegs on that shit. Mongoosing. So we... Oh, you had to...

You ever put the cars in your bike? I took a fucking Charizard in there, bro. 250. You don't know the story between me and Scott, but so Canterbury

was our grade school. Ryan, me, Jack, Josh went there. Braxton went there. Scott didn't, but Avery Libby didn't, but whatever. We both lived in the village

when we were younger and we... I don't know how to call this. We were just both lived in the village When we were younger And we I don't know how to call that We were just fucking riding around Yeah we were just riding around And we went He lived like a street away from me So

Yeah We became homies And just rode our mongooses around Yeah Put some bitches on the pegs And shit Whatever No bitches but

So we Like there was like this Back parking lot area To Canterbury Like where That basketball court was. And, yeah, you know that area. But, so, there's, like, just this little section, like, behind the school, kind of. And Scott and I went there one day.

Or we met there. I don't even know what it was. We were ripping around. We just picked up some Mambas and some Fiji water. Yeah. Yeah. And we get there and we were just like do you remember the hoop back there it was literally like probably five foot yeah right so you know i'm not lying it was five foot literally this hoop was like five foot back there and then there was a playground and like scott and i are just like i don't even know what we were doing, just fucking around.

We were just cruising, because there's that trail back there. What else could you do at, like, 10 and 12? Yeah. No. That's all you could do. We were cruising. We're going to go to that trail. Then you see the five-foot hoop.

You're like, I'm going to dunk on this shit. We're going to dunk. We're going to throw it out. Yeah, yeah. And then we, like, got off our bikes. We're sitting there, just, like, fucking around. And then all of a sudden,

I don't know if it was you. It was you. You go, like, turn around. Look in the window of the school bro like okay never mind i do have a story no i'm being dead ass seriously i swear to god like swear to god you've never heard this swear to god scott goes look in the window we look and it's this old woman's face and you remember the low windows in the back back there? The windows are probably four feet high.

They're low. They're low, but they're tall. We're there on a... Dude, we're there on a Sunday at noon or something like that. It's the Lord's Day. It's the creepiest day. You can't say it was a real human.

Dude, no. We look and Lord's Day. It's the creepiest day. You can't say it was a real human. This shit was... Dude, no. We look, and Scott's like, who is that? We turn and look. It wasn't, I know,

Miss Benet and that fucking milk girl that popped the fucking milks open. Yes, that's what I'm talking about. It wasn't them. I'm telling you, it wasn't them. Shit.

That's your only answer. I have to say something. And Scott, and we look at this, and it's just this old lady just smiling at us And she's like four feet high just her face All black and white And it's like that

Like I swear to god Avery and Libby are the only people I know It's cause we told it to them and we were like Just like crying Not actually crying but it's just like chills and shit Holy shit I believe that happened 100%. Yeah.

I remember standing by the hoop and looking at this window. It was like a whole building of like little windows, little rectangle windows. I was like done fucking around and I just like look back and I'm just like for like five seconds. I'm just like. And I was like, what are you doing? Brad, look at this shit. And I look and I'm like. And it's just his head floating, just like fucking drifting.

And it's not tall enough to even be... A human. Yeah. Yeah. It's like literally this high. Like, it's tiny. So watch this video. No.

It's not scary. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. And then, let's see it. Let's see it. Hey. Thanks. Out.

We'll see if it's similar. What is this? Where is this? One of Brooke's really good friends in college was home. It's about ghosts. Yeah, but let's see it real quick. Let's see it real quick. Okay, and she posted on her story.

And someone was like, dude, get out of your house. There's someone in there. She was home alone, okay? Watch. Did you see? Oh, I went too fast. Watch right in this hallway right here, okay? Needs security.

What was that? All right, give it to me now. It's fucked up. So she calls the cops. Cops come, search her entire place, and there's no signs of her. I didn't see anything. Where am I looking? Watch the hallway.

I looked like the dog's tail. I think I saw. I actually did. I know. She's going. What the fuck was that? And that's like a human. There's a head. There's tail. I think I saw. I actually did. I don't know. She's going. What the fuck was that? And that's like a human. Like there's a head.

There's like. How fucked is that? No way. That is a full on like dementor. Yeah. Yeah. I saw that. Oh.

So. Scott and I look at this and there's. Dude it was summer. There was no one in this fucking school I'm telling you dude oh so it was a school building that they that they went to

it was our old elementary school that's what I was asking is this like an abandoned building no and we were like like I look at this and I'm like

I thought of like oh it's Miss Vinay like our first grade teacher or I don't even know who the other names are. But other people. And I'm like, I've never seen this person in my life.

And she just keeps staring at us. And staring at us. And staring at us. And then Scott and I are like. Like I waved to this thing at one point. And nothing. You don't even see shoulders, dude. Just the head.

And we hopped on the mongooses. Home. We didn't even talk to each other. didn't talk for like yeah months yeah i literally didn't hit scott up for two months send me that video now that's creepy and like the really dude that was alarming yeah that's the fact that it was just a head though yeah dude it was it like you said it was moving dude no it was just fucking sitting there but no it was like it Was it like you said it was moving? Dude, no. It was just fucking sitting there. But no, it was like Could you make the face

out at all? Yeah, you could see that shit. when we told if Avery and Libby are listening we told them this separate. They do.

100%. When we told them this separate we told them what it looked like separate. Yeah. And it's the same

fucking person. Same thing. Yes. Yeah. See, I won't even save this video on my phone. Dude, that freaks me the fuck out. I don't know if it was...

And I don't... That talk both was tough. I don't really fully believe in that stuff, but it's also like... I don't know. I think shit's going on. I'm going to just tell myself it was like the fifth grade teacher vaping or something. Yeah. Fresh out of...

Ahead of the curve. Ahead of the curve. She had a jewel before anyone else It was just that fog The CEO of jewels And I was like This is kind of good We're like wow

Fucking old lady head The only thing I've had And I think I've again Said it on here before But It was We did the Mary No Hall We actually as a group

If we all like ghosts Or are intrigued by it we should do that this weekend I'm good I want to do that stuff oh yeah it's the Maryknoll house and it's on the lake I'll do that with you

I mean do you know what this is? I have no idea it's been like since my dad was a kid but the rumor has it it's been like since my dad was a kid but the rumor has it this wife husband and son went out

to I wanted to say sea but it's Lake Michigan basically the ocean went out to sea Moby Dick but no they went out into the lake and they never came back. And so she went insane, and she did all this artwork and bullshit,

and they thought it was like how she was possessed, or she went insane. It's probably just how she coped with losing the two most important people in her life. That'd be the rational thought. Oh, 100%. But, I mean, she littered her lawn with it I'm talking like if you came here and every part of the grass was covered with like statues and none of them

made sense kind of thing and they turned it into a museum and so my dad got it for a book one Christmas and I was like hey I was in high school too and I was like let's let's fucking go so we went and the only experience I have with what I thought was and it was like let's let's fucking go so we went and the only experience i have with what i thought was and it was like almost movie paranormal is we get to i couldn't find the house because we went

late at night and it is to get there you're going down streets where it goes like this hills up here and woods and houses are on top of the fucking hills. Just like with one line. Like, this is fucking creepy. Like, we break down. We're either dead, vampires, I don't know. Like, someone's going to fucking shoot us. Or like, we're going to join a cult. It's one of those like...

Yeah, I was going to say, you're going to come across like a clan meeting. Like, Dom is still alive. We're like, whatever. Hey, welcome to the gang. You're ready to munch 414 for life jeffree star is just gonna fuck them you're ready to just munch and so i'm trying to find the house and the address it was already creepy enough is the address that's in the book is not the right

address for the house and it takes us to these like where is this uh i'll look it up is it in wisconsin yes in wisconsin oh okay it's probably 20 minutes from here 20 25 minutes in there next And it takes us to these, like – Where is this? I'll look it up. Is it in Wisconsin? Yeah, it's in Wisconsin. Oh, okay. It's probably 20 minutes from here. 20, 25 minutes. What the fuck? We're going there tonight?

Coming up next. Coming up next. And change our ideas. Yeah, we're out of this because we're approaching two hours. I'm trying to find it, and I'm like, all right, this is it. And I'm just like, all right, I'm going to circle around to the end of – and the house that this habit has is at the dead end. So Maryknoll's here, dead end's here, the house I'm just like all right i'm gonna circle around to the end of yeah and the house that this habit is at the dead end so mary noel's here dead ends here the house i'm talking about is right here and i stop and i go all right how do you want to do this because people live around

this house like just genuinely live around this house right and i don't want to park because people report people that are trying to get onto the property and i same as you go dude look in the window and just because we're already freaked out you just see a figure of a person looking out the window and i'm like look at it and then the lights just turn off once we all look i go oh that was cool like we're already freaked out turn off i go to the end of the cul-de-sac And I shit you not You know like a sunroom In someone's back of your house Like everything

It's like glass windows Glass storm door All that shit Yeah It is three little girls In white dresses I'm out Like out of a movie

Douche Douche Douche And I mean Three hits I'm telling you That's all it takes Abnormally

Abnormally Abnormally Abnormally Abnormally Abnormally Abnormally Abnormally Abnormally Abnormally that's all it takes. Abnormally, abnormally. And by the way, I don't see a parent. It's just three girls dancing around. What the fuck is that? You got the wrong guy.

He got the wrong dog. We went down and we still got out and went to this lady's house. I'm freaked the fuck out. And it's on the beach too. So like we went on the beach and people like hopped the fence to get in it i didn't end up on the property because i was a fucking bitch in high school i didn't want like oh we're gonna get arrested we're gonna get in trouble all that bullshit and i had one friend that went like you know was it oak or whatever what's that called down by the water i don't't know. Do you know Haunchyville? Do you know Haunchyville?

I haven't heard that in so long. What are they called? Not the storm drain. It's the storm drain where you can walk through it, but all the shit just goes into the lake. And you can literally walk into it. I had one from like, Sean, where are you? And he goes, I'm down here. And he was, in my head, half a mile into this fucking thing.

I go dude that is where the lizard people live we're gonna die the demodogs are down there the demodogs the demodogs that was mine

the ones I saw it's the children that do it for me yeah that's crazy yeah that fucks me up into like the innocent I'm like

if I get close you're gonna turn your head and it's gonna be like a demon face or the devil I don't like that shit we gotta end this we're at 143 and to think you started off saying

I don't believe in ghosts I really I mean here we are I didn't say I don't believe in ghosts oh you haven't had I just haven't had a real like that kind of your experience yeah before we end it you guys can have your final thoughts anything you want to say about what we did I'm gonna wait until next season that I have your final thoughts. Anything you want to say about what we did. I'm going to wait until next season

that I have last final segments. Well, you can go if you want. This was a lot of fun. It doesn't have to be about this. Anything you want to say, go for it. No, this was a lot of fun. It's going to be about this. It's just lit.

And if you don't like my clips in here, you hate your family. And if you don't listen to it you seriously like beat your mom Yeah, yeah Support cuz this is gonna be like Yeah, yeah, yeah if you don't like your husky mad props are starting his own Yeah, you want to do it if you're talking shit. Yeah it yourself and do yourself do yourself like it or you hate We're good we're good a percent of my god there goes the cameras we're done. Oh, thanks guys