Fat Chance Podcast - Ep.20 - Corey Gilbertson, Dan Wild, Jacob Schmidt

Episode Date: July 14, 2021

Two Drunks, a New Dad and a Military Officer walk into a bar...

I don't know how this works. I know I'm kind of nervous. I don't know if I remember how to do this. Let me just taste it quick. You have to be in that mic. You're in that one. That's your... Oh, fuck. You have to go like close. Oh, Jesus Christ. All right. Hold on. I need to add mine. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. All right. Hold on. I need to add mine. Is that my hand? Jesus Christ. Shut the fuck up. This might be one of the douchiest starts I've had to one of these things. I've seen her titties.

I've seen her... That was not on camera, was it? Or on mic? No. Oh, yeah. Oh, we're going? Oh, you turned it on. Classic country movie. All right, be prepared.

Yeah, fuck it. Fuck it. Welcome back, boys. All right. Corey almost soaked the microphone. Sidekicks back there. Go down, boy. Damn. I don't know how to start.

I think you started by dumping half of it up. Yeah. All right. It's of it up. Yeah. All right. Oh, boy. Tummies are rumbling. I'm drunk as shit. All right.

I need to make sure everyone's in camera. Corey, I see you. I see you. I see you. I see me. All right, how far away do I go? Do I go right here? Thank you.

Just talk into it. Damn, I did make a little mess. You spilled on me. Oops. You made a lot of mess. It's been a bit since I've done one of those. Corey, you made a drink? Yeah, it's a drink. You made a drink?

Yeah, it looks pretty good too. I don't know how we go from there. How do we start? Do you actually have a girlfriend, though? I do. Since when? That's what I spit up more. Rather than she's hot, I was like...

Honestly, that's probably the most surprising thing. Out of all of us, Schmidt has a girl... Well, obviously, Ellie. He has a kid. Out of all of us, Schmidt has a girlfriend. That's the last thing I figured. It's about a month and a little over a month right now. But you've met her.

She was down in Nashville. Oh, yeah, we were down in Nashville with you. You know what she looks like, right? She was the redhead with us. I don't even know her name. Oh, Phoebe. She was the redhead we were with when we were in Nashville. When were we in Nashville?

Dude, you don't remember? When you were in Nashville. You got we in Nashville? Dude, you don't remember? When you were... You got to help me out. What time? This one is like last February. You had that four-story condo. Oh, yeah. That time.

I mean, we met up with you. They weren't dating at the time, obviously. But we met up with you guys like both nights. Yeah. Funny enough, that was the first time I met her. Was coming back from your condo, just absolutely blacked out. Well, you're welcome for that.

Pretty much you guys being together right now is all because of Kuski. Yeah, I guess kind of. I went on that trip last fucking minute. I think I was in Jamaica. I missed that one. You were in Jamaica? I was in Jamaica. Oh, shit.

Funny enough, we were just down there for my sister's 21st, and my parents got that same Airbnb. And it's a very nice Airbnb when there isn't 12 college students just blacked out. Turning it up. Messing it up. Yep. Dude, that place was a fucking mess when we got there. How many people did that?

We had like over 20, I think. It was a lot of people. But it was a lot of fun. And it actually was a lot of people that I didn't really know. Well, I kind of knew them. They're just like, I've seen you before. Acquaintances. I wouldn't even call them acquaintances.

Like, I've seen you walk into class. And I know you're friends of friends. Is that what an acquaintance is? I feel like you have to have a relationship. Basically, 85% of the people I met work in a bar. Hey, I know you. Free shot.

Hey, I know you. Free shot. Then you, me, and Mike have like 4,000 acquaintances. We do. We really do. It's disgusting. Are we considered an acquaintance if we give you a free drink? Because then we have like 4,000 acquaintances Yeah, it's disgusting about are we considering acquaintance if we give you a free drink cuz then we're like 40,000 Yeah, they're they're my best friend Yeah, best friend. I was talking to some of my buddies in the army and they were talking about how like they Don't like going out because they spend so much at the bars And I was bringing up how you you and Cory were working at w and we'd also go to w and

get free drinks honestly you probably saved thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars i think that was almost better than any scholarship i could have gotten no it was you guys all got the w scholarship well you'd go up i was telling him it's like super hard to not get fucked up every night because you'd go out and you'd go and buy like eight Vegas bombs for eight guys, right? And then like five minutes later, you'd be like, you know what, let's do another one because they're free. Exactly. And you go up and just buy eight more Vegas shots and then you just keep going. I hated when you guys just handed me cups of Rumpelmints and I would just sip on Rumpelmints.

You were one of those guys where it was fun to just go dance, monkey dance. Yeah, unfortunately. The eyes roll back and they had a bit right maybe we tone it down just a little bit one of these cups of rumple is going to be water is this just going to be a drink talking about drinking the whole time this podcast it might we could talk about life do you want to talk about like no i don't mind talking about drinking i'm just we could talk about war politics religion i talked about reincarnation last episode yeah reincarnation yeah i sponsored a college athlete last episode and talked about whatation last episode. Reincarnation? Yeah. I sponsored a college

athlete last episode and talked about what he wanted to be when he died. What does he want to be? A house cat. No. Actually, that's a pretty solid life, though. I mean... I'd rather be a dog. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. He's only had cats. I've only had cats. I'm like,

house cat, not bad. I mean, I would have picked, like, I don't know, a tiger. I don't know. tiger. Don't you want to go outside every now and then? Well, maybe you have good owners and they let you outside. Indoor, outdoor house cat? I'd want to be a bear. I like bears, but I like eagles. You sleep a lot and everyone stays the fuck away from you. That's true.

I'm good with that. You already are a bear no we came up with the uh when i was clipping videos from that episode came up with the cat theory i said what it went reincarnation like what if there's just a set number of souls and you just keep recycling but you get nine like we say cats have nine lives what if the ninth life is being a cat? That's why they're grumpy. That's the dumbest thing I've ever said. I just think cats are just demons

walking on the earth. They suck. I don't like cats. I love them. I got two up there. If any of you walked upstairs to go pet those cats, they'd fucking kill you, though. As I said, they're demons. My mom rescued them. They were abused. They're hesitant. They only like mom rescued them. They were abused. So they're hesitant. They only like my mom and my littlest brother.

The only good cats that are good are ones that act like dogs. Can you do me a favor and the display screen, just flip it towards me, because it's really stressing me out that it's off. What's going on with that one? Nothing. I have every episode there's some technical difficulty because I'm absolutely dumb. Hey, don't say that about yourself. I could use a different word.

You know what? I give you a lot of props for what you're doing. You know? Now we're getting sentimental. I do. This? Yeah. You refused to get into the 9 to 5, and I think that's very cherishable of you.

Yeah, but if we boil this down, like, you take the cameras away, this is just Friday. Yeah. This is easy for us. I know, this is fun. Is this the most people you've had on a podcast before? No.

Well, I only have four mics. The first episode of this show, I was in Minnesota, and it was me, Shelley, Hartwell, Weintraub, Sammy Reamer. Oh, yeah, yeah. You guys' New Year's escapade? Yeah. I didn't watch that one. So it's not on video. Mics is the last one that's just audio. And then the cameras finally came. And since then, actually, Heilman's might be the last one without video because I tried recording one with him. It was so cold, so I couldn't do it in the garage.

So I just went to his apartment and I'm not good with lighting. So the start of the podcast, it's me and Heilman. It looks like we're in the same room. By the end of the podcast, you cut to me. I'm in the same room. Heilman's like in a closet. It's so fucking dark.. It looks like we're in the same room. By the end of the podcast, you cut to me. I'm in the same room. Heilman's like in a closet. It's so fucking dark. I'm like, eh.

So I have two episodes technically that Heilman's is released, but just audio. And then I have one with two girls where they talked about how they think the earth is flat. Oh, man. They're actually real flat earthers. I wouldn't say they're real flat earthers but they have entertained the idea and they argued it for me and uh i had camera malfunctions on that one so it just cuts from me to the whole group me to the whole group instead of like cutting between all of you so i'm like well i look really narcissistic right now so that one's just

kind of on my computer it looks bad. Not publishing it. Maybe one day. Maybe I make a Patreon, make you guys pay for some extra episodes. Like the first ones I did in Miami. I'm not going to pay for shit. First ones I did in Miami. How much is the military paying you? Yeah.

How much is the military paying you? I don't know. Who'd you vote for? You got better benefits than all of us. Your kids are going to college already. I'm a beast. I'm a beast. That mustache is a beast. You trimmed it up, dude.

That was gnarly. Do you guys like it? Yeah. Does it look good? Am I rocking it? It's good. Yeah. That's real.

You look straight up, though. You look fucking good. You really do. You can pull it off. It's a good lip sweater. I appreciate it. You can pull it off. It's a good lip sweater. I appreciate it. You do? Thank you.

It took a lot of discipline, man. There's been multiple times where I've wanted to shave it. You know what? I'm just going to. I was talking all around. I like how you're still on the mustache, but yeah. Oh, thanks. Yeah.

Well, dude, I was on that army starvation diet for a while. I went into basic, like. Yeah. Well, dude, I was on that army starvation diet for a while. I went into basic, like 210 pounds. And between the basic and officer candidate school, I dropped like 30 pounds. Like I was like 180 when I came home for the holidays. So was it 2020? Yeah. You sent me snaps or I saw it on your, no, you sent me one and you had a buzz cut. Or I did not recognize you. I'm like, I thought you took a picture of someone else. I'm like... No, you sent me one and you had a buzz cut. Or I did not recognize

you. I'm like, I thought you took a picture of someone else. I'm like, why are you sending me this? Yeah. No, dude, you looked... I started looking a lot different. You're clean shaven, buzz cut. I'm like, you... I think you look skinnier than me. I think it was so skinny. Dude, I was 180. Last time I was 180 was like in middle school. I've never

been 180. And I was fat in middle school. And I was fat in middle school too, though. So, like, it was like a fat 180. I was just skinny as shit, so. I think the heaviest I've ever been is like 170. And that was bad. Dude, we almost weighed the same at one point in time. Yeah.

10 pounds apart. Like four years apart, though. Huh? From time periods, yeah. Yeah, but still. 170, 180? 10 pounds apart. What would be scarier?

Me weighing Dan's weight or Dan weighing my weight? And a defensive end. That wasn't a good mix. No. I got double teamed a lot. I got pancaked. You got double teamed, huh? Yeah, I did.

Yeah. How was it? Still got rookie of the year, though. Defensive player rookie of the year. What are we talking about now? I was a Buckeye. Where are we going? Buckeye in high school.

For high school? Buckeye in high school. Oh, okay. But I was just saying, like, Where are we going? Buck-80 in high school. For high school? Buck-80 in high school. Oh, okay. But I was just saying, like, for a defensive end, that's pretty small. Yeah. In reality. It's like Sam Pelzo. Yeah.

We had linemen on our team that weighed less than me. Yeah. And they were trying to block my ass. Yeah. Didn't go well. My funniest memory is Schmidt. We were playing a Schwab-anon in high school, and he was just getting wrecked. Nobody was blocking for him, and this guy just pile drives him.

And we go back to the huddle. Knocked the air out of me, like all up, picked me up, and drove me into the huddle. And Schmidt's, we get to the huddle, and Schmidt's crying. He has this little play card on his wrist, and he goes, Danny, you got to read this play play for me I can't see it And he's like what is this play And he was pointing to a blank space Just a white space on his card

I'm like Schmidt you're pointing to a blank space right now And he goes Okay well what about this one And I'm like dude you're still pointing He changed his hand position You're still pointing to a blank space And he's like Schmidt you're still just pointing at nothing his hand position. You're still pointing to a blank space. You're pointing at your thumb, man. I'm like, Schmidt, you're still just pointing at nothing.

He goes, okay, fuck it. He just called this random play, and he just got laid out the next play once again because nobody knew what they were doing. That pretty much sums up our whole college football experience. That was frustrating. First and only time I cried in a game, though. First time you cried in a game? I never cried in a game. though. I don't know. There's something you cried in a game? I never cried in a game. I've had, like, I had youth kids crying games.

You know the kid in every, like, youth team that just, he gets hit once. He's like. That wasn't you? Well, my, no, it wasn't me. My dad was the coach. I wasn't allowed to. It was a kid. He cried every practice.

And he came back. We were scrimmaging, like inner squad scrimmage. He came back to the huddle, and he's crying. And my dad tells me, he goes, I turned around, heard him crying. I'm like, what the fuck now? And he just holds up his wrist, and his wrist was not here but down here. And my dad goes, oh, shit, yeah, you could cry. And my dad just pushes it back into place.

Holy fuck. It was like eight. Wait, so it was just like snapped in the forearm or what? The way my dad describes it is, this is why I hate him and the fucking microphone, is the wrist went from like the bones here or like here. Like it just slipped or something like that. And my dad just readjusted it.

I don't even know how to imagine that. I don't know how it happened, but just took his hand, put it down. Kid was in a cast for three weeks. I don't think the kid was any happier. He goes, I don't have to how to imagine that. I don't know how it happened, but just took his hand, put it down. Kid was in a cast for three weeks. I don't think the kid was any happier. He goes, I don't have to go to practice anymore. He didn't have to play. That's true. And that's a kid that would cry for any small thing.

Anything. We're like, oh, it's fucking this kid. Boy, I cried wolf. Yeah, right. Seriously. It was one of those kids, like, when the parents draft teams. So, like, it's youth sports, and if 300 kids come out and you just play each other, the coaches kind of draft teams and, like, all right, here are clearly the 10 best kids.

That kid's already at the bottom. Like, no one – that's Mr. Irrelevant, that kid. It's just crazy how, like, injuries like that happen, though. I mean, like, I played sports my whole life, and then in college we were playing. Did I meet you guys before I tore my ACL? In meniscus, in MCL, in LCL, in pretty much every fucking ligament in my knee? I remember you being in a brace for some reason. Did I meet you guys during that?

You guys didn't like me when you first met me. I did. Well, I didn't like them. I didn't know them. Somebody showed me a picture of them. It's very fair. I don't think many people didn't like him I didn't know him but somebody showed me a picture of him it's very fair I don't think many people

like me when they first meet me it was a picture of him Connor and uh who else was it was it Ben Reier Heilman

Gagan Connor Alex Pape Sam Zimmerman and you guys had like the write it you guys were like on a beach

and you guys had like writing on you people had like drew on us yeah and somebody showed me a picture of it. I'm like, damn.

Oh, I would have hated me too. They look kind of douchey. Fucking frat boys. Fucking frat. And then it was Hunter who scrolled through your guys' pictures. He goes, that's fucking cusky. Good house. Heilman.

And you're like, oh shit. Yeah. I felt bad. Yeah. It must have been on Ryer's Instagram or something. Yeah. Definitely on Ryer's. Because you guys went to school with him.

Yeah. He went to our high school. We. Yeah, definitely on Ryers. You guys went to school with him. Yeah, he went to our high school. We need to get Hunter on here once. Dude, he's never going to come. Hey, Hunter. No, I would go to

him for sure. I've talked to him once about flying out there, not specifically to do this, but just to go again. He wants people to come back when they

finish that house or whatever. You're his own. His girlfriend's from The house is done now? The house is done now Hunter huh? Where's the text? She lives in Nashville Did he text you already? To come?

Oh I forgot you guys are dating I legit thought you two were gay when I met you I feel like that's what a lot of people say I legit thought you two were gay when I met you. I feel like that's what a lot of people say. He was my only friend. Legit, like, this isn't even like... Your only friend. Oh, okay. This isn't even a joke.

I straight up thought you two were... What did you guys think of me when you first met me? I thought you were a badass. I thought you were like 32 years old. Everyone thinks I'm old. I also thought you were 30. I think the first time I met you was in the. I thought you were like 32 years old. Everyone thinks I'm old. I also thought you were 30. I think the first time I met you was in the gym. Gym, yeah.

Nick Griesmeier. Yeah, that's the first time I met you too. I was like, damn, he's jacked. Why is he like 30 years old working out at the serve and managing the W? I thought you were like the manager. I specifically remember meeting you at the serve. You were like the one kid who only – the only kid who used a squat rack in the middle of the serve too.

All the time. All you did was that squat rack. Oh, that one right by the bench press. Yep. That gym sucked. That gym was awful. They redid it though. So you were there every time I went.

Like when I finally got back into lifting the first time, you were there all the time. I'm like, oh. And I just recognized you. I'm like, 26-year-old grad student. And then I would, like, walk back to, this was our sophomore year. Yep. And I would walk back to our fraternity house, and I would see you walking. Like, he's walking past where everyone else normally lives.

Definitely a grad student. And then I started at the W. I saw you. I'm like, how old are you? 20? 19. Then we lived together. Everyone's intimidated by me. Not anymore.

When did you guys live together? Our super semester. I moved myself in into his place he slept this summer going into our extra semester so our senior summer his apartment didn't have uh air conditioning so fucking hot so he straight up just we put a mattress there once in our kitchen we put a mattress in our kitchen he just just slept there. I remember that mattress. We didn't even move it. We came for an A-bar one time and there's just people

passed out on the mattress. And then everyone else is partying. You're on my bed. People would come in like, hey, why do you have a mattress? Oh, Corey sleeps here. We picked him up off the street with a stray dog. You can sleep here. I mean, it was better than your apartment

your apartment was about as warm as it is in here now i feel like we worked a lot of shifts together so it just made sense like i think i i only saw that apartment once it was i remember i got done i got done at a shift at the kk yeah yeah and i called you and i was like i was locked out of my you know who locked you out or something? Tomei locked me out. Oh, Tomei. Tomei, Tomei, Tomei. She likes these posts every once in a while. Howdy, Tomei.

I don't think she ever listens. She just sees it and she probably likes it. She's like, fuck it. I'll support his dream. I was locked out and I was trying to call a bunch of people. I'm proud of you. I'm going to be sleeping on the street tonight. I'm like, dude, I'm going to be sleeping on the street. I'm going to be sleeping on the street tonight. And then finally I'm like, I wonder if Corey's working.

I called Corey. Corey's like, hey man, I'm just about to go to bed. I'm like, hey, I need a place to sleep. I walked over to his place and just crashed on his couch for the night. Yeah, we cuddled. It was Big Spoon. I think they both were Little Spoon. We switched off.

We're both big guys so sometimes it's just like however whatever we feel most comfortable. Whatever man. Just kind of

casually roll over and like switch. It was hot in there. Cloth couch. You're probably both naked. It's so fucking disgusting. Jenny to Jenny. What the fuck does that mean?

Genitals to genitals. Oh. I've never heard Jenny's as a reference to his genitals. I understood, but I've never heard that before. Jenny to Jenny. I just,

yeah, whatever. Whatever. You know, I asked Tomei to do this once and she had a full-blown panic attack. Like, I had everything in my car and was heading there and she goes,

I can't fucking do it. I can't fucking do it. She begged me. She's like, I might pay you. I can't do this. Cause she's going to pay you. Cause I can't do this.

I'm like, I need an episode. Fuck. And I was like, fuck it. I'm not begging you to do this shit anymore. Yeah. That was tough.

Haven't talked to her since. No, no, no, that's all right. She's dead to me. Who you've been hanging out with mostly around town? During the...

What are you guys talking to make another... Think of the pandemic. There's stuff back here. And then... Yeah, go for it. There's... I would grab... Let's put more of the seltzers in the ice so they're cold although

we do have just a bag of ice too no during the thick of the pandemic it was me and hylman like it got to the point where like 3 30 every friday my phone like you ever drive enough to like let's say to the hospital for you or and you get in your car at the right time they go oh it's 12 minutes to the hospital yeah yeah. Freaks you out kind of. So it would do that. 3.30 Fridays, it'd be like 21 minutes to this address. I'm like, stop telling me where I'm going already. It was Heilman.

Still hang out with Heilman a bunch. He's been gone this week. Otherwise, it's a lot of Greendale guys like Jack Ringelberg, his brother, Gane, stuff like that. If I forgot you, I apologize. Gane's in Nashville. Gane moved Tuesday, yeah. He's gone. To be honest.

You got a wasp by you, Kuski. I'm not saying a wasp. Sorry, it's the vaccine. It's a bee. Yeah, that Gane moving actually kind of hit me a bit. Like, that was real sad. Yeah. This is a hectic podcast.

Excuse me. Cut this part out. Cut this part out. It'll give you an excuse to go there, though. Yeah, I think I'm going at the end of the month. Nice. But, yeah, no, like, we golfed for his last day, which was this last weekend or this past Monday,

and we already did, like, a three-day bender just from Fourth of July weekend. I'm like, let's go golf. I'm like, fuck, we're drinking again. It was 90 degrees. I've never been more. I mean, I was so somber by the end of it because I just ended up, like, barefoot and shirtless. People were, like, giving him hugs, and it didn't hit at first, I'm like, oh, yeah, I'll see him.

And then I was driving home. I'm like, I can't text him this weekend just to be like, hey, we're downtown. Come meet us out. I was like, that kind of sucks. It's like when you moved to Miami and left us all, dude. Yeah, but I think we can all agree it was probably a good thing for me to go. Yeah. You wanted to get out. It was good. It was a good thing for me to go. Did you have that experience? Yeah. Yeah, it I think we can all agree it was probably a good thing for me to go. Yeah. You wanted to get out.

It was good. It was a good thing for me to go. Did you have that experience? Yeah, it was an experience. Let's put it that way. It was an experience. I mean, in hindsight, it was very good for me mentally. But overall fun, I mean, you could ask Sam.

He'd be like, there were a lot better places we could have lived. You guys weren't in Miami? They weren't in Miami. We weren't downtown. Oh, okay. They were like community 80 year old like the yeah like the average age was 70 and that's because we brought a snowbird snowbird area okay yeah i didn't even know there were those communities outside of miami we're we're like we're 40 minutes north of downtown miami parents live in florida well i know florida depending on traffic we were 40 minutes north of downtown Miami. My grandparents live in Florida. Well, I know of Florida. Depending on traffic, we were 40.

And then we were like 35, 40 south of Fort Lauderdale. Okay. So we could go either way. And Fort Lauderdale was more our scene and affordable. Yeah. We had one Miami night where we knew two girls down there. Or he did. I didn't.

I didn't at all. Is there where you got like an over the pants handy on the yacht you got you got that no but we like she would she brought us into like she knew all the promoters so like we just went in like club to club to so like it was really i was like holy shit like it must be real cool sometimes to be a girl. You can get in wherever you want. I mean, let's be honest. It's way cooler. Yeah, we can agree on that.

I think a lot of girls can agree on that too. What was it? Free drinks. Paris and Richie. She used to say they'd go to clubs in San Francisco, and she'd walk up to the bar first, and the guys would buy her a drink. So she'd take that one back to Richie, and she'd walk up to the bar first and the guys would buy her a drink. So she'd take that one back to Richie and she'd go back up and maybe buy her own or someone else would buy another one.

That's just like a norm. Guys buying girls drinks at the bar. Especially in San Francisco. Oh yeah. A lot of high ballers. Have you ever just like bought someone randomly? Like you didn't even talk to them. I've never bought a girl a drink.

Shut the fuck up. Shut up. San Francisco, yes you have. Don Julio! Because she wants Don Julio. I'm like, no, Corey, that's all she can fucking say is Don Julio. You know what it was, though? Richie kept going like, come on, you fucking pussies.

Go talk to some girls The place was loaded with Asians I'm not kidding you I was like It was like Asian night Which Hey you know what Whatever

But They were all He just felt like the minority I'm not kidding you It was full of Chinese people He found the one Latina It was like She she

And it was like It was like Chinatown night I'm not kidding you So then Then I'm like I'm like looking around I she. And it was like, it was like Chinatown. I'm not kidding you. So then, then I'm like, I'm like looking around, I'm like, fuck it,

you know, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna do it. So he shuts up. I point out the one Spanish girl and she's Spanish, like, and still does not speak a lick of English.

Like doesn't speak a lick of English. And he's like, she wants Don Julio shots. Like again, that's all she can say to communicate to you. Yeah. And she just like kept looking over us.

I was like, fuck it. I'm just going to go up to her. And then I walked up and I said, you want to get a shot? And she goes. So we go up to the bar. I'm sure you guys have heard the rest of the story. I get hammered. I remember we were in San Francisco visiting Hunter.

And we had this really nice Chinese guy as our Uber. And Hunter the whole time was just about to puke in the Uber on the way home. And finally I'm like, all right, we're like two blocks away from Hunter's place. And we're like, I'm like, all right, hey, you can just drop us off here. Because I knew Hunter was like just about to puke. And I didn't want him to puke in the Uber. And so he dropped us off. And as we're getting out, Corey turns to the driver

and he goes, she, she. And he goes, and the driver turns to me and goes, you speak Chinese? And I was just, he was like so excited about it. And I'm like, I just turned to Corey, like in front of the guy and he goes, yeah, a little bit. Corey goes, yeah, a little bit. I'm like, no you fucking don't.

Corey was practicing the entire car. When do I say she, she? He goes, don, a little bit. I'm like, no you fucking don't. Corey was practicing that the entire car. When do I say shishun? He goes, don't sound too racist. Don't sound too racist. But he got the guy so excited. The guy's like, you speak Chinese? Yeah, he was pumped.

My accent must have been great. And you were just like, you were just like. And Corey just plays along. He's like, yeah, a little bit. And I'm just like, dude, that's the only Chinese word you could possibly know. Do you know any others? It's probably better to say a little bit. No, I'm know any others? It's probably better to say a little bit. No, I'm out.

I'm out. Probably better to say a little bit than say no. I was making fun of you. Fuck it. He was just immersing himself in the culture. That's right. By saying what? Thank you?

Thank you. That's what it means. Yeah. Thank you. Is that what it means? You probably made the guy's night. He was very excited about that. I'll have to take note of that if I ever have a Chinese Uber.

Why have I never heard that before? You haven't heard that? No. Also, that was probably the most drunk I've ever seen Hunter in my life. Yeah, he's dude. He throws up so obnoxiously. He's violent. So obnoxiously.

It's like a Tarantino movie. There are loud people. You really need to force it out. But then, I mean, his even dry heaves are just... So loud. It's like Godzilla. His whole body is just like a wave.

He goes like... Or like a dog. Have you guys seen that picture of me and Schmidt puking in the same toilet together? That's one of my favorite pictures. That was the night that Hunter graduated, actually. shirtless,

sitting next to the toilet with the caption, we'll puke together, man. I was, dude, I was way more drunk than I should have been.

Probably the most drunk I've ever been in my life. Hey, it's okay. And yeah, it happens to the best of us. And all of a sudden, I'm just puking my guts out and all of a sudden,

I just feel a little tap on my shoulder and Schmidt's like, it's alright, man's all right, man. We'll puke together. And then we just ended up puking in the same toilet together. Awesome. Yeah, and I think the next photo in my camera roll is me asleep on the bathtub. In the Schmeagle picture?

No, it was on the bathtub ledge with my hand against the toilet paper holder. Have you seen the Schmeagle picture? The bathtub ledge. With my hand against the toilet paper holder. Have you seen the Schmeagle picture? That's not my problem at the moment. Can we show the Schmeagle picture? Just send it to me and I can clip it in. Yeah, you can just pop it up. I can just pop it up, yeah. Cut scene, Schmeagle picture.

I might have to blur some parts out. Yeah, I think there's a little ball action and there's a little ball action yeah saying saying hi between your legs just saying peekaboo but if anybody like shmeagle if anybody looked through my camera reel from like 2016 to 2019 it's just gonna be a bunch of naked pictures and videos of this guy. Yeah, I wasn't one that really had my camera out a lot in college. I never used my phone. Yeah, well, we had Hunter around.

Yeah. So it was just constant videos. The waxing videos. Oh, my God. That's hysterical. Yeah, that's gross. You let someone wax your asshole. And not professionally.

Not professionally. Just a bunch of drunk dudes. Very, very, very amicable. If I just move this out and we're like, let's do it now. At like 4 p.m. after a day of day drinking. 4 p.m.? It was then? I thought it was late afternoon.

No, no, it was early afternoon. Before we went out. Yeah, we went out. So you were prepping. You were getting ready for the night. People get it all the time. I just remember that video. Not by your roommates.

All right, spread the cheeks. Let's get one in there. On the coffee table. When girls get their pussy wax, they make them bend in a lot of weird spots. Actually, they put their head over their legs. Would you go with Ellie? She told me about it. Okay, I was going to say.

We're just taking pictures. I've got to show the guys this. What do they call it when it's a full wax? Brazilian wax, right? I think Brazilian. Yeah. Yeah. I should try one of those.

I thought Brazilian just meant the nether regions. Yeah, I think that is. Oh. I don't know. What would a full wax be, like head to toe? Brazilian. No, that's... Is there a European wax?

It's Brazilian. Is there a European wax, too? Maybe, yeah. Who knows? International. Did the Brazilians start that, though? Is that just like a... Is that a thing that they do?

Like, they were the first ones to wax their... Are we appropriating the Brazilians? No, I'm not appropriating the Brazilians. Why did they call it that? The first ones that waxed their pussy? Yeah. Part because they're always hot and they always wear bikinis. That's my guess.

That would be my guess as well. That seems like sound logic. I say we leave it at that. For sure. Let's not look farther into it. I mean, we have two people that could easily look it up back here, but let's not do it. Let's not do it. I think we have young Jamies over here.

Yeah. Jamie, Jamie, can you pull that up for us? No, we have high Jamie and old fucking Jamie over here. Mike is 45 and a 20, what are you, 30? 26. 26-year-old's body. Grandma Mike is what we call him. Yeah, Grandma Mike.

We did. He'd be going to bed by 8 p.m. on a Friday night. Do you remember? Mike, do you have a girlfriend right now? Okay. No. Do you remember when he was dating Abby? Yeah.

Yeah, I do. On his birthday or after, I swear to God, and it had nothing to do with her. I think it was actually after you guys broke up. I swear to God, I would have no problem settling down, getting married, and having kids right now. I'm like, you're 20 fucking too. I mean, you've spoken into existence for Corey. But like. Life comes at you fast.

But, I mean, that one. Because you're, what, two years older than me? Almost? No. One? One. But I looked. I was like, no no I just turned 21

at the time. I was like holy shit you're ready to get married? I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow. That's Mike for you. Alright Mike.

Yup. I'm looking up your Brazilian wax. Well what is it? Thanks. This is getting real strong at the bottom.

Yeah. I'm gonna need another here soon. Ginger beer. See you at the bottom. I. I'm going to need another here soon. See you at the bottom. See you at the bottom. I would ice out, bro. I need another one, actually.

This is the best ginger beer. Corey, when you get back, I think people would like to know. Can we talk about your child? Sure. I'd love to. Sure. I have yet to meet him. Stories. Huh?

I have yet to meet him. In the Western world, officially, this style is named because of the skimpy dental floss-like bikinis worn on Brazilian beaches. So you were very, very correct. So it's genital. It's genital. It's genital. Yeah, it's genital waxing. And it's because Brazilians wear dental floss-like.

So he was kind of right with the swimsuit thing. I was right with the genitals. We know nothing about it, so I'm sure you'll have a lot of girls messaging or commenting on it. Like, hey, you know what Brazilian wax is? This. They know what it is. We don't. Take a stab.

How many girls listen to this? I'd say five, six. I don't know specifically. Oh, sorry. Percentage-wise. Oh, percentage-wise, I'd say like 5%, maybe. It's actually 20. Really?

Wow. I think. Last time I checked can I can check again Okay, there's some There's some there's some blondes over there lines Oh lines. I said blondes. I'm like those are children over there It's like I mean this is the worst part about having... I don't feel like I see something. What are you looking at?

Myself in the camera. I'm so far away than normal. What are you giggling at over there? He took a Snapchat or something. Oh. I think he's looking up waxes. I'm still Googling waxes. Oh, okay.

Here's another. And one of the frequently asked questions on Google is, does a Brazilian wax include bum crack? Well, does it? Yeah, yeah. It says, either way, both variations of the Brazilian wax make their way to, make their way from the front to the back. So, yes, the butt strip is part of the regular service.

So it's pretty much just all in the nether regions. It says everywhere. If you need to grease up that turd cutter, go get a Brazilian. Love that you just said that. I know. Because you're here. That's a Corey statement right there. Fuck yeah.

I love that. That's funny. It's funny. It's childish as fuck. Actually, it's 26%. And I just found out I have 1% of my audience is not specified. Okay. I don't know who you are.

Good for them. I'm all about everybody just living the way they want to live. What's the total number? If you don't bother me, I won't bother you. How many listeners? It should be. Oh, underneath. I'm not really familiar.

I don't know specifically. My phone isn't as deep into it as my computer is. Guys who identify as women wanting to go into a woman's bathroom. Yeah. Here we go. No, we don't have to go anywhere about it, but I don't feel comfortable. If I have a daughter, and she's in the bathroom, and she's like four years old, and some dude is in there whipping his dick around,

because I'm a woman, it's not okay with me. Whatever. I respect that. Yeah, you fucking heard me. Hey, you guys whipping your dicks around in the women's bathroom. None of that anymore, okay? Yeah, we're like a locker room. Anyways, cheers.

Cheers. What other deep shit do you want to get in? We can just call this four white guys in a garage and see how quickly we get canceled. So would you guys, something I'm I'm you know what now that we're talking about more in depth you want to go real quick what's your religious beliefs

are you vaccinated politics who'd you vote for? I was going to talk about the stuff that that the government is releasing about UFOs.

Okay. Give me some specifics. Have you guys seen any of those videos? I haven't seen any UFOs. What do you guys think about it? I think there's definitely other life. Are you kidding me?

I've been looking into it a little bit. Everyone's like, the video's so shitty, it's so pixelated. It's fake. But then someone made a great point. It's astonishing and incredible that we're even getting anything like that on camera as it is. Yeah.

Yeah. So the camera is going to be like the footage quality is gonna be a little shitty. If you ask me, it's from like a Naval ship. So this shit's happening probably miles away from them. It's not like you're equipped. It's not like you're going to have like this camera all the time,

like being like on you, being able to like record shit. And who is it? The Lieutenant Fravor guy? Dan Fravor, I think. Is it Dan? Lieutenant Dan Fravor? Fravor.

Something like that. He has footage of UFOs. We're getting real rogan-y right now. Yeah. I don't know. Dude, I just thought it was interesting how they released all that stuff when the pandemic was going on. That's when it first came out, right? Yeah. I just thought it was interesting how they released all that stuff when the pandemic was going on. That's when it first came out, right?

Yeah. And they released all that stuff. Dude, that's how you knew COVID got way too political. We could be like, hey, the aliens are here. And they're like, fuck off. Nobody cared at all. Who'd you touch? Who are you hanging out with? I mean, the little green man standing next to me goes, who is he near?

Yeah. Nobody paid any attention to it. High to the pandemic, they released these videos and they're like oh hey by the way the government released these videos at some point yeah well i know but they released these videos and they're like hey by the way we don't know what these are we call them uaps uh we can't really explain them and that was like from the government nobody cared nobody cared about it at all. They're just like, oh, pandemic, pandemic, pandemic, which is fine. It was a big part of, it's a big event during our lifetimes. But like nobody paid attention to it at all. And like they just keep releasing more and more videos about it.

And it's just like. I mean, it's the right time. I mean, if you're, I can see it being the right time to do it. It's like if we're going to release some like hectic shit, might as well do it while everyone's fucking hating on each other Artie has something else Taking up the space in their mind We're so concerned about what our neighbors are doing

That our legit neighbors who showed up No one gives a fuck about Yeah It's crazy though If that is actually like If there are other life forms that have visited We're like nah I'm worried about what Dustin did on the weekend and whether or not he can be around my fucking grandma.

Dustin went to a bar unmasked and, yeah. Dude, how about the mask rule here, at least in Milwaukee, was so fucking dumb towards, like, the end. It's like, you need it on when you walk in. When you get to your table take it off okay or when you're at the bar take it basically when you get in take it off but if you go to the bathroom make sure you have that shit on or you're getting kicked out yeah that's fucked up we're like we're talking about this the other day for like the nba right so they're on the court and their guys are like they're playing against other guys like body contact spitting on each

other all this kind of shit. They get off and put it on. Then they get onto the bench and they have to put their masks back on. I'm like, that literally makes no sense. It's just contradicting. It's to follow the narrative. I just saw the Olympics canceled fans because of this. I don't care either way, but it should at least be consistent, right?

Like, it's like, okay, well, we can either have masks on or we can't have masks on. But it's just like the way they go, the way it's been gone about as of late is just kind of ridiculous. Like, I don't know. Oh, here? Because since masks are not mandatory anymore, I feel like most people luck trying to tell Wisconsin

you need to put them back on. That's what I'm saying. Good, spocking. There's no going back now. If this variant made it here, no one. They'll be like, okay, we'll die. Give me a Miller Lite and I'll go out swinging. Especially if you go to a more conservative state too.

South Dakota, Idaho, Montana. South Dakota never had COVID. Yeah. They've been running normal. Florida hasn't had COVID. Florida doesn't give a fuck. Oh, hi Rita.

Oh boy. Who's this? Please, that's our neighbor. She usually walks the dog, Penny, and I'm always worried she's going to come in here. I'm like, what's going on?

And then I'm ready for it. I'm like, porn. And then she'll leave. But no, she usually has her dog. And I just don't want the dog running around. I probably wouldn't have cared about the virus. But with Cal and everything.

Oh, yeah. We got to get back to the kid. Oh, yeah. What do you want to know? I don't know. How's he like him? Is he cool? He brags a lot, though.

He gets more titties in his face than I do, so it's just kind of bullshit. When is that supposed to end? He just brags a lot, I don't know. Really? Yeah, he just looks at me. He just, like, he releases from the nipple and just gives you a wink.

He does, yeah. What a bastard. Are you all right being away from him this weekend? Or tonight? I actually do look forward to seeing him when I'm away from him. Yeah, I do. Oh, I assume so.

Do you want me to start crying? Are you trying to make Corey cry on this podcast right now? A hundred percent. I'd love all of you cried. It's one of those things. All right, try to make me cry. I bet if each and every one of you had a kid tomorrow, you'd all be good dads.

Thanks. I bet. Who would be the worst? Who? Yeah. Let's say it right now. Rank us. He volunteered.

Did Sam volunteer? All right, well. Rank us right now. Because it's like an intuition. Yeah, we need a ranking. We need a ranking. You're not getting out of this. One through six.

Who's from? Including yourself. Best to worst. Best to worst. Best to worst. Best to worst. Best to worst. Are we going off of sheer personality or situations as well?

Everything. Mike would be best. Thank you. He's been ready for that for three years. He's a chill guy like me. He's wanted a baby since 22. He's okay with laying low, settling down, you know. Going to bed at 8.

Yeah. God, this is the tough one. He's in this too. Definitely not you. He's the same between Guskey and Schmidt right now. Yeah, you're at the bottom of the total pool. Yeah, I know. Now me and Schmidt.

You know, your mustache is getting kind of creepy now. Then you and then Dan. Okay. So you're below us three? Huh? We're supposed to be included. I already am. He's already got it.

I think I'm doing pretty good. Yeah. So it goes Mike, Schmidt, you, me. What about Sam? Did not expect to be in the bottom. Which means he's probably like number two. Tied. Tied, yeah.

Just trying to play it hard. Oh, you know, he's good. He was born at 8 pounds, 7 ounces, 21 inches. Don't really know what any of those statistics mean. He was born at 10.35 a.m. It was beautiful. It was messy. I did not shed a tear, but it was beautiful.

Was it really beautiful? It's weird. It's weird. Or is it disgusting? It's so weird. How does it, like, do you have to be, are you in the room? Oh, I'm in the trenches, baby. Are you right there by the doctor?

Corey fucking delivered it. I thought I'd be, like, sitting down the entire time, just letting them do everything. But then the nurse was like, she's like, hey, come on, you can be involved too. I was like,

all right, whatever. So I stood up and like when she's like, when you start pushing, you like have to hold her legs back. Okay. So she's just in like

a better spot to push. Kind of how they made the baby. I tried, I tried, no, I really did. I tried not to look, but it's hard not to when you're there.

Yeah. But it is what it is. I mean, you can't really unsee it, but it's also, I mean, I'm a No, I really did. I tried not to look, but it's hard not to when you're there. Yeah. But it is what it is. I mean, you can't really unsee it, but it's also. I mean, I'm a nurse. It's also cool. I'm in like nursing too, so it doesn't bother me. Yeah. It really didn't.

I didn't like. I think that'd be fun. I didn't get dizzy. I didn't feel like I had to pass out. So. Yeah. Some people look at. That.

Pregnant woman's stomach and they're like. Pass out. Really? Oh, yeah. Some people. It is really. Yeah. Amazing.

How that happened. yeah what the the pregnancy or just giving birth when a man meets a girl cory gave me when we found out they were pregnant cory gave me a lecture by the way i did not respond to it very well. When I found out that you were expecting a child. My first text to you was, are you serious? I can't remember how I told you. What's up? How did I tell you? Did I text you? No, no, no.

I was made aware by someone else. I was working out on the bike up here. We dropped it on the Insta. No, Facebook. Both. But I was made aware while we out on the bike because we dropped it we dropped it on the the insta no facebook oh yeah both but i was made aware while we were on the bike and they're like is it serious cory and ellie i'm like like fuck they got another dog and i was like all right because when you guys got a dog people like freaked out and i got 30 phone calls. He's a good dog. I don't know what to tell you. Well, just like, and then this announcement,

my heart sank. Someone told me I got someone pregnant. I was like, in my head, I was like, no, well, you did. But in my head, I was like, I'm not ready to have a kid. So you guys hear the story of the day I found out? Yeah. Okay. You told me afterwards – you told me a story real quick?

Yeah. You told me, hey, just to make sure, always wear a condom, pull out even, and double wrap it if you can. Yeah. I was like, all right, thanks, Dad. Yeah. Go ahead. Tell the story you found out.

I apparently have good swimmers because everything we tried didn't work. So I was like, well. But it's best. You know, Cal's the best thing that ever happened to me. Yeah. That fucking hurts. Yeah. We're getting real soft up in here.

He went to prison when you were in his life. Yeah. Yeah, maybe there is a reason I'm at the bottom of that dad list. Ex-felon, you know. I should have fucking wore that shirt today. I thought I'd have my mugshot plastered everywhere around here. That's what I was expecting.

I have the blanket, though. You do. You have my blanket, too. I have your blanket. I was told I was getting one of those shirts. Yeah, being a daddy. Well, we were talking about how you went to jail, too. You're still a daddy, but I'm like a dad.

You're a daddy, I'm a dad. I used to be zaddy, whatever a daddy. Well, we were talking about how he went to jail, too. You're still a daddy, but I'm like a dad. You know, you're a daddy, I'm a dad. I used to be zaddy, whatever that means. People used to call me zaddy. I don't know what that means either. I saw croissant. That's the W, people. Sitting on the ledge. Don't eat that.

I got to throw that into the woods. I do want to. I was tempted. I'm drunk and I got the munchies. I'll get us food here soon. We only got like 15-20 minutes left Alright So

No rush So Elle's like Feeling sick I can't really rush time The like past couple days And she's like Nauseous and shit Where you just think like

Cause normally she gets like that When her time of the month Comes or whatever So we're like Alright whatever And then so it gets closer And she's like And then she mentions like

Oh I missed my period A couple days I'm like oh fuck Like back man like those pregnancy scares shit going down I'm like and so then I'll make a long story short we go for a jog one day around the block and I have moose and we're like jogging and she's like I just don't feel good I'm gonna meet you back at house we're like jogging. And she's like, oh, I just don't feel good. I'm going to meet you back at the house. So I kept jogging. And I get back and I'm like in the basement and I see her come in the house and she just leaves right away. I'm like, that's a little fucking weird.

So I was like, wait. And I'm like, I text her. I'm like, where'd you go? Didn't respond. And she comes back and all I hear is, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. She's going up the stairs like running and Five minutes later just come down. She's like just balling. She's like I need to talk to you And in that moment I knew

Yeah, and then yeah The initial shock do it but it lasts like 30 minutes And then I was like Let's do this And now Michael Jr. is healthy 8 months later Michael Jr. is healthy He's good I'm a little pissed

He's starting to crawl He's got 7 teeth He's actually a really easy baby like he doesn't cry very much sleeps pretty good sleeps pretty good yep he takes after his dad

lucky yeah that's for sure I do sleep really good you sleep real well yep I hit the pillow I'm out yeah I'm not

yep fuck if my kid is ever like me that kid's gonna be obnoxious as shit we won't make that happen yeah make sure you just find like really, really chill girl. Really chill, quiet girl.

To offset you. So that we just have a normal child. Huh? So you have a normal child, yeah. Fuck, I'm going to talkative girl. That kid's going to scream until he's 18 or she. I feel like having the kid actually hasn't locked me down as much as you think like i it was covid that was what locked me down yeah i feel like i wasn't able to go anywhere because

i didn't want to get him sick because it wasn't me i didn't give it i didn't give a shit yeah to be honest i was like i'll be fine like whatever but i didn't want to bring anything to home to him yeah i get that so it was tough tough year, but whatever. How old is he now? Eight months this month on the 13th. Damn. Yeah, that's it. I thought he'd be like over – for some reason I was thinking he was over a year old. Nope.

That means I haven't seen you for at least 10 months. November. Yeah, it's been a long time. Right there. So. Is he alive? Yeah, man. It's awesome.

I love dad life. It's cool. I like single life. It's kind of fun. I bet you do. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's awesome. I love dad life. It's cool. I like single life. It's kind of fun. Yeah, you do. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's not as fun.

I do think about the old times a lot, like just college and shit. I've been able to interact with no women these past years. I am able to interact with women, and I still don't. That's just how it goes sometimes. Yeah, I know. You win some, you lose some. It'll be interesting. I had a little heartbreak a couple months ago. I didn't have a me heartbreak.

You were a little torn up about that one. Were you? No, I wasn't torn up. I was a little upset. Plenty of girls. Plenty of girls. Hold on. Hold on.

Hold on. Let's decode this one. If you can't talk to women and not too long ago, you had a little heartbreak. No, I didn't. It wasn't a heartbreak. It was over-exaggerated. No, no, no. Are we switching sides here a little bit? It's the most upset I've seen him over had a little heartbreak. No, I didn't. It wasn't a heartbreak. It's over. Are we switching sides here a little bit? I've seen him over just a little fling.

So you liked her? Yeah. That's fair. It's okay to admit it. It's okay to admit it. Hey, but now I'm just living life once again. You're still in Tucson, right? Like a little outside of Tucson. Oh yeah, a little outside of Tucson.

I mean, yeah, pretty much damn near Mexico. You walk outside of Tucson. Oh, yeah, a little outside. It's down there in Mexico. I mean, yeah, pretty much down near Mexico. You walk up the mountains by me, you just look over them. You just see the border wall. Are you on the base or are you on an apartment? No, I'm outside. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm outside. Gotcha.

I don't live on base. Nice. I'm an officer, so. Oh, are you really? Good for you. Thanks. Ossifer. Ossifer. Ossifer.

I'm getting hungry. Are we cutting this podcast and just going to go ahead and do the action? We should grill here soon. I'll wrap it up with a set of questions real quick just because I'm doing it for season two. Serious-ish. Not really, but like, no, it is. We'll start with Schmidt so you can get his out of the way. So when I started season two is basically when I was about to turn 25.

And I was thinking, all right, I need to do something before I turn 25. And I had done it already. But I was like, all right, I have to make sure before I turn 25, the start of this year, I'm doing stand-up. And I did it. And I was like, all right, I have to make sure before I turn 25, the start of this year, I'm doing stand-up. I did it. I was like, all right, I'll check that off the box. Pretty good. Aren't you so fucking proud of him?

So proud of this kid? This isn't about me. Stop. It is. I've just read it. I'll keep talking him up. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah, dude.

I will put you down. I would have been there in the front row. I would have put everything, too. He does. It's really obnoxious. So, how old are you? 25. When do you turn 26? The same day you do.

God damn it. Ouch. Ouch, ouch, ouch. All right, so this year, before you turn 26, what is something you have to do? Same question to both of you so you have time to think. What was the question? Yeah, why did you start off?

Are you a golden retriever? Like a squirrel? You know, it sucks because I've already skydived twice, so I can't say something like that. You can't just say skydiving. I mean, skydiving isn't the only thing you've ever wanted to do. It could be something simple or like something like I'll give you the other two guys answers who have answered this. And I didn't ask my brother and his friend because they're 21 and I'm pretty sure their goal is I want to get fucked up before I'm 22.

Sounds about right. But Danny wants to take a trip by himself without his family, without his parents, just him. And then my athlete I sponsor now wants to make sure he puts on 15 pounds by the end of next year to make his next season even better. Fuck, this is tough. If you guys have your answer while he's thinking, go for it. But hurry the fuck up because I don't want dead space for the next five minutes. Dead space sucks.

You guys know? In a podcast. You guys answer. Dead space. Dead space. I just have so much coming up within the next year, I think, that it's tough for me to...

Okay, I got it. Okay, we'll all go since nobody else is going. I got two things. Okay. I want to get a dog. All right. Belgian Malinois. Wait, hold going. I got two things. Okay. I want to get a dog. All right. Belgian Malinois.

Wait, hold on. You mumbled that. What was it? Belgian. Belgian? Malinois. Malinois. Malinois.

You know, like, the dogs. It's not a full Belgian Malinois. I'm going to get one. All right. You have one, apparently. You got a little shit. All right, so it's dog. But he's a good guy.

Banner's a good dog. It's dog and what? Because I have clipped everyone's answers, and I will montage it at the end of season two. Like, you guys have. Okay, I want to get a dog, and I also want to pick martial arts back up. Cool.

Okay. Yeah, sweet. Do you have to have, like, just pick it up? I did it back in high school a little bit, and then I stopped throughout college, but I'd like to continue it once again. So Muay Thai or boxing probably, yeah. Cool.

Picking up something like that would be real fun to work out. I can't think of one thing I want to do, but I have stuff to look forward to. It's just something you want to do in the next year. Yeah, I mean, I turn 26 in September. So how about after you turn 26, before you turn 27? On my 26th birthday, I'll be in Colorado elk hunting. Okay. So I'll be like in the mountains, hopefully shooting an elk.

Damn, you didn't invite us? You're gone. Anyways. Then hopefully I'll start work, so I'll be out of school. So, okay. Hopefully. There you go. You have a job. Yep. Then hopefully I'll start work So I'll be Out of school So okay Hopefully There you go You have a job Yeah

By the time you're 26 Or just after 26 You want to say It'll be just It'll be October When the residency program starts So I'll be a resident So we'll give you 26

In like a month I'll be a resident By October Good Alright You have to be a resident By October Yep

You have to get a dog and what? What was your other one? Martial arts. Martial arts. You've had so much time to think. If you give me something like I want to go snowboarding twice, I will fucking kill you. I want to try surfing and be good at it. And I want to consistently shoot in the 70s for golf.

Are you that fucking good? No. I'm at like the 80, low 80s, mid 80s range. You shot club though. You were like, you were on the club team.

Yeah, but that was just for fun. I, but you still have to, pretty good to be on club. Try, how about, I was on the B team.

Let's do it. I mean, you have to be decent. Whatever. Let's modify it because golf is hard. Let's go, you have to surf,

try it, and you have to get in the 70s twice. Okay. By our birthday next year. I've shot in the 70s. Oh, you have? I turned 26. I want to be consistently 82 and below. Okay.

So I'll say that. How often do you golf? I have to have a way to gauge. Three times a week. Okay. So I'll say that. Give me, how often do you golf? Because I have to have a way to gauge. Three times a week. Okay, you have to have one week where it's 70s every week or between like 75 and 82

the entire week. I just got my job back at Kohler Summit at the Black Wolf Run courses in the West Side Straits. Fuck you. You got your job back? I want to try and

like amp up my practice. Well, we got to wait until Corey's back before we say goodbye. Dude, that's nice. Yeah. How long is that commute? 50 minutes. And they just needed, I mean, because no one's fucking working right now. So they needed some help with banquets and stuff.

So I'm just doing a couple banquets a month and getting my golf back. So I think it makes me want to like actually practice and like become almost a scratch golfer. With coaching lacrosse, I wasn't able to golf a lot this year. So I'm finally getting back into it. And like last weekend I golfed two decent, one nice course, another decent course at the cog hill down in uh chicago which is tiger one there super cool it's like a going away party for one of our buddies

grant so much fun um that course is fucking tough sand everywhere but yeah it's nice to get back into it yeah cory hurry up. He does pee very quick. He does, yes. Every time he goes, I'm like, did you go already? We talk about this Maduro story all the time. Oh, my God. It's the Maduro. It literally took him two seconds.

I was thinking about that. He's back. How could you even have peed? Every time he peed in Maduro, he would just come back. I'm like, I swear to God, I said hello to one of them. You just left. Fastest pisser in the Midwest. He truly is.

He really is. Yeah, it was pretty fast. We're going to end this. Keeping them at an hour because it makes editing easier, especially when I'm about to be editing two to three weeks now.

Are we running at an hour right now? We're past an hour. I promise you. Thank you for doing this. Yeah. Thanks for having us. I expected to have all of you as individual episodes, but it'll happen. We'll do it again. It'll happen again.

It's nice to have you back and at least get you on because you messaged me like two, three months ago saying, I'll be back around this weekend. And usually when that far in advance happens, sometimes it doesn't work out. So it's kind of great that it did work out and everyone else is here. Mike, I'm sorry you didn't even get any air time. Did Sam get any air time? Do you want to at least put your face in the camera real quick? He's like, all right.

Just, like, stand in front of the big one. No, no, no, right in the middle here. Right in the middle here. Are you off screen? Stand in front of the big one. What's up, no. Right in the middle here. Right in the middle here. Are you off screen? Stand in front of the big one. What's up, y'all? No, no, no. Right here.

You stand here like this. Get here like this. And I want you to say goodbye. See y'all later, folks. Howdy, folks. Have a good one. See y'all later. All right, guys.

We're done. Peace. Peace. See you guys.