Fat Chance Podcast - Ep.19 - Joey Baumgardt

Episode Date: July 7, 2021

Introducing the first ever Fat Chance Athlete, Joey Baumgardt! Joey is D2 lacrosse player for Mars Hill. Join us in discussing college endorsements, weed and covid in athletics and our beliefs on the afterlife.

Put the mic. I don't know. I'm about to find out. I can hear me. I don't know. Like, what am I supposed to hear myself off of your computer? I mean, I can see you. You shouldn't be able to see me. Or you shouldn't be able to see

the lines. But talk into it. Talk loud. Talk proud. Oh. What's up? There you go. Yeah, I can see you. Perfect. Thanks for doing this, buddy. Thanks for having me. I feel like I haven't actually looked at you yet since you've been here. Yeah, well you've been busy so it's... Very busy. We were behind the slowest people golfing today. Who were you with? I just went with Gane and then we ended up being paired up with two other people.

It was Small World. It was the dad and brother of a girl I bartended with in college. So it ended up being kind of fun, which is nice. But it's just one of the – do you golf at all? I went last summer, and I can't hit the ball straight to save my life. Every time it's slicer, I just miss it. And you just kind of gave up, and you're like, fuck it, I'm not doing this? I mean, I want to go again because it's like – It's fun, yeah. And everyone's doing it now during the pandemic yeah that's why

i went because i was like oh like this doesn't seem that difficult so it's tough it's really tough it's so hard it's so hard um no we were behind these four people and they were backed up too but it's like four people that i mean we were either going to play through them or we were going to have like a memorial service for them at like hole five. They were that old. I mean, it was so bad. It's one of those groups I'm like, good Lord. Like go to a different course.

Like this is, there needs to be an age limit. I think at like, we got capped at like 75 unless you're like freakishly athletic at 75 and in great shape. And you just can't like go to the old par three courses and get drunk afterwards should not be like i hate it where were you at uh muskego lakes okay so i mean it was a last minute decision i was out and gain texted me at the perfect time he goes so i can leave work whenever today you want to golf all right joey's gonna be here at 6 15 actually 605 you caught me getting out of the shower um i can be bad i'm like you gotta you gotta make this tea time quick and i mean i got back i literally have been home for 10 minutes that's how i was i got back from

work at 5 30 jumped in the shower you texted me i was almost hoping you'd be like hey i'm gonna be a few minutes later like that's fine i didn't want to be late yeah i know and which and i figured you wouldn't want to be which bothered me because didn't bother me but i like and i said it last episodes i want to be the person that's just i'm ready to go like you get here and just we can start i mean yeah yeah you literally caught me drying my hair i wasn't even close thank god i set this up beforehand otherwise we'd still have did you have not have anything going on today not a lot i was done with stuff at like 1 30 so i was like we're good there but yeah and unfortunately for legal i wish i could have a drink with you, but it's weird.

Gotta wait a couple years. I can't, yeah, and I gotta wait a few years. I can't decide if this makes me feel old or I think it's really cool that you're here. Probably a little bit of both. It's a little bit of both. Like Joel's gonna, I'm gonna send this to Joel and he's gonna be like, what the fuck, man? Yeah. I mean, granted, he's still neighbors with you.

So I think he sees you every once in a while. I have not seen Joel. He will. He came to my grad party last year. So I saw him there, but I saw him for like. So he's seen you more recently really than I mean, I've seen you with lacrosse stuff. Yeah. But before that, he's seen you more than I have.

I mean, yeah, a little bit, but like, I haven't seen, I saw Jake when I was at a showcase in Maryland. He, it was in Annapolis by the Naval Academy. So he just came over and like watched a game or so. That's cool. So I went out to lunch with him. And then I saw, I mean, I think I see you the most, obviously. Well, yeah, now with lacrosse. i see you the most obviously well yeah now with lacrosse um i haven't seen i've seen jake i've seen jake i think three times since we've graduated high school it was when he left

and i teared up watching him leave i'm like i don't know how many times i'm gonna see him again his wedding and i think one other time wasn't his wedding in like uh like virginia it was in virginia oh my god it was a shit i mean great wedding but like holy shit it was just like so many the flights and stuff to get there i mean we flew i had just moved back from miami and i was living with sam walsh so we're like i don't know do i stay long enough that we just fly together so we have to coordinate flights for all of us to meet there's two different airports to fly into none of which are near their venue okay so was it in virginia do

you know where in virginia i don't know okay i mean in the middle of nowhere i'll tell you that yeah so we have to fly into baltimore okay i love baltimore we that's an hour and a half away so we had to fly from he sam flew from miami i have a bunch of us through from milwaukee met in baltimore then had to get a red car drive an hour and a half two hours to the venue like we didn't get there they had been drinking since like they did the rehearsal i mean we weren't invited to rehearsal dinners we weren't part of the wedding party and And we didn't get there until, like, midnight. I mean, it was, Jesus Christ.

And then we have to take the two-hour car ride back and split up. I got there, and no one got on the same flight. Not one person. Anyone out of Milwaukee, not one person took the same fucking flight, I think. So there was Sal who got there, swear to god 12 hours early for any of us so I'm like Sal you're gonna be sitting

at the airport for 12 hours waiting for us to go because the rental car is in our name I get there 6 hours early I'm like

I'll get dinner or like 4 hours I'll get dinner I'll get drinks I'll just be hammered ready to go you guys are driving because your last one's there

but Sal ends up getting a car right there we get calls from sal that like sal's fucked up he might get the cops called on him they're like can you guys do something sam and taylor bond are descending from the air they're like i don't know we can't help you we are in the airplane still and an hour and a half away i get a call i'm like well i have no car i'm hammered so i'm of no help to you right now but yeah it was the wedding was nice but the start of it was tough

it was real tough but yeah i haven't seen any of those guys in forever i saw matt mckenna um two weekends ago i see him every once in a while we golfed and then where do we go we go with whitnell okay and went to the point okay and then he was just there it was his birthday and he was with some girl i thought it was his girlfriend it wasn't he's like definitely not my girlfriend i'm like i wouldn't say it like that uh it's kind of i don't know how she feels about that one I don't know how she feels about that one. And then we went to the Umbrella Bar for a drink, and then I went downtown.

That was for the two-week show. I think that's when we beat the Nets. That turned into game seven. Game seven? That turned into a wild night. That was a wild night. The three people I was with, not one of us made it home or slept where we should have. Okay.

It was bad. That's an off-camera discussion. Okay. That's real bad. So you asked me before you came out. I don't interview anyone, really. This is just kind of hang out and talk. Yeah, yeah.

But we're going to ask you questions because you asked what am I going to ask you. I didn't know how you ran things. I didn't know the behind the scenes of. There is like no behind the scenes. I set up. Someone shows up. We have a few drinks. We talk.

We tell a bunch of stories and we move on. Then we go do something afterwards. But this is weird because it's the first one who is underage who isn't drinking so it's just me so this looks real good on my part you're going to the gym i'm going to like live music after this but i looked up what to ask a 19 year old okay they got really deep and like sad like it's like hey how do i communicate with a teenager so we're gonna ask we're gonna ask you some of them okay tip number one don't wait like it's like hey how do i communicate with a teenager so we're gonna ask we're gonna ask you some of them okay tip number one don't wait until it's too late we're eight

minutes in and we're ready to go i did not practice what i preach um definitely not pricing so i'm gonna give you tip number three give the teen some control so feel free to take i'm gonna talk the whole time unless you stop me is basically what's going to happen. I do have, I do have one question to ask you. Do you want to start with that or do you want to end with that? We can, we can start with it. Okay.

So did you see all the, like the NCAA, the, how the athletes can like, I guess use their name and likeness? Oh, they're allowed to make money off endorsements now. Yes. Yeah. Uh, can I be the first be the first fat chance athlete? You don't have to pay me anything or anything like that. But yes.

All right. I will straight up give you an endorsement. Perfect. Out of my pocket. Like, even if it's like 50 bucks, I will give you, you can be the first fat chance. All I wanted was like a shirt. Deal. Fuck yes. Dude dude that is the

greatest idea ever right i was thinking well so did you see although are you like a big twitter person no okay i have one i've never tweeted anything and i follow one person okay because cody followed herself off of it okay but like so barstool obviously you know they are having like a bunch of um oh my god i get ahead of this yeah like it's barstool athletes and i was like that'd be cool to do so i applied for it and i was like that'd be cool if i'm a barstool athlete like i can just get like a barstool shirt and that's call it quits you know yeah so i was like thinking about i'm like well i will send you a t-shirt we got to get your brother jake too then yeah 100 i mean he's a little i think

you're a little more down for this kind of stuff i don't he might take some convincing no i i i said uh i can show you the text later but we had a whole like on our family group chat we were talking about yesterday and i was like jake you should because dave portnoy said um only like it was only d1 athletes but they kind of expanded it so i was like jake you should become a barstool athlete he didn't do anything about it but he'd be like yeah does he want to be a fat chance athlete because i'm now accepting applications right now if anyone wants to be a fat chance i'm sure i will i'm sure he will and i just i actually last weekend i got a phone call from danny who was on here before and he's like i know someone um my family member who

does all his t-shirts and like super cheap i just need to get him a design so i've been working on that this week so maybe i just the first batch i just send them to my athletes well you're athlete well as of now the bomb guard boys yeah you guys can be my athletes. Well, you're athlete. As of now. The Bomb Guard boys. You guys are going to be my athletes. You'll be number one. You can have the title of number one fat chance athlete. Okay, that's what I want.

And I will literally find someone to... Connor, you're in law school. Write up a contract that states, I don't know, just write up a contract that makes him an athlete underneath the Fat Chance podcast. Dude, this is going to be great. I don't even know if that's legally possible, and you're probably laughing while you're listening to this,

but just call me. Let's figure something out here. I literally just said, anything I make merch-wise, I'll just send to you guys. And then maybe one day things work out this could bite me in the ass when i'm like hey uh if this works out i'm like michael you owe me some money well it's more of like yeah i think it's more of like a college thing because like when you go pro i mean you obviously could keep doing that but i will straight up endorse both of you if i i mean if i go pro you're still

endorsing me yeah okay but throughout the next three years of me playing college lacrosse you're endorsing me yeah hands down does that mean i can give you like a can i get a patch and have you sewed onto your jersey i don't think we'd be like nascar athlete you'd be like nascar like your stick is just my logo or not. I could like, I could like put like a sticker of it on my stick or I could like, Oh my God. I don't know.

People like do the tape on the side of their home. Yeah. I could do. FCP fat chance podcast. Yeah. A hundred percent. Most people have like Bible quotes and shit. You have your bullshit.

What does that mean? Four. Nope. Bad chance. But, Oh, you don't not, you do not know how excited I am. Now. bullshit puck as what does that mean four nope bad chance but oh you don't not you do not know how excited i am now that might be the great we don't even need to do the rest of this episode let's just go figure this shit out oh my god i was thinking about it all day today i was like

gotta ask him i gotta ask him i want to be endorsed like that's just sick that door like i like yeah i'm still in college but it kind of feels like i'm like i'm getting sponsored when you go back for your fall uh because you when you play fall or spring spring okay do you have practice in the fall yeah okay so when you go back talk to your coach make listen i got endorsed he's one gonna be like how the fuck did that happen and a little confused however one going to be like, how the fuck did that happen? And a little confused. However, you need to be like, listen, they sent me a bunch of stuff and they want me to wear it on the jersey. Can you guys sew this in for me?

I'll just do a little patch on the back. Just like right here. Just says FCP or just Fat Chance Buddy. Just right on like, right where like your shirt, this part right here. I could like definitely like put something on my cleat. Yes. 100 wear all white cleats i could like write it well we're adidas school so adidas has that like little thing right there well for the people right there and i could just write it on there oh my god i still want to get a patch on that jersey but yeah we'll start we'll start small i can't get gritty we'll start with the tape fat chance buddy has to be somewhere on you during a game if you wrote it on do you have a white no you have a blue head right on your stick i do have a backup white head though i

don't know which one i'm going to use for the season let's put over the top of it fat chance buddy so if you score and for some reason your games are recording and you send highlight tape, it says that. I could. I'm now looking at you as a walking billboard. No, no, no, no. How about we dye my head? Like we do a blue to white fade, but we do the decals or whatever. Yeah.

Like on the top. The stickers and then we peel them off yeah how we do that we can get that done yeah 100 i would 100 i would actually go out of my way i would buy a head and have it professionally done because i've tried to die yeah like lacrosse heads when we were into that when we lived next to you guys and i put like stars i wanted to do a red white and blue goalie head none of us played goalie but i thought it looked real cool it turned out terribly i mean turns out when you put stickers into boiling water they tend to come off yeah so i think people have better ways of doing it

yeah it just needs to be a warrior head that's all it has oh you have to have warrior stuff warrior brine do you know i went to Burkharts During the Youth season And I'm like alright I'm expecting to see SDX Bryan

Maverick Warrior All that stuff Not one Really Do they even have lacrosse anymore I mean Burkharts There's a new one in New Berlin

Over here Okay There's So many brands I mean Nike Kinda Yeahart's has stuff. There's a new one in New Berlin over here. Okay. There is so many brands. I mean, Nike kind of there. But like other things. Maybe it's just like different names and they didn't have Warrior on it or STX. So I like nothing.

I'm like, I don't think I'm that far removed from Grand. I mean, high school was six, seven years ago, which is weird to say yours is one yep uh and like i just i didn't see anything i recognized i didn't think it was that big of a change yeah there's a lot i definitely didn't see any brine i know like and that was my favorite ecd makes stuff now yeah i don't know what that is east coast dies you know where that like whole stringing company where everyone wasn't that just like an i thought that was just like an instagram like company for a while they were but then they like got really big and like they sponsor a bunch of pro athletes and stuff like in the pll and well yeah pll you should like i mean

you can get sponsored by multiple people but you should reach out to places like that too. Yeah, well, they're more of like pro people. Yeah. Well, I mean like even lower level ones. Like, hey, if you guys want like recognition even in like the D2 level. Yeah. Because like it's not so much that they're the growing companies. They're not like, oh, we're not just going to get TV time right away. companies they're not like oh we're not just going to get tv time right away but to show if you all of a sudden are like not pimped out with a bunch of gear but you have some like newer

stuff and you have like the people you play with or play against like where's that and you can drop their name that's big for them too yeah so maybe instead of just shooting for a t-shirt from bar stool or everything i ever make for the rest of my life which is you're getting now i mean it wouldn't hurt yeah it is cool this this ability to like athletes to make off their likeness i mean it's been a long time fucking coming i mean it made no sense that you couldn't i mean you i mean they basically the colleges were making it off your likeness no matter what, so why can't you guys get a little side action? Yeah. Rather than going under the table.

Exactly. And then getting screwed later on. Yeah. Did you see one of the Olympic sprinters who just got disqualified from the Olympics for testing positive? I did see that. It was all over social media. I think that's bullshit too. It's because, like, let's be honest. The people who probably made that rule smoke as well.

And I saw, like, I do see, like, the tweets that are clipped back onto Instagram, so I guess I'm kind of into it. But it said those people who are making those decisions probably smoke themselves as well as have major investments into other THC, CBD, cannabis companies now. Like they're investing in it now, yet the athlete who took one hit of a joint, who is a super, I mean, she qualified for the fucking Olympics. She's like, nope, can't do it. I saw something where it said

she was the fastest woman on earth. Yeah. And I'm like, that's an easy gold medal for the US. Both parties agree this did not hinder you in any way. Like, fuck.

I mean, it's not a steroid. It's definitely not a steroid. No one takes a hit a week and goes, four by 100. Like, no one's like, I want to go run. let's go pump some exactly

fuck let's work out like that's so dumb no there's i mean it's a step in the right direction that you guys are allowed to make i think we should clarify you play d2 lacrosse i do yeah so like i think that's been rushed like screen time and stuff. I'm like dude like maybe if I make the tournament I'll be on ESPN but other than that not much. I just want someone to be like hey man what the fuck is on your jersey

that no one else has. Is that a captain's patch? Definitely not. That'd be sweet though. What's the other one? The NC State. I think it was NC State. Yeah, the College Baseball World Series. You see this one?

Yeah, how they got kicked out or whatever. Yeah, because of COVID. I saw the greatest point someone made about that. It goes, so let me get this straight. NC State, because of COVID, is not allowed to participate in the games to go to the college world series however they are allowed to purchase tickets and sit in the stands without a mask without any problem how much i mean you are more at risk with no mask sitting in the stands shoulder to shoulder with people yeah then you are more at risk with no mask, sitting in the stands, shoulder to shoulder with people,

than you are, I don't know how many people are on a baseball team. I don't know, maybe 40. But the thing is, for me, we were spending, my team, we would only really hang out with our team. Yeah, we'd do other things, but we were super cautious, and we were the only team on campus to not have a COVID case. So, we would get tested weekly. were super cautious and we were like the only team on campus to not have a covid case so like we would get tested weekly like we would have to lift in like smaller groups yeah you have to go in the locker room in smaller groups and stuff like that so like they're used to being around

each other so they aren't gonna get like sick from each other yeah it's real dumb it's so dumb i mean the fact like literally the fact that you're not allowed to play because at risk of covid however that entire group could go buy tickets sit in the stands with god knows who and it's totally fine i mean you can't help but feel bad for them like i mean that's there you go to that school play baseball to go you have a chance like it's so hard to get to a championship in any sport you play and you're this close and just some bs real goes no you guys are done yeah no there's no rebuttal no nothing it's just like you're done and the logic is ass backwards it's like like, oh, this is for your safety. No, it's not.

This is to cover your ass. And I'm sure all the guys on that team would give anything to be able to play. Oh, my God. Yeah, hey, Blake, we'll start down 10 runs. Just let us fucking play. Yeah, exactly. They were really hot, too. Yeah.

I mean, okay, i can't lie like i knew nothing about what was going on in the college which is yeah i just that story came out i'm like all right so i hear like they were kind of maybe underdogs and they were doing really well exactly exactly that's another thing why take away the underdog story like that's great for your sport it's gonna give you a lot more money too no one gives a shit as a sport that's up and coming whether it's baseball lacrosse if the best teams always win every time no one cares it's not good for other schools it's not good like it's not good for the sports not good for other programs so the fact that you have a team that's the quote-unquote Cinderella. I don't know how Cinderella they were.

And then you just remove that, and it's like, oh, we're back to the base. No one cares anymore. That team attracted so many more viewers to your sport simply because they were the underdogs. The amount of people that are watching the NBA now because Atlanta, who is an underdog, has a chance to make it to the finals is great. If you just told Atlanta they're done,

and like, all right, Milwaukee Suns, you're in. Or if they just went, hey, Nets, I don't know who the number one seed on the other side was. Was it the Suns? I think so, yeah. Suns, you're at the front. Like, go to the championship. And we're like, all right, we don't fucking care. are we watching this you lose so many viewers it's dumb it's dumb

we got one win though you guys can make money now yeah that is true and i get to promote myself on it you are my walking billboard now i am i just need to convince jake yeah Do you think he'll do it? Yeah. I do. Do you think if I gave him just a tiny sticker to put on his helmet he would do it? Is he allowed to do that actually?

I don't know if he is and I don't think I am. Fuck. Well now that you guys can make your own decisions It's true. Things change.

That is very true. Like listen. He's my athlete. He's no longer your athlete marcel well fuck yourself he's putting that sticker on right here no no let's not piss off your school but i love my school do you like it i do it's a pretty small school it's a small school it's nestled in the mountains it's beautiful it's absolutely gorgeous i would have went insane there

yeah i'm more of a social i need to be out i need everyone kind of thing yeah if i i mean granted like i grew into that but fuck i mean i don't i couldn't do that i mean do you like being a cop i mean so you're only one year in and i by no means am I trying to scare you away from anything at all. But do you like being a college athlete, the life you're living? It's heavy on that sport. And I think it might help because it's a smaller school and you're not pressured by, let's say you went to Madison. You're playing, and lacrosse isn't as big of a sport there. And then you

have pressure from social life around you. Do you think it's easier, one, being at a smaller school, and two, are you enjoying being a college athlete? I do think it's a little easier at the smaller school, because like, or honestly, just being an athlete in general, because like being an athlete, you automatically have that like group of people that you are like i guess forced to be closest but you like grow into each other and like become like great friends with and um i mean like the social aspect it's it's fine like i still meet everyone like we still talk like i don't have i think i had like the max amount of people on my team in the class that I had was like two.

And our classes are tiny. They're like 20 kids. So you get to meet everyone. Those are our discussions. Yeah, I know. When we finally broke up, and that's like 20 to 30 kids. Our classes, I mean, I had classes that were like 300, 400 people. Yeah, disgusting. hard classes i mean i had classes that were like three four hundred people yeah disgusting but i do think that uh to get to your number two there of like am i like enjoying

it like being an athlete yeah i absolutely love it good like i yeah i liked lacrosse in high school and i didn't know like yeah i wanted to play like i knew i wanted to play in college like i knew that's the route i wanted to take but like playing in college it just gives you like i think i have like even more like passion and love for the game than i did before like in high school greater appreciation for it yeah like that's all i like i was talking to my uncle the other day and um he was asking me basically the same thing and i'm like that's all i want to do like all i want to do is i want to work out i want to go shoot and i want to like do things to get better at lacrosse it helps when you're around i can only imagine it helps when you're around so like when you go to college like that's kind of the mindset it's like you go to college you play a sport those

are the better people like even when i played club everyone because i had like you had to choose to sign up for clubs like everyone wanted to be there it wasn't like high school where people wanted to be there were like it's just kind of like this is my spring sport kind of thing like no this is what i'm doing so i want to do at a d2 level d1 where your brother jake is like i can only imagine everyone's like we're here to play like this is why i'm here a lot was like i'm only here because of this sport kind of thing um you take it so seriously the coaching gets 10 times better like you're not oh my god like with anything though in life i think if you get exposed to like a higher level of intelligence or like ability like shit i can do way more than

what i thought i could do you get addicted to it you get real addicted to it i love it i love every second of it i'm still addicted to the sport and i don't play it anymore yeah like i don't need to be at these fucking summer practices yeah i don't i mean i don't either but like no but they're those kids are lucky they have you guys there which is nice it's tough i know it's tough for you though you're a year removed so those kids are like listen dude you were my teammate last year yes go kick rocks i know which is fine which is good that like there's like jake and me and stuff like that at times but no it's good like You take it very seriously. At the end of the day, worst comes to worst, you're going to be a good coach.

And I know you're going to want to coach. Yeah. That's what my mindset was going into my major, which is recreation sports management. I was like, I want to be a coach. That's what I want to do. I mean, I don't know if I want to, to be honest. But I feel like I'm just going to have that itch to be around the game constantly. At a minimum, you're going to want to, whether you play past college or not,

you're going to want to be around it. Will it be coaching right away? Maybe, maybe not. It might just be like, oh, I'm going to do like summer leagues, stuff like that, and just play it. It won't be as much, which is going to suck yeah but you're gonna find other things you're gonna you'll realize and again i do not want to deter you away from anything but you will realize as you get older like you do have other interests that you will pursue a little bit like in your next what you've

only done one year of college these next three so much fun okay and you you're gonna grow so much there's just you'll still meet new people and you're like oh let's go try this let's try that and like put a little more time in here a little more time in here lacrosse will always be your main focus i know you it'll always be your main focus but you'll start getting other things we're like maybe you start golfing maybe like it'll be fun we did go to the driving range as a team uh like early in the fall that was a lot of fun those team like events or like whether it was like a team party or like the driving range or anything those are always so fun yeah so much especially it's the best way i can put it is i feel like i'm talking so much right now but um the best way

i can put is like you know how people rip on like frat parties like yeah like you we don't know you kind of thing but let's be honest if someone tried to be like hey can i hang out with your lacrosse team while you're at the driving range? You'd be like, no. Like, I kind of like just being with a bunch of people I know. It makes it so, when you know everyone you're with,

you're at max comfort. And it makes it like, max fun. It's the best. It is awesome. So those sporting, like things like those bonding moments, and it makes your team 10 times better.

Yeah. And you get those like inside jokes, or you talk about something here, and then you try it in a game, and it makes your team ten times better. Yeah. And you get those inside jokes, or you talk about something here, and then you try it in a game, and it ends up in a goal, and you're like, fuck. And then all of a sudden, this guy's your best friend. It's fun.

I miss that stuff. And I only did lacrosse at college for... two years? That's why my junior year in high school, we were really good for lacrosse. Because, like, I mean, yeah, we were kind of, like, a separate team. Like, we had the core group of guys, and then we had, like, the other guys. But, like, our core group would hang out, like, every weekend.

Just hang out, like, go get food or whatever and just like we got like really close and comfortable with everyone that we would be like so trusting of them to be like you're not afraid to pass the ball not they i'll give you the ball and with 100 confidence that you're gonna go score here or something like that that's dude that was such a that's it's so funny like the youth guys all you know what I coach? You can tell the kids like that are really good. And they'll, no lie, they'll cradle. There's a kid wide open. Like imagine everyone on the opposing team just dropped dead.

And it was just the other guy, besides the guy that's covering the guy with the ball. And the worst kid on the team is next to the crease no goalie still wouldn't pass to him just like i don't trust him yeah i mean it's like it takes time to grow but no lie these kids they would look at me like no and just i'm like what are you doing it's tough but that was us with our football team senior year like we that like kind of when i got back into golf we golfed all the time We hung out going into our senior year. And it worked. We went to state.

We lost, but we won. What do you think is worst? Would you rather... That's actually a dumb question. Everyone would rather go to state. I don't know why I'm going to pick that. I don't know what. But would you rather go to state and lose or the game before and lose?

State and lose. Yeah. That's why I literally stopped Yeah. It was a dumb, that's why I literally stopped it. That was a dumb fucking question. Everyone, like the experience to go there was so cool. I've only walked out of the tunnel

at Camp Randall once and I literally waited until everyone went so I could like walk out and just like experience it myself. Like this is fucking dope. I'm never going to do this again. Yeah. I knew that.

I was like, I'm definitely not playing football madison i am five to a buck twenty maybe i'm not that short yeah i know you're not like five nine five ten but all right so let's bring the mood down a bit you wanna let's ask you some questions because i have to stop talking okay so 20 questions to ask teens i'm pretty sure this is like parents who don't know how to communicate with their teenagers okay number one are you sexually active that's not on there but like i made that up i think it'd work are you sick we're not it don't answer that um why are you friends with so and so why am i friends with so and so who so and who is so

next question okay no that's about number one that's about numbered one and two okay jesus christ how the first three questions are why are you friends with whoever? Do you feel good about your friendship with whoever? What kind of things do you do with whoever? How terrible of a parent are you if you do not know who your kid is hanging out with, why they're hanging out with them, and what they're doing? I mean, probably. Okay, I get it. These are questions you ask teenagers.

Yeah. So, like, teenagers are a little secretive. But, like, who are you hanging out with you don't know that and my parents i had one friend in high school my parents knew exactly who i was hanging out with every goddamn time i left the house i mean did yours yeah yeah like tell them yeah exactly i did it's okay i'm going here doing this it's a foreign concept to me i did the same taco bell dollar store youtube videos that's it i mean i didn't drink in high school i did none of that i was a fucking loser everyone hangs out at that taco bell though that was such the spot man oh my god dude we wouldn't even i wouldn't even we would just go through the drive-thru and then we go back into the parking lot roll our windows down

eat have our respective musics on and just talk and then we're like where are we going next i don't know what you want to do like fuck we suck man that's that's what i mean that's small town hanging out right there yeah like people would, I remember a couple times people had, like, or some guy would, like, bring a football. So, everyone would be, like, out in the parking lot just sitting there just playing catch. I mean, you can't make it up. I mean, we literally did that. Imagine you, everyone had their own yard.

Like, you know what? Let's go play catch in the parking lot of Taco Bell. Yeah. Let's take our cars, waste gas. Uh-huh. Go get food we don't need. Yep. Because we just ate at home. And it's terrible for you.

And it's terrible for you. Take the football. We could literally do everything. It'd be like us here. Go outside. Play football. Like, no, we should do. Let's go drive 15 minutes.

Go buy food, even though we just ate. And go play football over there. Yeah. Because it's not here. Yeah, because... Because it's not here. Yeah. Fuck. I should have read through these.

Who is your favorite teacher? My favorite teacher... I have to go with... I have two. Okay. Mr. Gain and Miss Sturbin, who's now Mrs. Wassmiller. I do not know who the second one is, but I do love Mr. Gain.

Mr. Gain was awesome. His son has been mentioned multiple times on this show, and not for good reasons. Go listen to just about any of the first, any of the Tending a List episodes, the show I did before this, and it's just, yeah, makes Gain look like a real winner. Wow. I mean, these are some lame questions to ask your team.

Like, hey, number one, are you sexually active? Who are you sexually active with? Do you like being... I mean... I don't even know how to respond to something like that. Light-hearted questions. Oh, my God. This shows to show how unconnected we are with people. even know how to respond to something like light-hearted questions oh my god this shows to show how unconnected we are with people what are you on like wiki how no this is care.com

oh okay can't say i've heard of that these are the light-hearted questions i mean okay what's your favorite app i like like Twitter a lot. You like Twitter a lot? You're a big Twitter person? I'm not like, I don't tweet anything. I just like, I look at just like some people's tweets and I just think they're funny. Yeah, I haven't gotten into it. I should for this show and just put out my thoughts, but I don't even want to listen to my thoughts sometimes. I doubt you have one Or could even name one

What's your favorite filter on social media? Dude I don't know Black and white Actually let's play this game How often do you post on social media? I don't know It's like sporadically What do you post most on?

Instagram I don't even know if I follow you on an like what do you post most on instagram instagram yeah okay i don't even know if i follow you on here i definitely do okay i can put in my bio let's take the yeah bad chance athlete okay let's take a guess let me post i have like 12 what do you think you are over under 12 i'll give you that i want to say over yeah 18 posts i have 18 wow 18 posts you're like me dude i have i have 30 i have almost double the posts and half the followers it's real great um i could fucking care less i have such a great ratio though

how about this when is the last time you posted and do you know the picture I do know the picture it was I have to say April close

it was March it was March what's the picture it was uh me against queens right yep yep you got it okay and then i think it's you and your friends yeah it's just you it's just all across yep okay we'll move on because no one gives a fuck about us talking about this um what's your favorite filter on social media? Are you kidding me? What parent wants...

Hey, honey, I really want to get to know you. Can you tell me, do you like the cream look over your face? The brightness? Do you want to dim it down? Are you a black and white? Do you want to fucking die? Favorite TV show? I think there's only 20 questions.

We're going to get through this. Yeah. Let's go now that you're watching, and then how about this? Show you would recommend every time to someone, and then favorite one now. I'll give you mine. You going first, or should I go first? No, you're going first. This is your fucking episode.

It's my show. That's true. Well, you said I'll give you mine, so I? No, you're going first. This is your fucking episode. It's my show. That's true. Well, you said I'll give you mine, so I was like, I didn't know. My show that I'll always recommend, How I Met Your Mother. Okay. It's my favorite show. Where can you watch that now?

Because it's not on Netflix. It's not. I think it's on Hulu. Is it really? Okay. Yeah. I love, I'm a bigger Hulu guy. Sponsored by Hulu.

Sponsored by Hulu. Yep. Hulu. Hulu. Let me know. Talk to me by Hulu. Sponsored by Hulu. Yep. Hulu, let me know. Talk to me. New athlete. New podcast. Right now, I'm watching Modern Family.

I haven't watched that yet. Because all the shows that I would keep up with, I love Chicago Fire. I watch all those 911 firefighting shows. That's just me. No. Your dad's a firefighter. Yeah.

So me and him, when I was younger, when we'd hang out and he'd be home from work, we would watch those shows all the time. Yeah. Like MASH or something like that. Yeah. I love all those shows. But that's why I'm watching Modern Family

because nothing's coming out. Yeah. I don't have a series right now i think as of lately i've done been so into cooking shows so the chef uh cooking show the chef show or i love diners drive-ins and dives so that would be now like with uh guy guy fieri yeah and then uh is it fieri or fieri yeah i don't know uh i think it's the second one dude did say expand your flavor town man both of us north carolina my mom's garage and then a show that i don't think anyone watches is White Collar.

My ex-girlfriend's older brother told me about it. And I think just to have something to have in common with them, I went to watch it. I've seen that so many times. Two or three, I wouldn't say so many. I've seen New Girl like four or five times. I've never watched it. That 70s show I've seen through like seven times. Yeah, I've watched that 70s show too.

That's so great. So great. I think every kid or I guess teen to adult in Wisconsin has watched that 70s show because it's in Wisconsin. Oh, yeah. Hello, Wisconsin. Or it's Seinfeld. Celebrity crush. Celebrity crush. Celebrity crush. And why?

The why part we don't need to know. I think we know the why. It's a crush. I mean, you got to go with Jennifer Aniston. Because, like, she's, like, 50 and she's still, like, insanely gorgeous. Okay, give me someone closer to our age closer to our age oh god i mean margot robbie's really good looking i'm into blonde so i am too okay i always said i think i've always like i'm very attracted to blondes but i think some reason one day i'll

marry brunette i said that for the longest time i think that's out the fucking window like it's definitely gonna be a blonde i'm like well i wouldn't say i'm blonde or bust but i'm not blonde or bust by no means i definitely not blonde or bust i mean that just eliminates half the women you could ever talk to ever again um but i'm just like i always thought i was like oh I always thought, I was like, oh, I'm going to like blondes. I'll fall in love with brunette. I think, I mean, that was like me being 16 trying to figure myself out. No, I think I just, I lean towards blondes. People lean left or right. I lean blonde.

Some people lean brunette. Yeah, that's how I am. I would say mine, close. Yeah, that's how I am. I would say mine, I have a few, but the one that I always say is Julianne Hough, specifically from Footloose.

Have you ever seen that movie? The new one? I think I saw the old one. I mean, most people have seen both. But that would be mine. I also do love Carmen Electra. I have on my Instagram. I have your Instagram pulled up still.

With the picture of me and my friends in Florida, my shirt is Carmen Electra. Holy shit, it is. Yeah, it is. Jake got that for me for Christmas like, I don't know, like three, four years ago. I like that shirt. I'm like, oh, dude, I don't know if I'm ever going to wear this. Like, where am I going to wear this? I love it.

I wear it all the time. I like that shirt a lot. All right, moving on. We're almost done with these questions. So we have your favorite band and singer and your favorite song of all time. Oh, God. I'm really getting to know a 19 year old today yeah favorite band i love bon jovi man dude are you 40 i jennifer aniston is your crush oh i love watching mash

and bon jovi is your favorite fucking singer? I love Bon Jovi. All right, all right. I mean, I'm not... I mean, I am kind of ripping on you, but... I'm more... I don't like... I'm not a big rap person. I'm not either. If I had to pick my favorite rapper,

it'd probably be Polo G, maybe. See, that's more than I know. I don't even know who the fuck that is. Yeah, I... Sorry, Polo G. Sponsor me. And me. We're looking the fuck that is. Yeah. Sorry, Polo G. Sponsor me. And me. We're looking for athletes in pocket.

Yeah. I mean, he's okay. But I'm not a big rap guy. I'd rather listen to like some like Outfield or Bon Jovi or ACDC or something like that. Oh, I also do love Queen. Queen's so good. I mean, I can... It's amazing. That mean I can It's Amazing

That whole neighborhood It's almost like We were all raised By the same nine Nine Ten parents One thing anyone didn't have Yeah

We were together all the time We were together all the time All the parents were together all the time Like we all have very similar Like I like all that music too I wouldn't say it's my favorite But Yeah

It's No one Cause no one there is big into rap. No one is, everyone likes oldie music. That's what our parents played. Yeah. I remember being in your driveway playing basketball. It was like me, you, Jake, Andrew, Stephen, Joel, or whatever,

and your dad's Milwaukee radio in the garage. Playing country music. I think all of us actually like older music whether no matter the genre like my i love country music but i like older country music joel i'm pretty sure is still into like the older punk rock alternative your older rock i mean yeah fuck I don't know what the McKenna's are into um

or I mean Jake Jake's all over the place I think I'm not gonna I mean I'm assuming but

yeah we I think we all kinda like older genres of music which is nice it is it is it's everyone like

we kinda already have our set like songs we're gonna to listen to. Like everyone wants to know if a new one comes in. Yeah. Everyone dogs me that I like the old music. Like I would never get Ox. Never.

Oh, I never. Everyone hates it. I'm just like, dude. Unless I'm with like Gain or we're on a boat and everyone likes country music, I don't touch the Ox. Nor do I want it. You know how much pressure it is to have the fucking Ox? So much pressure.

Like I can. I hate it. If everyone if everyone's like hey we love your music i'm like all right if you like what i listen to i can give us a great playlist however you don't yeah i'm gonna give you and i'm the person that's always like i'll play one i don't queue up anything if i do it's two songs and afterwards i'm like give me a song give, give me a song, give me a, give me an artist. And then I'll like pick one out of panic. And it ends up being terrible. Yeah. Okay. Those were the lighthearted questions.

Are you ready for the big ones? Sure. I'm as ready as I'll ever be. I got to scroll back to them. Big questions. Big questions to consider. There are three of them. We're not going to do the last one okay that is so deep it's like it makes me sad looking at it okay do you want to get married one day yes next question do you yeah i do i mean do you see yourself getting married relatively soon do you have an ideal

date you would like not date age range you would like to get married i don't know man yeah don't never it happens it happens exactly i don't even want to get into this exact that's a best way to look at it when it happens happens don't be like i need to be married by 26. I have kids by 27. Yeah, exactly. I fucking hate those people. All right. What do you think happens when we die? I hate this question because I think about it all the time when I freak myself out. I just think everything goes black and sit.

I can't comprehend that. I kind of do too but at the same time because we've been here the whole time just imagine everything going dark you can't imagine things going dark and just gone you can't comprehend just not existing yeah i think there has to be more i think we finally meet the lizard people or the people who made us yes whether we came from below or above i don't know yeah i don't know it's do we just do we just shed this skin and we move on like there's no one can comprehend just not being a lot like not existing that's what i think about when someone's like oh what do you think happens when you die or

like whenever i think about i just think like i know there's what I think about when someone's like, oh, what do you think happens when you die? Or, like, whenever I think about it, I just think, like, I know there's a bunch of other things that are, like, possibilities or options, but, like, I just, I don't know what to think other than darkness. Yeah, like, all right. Eyes closed, gone. Yeah. I can't imagine, like, my, does not, like, okay.

I wish we could find out, you know? Oh, God, yeah. I'd love to find out. But at the same time, I think the beauty in everything is there's an end to everything. So that bothers me too. If there's never an end to this, I think that would drive me crazy. But then again, how do you not, how do you comprehend there just being an end to just like you're gone? Yeah.

Like it bothers me because I can't even like bring the words to explain it i don't think this is it but i do think that what makes just living is because one day you don't or you're not alive it's you get what i'm saying yeah i do and it's like freaking me out now i don't i don't okay so i think the reason i don't i you can't comprehend is like your mind is always there whether it alters and people say your mind deteriorates yeah so we're not as sound or sane and i can be like i'm talking out of my ass right now but your mind is always there It's your body that fails you. I mean, how does that just shut off? I don't know.

I don't know. Does it just go somewhere else? I don't know, man. Like, what if you have, like, what if this is all, like, so I've gone through every scenario in my life. Like, what if this is, like, what we're doing now is a dream. And one day we wake up and we're actually fucking, like, four years old. You know, wow, that's why I was crying all night kind of thing.

Or. Because I was doing a podcast. Yeah, my life sucks. Or, like, do you just shed this skin and you go somewhere else? Imagine, and then they wipe the fact that you're just, like, you're going from skin to skin to skin the rest of your life. And you're like, it starts, it ends. It starts, it ends. That's why you never go nuts because you get an end to a bunch of things.

Yeah. But you're, like, wiped from the fact that you've done lies before like what if there's a finite amount of oh this is getting real real weird but look just humor me what if there is a finite amount of beings or like let's call them souls. Okay? Okay. And as you die you're just recycled.

So we have been the same million souls recycled through and through throughout the years. I mean this literally just came to me

but like what if It's kind of cool to think about. And you just don't like and what if you like when you and you just don't like, and what if you like, when you die, like, Hey man,

you're on life nine. Like that's fucking nuts. Get a little break. Yeah. Like, Hey, take a break. Go to, I don't know.

Planet 94 for a second. Yeah. Oh, that was cool. Oh, you die. I'm like, do you want to go to earth?

One, two, three 90. I'm like, I don't know which one's going to be fun. Or like, Hey, oh that was cool oh you die i'm like do you want to go to earth one two three ninety i'm like i don't know which one's gonna be fun or like hey you finish up like a fun life you're like give me a challenge i'm like all right we'll send you to earth one no one likes each other there figure the fuck out you're gonna be president of the u.s your last name's gonna be trump good fucking luck buddy um no that is such a tough question

it really is what do you how better what do you want to happen to you when you die i don't want to die okay we can double down all right you want what do you want to happen to you when you die and would you want to live forever um i mean when i die like i guess like what you're saying like the you're recycled yeah that'd be kind of like reincarnation yeah it's kind of like recycled that's such an ugly way to put it yeah but it makes sense but i do think i mean yeah I would want to live forever. That'd be pretty cool. But I mean,

I feel like there's a point where you just be like, Oh, this is kind of dumb. Like I've done everything I wanted to. I took a philosophy class in college and I said, one of the biggest things that goes against living forever is again, for us to live, there has to be an end.

And now if you live forever then there needs to be something we look forward to or work forward to every time and if there isn't significant advancement or something new like if let's be honest in let's say you live to 100 how many interests you really have in those 100 years now imagine like no lie i would get sick of golfing probably in a hundred years yeah i gotta find something else something else something else if you can't kill yourself and end it you need to keep doing things and then all of a sudden you're i think you go crazy so i think what i like to i think my answer that would be would i like to live forever i probably not i like the idea of it yes if there's always something i look forward to but probably not i think maybe longer than a hundred but like i need to be able-bodied yeah no one like if i'm a fucking

vegetable at oh you're just gonna yell me for saying vegetable again because it's offensive um to cucumbers right to cucumbers yeah um but if i'm at that point like what's the like do you want to be there if you can't do anything you're a veteran how long do you really want to be there? If you can't do anything, you're a bedridden. Do you really want to be here? That's the way to think. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know.

So you might want to live forever. Wait, what do you want to happen to you when you die? You want to be recycled. Yeah. Reincarnated. Reincarnated. What would you want to be reincarnated as? I want to be a cat you want to be a house cat a house god yeah we all had cats too you you never had dogs no no yeah we never had dog either they live the life yeah it'd be

oh i saw like you know those like oh they do live great lives do you know like and they got nine of them they do have nine of them what if we're all cats and this is just and they're humans and it's just like yeah this is this is their ninth life yeah shit i think we just cracked the code probably that's why they're so grumpy all the time. It's their last fucking life. Yeah. That's why they always sleep. Cats are on their ninth life. We all have nine lives.

The ninth stage. Maybe we evolved down into cats. Yeah. We've hit the peak. Humans. We're just going down to cats. Yeah. Like, my next life.

That might be the dumbest thing I've said on here. I'll be a cat man. You'll be a cat man Or what if all the cat ladies They're just that close They're closer to being cats than we are Might be true And that's why they're grumpy This is taking a wild turn from talking about

Athletes yeah This is how it happens Welcome to the ADD podcast Fuck I was going to say something else It is. Athletes, yeah. This is how it happens. Welcome to the ADD podcast. Fuck. I was going to say something else. I completely forgot. The cat thing.

I don't know. I lost it. I lost it. We do got to get a men's league team together, though. That'd be a ton of fun. We can't. I mean, we do, but I don't't know where i've been looking it up and i also like because usually when we do those leagues we're going right back to lacrosse um we have more than because if we got a team together it'd

be the exact amount of players probably right now yeah give or take maybe like three but you know how tiring that's going to be. Even for you guys that are playing out, like we have one, maybe two lines, three, if we just start shifting attack minute. Yeah.

The cost is so expensive. It's so expensive. Um, but there's, there's still like, there's still hesitant about COVID. So like the one we would, would i had when we were talking about i was like i got one their website's like we're not doing it till 2022 i'm like you know how fun

that would have been like we competed and we just got a hodgepodge of kids who never like the only kids that went and played in college were like me and coakley i think and we went to madison and played club and we competed i imagine having a d1 d2 athlete washed up club guy a fogo who decided he wanted to party like um it'd be fun but yeah no i would like to we got to find at least maybe do pickup when i was talking to deal at practice last night, he's like, if we get enough guys, he can get field time and we can get pickup. So if we could get some guys that just graduated high school, if you know any from around here,

and we got together a team. And I'm sure there's some guys on the team that would play as well. Exactly. So maybe we do that. Maybe we coordinate with DL. He still needs to get that alumni game going because we are gonna smoke that team oh yeah it's not i mean it's not even a joke i was i mean it is a joke it won't even be a competition playing those guys it'd be so much fun so much fun i think i could compete against that team, and I haven't played in four years.

Yeah. I mean, I'm a little cocky, but I wasn't bad at lacrosse by any means. We'd have such a stacked lineup. We've talked about it so many times. We literally have the ideal lineup almost just in our old neighborhood alone. And then I'd say plus kiki kiki's pretty good yeah he is he's a dog out there have you talked to him about his fucking vagus trip here and there yeah but i heard that uh they're coming on here so they can debunk their vagus

trip for you they are coming on here that's what andrew so i talked to this is news to me me and alec work together andrew's booking my guests now i guess to me Me and Alec work together Andrew's booking my guest now I guess yeah But me and Alec work together So I told him I was like I'm going on Michael's podcast today

And he's like Me Andrew Like Ava and Megan Are all going on Sometime To talk about our I mean I I'd get them all on

I gotta get another microphone But yeah I can get them on Andrew's been on once already It was we were talking before His episode did pretty well I get another microphone, but yeah, I can get them on. Andrew's been on once already. It was, we were talking before, his episode did pretty well. Sure, we can, I mean, debunk their Vegas. What do you mean debunk their Vegas trip? I don't know, like them talk to you about it.

Tell their story of their trip to Vegas. But yes, I have heard some of it. I mean, Andrew came back with $0. That's what I heard some of it. I mean, Andrew came back with $0. That's what I heard. $0. Not like one or two. $0. It could go negative.

I think he went negative. I heard that he made like a grand on the Bucs game, and then it was gone by the end. Yeah. I mean, that's Vegas for you. Never been, but I'm assuming that's vegas for you um fuck dude he i've never you've never been to vegas i mean you technically i had a tournament in vegas well you've never i never like experienced the strip or did anything but i like flew into the airport and all that jazz but that was. I haven't been either. I want to. I want to.

Maybe we can go and make their two years. Let's get the neighborhood together. Yeah, you got it. You're the last one. I am. You're the last one. I am. Hurry the fuck up, man.

I'm trying. Like, if you could age and I could just stay at 25, that'd be great. But, I mean, I'll be 20. When do you turn 20? I turn 20 in a year. you just turned 19 yeah yeah like what day is it today the second i don't know like a little less than a month ago so what's the date the 9th of june june 9th 2023 i will be 21 i will be 27 yep fucking kill me and this is the start of this i thought it was pretty cool that you're here at the end of it i'm now starting to feel fucking old and you're like when you're 21 i'll be 27 you're not like it's not that old no it's not that old at all um but imagine still definitely have fun in vegas oh i'll have probably more fun

than i would right now um just imagine how like i used to look up to like eric and justin mckenna yeah eric mckenna justin henricks and he lived he lived uh like justin henricks was my neighbor to the left of me if you're like like in my house. Oh, yeah, yeah. I remember him. I remember him now. And then Eric is obviously your neighbor. I mean, dude, they got to be close to 40 now. Well, when you're 21. Yeah. I mean, it's kind of what goes around comes around. That's what I felt about you, Joel, and Jake.

Exactly. I was going to say, I wouldn't say you looked up to us, but we were the older figures kid-wise in your life. I have to credit a lot of my success to you and jake for like teaching me lacrosse i remember actually your dad i think asked me to play catch with you once in my front yard i will actually never forget this day that's it and i literally taught you how to throw a lacrosse ball yeah and we i think we played catch for almost two hours in my front yard. Yeah. And then I think Jake or Joel was there. Yeah.

They came later. Yeah. But you and I literally was like, pull it back, point the bottom in, throw it. The hole. And now you're D2. Fuck. Maybe I should fucking keep coaching. No.

Coaching's nice, but. It's fun to give back. I like it. It is nice. It is nice. But sometimes I want to rip my hair out but oh yeah it's nice to do what i just did it's like all right i kind of did it once i had no kids in it i was just there to help out yeah i mean the kids i don't want like they loved me it was nice

like i got hugs at the end like please don't leave i know you want to, they loved me. It was nice. Like, I got hugs at the end. Like, please don't leave. I know you want to move. Like, just, like, don't leave. And, like, that felt really good. But because I don't have kids and I'm, like, I got so burnt out. I'm, like, done. Like, I don't want to do the summer thing. I don't want to. But you've made it to the first two practices.

It's a huge difference. Like, the summer thing for youth. Like, hanging out with kids more my age, like you and Jake. Jake's only three years younger than me. No. Yeah. Jake's three or four, yeah. Jake's what, 21?

Yeah. Was he a freshman? No. He was in eighth grade when I was a senior. Steve was a freshman. But yeah, you guys aren't that far away from me. It's different. There's a huge difference going to practice and i watch you and jake challenging each other to try and get better before practice and i can talk to you all like hey do you want to do my podcast the

youth kids don't even know i fucking do this yeah um nor should they um but it's a huge difference going to practice and be like what's's up? How'd you do? Like how was work? What'd you do at school? How's your first year? I went, went out here. I talked to this girl.

I talked to that, like stuff like that. Versus I go to seventh and eighth and like, how tall are you? Do you have a girlfriend? No, that's sad. Are you gay?

Are you sure? I mean, who'd you vote for? You really look like you voted for Biden. Are you fucking kidding me?'d you vote for you really look like you voted for biden are you fucking kidding me did you vote for by i'm like how the fuck did you get any of that out in the first five seconds of today i'm like do you know my mom i know well he goes my mom my mom wants to talk to you i'm like shut up like i think again who'd you vote for because like you definitely like you should have voted for trump But you definitely look like you voted for Biden

Those kids were Slightly Republican And definitely racist I think Or maybe Slightly racist definitely No they were slightly racist definitely Republican I did help out with that team before

COVID hit last year And Kiki went down to like Their winter practices with Coach Wrench And ran the whole thing I did help out with that team before COVID hit last year. Yeah. And Kiki went down to, like, their winter practices with Coach Wrench and ran the whole thing. That's what I did for something. That's nice. We can wrap this up. I'm going to check this to see if they have one final, like, kapow questions.

Not really. This is how much childcare costs in 2021. 50 camp songs every kid will love to sing. Oh, exciting. How to interview a nanny. Do you have anything else you want to talk about, my athlete? No, I'm just grateful to be an athlete of Fat Chance Podcast. Dude, this made my entire weekend.

I don't care if it's the 4th of July. That's exciting. I'm putting it in my Instagram bio as soon as we wrap up the show. You were literally the first Fat Chance athlete. Connor, I'm dead serious. my Instagram bio as soon as we wrap up the show you were literally the first Fat Chance athlete Connor I'm dead serious if you listen to the end of this I know this

may not be your favorite episode but if you could anything help me out help me help him help me

and then eventually help you write something out if you'd like and we'll figure it out but yeah you're my first athlete i am how many more athletes you think i can get i got jake um how many more do you know if you're an athlete and you see this and you want to be under the umbrella of the fat chance michael kuski thing you won't be number one but you could you won't be number one you will always be below joey sorry don't apologize that's not what a number one athlete does you fucking bully them and tell them you're number one treat them like you treat the

high schoolers you coach tell them they're little pricks tell them they don't do anything fucking right and yell at them you think you called me a dick like i did call you a dick you are a bigger dick than i am no that's not true i'm a big to those kids but that's because i haven't got to know them yet i don't really know all of them to be honest with you do you know who it's weird do you ever last thing you know you ever when you coach you kind of pick out like one or two kids. You're like, if I make any difference in this team, I at least want you to be better kind of thing. Obviously, let's put Wade aside. I want Wade to go D1.

Yeah. And he will. I want Reese to do so fucking ka-chow. I want him to do so well. So well. I think he has do so well. So well. I think he has the potential. He does have potential. A lot of those kids have the athletic potential

because Coach Brown harps on them to get in the weight room. Football's the big shebang at Franklin. Yeah, but a lot of those kids have the athletic potential. It's a lacrosse IQ. It's IQ. It's slowed down. It's literally just watching college games. Yeah.

Oh, actually, I have to wrap it up with this question. This is what season two was. So, we're in season two now. And the only one I didn't ask was Andrew and Kyle because I think their goal before they turn 22 is to get fucked up so you have a year so in the year of 19 and it's still fresh what is something you want to do that you either have been afraid to do i've been putting off but something like i've wanted always wanted to do this

something that you can i say pledge to me but like you're my athlete now i pay you um something you want to do before you turn 20 before you get into your 20s what's something you want to say you've done well my what i'd like really love to do is win a national championship, but that's like... But something you can completely control yourself. Something I can control. I don't know. I've got to think about this for a second. We'll give you a few minutes.

To give you an example, the last guest I had on, he said from the first 25 years of his life, From the first 25 years of his life, he's been living, like, not with his parents, but, like, everything he did was with his family. Like, if you want to vacation, it's with them. He goes, I need to do something just for me. Not, like, I don't need anyone. I don't need to rely on anyone. He goes, I want to take a vacation. I want to go by myself or just me and my friends.

No family members, no nieces, no nephews, no brothers, no sisters, no parents. Myself, do whatever. No one to like fall back on and be like, oh, you're paying for lodging. You're doing this for myself. He's like, I can definitely afford it. I just need to go do it. I mean, anything like you would like. It could be skydiving.

I do not want to go skydiving. I thought about that today because I drive could be skydiving i did not want to go skydiving i thought about that today because i drive past skydiving place yeah i see it when i go to work and come home from it and i'm like i don't know if i can ever do that it doesn't also need to be a bucket list thing like yeah mine is because i do the open mic and stand-up stuff so i was yeah so i was gonna do it tonight but we did an episode later and i'm missing sign up literally as we speak right now, which is fine. I have Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday to do them. But I want to do, I have to do 40 more by the end of the year. And I can only, I missed last week for a podcast, which is tough because I was in Chicago, would I have to at least be at, I think, 50 episodes by the end of the year?

It has to happen in this year. I mean, the only thing that I can really think of is just getting bigger and gaining weight. I want to be 195 to 200 pounds. What do you weigh now? 180. Okay, so you have to put 15 195 to 200 pounds. What do you weigh now? 180. Okay. So you have to put 15 pounds in a year.

Yeah, 15 to 20 pounds. It is weird asking a 19-year-old, like, what is something you need to do? So let's, yeah, it's an attainable goal. You have to have 15 pounds on you by the time you're 20. Deal? Sure. If you don't, I'm dropping the fucking sponsorship. I can't make that deal.

I want the sponsorship. You're making the deal. I mean, don't drop my sponsorship. Make the deal, Joey. Make 15 pounds. I'll try my best. All right, we're good. Thanks for doing this, buddy.

Thanks for having me.