Fat Chance Podcast - Ep.2 - Michael Toth

Episode Date: January 18, 2021

Making the trip from Madison, WI, old friend Michael Toth joins for this weeks episode. The guys catch up before briefly explaining the reason behind the name of this show and their excitement over the Packer playoff win. Aside from that we cover topics from snacks that actually taste like their description, to tattoos, to dating friends old hook ups. 

And here we go. Like everyone, we are recording. Oh, we're live? Would you like a drink? What do you have? Because I am driving home after this. I know. Are we doing stogie?

Yes. Okay. So when do you want to light those up? Also, I have no rush to get anywhere. Okay. So we can do whatever. I have, um, there's a land shark, some bush light, a bang, water, and a mini Coca-Cola. Give me the bang.

I'm exhausted. It's birthday cake bash. Okay. Or birthday cake. 0 for 2? So I cleared the breakfast and I had enough of this. Okay. We're going birthday cake bash. I'm going to do, this is going I had enough of this. Okay. We're going birthday cake bash.

I'm going to do... It's going to be a terrible recording. Okay. Actually, can I have a bush too? And we'll start with that and then I'll switch over to the birthday. Oh, there's Bud Light and Trulies, actually. I'll stick with the bush. Okay.

It's nice to see you, buddy. Nice to see you. I to see you i'm excited this is exciting i can't believe you agreed to let me do this see usually it's the other way around i can't believe you agreed to do this just don't send it to my mom i was oh yeah my mom will listen to it um do you see her when you went up or no yeah she i asked where the bathroom was and she said oh the dirty one that the boys don't clean she always calls it dirty i mean i don't think she's seen a college guy's apartment take your pick take my pick you gotta cut it thank god because i didn't want to go find a lighter um last time so i don't know if you're caught up or if you listen,

but the Jack Milky one where we smoked cigars, the next day I walked down the steps and I told you this, and it just reeked of cigar. I'm like, oh, shit. Are there two of the same at all? There's two of each, yeah. I've been liking the Oliva ones. Which one's that? With the white label.

Let's do those. They're just really nice and mild. You want to do those? Or do you want to keep those for yourself? No, no. I have more at home. Okay. So I just brought a small assortment.

Do that. Thank you. Take our time. Yeah, we started ours halfway through, and I got halfway through it. I'm going to have a long night tonight. I'll tell you that. Yeah. By the way, Go Pack Go.

That was fucking awesome. That was pretty cool. That atmosphere we were at was so fucking fun. So fun. Tell me about it. It was... Because I was with my uncle and my little cousin. So that was fun too, but probably not the same level of excitement.

You know when you're about to tailgate day drinking, the first sip of beer you have it just it tastes different i was at this guy's house before we went to the mecca and had our booths and it tasted like that in someone's house it's like two o'clock oh boy and right right away i'm like this is gonna be a long day like this is one of those days i feel like superman yeah i can do no wrong give me a liter whatever i'm ready to rock and roll that first taste that's how you know it's gonna be a good one it's a little irony but it's like other than that it's water like oh shit yeah it was uh no we got there we had three boosts for ourselves

and i don't know just like there's nothing beats honestly honestly. Like everyone kept saying, I wish we were there. I wish we were there. And we want to do, and we've done it. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. You and I went up. We're like, we should make this a whole day thing. Like get a hotel and like have like a great time.

And you did the box with us, didn't you? Yeah, with you and Corey. Yeah. It's such a, like watch. There's no comparable experience to like just watching the Packers play. It's fun a – like, watch – there's no comparable experience to, like, just watching the Packers play. It's fun. Right.

It might be a Midwest thing, but here, I'll let you start this off. I haven't even opened it. Do you know what – well, I need the cutter too. One thing at a time. Okay. But, yeah, also please – let's note this. I've been drinking a lot today. Not a ton, but enough.

Enough where I can get home, function, but to the point where I'm just not going to shut up. You're fine. Steven has started his truck, the semi, while we're doing this. I've heard that, yeah. He's moving a garbage can. He isn't going to do a damn thing. Yeah, so in comparison to your fantastic day,

I've had two Miller Lights and a cup of coffee with my grandparents. That's the thing, too, is we had the three booths, and everyone packed. We got there a little later than other people. Throwing shit everywhere. Oh, that's good. And so we get there a little later than other people, and I'm walking at the back of the group with Gane,

and everyone, like, packs. And I'm like, I don't want to pack into a tiny booth, and I don't want to be, like, I don't want to be crushing my nutsack the whole time. It's a three-hour game. So we go to the other booth. I'm like, oh, people are going to join us. No.

Nope. It was literally just Gane and I. We both got our own buckets, just kind of sat there. I'm like, I guess this is us. No. Nope. It was literally just Gane and I. We both got our own buckets, just kind of sat there like, I guess this is us. Yeah. And I was telling you that they do, instead of like the kiss cam, they do the booth cam. But we were like next to the stairs. So they would go to our booth and it was just Gane.

And he would hold up the buckets thinking we're both there. But I got cut off. So it looks like he's alone. With two buckets. With like 12 beers to himself, just like, ooh. And it turned into, you know the Bucks video where Bakhtiari just slams the beer? Probably.

And then they go to Rodgers, who's also at the game, and he tries slamming it, but doesn't do it. Oh, yeah, I have seen that. So, yeah, that's what it turned into. Eventually, like, everyone just starts taking turns slamming their drinks. Okay. It was fun. It was a good time.

Yeah, if your listeners aren't aware, I'm not the biggest sports enthusiast, so the fact that I actually watched the game is pretty impressive. Yeah. I was bummed Heilman didn't join us out. I mean, his family made a bunch of game day food. So he stayed in Mequon, but we'll probably see him out later. I'm disappointed after I listened to Heilman's podcast episode. I texted him the keyword.

Do you think enough people listen to my shit that 10 people are going to text him? I made it that far and I thought I was like, okay, it's been a while since this premiered. So I think I was number six out of 10. Oh, he actually told you what you were? He was guessing, but yeah, that's what he said. From what I've heard, I think there's three people that actually texted him. So I think he was just counting each one as two. This is like white trash maduro this really is is this i love it though this is not perfect this is the perfect start to a very

successful career in podcasting i wouldn't even like say i want my entire career in podcasting this is just like something to do to have my name and content out there yeah you should like i can't wait the cameras come tuesday i'm a little disappointed we didn't get the cameras yeah that's my fault i'm wearing this flashy robe that i bought i really wanted everyone to see but i bought them or i had them in my cart and then i'm very indecisive when it comes to those things i'm like oh i could just get the new, like a better one. It's an extra $800, which is a lot. Yeah, just a lot.

But it's like, all right, it's an investment. Like, do you want the cheapest ones that you're going to have to replace in two years? So, like, can you get one middle line that's going to last six? And just, I'm like thinking, oh, can I do something better? Sure. Am I getting the right one so I have the right information? Yeah. You're being a smart shopper.

And then I finally bought them them they finally went through monday and then i look at my bank account and so when i bought the cameras i bought two of them and then i bought memory cards and then chargers and whatnot so like they can run the whole time stuff that'll bore everyone else when i look at my account like i was only charged charged for the chargers and memory card and i call my mom because it's on her amazon account i'm like hey can you see if this shipped and we went back i'm like she goes i don't know if it's shipped you haven't been charged pending i gave her like she has my like account to like get into my bank account whatnot because when i was younger she helped start it so it's a master thing and she's like yeah you haven't been charged.

She canceled that camera for me but everything else went through and then I bought it on my credit card because they thought I had like a limit on the debit card and that still hasn't gone through and they're like, it's going to be here Tuesday. I'm like, I hope. Otherwise I'm not screwed but I really would like

that's the thing. I can't promise anything on this podcast anymore and it doesn't happen. Knock on wood. You have it. I promise this won't be successful. There we go. There you go. There we go.

Perfect. Oh, who's the, that's the other fun part about doing this. You get to see all the neighbors out there. You don't get to see it. You just get to hear them. There was someone in a car across from where I parked and they were just chilling with their lights off, but the car was on. I got out of my car. I showed up five minutes before you did.

And I get myself out of the trunk. Because I've had all this stuff in my trunk because I did the one in Minnesota for the New Year's thing. And a car pulls up to, to like right where you enter for here and i'm thinking it's you like waiting for me to be like hey where should i park which you called me about and the door opened and no one came out of the passenger side so i thought you reached over and threw it open to try and talk to me which would make no sense right you can just roll down the window and i go what up big man and this girl goes hi i'm sorry wrong person she goes uh okay just didn't say anything else just walk the other like

drastically the other way got out of the car and was walking in the snow in the grass like i want nothing to do with this man i feel like that's most girls reaction when they see me or just to you yeah it's like hey um get the fuck away from me that's fair i got an email from again i'm sorry i keep talking but i got an email from uh i forgot what it was but it says does your sex no i got one of those texts like you know get random texts it's's like, hey, I saw your pictures. Whatever. Naughty, whatever bullshit. Obviously, you don't click on it. I don't get those texts. Maybe I watch too much porn.

I got one that said, does your sex life need a spark? My sex life is pre-Caveman. We haven't even discovered fire. I was going to say, I could use some Tinder, some kindling. I need to discover what fire is. It's bad.

It's real bad. So I heard on your podcast that you got a girl's number and you were trying to talk to her through Snapchat. But I didn't know if there was any update to that. Can you tell me a little bit more? Maybe this will be the one she listens to again. Oh. I told you the story but like we

can say it on here this is uh you didn't tell me this story did i not uh this is new to me and podcast world this is the most baller move i've gotten from this okay so i got the number yes doesn't that like first time it's ever happened that wasn't like me bartending right the bartender effect the whole night you want something i give it to you you give me your card i give you alcohol all of a sudden you're horny at the end of the night you give me your number i'm not handing over myself right just you know not all transactions work unless you're pretty even that like you know there has there have been attractive girls that have given you your number okay yeah yeah and this has happened like hey text me when your shift's over when they think

my when like the bar closes right we leave like that's not how this works like ma'am we need to clean what you just destroyed you're gonna be up at five exactly it's like just text me i'll be up like i know you won't also this Also, this is not what I have. I mean, what you wanted this is what would happen. That's besides the fact. But I think that's funny. It's like, just text me. I'll be awake.

No, you won't. No, you won't. You are half asleep talking to me right now. If you could get your both elbows off the bar and open your eyes, then yeah, maybe I'd believe you. Have a Red Bull and get out. Water. Yeah, water. And like some NyQuil just knock you the fuck out for a few extra hours.

But yeah, so I got the number. We texted that we're like snapped back and forth that weekend. And she was in finals, where she's in school. And was it law school? Grad school. You don't know? No, I don't know. But.

Dental school. She, yeah. We'll just make it up. She's in dental school and also a neurosurgeon. So. Interesting. I have no idea. She actually uh she interned where one of our buddies works but she was busy with all that stuff and i said all right when you're done let's

dinner drinks whatever she said that sounds perfect i said all right cool so then it was saturday night i messaged her thursday i said hey are you still up for dinners and drinks nothing i got ghosted by a girl who gave me her number i'm like this is and you know what the the funniest part about that is is that night i'm laying on the couch and i have like i have nothing to do the next day. I'm kind of bored. I don't know what to do. And my mom looks at me and goes, you need a girlfriend. Mom, I fucking tried today. Today. Like it was, I thought it was so funny.

And a few other like other girlfriends that I hang out with regularly, they're like, don't reach back out, blah, blah, blah. I didn't. And I just kind of left it at that. And then two weeks later, I get a snap video. And this out, blah, blah, blah. I didn't, and I just kind of left it at that. Sure. And then two weeks later, I get a snap video. And this I told you, right? Nope.

Fuck, I thought I did. Nope. I get a snap video, and she's, it's just her, and she's listening to something. And I can't tell because my volume's low, and I start listening to a little closer. She's listening to my podcast. The episode we're talking about her when i was telling the story how i got the number or whatnot that's amazing and i literally was like that's in my home like that's such a baller move yeah i just thought that's perfect i just sent back i was like i can't believe you fucking listened to this and she goes i saw you repost

someone saying they were on your podcast. I had like support it. I was like, well, one, that's pretty cool that you actually went on the way and you listened to it. Also, when she listened to it, she knew which one was about her too. Because the week she listened to it and the post she saw was not the episode we talked about her. It was the week after. So she looked at the episode saw the one that said potential dates and she goes that's me that's it so she knew what was up and then we talked for a little bit after probably like a half hour hour

like a few snaps back and forth and uh like hey didn't expect to just be completely ignored thing i brought it up like i can't believe like that shocked me and yeah i didn't expect to just be completely ignored. I brought it up. Like, I can't believe like that shocked me. And I didn't, I was, I don't care, but was curious. And she told me that her grandpa that week or that weekend got COVID. And then while she was sleeping,

someone tried to break into her window in her own room. She goes, I'm not too keen about meeting new people i'm like fair whether it's true or not fair i got it either okay that's valid or that's a pretty intricate story and i give you props i don't know who makes that up who makes it up but like if you did good for you like i bought it i respect it and i just said all right maybe when someone's not breaking into your window we'll work things out out. And then I fell asleep, and then I haven't talked to her since. That's it.

When was that? That was probably a month ago. No, two, three, four. All right, well. I don't put a lot of effort in for most things. No, I don't. I think you put in the right amount of effort, and you've got to leave some up to her. To what point can you, like, I was like, you shouldn't chase the right one will be there, but at the same

time, like, if you're always like that, nothing will work. Yes and no. There's a balance. There's a balance. You got to walk the line. Okay. So I was thinking about that. And I'm surprised.

Is this, are we on the Fat Chance podcast? Yeah, this is the Fat Chance podcast. I was going to ask why you went with Fat Chance Buddy instead of Walk the Line Buddy. I think I have other plans for Walk the Line. Okay. I also think Walk the Line has been used in a lot of things. So if you Googled Walk the Line or did Walk the Line on Spotify,

you're going to get Johnny Cash. You're not going to get Michael Kuski. All right. That's fair. Then again, if you Google Fat Chance or Spotify Fat Chance, you're also not getting Michael Kuski, but it's like a shorter scroll.

If you Google Michael Kuski, you're not getting Michael Kuski. Yeah. You definitely won't. But yeah, I also think if this is going to be me personally, the Fat Chance one, I think fits me almost better than Walk the Line, even though Walk the Line, that infamous quote will haunt me

and be like, I think it'll do me well. But yeah, I think Fat Chance is fucking perfect. Like, absolutely perfect. I know Hunter's going to love it. If Hunter listens to another episode. I feel like he's listened to a few of the older ones. He listened to one or two.

I was wondering if you were still doing your show. I don't sit here and do nothing all day. I actually do stuff. I actually am wondering what you do on a daily basis. You quit your job. Did you get a new one? basis. Cause you quit your job. Yeah. That was a, did you get a new one?

Kinda. I'll do like random deliveries on the, Oh, that's right. You didn't tell me that, but I had to pay for the cameras and now I have options to hopefully get paid for doing some of this, which is going to be fun. Oh,

so that's exciting. Yeah. We'll see. I mean, you're episode two. And the reason I needed you on right away is the reason it's fat chance is you were there right so let's start with that okay because we have probably 30 minutes of material to talk about from this entire day day alone let

i was gonna say how do we how do we set up that story i can set it up do you yeah yeah should we talk about Corey first? Who also is going to come on here soon? Yeah. He might be the first one with a camera. Baby Daddy. That'd be awesome. You're going to come to Fitchburg and hang out.

Yeah, I'm going to bring it there. I also said, he randomly FaceTimed me actually yesterday. And while I was working on it, he goes, just in the middle, I'm like, what the fuck? He goes, oh, Toth was here and he said he was doing the thing with you. I was like, well, I'm glad you called. Also, I need you for business purposes and your kid. Oh, boy. I thought he said, if we could get a booster seat,

I'll put a mic in front of him, and I'll turn it off, but the camera's on him. Oh, my God. That would be. Cha-ching. Yep. Views. If anything, I'd get the Madison group. Like, every person on that campus loves him. Corey would be. Cha-ching. Yep. Views. If anything, I'd get the Madison group.

Like every person on that campus loves him. Corey. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Everyone loves him. Even people that don't speak the same language as him and try and talk to him, which is a good transition into why we call this the Fat Chance Podcast. Yeah.

So it was you, me, and Corey, right? On the plane to San Francisco? Yeah, which was a great trip. It was. I don't even remember what we all did. That night stands out out of all of them. Yeah. We went wine tasting in Napa.

Yeah, we sound soft, but it was fun. No, it was amazing. It was great. I highly recommend it. Yeah, I would do it again. We also kind of got spoiled because they were members at that place, that was probably the most beautiful vineyard oh yeah like i'm pretty sure it is the most beautiful it was unbelievable i still have the bottle of wine upstairs where my mom has it i gave it to my mom okay um and i remember like when all the fields were like

burning down like that 120 bottle of wine is probably now like $600. They're like, that shit just went through the roof. Just keep that. But yeah, we did so much shit. The Aliottis hooked us up. Shout out, Hunter. And one of the nights we decided, we knew like, all right, we're college kids. We don't want to spend a billion bucks.

But like, we're here for a week. We're here in San Francisco. We're here for a week. We know we're going to spend some dough. And so we're like, let's do one night at a club. And so we planned

and we're looking at pictures of this club. Huge. And we're pre-gaming. What's it called? Do you remember? I don't remember what it's called. I'll think about it.

It's going to come to me. But like the one we went to or the one we were going to go to? The one went to yeah it was like love and oh yeah i know exactly what you're talking about it's gonna bother me too now but i'll continue okay yeah keep going so we're gonna go to this big one and we're pre-gaming at this house oh god and i forgot and hunter's brother's friend comes up and goes we should go here we're like what we're gonna go here it's a little smaller but we'll have a better time we'll be able to dance it's like more intimate like kind of intimate like you can talk to more people you're

not loving propaganda that's it that's propaganda which you already know is probably not where six white guys should go yes imagine michael myself and cory gilbertson tweedle d dumb and dumbest and hunter walking into hunter's the only one that fits in kind of so we get there oh fuck okay and that was after we finished a bottle of jameson between like five people yeah we drank a lot we get there and we were like one of the first ones there. It was like 11 o'clock. We're used to by 11 o'clock in Wisconsin. Right. People are, it's happening.

People are there. They're out and about. Like we start early, we end late. We're alcoholics. And all of a sudden, nothing wrong with this, but we're the only white people there. And by only white people, I mean six out of 200 people there. No, no. When we got there, there was nobody in there yeah just us the floor was empty oh okay and then we started they're like oh this is going to be like us and then it kind of just turned and then in 4.5 seconds the place

was full and then we were the only white guys again nothing wrong with that. But the problem is there are different social tendencies with cultures. Meaning we didn't interact with anyone else. And we're trying to dance. We're having fun. We kind of mingle with a few other people. And they'll like, look, I was like, oh, cool. Please leave me alone. And Corey got into one of his moods.

I should probably not use his name all the time. But baby daddy got into one of his moods i should probably not use his name all the time but baby daddy got into one of his he's a brand and he was he's drinking just okay yeah i'll sweep it out and uh he finds the one person that isn't let's just put it out there it was six of us white people all asians one latina that was it cory found the one latina and he's dancing with her cory i don't think knew he was dancing with her and she kept saying the only words that we could understand which were don julio which was normal for her, but we were like, oh, alcohol. So Corey just kept buying Don Julio shots. This man, at the end of the night, literally the only person that spoke closer. Like, it was bad.

Yep. But at the end of the night, he's trying to close out his tab, and this was peak Corey Hammer. Latina girl had left by now. Yeah. It's just me and him at the bar. Full of Don Julio. Yeah, just me and him at the bar. And he goes, I'm going to close out.

I'm like, all right, cool. And I was like, hey, what are you tipping? Like, did you have the same bartender the whole night? Were they nice to you, blah, blah, blah? He goes, oh, yeah, tip a lot, tip a lot. And I'm like, all right, cool. Tipped a decent amount. I'm like, why is your bill $130? Like, what the fuck happened?

Like, mine's $60. No one ordered. I was like, oh, Don Julio. I forgot. And he looks, and he goes, all right, I'm going to tip. I'm tipping $20,000. I'm like, all right, cool. And then he writes $170,000 on the bill.

I'm like, $130,000 plus $20,000 does not mean $170,000. He goes, what are you talking about? I'm like, stop. You're not even close. You're not doing the right math. And he looks at me and goes, no, our server, who just gave us actually one shot. He goes, dude, she helped us all night.

I'm like, that's the first time we've seen her. She just got off the dance stage. She was such a good server. I'm like, dude, she just got done stripping and has now just gave us a random shot. She did not serve us all night. He goes, no, she was so nice. I'm like, you might have thought she was nice, but this is the first time she gave us anything.

He goes, $20, $170, $130. I'm like, no, have thought she was nice. But this is the first time she gave us anything. He goes, $20, $170, $130. I'm like, no, it doesn't. Stop. So I had to take his bill. I'm like, I'm sorry. This is what it is. I blacked his receipt out. And then things went dark.

It was when we tried finding food, which is worth a fat chance. It's such a brief moment. It is. Why I call this podcast. That's it. It's so memorable. I mean, it's memorable for me and you obviously. For the whole group.

More you guys than me to be honest. Yeah, well, and like you said, it's just like a little glimpse and we were all pretty heavily sedated at that point. It's a hundred percent. It's the most me thing I've done in a while. So we find a, it was like a diner that was open late night. They serve. Wisconsin listeners, George Webbs.

We find like a George Webbs. Okay. I don't even remember what it was called, but let's go with. They serve- Wisconsin listeners, George Webb's. We find like a George Webb's. Okay. I don't even remember what it was called, but let's go with that. We didn't go to George Webb's. It was like that. First of all, we all order normal food, like a burger and fries and maybe a drink. Corey ordered a burger, fries, and a side of fries with a massive Oreo shake. The man got, also, he got confused when his side of fries showed up.

He goes, what's this? He goes, you ordered a side of fries. He goes, but I have fries. He's like, oh, fucking Christ. You have a child. Now he does. He's toned down a little bit. He told me he hasn't drank in a while

oh side note we haven't even opened these oh i have something for you it's in my car we'll get it later okay yeah no that happened before like let's talk walking in walking in it took us a while to find this place yeah from my point of view i basically just told someone to fuck off and which is why i call this the fat chance podcast i thought it was after we were had been eating for a while no this is before oh god and apparently and i remember talking to hunter about it not too long ago and you there was this guy desperately looking for his phone and you know that feeling when you're out and you lose your phone, like where the fuck is it? Freaking out.

And this man is freaking out looking for his phone. And our group apparently saw him asking everyone. Yep. And I saw it once. We picked him out of the crowd. And we heard what he was doing. And we were like, look at this douchebag. Can't find his phone.

He's in front of the diner, and he walks out to us. And before he says a fucking word to me, I go, fat fucking chance, buddy. Get out of my way. I walked right into the diner. I'm like, I want nothing to do with you. We don't have time. We need burgers and fries and fries. Inside of fries.

Yeah. I mean, it's nothing significant, but it's probably like if you ask anyone, it's like, yeah, if anyone said that, that was me. So random stranger, never ask Kuski for help. Well, he tried, and I just shut him down before he did it. Because you knew what he was going to ask for. You knew you couldn't help. I was like, fat chance.

Fat fucking chance, buddy. Welcome to the Fat Chance Podcast. That was fun. It was a good time i love doing these i got asked when we were at the the bar watching the game and even yesterday when they asked me to go with them they're like uh do you have any plans i said not really but i have a recording after the game he goes you should reschedule the recording like this is business not like this is like something i need to do granted i'm a little drunk doing it oh that's part of it but i wish this can't be like i don't want this to be like i'm hammered every episode and i'm not hammered but i could be there this cigar is really nice it's isn't it It's like nice and mild, not too harsh.

Dude, I got to come up and we got to get to Maduro. Yeah. But also, I started going to the, there's a cigar bar in Monona called The Tasting Room. And it's like four times the size of Maduro inside. Super classy place. The humidor is a walk-in and they have every cigar you could ever imagine. But doesn't the fact that Maduro is kind of small give it its character?

There will be nothing in comparison to that corner of Maduro with that one circular table and enough room for three people. Three to four people, yeah. And it's the nicest talks too. It is. It can be political. It can be religious. It can be about aliens.

It can be about like love or relationships, but it's every time I've done it. I think that's why I like it. It's everyone's receptive to everyone's thoughts. We're probably fucked up that we're just like, like yeah i would love to be a fly on the wall for our own conversations and just be like what the hell are they talking like that like everyone's like all right this is my thought and like all right i might not agree this is my point of view it is if it's an argument it is this tone the entire time and i love it right it's awesome there's a lot of I totally understand where you're coming from but this is how I feel it's almost like therapy talk I hear you

I understand you but this is and then that oh you weren't that was a different time never mind it's such a good time though I need to ash this now um that's where we discovered Corey's insane ability to pee in two seconds i actually think it might just be that place and oh it's just it also be because it is like people be like i have to get up and pee and i swear to god they just like get up and sit back down no but i feel like we actually timed him one time i think we did i was like cory that was two seconds yeah like actually i don't it was less than 30 seconds I don't think I could walk to a bathroom, pee, and come back in less than 30. He's like, yep, feel great.

Dude, there are people that like shit like that. In the first episode of this, I'm pretty sure, actually, it was the last episode of Tending a List, Ellie got up and goes, I got to shit. I'm like, oh, okay. Oh, I did listen to that part. That man came back in five minutes. Like, not even five minutes. I'm like, hey, man, did you, like, pop a few blood vessels?

Did your eyes come out of your head? Hey, sometimes it just slides right out and you're done. You don't need to do anything else. Have you ever done a no wiper? Like, legit? Without hopping in the shower? Like, without, like, purposely, like, I'm not going to wipe? Yeah, just like, I'm clean, I clean i bet no i've never bet on that's

a psychopath move you got to get these fidgety things away from me when you're clicking the whole time yeah i i couldn't do that no there have been times where uh there is no toilet paper left and i've just been like well this is. We'll see how this goes. There are, Jesus, I like this transition. There have been shits where you're like, you know, it's like, there's nothing down there. Right. But like, for your sanity, you're like, I have to do it. Like, you need that feeling. Like, that's like the period at the end of a sentence.

You don't want a chafey butthole. Oh, God. We got to move on. Okay. All right. chafey butthole it's oh god we we gotta move on okay all right you brought one of few people that actually brought things they would like to talk about kind of or things we could bring up and i have backup like thought-provoking questions kind of actually they're really dumb one's really dumb i like do you want to do those first or do you want to say those? Do you want to do the dumb one really quick? Yeah, let's get that out of the way. Okay.

It's literally so dumb and I don't think you'll ever expect it. So the other day I went to World Market with my mother. Which is a grocery store? Kind of, yeah. It's a grocery store. It's like if someone with a lot of money wanted to sell like odd food cooking ware and like lawn furniture kind of thing okay it's a it's a nice place and they have like some super nice like olive oils and whatever but they have like weird chips and whatever and i i will eat pork

sometimes trying to like it's a crunchy salty snack that's not going to kill my diet yeah no carbs or whatever and i found a few flavors like kimchi and then there was a spicy dill so we get in the car and we try them and i thought to myself when actually when i got home i was like this is the most on-brand flavoring like actually hit it out of the park thing so like when they say this is spicy dill this is dill to a t and has a kick what and my question basically following is what are like what would be like two foods snack wise that you would say actually hit what they call the flavor out of the park like for exampleitos, don't get me wrong, nacho cheese, Cool Ranch,

nacho cheese specifically don't taste like nacho cheese. They taste like a cheesy texture kind of thing. And they're good. But when you think hot nacho cheese at a ballpark, that's not what the Dorito tastes like. But I literally had the thought, this actually is like 100% the flavoring is what it said it is. What would be like, in a snack, maybe even like.

So, I don't. Doritos does have a chip that did nail it out of the park, though. Have you tried the new Buffalo Wild Wings pizza flavor? What? Like wings? Yeah. They have a sauce that is pizza flavored. Does it taste like just pizza sauce?

No, it tastes like pizza. Okay. Kind of like the aroma of pizza? It's like a garlic butter sauce with oregano and. Okay. So I know what the flavor is. It's like Italian. It tastes like Italian seasoning. Pizza Pringle. It tastes like, yeah. It's good. And I know what the flavor is. It's like Italian. It tastes like Italian seasoning,

so it tastes like, yeah. It's good, and I think it tastes like pizza. That's good. Hey, that's a good example. But I don't think they nailed it out of the park. That's just something that came into my head. Pringles, or not Pringles, Doritos used to do...

Remember the late night line they had? Yeah. Late night burger and late night taco? Their late night burger, swear to god legit cheeseburger if chad fry listens to this he knows exactly what i'm talking about no it tastes exactly like a big mac one chip it was like a big mac and a chip it was un-fucking-believable have you ever had butter pickles like bread and butter pickles yeah

bread and butter i don't like them i't either, but they taste like pickles with butter. I think that's why I don't like them because I don't want like a tablespoon of butter and a pickle. Big dill pickles. I love dill pickles, but. Yeah, I love dill pickles too. Any other kind of pickle besides dill kind of just sucks. You're good. I'm just moving the camera around.

But yeah, I'm sorry I don't have a really good answer for you. I might have to think about that one for a while. It's a dumb question, but you think about, like, what actually nailed something out of the park? Because, like, that Dorito, like, holy shit, that tastes like a cheeseburger. It tastes like a Big Mac. But their nacho cheese doesn't taste like hot nacho cheese. Yeah. That pork rind tasted like a pickle i'm gonna i'm gonna have to get some of those you can have them before we leave all right

i'll give them to you before we leave actually they're really good sounds good the kimchi ones aren't good i've also never had kimchi i don't know the only person is like uh that i've ever known to eat kimchi is guess who corey yeah he loves that i probably made him that fertile that's why he's a child weirdo yeah hey buddy condoms i'm sorry no we love you both and the kid yep dude i met the kid when he facetimed me i kept calling him the kid. I was like, dude, he has a name. And you know it, too. It's not like you're just trying to pretend like you do know it. Shake and bake, baby. Calum.

Cal. Cal. I met him. He's cute. He is. He's a good baby. He pooped in my arms. He shit in my arms.

Yeah, I would have dropped him. He shit while I was on FaceTime with Corey. Corey goes, he shits like a grown ass man. Was that after I left the day after? Yeah, yesterday. Oh, okay. And I was sitting in the parking lot of my car of Anytime Fitness and we're talking and he goes, oh my God, he shit again. And he shits like a grown ass man.

He goes, do you want to see him? Like, yeah, obviously I want to see the kid. Like, that's what we're, I'm going to call him. Like, you're the kid. Yeah, the kid. Like want to see the kid like that's what we're i'm gonna call him like you're the kid like you are the kid um and he kept looking away he goes well i gotta show him your face i gotta flip you around and i literally watched his face as his mom wiped his ass i'm like hey man we have a bond that you don't know about anymore like i've watched you get your ass watched by a grown ass woman.

Uh, here's something we should figure out. Ellie introduced me to Cal as uncle Mike. Yeah. I'm uncle Mike too. You're your uncle Mike too. I think I'm uncle Michael. You're uncle Michael. Okay.

I'm uncle fun. Let's put it that way. Hey man, I'm fun too. I didn't say you're not fun, but if we're going to pick one, that's true. I'm fun, too. I didn't say you're not fun, but if we're going to pick one. That's true. I'll give you that.

You bring the fun out of me. Yeah, it's a good time. Like, it sucks that you have to go home after this, but. Yeah. We'll find another time. I almost feel like you have more responsibility with your dog than you do a kid. Yeah, that's definitely true. Like, having him and i like we can't also go down the train that like a dog's harder than a kid no never um and also if my dog were in a fire and i had no way of getting to him i'd be like he lived a good life you would would be upset. I'd be upset, absolutely. You'd be devastated.

But also, I gave him a good life while he was here. Sorry to see him go. You would still go after him. If I knew exactly where he was and I had a clear opening, then sure, I'd go after him. You're digging yourself a hole. Just say you're going after him. My dog's never going to listen to this. No, other people will. They're like, that guy's a dick. They're like, this guy hates his dog. No, I going my dog's never gonna listen to this you know other people will they're like that guy's a dick like this guy hates his dog no i love my dog but getting back to it

i i would never change my mind about getting one uh it's almost been a year since i adopted him um but it really does suck um trying to get someone to watch him yeah the fact that he i i still can't trust him imagine bringing a kid into the mix i hope he doesn't listen to this do you think he has time he's got a kid yeah well he studies a lot so maybe he said he's listening to it a few times okay he'll probably listen to this one cory i love you buddy i think he actually definitely will listen to this and i love the mug that you gave me um because it's black rifle coffee you should get them as a sponsor we have sure um black rifle reach out um i have my mom showed me this thing on amazon that would be a perfect fucking gift

for the kid and i'm gonna i'm gonna get it for him it's um, um, I mean, Corey, you'll hear it, just, like, don't tell Ellie, but it's, uh, it's for a baby, but it's fake arm sleeves to match his dad. Oh, that is so cool. I'm also gonna get a full set

of baby t-shirts and bib with his dad's mugshot on it oh god i brought that idea up to someone a long time when they were like pregnant and i was like this is what i want to get him and they're thinking like you got to get him a serious gift and i haven't gotten anything yet i haven't and i was like i'm a bottle of whiskey and they said the people i was talking to was like you can't't do that. They'll fucking hate it. And I told Corey that yesterday.

He goes, I'm like, I guarantee you they'll find it funny. I was like, all right, just out of curiosity, what would you have thought? He goes, dude, that would have been so fucking funny. I'm like, again, that would have been the most me gift to give him. Yeah, right. If I gave half of Madison his mugshot on a t-shirt why not i don't know where that child um i told you about hannah right technically my girlfriend is this the dog part lady yeah okay but no i i'm saying i was wondering

what i should get the kid and she suggested a onesie with the w logo on it. And I thought it was... Hey, the car is locked. Oh my God. A pretty good idea, but I feel like they don't want to be known as the couple with the W baby. You made me at the W. Yeah, I don't know about the W one. I think that for initial gift, no.

I think that's where I would maybe draw the line. Right, a follow-up maybe or as a gag. Definitely like it down the line for sure. That's like first birthday kind of thing. Yeah. We can celebrate at the W. Exactly. Hey, we're taking little baby Vegas rums.

Might be the next time I go there. Hey, why are you guys here? Corey's kid turned one. What? How old are you guys? Jesus, we're 25. I'm not even 25. I'm 26.

I am not. I am 24. For all you eligible people out there. He's looking for a woman. I'm not, though. What am I going to say? Hey, you want to come back to my mom's? That's true.

You don't have a lot to work with at the moment. You got a cool podcast. A cool podcast, shitty attitude, commitment issues, which usually brings in females for the short term. But yeah, it's not going to work there's no point no point oh my god i'm glad you you tried at least tried to give that other

girl a shot yeah i've actually is there anyone else that you've like talked to or gone on a date with no um i was gonna say like i think what opened the doors when i came back from miami for a game day with godowski oh i miss him hi connor um and i mumbled i do too connor yeah we met actually you know whatever um but yeah we ended up meeting his girlfriend's roommate connor has a girlfriend dude do you live under a rock yeah i don't talk to the kid yeah like the kid's legit happy it's kind of cool oh nice it's actually awesome it's awesome to see but yeah no his uh girlfriend's roommate at the time was uh she was doing like a study abroad but here and she's from australia so like my my dumb ass was like you know what's the you know the first thing i should do the first girl i take on a date after a while should be the

girl that's leaving to a different country a few months and i took the girl on a date and it was a lot of fun like it was genuinely a lot of fun like i met her once and part of it though was like i genuinely wanted to but i'm connor told me he goes yeah uh amanda looked at me and said no like you can't talk to her i'm like hey car goes uh you just you you woke the beast like Like, he's going to try. Like, challenge accepted. Yeah. And, I mean, he was right. I literally went out of my way.

I actually asked this girl, like, met her vaguely. I was like, hey, let's go get dinner. And we did it the next week. Yeah, man. So we went to Lucille's, talked to Josh, hooked us up with a table that overlooked the Capitol. Had champagne waiting for us. And then we went to a bar afterwards. And then our old kitchen manager showed up randomly.

Oh, boy. Put me in a headlock, tried to take me to the ground. And she's now looking at me like, who the fuck are you? That some guy that she doesn't know and who I supposedly don't know is now trying to tackle me to the ground and was most likely under the influence of some sort of he kept looking at me he's like I got your drinks I'm like I mean I can pay for the drinks it's okay and he goes I got your drinks I would have been like all right two more please and I let him pay for one and then he goes you

good yeah he goes but like you good like are're right. I'm like like I was homeless You need anything from me Like no, man. I don't need to sleep on your couch Also, please don't pull out your gun next time I had drinks with you. It was oh god. I was looking In our texting conversation for something I don't remember what it was and I scrolled pretty far back and I got a screenshot of some Facebook message to you from someone about this man.

About Stefan? About Stefan. Just getting in a brawl outside of Danny's pub. I think that was you. I don't remember. Well, this a brawl outside of Danny's pub. I think that was you. I don't remember. Yeah, it was, well, this man,

by the way, was very nice to me. Yes. Very nice to all of us. Like, he had hit or miss. He had some anger stuff going on. Sorry, there's people outside. This is honestly one of my favorite parts about this, is I get interrupted by the wild.

How many times do you think they locked their car? Probably 12. Probably more than that. Is my car locked? I should probably make sure. No one's going to steal anything. Do you have anything in there worth stealing? No.

No. But yeah, thefanko thing there was uh the one incident that i mean he's had a few incidences i just said his whole name yep i was like we're just gonna keep going um i remember the first new year's i didn't do anything in madison and it snowed and there's a video of him getting his ass kicked by the whitest frat boys i've ever seen my life like the punches like if you fully extended your arms both ways and just swung not even swung just like rotating your hips a little bit that is how they were punching him and like he lost, he lost. Like, it wasn't good.

I mean, he didn't have good footing. It was a little icy, but. Was he working or was he? Yeah. Oh, God, that's right. I don't know. I think he was. It was a.

Yeah, it's an interesting character. We've met some interesting people. But, you know, let's get to the things on your list. I'm curious what you have. Well, so we kind of touched on like the girl thing i was really curious about that because you know i want the best for you i'd like the best for me too but i'm telling you right now the girl department let's just like we'll leave that okay um i guess so like i i only really get bits and pieces about about what you're doing with the podcast

and with your other life aspirations. And I'd like to know more about what you're doing. I think with regards to this show, so I guess for anyone that listens, probably listen to the Tending a Lisp as well. So Tending a Lisp, I. So Tending a Lisp, I've wanted to do a podcast since I was in college.

And I got, I've mentioned this before, I got a group of my friends to do one. There's like six of us. I put on the phone at, actually this table that we do it around, like I have to do everything around this table. Like this table means a lot to me.

It is a room essentials table that's had every drug under the sun done on it millions of beers go through it people cried on it i'm pretty sure my roommate had sex on it like nice job sam no um you wouldn't know but i got in college to do it and like we thought it was, that's why I call this, like we should make a podcast podcast because that's how it like, I got in my,

like, I want to do this. I've always wanted to do it. And then this summer I was very, I've been very confused on like what direction, like I know what I want to do and direction wise, but like where to start. And you know what? i'm not afraid of like

hey i need some help like someone do something with me sure whatever like i can't do stuff with the pandemic and then i found braxton and i've always been friends with him and someone said he wants to do a podcast he's always someone i'm like fuck yeah like him and i are perfect sure like two personalities that don't shut up like we can talk for hours and so we did the technicalist thing and then he got super busy with school girlfriend work and he's just like hey i can't commit like it's not as interesting or fun or like fun for him because he's stressed about like finding time to do it like this should be something he wants to do not something he has to do and i told him i was like i appreciate you just being

straight up honest with me i'd rather you not half-ass it um for me because like that that'd be brutal like then it's just like i'm delaying the inevitable right and so then i start the new one which sucks because this new one is now just me and anyone i want and i've told you about like other people i want that like i could have some fun people coming up but i have that youtube experiment that i want to do and i love that concept the idea that we do this and then you pick my next guest okay and i could i could reach anywhere in the world but that also now looks like the same thing i'm doing here true so then it's tough it's i've had a lot of restructuring i don't even know like i write can you explain what the other project is for people that haven't like looked it

up or seen it yeah so right now on youtube it's Trading Up. There's three episodes out. Four, actually. There's like a trailer-like one, and then the first initial, and then someone who spread it on to someone else. The concept is I started with two people we went to college with, Lorenzo and Adam. Someone who had legitimate TikTok fame. He he started the taylor swift like skateboard whatever trend and then adam who adam if you listen to this um or nothing um but no it's okay i'm nothing too but like one of my favorite people i've ever met my entire life and basically the

i'm gonna change the name to name drop because it's kind of what I want. Sure. And I want you to tell, like, give me a story. Let's catch up if I know you. But give me a story. We can talk tangents, whatever. And then you pick. It's not just what I want. It's what you think other people might want or who you think has a good story who I don't know.

Yeah. think has a good story who i don't know yeah because there are like if it's just me i like i know if i grab you or cory or hunter or connor yeah you know exactly what you're going to talk about i know like i know what i want out of them and then it could get scripted to me and i don't like that i mean this isn't scripted obviously at all but to have just one meet random people sure like new stories connections stuff can come out of it and it's a fun little experiment it doesn't need to be a whole concept of a show but it is a fun experiment and i'm bummed that it's slow but i'm fine that it's slow because the person that is fine trying to find someone now genuinely is trying to like find the best person for and it's awesome like they're like if you have someone that's genuinely interested in

the idea you're gonna meet some cool fucking people okay which is gonna be fun and so i want fun stories and it'd be cool to one day say it's basically i initially called it trading up it's like i started with a penny not calling calling Lorenzo out of my hands. Lorenzo's had more success than you and I ever will. And then, ever will? Jesus Christ. Okay,

then I ever will. No, that's all right. But then you end up with like a house. Like if I started with you and all of a sudden I'm talking to

Yellich. Well, I was going to say you better invite me on for that podcast, but I was expecting you were going to say like Joe Rogan or something. I don't need to talk to Yellich. There is not a chance that man ever gets on this. You don't know that. Now you're selling yourself short.

Yeah. I have a problem. Not a problem with that, but I've always been someone like, I don't like compliments. Like I like, don't get me wrong, I like them. Everyone likes compliments. I've always been someone like I don't like compliments like I like don't get me wrong I like them everyone likes compliments right everyone likes them I don't know how to handle them I'm also afraid to accept them because I know if they go to my head it's gonna get bigger than it already is like it's you're gonna cross that line we were talking exactly and so if you just kind of like thank you but then can we just stop talking about it

is kind of what i prefer like i genuinely genuinely appreciate the compliment right however please don't double down because and also how do you reply to a compliment like thank you or do you say yeah i like your shoes or do you do you respond with a compliment that's another thing like if a girl comes up to you and i know girls have had this with guys and girls here i think you're a little more heartless when it comes to this, and a guy can be like, oh, my God, you're beautiful, and you just go, thank you. And then switch your hair and then walk away.

And then you just walk away, or you're like, thank you. Can I have a drink? But if a girl comes up to a guy. Are all the experiences you've had with girls at the W? No. I'm just kidding. I've talked to females outside of where i used to work where they had to talk to me he's like can i have a rum and coke that's not the only time i've talked to a girl um by the sounds of this podcast yeah it is right um but if a girl comes up to a guy and you don't find the girl attractive and she goes oh my god you're so hot do you want to lie to her and be like thanks you too thanks let me get you a rum and coke or does this yeah

or do you just go um yeah thank you and then it sounds like you didn't come right you didn't come back and she's like oh what the fuck yeah like that's not what I wanted out of this. Like, I know what you wanted out of this, but, like, I'm sorry I don't reciprocate it. Yeah. Compliments are awkward. They're awkward, but, I mean, we're also complaining about being praised. Like, it's. Right. It's so dumb.

I think that I told you your hair looked fabulous this morning. Whose? Yours. Mine. I told you that this morning. this morning. Whose? Yours. Mine. I told you that this morning. I'm not going to lie. I told Gain this this morning. I was FaceTiming him as well.

I get into a mood where I just FaceTime him. I burnt the fuck out of this. Yeah, you kind of hit the sides and not the butt. It worked, though. So I had a mullet Like you took a My hair was so long That you were like Taking screenshots

When I had a hat on When I was at the gas station We were calling each other And I'm like This is fucking gross And uh For To give a visual

If you work out And let's say you're squatting And you put that bar on your back The bar Was on top of my hair And pull on it if you work out and let's say you're squatting and you put that bar on your back, the bar was on top of my hair and pull on it. Oh, I didn't like that at all. Um,

so I decided to finally get it cut. And it's my first haircut I've ever gotten that they only use scissors. They didn't use a razor or anything like that. And I didn't know what to tell her. She goes, what do you want don't know but like don't i don't want it like i don't want two and three like and she was fucking phenomenal and the first haircut i think i've like i've gotten haircuts before like i love my short hair um which i don't have now oh my god i hope that comes through on the audio because they just locked their door again.

That is locked 15 times now to the point where it's probably unlocked. But I got the haircut and I remember looking at her and she goes, how's that look? And I literally said, fuck, I look good. I was like, I fucking love this. This is awesome.

Yeah. And usually if I get a haircut and it's long what I'm at now is usually when I'm like I need it cut and I got it cut last week and I like this now

and when I get it cut I'll still put a hat on I'll go work out or I'll move it around because I don't like the way they style it I'm like oh whatever I'll grow it in a few days and I'll like work out or I'll like move it around. Cause I don't like the way they style it. I'm like, Oh, whatever. I'll grow out a few days and I'll like it. This one. I was like, I want this here forever.

And I like it a lot. I want this to you forever. I don't know. I kind of like the longer hair. It's not terrible. I'm trying it out too. It's not. You,

you got good hair though. You have for the fade too. Yeah, it's good I like the like Straight slick back My thing is like Is that what it is right now I don't even know Mine right now is like

I can do like a middle part I have like a mad hat Yeah you do But like I have Yeah I have Like a middle side part Oh yeah

Well You look good When you're not When you don't have bad hair. Yeah. I'll fix it before we go back out. I'm going to reek like a sicko. You're going back out? What am I going to do, sit at home at 8 o'clock?

Yeah, by the time we're done with this, we'll probably be like 9. Okay. We are what? We're going to be like. What do you think we are right now? I want say like 45 minutes we're an hour in dang that's the thing is it goes back would easily do hours and we always end an hour but it's also because we're sober i'm just like all right we've extended what we want to talk about when i drink jesus I just nail it there goes my phone that'll get you

um these last forever like the the split up between the end of tending a lisp and the start of fat chance is a total of

three and a half hours the split up yeah so I took tending a lisp and explain these terms so

when I ended tending a lisp okay cause I didn't wanna like I can'tending a Lisp. Explain these terms. So when I ended Tending a Lisp, because I didn't want to, like, I can't continue a podcast that's named after my co-host who doesn't do it anymore. So to end it, I said, this is part one of these people. And then I took the other half of it.

We took a small break and we just, like, someone shit and we came back and we did another. And I said, do you want the rest of the conversation it's the start of the show and did you put that up as fat chance buddy yeah okay it's fat chance podcast i haven't promoted yet i wanted to get this one i want to and um so yeah that is one thing i've noticed and i know you've heard criticisms before criticisms before yeah i don't you don't promote for no for shit and so when i started doing it i got the criticism and then i started doing it a decent amount and then braxton started taking breaks and then for some reason just like in my head i'm like it doesn't feel like i'm doing tending a list i'm just like filling spots i was like this is useless kind of thing. And every

time... Jesus, fuck. Someone's home. And so I just never did it, which is dumb. It's so dumb of me and I need to do it, even if I'm annoying to someone or everyone. But this one I'll be more

active with. I mean, at least you're not, cause it's just me. At least you're not trying to be like a face or not a face, uh, Instagram influencer or a Tik TOK influencer. Like, no,

that's it. That's the other thing too. It's like, I don't want to, I don't want to, yeah, I don't want to come off as that person, even though like I genuinely like doing this.

I don't want to be the person that's like, all right guys, I'm now promoting detox tea. And yeah, I won't do that. I really don't want to do that. But I do need to play the game and be like, hey, let's get it out there. And I will eventually probably gain house the podcast. I'm in the middle of it, buddy. Shout out to you, big guy.

Well, yeah, I don't want to be that that person but i do need to play the game so like with the cameras coming in it's gonna be awesome i can do the the little clips like new episode out and then there's an actual clip of us talking right and it's little snippets that make you want to listen. I want to like, well, what else are these two idiots or buffoons talking about? Yeah. That's, I'd share it. It's a, what's a what?

I'll share it. I figured you would. I'll make you share it. I'll send you all the, this thing is I have graphics and stuff. Like I'll make all of it. And I've been, I sent as a joke,

I sent my buddy buddy a who comedy goes i get enough of the uh the alien talk on your podcast and that's what i found i was like oh shit he's actually listening every week sure i think he might be one of the first one that listens every week which is awesome and i sent him a video two nights ago on Snapchat. And I was searching through the TV. And it said, like, aliens, UFOs, and what they haven't told us. And I'm like, just prepping for this week. He goes, you should make tinfoil t-shirts. I'm like, hell yeah.

I was like, tinfoil hat t-shirt. I'm like, I'll add it to the list because I have a list of things that I really can't do anymore because they're tending the list. But I had a list of, like, merch I would do and all that stuff that stuff and be fun like that's a good thing you did I made I made the Cory t-shirts I think I can make some other t-shirts I'd buy it this is I like it it's me I want to get paid that was such a long pause that was so bad um if i could get paid just for being me everyone could but right just being me but like i'm actually trying to do it and other people don't yeah that's the thing i mean but it's also fun you know i've talked about doing one too um i have offered you the girl one girl that's been on your mor Morgan and her friend to do one and one other person like I will legit produce all your shit.

I mean, time and an idea. We have your idea. I have your website built already. Legit. But it's so broad. I want to narrow it down. What would you want to do? You want to do politics?

No, I like it's a bad time. It is. It's a really bad time. And it's politics. No, I... It's a bad time. It is. It's a really bad time. It's great, but it's also a bad time. If you can get a handle on it, there's so much shit happening. And trying to follow it while also doing my 9 to 5 is impossible. And then you just get anxious. And by the time you get a handle on one thing

something else is going on in a completely different area you kind of just have to pick something and just roll with it like pick one subject like hey there's plenty other things going on but like i'm gonna tackle this one today and it's hard because yeah people who are kind of like perfectionists like i want to do or i want to include everything you want the whole story it's tough but you kind of just have to bite the bullet. I'm like, oh, I can always go back, but I'm going to hammer home this one. Yeah. I also was thinking of doing kind of like a – I don't want to call it role models.

That's not a good name for it. That's terrible, but yeah. Like do a talk show kind of like this, but you sit down with people that you look up to or you appreciate something about their life or you've been inspired by them. Talk about their story and like maybe do it like a day in the life kind of thing. Because one thing that I've always been grateful for growing up is good role models. And I always find inspiration in seeing things that people do like i think i told you when i finally listened to multiple episodes of your podcast i was like dude this has inspired me to start working on that was actually probably one of my favorite

texts i've gotten you said myself don't mean to be soft but i'm like legit proud that you're still doing this like this isn't something you just put out and then stop because like maybe you didn't get enough of what you wanted but like you're still doing it well i was like yeah and a lot of people who order this equipment and i'm scared that i'm going to be one of them um will just record a couple episodes not put the work into edit not put the work in to get it out there and just kind of like toss it in their closet be like yeah maybe i'll start that i'll do it again yeah but it's that also i would say is like what gets you to do it is buy the equipment this shit ain't cheap um at all and i mean it's not the most expensive thing in the world but if you view it as an investment you're definitely gonna put more time into it

like when i said with the everything else that i just bought like not cheap and it makes me and that's why I said when someone said you should just reschedule this podcast and like I get what you're saying like you know it's like hey you're gonna have a lot of fun you're not gonna want to do this and I am gonna want to do this because I love doing this for one like this is and I don't I don't get to see you very often right it's like it's a good excuse yeah but also it's like also that's good shit this is like a this is like a business I mean it's like it's a good excuse yeah but also it's like also that's good shit this is like a this is like a business i mean it's not a profitable one right now but it's like it will be something but it's like i'm starting something and i'm putting effort into it if i'm

gonna put money and time like an effort like i need to put the time in as well so yeah it is something that is scary though like you're afraid that like if i do this am i just gonna give up and yeah but once you buy the thing it's like i have to like that's how my brain works like i have it i have to do it yep it just doesn't make sense when my mom bought me protein powder for the first time and i was like well i guess i should probably go work out exactly and here i am weird example but yeah i get what you're saying yeah i think it's there why not use it right like if you have the opportunity and it's something it's just gonna go to waste but like just waiting like just thinking oh shit's gonna work out it doesn't yeah like you have to put in the effort to make. And I'm not even, I'm not anywhere near perfect at doing that.

This is like step one and two. That's it. And the other thing is putting yourself out there, like actually publishing original content that you don't know if people are going to enjoy. Ignorance is bliss. I'll tell you that right now. Yeah. Yeah.

If you put it out and just pretend like, oh yeah, it's out there, but I don't even know how to listen to it. I don't care. But yeah, no, that is tough. It is. When I first put it out, I accidentally put it out, actually. I didn't mean to put it out. I made the account to put the podcast on Spotify, and I uploaded two episodes, which I thought was just to the hosting platform.

Oh, okay. On Spotify or? No, I use Anchor. Okay. And so I put these, actually, yeah, I put two to four episodes up in two

and I put them on and I thought it was just on like the thing and I said I could put like publish whenever I want. And I was going to wait till I had four. It was like, I want to bank so people can listen enough. And then they have another one to listen to. And I'm laying on the couch after I put them on there.

I'm like, all right, I'm done for the night. I get it. Like my phone buzz and he goes, congratulations. You are now on Spotify. I'm like,

what the fuck? Which is also really cool. Yeah. Like a platform that you go to for well-established musicians and like comedians or news anchors whatever and you're like oh they're supposed to be on here right like this is like they do this for a living and then you google my name and it's like, he has two shows on there. This doesn't make sense. You kind of realize how illegitimate some of these things are. But yeah, it is really cool.

I'm on here too. I can actually do this, which is surreal as fuck. And it's such a good feeling. You'll get used to listening to your own voice. Yeah, I'm a little nervous about that part. Don't listen to this episode. Oh, I'm definitely going to listen to it. I'm going gonna listen to all of the stupid things i say that you edited out i won't edit anything well that might be worse i'm literally when we're done with this i will

hit save what's gonna happen is i will hit save and i go hey what did we talk about because i legitimately will not know every time yeah i, I love your descriptions on tending. Most of it is just like, don't even remember what we talked about. The last one before it ended, I literally said, I have no fucking clue what we talked about, but listen. And I said, change is coming soon because I knew it was over. I was in a bad place. I'm like, this is over.

But legit, because I posted it late, I was like, I have no fucking clue what we talked about so do you go through and edit every do you listen to every single one all the way through or i don't know if you want like want to keep talking about this but i find it interesting no no i that's fine i don't care i uh i've said this multiple times but like the first couple i edited out like the long pause or some arms just to make it sound more fluid. And then in my house, like that doesn't make sense for like,

I want, want this to be like raw unedited. That sounds like not it, but like, just like this is supposed to be a conversation and it's supposed to be fun, funny, like enjoyable swap stories kind of thing. And,

or like eventually like people promoting what they want on and uh then i just stopped doing it and i've edited a few things um if someone shared a name they didn't want or um and like but i've been lucky like stefan people like stefan yeah um but like there are times where like hey can you edit that I'm like I'm not that well versed and just like and whatever I've been lucky

on like one or two where someone said a name then pause and I can just like delete it and just like whatever but I would say of

this would be the 18th episode I've ever done of the 18 I've edited've ever done of the 18 I've edited before otherwise I literally will just save

and then tomorrow I will upload it schedule it for I'll probably release these on Tuesdays now and that's it oh boy

yeah and then I'll let you know when you gotta put it on all your social media fabulous yeah it's a it's fun And then I'll let you know when you got to put it on all your social media. Fabulous. Yeah.

It's fun. It's going to be a lot more now when I have fucking video to deal with. And I have no one sitting at. You take for granted when you have the money and you're getting sponsors, someone sitting at the camera or the computer like, like oh you can switch between cameras sure like oh they're talking switch whatever i'm just gonna have both of them going and i'm gonna have to go back like oh he's talking he's like this has been how much would a switchboard cost you though you just do it like a little yeah but like no one wants to see me do this on the thing like

no one wants to also i could just put like side by side right now videos yeah that's true too i'll cop out until someone is dumb enough to be like, hey, I'll do it for free. Internship. You want an internship at Kuski LLC? Michael Kuski Media. Michael Kuski Media. Walk the line franchise. There you go.

Yeah, I'm saving that for something else. Okay. Probably my right forearm. I want, oh God. We can talk about tattoos. We could talk about tattoos. I want some so bad. How many do you have now?

Just the one? Just the one. I wanted to, oh, I'm not even talking to the microphone. I, when Minnesota, I wanted to get one really bad And then Didn't happen And Thing is like

I have a little brother I mentioned here Who has a tattoo gun Gave me my one I have Is he here now? Can we do that? No he's in Florida He's in Florida

Probably contracting COVID And Is that good? That bang? I was really skeptical about the birthday cake is it good it's really good but like could you drink an entire thing of it or is that uh we'll see but i don't know there's no sugar there's no calories i i know however though um yeah bang wants to send us money or cans or you know red bull i kind of prefer a red bull i don't take bang over red bull to be honest i get flashbacks also do you realize how much caffeine

we used to consume working at a shift at w like the recommended daily value is 400 milligrams what's in a cup of coffee depends like a i think a grande Which is like a 16 ounce From Starbucks Is that a medium? No that's a Large I don't know But then there's an extra large

There's the venti Anyways And then there's a tall Which is actually the small Just small medium large Okay Medium 16 ounces

Has 300 milligrams From Starbucks So that's almost like A medium is That's how much Is in a bang So 16 ounces has 300 milligrams from Starbucks so that's almost like a medium is almost your daily value that's how much is in a bang so

bang has to have way more because I legit have heart attacks when I have them it's 300 and that's a lot because you can chug those things

and finish them in like half hour 45 minutes if I'm lazy and that's almost your whole daily value in 45 minutes

if I'm lazy and don't make free workout before i work out and i'll like go and do the podcast cooler and grab a bang which there's literally like every month like twice this week i went into the podcast cooler and grabbed a bang is that why there's only birthday cake bash left yeah there's we used we had like 30 different flavors it's actually i don't know where some of them went. Like there was a Georgia sweet tea, peach, whatever. Those are actually good. I've had them.

Like, I don't know where that went. And what sucks is I'll take one to the workout and like, I'm drinking, well, I had one today. It was a cotton candy. Like that's like the last thing you want to drink while you're working out. Like my mouth was disgusting. Yep. Where were we before this? I don't know.

I got really distracted by the birthday cake. Real distracted, yeah. Oh, tattoos. Oh, tattoos, yeah. Oh, and my brother contracting COVID and he's in Tampa. And from, we know one girl that lives in tampa and from her snapchats i'm pretty sure the pandemic just i guess hasn't hit there like everyone in her snapchats or whatever it's just all the bar no one gives two shits i'm like i don't think they know what covid is. Oh my God. Steven's coming back with the Rona, the Rome. You might as well

just get it. But yeah, no, I have him. I basically have a tattoo artist in the house. The problem is he's not that experienced. And when I was in Minnesota, I got obsessed with ink masters. Ah, that'll do it. They do great. Oh, God. This was such, I love this idea they did. Just off the looks of the people. Because it's like,

I hate reality TV and one of the guys I was with hates it as well. It was like, this is where I draw the line. This is actually entertaining. Is it a competition? It's a competition, yeah.

It's like, do you have what it takes to be Ink Master? And you get 100 grand. That's a low amount's a competition, yeah. It's like, do you have what it takes to be Ink Master? And you get $100,000. That's a low amount for a reality TV show. But what they did, and I asked to join for one of the new seasons, is they do a fantasy draft. So just off the intro of all the people on episode one,

we do a snake draft, and we pick who we want. Okay, so I actually did that on the last season of the bachelorette with my roommates so yeah i was forced into it by the way people probably do it for a lot of things but like you do the snake concert we're like just whoever they look whatever they look like we grabbed them yep and the season i like i joined halfway through and i wasn't part of it i was like vested in like them too and they ended up with like one person each in the finale and it was like vets and rookies and like they were doing like legit tech like they looked good yeah and there was one guy that did this like pin-up girl and i looked at the guys i'm like i would straight up right now get that um that exact tattoo on my

body no second like no regrets. Wouldn't second guess myself. And I would then turn that into a sleeve. Steven's not like that. I think he could be there. The guy's half blind in one eye and can draw better than probably, he's probably in the 1% of people who can draw. It's ridiculous.

Do you know if Tree's doing tattoos yet? I know he's drawing. I don't know. I talked about Tree with Harwell in the other show, and I would love for him to give me one. I think it would be cool. I know he was like an apprentice there. He doesn't talk to me.

Tree, if you ever listen to this, please. Actually, we should just reach out to him. We're being bad friends. Tree, I love you and i miss you so respond to my instagram dms um but yeah i i have him there and i could get him basically for free he charges family he goes i'll give you the family price the family price is you charging us you don't charge your fucking friends um he gave his friends like a full like thigh thing it was ridiculous

how do you feel about a thigh tattoo i don't think i'd see the point uh i i view the thigh as your mental experimental and your gag tattoos so like if you have one like basically what i have on my forearm probably should be a thigh tattoo kind of can i see it just now i forgot what it was oh yeah that's right yeah um so like i want the i want the ass titties things ah right you're blowing up real quick My car just started from my pocket. See, I feel like I should go lock my doors now. I just started my car.

You started your car. I thought your pocket was telling you that. Oh, we're going to warm it up, I guess. Yeah, it was alarming. Okay. Have you seen Joe Lehrman's thigh tattoo? Yeah, the big ones I don't like. I don't know which one that is. He has the rugby bucky.

Which I actually think is cool because rugby guys are wild. They're badass. I don't like the general idea of having a giant one. The thigh should be little things. Kind of like your forearm.

I would entertain the idea when I was in Miami there was a guy with the cool he made me want to get a full calf sleeve it looked so cool so cool I've never entertained anything below the waist but my brother has one on his calf like on his Achilles and he goes it's the most pain I've ever done it I'm pretty I think the answer I could be wrong top of the foot I heard is bad but like I mean that's on his calf, like on his Achilles, and he goes, it's the most pain I've ever been in. I'm pretty, I think. And the top of the foot I heard is bad too. But like, I mean, that's on your Achilles. Like that's got to be tough. I got, I wanted, and I was in the car yesterday

on the way to hang out with Jake. And I was like, I was listening to a song. I'm like, I really, there's a quote in, I have two quotes kind of thing. I want to walk the line and like a different one. like sooner or later like i want just a bunch of words i'm just gonna look like a novel if i just keep getting okay so i've actually wanted something like that too but i would feel bad because i saw it on a guy at the downtown madison gym that's the thing you feel like you're copying people when you get

and it was actually a super sick tattoo he had uh like philosophical quotes and like words from different languages that like spiraled around his bicep and went all the way down to his elbow so it's like every single passage that he studied that is meaningful to him and it just keeps on going down his arm and it looks really cool. I was thinking about it. The only way I feel like I can get all the quotes I want, I'm getting cold.

Do you want... No, I'm okay. I'm just going to light this up more. That's going to smell really bad. That was terrible. I was thinking about how would I get everything I wanted, knowing people do with sleeves,

and they kind of shade in the underarm or whatever, and just kind of blends in. I would just do every quote on the inner arm. Oh, okay. What do you think is the dumbest tattoo you've thought about getting, or that you liked? I know mine, but i still would get it i there were there so cory and i reached out to bang bang tattoos in new york because they do super sick tattoos i don't know

if you've seen them i don't like the name dude just look at their page on Instagram. It's insane. So, like, we were thinking about what we would get if we were able to have access to these incredible tattoo artists. Yeah, like legit artists. Yeah, and I was thinking, like, something super intricate like a woods and a deer and something. I don't know. So, I don't think I would ever do that, even if I had the opportunity to. Mine's really simple. I really like traveling and i like going a lot of places um i haven't been able to i was with the pandemic and but i think it would be cool something small and just start doing like a tally system just countries you've been to and

just like one tally two tally three t three tally. And I told that, and he goes, you're literally just going to start marking your arm because you went to a con. I'm like, yeah, but like it would kind of look like aesthetically pleasing if you just kind of had a few lines placed. Yeah, if you checked them off. Hello, Andrew. He does. Where are you going?

Get drunk? Where are you going to get drunk? Didn't hear that um anyways i was gonna say my really good friend ryan from sheboygan um he and i got our tattoos on the same day we went together and he got a map of the you need a monologue i'm gonna peel so he got a map of the need a monologue i'm gonna peel so he got a map of the world on his back um and every country he goes to he fills it in with a different color i like my idea it's um it's a lot it's a big area to fill uh with a map and it's gonna be hard for him to fill every single country up with a different color. But I think it's a cool idea. And Michael just told me that if I run out of ideas for my monologue that I should compliment him. So I want to say that I really like the way he wears

socks that are lower than his low-cut shoes. So you can't see the socks that he's wearing. And his ankles are really, really white like Casper the Friendly Ghost. They're not wider than my shoes. Do you think I'd get my brother to turn my car off? They're not wider than your shoes. Turn your car off? Yeah, my car's still running.

Don't you have that option with your... I can't turn it off from here. Just mine goes off if you push the start function again i haven't even buttoned my pants yet that's the thing though is the car i bought like this guy jerry rigged this yeah like this no like this wasn't supposed to be in the car there's like i have an aftermarket starter that's the thing people put those in their cars. Yeah. We're waiting for it to turn off.

It's not. I'm just going to tell Andrew. Andrew! We'll see. We'll figure it out. We could also wrap this soon. Yeah, whenever you want. Well, I'm having fun. Oh, God. We'll call. We'll figure it out. We could also wrap this soon. Yeah, whenever you want. Well, I'm having fun. Oh, God. We'll call Andrew Durant. Do you have anything else? Andrew?

Who the fuck is here now? There's a crowd outside. They have pitchforks and torches. Andrew! No? Come on. Okay, there's a lot of stuff that we didn't talk about. Like I yelled at the lady that got out of the car who I thought was you,

I just yelled at four guys. You're having a great night with strangers. We'll call Andrew. Stephanie Shea from Indeed asked if I want to be a campus shuttle driver. Hell yeah. Yeah. Let me hop right on that opportunity. What does your resume look like right now?

I need to update it to like everything I've produced and all that stuff. Do you have two different resumes for like odd jobs? I did before. I don't anymore. Um, my resume is terrible. I mean, actually, it's a good-looking resume, but if I applied for a job now, they'd look at me like,

hey, man, were you dead for a year and a half? All right, I have a really good question for you. I want to hear it. I'm also going to call my brother while we're doing this. Should I wait for you to do that? No, go for it. Okay. Let's say

you get really hammered um hey are you still inside yeah um are you leaving soon like 10 minutes okay in 10 minutes i need you to take my keys and turn my car off i accidentally started it from my pocket okay all right thanks buddy oh. All right, thanks, buddy. Oh, that was nice. All right, bye. Yeah, occasionally he's nice. All right, so long night of drinking. You're at a... Potentially tonight.

A bar at the old SIGEP frat house. Oh, boy. We're in the quad. You are... You sit down in a chair, and the world just starts spinning. Okay. You know where this is going? Nope.

When you spin. Oh, good God. I know where this is going. Do you spin clockwise? Do you spin clockwise or counterclockwise? I've never got a consensus. I would say I'm clockwise, but I also don't think like nothing like legit cartoon spins. Yeah, it does.

Maybe I'm Superman. Like if you close your eyes, you can feel that your brain is spinning one way or the other. I would say like, I think I'm the world spins counterclockwise. I'm spinning clockwise. For me, the spins to me is like mouthwash, which sounds weird. But like my, no, my head feels like I'm like swishing stuff around in my mouth. No, like that's not the spins. Like I don't actually spin in a circle.

Like my head is just like everywhere. Just like, oh shit. And I feel dizzy. Okay, yeah, I get that too. But that's when you're up and moving around. Oh, sit down. I'm just like, oh, shit. And I feel dizzy. Okay, yeah, I get that too, but that's when you're up and moving around. Oh, sit down. I'm just like, oh, fuck. Okay.

So you don't spin in a circle? I would say if I had a tendency, it would be clockwise. Okay. I should really start keeping track of who spins counterclockwise. I do. Are you dumb? Or are you just stupid? Probably both. I don't know what I'm doing. All right, are you just stupid? Probably both.

I don't know what I'm doing. All right, tell you guys where we're at. This is like turning into just two idiots in a cold garage. We are at 1.30. 1.28, that's pretty good. Hell yeah. My internal clock. That last half hour was slower than I thought.

I don't remember what we talked about. All right, next thing. What else you got? I know you got more. Let's knock them off. There was a lot about girls that I wanted to ask you about, but you kind of just pushed that out of the sphere. I mean, go ahead.

Go for it. I'll shut some down. I know that. Ask away. I have a question. Okay. You're going to hate me for this no names no names uh but why is it that every girl that i either match with on a dating app in madison or matched with i don't have that anymore uh you want my opinion on your dating problems? No. No. I want to know why every single one that I am interested in, you have touched in ways.

That's been one person. Two people. Two. And now I'm scared to ask about anyone else. Two. Who's the second? Mouth it to me. I texted you about her probably a month or two ago um now i don't even remember her names

oh i know i know exactly what the people were talking about they're in the same friend group yeah are they yeah and i was like oh she's super cute and she knows people that but like would you rather me not be honest with you no i totally appreciate the honesty because as soon as you told me i was like like, well, cross her off the list. You know what? Sometimes even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while. You just happen to be like an even dumber squirrel and found the nut I threw away. That sounds so bad.

That sounds so bad. Did not throw away. Did not throw away. Jesus, fuck. I need to not talk so the note I have for that topic was ask Husky about every girl I meet

in case he banged her we really need to pick a like a lane do I have sex or do I always have sex and you used to no i weren't you weren't coherent for a lot of it from what i understand sounds bad um no that does sound bad i'm just he he can recount most of it i'm just no it's i would say

i think everyone goes through like a slutty phase. Yeah. Hi, Mom. I went through my phase. Let's put it this way. You know how I mentioned the whole, like when I took the Australian girl on a date and I was told no. Yeah. And I was like, oh, I was told no.

I'm going to do it. You like a challenge but like that like i do stuff to prove a point kind of thing and so my slutty face because to be honest i lost my virginian college my freshman year i don't think i had sex for a year and a half after that like i think i didn't i don't yeah like it's but like year and a half after that. Like I, I didn't, I don't like it. But like I had, I will first of it. I had a good six month run where it's like,

Hey man, get checked. Um, but that was like almost out of spite. Just to prove something. Yeah. And I mean, I don't know what I mean,

but yeah. And I was just like, Oh, I can do this too um it's not fulfilling it's fun don't get me wrong but it's not i'm absolutely not fulfilled the never be the person that i can like i don't like myself in the morning nine times out of ten there are some where i'm like high five but i would say seriously you need

a girlfriend but a few of the times i'm like hey man um let's take it easy next weekend what the fuck are you doing um yeah it's and you know what i think it's unlucky it doesn't help but i mean you're on a dating profile in a small area. We went to college where everyone knows each other. I just so happen to have sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky. You wanted to date Monica Lewinsky. Was it that cigar? What?

Was it that cigar? I was referencing Bill Clinton because he and Monica had some fun with the cigar in the Oval Office oh Jesus Christ um but yeah that was it is actually unfortunate the fact that the first one you asked my opinion on this person's like character in general

and that girl asked her opinion on you which I thought was hysterical because I remember being like hammered when she asked me a question and I'm like can we not do this like i really don't want to do this um the second one was hysterical i'm like hey man hey to this you again well that's why i asked you because i know it's a trend i think you're gonna do that every time now it's gonna be like 30 years down line hey man i live in a different state you've never been here before but just clarify yeah do you know this woman you've never seen her before right like correct what the hell was that i don't know i think my car exploded

my keys are making noises well hopefully we don't have to encounter that situation yeah hopefully this works i think it ended did he turn it off no i think it just stopped um if i leave it on too long for the remote, I think it just turns off by itself. That's what mine does. What were your other girl questions? Or was that the only one? Let's just run down your list.

We'll do your list and then we can wrap this up. It's pretty much over. I had one on there that I can show you, but you probably don't want to talk about it. Let's see it. Because we can both relate to this. I feel like I know where it's going to go. Yeah, no, that ain't happening.

That ain't happening. Fair enough. Yeah, we can. Who would? I wouldn't even know who yours is Oh, that's a good thing Never mind I would have an idea Yeah

But like, I mean, you clearly know Fine I think a lot of people who would Most people who listen to this know They put two and two together I said just about everything but the name Yeah Alright people who listen to this no no they put two and two together i said just about everything but the name um yeah all right what is in your experience with i don't know have you had any successful romantic relationships i've had three legitimate like titled relationships yeah that add up to 10

months and by the way one of them was nine months hey you're still beating me i'm at my third and i think i'm at like three months jesus you're the first person that's ever beat me out in that category yep yeah have i had any successful ones i guess the nine months one but okay high school so oh that's pretty far away. I don't know if this will be relevant. What is something about yourself that you think would be a deal breaker in a negative way with women but isn't? But isn't?

Yeah. Like for me, I always feel like the second I tell a girl that I'm diabetic or they see my Darth Vader- hand that they're just gonna be like oh this guy let's say I feel like you would the hand would be the thing it's uh it basically insecurities that you think are gonna be a big deal but dude I forget that you even have that I think just because I know you so well yeah and I don't even know if I had a conversation with Hannah about it but yeah I feel like she's definitely noticed. Yeah, she's definitely noticed. I mean, it's not a big deal at all.

I mean, it's just like your gooch is on your hand. Yeah, dude, I got pubes going on my... I think that's the funniest part about it. I don't know. I think the hard part about that question is that I think isn't a deal breaker because I don't think I...

I think... I'm still like i'm definitely not mature enough to do anything serious right now um i don't know that's a that's a good question what i think would be a deal breaker but wouldn't be that it's also like very dependent on who it is who it is yeah um. Let's put it this way. I can tell you this. What I'm doing right now. Oh, yeah? I can see that.

If I had a girlfriend say, hey, you should meet this girl. But you're like, all right. Let's say you're on a FaceTime with someone. Like, oh, talk yourself up. I'm like, all right. If you're into someone who is 5'0", zero 100 pounds soaking wet with a shaky future a big ego commitment issues a high sexual drive but low output like that's that's and that's what you're into like the shaky future thing like what do you mean shaky future like i want to do entertainment

yeah i mean it is high risk high reward it's like that girl that gave you her number at the bar she's like hi what's your name then she looked i'm michael yeah this ain't what do you want to do with your life i'm in grad school i do a podcast i do podcasts i write jokes oh uh my grandpa got covid and i'm moving to kentucky yeah i'm like, oh, I'm actually a dude. Never mind. No, I'm not a dude. But yeah, I think that would be my one. It's like my desired occupation.

And I mean, for what you want to do, it would be hard to nail down a relationship at this point in your life. I'm trying to commit to something. You're committing to a fucking liability. Don't get me wrong. I think I'm genuinely a good time. And I think if someone, I actually thought about this. If someone asked you like right now,

do you think you're a catch? Catch? No. But I am. I have a stable career. I have a good family and i have good values so are you calling yourself safe yes okay see my answer would be not yet and i'm pretty and i'm pretty you are a good looking guy i would i would on my answer would be not yet okay like i think i have the possibility to be but right now i didn't even fucking close

well i think i'm just i don't even know what i have fuck i need to keep drinking i'm like my toes are getting cold i'm actually fairly warm which is alarming because i'm the one that's had yeah dress warm i think it's i brought gloves i'm not wearing them by hand is in my pocket yeah my ankles are showing um yeah your white ass ankles yeah dude i need to i need to hit the sun i wish it were sunny out i hate that about the midwest oh my god it's so bad that's why i always want to move like i'm fine with the seasons like keep it cold um but the number one thing that i've always like that's why i thought like denver would be a cool place to live yeah and it came from like one conversation i had with connor and he said the

biggest difference between here and wisconsin he goes between november and march the sun shines we're here it's fucking gray. I'm like, yeah. And that's why seasonal depression is a legit thing. Yeah, absolutely. If it was cold, but it was sunny, and you're like, oh, the day is happy kind of thing. But when you wake up and it's cloudy, you're like, oh, fuck. No one. The day doesn't even want to be awake.

I think the car closed on itself. Do you want to close the door? Oh. Do you want to be awake. I think the car closed on itself. Do you want to close the door? Oh. Do you want to be on the show real quick? Sure. What would you like to say? Hey. Is he the one that does tattoos?

No. He's the one that has all the tattoos. He's in Miami. Your other brother doesn't have any, but he gives them? Yeah, he doesn't have any, but he— What the hell? It's like a bald guy giving haircuts. That's a good analogy.

It's funny. It's like my mom will leave and get drinks with his friends. They'll take the quesadillas, and that's like a 24-pack. I'm like, what'd you do? He's like, I shared. I'm like, dude you do and like i shared i'm like dude you pounded all those i know you did we have to lie up by mom i'm sorry but like he drinks all of them majority of them confession the rest are in his car now let's talk about that dirty bathroom bathroom's not dirty jesus. You want to see a dirty bathroom? Go to any college guy's bathroom that doesn't live in an apartment complex. That bathroom upstairs is probably cleaner than most college house kitchens or living rooms.

Cleaner than most kids' bathrooms in general. I get it. Also, how do showers get dirty? The only thing that goes through there is soap and water. It's soap scum. The soap dries up and it looks dirty. It's not dirty. It's just dried cleaning material.

This was an actual shower thought I had the other day. Do you ever, like, look up and notice that hairs that have fallen out of your head while you're shampooing have, like, stuck to the ceiling? They're, like, on the ceiling? Yeah. How do they float up and stick to the ceiling? And then who knows? I want to see that happen in real time. Like the actual, like, yeah, I don't know.

Someone videotaped that. Slow it down for me. No, what's more alarming to me is, all right, put yourself in my shoes. You haven't had sex in, you know, eons. And, you know, guys tend to put their hands down their pants. Sure. Put yourself in my shoes. You haven't had sex in eons. Guys tend to put their hands down their pants. Sure.

That's kind of what they do. Yeah. And randomly, you pull out a very long hair. Have you ever done that? No. No? Am I the only one? This is weird.

All my pubes are on my arm. Okay, fine. Yeah, you don't have any pubes. But I'll randomly just pull out a hair that's like... Okay, okay. No, I do't have any pubes. But, like, I'll randomly just pull out a hair that's, like... Okay, okay. No, I do know exactly what you're talking about. You just pull out a hair that's, like... It's not necessarily a pube, but... You're like, all right, no one was down there.

Where did this come from? Where the... Also, like, it's not even my color. Like, this isn't just, like, a random... Like, hey, this is a red hair. Or blonde. I'm like, where the... Like, was I just growing... You should growing 18-inch hair out of my asshole?

You should get it DNA tested. It's like some guy. It's some dude's hair. It's like, you met this guy? I'm like, I don't want to know. This might be the longest this car has ever lasted for me. Yeah, that's good. I normally suck them down really fast i was worried drinking today and knowing all right i'm going and i'm

gonna have beers and i'm going to i'm gonna have one more probably um and then a cigar i'm like i'm gonna be absolutely dunzo by the time i head back out i can't believe you're going out i have to drive home yeah all right you've had a beer a bang and a cigar yeah i'm saving most of the bang for the drive then i'll say if you want another one you can take the other one we have waters and everything i have most i'll take a water if you want a bud light for the road light for the road this is gonna be fun i can't wait we'll have you back on when we have the cameras. We can wrap this up. Um,

all right. This was fun. It was a good, I genuinely do appreciate like from bottom of my heart. Thank you. It's fun for me. I get to see you. Um,

yeah, we don't get to see each other. The first time in months, months. Yeah. Since it's been a year, actually actually like we saw each other last january yeah it was last january maybe when you guys came down i didn't even have my dog yet yeah that's sad and um no it's nice and, I do appreciate anyone that does come on friend wise that there is no benefit

to you guys doing this whatsoever. Well, it's a good time. It's a good time, but like, there is no benefit. There's like test out my podcast. When you're done with this, like you don't gain anything from this. Right. So unless you get super famous and then I can brag to people like, Hey, I was on this guy.

Like, Hey, I was on it. Can you pay me for my episode? Like you could all eat my ass. I just, I just get, I just request like a hundred dollars a month check whenever you get millions. No,

I have a, uh, I legit have, I don't know if I said it on here. I legit have a, uh, a list on my phone of people. If things ever do work out for me that I will reciprocate handsomely.

And you are on the list. Hell yeah. I think it's a list of 12 people right now. Aw. Maybe. Maybe. Well, that's an honor. Yeah, no, it's just like people who like, you you know do things that doesn't help them at all

but yeah for you guys this is i hope fun oh it's a blast it was nice you you did well because a lot of people like the mic it's in front of them and they're like i gotta perform like i gotta do all this for the past two weeks ever since you mentioned me coming here i was like i think i can do, but I'm terrified if I don't. Like, I'm just going to freeze up and it's going to be awful. And because he's not even going to put it online. It helps that I don't shut up and it's easy for me to just keep talking for us. But yeah, it's really not that hard.

Once you get the first one out of the way, the first couple, I felt like I was performing, but talking to Braxton. Yeah. The first couple, I felt like I was performing, but talking to Braxton. Yeah. I mean, as long as you have it in your head, like other people are going to hear this, but you're also having a conversation back and forth. It's just, you just balance it out. I so genuinely think we talked about nothing. Yep.

Fucking nothing. This is just two guys catching up in a fucking cold ass garage. I'm pretty content. Yeah, it's not bad. I need better shoes. I need socks. socks we didn't i don't know are you doing the candy theme for this podcast too or was that a tending thing um i don't know i just kind of have it now i kind of got yelled at by my mother who also got half the candy for us she goes you know as much as i like the theme i really don't want to hear you guys eat tootsie rolls for for two hours. I was really looking

forward to that. It gets real. Your diabetic ass can have... I'm going to have a Warhead just so I can click it around my teeth into the microphone. Do you want to do... For the sake of attending a list, do you want me to look up a riddle and you want to do Warheads and Riddles?

Sure. We'll end it on a riddle for everyone else. Blue Raspberry. Also, I really wanted to open the show before you started it so abruptly with welcome to the adventures of mike and michael because we have the same name yeah do you have any final parting thoughts uh no just reiterate what you said it It's good to catch up. And what I said before, I am really inspired by what you're doing and chasing your dreams. And you

caused me to think doing this. Now you're going to do your own it, uh, knowing that I will do all the work for you. I don't want you to do all the work, but it's like, I enjoy doing it support. So I think that helps um also to know that as long as someone else is in the room i can hold the conversation on air so yeah i don't think wouldn't you so that's the thing you need to think about like do you want to do a solo one or do you want to do something i don't think i could do a solo one that's so tough i would just get like stuck on a thought and be like well but okay i joked about i think with uh jack milkey was the last one i had on before i found out braxton was done and we're talking like i couldn't do like

the crystalia who you know rest in peace to his career for touching small children um yeah don't do that um but he he does like a solo one and we were joking like i could never do that and then the next week he goes yeah i'm done i'm like well i'm solo now like i am doing a model like i literally thought i was gonna like just show up like when he was done i thought before i went to minnesota i'm gonna have to set this up in my garage and just monologue for 20 minutes and be like why i'm done so i would if i were to do like monologues the whole time, I would have to write something out. Yeah.

You definitely have to write it. Cause I, like, I'm confident in my writing ability. Instead of just like going. Yeah. I can't go off the cuff. And you should keep writing. I liked when you would send me things. I laughed at some of them.

Like your first one you did on a topic that we will never bring up. Saw that dog the other day. Ever. Ever. never bring up saw that dog the other day ever ever um even though i think you just mentioned it um yeah was i mean it was good it was funny yeah um yeah no i hope you do one i uh so for also for you this and we're just gonna to keep going here. But this podcast, like I started journaling like two or three, four times a week. And I feel like for you, this is just like a digital recording of a journal. And you get it. It's a good outlet. I've always shared with your friends and the world, I guess.

I have a lot of like I have a big inner monologue and I have a lot of thoughts that I usually quiet. I can just kind of keep to myself when people like argue and like i have my opinion about i'm like me saying anything is not going to help the situation in the moment but this is a good outlet for me like i i will never forget this too is there was a day in high school i and she won't remember this um but i told my best friends cody and i said one day i'm going to explode and it's not going to be good. And I feel like this is me just like letting the air out of the balloon. It's like when instead of popping, like this is like a healthier way of just like pressure cooker and the food is done and you just really like I'm taking time bombs.

Well, I hope they don't explode. And I'm looking actually because I want to get to the point where I don't give. I mean, I don't care a lot, but I started attacking people like, Hey man, I don't like what you did. You look like an idiot. And let me tell you why I think you're an idiot.

And I think a lot of people would respect that and agree with you. Also things can be other people would probably not, not everyone's going to like you. Right. And that's a hard thing to wrap your head around. It's like, I want everyone to listen to this. Not everyone's going to like you. Right. And that's a hard thing to wrap your head around. It's like, I want everyone to listen to this. Not everyone's going to listen to it. To be honest, you could have a million followers on anything.

That is such a small amount of the population. And half the people follow you just to troll you. Exactly. They're like, oh, what can I yell at him for today? This dumbass thought. All right. We've been wrapping up for like 10 minutes. So give me a riddle. And I'll start. Can I have a warhead? I got to do it. Oh, all right. We've been wrapping up for like ten minutes. So give me a riddle and oh, yeah

Can I have a warhead I gotta do it. Oh, yeah Don't give lemon if there's a lemon give me the lemon Is there actually because it kind of tastes like a lemon drop afterwards this we haven't done this in forever I got blue raspberry Braxton this is for you buddy thank you for helping me start Braxton I never met you but I listened to your show and

I would like to meet you someday we decided to do this when Steven was actually tattooing him hell yeah yeah okay when do we eat it

right now okay this is a super dumb I'll ask you got it I'll ask it and then I'll put it in I'm gonna clack for a little bit

really dumb one. What has to be broken before you can use it? Smelling salts. There's so many answers to this. That's a good answer. That's not the answer to this one, though. A glow stick. That's what I thought.

Alright, I just nailed two answers. Tell me the real one. It's an egg. All right. I just nailed two answers. Tell me the real one. It's an egg. This sucks. This hurts. I still have my tongues burned from the coffee. Mine is sweet already. Really?

Mine's not. Okay. You want to do another one? Yeah. I'm going to keep clacking. I Googled. This tastes like no one eat throat. And there's an acid in the back of your throat?

Yeah, but it's on the tip of my tongue. Oh, I'm tall when I'm young. I'm short when I'm old. What am I? Tall when I'm young. Short when I'm old. That could basically just be anyone who just like regresses and starts hunching over. Benjamin Button.

Oh, it's a candle, you dumbass. Well, candles don't age. They just burn. You get what I'm saying. Yeah, I get it. By the way, when you Google riddles for adults, and these are the first two, I'm pretty fucking upset. That's okay.

I got to do it, so I'm happy. Yeah, we'll end it there. All right. Thank you again. Yeah, thanks for having me. It was a good time. We were probably over two hours. Damn.

Episode two. I finally get to post something. It's been a while since the first one. And I'll have you back on with the cameras. And we're going to do it with Corey. I want one with you and me. We're going gonna do a san francisco trip one which is gonna be fucking fun hunter hunter needs to be facetime uh hunter

no for an appearance oh you want him to come all right no we're going to san francisco this is a traveling fucking podcast if you want to be on here i will fly to you just pay for my flight and i will be there all right thanks kuski yeah thank you buddy