Fat Chance Podcast - Ep.17 - Andrew Cuske & Kyle Lewis

Episode Date: June 16, 2021

SEASON 2! Michael's little brother Andrew and his buddy Kyle join the podcast for this weeks episode. 

You're choosing? No, I don't care. You don't care? No. Just talk into the microphone. That is your camera right there. Like this close? I mean, bring it a little closer.

Remember, the table's on 2x4s right now. But yeah, talk into it. Better than Joe Rogan's studio? This is way better than Rogan's studio. I am sweating my nuts off Yeah it's better Where'd you work today? Where'd you work today?

East Troy, Sussex Damn Yeah we were out in that one Figured you guys were there You guys don't work together Oh no you told me that You don't work together? Oh, no. You told me that. You don't work together?

Occasionally. I thought it was just like one. You can't pick your crew? That's what I'm saying. Because otherwise, I'd work with Kuski every day. Yeah. That's weird. I think I drink four locos every day.

While he's working? Yeah. He drinks four locos while he's working. Shut up. I'm not kidding. Whenever I see. How many? Like two on average.

Two four locos a day while you're doing lighting work? Keeps doctors away. Yeah, but like the funeral home is knocking at his fucking door. Yeah. Wait, what's this guy's name? My name. Shut up. You have four locos while you're working?

No, that's not me His name is Andrew Oh my god He said my name Dude I can't drink four locos I'm like That's So this man is ripped

Yeah The entire time he's working Yeah Pretty much How many Hope he doesn't see this Does he have Does he do like the gold four locos

Aren't those the worst ones No He drinks fruit punch I always take a snap Cause I always send in Our group chats Saying like flavor of the day Cause like he'll have like

He likes the Move that a little closer do you He likes the lemonade too Yeah the lemonade Or you can go closer Doesn't matter So fruit punch and lemonade Flavor of the day Yeah What's the gold one flavored red bull piss

yeah oh it's just like energy drink yeah it's disgusting that's disgusting all of them are but they do get you hammered have you guys apparently so he's not even drunk no he's constantly sips on it throughout the day it's like it's i guess when it's this hot out too you're gonna sweat through it but like if i drank beer all day with this hot out i don't think i'd ever feel drunk just i think it would just go right through my skin no literally i was uh bartending at a graduation and i was like drinking the whole time and literally i felt sober because i was just so hot like that and it's the bartender effect when you know you have to serve someone. You're just like, I'm concentrated on this and that's it. When I worked

and I was inside air conditioning, what are you looking around for, Andrew? You live here too. You live here too. I never sat in a garage this long. You've been here for five minutes. No, it's three minutes. It just crossed. Huh? You've been here for three minutes.

Fucking panda hat, baby mask. Yeah, I'm trying to throw little things in. You should design this wall, have your own back. Well, you know those changing things you see? Like people stand behind in movies? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Our grandma had one of those. Steven's going to paint it for me. I'll just put it back there. Yeah. Which I think would be movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Our grandma had one of those and Steven's going to paint it for me.

I'll just put it back there. Yeah. Which I think would be nice, but. Yeah, definitely. Because you got the whole like actual just normal garage type. It's, yeah, it's, I mean, yeah. God, we got a kayak.

Yeah. Well, good thing it's also not a kayak. It's a paddleboard. Paddleboard. Boat. Who cares? Nope, not a boat either. Same shit.

Goes on the water. It floats. That would have been good. Whose is that? That's our aunt who gave it to me who multiple times said she wants it back

but has yet to come get it or text me about it. I was thinking it would be like Steven's just him randomly buying some stupid shit. I use it a decent amount

in Madison. We just take it down to Mendota. Since we got in here, it's not like I'm going to strap it to my car. I don't have anything to strap it to my car with. Steven sold his truck. He sold his truck?

What did he get then? Nothing. We have our grandma's car, so he'll use that or my mom's. Until he gets a new one. Did mom tell you when he sold the truck, the guy called him on the way back and it broke down? Shut up. Yeah, he sold it. He drove it home, worked fine, sold it, got the money. He drove it. He got on the freeway halfway home.

Called him and goes, dude, something broke. I don't know what it was. Smart guy. So what did he have to do something broke. I don't know what it was. So what do you have to do? Did he have to go and fix it? No, Stephen's like, not my problem, not my truck. Oh, shit. I'm assuming that's what he said. He just didn't reply. I was at a baseball bat with Barb Ware.

Oh yeah, you want to get that? That just appeared out of nowhere. You probably built that when you were fucking young. I didn't fucking build that. That is Steven to a T. He's the only one to go out and buy actual barbed wire to wrap around a baseball bat.

That is my bat too though. Dude, chill out. That story when they... I guess he's ready for a zombie apocalypse. They tied you up on the chair oh Joe that's probably the funniest story I've heard Joe and Steven

let's hear it what I can't get on this fucking stool we'll stop using the bat to get up when they zip tied me and threw me in a closet we'll speak up and let's hear this one

when I was dude that's it you don't remember that Steven and Joe zip tied me and threw me in a closet. Well, speak up and let's hear this one. Dude, that's it. You don't remember that? Steven and Joe zip-tied me and threw me in a closet. And then they left, though. They went to Zach. And then I came home. And found me in the closet. I'm surprised you didn't kill someone.

Was he your mouth, like, duct tape, too, or some shit? Probably. I don't know. I was super young. No, Dad, like, screamed across the whole neighborhood. I don't remember that at all. That's unreal. Sucks to suck. Joe Brucker. Yeah.

Who you hang out with more now. Yeah. Joe used to. I got Joe on this. Joe. Joe can come on. Joe used to. You remember Joe used to just like stay at people's houses for like weeks to a month

at a time. He did that in Arizona. Yeah. He did. Literally did that. He to a month at a time yeah he did literally did that garbage bag oh yeah bottles off the balcony when they throw a party and it landed on right and broke it and so he shaved his hair threw a mustache out and moved in with us for a month because he thought the cops were gonna fucking catch him that seems a bit excessive he was going berserk that night Like literally right when that happened He was trying to just fight everybody

He threw like a shit ton of Corona bottles In his room on the ground And like broke the lamp and stuff It was just This is at his house when he was doing it Yeah Hot I mean hot At the end of the

Your guys' Arizona adventure It was like two of you You started with like what Six or eight? Yeah. Everybody was just going back home. I started with seven, and then Jonah made eight, and then there was... He didn't even pay anything. I don't even know how he

lived with us. Because I think he threw me like $100 for that whole semester of him living there. A $1,500 electric bike? He rode it the next day and never touched it again. Rode it once and just popped it. Didn't fucking touch it.

Just sat on the balcony for six months. No, it was in our apartment at first. That was the worst part. Yeah, probably spent enough money to fix it on booze over the next, what, two, three months? No, he'd always ask me for, like, eggs and shit.

Like, he never, like... We didn't drink that much. He couldn't afford eggs? It was, like, weird. Like, he'd only just, like, vape and, like he never like he couldn't afford eggs it was like weird like he'd only just like vape and like literally eat ramen and eggs all day long holy college no wonder you came back looking like skin and bones no that's because i stopped drinking ate one meal a day and smoked weed like nine times a day he was dieted champions when we were leaving Arizona Cause I had a flight early morning And then he had

His was like later on I thought I drank fast That's going down quick for you I keep it going Apple doesn't fall far from the tree He literally was begging me To ask some of my buddies on the football team To get a weed

And he was literally like He was like crawling on the floor and shit. I had no weed for the last day before winter break. You were fiending. That's when you know you're smoking too much. He was addictive at that point. I had fucking nothing to do, dude. It was me and Kyle.

Or no, he left like a day before me, so I would have been by myself. What am I going to do? The fact that you two were ever even in college amazes me. Yeah. Dude, I had good grades. You did also one semester. No, I did too. And Gen Ed.

There was only the Gen Eds part. You did too. So you did the second most college out of us siblings with one year. Yes, sir. Stephen barely. Stephen did a semester. He didn't even do the semester. He didn't even do the semester.

He barely went to class. Let's be honest so you lasted longer than i thought and steven lasted longer than i thought yeah i'm surprised steven didn't come back after the first week and he lived with the tribe yeah so like i don't know how that all went we're getting much done no absolutely not literally nothing that was funny though because they lived right next to us in the dorm so we'd always chill. I'm sweaty.

I'm sweaty too. I have to go to a 5th and 6th grade end of the year party after this. Why? For who? Because I coach lacrosse. So it's the end of the year party. We still have games this weekend. Those are those jerseys you're wearing what

are these from chad and brad so who's chad is brad because i have two of these jerseys i don't know how you are brad you are chad for sure um i don't even know the difference it just feels right um but no joel and i we did one, I think after we were into college. It's a Brewtown Showdown tournament. We got a bunch of us together, and we just made these jerseys. And, like, all right, these are our pennies for the tournament. It was, like, Coakley on your team and stuff? Yeah.

It was, like, me, him, Steven, Coakley. Everyone, like, we played with were kind of, like, alum or, like. I think me andake were the youngest yeah and now and probably no offense the worst at the time jake right now like i know but jake right now would be the best person to have on team d1 athlete yeah um in new york playing lacrosse jersey sorry kia nit Sorry. Kia. And IT. And IPGIT. That's it. But no, I want to get another group together and do it.

That's what me and Kiki are trying to do. I was looking them up. You guys couldn't even drink at the time. I couldn't. No, I couldn't either. None of us could. I was going to say. Not one person on the team could.

And they had kegs in the middle for everyone to drink between games. Do you remember? I don't even remember that. Do you remember? I think it was the second game we played. it was the dude with the world's fastest shot at the time yeah we played him worldwide world like world record fastest shot we're like what the fuck are we playing right now and then another dude was like 60 on their team yep then chad fry tears his acl for a summer pickup I mean, he tried stopping at midfield.

Boom, his knee buckles. Over he goes. It was one of those things where, like, you see him run, and he falls, and he just looks super uncoordinated when he falls. So everyone starts laughing, and then he, like, goes for his knee. We go, ha, fuck. Yeah, like, I don't remember that. And Mom went with him to the hospital, I believe.

I completely forgot, yeah. Where did we start with this? Oh, yeah, Joe Brucker staying at people's places for three weeks to a month. He did that when we were younger. Yeah, he did it when we were older. It was McKenna's is where he stayed, him and Matt. He stayed at McKenna's? Oh, my God.

He stayed in the neighborhood. Yeah. But McKenna's, I mean, he lived in their basement For I want to say Three weeks to a month Out of crap And we're finally Like they're like Joe do you

Can you go home Do you have parents Like oh they're gone Or I just don't want to go home Whatever Toucan Sam Toucan Superman What was his

Toucan Superman Toucan Superman Yeah Is this still Toucan Superman What does that mean No this is Xbox 360 Gamertag Oh Michael was Toucan Sam? What does that mean? No, this is Xbox 360. Michael was Toucan Sam. This is OG Monkey Joe.

OG Monkey Joe. And then you had Bad Cheeto. Who's Bad Cheeto? Zach Hallett. I feel like he's been like that for a while. I haven't played those games in forever. I'm the best at those games. I know you are.

Chill out. Let's be honest, he probably is. He is good. I hear him scream at those games. I know you are. Chill out, fucking best. Let's be honest, he probably is. He is good. I hear him fucking scream at you guys, like, do this, do that. I'm like, either you guys suck or he's a dick. And it's probably both. It's both. It's probably both.

Because, like, he's consistent, but, like, once he gets into an attitude, oh, my God, there's no way you're getting him out of it. Once little Timmy from fucking New Hampshire starts talking shit, dude, I'm leaning. You were so bad when I first moved back. You were so bad. I was writing shit down. I was going to make a bit out of you. That he was saying?

Just shit he was saying. Like the things that come up, and none of it ever made sense. That's the whole point. I'm like, if i released any of this i'm like no one would talk to you again you're getting canceled for playing fucking video games i know everyone does it i just think it's hysterical i'd be sitting watching like impractical jokers on the tv and in the back of your fuck your mom you little ass pussy yeah you little bitch tit what like are they saying this on the TV?

They're saying the hard-on. Who, you? No, they are. You better not be. Let me just quick admit that to everyone. No, that's what they're screaming. Everyone's blatantly racist and homophobic down there. Every cod, literally, it's like that. Ever since MW2 and stuff.

Most people are a little too cocky and confident behind a fucking camera or microphone or a computer screen. Because they live like fucking thousands of miles away. Yeah, what I mean, like when you're talking the racial slurs and the homophobic comments. This, I mean, please don't do it on here. I think this is a family-friendly channel. Why the fuck would I say that? I'm going to pass on that one. I don't need to get canceled.

What would you get canceled from? Where is this? I have two listeners. It's me when I re-watch it and my mom. It's actually bigger than the first show we did which is nice

it's everywhere so this will go obviously with the cameras Apple, Spotify YouTube, Google Apple to like post your shit? no I mean Apple's getting free content

true although this is great content i make it sound like oh i'm providing them with the greatest thing in the world but at the end of the day they're not going to charge someone to put stuff up there because people are subscribing to it they this is stuff they don't have to pay for to put on their platform so do you get paid like every subscription or like how does that work eventually um well not subscriptions no it's it's a lot of different things between sponsors and stuff like that there is one company that has messaged me three or four times now really yeah i don't think it's a legit company oh yeah actually i know it's not a legit

company it's uh it's called smooth my balls it's like the roundies brand of Manscaped. I can read you the message. Smooth My Balls. It's called Smooth My Balls. Three different people have messaged the account on Instagram for it. Like, hey, we've looked over your account. We'd love to work with you. Please message us. We'll get back to you as soon as possible.

Have you messaged them at least? No. First of all, if you want to work with someone and you're like quote-unquote influencer bullshit yeah i'm pretty sure you're not gonna be like we'll get back to you as soon as possible be like hey we want to do this we do this with you also the person messaging me has zero posts zero followers oh yeah follows no one i'm like if this company wants to work with me at least the company company profile is going to be like, hey, we'd like to work with you. So Smooth My Balls, you can lick my balls because I am not fucking working with you.

You haven't said your joke. Say it to the camera. It's not a joke. It's for you. You can say it to the Smooth My Balls people. Ask them if they've ever heard of a slaw bunny. A slaw bunny? slaw bunny slaw bunnies nuts i should have opened up with that oh my god yeah imagine hearing that this show just took a dip in my race i've gone from two listeners to one and mom is now gone

literally at six in the morning. Honestly, last night was pretty funny when we were at the Mecca. Oh, yeah. How was it? Dude, that was a great, I mean, very low scoring game, but I watched the last six minutes. That was pretty fucking exciting.

How was that? Good beers. Yeah, good beers. Expensive, but good. Okay, so when you were texting me last night, by the way, your jersey is exactly where it was. I didn't know where the fuck it was.

Yeah, over your rocking chair. What was I going to say? Did you guys actually go to the game? No, to the Mecca. Okay, so I thought he said he was going to the game. So I'm like, how the fuck did you guys get tickets? Because I'm pretty sure it was out. But did you have a table at the Mecca then too?

No, you can actually stand again. Oh, you can. Yeah, we were outside by like the, it's called the Deer Garden, I believe. Deer District. Or Deer District. Dude, that was packed. Yeah.

No, it was nuts. The actual. And then the night turned to shit later on. I thought it was pretty good. It was funny. Where'd you go afterwards? Well, we went to like, so this is what happened.

So we went to like Trinity and then whatever happened and then I left somehow So we went to Trinity and then whatever happened. And then I left somehow. And I went to my car. And I slept in my car in the parking lot. Which one do you want? Yeah, I slept in my car in the parking lot. Woke up at like 540.

Was totally confused where I was. And then I'm pulling up to my driveway. Nice toss. And we have a van and it's part it was parked in our driveway and I pull up six o'clock I look to the right he's coming out of my van he's walking out of my van Jesus Christ and the thing that confused me is that Vans always locked like so I don't know how he got he might want to check the door handles one might be off yeah honestly and then i look at my car there's a there's a quick trip sign on top it looks like i'm delivering pizza they put over the concrete pillars that say

chicken or pizza you put that on my stole that and then i look at my window i gotta get that for here yeah you do i want that right here it's huge It's like bigger than a table. It is pretty big. But then I look at my window. Go get that. That's going like right in his garage. Hopefully he didn't throw it away. Nah, if anything, it's right there. The garbage man don't come right now. But I looked at my window and I see broccoli cheddar soup just splattered all over it.

That wasn't me. That was not me. There was like three things in the soup. There was like chili. Did you bring a homeless man back to? Guess so So hon let me get this straight you guys went to the Bucs game at 630 at night You got there a little early as my dad said no we got there late cuz I had to pick up a buddy at the airport Okay

Then went to Trinity. No, then we went to the Mecca Or like the garden And then yeah, Trinity And then darkness Yeah Literally like after the first drink And then work Yeah, how was work? Dog shit

I'm surprised someone didn't pass out I mean fucking Kyle Not Kyle, Kyle random name Oh Andrew Andrew the Four Loko guy How does he not die? I mean fucking Kyle who not Kyle I've called random name but your who's your Oh Andrew Andrew the four loco guy how does he not died it was he oh he had to have been out there yeah he was not there today was he in the backseat of the minivan no you guys ever yeah he's old this story's getting worse for other Andrew. 29, kid, 2-4 locos a day.

Two kids. Healthy. Do you think he makes it to 35? No. I don't know. I'll give him 42. 42? 42?

Half a life? 42. I don't remember that video. 42. 42. Half a life. 42. Remember that video? No. Oh, Darren Sharper. Yeah, I remember that. Darren Sharper. Safety in the league.

I wanted to bring this up because I mentioned it last episode. I saw guys in Target with squirt guns. Oh, the Paranoia? Paranoia game. Yeah. Now, what are you chewing on? The cap? Mm-hmm.

Okay. I hate when you do that shit. So, I brought up you climbing on the roof. That had to do with the Paranoia game, right? What roof? This one. And then Mom almost gets evicted. Yeah. Yeah. How then mom almost gets evicted. Yeah.

Yeah. How? She almost got evicted? They weren't going to. They can't. But how did you get up there? Why? Like, who was chasing you?

I didn't go up there. I thought you did go up there. Dan went out there. We might have both went up there. You definitely were up there. No, I think we just... Through the window? We just fucking opened the window right there. It might have both went out there. You definitely were up there. No, I think we just... Threw the window? We just fucking opened the window right there.

Right off the edge of the window. Oh, yeah, because it does... The roof is here. I'm thinking you, like, went on the balcony, all back, and then, like, jumped. I'm like, that's fucking dangerous. I'm not a fucking monkey. I thought you hopped off Murphy's truck,

like, right out front, and then just jumped. Nah, I just went out the window right there. Makes sense. Did you just take the screen off? Yeah. And then Madonowski and Murphy was the ones that came here that was trying to get us. Why would like your like opponents though come to your house? No clue man. Cause like you're all the way in New Berlin so like. We won that though. Did you really? Yeah. Was there a prize to that? Yeah. I think everybody got like $120. Oh, you all put money in for it too?

Yeah. Wow. Who held on to it? Or did people actually own up and pay you at the end? So are you talking about your year or? The year that I won. That you joined with us. Like our year.

You guys were seniors. I was a junior. Carson Blazak. Blazak. No, because Blazak was on my team. True. I think Chris Rafalski had it. Yeah, it was Chris Rafalski.

And then I ran the account the next year. That's more impressive is that someone's willing to hold on to it, not spend it, and give it up. Or like everyone's willing to pay. You can't play unless you pay. Okay. The thing that sucked is it was always complaining like like if girls are wearing like uh duct tape on their nipples and you shot it like that's how it should count and like they were like always bitching about that and stuff like that like

there were so many rules it was so annoying but it was it was fun at them for the most part we're talking about we didn't do that that happened i think the year after us or two years after us yeah because it was two years after us because the year above me and the year below me i think we all did scavenger hunts okay yeah like yeah i know like so fun so fun why didn't we didn't even know the paranoia shit like that we're like going to neighbors pools get like handcuffed shit bullshit like that. Or like going to neighbor's pools, get like handcuffed, shit, bullshit like that. What about handcuffed? And like kiss a, whatever.

Yeah, kiss someone. Yeah. Um, I did a scam during college, but that was for like fraternity hazing.

That was way more, that was way more interesting and fun. What'd you have to do for that? Fuck a hooker. Something like that. that went dark,

real quick. No, um, I got, kill a hooker. like that that went dark real quick no um i got a killer hooker fair fair fair i got no there was dumb ones it was uh the reverse mohawk so like the idea of it was um at the time it's we're getting it's hell week it's like, all right, if you guys win the scavenger hunt, you're going to get, like, an easier time for the night. Other than the rest of the. So was it, like, teams? So, yeah.

So you're, like, groups of four. Okay. In our, like, pledge class. There's, like, 30 of us. The advisement group is, like, four or five. I'm like, all right, whoever gets the most points. You have a time limit. Whoever does the most stuff in the time and has has the most points like it's gonna have it easier

we all knew damn well we like no one's getting an easier time there's like go do something for six hours well yeah we fuck off and we're like all right screw it we'll have fun with it i mean there were dumb ones like um like the easiest ones were. We'll have fun with it. I mean, there were dumb ones. Like, um, like the easiest ones were, I mean, order ice cream, grab it by the top, which was like the bare minimum things you could do. Like that was at the,

that's what you did at the time. Penny's going to try and walk in here again. She does every fucking episode. Um, then there was, I got slapped with a piece of pizza. I had my dick out in college court With a sock on And just like twirling it around

Yeah He's your brother I didn't need to hear that one There's One kid got a reverse mohawk Like We're thinking People are like

Some people believed That We're actually getting Like we could basically Sleep in a bed yeah um and so like someone do the reverse mohawk you only need one person so people like if someone in every group was like i got it and just stand in a room and put random ingredients in a cup and pass it down and drink it i can neither confirm nor deny i couldn't leave the room until every ingredient

was gone there's a shit ton of mayonnaise in there. You can believe what you want. Okay. Yeah. But, yeah. And so, like, and then the worst part was the people who had the reverse Mohawks. At the end, they're like, you can't get rid of it until you're done with this semester. And it was, like, the reason. Yeah, the semester.

So, you had. The frats that got terminated. Yeah. Oh, that. Most people started getting. Dude, that's so life-comparative. Wait, all their frats got, like, terminated as well? Yeah, that... Most people started getting... Dude, that's so... Wait, all their frats got, like... Yeah, kicked off eventually, yeah.

But that's... Like, Wisconsin hazing is minimal compared to people in the South or anything like that. I don't think Stefan had to do hazing in Arizona or, like... Who do you think that is? That or he just didn't tell you.

But it was clutch for them that... When he, like, got... When he joined, he could when he joined, he could have those kids clean his fucking house. Oh, yeah. That was kind of cool. I was one of those kids that had to clean houses for a while. If you had a party at a satellite house, you basically just were like, hey, you six, come over, clean my house. People just watch TV, and there'd be like six buses yeah sweeping mopping cleaning up cups doing dishes shit like that that's annoying fucking god i didn't go to

college i don't got patience for that shit dude it was so fun definitely i was talking about like honestly college is probably worth the cost just because you have like the experience it depends i think i think being 100k that sucks yeah but you had four years of fun yeah i'm having fucking fun it depends so like if you're okay so if you're paying for it completely and you go in undecided you really don't know what you want to do then it's it's like i'm 50 50 because you might be able to decide what you want to do, then it's, it's like, I'm 50, 50. Cause you might be able to decide what you want to do. You might not. And then it's like, fuck,

I just spent a hundred thousand dollars to drink party. And I'm in the same place I was four years ago. I just killed four years kind of thing. Yeah. If you want to be a doctor, engineer, lawyer, school,

you have to, you obviously have to. Um, I mean, I view it as like, I mean, I found the greatest people and a ton of connections

so for me I think college was worth it but a lot of people I'm like what the fuck I was just with I visited Connor out in Denver two weekends ago

and then I hang out with Jake Heilman like every fucking weekend. Oh, yeah. Did you have long hair when I came? I don't know. Well, when I came one time, you had somebody else like helping you out with a podcast. Was that him? Long hair. Like blonde? I don't know.. Was that him? Long hair. Like, blonde.

I don't know. It looked like he had longer hair. Blonde, long hair. Maybe the Ringlebergs? Maybe. Uh-huh. The Ringledicks? Josh and...

Josh and Jack. Jack. They're good shit. Why do you guys... Who? I just know him because of football and then also... My cousin went to Greendale, so I knew them from that.

What the fuck are you looking at? That's going to be a bitch to do. You're talking in the back of the microphone. I was wondering why I couldn't hear you the whole time. You just said that now. Yeah, we're 30 minutes in. I'll figure it out. Wait, how can you tell that you couldn't hear?

No, no, no, no, no. So, see how it's sideways? I want it like this. So, you see, this is back right there. I want you talking into that side. Can you just see, like, the volume go up? Yeah, I can see the volume. So, that's going to be really fucking annoying to do.

30 minutes of me saying nothing? Yeah, I can see the volume. So that's going to be really fucking annoying to do. 30 minutes of me saying nothing, dude. Yeah, basically nothing. You guys are kind of soft-spoken, but I can fix that. Fucking turn it up. I will. You got the duct tape rig? Yeah, these are really cheap.

Well, the stands are really cheap. The microphones are not. Where the fuck did you get three cameras? What? That's what I was saying. That's gotta be money, no? Mm-hmm. Did you buy them all?

That's a waste of money. It's not. How much fucking alcohol you could get? You have fun doing this, though. All the gas you can put in your car. Yeah, but I think this is worth it. You could go on vacation a couple times. Not a couple times. How much was each camera? Have you had gain on here? Yeah, I've had gain on here. You could go on vacation a couple times. Not a couple times.

How much was each camera? Have you had gain on here? Yeah, I've had gain on here. How much was each camera? Gain's been on this once. I'm not saying how much each camera. I'll tell you off the mic. Dude, I'm going to Vegas in two weeks.

And the whole trip, minus the booze and the gambling I'm about to fucking throw down the drain, was like $500. Yeah. These have got to be more than 500 each or at least around there. That's three trips to Vegas. How about this? Think of it this way. That's three one-time trips. I have these for the rest of my life. That's what I thought too when I got my camera and guess where

that is? Somewhere in North Dakota. That's because you sold it and didn't want to use it anymore. I sold my Xbox for fucking liquor too. That's an alcohol. That sounds pretty fucking bad. Nah, far right. Well, you never played Xbox, didn't you? Let me try

that. Oh, this is a good one. There's more in there. These are pretty good. Go to the big Truly box and see what's in there. Seltzer peaches are good. Yeah, the fruit punch packs are good. No, I saw that because I was still in high school and didn't have a job. That's fair.

Did you not work in high school? Was I the only one? No, I worked at the parks. He worked at the parks. He did the parks. And I worked at Maddie's. He broke a lot of shit. But that was, like, when did you start working?

I broke one fucking thing. Dude, you literally fucked up that golf cart. I started, like, going into junior year. Going into junior year? Right after. The summer after sophomore year right because I think I called you I was like yo do you want a job yeah yeah summer after sophomore year worked at the parks and then after that was my mom

and dad weren't forcing you to get a job were they no but I was poor yeah was I the only one that they're like you need to go get a job and it was where the oldest right after I'm young you're like go get a job. And it was weird. You're the oldest. Right after freshman year, it's like, go get a job. Like, pick and save or something? They don't give a fuck. No, everyone and their mother worked at that pick and save down the street. I hate pick and save. We used to take bets.

And when I'd go with my mom, like, how many people do I know over, under seven every time? Easily. And it's like, I know every cashier and bagger, all right? I might even know the fucking manager. See the guy in produce? I have math with him. Yeah. Jody? I was the youngest, math with him. Yeah. Jody?

I was the youngest, so they didn't care. Jody was. He was always the best. Steven didn't get one in high school at all, I think. I doubt it. I don't. I did. I. No, I worked. People always ask me what the fuck you guys do. I don't know. I worked. I worked in a warehouse all of

high school and a little into college. Dog shit. This one one that looks like the truly version of a gold for loco yeah i was gonna say why is this one gold they're both lemonade tea oh yeah you tried this i just hate tea flavored alcohol the what is it twisted teas yeah um do you want to grab grab some more of those land sharks And just toss them into the cold water You been golfing a lot lately? No

Because of lacrosse I can't go at all So this is the last weekend And I'm going to go As much as I can Before the end of June Because we're going down to Chicago For like a two day

Two day golf thing And I need to not look like a fucking scrub. Yeah, you need a tan, dude. I mean, I'm sorry I don't sit in the sun all day every day, but I got a pretty decent tan. Yeah, my back's red. You're red. Damn. Five star.

You guys wear sunscreen at all? I do. I hate the texture. You lying through your fucking teeth. I fucking do, bro. Look in our van. We have sunscreen. He does. He does wear it. I do not, though. Because I hate the texture. You lying through your fucking teeth. I fucking do, bro. Look in our van. We have sunscreen. He does.

He does wear it. I do not, though, because I hate the texture of it, so I literally cannot wear it. What about the spray stuff? Can't do that? That's what I use. Like, I can put it on, and I just, like, choose not to because, like, I don't like how it feels, and especially when you sweat, it's just so annoying. It is gross, yeah.

Yeah, it's really gross. I guess I never really, like, usually when I put it on, I'm near water. Yeah. And so it's, like, eventually it comes off. I don't use standing outside all day. Especially on houses that have no shade. And, like, I don't want, like, shit from, like, the trees and stuff to, like, stick on me. Stick to you all of a sudden.

You're done. You've got, like, nine leaves on you. Exactly. So I'd rather just, like... I always have to go through it. What is the thing? It's, like... Doesn't, like, the SPF, I always thought that meant the strength.

It means SPF 30 means you apply every 30 minutes. That's what it means? Yeah. I think that's what it means. It's like every, I could be so wrong, but I heard that from someone. It's SPF 50 means you apply every 50 minutes. So what does SPF mean, then? I don't know.

Sunproof. Sunproof formula. Shut the fuck up. Sunproof formula? I don't know. Sunproof. Sunproof formula. Shut the fuck up. Sunproof formula? I don't know. Some pussy families. I don't know. Kev told me in sunscreen though that there's like a chemical in there that's causing cancer so I'm gonna stop wearing it.

Dude, everything. Do you know everything causes cancer? That vape you guys have been sucking on causes cancer. When I thought i was having a stroke and you took me to the hospital they said my lungs were looking fucking great yeah that was what a year ago yeah but i've been vaping for like four or five years before that you never know it could just flip a switch oh fuck well it's whatever though. You die. You die. It's our time. It's our time.

That's what I'm saying. We all gonna die anyways. Dude I can't stop looking at your cigarette burns. I hate them. I fuck. I mean those are disgusting. I hate them. I was talking about them the other day. I was like they never go away. I'm confused because why do these look completely different than these?

They never went away. I see. Well, no shit. It's a fucking cigarette that was put in my arm and twisted. I know. You branded yourself. I just hate how it sticks out, though. Oh, yeah.

That one's a chunky one. These ones are fine. A little plus. Maybe it's just sun contact on them. Those might be sunburned. No, that's how they look. Oh, really? You have a lot of them.

Don't you have the cigar ones? There's 10 right here. There's 11 right there. And 12 is right there. Why do you have so many of them? And then I did have a cigar one, but it's my tattoo covers. You literally like, if somebody has a cigarette. I'm fucked up.

It's a party check. People are like, yeah, the dude that puts cigarettes out on you. I'm like, yeah. Stop doing that. I haven't has a cigarette. I'm fucked up. It's a party trick. People are like, yeah, the dude that puts cigarettes out on you. I'm like, yeah. Stop doing that. I haven't in a while. Find a new party trick. I have not. That's not even a party trick.

That's literally just being stupid. Yeah, no. That, I open beers with my teeth, too. People cringe when you do it. People say, dude, you're going to fuck up. You fuck up your teeth. Like, yeah, I do it right. There have been a few times where I'm like, oh, that one was a little close.

It slipped. Oh, no, not me. But I think the worst time I cracked the actual neck of the bottle. Yeah. And Dan's hammered ass still drank it. It's just funny, too, because, like, we'll be at a party or something in, like, Whitewater when we went there. But no one's got a bottle opener, so they'll grab their beer and they'll just point it at me. I'd hand it to him.

I'd be like, and then everybody would be like, dude, what? What are you doing? And I'd just open it and hand it to him. I'm just like, what do you mean? This is like looking at me. I'd hand it to him. And then everybody would be like, dude, what? What are you doing? And I would just open it and hand it to him. I'm just like, what do you mean? This is like looking at me four years ago. It really is. Almost literally sexier. Sexier? Dude.

Got a good tan. Got some nice ink. I look way better. Got a full head of hair. I got ink. I don't got facial hair. That's the sad part. Oh, nice. You got like a little.

I have more on my fucking right thigh than you do your whole body. That is true. That is very true. Where do you have a tat? I got a cover. I have this. I have this. And this was so, by the way.

So poorly done. A W? Yeah, I can explain that later but if you look closely like this blood through I was thinking yeah this uh no not the bar this is like thicker thinner it's shaky and like you I mean it's a drunk tattoo about drinking so can't get a tattoo in

your drunk dude that's how you end up with a smiley face like that and then that who the fuck did that I should have did that the cat you have one in your lip too I thought you can't even get a tattoo now when you're drunk when you can't well that's the thing you know Ethan Bell walk is no Ethan Villawalk in Madison just pulled up to the apartment with a tattoo gun I was like was like, smiley face. He should probably return that tattoo gun because I could draw a better smiley face than that. And then I gave it to Isaiah.

And Isaiah gave me the lip one. And I gave him a lip one. Did it hurt? Like your lip one? I was fucking hammered. That smiley face is going to rub off in like five years. That's the plan. This, I'll have a gap in one of these lines. I'll just get touched up eventually. Well, I'm just going. Five years, yeah. That's the plan. This, I'll have a gap in one of these lines. It'll just get touched up eventually, but.

Well, I'm just going to cover the whole knee. Like, I'm going to go from here. I'm just going to do a big. Dude, just do the whole leg. I was thinking about that. I don't know if I can rock a leg sleeve, though. But, okay, so if you're going to do it, this might. And I don't want to have a leg sleeve on where my, like.

I was going to say, if you're going to do it, do it the other leg. I fucked up, but I like this one. I don't like these. a leg sleeve on where my like- I was gonna say, you're gonna do it, do it the other leg. But I like this one. I fucked up. But I like this one. I don't like these. This one's a joke. Well, aren't you gonna do the whole upper body anyways? I'm gonna do this whole arm. I don't know what I'm gonna do here. I don't wanna do this whole arm. Not gonna lie, the cigarette burns kinda fuck it up a bit.

I think they're fucking cool. When people ask, I say, Hey man, I have a drunk uncle and he shot a shotgun and the pellets hit me in the arm. I mean, they were pretty spread out and grouped together at the same time. Boom, bro, in through here, boom. Out, boom. In and out, you're saying. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, good Lord. No, I'm just going to get a piece, like, right there that covers this, and then I'll probably relax with that. Maybe I'll get a leg save here. Because I was talking to Connor. And then the whole chest and a fat back piece Talking to Connor Denver we talk like I think it'd be I've entertained the idea of a sleeve. I would do my left arm Let this be like a fuck around forearm And then if I ever do I fuck around your forearm, you know fuck around right here. No, I mean I am no I'm here right like fucker. I mean like little things like this.

Like, well done. Not just like your weird This is my first and it's still holding up very well. Yeah. It's not like it's not supposed to hold up. Oh, here's a good question. Where the fuck do Steven and I fit in in this picture?

What do you mean? That's mom and dad. Yup. That's your buddy's mom and dad. Yep. That's your buddy's store. Yep. Your friends. For Dan. Probably Sophia Richie. Steven's right.

That is Sophia Richie. Yeah. That's who I modeled it off of. Yeah. You want to see the picture? This fucker nailed it. Yeah, no, I did. See, Steven's on there.

You're not. That's Arizona. Where the fuck do I fit in this? That's Mike Studd. Yep. I always forget you have that. You'll get thrown on the chest or the back i want chest no you're throwing on the chest then what first thought what would you do regarding me when i was first getting tattoos i was thinking the year of whatever we were born so i I was year of the dragon. You were year of like the rat. The rat?

I don't fucking know what you were. So I was thinking something like that. I think I might be the rat, yeah. It's got to be something with threes. I don't know. I don't want no tacky like fucking lion and bear and wolf bullshit. How funny would that be? Like if you're the youngest, you're the dragon.

Steven's like a monkey, so it's a dragon overlooking a monkey and then just me eating the rat. Kicking it. Like, fucking deuce dance, monkey. You'll get in there, don't worry.

No, I'm not worried about it. Maybe I'll just put two more Roman numerals right here. Don't. I don't think that... Yeah, I was gonna say that. Do you like how big that is? yeah I hated it at first I hate the

look of a fresh tattoo like I love it really after this I hated it because I was like no not bleeding like obviously when it's like scared up not healed up when it's dark I like see it this looks like it's just a part of my skin faded this guy nailed do it have you ever just fucking taking your skin and like it's part of your skin it's so weird well I know grab your fucking skin and roll it around like it's

you know it's no it's fun fucking are any years raised? There's one dot somewhere on here. I actually think it went away though. That just means they went too deep and it scarred it. So not really scarring a bit but like it's very deep. I've asked

when I got this one I was like hey what do you think of this one? I was like my little brother did it. I know it's not like perfect. It's his like third one he ever did. It's probably my favorite one do you think of this one? I was like, my little brother did it. I know it's not like perfect. It's his like third one he ever did. It's probably my favorite one I have. Wait, which one? This two-thirds one.

Oh, mine's not. And he goes, that is so deep. That thing will never fade away. You could sunburn whatever you want on that, too. That thing is going fucking nowhere. Did it hurt? Oddly enough, she goes, I'm like, did that one hurt? I asked, yes, did that hurt? I go, it was probably the worst one yeah out of all of me goes

you shouldn't feel much right there I go he goes that motherfucker went deep oh yeah I mean it was new like I mean he did what the heart and arrow through yours that was the first one he ever did so I don't want to cover that right you don't want to cover it not the heart I want to like cover the shit smiley face you could easily cover you want to cover dead sock yeah no i'm gonna i'm gonna do something like this something something there but i don't want to cover that because it's steven's first tattoo like venom just like that's all i could think of that could like cover the knee and then it opens close fucking venom like? Like the fucking anti-hero Venom?

I was saying you put like a wolf and then like every time you, because it'll be open. Or do your dragon. Or yeah. I never said I wanted a dragon. I said that was my first thought when I was thinking of getting the fucking brother's tattoo. I remember asking Steven to design, because I want, the first one I was going to get before I thought of these three things were, The first one I was going to get before I thought of these three things were, like, give me something that has to do with us three, but is, like, the size of this W, if not bigger, and I'd put it right here. That man gave me nothing.

That man gave me nothing. Did he draw some stuff or no? Absolutely nothing. Maybe a few Roman numeral stuff. I think he tried, but he's like, I'm not fucking doing this. That's fair. I gave you, like, very hard, like, I'm not fucking doing this. That's fair. I gave you very hard directions. Ever heard of a triangle?

We were just gonna do a triangle? Yup. Just a triangle. Three sides, three nudes. Nah. Right now,

I want a butterfly right here. A butterfly? Like big? With a skull, he said. Like... Do you want it off center

Or right in the center Fucking center Dude I got the whole chest planned out It's gonna look good I gotta get you ripped It's gonna look good That's what I was saying I wanna get him ripped

Yeah the alcohol's not helping He's too lazy I know I'm fucking lazy bro I'm up every day It's 6.30 in the morning I work my fucking ass off. I go to the gym after work.

Yeah, we got you pumping some iron again. You probably just like sit in your room. Yeah, fine. Where are the fucking low ankle weights? I'll wear those around the house when I get home. Just going to have calves the size of basketballs. And that's it. Bro, I got dad's legs.

Fucking chicken little, bro. We all do. We all have dad's legs. You could do as many leg workouts as you want. They're not getting any bigger. Dude, I squatted more than Johnny Pleva during our weight training class, and my legs were still the smallest. How much is that?

Johnny Pleva's a pretty big guy. He's a fucking lot. Dude, that's how I could squat a shit ton when I actually worked out. Both you and Steven are, you both could be like big dudes. Steven's pretty big. Steven's pretty big. I'm fucking 5'8", 5'9", on a good day. What do you mean big dude?

So am I. But I'm saying you guys have the body like build to be big guys. I don't. I'm either fat or skinny. That's it. All right, fine. Go buy me an ounce of weed and I'll stop eating and lose the fat and then I'll bring the muscle Do you want some edibles?

You have some? Yeah. You can have on. Do you want some edibles? Do you have some? Yeah. You can have them. I don't want edibles. I'm trying to feel like I'm having a stroke right now. I took... I will take one later though. Yeah, I'll give them to you when we're done. I took half. How many milligrams

are they? They're 10. So I still have a few more of the ones I gave you. When you gave me the two? Yeah. So 20 milligrams. Yeah. When I was like in the prime of not smoking weed, I used to go and fucking take like 100 milligrams at a time.

By the way, 100 milligrams is what they give people with cancer who are dying. And he's like, I'm fine. What was that? It was a drink. The Hypo smoothie or whatever? Cancer who are dying and he's like I'm fine. He what was that? We went to fucking Illinois me him and Dan to get canes and then we had the bright idea me and Dan to stop at the dispensary So you just turned 21. Yeah and get us weed and he bought Dan a hundred milligram like chocolate Yeah, like a mint. But I they had a drink like a fucking was like in a kybel smoothie Yeah, like an a shot. But they had a drink, like a fucking... It was like an acai bowl smoothie. Yeah, like an acai bowl, whatever.

Is that what it is? Acai, whatever. Acai, yeah. And it was 100 milligrams. Chugged the whole fucking thing. Nothing. Nothing. So I just kept ripping dabs.

Yeah. Are you sure you guys weren't already high and just actually got acai bowls? I felt pretty fine. But then when you gave me the 20 milligrams, I ate the 10. I was like, just playing Call of Duty. No, each one was 10. I know. And I ate one of them.

And it was like prime COVID. So there's nothing. We weren't doing shit. I was like, this is boring. And I ate the other one. And an hour later, it's like I'm having a stroke. You're barely fucking talking. Dude, so I definitely don't have a weed tolerance.

And I've said it on here before. I took half. So you remember when my wisdom teeth were going sideways? They were going into my cheek and it was growing out

so much that it created a crater in my cheek and like gums and like jaw. It was terrible. And so every time

I did this, it killed. But I'm the kind of person who if I'm sick, I'll sniffle. If I have a sore throat, I'll swallow. Like, just, I want to, like, it's real bad. It's like a twitch. If I got a sore throat, I swallow every five seconds to see if it's still there.

Exactly. All the fucking time. And even when I know it's there. When I know it's there. And you ever had, like, sore throat so bad, you swallow, and it's like this? Yeah. It's like it won't go down. You're cringing.

Yeah. So I took, in my head, dumb decision was take half of one of these 10 milligram edibles. Yeah. So just take a fiber and kind of veg out and relax. And don't think what I think, watch TV. Did you say veg out? Yeah. That's offensive.

Tell other vegetables. Sorry, cucumbers. But, so I took it. And all of a sudden, like, for me, because of my tolerance to solo, I just, like, I was fixated on that. Instead of being fixated on the TV, I was fixated on this. So I was just doing this. Makes sense. You resolved it.

I was, like, winding. I was winding up and throwing my jaw in my tooth. And it hurt so bad. And then Max, our cat, walks into the living room. And you're like, holy fuck, that's a little blob of fur. And you're faded as shit. No, not even that. I'm like, this motherfucker is looking at me. Dude, whenever I come home drunk, I walk in and I just lay down with Finn. You always get a bit.

It's like, dude, this is awesome. No lie. I'm in the living room couch. And he's like, this is the Ottoman. If you're me, I just see his head. He's like body facing the door. And his head is just over like this. Dude, I love hanging out with pets.

And he's just staring at it. And I'm like, what are you looking at? Yeah, seriously. And then he does one of these. He just walks to his little cat bed. Doesn't break eye contact with me. You haven't hit the trash once. I know.

Doesn't break eye contact with me. And I swear to God, I thought that man was an alien. I love hats. That's where I'm different. That Twitch thing was like kind of brings back when we went to Summerfest and you were sitting right there and you were just grinding your teeth. Oh. That was bad.

That was really bad. Oh, in this garage? Yes. Remember we pre-gamed here? Bullshit. I haven't sat in here longer than three minutes before. Oh. Sober.

Yeah, that's true. I'll tell you about the first time I took Molly. Let's, um, Mom listens to this. Mom was here. Yeah, I like smacked Kuzny. When I say Molly, I mean my virginity to Molly.

Like, smacked him, and I was like, dude, like, your mom's literally coming downstairs. That could still mean your virginity to Molly the drug. Oh, yeah. Either or. I think she gets what's gonna happen next. I didn't do drug. Oh, yeah. Either or. I think she gets what's gonna happen next. I ain't doing anything. Nothing, Mom.

How many times did you tell that Uber driver that you were going to heaven or something? I was so happy in the car. I was like, dude, this is such a good day. He kept telling the Uber driver, he's like, this is such a good day. Such a good day. Like, at least 12 times. I think the... I've never taken it. I want to, but I'm telling the Uber driver, he's like, this is such a good day. Such a good day. Like, at least 12 times.

I think the first, jeez, I have never taken it. I want to, but I'm one of the, like. Yeah. True. No, none of us here is taking any drugs. The worst we've done is a few Landsharks, that's it. Yeah. It's our first time drinking, actually.

Cheers, boys. But I want to take it. I'm just, I was told that the come up, if you're not mentally prepared for it, you could have a really bad trip. And I will freak myself out. No. That's all I am. I freak myself out.

So either I'm going to do it with you because I'll feel comfortable doing it with you. I can't do it. Or... Because of my anxiety meds, if I were to do it, I wouldn't feel the good part, only the bad part. Then don't do it. That sucks. No shit. Wait. What if you just stop taking your anxiety meds if I were to do it. I wouldn't feel the good part only the bad part then don't do it That's so shit Wait, what if you just stop taking your anxiety meds for then I'd have anxiety

Yeah, we're we like him on his anxiety meds right now. Well. Yeah, well I have anxiety I couldn't even go to Florida cuz I freaked out on the plane and had to walk off Dude, I ate a fucking pizza and thought I was having a stroke when it was just mild heartburn because my fat ass ate it in like five minutes. You consume in general very quickly. Drinks more than food though,

I'd say. Andrew, I'm on two and I think you're on five. Yeah, I'm on four and he's probably... Is that yours? I don't know. I'd be going a little faster, but I do need to drive to. Oh, yeah, you got to go hang out with little kids. Well, here's the thing.

It's Friday. I got to go hang out with little kids. Yeah. Dan is, yeah, a little kid. Well, it only goes until nine, but a bunch of the coaches are like, you don't need to bring anything. You've worked your ass off for the youth program doing both teams because I have all the beer in the world for you.

And then the other coach goes, what do you drink? I go, I don't really care. He's talking about the other party. He goes, hard alcohol? I go, sure. He goes, I'll bring every kind so you have it. I'm like, Jesus Christ, am I going to be fucked up in front of a bunch of 10-year-olds tonight? My fucking ass hurts.

More so my back, I'd say. We don't have to do this much longer. Hey, quick question. What do you think? Yeah, see. This worked. I thought it was just going to be weird. Why would it be weird?

That's the best part about this. I can't fucking talk for that long. Get into the microphone. At least get in front of it. I can't talk for that long. Get into the microphone. At least get in front of it. I can't talk for that long. My ass hurts. Yeah, you can. It's not hard if you're like, we talk all day long just in the car.

Exactly. I've had plenty of people come on here. Do you have any blonde friends or girlfriends that are 21 that I could buy an ID from? Who said that? Lainey. Oh, Lainey? No. I could buy an ID from. Who said that? Lainey. Oh, Lainey? No. I could probably get her one.

It's seriously like looking at me four years ago. This is crazy. Yeah. Maybe. Maybe. I don't know what she really looks like. I wouldn't even entertain those conversations. When I finally started getting those.

Why do you think I replied with no? I know. I was like, fuck that. It's annoying. First of all, I get pissed off when you call me. I don't like talking to, fuck that. It's annoying. First of all, I get pissed off when you call me. I don't like talking to people. Yeah. It's annoying.

Which is weird. I like talking to Kev. Kev is the fucking good guy. I don't know who Kev is. Kev's our boss. Kev's a good fucking guy. Kev, you're a good guy. You don't like talking to me?

No. He makes you food. No, I guess I don't. I fucking hate when people call me. Don't fucking call me. I always based on you. Exactly. And I fucking hate it.

I prefer a quick phone call just because I don't want to do like, if it's going to be, if it's a, like a five minute conversation, which means like 10 to 15 texts. Yeah. Don't want that. Just give me the five minute phone call and we're done. Now, if you call me three times a day, that gets old.

I mean, you can call me once and I'm already pissed off. This is where we differ as siblings is I'm hot and you're not. This guy. Got him. Sure. No, I've always said you and Steven are better looking than me for sure.

I think Steven's the best looking one of us three though. You think Steven is? Yeah, for sure. I think Michael wins. I'd say, I think it'd be you and then Steven. He's got the best facial hair, I think. Steven? Yeah.

He's tallest too. Is he actually? Yeah. I thought you were the tallest we're very like neck and we're very even i think one of us is just like it's like a little speed bump i don't know someone's a little taller but we're very neck and neck which is kind of cool it would suck i would fucking and then you're like five two if you were like six two that'd be awesome if you were six to I would be bitches

I would get not even that you'd probably be the one in lacrosse right now. No we wouldn't look what he's doing right now There's nothing okay, but you could drink while you're playing this sport He could have gone to college Do I know why I didn't play lacrosse my junior year because I drank and they gave me a ticket for it He could have played lacrosse in college at his height. I remember. Yeah. I would have just faced off. I remember when I dropped you off at practice. You were like, I'm going to quit.

So I waited there in the parking lot. It was me and Dan. You're like, you went up there and told them you were quitting and walked back to my car and we got hammered. Yeah. It was honestly hysterical. Okay, technically it wasn't fucking quitting. This is the podcast

Mom has been waiting for It wasn't quitting It was because they still suspended me You were done for like half the season So I was like dude why the fuck am I coming here Every day just to watch you guys practice And then stand on the sidelines Like no I'm good thanks to ya

Like I could be doing so much better things I think we went to Like a mosquito party that week. The one thing in my life, I wish I still played lacrosse. Yeah. That's the only thing. Everything else, like, no regs. Why don't you do leagues like this just for, like, shit?

We're trying. We're trying. Can't you just start up your own? I still wouldn't have went to college and played. No, you wouldn't have played. But I would have shit on kids as a senior. I know. Actually, I couldn't even play senior year because I graduated early.

Yeah. You probably wouldn't have if you were playing. No, they would have let you, I think. They would have shit on kids as a senior. I know. Actually, I couldn't even play senior year because I graduated early. Yeah. You probably wouldn't have if you were playing. No, they would have let you, I think. They would have let you. No, they didn't. Really? Yeah. No, because we've talked about this before.

So our neighborhood is basically Mr. Fernandez in specific started the team. Started the whole program. Started the whole program, but then with help of mr caro and our dad and so basically like i viewed as like we dad and we started uh the program and i was thinking when i was talking to joey our old neighbor he knows who joey yeah i know yeah maybe the three other people who listen to this don't. Joey wants to come on. Actually. Yeah.

He messaged you? Well, I see him at practices. I'm going to go get a couple more chairs. We'll get the whole neighborhood in here. Does he help coach? So, yeah, he helps Coach Varsity right now. So, we were talking, like, do you realize our neighborhood alone. Had a lot of lacrosse players.

A lot of lacrosse players, but also probably some of the better ones that we could put together a team now that at a minimum, I don't want to be delusional, would compete with other pickup teams. I mean, put it this way.

I'd play if you needed an extra. Our neighborhood alone, Andrew, is D1 Jake. Fogo. So we have Fogo, which is great, which is... Fogo. Basically, he gets us the ball to start. I just face off and get the fuck off the field. Oh, that's what it's called. Gives us the ball and then gets off. Face off, get off. Yeah. Fogo. Okay, that makes sense. So we have him,

which is unbelievable. We have like a Fogo in general. D1 defenseman. Yeah. We have a... Joel could probably play D3, D2. He still to this day plays. I feel like Joel's a good LSM. Joel's unbelievable.

He's great. So Joel plays Stevens as well. We had, when I left, there's two starting attackmen, me and Jake, in the neighborhood. Connor also starting attackmen. Our attackman was stacked. Who went and played D2.

That's Medrano, right? Our attackman was stacked. By the way, which is also righty, lefty, and X. We're getting real nerdy on the cross right now. Joey is a D2 midfielder, so that's a wing guy. That'd be my middie, that'd be my wing. Exactly. So all we would need to find is a

goalie, which is important. Noah Bockholman. Easy. Steven, by the way, could play middie, attack, do whatever. Not defense. Not defense. No fucking way could we ask him to play defense um hey steven try i'm like are you stepping in front of a fucking ball exactly look at me so all we need to do is ask noah who would definitely do it and play goalie and we're good and then you know kiki now lives like josh fechner too kiki lives like 30 seconds down from where we used to

live who the hell is Kiki? Alec Ristra. Alec Ristra. You know what's funny? Ristra's last name is Riestra, but because of dad, everyone, every fucking human being in the world calls him Ristra now. I still call him Ristra. Is that because of football, or is that because of?

Because of Martin Luther. Where does he live now? Does he live in a different neighborhood? If you go out of a neighborhood, take a left. The first light's Pewts and 76. Take a right, it's the first neighborhood on the left. Ah, okay. I'm bad.

He's a good guy. Because I was talking to him. I'm talking to him. And, uh... Mahan? What's his name? Mahan? Danny?

No. Long hair? No. I think I could be getting this. Mitch K? Not Mitch K. I haven't talked to him. I saw... Matt. Mitch K? Not Mitch K. I haven't talked to him. Matt Mullen?

I have no idea. Long hair. By the way, I saw Max K for the first time since he was this high asking me to hang out after my varsity games. He's an eighth grader, probably the best one going into high school. He's still very short. I saw him, though, at the game when I went to go watch their game like two weeks ago, and I thought it was just some random kid from the high school that, like, everyone knew.

And then I found out it was Max K. Same. So I beat his ass. So he swung on him? So he came—well, I bullied him at practice. Not bullied him. I was like, eh, I'm going to give you the biggest shit because, like, I expect the most out of him. He's very good. He's very good.

He's very good. And I don't want to get it to his head if he ever listens to this. But, no, like, he came up. So we had a youth practice. And they went, you need to pee? Go pee. We can still do this. But this kid came up to us.

And he goes, oh, I thought you were. I didn't recognize him at all. He had his helmet on. He goes, oh, I thought you were Andrew. I go, no, way better looking. Yeah. And then he just – I knew he'd say something.

Yeah. And then – I had to sneak that in before he left. And then he just left. And then someone kept mentioning Max. I'm like, wait, is that like little K? He goes, yeah. I'm like, holy fuck, that's who said it to me. So that's who you coach?

No. So he's in eighth grade. I would be coaching him if he didn't do travel league. Oh, yeah. And to be honest, it'd be nice because I think we would have won a fucking game this year. Oh, you guys haven't even won a game. Oh, my seventh and eighth grade team hasn't won a game. Oh, technically we have, and they forfeited a – it's because someone forfeited for a tournament because they didn't want to drive up.

So you got a free win. You got a free win, yeah. I'm going to go full super coach mode this weekend because their last games are this weekend. Okay. I'm going full super coach mode This weekend Cause their last games are this weekend Okay I'm going full super coach mode I said If you guys Wanna never

Talk to me again Like I'm not gonna talk to him again But like Or you wanna hate me the rest of your life Fine I ask Once Like do you wanna have an end of the year party

And celebrate Yeah like Winning a game Just One game Let me be the puppet master. Listen to me. And don't panic and just play.

Like you sometimes practice. I can get us a win. And it was the most involved, happy I've seen them. I'm like, yes, we're doing it. I'm like, alright, let's get a win. So who are you coaching? Are you coaching a Franklin team?

Yeah, so Franklin's 5th and 6th. So I'm like, all right, yeah, let's do a fucking, let's get a win. So who are you coaching? Are you coaching a Franklin team? Yeah. So Franklin's fifth and sixth. So I'm an AC or just coach for both fifth, sixth, and seventh and eighth. Okay. Is that what you're trying to do? Are you trying to, like, coach, like, higher up? No, absolutely not. Fuck no.

So how did you get, like, this job? So I was at Anytime Fitness. Yeah. And I had my Franklin lacrosse shooter on, which I think is one of theirs. Yeah. But I'm wearing one of the shooters to work out, and as I come out of the bathroom changing, this guy stops me and goes, did you play lacrosse? And he ends up being the vice president of the club now.

Oh, okay. Who is also the head coach of 5th and 6th. And we ended up talking about lacrosse for 45 minutes at the gym before I even, like, started. Yeah. Because you have any interest in coaching. I'm like, we'll see. And then I ended up going to their indoor ones.

I was like, all right, I'll help. I'll be assistant coach for 6th. Hobby, something. And then he has a board meeting. He goes, they told told him he told him about me and he goes they need you and would love you at seventh and eighth i was like i need me fine i was like so i went did seventh and eighth too and i end up being basically the head coach for something yeah because the other two like i appreciate them being there and like having a

coach for kids so they can play yeah but neither of them have played before. Is it more so just like dad's helping out? It's dad's helping out for South and 8th. 5th and 6th, the head coach played club ball in Florida. He's from the East Coast, so he definitely has skills and knowledge of it. I'm getting so goddamn sticky. Hey, Andrew, how long do you think you've been on here before?

An hour. Hour 4. You didn't think you've been on here before? An hour. Hour four. You didn't think you could talk for an hour. 20 minutes, you probably thought, max. Oh, easily, yeah. It's easy. We can wrap this up. It's because I'm drinking.

You think that's why? Oh, 100%. Why do you think I give alcohol to everyone? I feel like I can talk without, like, if I had a Why do you think I give alcohol to everyone? I have offered you before. I feel like I can talk without, like, if I had a water, like, I think I'd be fine. Oh, you could, but it does make you a little more loose for sure. Yeah, definitely, definitely. And for people who haven't done this before, like, I normally, like, I just had what was here.

Usually, I just walk in and walk across. Yeah, do you want to say good morning to the camera once? Morning. Say that to everyone. Every time he walks through a recording. No, like my sister. say good morning to the camera once? Morning. I said it to everyone. And no one understands me. Every time he walks through a recording. No, like my sister. I said it to his sister this morning. Well, it was the morning. It was yesterday.

No, it was yesterday night. We were leaving for the Bucks game. Just a good way to greet people in the morning. You don't know if they woke up. You don't know what time zone they're on. But you do know what time zone they're on because they're in the same time zone you are. As you. What if they just fucking flew back from Tokyo? Then they're still in you do know what time zone they're on because they're in the same time zone you as you what if they just fucking flew back from tokyo then they're still in your time zone false if you can see them they're in your time zone really i could facetime someone from tokyo

right now that's fair in person like physically like like if you could touch them Touch them. Why though? Bro, because you said Tokyo and I was like, oh, Aiden. I said Tokyo because of fucking time. Next subject. Next subject. Next subject.

She's in fucking France, bitch. Touche. Touche. You just unlocked a demon that has been... That shit don't matter't matter and I always give me shit it scares the oh good lord now it's Corinna cuff cuff is that you say cough cough or third time a

legitimate person you could get no dude just drop an only fan she did and you can go on reddit and everything. All for free. All for free instead of like paying the... 25 a month plus every time. Do you have an OnlyFans account? Me? Yeah.

What? I never- What? Just videos of me fucking busting nuts? No, no, no, not like you posting shit like- No! You subscribing shit. God no, you think I'm gonna pay for that shit? You know you're going Pornhub, right?

Yeah. Yeah, why the fuck would I pay for fucking OnlyFans? Fair. God no You think I'm gonna pay For that shit You know you're going Pornhub right Yeah Yeah Why the fuck would I pay For fucking OnlyFans Especially for just like Photos and stuff That's stupid Hi mom

Mom's gonna love this one Fuck dude I am so sticky We need to wrap this up Cause I am Dying right now I was gonna say This jersey is kinda

Sticky to my butt Dude the Like numbers and letters Are like sticking to you. Oh, yeah. Let's go swimming. I'm so jealous. I'm going to have to shower again before I go to this.

I'm jumping in the pool. Yeah. If we got flies flying in here, we've had enough. Yeah. Do you have any final thoughts? On what? Just being here. Just fucking English class?

Yeah. Final thoughts. Tell me a joke. No. No? No. No? Because I know what type of joke it'd be.

Yeah. It'd be something bad. Yeah, fine. Have you ever had Candace on the show? I think I know where this is going. No. No? All right.

Well, I tried. Do you know who Candace is? do you want me to say candace who yeah candace who i hate you yeah i knew where that was going and we are done thank you boys for doing this