Fat Chance Podcast - Ep.21 - Sam Walsh

Episode Date: July 21, 2021

You ever have that one friend...?

It's about fucking time. Holy shit, am I warm. What's going on, buddy? Not much. I want my voice back. Dude, you sound like you just got from a concert. Yeah, and I didn't do it. Wait, no.

We saw, I guess we saw Bella Kane. I saw your parents last weekend. My mom told me, yeah. So your parents last weekend my mom told me yeah um so your parents last weekend but I mean I don't think my voice has gone

from that I think it's just my wear and tear for the last two weeks has been a lot um oh well a few of these

dude I haven't had these in a while dude I know and I fucking live here I don't even like like them that much like people go crazy for them like outside of the Wisconsin and I'm just like, they're all right.

It's not bad, but since I've been gone for so long, I come back and I'm like, you know what? I'm going to get a spot cow. It's probably my favorite non-light beer because it tastes light. It's not too beer-y. If you had to describe what a beer tastes like, I think it's not too beer-y. It's just, like, if you had to describe, like, just, like, what does beer taste like, I think it's this. Yeah, and it's not too, like, blue moony or, like, summer shandy. You can have a few of these. Yeah, exactly.

Like, where you don't get sick of it, like, right away. Absolutely not. It feels dark in here. Yeah, whatever. It's kind of gloomy out. It's supposed to rain today. I was like, great. Fuck me out during the Bucs game.

Well, I mean, are you going into the stadium or are you? Going in, dude. We got tickets. First game. Blasting, dude. I mean, absolutely shredded. Yeah. I'm starting at 11 a.m.

I still have yet. Is that going to be your first time in Pfizer? Yeah. No, I think I went to a game two years ago or like right when it opened. I do not remember it at all. But I have not been to the Deer District since it like blew up. Yeah, I've been like twice. I've been there for one game.

It's when we beat the Nets in game seven. Yeah. So that was a lot of fun. But I have yet to be in the stadium. I watched that game in Hays, Kansas. Yeah. Hays, Kansas? Yep.

I don't even know, dude. Oh, yeah, you're doing that. I forgot the golf thing. It's one strip. It's one road. It has a Wendy's, a Walmart, and a strip club. That's it. That's all I got.

Wendy's, Walmart, and why not have a strip club? Jesus Christ. I know. It's like, what are you going to do? Okay, if you're going to have any fast food restaurant in a small town, like you get one, are you picking Wendy's? No,

I'm glad I did not eat there. I went and got a lean cuisine from Walmart. Oh God. That might be worse. Dude. No, I'm not fucking with Wendy's. What would you,

what would you pick if you had like, you had to live in like a small town the rest of your life and you get one fast food joint, what are you taking? Dude, honestly, honestly i would i would build the culverts there does culvers count yeah culvers counts definitely culvers then there's a variety of foods there yeah absolutely because one dude being out in california in and out is their thing and it absolutely sucks i hate in and out it's, but it's just burgers, right? It's just burgers. Their fries are soggy, gross.

Their milkshakes are all right. Like, it's nothing, like, crazy. That's, like, it's just the name. It's just like a diner. Yeah, it's really not that fabulous. And so I'm like, dude, you guys need to have Culver's. No one's had it. And I'm like, all right, but below your mind.

Culver's might be the best pick. Oh, yeah. Because, I mean, you can have their chicken's good. Burgers are great. Custard. Are you kidding me? That's unbelievable. Well, what are your options? It's like McDonald's, Burger King, Taco Bell.

Taco Bell might be second option. Just like if I come back hammered, great. If you couldn't do Culver's. Because I feel like that's like a high end. Not high end, but like fast food. Oh, yeah, a little bit. Yeah. I mean, that's like top tier fast food, I think.

But if you had to do bottom tier, I'm talking McDonald's, Wendy's, Taco Bell, Arby's. Fuck Arby's. Checkers. Checkers. White Castle. Whataburger. White Castle. No, this kind of reminds me of when we first started doing these episodes.

We were watching the guy eat 10,000 calories in a day. Dude, yeah. We just commented on those. Those videos, though, were hilarious. We oddly got into, like, let's just watch this guy eat 30,000 calories today. I started watching them at work. When I would go to work and I was bored, I would throw one on and be like like let's see what this guy can eat today and i think we liked it so much because we weren't eating we were like the bear we're like how can we eat 1500 calories because our

fat asses are trying to lose some weight that was like the closest thing we got to to nuts uh the next stage was like grabbing an oreo and like smelling it oh yeah and like not eating it but just smelling it and then eating an apple. Yeah. People do that. Oh, yeah. Cheeseburger, apple. I'm like, what the fuck? You buy the cheeseburger.

Oh, yeah, exactly. And they just throw it away. And I'm like... Go get Scratch and Sniff stickers. I think that'd work better. Just like, oh, yeah, I'm feeling a cherry today. Feeling cherry today. Orange, lemon. Oh, good God. I can't imagine. I'm all for the healthy eating, but I think'm feeling a cherry today. Feeling cherry today. Orange, lemon. Oh, good God.

I can't imagine. Like, I'm all for the healthy eating, but I think that's a little extreme. Dude, I try my hardest. It's tough. Especially being on the road. I can imagine. I eat, like, eight protein bars a day just to get my fixin' of, like, protein. And that's, like, about it.

Can you cook at all anywhere? No. Nowhere. It's, like like fast food restaurants like restaurants are bad you can get like a chicken sandwich or like some kind of chicken salad or something like that but like dude you just wake up like i lose weight like i come back after like a long trip and i'll just eat like protein bars and like like we'll have like a salad for dinner and i come back and i'm like 150 and i'm like dude i was like 165 when i fucking left like

what is going on right now yeah i i would probably be in the same boat i'm like i just can't eat any of this because i'm gonna feel gross do you get like a food stipend or something through work yeah it's like 50 bucks a day that's i never hit that ever if this guy keeps drilling i'm gonna fucking kill him if i feel rowdy i mightdy, I might get a beef jerky. Just pound that. But it's so salty. Beef jerky's not bad. It's so salty, though.

Yesterday, I had it. What the fuck? Do you know what we're doing over here? Dude, I think he's sanding his bathroom right now. He's drilling into the garage. Dude, this is bothering me. My aunt came and took the paddle board back from us. This seems so bad.

I'm going to have to put stuff back up on the walls here just to feel like I'm in a studio again. Let's just get hammered and start sealing stuff. I know. Just like a sign. Let's finish this off real quick. Yeah, a sign or something. Throw it up there.

Oh, I had more than I thought. Just like old times, bud. Yeah, I know. Although this time, I was telling Dan and Jack yesterday, because I was hanging out with them. So your first ever podcast I did, which they've never been released, and rightfully so. They shouldn't be.

They should never be released. I mean, they're in that box right there, that like tablet we were doing it on. Yeah. I just, it's in that box. Like that's a podcasting box, my microphone. I'd have to like find the charger to open them up. But the first one we did, and I've said it on here before, we only took shots of tequila. Oh yeah.

Because we're in the health care. We got it for free, yeah. And we're like, let's just do shots of tequila. Like, what do you want to mix it with? We're like, I don't know. I don't want the sugary juice that's going to make it taste okay. It's like, fucking shots. I don't remember ending the episode.

Dude, I remember we were like, oh, yeah, okay. We decided on tequila. All right, we're doing tequila. So we go to the store. We bought, like, 20 limes. And, like. You talk. I got to get this meat wrappers that are running. We bought like 20 limes, a ton of salt.

And I remember just waking up to salt everywhere. It looked like we just came from the beach and it was just like sand everywhere. We dumped our blow everywhere. Oh, dude, yeah. It was like all over the table. it was just like sand everywhere that are like dumped or blow everywhere oh dude yeah it was like all over the table limes were just like shriveled up and like gross and like the by the way it was a handle of 1800 tequila and it was three-fourths gone yeah it's between two people yeah i woke up on the bathroom floor and then i woke up in like you remember obviously you remember like the sink area i mean there was a really weird like apartment you had yeah but like the closet and

that was like a changing area yeah i think yeah i'd like woke on the bathroom floor didn't make it to the couch and just fell asleep on the floor after that i remember i was like what the fuck is going on i remember i think the next morning because sundays and i still do it to this day i was like i can eat whatever the fuck I want on Sundays. I think I drove to Krispy Kreme, bought a dozen donuts, and just all I ate that day was 12 donuts. I think you did, yeah. It was fucking disgusting.

Well, then, like, our dumb asses, we did it again. Remember when my friend Goody came? We did it again where it was, like, just tequila. Did he do one with us? Yeah, dude, that was that sketchy night that he's like, yo, we got to go see this guy. That he met on the fucking plane. Dude, yeah, this rapper. And so we drive down to this sketchy ass, like, basically the third of my-

Back alley bar. Back alley rap bar where these guys are just rapping. And this guy comes, gets us in line to pull us in. He's wearing a bulletproof vest. By the way, to pull us in he's wearing a bulletproof vest oh wait he's not the only one wearing a bulletproof vest and now i now see like a bunch of rappers wearing like that so i guess it's fashionable but as the only three white guys there dude and they're wearing bulletproof vests like holy i never will forget everyone's face when three white dudes walked in and we're just like we are not in kansas anymore

no we did not shit but when we started talking to that guy we kind of were like all right these guys are kind of cool yeah like we felt a little more comfortable that's the first time i've ever seen weed like openly sold oh dude it was outside of a dispensary i mean it was just in jars like you want some sure i mean open like it was like it was a farmer's market it was a farmer's work like tents and tables set up with like signs that were like what the kush was called and like how you could buy it and then it was open mic for rapping so it's like what the is going on just like open mic oh my god that was unbelievable i can't believe that i remember looking at you being like dude we gotta go right when go. Right when we got in, we got to go.

I think I had, it was enjoyable for like a half hour. I'm like, we just don't fit in here. And then I think you went to the bathroom and like, so did Goody. And they're all like, do you guys, you want to blow? You want to blow? You come back like, damn, we are in the wrong place. I mean, the right place, but the wrong place. Yeah, exactly.

We like went out and then I remember we like like we got like super fucked up or whatever and then we woke up and like andrew woke me up with a tequila shot because we were going to the burger game that day against the marlins oh yeah and he woke me up with tequila shot and i took it and he immediately went to the bathroom and was just like nope dude is that the day you shaved your facial hair? Dude, yeah, mud chops. Mud chops? Yeah, dude. That was fucking disgusting. All right. I want to know. Do you want me to do it with my teeth?

Before I do it with my teeth so I can't talk with beer in my mouth. How? I always want to know. How did Marlins Park make any fucking money? First of all, we got our tickets for $5. And then we got each a $ like food voucher to get in so first of all we were given we were basically paid to go in yeah the park is still empty and then they have like the one or like the two three four menu yeah so it was like two dollar hot dogs three dollar beers four dollar like giant nachos dude

i think that's the most hot hot dogs have ever seen someone put down I think you had six oh yeah I was going like one inning I was just like eff it dude let's go it was a Sunday too I mean you went full Joey Chestnut on the fucking hot dude I went full Joey Chestnut with all the fixings too like everything well we basically got our food for free and we basically the whole day just paid for beer that was it that whole game i think i spent and i think when most people go to a brewery game and if you're gonna or not brew any baseball game and you're like i'm gonna buy all my drinks there like this is at least a hundred dollar day to have like a buzz yeah i think i spent 30 bucks and i was fucked up

dude yeah the coolest thing about you know is I do get to scratch off a ton of my baseball stadiums. Yeah, I'm a little jealous when I see your snap. Damn, dude, it is expensive. I think I spent $120 on beer at the Kansas City Royals game. And I was just like, honestly, fuck it. You want me to come to Kansas City. Oh, my God, it was so much fun, man. But, oh, yeah.

Here's the thing. This is going to turn into me being fucking hammered today and tomorrow. This is great. This is great. I just got a text asking to Sunday Funday from Morgan, and I think I'm going to say yes when we're done with this. You might as well, dude. I'm going straight home. Doug wants to light a cigar.

Have a couple. I got Schlitz in the car for him. You're coming back soon, right? I'm going to. Yeah, so I'm actually going to be back the second week of august just do it again you can be a reoccurring guest yeah i'll do it not for sure i'd like to and then i'm going i'm going like i'm going to be home for like three four days like we have tournaments in um uh sheboygan or no it's not sheboygan a cedarburg uh middleton and nina can i come to one of those and just hang out?

Absolutely, yeah. I'm going to steal a hat. I'll give you whatever. I'm going to steal a hat and blame it on you. Just to get you in trouble. Dude, yeah, whatever. I'm out. I want to get some more golf attire. I just bought

shorts. Well, I bought Lulu shorts because I'd like to wear them out besides golf. I hate golf shorts, man. I hate them. They go to your, like, past your knees. I'm like, this is way... Dude, I have to wear them for work.

I look like a fucking old man. You can't wear, like, other shorts? You have to wear Travis Matthew. I have to wear Travis Matthew on events. That makes sense. There's, like, a running joke that if I do wear Travis Matthew, my, like, team is shocked.

If it's an off day, because we wear it so much for events and stuff like that, that I never wear it ever outside of an event or something like that. Well, that's the equivalent of if you work at a bar. It's like, what are you going to do when you go out? Do you want to go to the W? I'd rather not go to the W. You end up there. Everybody went there, though.

Yeah, everyone there. But you get it. That's the last place I want to go right now. Can we go somewhere else? Oh, you said that so many there. Everybody went there though. Yeah. Everyone there. But like, you get it. That's the last place I want to go right now. Can we go somewhere else? Oh, you said that so many times. I know.

So many times. So I'm like, can we please go somewhere else? Like, no, we're all going there. Yeah. Fuck it.

That's what it is. Like, all right, I do this five days a week. The last place I want to go is go back to work on my day off. And at least it's like, at least what we would do

is like, we would get buzzed and go to like a couple beforehand, like maybe get a little drunk and then we'll be like, all right, let's go all right now we go and now we're ready yeah we got our fix elsewhere let's go not pay for drinks anymore exactly yeah so it's a little different like but you i get like yeah i'm just like dude so much i hate dude if i if i leave you can have all my shit never wear it again i don't see't see... That's the other thing, too.

I'm very picky with how my clothes fit. And I've tried a lot of their stuff on. A lot of it doesn't fit me. It doesn't fit. Yeah. My favorite hats aren't just these Nike dry fit ones. They look golf-ish. Like Brooks Koepka type hats.

Yeah, exactly. That's perfect for me for golf. Yeah, I agree. I don't need... I can't wear Nike anymore. Piss. I love, I think Nike is my favorite.

I want, although I do want different golf shoes. I don't know if I'm a huge fan of Nike golf shoes. You should check out, check out, actually,

ours are actually super sick. I just got some, too. I want a pair of G4s right now. G4 is cool. G4 is real cool. I have, I have, like, the basic Foot Joy ones. We're kind of like, we're like G4, too. G4 is real cool. I have like the basic foot joy ones.

We're kind of like, we're like G4 too. We're just not as old. Yeah. They go to like six year old men. I'm like, fuck that. I don't know if I could do the,

depending on where we golf and if we all decided, hey, let's dress, dress up for golf. Yeah. Then I could wear like the dressier shoes. Otherwise,

I like the more athletic looking stuff. Oh dude, you should see it. We have this shoe. Otherwise, I I like the more athletic looking stuff. Oh, dude You should see it. We have this shoe. It's called the It's called the legend. It looks like a 1930s Golf shoe really and it is our most selling one and people are like, yeah that she was unbelievable I'm like in my head. I'm like Ever dude, I was like, what are you doing? That's great

I'm like also i'm like trying to look at the temperature for this fucking smoker right now dude we gotta get you one that's on your phone just yeah i know but like this was just like uh during uh quarantine my mom was like i was so bored that when we like literally could do nothing when we all could do nothing yeah the first three weeks just get drunk and i was i was like i was trying to like cook and drink and my mom all of a sudden like the doorbell rang she goes mike you should go get that and i'm like Yeah. The first three weeks. Just get drunk. And I was, I was like, I was trying to like cook and drink. And I'm all of a sudden like the doorbell rang. She goes,

Michael, you should go get that. And I'm like, okay. And this giant smoker just showed up. Like, all right. I know what I'm doing every weekend for the next two months. Dude.

Yeah. Have you gotten, you mastered that thing? Uh, yeah. The only problem, like, so I would love like, obviously Traeger is a very name brand and there's other ones that thing? Uh, yeah. The only problem, like, so, I would love,

like, obviously Traeger is a very named brand, and there's other ones that are very good, like Pit Masters and stuff like that. Um, I would like one that I can have it on my phone, just like, hey,

set it to 250, stay at 250, tell me I need to put something else in. Yeah. Good. This one is charcoal, and then, for smoke, obviously you gotta put wood in in but i have to sit out here and make sure it stays around the temperature so i'm like constantly closing and

opening vents i'm like so instead of me being out like oh this smokes for two hours i'm like no i'm smoking as well right now well i'm surprised that you stayed so fit dude if that was me i'd sit out there with a lawn chair just have a cooler next to me miami was a when we lived in miami it was a good uh precursor for me being able to and the pandemic has helped where like that's all i could do but i couldn't go to the gym i have like an assault bike upstairs yeah i did that until i burned uh like 600 calories and then i would do like push-ups and pull-ups and i would i had like five pound weights then I would do like push-ups and pull-ups

and I would, I had like five pound weights and I would do like a hundred curls and shit like that. Yeah, just do whatever you can just to get it.

And that's what I do. But do you know the best way to do a bike and not realize you're biking? Like a stationary bike? Play the show. Play the show. Dude,

I've been doing TikToks. I've been watching TikToks while I'm uh doing cardio makes it go by like a breeze i'll be like go rolling through tiktoks and be like shit that was 30 minutes already oh fuck me okay cool maybe i'll start lifting now for me i got i did it for like the three months you couldn't go to the gym yeah i got it down to where i was like all right one game is about when I do like my road to show. Yeah. And I would like at this, I would go back and forth. Like I had one character who was on like easy mode, one that's not hard.

I'm like, all right. So hard mode, one game is like, and I would do the full game as like a catcher. Hell yeah. And I go, one game is like a hundred calories. And then I go to easy mode, one game, like four at-bats, 45. And so I was like, all right. I mean, I have – I never thought in my life I would play a baseball game for one until I met you. Yeah, got you on that, baby.

Got hooked how into it you were. I mean, you would go to work and then text me while I'm doing stuff at your place. You're like, hey, man, can you go purchase this, sell this, man? Like, are you doing anything at work um but i have no i have like there's no i think i have nine seasons done you really wow i've never i have the i have the record for everything yeah besides are you still on basis dude i average like 150 home runs a year it's disgusting yeah. Yeah. It just passes the time. It passes the time.

And then you're done, like, an hour and a half later. I'm like, well, I did half a season of baseball. Dude, you want to hear something just shocking? This will blow your mind. I have not played video games in 2021. Not the show. Didn't purchase it. Didn't bring my PS4 to California with me.

I was like, all right, we're changing it up. All right, we're going to, gonna like read more or work out more or just like be an actual human being instead of sitting on my ass the entire time and just like stuck with it i still haven't played like i will like play a little bit like we have golden tea yeah on the truck and so i'll like throw that on or like i'll play that for a little bit but i I'm not, like, sitting there for four or five hours, like, grinding out. Like our Sundays when you just sit there and I would watch you play baseball. I oddly like watching people play video games in person. I'm not, like, I can't watch people do it online.

Like on Twitch or whatever? Yeah, it's dumb. I can, I guess I can say I haven't either, except for last weekend, I went to the liquor store before the 4th of July, and I was like, I would like to work out before I do a day of drinking. Of course. But I was like, I need to be at, we were golfing first or something like that. So I was like, there's no way I make it down to my gym,

work out for a half hour and back. So I was like, I'm just going to do the bike, and I haven't done it since the pandemic. And something clicked, I just grabbed the controller, I played like three games, and then I dipped. It was literally like riding a bike. It was literally like riding a bike

you haven't done in a while. It was literally riding a bike, yeah. Just like muscle memory, just grab the remote. I pitched one game, I have a pitcher. And I like, my goal when I was playing it was like, I want 27 strikeouts in a game. And I was like, I'm not going to get it because I don't have the muscle memory anymore.

It's like one game, quick 200 calories, done. I was like, I'm out. But so yeah, other than that, I mean, even the most video games I ever played besides that pandemic was when I lived with you. But other than that, I haven't played video games in six years. I don really know i'm actually happy dude i feel great not playing out with they like dude i was there for hours just grinding shit away and just like i'd go

work out come back like after my cardio to like rest look at like the uh the like the market or whatever to like buy cards and then be like okay cool put in some orders go back and lift come back see if those came back and i was just like what am i doing like just stay in the it's like hey does that benefit you at all no yeah that's been my mindset like and now i kind of have had lately like sundays a hankering to like i kind of want to play a video game yeah because i like like the assassin creed stuff um and just like it's a video game. Because I like the Assassin's Creed stuff. It's a big game. It never really kind of ends. Or it's like, oh, maybe I'll just go play Pokemon on my phone or something like that.

Do you still have that, bro? No. We went through that phase, too. We went through that phase, too. And, yeah, that's when I couldn't sleep. And then our phones got hacked. Yeah, we were like, fuck. It's dead by like 11 a. and then our phones got like hacked yeah we're like fuck it's dead by like 11am

and I woke up at 10 where was I going with this but I know yeah I've had a hankering for like playing video games but because I want to do all this stuff and I have so many other products I want to do I don't think like when I come home

from working or coaching I don't think like when I come home from working or coaching, I'm like, I don't deserve to play because I need to do other stuff. And so I never do it. I just like go do something else. Yeah. And then I'll work for like an hour and then I'm like, then I'm on my phone just like I'm fucking bored. Dude, yeah.

I mean, the thing that pisses me off, like I will get notifications like, like, oh, you were on your phone for this certain amount of time. You know how you get those? Yeah. Oh, that's so annoying. Dude, I get them because I'm in the truck all the time. We're just driving places. Like, hey, you should limit your phone usage.

It just yells at me. It's like, you were up 45% and on your phone for eight and a half hours a day. And I'm just like, holy shit, eight and a half hours? I was like, most of the time I just watch movies. I would like to know how much of that is, like, does it count when your stuff's running in the background? So let's say you're working out for an hour and a half, but you have music going.

Is that an hour and a half of your day? That's a great point. If I'm being honest, there's no way I've actually looked at my phone for eight hours a day if i wake up at seven and i'm going to bed at like 11 or midnight and i'm busy throughout the day like i only have four hours really to look at my phone yeah but i'm listening to music all fucking day i work out for an hour and a half it has to be like you've been on like screen time especially if like if i sometimes listen to podcasts when i work out and like youtube ones so i have to have it open so i'm like so then it's like yeah yeah i listen to pocket all the time and on youtube so

i'm like fuck it's just yeah mine's yeah mine's bad that's just i like saw it i was like eight and a half hours a day i'm like like, well, I mean, fuck me. That sounds horrible. It sounds terrible. I've gotten the worst I've seen. You run your phone on average nine hours and 45 minutes a day this week. I go, are you kidding me? That's almost like an entire day for me.

Yeah. I mean, that's longer than people work. Yeah. These are going down easy And I'm feeling real good right now I feel great My voice This is my Saturday

Like this is my Saturday Yeah I could make this a fun day I don't fucking care Traveled yesterday To St. Louis And then flew from St. Louis home And then I got to fly to Indianapolis After this

I think I'm going to Nashville At the end of the month nice visit jake yeah for uh country jam country jam okay yeah i think by the way something on that who puts on a concert on a fucking monday it's on a monday yeah so i like i can't like i got two so i'm like fuck so now we're flying out, I think, Saturday and leaving Tuesday. I'm like, that's really going to fuck up my week. That's horrible. Yeah, on a Monday.

Sunday would be significantly better. But on Monday? I mean, I went through it in college. It would be like country thunder. I mean, that was like in April. So we'd have to leave Wednesday. I would skip all of my fucking classes. It makes more sense, college, if it's a week-long thing, it's just one day.

Yeah. Country Thunder, when you're there, what, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday? Or Country USA, where it's, what, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday? It was in the summertime. We were what? We were like cutting grass for jobs.

We can take off whenever. Now it's like, if we take off, it's like, alright, well, you're not getting paid and like jobs like we can take off whenever now it's like if we take off it's like all right well you're not getting paid and uh you know uh we're gonna take that off of your uh your salary or like we're gonna take that off your hours like oh man that's one less day you can take off later now i'm just gonna now you're just making me want to drink more exactly dude the difference and don't get me wrong i can still if someone if we had the time the problem is like in, don't get me wrong, I can still, if someone, if we had the time, the problem is like time.

We don't have it. But if we had the time to go do Thunder, Country USA, I think I could still do it. I could do it. I'd be hurting. Yeah. I'd be hurting. I wouldn't, yeah, I think we were always hurting. It's just like our egos when we were a little younger, we're still so young.

A little younger, we're like, no, I'm not that bad. Through the fucking roof right now. You know, one compliment just makes me just fucking go through this roof. We're done. Fucking Superman, dude. Especially as a guy. If you tell any other guy would come up to like one of us, like, you guys can actually put them back. You're like, yeah, we fucking can.

You want to see a couple more? We got some on you, baby. Fucking douchebags um but i i think that not pete but to put in perspective you and i how much we drank and could drink in a row yeah if i did seven days in a row right now i mean that monday always sucked like i was sorry but tuesday i'm back at it and i think i'd be okay. But that's because we literally had to do nothing Monday and Tuesday. Right now, I'd be gone for a month.

If I did a week long, it'd be like, fuck me. What's CUSA? It's Tuesday, Sunday. I think it was Tuesday through Saturday. I think Saturday was the last day. Because remember, we left. And we left to go to Chesney. Chesney that day.

And that was the last day. Which was so worth it. So worth it. I have that shirt somewhere still. It doesn't fit. It doesn't fit, yeah. Actuallyesney that day. And that was the last day. So worth it. So worth it. I have that shirt somewhere still. Doesn't fit. Doesn't fit, yeah. Actually, it might now. I think it was a little heavier set back then.

Mine might now too. Yeah. So we decided, you know what would be a good idea? You and I should go in a complete night earlier. So you and I left on Monday. We monday like we should be there right when it opened actually we should be there early because they said you could get there early because you camped yeah so we got there on monday i'm like this is right this makes the most sense like let's be here early first five straight days of drinking yeah yeah got blasted just the two of us monday

night remember that night barely dude okay i remember that night so we so that we we set up as much as we could before everyone else got there to bring like the the tents and stuff like that well i know that we had all the big stuff like the generator we had like all the cords that we needed like everything and we had my cooler in my cooler was a handle of jack daniels this was back when we drank jack and we absolutely we set up two chairs right next to each other that was it and we had my speaker and we put our speaker in the middle we had the handle of jack i think that was it because the boys were bringing all the beer yeah and so we just had the handle of Jack. I think that was it because the boys were bringing beer. All the beer, yeah. Yeah, and so we just had the liquor. We did just like whiskey Cokes.

It was exactly like Miami. We were just pounding this thing. And I'm pretty sure I woke up outside of the tent. Oh, yeah. Like on the grass, just like dazed and confused. That was the only night I slept in the tent. What fucking year is this? That was the only night I slept in the tent.

It was the night we showed up early. Yeah. It's just like, and then you wake up and you're just like, oh my God, dude. No, that's actually three more days of this. Us showing up early. Cause in the next morning we're like, oh, they're going to be here at noon. They didn't get there till like three, four o'clock. Yeah.

I think when we got that text too, we're like, yeah. Pop. Pop the top. And I think we went and got beer. We went and got beer. We went and got beer. I think we did, yeah. And so that's when I learned how to, I didn't power hour before that.

And they're like, you need to have six beers done in an hour. So it's nine o'clock in the morning. Like, let's power hour. And so we're six beers deep by 10. Cause we're like, we have like, that's when we're like, you have to have six done. Like if you didn't have six,

we did a power hour now and you did four. We're like, oh fuck. We just worked. We did it just to do it. like, we have, like, that's when we're like, you have to have six done. Like, if you didn't have six, if we did a power now and you did four, we're like, oh, fuck. We just were, we did it just to do it. Yeah, we did the math and it was like, you did, like, we had a shot glass. Yeah, we were so serious about it. Yeah, it was very close to, it was basically six beers. So then when we didn't have shot glasses, it was like, okay, mentality, it's like, you have to drink six beers.

Like, no matter where you're at. if you're coming down to the hour and you're like, shit, I'm only on four, you better start getting after it. And you would go way faster than I would. So when I saw you would be done with like your second, I go, oh, my next sip has to be the rest of my beer. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, that was, and then obviously like stories all this time we got drinking tickets and dude yeah thank you gainer unbelievable i just oh god how about sal during that says yeah the dude was walking in circles could have just left but it was just for an hour

it felt like anyone check that guy anyone check that guy just got he's just like he's just like yeah i'm underage just gets in the back of the fucking like what was it like a atv almost and he was just like yeah yep lost i'm gonna take the l on that one we got i mean dude it was a 30 minute ordeal for us to like get checked and then back in the car like and talking to us and then dumping get checked and then back in the car. Like, and talking to us. And then dumping out liquor. And they were, like, the only kind of cool thing they did is when they stopped me,

I was sitting in the back of D-Bone's truck or, like, car where all of our beer was. And you, like, slowly closed. And I, in front of them, I just go, yeah. I step back. I go, yeah, don't worry about it. I close it. He goes, you guys need to dump out your booze. I'm like, oh, you mean like the 12 beers we have left and a quarter of a handle of Jack

from Monday night? That. And then, dude, no. Remember that fucking bitch stole our bottle of Tito's. Oh, my God. Yes. And I was trying to make like vodka lemonades that weekend because I was like, I don't want to drink beer all weekend.

And she just stole it. She was like, I'm going to bring it back. it back yeah immediately as soon as she says that i'm like yeah i'm never seeing that again that's a lot that's the trip that started me bringing uh my twisted tea in the gatorade thing we didn't have to dump that out i was like oh that's water and like they can't taste it it's so um when we came back half the group's like we're just sitting in the tent we're done we're over by not half by how the group

I mean Taylor Bond well of course and Sal and like Taylor but you and I were just like and Gane and Gane was like

this is my 14th he was hesitant he was hesitant but you and I were just like you and I put the cooler in a tent watched Jim Jeffries comedy

and just pounded twisted tea until we had to go to the concert yeah dude it was that was such an eventful weekend. And that was day, what, day two?

Day two or three was when we got caught. And we drank the rest of the time. I feel like it was early because everyone wasn't drinking except you and I, naturally. And this is why my parents hate when we're together. We played beer die. I think your parents, if they listen to any episode, it should be this one. And they now realize that I lived with you in Miami. Still, to this day, do not know.

Yeah, they might now after this. I don't think they do. I mean, if you share this anywhere and they listen to it. I don't know. It was just, oh, my God. Yeah. I mean, dude, listen to this. I was so annoyed by it because I get annoyed by it naturally.

Like, we're not 18 anymore. Like, Michael and I, we're better. We're better. We're better than we used to be. Like, obviously, we love to have fun together because we haven't seen each other in so long. When we do, we're like, all right, we got to reminisce on our old times and, like, let's get fucked up. And I'm like, yeah, let's get fucked up. It'd be great.

So, I'm calling my mom. And I'm like, hey, if you don't want to pick me up from the airport, Michael can get me. Oh, this is this weekend. Yeah, this is this weekend. I'm like. This is still happening. Shit.

And immediately, I didn't even finish the sentence. I hear Doug in the background. Oh, no. No, no. No, no. You're not going out. You're not drinking. And like his thick Wisconsin accent. And I'm just like, I didn't even fucking finish. I was like, we're going to you're not going out. You're not drinking. And like his thick Wisconsin accent.

And I'm just like, I didn't even fucking finish. I was like, we're going to go over to Michael's. We're going to do the podcast and I'm going to come home. And my mom's just like, you're not partying. We know what happens with Michael and you. And I'm like, I'm like, mom, we're 25 about to be 26 years old in December. We're not going out and getting fucked up. We hate everybody anyway. Yeah. We might get fucked up, but it's going to be on two bar stools in this chair. Exactly. I was laughing because I didn't even finish my fucking sentence.

And they're just like, you and Michael? No. Absolutely not. And I'm just like, all right, fuck me. I'll see you tomorrow. Let's play. I mean, I 100% agree with you, but let's play devil's advocate

from your parents' eyes who haven't been with us. Because, let's be honest, yes, we have gotten into a lot of trouble. Yes, you have gotten into a lot of trouble, but 99% of it is your fault. It's all me. 100% of the time, I'm like there. I'm always...

I've told them that, too. I'm like, you guys know that's my fault. But they also... Like, yeah, but let's be honest. You probably are a little heightened when you're with my... Absolutely. That's fine. So, like, I will take some of the blame.

But let's go down the list of what has happened. We'll start early. Very simple. Your parents asked us to sand and stain some chairs. Sure. Sand and stain some chairs. sand and stain some chairs you know what that turned into us going in and out of your house at three o'clock in the morning with three random girls who showed up or not random but like we know they're drinking hammered to make you four

locos and like we're all we were having four locos and beer and we're like let's just go raid your your beer fridge yep in and out yep drinking tickets when we were 19 yep um yeah you were arrested on the way moving down moving you down to miami your dad didn't want us to leave early because he goes do you guys really need to go that early and stop all these places something's gonna happen the day before we got there jail we should we should we should we should actually talk about that continue though we should bring that we should roll back to that um help me out here because i'm gonna forget some oh oh the uh the uh the time jake came in miami and i had to hitchhike home and the guy was like pounding on the door oh yeah yeah yeah that one that was one

by the way gain gain gain shows up, or Gane shows up, and I'm like, we're just going to have a casual Wednesday night, go get wings and beer. Yeah. Call it, crash the place. If anything, we can get a little drunk at your place. We end up going out. Yep.

Surprise, surprise. And Gane, one of the funniest texts he's ever sent me, he goes, dude, I'm halfway through work. My shirt is on inside out and backwards right now, and I just realized it. He was wearing a collared shirt. No, I didn halfway through work. My shirt is on inside out and backwards right now, and I just realized it. He was wearing a collared shirt. I know. I didn't even do that.

That'd be funny if it was, like, your underwear. I'd be like, oh, that's funny. But, like, a collared shirt? He goes, my shirt's on inside out. I'm like, what the fuck, man? No one said anything? Oh, I just thought of one. There's a couple other ones.

There's so many. Madison. And then, like, okay, there's, like like 30 nights where we just come back absolutely torched. I mean, I've had your dad lay into me the morning. Like, I thought like we did nothing the night I think the girls were over. And I woke up and your dad got out working, got done working out. Yeah. And I'm sitting on a chair.

I'm like, I'm still hammered. Yeah. And he's just ripping into me. You're asleep. I'm like,esus christ new year's at your house we were never allowed to have a party at your house again nope but we sent it though that was such an interesting night that was a good night that was such a weird night naked in my bed my mom yeah i'm a girl that was there for 20 minutes she showed up at 3 o'clock in the morning

that was I yeah sometimes just clicks like that you know she came over for a fucking reason wow why am I putting this down

I have so much stupid story well yeah let's talk about your arrest story because I think this is the funniest fucking thing I still to this day Doug does not know really no idea

doesn't know. I think everyone forgot about it. I mean, whatever. It's gone now. I thought, because you called, you're like, we're telling no one. And then 30 minutes into our call right after I picked you up, you told your mom. Oh, I had to. Yeah.

She was the only one I had to call. Yeah. By the way, it takes a while for you to get your money back when you get arrested. Yeah. What did it take? Like six months? It took a while. I remember finally, it was like July.

Dude, I was living with you, and you're like, I just got my money back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we go, let's go out. I go, bye-bye. Dude, but that was just such a day. Like it was like, you know, well well we decided we were like we we stopped in orlando on purpose because we were like let's go to disney or like we did universal and so we decided on universal and then jack was there and you know yeah and his buddy who also worked with

us i'm sorry i forget his name you were like um you're like let's go meet up with him i'm like great let's do it but before that it was like it was like, we planned this thing where it was like, okay, we're going to go on a ride. And then we're going to go get a drink. We're going to go on a ride. And then we're going to get a drink. Because you finished your drink waiting for the ride. Right. And so we were already pretty buzzed at this point.

And then Jack was like, hey, I'm right over here. Come to this show. So we came to this show. He was doing Fear Factor. Yeah, he was in Fear Factor. So we met his buddy or whatever. And then afterwards, he was like, you guys want to go get dinner or something like that?

Like, let's hang out. And we're like, okay, why not? And so then we went to Chili's. Which was disgusting. It was disgusting, but we got like the margaritas and I'm pretty sure I got some big ass blue like drink. Yeah, and I got chicken and waffles and I thought I was going to throw up for most of the night.

Yeah, so at that point, we're drinking all day. Like, exhausted. And then Jack or somebody came up with the idea that was like, hey, let's go out in downtown Orlando. And we're already buzzed. And I'm just like, okay. What was it? Was it UCF?

Yeah, it was UCF. That could be so wrong. And then this is what happened. We go to a gas station. There is no beer. There's no liquor. There's no anything that we can just kind of sip on or anything. What they had was four locos.

Oh, fuck. I forgot we did that. So we get four locos. And I get a tin. And we go back to the hotel. By the way, I remember the name. It was the Loves. Oh, yeah. The Loves Inn Hotel.

Yeah. It was all like, it was a sex dungeon. It was like a couple's thing. Yeah, it was a sex dungeon. Two guys checking, like, do you guys need one bed or two beds? Like, two. We don't need the hard-shaved bed. Yeah, what's his name?

Who's the axe murderer dude? The good-looking one? I don't looking one who's zach efron played ted bundy ted bundy ted bundy ted bundy definitely killed someone there 100 and we we go back and we're like drinking like having a good time playing music and then we go out and i'm feeling great at this point great i don't need to drink anymore i'm doing great we went to a cigar lounge then so you were in your heaven we went to a cigar lounge i was in my heaven i finally got a beer which i was like okay like a beer is not gonna kill me i did those secchies we still have i still have the picture on my phone and i look absolutely trash at this point having a cigar and then we go out and i'm like okay i'm good like i don't need to do

anything and we see i see a girl i know randomly and she's like let's take a shot and i'm like fuck all right let's take a shot take the shot lights out absolutely lights out i can tell you my side of the story then they go we'll go we'll go so then so then i wake up in jail next to a bunch of dudes in like uniforms and i'm still in my clothes from last night just dazed and confused looking around just like absolutely still hammered I'm trying to call Sarah I'm trying to remember your number I can't because I don't know anyone's number at the same time the only people I have is in my head at that point is my sister my mom my dad and my ex-girlfriend from eighth grade because that's how you to remember numbers only one person you can call in that room.

I'm going to call my sister. So then everything plans out. But I'm going to go to Michael's side of the story because he probably saw more than I remember. So start at the bar. Start at the bar. We did the cigar bar. And it was a huge. It was like the Costco size. It was awesome. I mean, like aisles and stuff.

It was a really cool place. I'll go back there. I would too. And I would do Universal again. Not jail. So we go to this bar and we walked in. We're all tired. Like we don't really know if we like, like you and I were like, don't really want to.

It was a long day. Yeah. And we take a shot right when we get there with the whole group. And the bartender there was so attractive. I do remember that. You and I were like, worst day. Because we're going to get the fucking bartender's numbers. Staying forever.

So we end up staying. We don't know one there. forever yeah so you're staying we don't know one there like imagine going to a college campus like in the heyday like in the middle of like football season like a football school you're going to a bar and it's like everyone's having fun and it's just you guys don't know one you don't know someone who goes there you like you don't know one that's how we felt yep and so we're like we're like we need a drink and get more social. We started talking to more people. I go, it's my turn to get shots.

So I go to the bar. I get four Jameson shots. I come back. You guys are gone. And I've gone like hammered. I just don't know where you are. So I'm going like this with shots. And I'm not a tall person so I I'm like trying to find you guys.

I end up taking almost all the shots. I find Jack, give him his, take his buddies. And I'm like, I got one more for Sam. I'm like, Sam's going to want this.

I go back to the bar. I looked to my right. I find you. You look at me. You have never looked more pissed in your life. You're like, fuck you, man. I'm like, what is going on? And then you kind of like snap out of it.

I'm like, do you want this shot? And then you're like, fuck that. I'm like, all right. So I take a third one. Now I, first time ever in my life, think I need to throw up at a bar. So I go. I just rip like four fucking Jameson shots. It's one of those bars where like the garage doors open in the front.

Oh, yeah. I totally remember. I remember the bar. Yeah. And so. Had to pop a shot. Exactly. So I just go around the corner outside and I just quick throw up in the bush.

And I'm like, oh, I'm good. It was just content. I need to get it out. Yeah. Come back. And I'm like, we should probably go. At this point, it's like 1.30 in the bush and i'm like oh i'm good it was just content i needed to get it out yeah come back and i'm like we should probably go at this point it's like 1 30 in the morning i think and i find the other two guys jack and his buddy yep go where's sam and i have your location and so i like oh he's walking down that way i'm like I don't know if he's going with a girl or he's trying to walk home because I don't know where like a hotel was at the time and I was like let's walk here catch him grab an uber so we start like kind of like jogging to you

and I like I check it again like he's still going this way and then I like we'll keep walking like he's going kind of quick and then all of a sudden and then I was like, he's still going this way. And then I keep walking. I'm like, he's going kind of quick. And then all of a sudden I stop. I go, so if we were here and we went this way, the second time I checked, Sam was here. And I go, what the fuck? I'm like, Sam's in an Uber. So I just, I dumbly think I can catch the start sprinting because it's it's busy

and I start sprinting and Sam just location stops and we're with two kids who are probably I think they were underage at the time

or they were one was underage maybe and he so I'm like I'm like where the fuck are you I just see like buildings and I'm like is he'm looking, I'm like, where the fuck are you?

I just see, like, buildings, and I'm like, is he upstairs or whatever? It doesn't say he's, like, in the building. It says he's, like, by the street. And all of a sudden, I look around, and the two kids are across the street. I'm like, help me look for him. They're like, no. I'm like, why? He goes, do you know where we are?

And I look up, and it says correctional facility. I'm like, what the fuck as i see correctional facility you are being escorted out with three other guys in cuffs and i'm like oh shit so right away my head's like oh i've been to this before i'm glad we can laugh about this now before because you're gonna come out of this episode I just did. So Corey, who was just on, was arrested. And for, like, terrible, like, stupid reasons for basically defending. That was a horrible episode. But I was like, I bet this was before with my roommate. And I was like, I know how much it costs to get someone out. It's a horrible thing to know, by the way.

So I go. I go. I wouldn't tell first dates that, by the way. So I go to the cops. And I was like, why is he? What happened? We found him. He's drunk.

He had a beer outside of the, and we can specify that in a bit, but he had a beer outside the bar, open intoxicant. I was like, okay, I'll give you $500 just right now to take him. And they're like, do you want to get in the car with him for bribing a cop i was like i didn't know that far i go i go nope i will see you there and so you get in the car by the way you are livid you didn't even look at me you're just and you get in the car and i imagine you'd say a word the cop car i call the uber and the uber comes as the cop car is pulling out and he goes orange county correctional facility i go comes as the cop car is pulling out. And he goes, Orange County Correctional Facility? I go, just follow the cop car in front of you.

He's like, what? I go, follow the cop car. They drop us off at some weird area. Yeah, I remember that. Because it's a multiple, like, I don't know how the building looks. I was hammered. But I run in in and i go i'm looking for sam walsh and they go dude you are in the wrong part of the jail i go um where do i

go to get someone who is just booked and they go uh across the highway so i have to run across the highway get in i was like uh i'm here for sam walsh you know he just got here like you basically beat him he's like paperwork isn't even fucking done yet i go how long is it gonna take you go um the earliest you can get him is tomorrow morning and i look her dead in the eyes and she's like sweetheart you're not gonna like the earliest you can get him is tomorrow morning i go i will see you tomorrow i went home went to bed Went to our hotel Everyone slept there They got up left early I'm packing all our stuff

So thank god you didn't have your keys But I'm packing all our stuff Put it in the car I'm brushing my teeth and I get a phone call It's from your sister And your sister's like Hey Michael I'm like what what's up?

He goes, where's Sam? I go, he's right here. Why? He goes, is he okay? I go, yeah, he's fine. Why? He goes, Michael, where is he? He goes, he's fine.

Don't worry about it. He goes, Michael, where is Sam? I go, he's fine. Like, I'm just brushing my teeth. He's showering. He goes, Michael, where is Sam? I go, he's in jail. I'm going to get him right now.

Don't worry about it. Goodbye. And she goes, what? I go, don't worry about it. I'll get him. Dude. I got there. T tried to give him my card they're like we what do you think this is the fucking like bar like you need like a money order so like a check or something like that i'm like well i don't have a checkbook so i have to go down to chase bank like can i have a and the chase bank by uh the orangeal Facility was like, they've seen this before.

Oh, yeah. And I go, can I have a $500 money order sheet? I was, I know where this is going. I go, let's not worry about it. Orange County Correctional Facility? Yeah. And I was like, yeah, can I just get a $500 money order? Go, take it.

I was like, all right. Thinking, I give them $ hundred dollars they give me my person they're like all right he'll be ready in three to four hours i go what dude yeah i remember that i can't get a hold of them you don't know my number so i just take your truck down to the parking lot and i just watch netflix on my phone for a while i get a phone call from you when you get out, and I'm like, I see your number. And you go, dude, where the fuck am I? Where are you? And I go, and I see you, and I go, look to your left. I'm in your truck.

Let's go. Because we were supposed to be in Miami five hours, by then. Oh, yeah. No. And you're like, what the fuck just happened? And the pictures I have of you downing water your mugshot oh it's fucking hysterical oh i still got it yeah it's hysterical but you got arrested for the dumbest reason it was like open container oh yeah so they said you had a red solo cup yeah so i got i finally got like my

paperwork and stuff and i was reading it and it said you know mr walsh was taken the night of whatever for open container, a red Solo Cup in his possession with a dark liquid in it. So I don't actually know what happened. But since we were at a bar. What bar serves red Solo Cups? Exactly. What bar serves red Solo Cups? And two, this is when I was chewing a lot back then. Yeah.

So I truly believe that I found a red Solo cup somehow and just had to dip it and was just dipping. For sure. They saw a dark liquid and like, oh, alcohol. Well, didn't it? Fuck this kid. In the description it said he was drinking a Jack and Coke. Yeah, it said a Jack and Coke. You don't know it's a Jack and Coke unless you try it.

Exactly. So I was just like, you know what? Like, I'm dumb. I know that. I'm actually a very smart guy. But, like, when I drink, I'm dumb. But I'm not that dumb. Where I'm, like, taking drinks outside of the bar.

Like, I don't think I've ever done that in my entire life. No matter how blacked out I am or whatever it is, I've never physically like been like i'm gonna take this home no it's not my alcohol i didn't supply it i'm not stealing it that's weird the only thing is like you probably like a cop tried to stop you and i see you i can see you saying something to him or just looking hammered yeah and then the story he had a jack and coke was like because I mean it's your word against his

it's not like yeah it was probably some like you know he didn't get his like number of arrests is that a real thing I don't know

but I'm just gonna go with it yeah cause I believe I was a victim of that yeah you definitely were is that a hate crime hate crime if you're a white guy

no it's not a hate crime dude that was yeah that was wild and I'm pretty sure once we got like i had i didn't speak the entire drive to miami it was only like a three-hour drive yeah i was like i'm driving the whole way i know that didn't speak the entire time and i'm pretty sure your buddy was there in miami remember we like we were at the hotel oh yeah we got to meet Alec Pearl Yeah Pearl was there You Like you Pearl showed up You're like

Yeah you pipe back up And you're like Alright let's just go Well no I was like still pissed And we told him the story And then Pearl was like Threw me a Miller Lite

And I was like Looked at it And I was like I don't really want to drink this And then you're like Sam Just do it dude It's over

Deal with it When you have to Fuck it And I'm like Yeah fuck it Cr dude it's over deal with it when you have to fuck it and i'm like yeah fuck it cracked it open we ended up going out it's fun rest is history not on my record clean as a whistle been cleaning as a whistle since that that night it was so we do baby that night was fun i've told it on here too but that's's when I knew a bunch of the girls down there who were there for a girl's birthday who's from Florida. Yeah, dude, and that's the first time we went to Blackbird too.

Yeah, our favorite bar. We talked about getting like that bird tattoo. I still would do it. I would do it. Is that W&U, by the way? Yeah. Is it for Walsh? It's for Walsh, isn't it?

Sure. That's what I thought. I actually have an eye on you when you're done you got another tattoo no no i mean i always get tattoos i gotta but no i think that's when we knew we're like we can't go downtown miami when we showed up to the girls like birthday party place and yeah it's 500 to get in and we all look to each other like you have to spend it at the bar like in miami we're expecting to have like we're gonna like kind of ball out tonight like five hundred dollars for us three between three of us easy easy to do it they go no per person we're like yeah we'll see you somewhere else yeah and then

i got like i had that list of like whatever my friend sent me like where to go and then we were just like let's go to this black group it ended up being our favorite spot we took everybody there everyone that came we took everybody there everyone that came we took there it was so much fun yeah it was hit or miss like it was a busy night that place was unreal it was daddy like uh it was such a night and day bar like inside yeah was like kind of classy outside was ratchet as dude well the funniest part was we didn't even realize there was a back room like we entered and there was like there was some people were like this is this is all right like i guess like why is this so popping and then we open those doors we're like oh shit okay like yeah

let's fucking party bar just lines the whole place yeah yeah we'll be here the whole night uh what were you gonna say tattoo wise so it's not tattoo wise but i would like to just bring this upon you and i might i might one day we'll see but at work i have uh and i will admit that i've stolen it from you but it's so so good that i uh will give i have given you credit for it but at work i uh people are like, why are you such a douche? And I'm like, well, you know, I ride a fine line between cocky and confident. And you walk the purpose. I was like, dude, every time I say it, I think of you.

And it's so funny because I was just like, I'm not a dick, dude. I'm not a douchebag. I just ride a fine line dude every time like that right there looks cocky but then you just come back with that and i'm just pretty confident myself that's what it is and that's what you need in in especially my world i mean in the world in general if you ride that fine line like and i've taken it since you said it i was like that is so it true. It's so true, dude. One of these days, I want to just send you a picture of it.

I want it just on my tricep of just the line. Would you get walk the line, or would you do fine line? Oh, no. So I do this. I go on the tricep, I go cocky, a line, and underneath would be confident. I like that. I would have no problem with that at all just see that me like just like I'd say it all the time like everybody at work is just like dude man you kind of like not a douche but not a

dick but not like and you're super confident I was like yeah I kind of just like point at it I have no problem taking things like people taking things that I've said or whatever I just just never like, I put mine here. Just don't put it here. You can put it here and I'd be fine with it. Yeah. I like your rose. I would like a rose.

A fucking rose. I was pissed. When you got it, I was like, dude, I've been thinking about getting a rose there forever. And you just came back. I was like, that's what you did with your time off while I was working? Dude, that's another funny story, dude. Yeah, just when I come to visit, it was like right after graduation. Came to visit, and we went out drinking the night before,

and we got lunch, and you're like, yo, Sammy, I got to go open the bar. We open at 2, come by at 2, and we'll hang out. I'm like hang out like okay cool and we're sitting at lunch and you're like what are you gonna do i was like i don't know and i like in the corner in a tattoo in the fucking corner of my eye i just see this tattoo parlor i'm like i don't know and then i just like walking i was like you guys do walk-ins i'm like yeah yeah i was like i want a rose right here on my wrist. And I come back at two o'clock or like 2.30 or whatever,

come in and I'm just like, Michael, I got a tattoo. I was like, Jesus, I wasn't surprised. I was like, that wouldn't have been

my first guess of what you would have done. I was just like, do I want to walk around and do shit or like, I just got a ton of money or whatever from,

oh yeah, a ton of money from graduation and I was just like you know what after you have wanted this thing for a while got this like running list of tattoos that I want that I haven't gotten yet and that was at the top and I was like screw it let's do it there's a couple other ones gonna be episode I break my tooth dude yeah please don't. I almost want you to just go get a bottle opener. At this point now, I've opened all but one.

We are officially at an hour. Keep going. If you want. Let's keep going. I'm going to have fun. I have too. You have fun? Yeah.

Do you want to give a little monologue while I check the temperature on the meats? Yeah, just give me something. This is like. We don't have an ad. Give me a good ad read right now. Yeah, this would be a great ad read. Today, we are sponsored by Travis Matthew and Spotted Cow. They have sent me no money, but they are sponsoring us without their knowing.

Today, we are sponsored by the orange county correctional facility um brought to you by sam's appeal no just a little thing i mean it's been wild wild ride you know being away from being away from mike it's it's kind of sucked brother gotta let you know you know we had some good times we lived together in miami spent a lot of time there uh still my parents don't know about that actually it's kind of crazy so we spent a whole entire year together uh in miami and and Michael slept on my couch. No, he did not want a pull-out bed. He did not want an air mattress.

He wanted my couch, and this was a couch that I did not buy. It was already there. Don't know if they sanitized it at all pre-COVID, but Michael slept on my couch for about nine months. We did have some great times though some fucking funny ass time the best part about that was that we lived on the golf course and we could just go out and just like hit balls the entire time we golfed way less than we should have um oh dude i know well i think that's when we kind of like we're really getting like starting out yeah like we we always would golf but it would be like once a year or like twice a year like it wasn't that much but that was when we were like three times a fucking week yeah i was like dude we live on a golf course we might as well no i i think the last podcast we did before

i left i think the final thing we said to each other was um who do you think this was better for me or you me moving down there and you not being by yourself or you allowing me to leave a place where i was not happy i think it was both and i think we settled on pretty mutual yeah because you know i was down in miami to strictly go for school and work and i was gonna focus on myself and working out but within like a month of being there uh and after you left i was just like man fuck this like i was the only kid at work like i couldn't really like bond with anyone like i went to school once a week like and didn't talk to anyone i was just like school get out of there come back do my own thing and after that dude it got so lonely i was just like man this sucks of there come back do my own thing and after that dude it

got so lonely i was just like man this sucks so you're like yo come live on your couch i was like are you serious and he's like yeah i'm moving down in like a week i'm like i booked a flight literally okay yeah and when you i didn't believe it until you showed up and you're just like i'm here i didn't believe it and i was just like dude you're fucking here and dude it was great we i think it was good for both of us. Like, we pushed each other a lot. We both got into shape. We got into shape, yeah.

It was easier for you. We're able to be more social having, like, I don't shut the fuck up, obviously. Yeah. So, brought a social aspect to it. And I was like, all right, Sam's doing what he wants to do. Time to actually admit that I'm going to do something that I want to do and then i start this the stand up and it was great too because like that that miami trip i don't think either of us will ever forget just because it kind of like molded us to figure out what we wanted to do like you know i wanted to work in sports and events and stuff i

finally got my master's degree and so i was like what's on with the next and then i remember every single day i'd be like yo how was your day you know we catch up after work and you're like i just applied for jobs all day but you weren't applying to things that you like you were just trying to find a job yeah it was like nothing and so that trip when you were staying there it kind of like figured out you're like dude you know what i really want to do is like i want to start you know maybe try stand-up i want to start these podcasts and stuff like that. I was like, that's great. Let's do it. Let's sit down and do it.

And we got pissed drunk. And we didn't do it the right way. We didn't do it the right way, but we did it. And I honestly do think that, you know, it was best for both of us. I also do think that you should, if you're bored one day and don't have any people in here, you should just release that thing. Just fucking release i think what i'm gonna i think what i'm gonna do is so i when i did tending a list i created a patreon at braxton i because braxton i never drank when we did these and now i drink just like it's it's a casual this is probably more than i've had in a while during an episode

um but it's just like what we do every... It's like a Friday thing. So I was like, I created a Patreon. I was like, every drunk, drunk episode, like I basically call it any Sam Michael episode. My voice is getting worse. We would release to the Patreon and I would just build a bank.

And I'd be like, if someone really wants to watch me be a fool, $5 a month kind of thing, I think eventually when I have, because I am trying to figure out what I want to do for something like that, just those will be on there. Yeah, just get a poll going.

Do you want to see like vintage first me trying to figure out how the fuck I'm going to do this and needing to be blacked out to do it? Dude, yeah, just get a poll going. Be like be like all right who wants to see the unedited version of sam and michael's first podcast ever uh and to be honest they probably suck dude honestly i i remember the only thing i remember us talking about is our top 10 we did we all time albums we did all time albums all time all time country out which i think is still to this day. All-time albums. We do the all-time albums. All-time country albums. Which I think is still to this day an all-time idea.

That's a great idea. Because I would love, that's another like, I'm such an idea person, I think, and I can't obviously execute half the big picture ideas out of a garage right now, but can you imagine having an all-time album concert? Oh, yeah. Those are the people who are going to be in your concert series. Are you kidding me? Are you doing songs? but can you imagine having like an all time album concert like oh yeah like those are the people

who are going to be in your concert series are you kidding me are you doing songs or just people people just people be like

country thunder be like Thursday's going to be this this and this Friday's going to be this this and this but even if even if you're like

hey I want to put on a concert you guys have to you have to perform like two songs max maybe and it's just like two songs yeah

and like everyone comes out like dude how fun would that be that logistically doesn't make sense but like do a concert series something like that but like that's kind of where like the all-time album stemmed from i was like i well we also just needed content to talk about yeah yeah we were i remember we were uh because you brought up the idea of like doing a podcast and i was just like you know what that's a great idea like you and i listened to so many like we were just like all this stuff and i remember we were watching uh two bears one cave and we were like we should just do that you know we should just sit us to shoot the shit maybe bring up a topic every now and then or whatever and then we were just like all right we need something because we couldn't think about anything because we

we were together we were trying we were trying too hard yeah yeah we were trying like, all right, we need something. Cause we couldn't think about anything. Cause we, we were together. We were trying, we were trying too hard. Yeah. Yeah. We were trying too hard and we were, we were together all the time. So it was like, we've already talked about it. And so we're like,

oh, let's do the album stuff. So we did the album stuff and it was great. And then we went on to other stuff afterwards. And I remember we were, got more drunk at that point, but there was a point where we were just like, we should just,

we should just shoot the shit. Yeah. Like just shoot the shit and have a great time and like, just and i think that would just work yeah i mean don't get me wrong shooting this shit is great there needs to be like some structure to it um we've had zero structure today and it's worked fantastic it's fine yeah and i think what makes i mean there are so many podcasts exactly like this um it just has to be like, oh, does my personality resonate with more people than others? But no, I was listening to actually Two Bears, One Cave or some other podcast. And so the girl was like, listen, obviously you need a catch to your show.

I don't know what this is yet. I'm still very young with it. But he goes, listen, if it's just you and Kyle. It's almost a good thing like you and i aren't doing it all the time because like yeah like if it's just you and kyle and your basement like and you're just like what you do today and we knew that right away like this isn't gonna fucking work no yeah so it's nice that i have new people all the time yeah no that's great too especially those like people you know you know people people you're close to here's some different

different stories from their aspect, you know, what they're seeing in life. From a business standpoint, like I now will probably get on a low, low end. I don't know. A few more followers,

subscribers, or like listeners just cause they're friends with you. They're like, Oh, Sammy did an episode here. Let's go follow this. Maybe like we thought it was funny. Do it. And like new, new audiences Sammy did an episode here. Let's go follow this. Maybe like we thought it was funny. Do it.

And like new audiences every time, which is cool. I mean, fuck the Joey Baumgart episode, the last one. Yeah. I was thinking, and no offense to Joey at all, I was like, all right, this is going to be like, I wanted Joey on 100%. I was like, all right, this is just going to be like another average episode or just like alright every Wednesday to this man I mean I love this

man to death he was and I appreciate the people come on and then promote it themselves he did a fantastic job I mean he's the first thousand several thousand view TikTok I have he's approaching to be the number one YouTube video I have I mean the idea

i mean i think it came at perfect timing too like the barstool athlete thing is happening and like i just released me sponsoring him at the perfect time i totally thought it was a joke by the way when i first saw it i was just like ha making fun of barstool or whatever because i think that's a fucking hilarious thing oh it's hilarious that barstool is just like i'm gonna you're a barstool athlete you're getting you're to get a t-shirt and a sweatshirt maybe. And then you're, I mean, because how many athletes do they have now?

Every athlete. I've been asked. They're all the hottest, hottest women ever. Exactly. I've been asked by five or six people now since. And I get what you're doing. Like, I have nothing against these guys that have asked me. Like, can I be the next Fat Chance athlete?

And it's like, I mean, why are you doing this? Like, it's just promoting. For Barstool, I think they're kind of just promoting their brand. They're being smart, don't get me wrong. Yeah. I didn't do, like, it's not a joke. I promoted Joey. I love Joey to death, and I will promote him for the rest of the year.

I told him, like told him listen everything I make from here on out that you want it's yours I would ask you to sponsor me but that would be like you're sponsoring

an AA meeting that's just stupid I've thought about that I said I think it'd be funny and so Cody Gessner I was talking to her

two nights ago so she has the passwords to all my media accounts sure and even though I don talking to her two nights ago. So she has the passwords to all my media accounts. Sure. And even though I don't send her, she was supposed to run it,

but I don't send her anything right now. But she goes, do you know this kid? The first person I was like, can I be the next Fat Chance Athlete? Yeah. And I go, no.

She goes, but we're expanding into audiences. That's great. I was like, other audiences. I'm like, that's great that's great i was like other audiences i'm like that's great yeah i was like but i was like i don't know if i want to like sponsor this because i don't want to be barstool yeah hell yeah cody manager of the year right there i don't want to want to be barstool she goes why not like not why not bars i was like why not sponsor him i was like well one it's not like i just have plenty i don't have like money rolling in you don't want to be a

copycat yeah i don't want to be a copycat. Yeah, I don't want to be a copycat. So I was thinking, I think the sponsoring idea is kind of fun, but I think it'd be more fun if we just started sponsoring random professions. So I have one athlete. I have one athlete. And then if I go to my friends in Chicago, I'm like, these are my six fat chance investment bankers.

Yeah, this is my fat Fat Chance investment bankers. Yeah. This is my Fat Chance sponsor. Events manager. Stylist. Hairstylist. We have an events manager. And we're going to go into construction soon. Big announcement. We have port-a-potty managers.

All right? These guys work harder than you think. All right? I think that would be hysterical. I'm going to sponsor both the Bomb Guard boys so they can have... What the fuck? I will give them whatever the fuck

they want. Anything I make t-shirt wise. I've already made the sweatshirts for them. But then I think I'm just going to... Steven can come on and be like, he's my first fat chance construction worker. You want to be my first fat chance event manager? Get it like a logo right on the side of his hard hat.

I'm going to get stickers and just like throw it everywhere. And I think that's where I'm going to go. Like, it's just going to be like marketing. No one does that. Yeah. Go where people have never gone before. I just don't want to like, that's the thing. It's like, why not if like

the Joey thing took off it's like I didn't start doing this because I wanna be Barstool by any means

and by by no means am I ripping on Barstool I respect that shit like they they're smart like they're doing yeah

they're obviously killing it it's Barstool Suarez but that's the last thing I wanna be is Barstool. No, you want to do something different. I mean, and that's what my mom says too. She says all the time.

She's like, you know what you should do, Sam? You should, you would kill it if you would start a company. And I was like, I would love to. Yeah, I want you to. But I always stop. I still think we will do one at some point. Yeah, but I always stop at the point where it's like, yeah, I would love to. But what am I going to do that's different?

That's the hardest part. Exactly. What am I going to do that's different? Because it always feels like everything's been done, and clearly it hasn't. There's always something new every day that's like, oh, I mean, like different golf brands and stuff like that. It's like, shit, there's so many other brands that are doing it. It's like, all right, yeah, but who's better at promoting brands and stuff like that. It's like, shit, there's so many other brands that are doing it. It's like,

all right, yeah, but who's better at promoting it? Stuff like that. I could see you and I'd like to be a part of it like doing, I think it'd be fun

like a golf brand or just like a, like a street wear kind of thing. Yeah. I think it'd be real fucking fun. I mean, I've thought about it. I mean,

I still think I need a couple years of like knowledge before I do that. I agree. I agree with both of us. But I'm making the right steps, dude. I'm going to wing it. Winging it's fun, isn't it? I mean, seriously, dude, this decision I'm making next week is going to be the riskiest

and the most challenging but the most fun like you're gonna love it i think thing i've ever ever done in my life it's very risky like i do not know if i will make it but yeah but it's worth it i think it is i think it is how many good things happen for being safe all the time nothing nothing you have to risk it and if you're smart about it you can do it and if you're not then try somewhere else dude like that's what it is like make the jump i've seen so many people that like as soon as they fail they're like i can never do it again that's it i'm done i'm gonna try a different profession but it's just like you can't do that because that's that's where you lose that's where you become a loser and you're not most of the people that we know most of the people that we love they will do that and it's like dude just keep going like there are so many opportunities out

there you will find one and you just have to you just have to do it like that's what i'm doing right now i think uh the best way i've like put it or i was like i think you just have to accept that your initial vision of how things are going to work out probably isn't going to happen oh so like if i want to do this stuff like i thought when i started one in your apartment i was like this is just gonna like take. I've done three different versions now. Yeah. I mean, it's the same thing, dude. I graduated thinking like, all right, I'm going to go get my master's degree. That was always the plan. And then like, I'm going to have a job after school. I'm going to be able to like start in a administrative position somewhere and, you know, college athletics or, you know know professional because that's all my background's from and i'm i'm working in fucking uh golf apparel i had no idea that i

would be here and now all i want to do is create and be a part of a brand that i can just rock it into outer space yeah and just be the next humongous thing it's kind of fun watching things grow it's it's wild though like especially like if you ever like stopped and like looked back and like dude remember when i was an intern at like this shit and you're just like and you were dressing up as obi the orange and i was taking pictures of you yes people remember that right now i was a mascot i was a giant orange i could not speak and only could give high fives and wave yeah my first media job was taking my first media job was taking pictures of you on my cell phone to do that like we could see you behind the mask you're not really obi the

orange we're like no shit yeah you're not really obi the orange i'm like fuck you kid get going where's your parents you take the shit off. You're like, that fucking sucked. You go, that was funny as shit for me, man. Dude, they were trying to hit you. The kids were like, dude, they were kicking me. They were kicking me. You're not the real thing. Did you think an actual orange was going to come out on the fucking field?

Yeah, a giant orange. I was just like, dude. That was hysterical. You're not the real thing. Left with bruises. They're punching me. I'm like, the next day at work they're like

so how'd they make it I was like huh great Michael had fun fantastic yeah it was great we got some great pictures Michael will send them to you

thank you and that was it that was hysterical oh that was hysterical alright here let's uh where are we at we're at 117

I'm actually gonna wrap this we'll hang out afterwards let's7. I'm actually going to wrap this. We'll hang out afterwards. Let's do that. But we're going to... I wrap it now with this last question. Yeah, let's do it. For season two. So, I don't know how many episodes you've listened to this last season.

But after Andrew's episode right before I turned 25 sure like before I turned 25 I said I need to make sure I'm doing stand up yeah

and so I went and did it I was like that's just a bucket list thing I need to do it like just admit like you want to do it so you do it I haven't looked back

I love it since great so I'm asking everyone that's been on Sense, besides my brother, who I think his goal is just like, I want to get fucked up before I'm 22. Before you turn 26, if it's reasonable, or in the year of 26, what is something you have to do? Ooh.

Damn. I can give you what other people said if you want to help you. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. Because I think it's all about who you are. I know, but if you have to think about it, I can give you. If you want to go different avenues, I can give you. So what is something that I want to do before December 28th, 2021?

Exactly. To be honest, I want to... This is something that's been on my bucket list for a while is um i want a home as weird as that sounds i want a home so to elaborate on that i've moved so much you want to feel settled like i'm gonna be here for like two three years yeah yeah man like every single time you know i do something you know since graduating college moved to chicago back to wisconsin then to miami then arizona now i'm in california like this is all in like a four year span and like i'm just like every single day i wake up and i'm just like i don't really know if this is a home like i don't know if i'm

gonna be here in six months or two days you know that's what makes it so difficult for me to like settle down like find you know go on dates like you don't know where you're gonna be yeah something like that like go on dates like flirt like all this stuff like it's basically just irrelevant to me at this point because there i could leave tomorrow and i'll just be like left somebody in the dust and i just don't want to do that so that's what i want to do for i'm 26 i want to find a home establish that so i can be you know the next best thing by the time i'm 30 that's what we're going with i think that's a good way to end it yeah i am i will clip rest these and I will hold you to it. Cheers, buddy.

Love you. Love you too.