Fat Chance Podcast - Ep.36 - Ethan Kaschak

Episode Date: November 11, 2021

You ever meet someone who prefers being at the bottom? Meet Ethan! Oh ya, he has a Sugar Momma too!

and I think an absolute pleasure yeah welcome this is the most hectic start I've ever had not hectic start but I've seen worse cheers buddy you know they serve these camo cans at the bar like the bar I was at today i gotta turn this around i can make sure your guy that likes to look at yourself hey oh 100 look at me that is what it is i get it you're a good looking guy um i didn't mean it that way i just meant i'm kind of douchey um but it's gonna be a long day it's gonna be a long night No That's fine That's fine I can't find apple anywhere Apple Anywhere

The Bush apple That's Do you really want one Do you have one Let me make a phone call Upstairs real quick So Does your brother have some

My brother has about Nine cases So does Casey Yeah Casey's got like Ten cases Like I don't understand it

They taste like shit Hibernated in his place They taste I don't like them You don't like them No Sorry Bush I'd still love you to sponsor me But It's They're not my favorite They're so good cases like I don't understand it they taste like shit they taste like I don't like them you don't like them no sorry Bush I'd still love you

to sponsor me but it's they're not my they're so good I'm not a sugary drink person they're so good but he

Steven like he was ahead of the curve he thought and he's like he has like eight of them in his room he probably backsells them

and well he hasn't sold a single one there's still eight in his fucking room and he's had these for like three months. He probably backsells them and makes a nice little profit on them.

Probably around Christmas time he could sell them for like 50. Okay, so just make 20 a thing. They're so good. They're not that sweet. They're not reds. Yeah, so I like them better than reds for sure, but I'm just not a sugary drink person. I don't even think they taste that sugary.

No, yeah. What I'm saying is, can you drink person. I don't even think they taste that sugary. No. Yeah. What I'm saying is, can you imagine, like, we are downtown Milwaukee. And before I get here. $8?

No, but like, do you expect to see that at a bar, even downtown Milwaukee? Absolutely not. Never. I forgot to close this. Usually I have the garage half closed so people don't look in and they're like,

oh. That's fine, we'll wave. We'll say hi. Good people. When I set this up, I've said this so many times, but it looked people like walk by and I'm like, are you shooting like a porno in here? And so, you know Chad Fry, right?

Yeah. He gave me the idea. He goes, dude, you should just put a couch at the edge of the garage and put casting couch so it's facing out and just see how many guys walk by like dads not many dads in a neighborhood you probably have over here so many two neighbors down

they have this mannequin in their garage a mannequin in their garage just female mannequin wigged out it's really weird everyone that drives by like my friends that have come and done this before and the garage is open like if we do during the day they're like who the fuck is the creepy girl standing in the garage just a walking past

and you just see a full-ass female mannequin yeah and so like i want to i want to ask the neighbor like can i borrow mandy um borrow Mandy? Mandy the mannequin. And I'll just sit her so, like, it looks like I have a female have casting couch in the back. And I'll just do a solo show, like, Kuski's casting couch. Like Bang Bros? Basically, like Bang Bros. You know, it's like, oh, yeah, fuck it. Hey, you're all right.

By the end of the episode, I feel like. Kuski's casting couch. I mean, it has a good ring to it. It does, yeah. I'll give you that. It's either I'm doing that or I'm going to start doing a solo show. Like Bang Bust, that has a good ring to it. There's some alliteration to it.

Cusky's Casting Couch does have a good ring. I'll give you that. There's an alliteration to it. It was either going to do that or I was thinking about doing a solo show. Because it's so easy to edit a solo show. I can do it and then just upload it right away because i don't have to cut between things and i was just gonna i was gonna record it monday i just be like michael's monday on tuesday and i'll just release it on tuesday michael's

i'm just still thinking like kuski's casting coach you could have full-on like production in here i could we got a lot of room i do a lot of room it's a long garage it is it is like people don't understand like this is a two-car garage it's not skinny it's just long yeah it's a long skinny it's not thick heard worse long skinny hey i think dude my mind has been so penis oriented since i bought that costume all right listen all right we have to bring up the last episode i i cried i cried literally hands down the best episode i've ever done it was up there it's also it was up there it's probably one of the hardest i've ever laughed at one of your episodes and sam and sam's first time on here has the most views that was insane it was insane

because of his arrest story well this one i I mean, like you and me know that. Like, it's nothing. Oh, yeah. Oh, Mr. Popular over there. But this one, I promise you, is way funnier. Oh, no, it made me cry. I cried. It's one of those episodes where I feel like you actually get fans from it.

Shout out Sam Walsh. Yeah. But he's just said that. He's just like, like blood type. And I literally said, I cried in my car. Well, it's everyone's favorite. That's probably one of the best one-liners I've ever heard. Oh, yeah.

Sam and I's favorite might be the hamster one. Because knowing him, he had no idea what you meant. He was genuinely serious. No, he was 100% serious. He had no idea what you meant. He was genuinely serious. No, he was 100% serious. He had no idea. That's exactly what I was going for with that asking for a friend question. That was like mine. When I created asking for a friend, it's simply as a joke. They're like honest questions that no one really knows the answers to.

But his is like a legit, hey, I'm asking for a friend. What does blood type mean? He was scared. Oh, yeah. He was scared. He was scared. Do you really want to asking for a friend what does blood type mean he was scared oh yeah he was scared he was scared do you really want to know what my ideal person's blood he was like he was like dude like what what if i answer this and then like she shows up oh and here i am just sitting in my car in a fucking apartment parking lot i'm like sam just fucking answer the question dude like it's fine he panicked he was he was so like three times three times it was out there when he

I finally was like the old young one made me die too I was like when you pan him like right now you want a you want a milf

that likes waffles who you compare to donkey from Shrek there's nothing wrong with that yeah nothing nothing wrong with that at all

but yeah it's uh better discriminate sorry oh no he did well like i i maybe i gave him credit for one of his uh answers i was like oh look at you not discriminating i think it was a um oh high body count high experience versus low body count low experience uh hey i was in the same boat with him yeah i'll give that would you would you agree i don't know I think I'm too I would probably say higher but I don't want to also hear about it either

So there's a there's a saying you don't ask questions. Yeah, I don't know the answer It's gone. But I People are still like it's in their head and it's gonna haunt them So I get where people like I still don't know if I want to do that or beer comes in the handy and you just don't even think about it it comes in handy or all of a sudden you say something like fuck that shouldn't come out that's usually where I'm at with alcohol I'll give you that there's nothing wrong with that that should maybe crack up oh it was I love that I end the episode right on so do you think they know we're high?

Basically, he goes, well, they do now. Okay. So like I didn't know you were high until I actually pulled up the YouTube video. Yeah. I pulled up the YouTube video. And within a half second, I knew you were high. You can tell he is. Because there's rare times that I see you high. Yeah.

And I saw you high. And I was like, oh, yeah. He's toasted out of my mind. Well, I even said like towards the end, I'm like, I'm hitting people I'm hitting how was it out there quick time. How was it? I love it It was this beautiful out there. It's nice. It's one of those places. We're like, okay, so it's beautiful I've talked about moving to Miami and Sam's parents don't know I so I flew down there Friday and Sam was in California.

So, I had... Does that fucker just move around everywhere? Well, no. So, he was going to a Grateful Dead concert with his friend Abby. So,

he drove to California Friday morning when I flew down and came back Saturday morning. Okay. And so, he's like,

um, just crash at the house. I'll see you Saturday morning. Okay. And so he's like, just crash at the house. I'll see you Saturday morning. I'm like, cool. It's one of those times where like, and I went down there. I was like, I'm going to try and do a comedy spot down there. I'm going to do some standup down there. Did you do it?

Dude, it was so far away to get a spot on Friday. Really? And the Uber was like 70 bucks. I'm like, $140 for four minutes. I can't even imagine when Ubers are here. And I didn't know. And it was a bucket mic. So a bucket mic basically means like you put your name in.

Yep. And they just pick it. So I was like, I'm not spending $140 to maybe get on for four minutes. Fuck that. No, it's horrible. So I pull up to this house

and I look at my Uber driver. I'm like, well, it pays to be friends with people's parents who are making a decent living. Dude, this house is beautiful. Who,

Sam? Hats off to the Walshes. Oh my God, this house. It's one of those houses where you're like, you watched the draft, and you saw that like,

Cliff Kingsbury, the Cliff Kingsbury like picture. That's his house. That, I think Cliff Kingsbury rented out the Walsh household. I love Sam, but I hate him as well. He's beautiful. I'll give him that.

But that sucks. Good for him. It's a big enough house. It was so nice. And I very appreciate him. Let me stay there. But big enough where I'm like, I'm lonely right now. I didn't know which room to hang out in.

That was it. Yeah, exactly. So I would walk into a place like that and I would take probably 30 seconds and I would be like, this is way too nice of a house for me to be in. I was like, I'm just going to sleep out on your fucking patio.

I felt like, because I went down there to do- I'll call it a day. Like to do the podcast and do some comedy. Who the fuck is it? I was like. Dude, people are pulling up for the cast. In my head, I was like, oh my God, comedy's working out.

And I just pull up to this nice Airbnb. But. FYI, this shit sucks. What is that? Speedway coffee. Couldn't find a quick trip. I need some caffeine. I mean, we have espresso in there.

Right. I mean, it's not bad. I mean bad i mean as i had a long ass day what's in here we have hazelnut creamer it's dark dark roast coffee and five shots of expresso that's fucking i mean i'm running out 45 minutes of sleep fair and I mean that Okay see Like this is why I wanted to come on here today Because like I almost When I

When we Conversed earlier I was like Is there any slight chance You want to do it Can we take a time How fucked were we Last weekend

Last Oh my god Fucked I was hammered That was bad Every time I go out for a game day It's so bad

Well I Thank god It's so bad. Well, I thank God. It's so bad. Thank God we took the bus back. And then I just like sobered up on the bus. I fucking went home at 5.30 and I slept until 5.30 a.m. the next day. I felt so, so bad for you. When I saw your snaps in the morning, you're like, back to work.

I'm like, fuck that. I wanted to die. I would have like. I wanted to die. I would have ran head first into whatever heavy i literally went to bed at 5 30 a.m woke up at like it was like 6 15 i had two missed calls from my boss already at that time and i was like this fucking sucks yeah i couldn't imagine but i i love it hey hey i can't imagine i can't believe you like living in Green Bay I love it it's tough because like I've like I've thought about it multiple times

like like yeah would I rather live here I do like living down here it's fun there's more people it's I feel like you gotta find your gems I know but like how long have you lived in Green Bay if you lived there during Packer season... Only two months, and I...

Yeah, so you've lived there basically for Packer season. That's all I care about. Done. Yeah, I know, but when it's over, I feel like... Well, then it's golf. It's golf. Yeah, fair, I guess.

Speaking of Packers, I guess we should turn your car off and... Oh, come on. For the good. The good people. I think we're gonna have the same take on this, but do you care at all that Rodgers has COVID? Dude.

I couldn't give a flying fuck. The fact that this is a thing. Did you listen to his interview? Yeah, the Pat McAfee one? Yeah. Loved it. Every second of it. It was calm.

That's the biggest thing for me. Slight aggression, I would say. A little bit of... I don't blame him. It was calm. That's the biggest thing for me. So it's like. Slight aggression, I would say. A little bit of. Because you're. I don't blame them. Do you blame them? No.

Yeah, absolutely not. I wouldn't either. Because literally the mob came after him. They were fucking dude. You had good morning America. Fucking ESPN. Stephen A was like, he should be suspended. For what? For making a personal decision about your health?

Oh my God. So like I'm sitting there and like I'm texting my dad about it, because, like, me and him just talk about, like, shit like that. Yeah. And we're just like, why are people this mad about it? He's not the only unvaccinated NFL player. Like, what the fuck? So, when Lazard was ruled out last week,

why did nobody make this big of a deal about it? Because he's on vaccine. Because he didn't have it. He only had close contact. As soon as the shit came out with Aaron Rodgers is ruled out, I knew instantly he was on vaccine. Because you have like that 10-day, 3-day, back-to-back date. When they're like, oh, could he make it back?

Dude, it's so stupid. He is LeBron James of the NFL because he's so scrutinized for being outspoken. It's bad. It's bad. We might be biased because we're Packers fans, but I also like— I try and take that shit out of it, too. I do, too. But it's like, it's bad.

I agree with his statements. Like, listen, it's it's your own personal health. Dude, he was spitting facts. If you're telling... He was spitting facts that whole interview. He was boom, boom, boom, boom. And then you still went online after and they were still torching him for it. And I'm just like, all right, I get it.

You guys have... You got to keep your job. You have to have something to talk about. It is what it is. But fuck. Dude, get off the guy's ass is only thing that from a pr standpoint from a personal standpoint i loved hearing it because i'm also a fan of oh yeah he said he consulted with things i'm a fan of him i i feel i feel like this past like year two years like have you felt the same way where it's just like i've become more of a fan of him i've never hated him even

like no no no no never never never like i said this to hylman today by the way hylman happy birthday if you watch this this far and happy birthday buddy we love you um i don't like but i said i was like time are we going out for his birthday after this yeah I like I like Rodgers because he is a little they're like he's direct

and people view him as a little bit of an ass Jake goes it's because you can relate I need that type of asshole in my quarterback yeah I need that

here's the thing is we pick and choose who's allowed to have that mentality everyone likes Michael Jordan. This dude released a, what, six-part documentary ousting a bunch of people. And they fucking claimed him as his king.

And being confident. Yeah, yeah. Yet someone who you aren't as... Educated with. Educated with. Or because, you know what, Rodgers hasn't won three more Super Bowls, he can't get away with as much, which is dumb.

If Brady was unvaccinated, but because he's won seven Super Bowls. Oh, my God. I can't even imagine. You kidding me? They'd be like, you know what? This man cares about his health, and we get his decision, stuff like that. The thing that sticks out to me, it's like, all right, so you're not going to say anything to Brady. Like, okay, as much as I hate Tom just because he's that good.

Like, he's one of those guys. It's not a hatred. You're like, you're just, you're bothered because he's fucked up all our shit. Exactly. Like, a guy that good, he literally has his own company investing into his body. Yeah. Like, why, like, what if he wasn't, okay, vaccinated? Yeah.

Like, why? Also, we don't even know. We might. We might. I'm saying that like, yeah. Genuinely, it wouldn't surprise me

if he wasn't. Because it seems like one of those guys is like, dude, like I. He's into crypto. He's doing commercials.

He was like, he was just like, oh yeah, fuck it. Like I deal with my, dude, he's one of those guys with like Russ

where they put millions of dollars into his body. Russ is like a million plus a year into his body. Yeah, that's what he said. He can't fix those you see him fingers though did you see him fucking doing fake fucking drills on it so dumb i was like my dad i was like dude i was just like imagine that and he was just like all right like i get it like you know like a quarterback he was like but jesus christ you're fucking sitting on the field, like,

and make drills. There's probably a science for it, but I don't. I've had, like, a joke about that. Like, some people try a little too hard to be, like, too athletic and, like, seem that they're. Can you imagine being that athletic? I am. I just choose not to be in the NFL.

Okay. I'm also 5 to be in the NFL. Okay. I'm also 5'8", 110 pounds. If I was in the NFL, if I was any position in the NFL, I'd be a placeholder or the kicker. Shit, dude. To be honest, I don't even think I'm big enough to do that. Did you know that longstampers make like fucking 600 grand a year? Well, yeah, there's a minimum. I think it's 750.

I was going to say, it's something like that. Shit, I wouldn't mind that. I could fucking long snap to that. I don't think you're allowed to get hit as a long snapper either. No, you're allowed to. I mean, they're coming right at you. But no, initially,

you can't hit once they initiate a hit. Off the whistle, yeah. Jesus, boys. Dude, there was something else I wanted to say about the Rodgers thing. I don't even want to know

We can't be on that too long though like it's it's just dumb it's stupid i hate it oh this is it this is how you know it's people argue that it's you're not vaccinated because you're hurting the or you're putting people at risk that's that's everyone's the worst excuse I've ever heard. It's a dumb excuse. And you know what? When he laid out what he's done for protocol and stuff, and he's not allowed to, if he tested negative

and everyone else is vaccinated and you can't be in the same room, that makes no sense. What you're vaccinated to protect against, I don't have. Why can't I be a part of this club? It's dumb. But this is how you know it's politics over health. It is anyone. I mean, anyone in Good Morning America, ESPN, whatever,

have been like, Rogers, I hope you're healthy. I hope you feel okay. I hope this doesn't do anything to you. Not one has been like, you have to hear that except for Pat. Pat is the only one that says disease that apparently is so deadly for everyone. And you know what? It has been detrimental to a lot of people. I get that.

But that's what you consider this fucking worst thing that's ever happened to the human population. You not want to be like, Hey, as a human, are you okay you okay no it's like listen you fuck face you're not vaccinated you it's basically that's all it is people and it and i'm in the same boat as you people who have covid we're treating them like they got chlamydia yeah like listen stay the fuck away from me you dirty motherfucker nothing but if you treat him like chlamydia. No, no, for real. No, that's how it is.

Nothing a little in and by Alex and some time off won't do. No, I mean, it sucks. Okay, then we'll cut this after here. Because, like, it sucks that it's taking over everything. The fact that it's Aaron, like, it's my quarterback. All right? Like, he's one of those guys where it's just like, if that's my quarterback, I love him until I die. Like, until he he's one of those guys where it's just like, that's my quarterback. I love him until I die. Like until he leaves fine.

But it's like, I've yet to hear anybody except for Pat say like, Hey, are you doing all right? How's your symptoms? Blah, blah, blah.

But then other than that, it's you're wrong. You're wrong. You're wrong. And I'm just like, you should be suspended for lying. And then we found out later he, uh,

we do need to end this, but he's like, Hey, the to end this, but we found out later that he's like, hey, the league knew, the Packers knew, every one of my team knew. Everybody fucking knew. No one lied.

I just like, that's like, if I had a family tragedy and I didn't tell you and you asked me one day like, hey, are you doing okay? And I was like, yeah, I'm doing great.

And then you found out like a month later that like something happened. Like you doing okay? And I was like, yeah, I'm doing great. And then you found out, like, a month later that, like, something happened. Like, you fucking lied to me. I hate you. You piece of shit. It was like, no, I didn't fucking know. No. Like, it's not even that I didn't know.

It's like, this isn't none of your business. Yeah. Exactly. Whatever. I had a, I had a, all right, we'll cut it after this. I had a. You said that after every statement. So, like, I had a feeling after that Arizona

game, I was like, we're riding high. I was like, this... Something's going to crash down. It's going to be the Chiefs who are already at the bottom. It always does with dogs. It's going to go like this. It sucks. Everything always comes to that middle point where you're just like, pop.

That's what it is. Still my quarterback you gotta find you just hope you you end the season on the right side of the line um they will i'll give them that i think we will i i said it last year too but um i actually i did like your comparison to blue balls i think that was with ryan right yeah you should have heard my comparison last night on stage i thought i compared I think Rodgers is the big dick of the NFL. Oh, 100%. He definitely has the largest cock.

I'll say it with confidence. You want to hear me out on this one? I would love to. This is going to be good. Do you want another one? I've got to finish that up close. Stretch out. There's something special, and I've got to work on this.

When we played Arizona, by the way, like, we had no Devontae. No nobody. No Lazard, no MVS, no Bakhtiari, no Jair, no Zedarius, and a few other people. Yeah, no nobody. We had nobody. That's like if you and I are out at a bar

and we watch one of our buddies go up to a girl, like an absolute 10. And he goes, listen, I got no hair, no teeth. I'm 5'3", no personality. I live at home with my mom, and I'm going to cry after sex. But I got a big dick. But I have a fucking nine hogger. That's Rogers.

Rogers is a big dick. And as all of his friends were like, listen, if she past if she can look past the you can look past the sex surprise who's asking him every single thing before that then she's gonna have a good night because he's got a big dick now fast forward to this week i can't even imagine fast forward to this week our dick like i said has chlamydia okay so we need a different dick this dick dick, on paper, and this team, because we have people back. On this team, we have Devante back. We have Lazard back. We have MVS back this week.

MVS back. Our quarterback is a first-round pick. On paper, we look good. Quick timeout. Do you like him? Who? Jordan Love? We'll see.

After this week. Love Shaq. So on paper, we look good. Okay? Yeah. Okay? So all the outside analysts, the girls, are like, he's got a chance.

Because you know what? That person in real life, that person in real life, he's a 6'3 guy. He's 6'3, he's got a beard, tattoos, loves his mom, not too much. No, he doesn't sling. That's the thing. No, he doesn't slang. That's the thing. Loves his mom not too much.

He's got slang. No, no, no, no, no. Hear me out. This guy with Jordan Love. No offense, Jordan Love. I hope you do well. And I hope you're a grower, not a shower. Love you, Jordan.

6'3". He's got a dog. Job. Lives at home. Loves his mom not too much. Tattoos. Tattoos. Beard. Kind of muscular.

Okay? Okay. But he's got a micro penis. Tattoos. Beard. Kind of muscular. Okay. Okay. But he's got a micro penis. That's where we're at. Because we don't have Rogers. So listen. You were so quick to switch that.

He is. So on paper he looks good. But we care so much about that. So in the organization we know our buddy is sporting a cocktail weenie. So when it's fourth and one in the fourth quarter, and he whips out his Kyler Murray. I'll take micro. He's throwing the interception.

No, I'll take micro. I got faith in micro. Really? I truly do like him. Would you rather as a guy, actually this is a dumb question. Oh, Jesus Christ. Would you rather just get shut down right away or flirt with a girl the entire night and you guys get in trouble? Oh, 100% just shut down right away. And you rather just get shut down right away or flirt with a girl the entire night

and then you guys get in? Oh, 100% just shut down right away. And you go back home and nothing happens. No, shut down right away. Exactly. Instantly. Instantly. That's a word.

Hey, can I call you back? I'm in the middle of a podcast right now. Yeah, you're right. Big business. Big business. Hi, Sam. I can just hear his voice. Okay. For for everyone Chad fried

you shot a buck tonight how bad yeah yeah you shot one tell him to send me it because I was throwing I got you up to the microphone Tom I was throwing everybody on the story go ahead Jen how big was find him. But I hit him good. I hit him good. He hit him good. He said he hit him good. I hurt him. I hurt him. I couldn't find him, so you're out. Okay. What time?

Because I might come join you. Is he going out tonight? Okay. I might not join you then. I was going to say, he just shouted here. There's no way he comes out tonight. Ethan Kashuk. BBD.

All right. Well, all right. I got to finish this. I'll call you afterwards. All right. See you, buddy. This guy loves big business calls. Oh, Chad Shutterbuck. My dad's going to go help him find it in the morning tomorrow.

Did you hear about Gaines? I saw the pictures of it. No. His dad? Did he shoot another monster deer he missed he missed he missed you know what i love you but it's about time you didn't pull something huge out of the woods for the rest no it's ridiculous every single fucking year i see pictures it's like an ideal book for like people dream of like one day I'll get this. Exactly. Exactly. See, like I'm still waiting for that one day where I'm just like, wow, a nice 10 pointer. I got mine actually. I'll show it to you when we're done with this. They do every fucking weekend.

Like it's fucking nothing. And I'm just like, this is really fun. I was like, okay. But like that's also the product of effort. So like they put in so much effort. See, I'm just starting to get back into it because they have their own land. Now I just hunt on public. Dude, you gotta talk to those

the Brothers Midwest guys. These guys. Nathan, are you friends with Clark and Colin? Who? Colin Gromald. Yeah. I know who he is, yeah. They don't be a... i heard they're good shit i like these guys they're fine dude i love this hat i've i've repped their hat every time like so many

episodes they're good shit they are there so colin was in the same i think they're gonna do really good things for the sport he should he both of those guys like it i think the biggest thing is like being a storyteller. Because if you're not a legit storyteller, you're done for. But Colin is one of those guys where he can build it up and boom. I still want to produce their podcast. I told him I would. I'm dead serious.

I think there needs to be another hunt. I think it would only help their brand. No, you. It would only help their brand. Are you going to get in the stand or what? No, I'm not going to get in the stand. I'm not. They're not going to shoot a podcast in the woods. Like, hey, there's a deer out here.

And then it's like 45 minutes of quiet. They still record it. They still record it in the stand. I know, but I want them to like do their hunts. Am I allowed to smoke this? Yeah, absolutely. Do whatever the fuck you want. I'm just asking.

Twist the mic. Bend it a little more so it's like kind of. I mean, this thing is all fucked up. Dude, it fucked i mean look at it yeah just okay so oh good lord i'll i'll do it i mean what do you want me to do here i'm trying to be a good now i'm trying to be a good fucking co-host here okay done i it up. Okay, exactly where it was. Yeah, exactly where it was. You're talking loud, so we're good. Dude, I was going to say, you know me.

I have a loud voice. No, I just want them to... I think it would only help them. And they do their hunts, and then instead of just having a video of them hunting, and at the end of it, probably talk about it or what they think needs to be improved in the hunting world they have like i didn't say i've seen a couple videos that they have of they had like two two fucking giants that they literally did like a 30

minute podcast on where it's just like like a youtube video yeah yeah like this is how we hunted them boom boom boom boom boom but i'm like i would like shit like i'm in the same boat as you like i want to see how you hunted him like i i would really like to see how like everything that's so tough because like when i know when you're trying to hunt you want no outside distractions you're so focused on it's very specific because like one little extra noise you're like especially bow hunting it's so bad it's so bad gun hunting would be a little different but that's what i was like all right if you want to explain or even just to showcase like as good of hunters as they could

be don't get me wrong yeah you could be the greatest hunting hunter in the world if you don't have a personality you're for today's age and you can't showcase it no one's gonna list you like you could like oh I got this this and this but like oh fuck this guy he just gets deer

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that's an that's an that's an that's an that's an that's an that's an that's an

that's an that's an that They're cool ass dudes. I'll give them that. There's also 12 of them, which I think is a lot. I think there's 10 or 12 of them that's part of that company. I think it's like, yeah. I was going to say it's out there. I would say 10 or 12 are part of the company. Because I know a lot of them deer hunt, but then a lot of them duck hunt too. They're good shit. I like them because Cullen was in our safety classes all throughout college.

Shut up. Safety what? Hunter safety? No, construction safety. Oh. What is construction safety? What the hell was that? There's no construction safety. What is it? Don't drop the excavator on your head?

Fuck. I knew this was going to come up. I knew it was was what is safety in construction so don't die and so the big i actually saw like three of our millwrights last night and they looked at me they're like safety guys like drink here i am just oh so you're a safety guy yeah oh people hate you don't they oh i love it but people hate you oh don't they? Oh, I love it. But people hate you. Oh, yeah. I love it. It's so fun. It's so fun. Like, listen here.

Put the harness on. It's so easy to be able to talk to guys when you have experience. It's so fun. Yeah, it's way... Because, I mean, I was at a commercial. Alex just texted me this week about his roof. You've got to help me out. Alex who? Henry. Oh, okay. at commercial. Like, Alex just texted me this week about his roof. You've got to help me out. Alex who?

Henry. Oh, okay. Come on. But, like. Sorry. You can't just drop it. Josh just texted me. Josh fucking who?

Jake. You know how many Jakes I know? There's only one Jake that we know. Seven or eight. There's only one Jake. Come on. It has to be. No, there's more than one Jake.

Speaking of which. Happy birthday, Jake. Again. Happy birthday. one jake come on it has to be no there's more than one jake speaking of which happy birthday jake again but like i like it yes a certified asshole you get to be that that is what it is but on the other side it's like i have the experience in the background so it's like, if you have to do this, like I get it. Let me turn my back for fucking two minutes. This is real good for your comedy. Fuck. If you tell me after. Bolt safety is top notch.

I did not read you your rights. Anything you say can and will be put in an episode. I will read you your podcast rights. I'm and will be put in an episode i will i know i'm well aware i am well aware i i came into this knowing this and i was like son of a bitch i was like i know i'm gonna say something stupid that my company's gonna be like so what'd you what'd you guys you turn your back on the safety yeah what'd you guys what were you guys talking about i'll be like fuck no but it's like you have a give and take because it's like everybody hates fucking safety. It's the HR of the construction world.

It's so fun. I love it. My mom's in HR. I hear it all the time. It's like everybody hates the safety guy, but then you actually talk to the people. And if you're able to talk to them, they'll be like, oh, like, like, oh, you're good shit. Like, oh, wow. Yeah.

As long as it's a face to face conversation. Like there's multiple, there's multiple like safety guys that I've met that like just have no people skills. Like none. Like they wouldn't be able to talk to you and me. And you're just like, how the fuck are you even doing this? I've always been curious. Like, could I get a, turn your body this way a little bit.

Um. Hi. Curious if I can get, like, a socially awkward person on here. Like, could I do a full hour with someone who's just like... No. Knowing you, you couldn't. I would... Am I?

I want to kill them. No, not at all. I was going to say, good. We haven't stopped talking. How long do you think we've been doing this? We're probably going to do this for probably two hours. No, I cut it off at an hour. We'll probably do it for an hour and a half.

We'll do it for an hour. Maybe an hour and fifteen. Okay. I won't know. Do you want... Okay. We haven't even gotten to the good shit yet. Do you have good shit? Yeah, we talked about it last weekend.

You've got to remind me. do you know how drunk i was last weekend i mean we were both pissed off yeah so i'm gonna get the mom story the oh yeah you're gonna throw me that way um we can just get right into it but you know how hard it is do you know how hard it is to like you i live this i enjoy this and then come monday when you're like i'm don't want to do anything yeah and you're like all right done with work and you're like now i gotta edit a podcast let me relive something i did on saturday when i have well i was having a lot of fun but i know tuesday's tomorrow this is the one thing like and like i mean i've always loved you like come on i want to say when did

we first meet like thunder nick uh yeah you're Nick? Yeah, you're good. No, keep going. You're good. You're good. How many times are we going to fix this goddamn mic? Well, you know what? I mean. When it's got tape on it. Dude, you need to get better mics.

No, you're fine. You're fine. Well, I need to get a better stand. I think we met Thunder. Thunder, that was my. First or second time? Oh, actually, I want to. My first.

I want to pull up a picture for you. I have the picture of you and me. Is it? Ooh, am I taped to a handle of booze yeah so am i yeah so am i i literally have a dude i asked when it got taped here i was like can you make sure we tape it so my hands are doing the rock yeah the rock symbol it has to be and. And so we're sitting around like a fire. No, we're playing beer darts. No, it was in the middle of fucking day. Yeah, we're playing beer darts.

It was in the middle of the day. It was just a pile of cans, and I'm sitting there trying to throw darts, drink. Dude, it was a good time. We haven't even gotten there yet. We'll get there later. Yeah, continue. Continue with this mob story. The mob?

You said mob story? Okay, we'll give you this. Well, you told me that you have a decent one, too. Yeah, they've heard it already, though. That sucks. I can tell you afterwards. All right, fine. So, Utah this summer.

That was a very exciting time. So exciting. I'll tell you this first. So, we go to a club downtown salt lake we order two shots of rumpleman's two jack and cokes please just take a guess how much it costs two rumple two jack and cokes yes imagine what that would cost you in a hole in the wall i'd say like 56 bucks that's funny is that exactly it absolutely not what is it 78 78 i wanted to cry uh before you and i paid for eight shots

in arizona last week and cost me 150 dollars i looked at the bill i go what the fuck is this no it's horrible it's horrible when you get out of here it's so bad i got scant or screwed and so i had another buddy order shots i go let me know what it costs or not it's so bad i asked another boy like hey can you ask uh what it costs for shots or like it's like 10 12 bucks a shot depending on what it is i go and i did the did the number. I paid $18 a shot. 18? 18.

I was like, yeah, it's not right. And so we've been disputing it with my bank right now that fucking Arizona. I'm debating it with the credit union of Arizona State. No, I just basically, not disputing. It's horrible. I was like, listen. It's horrible out there. This wasn't right.

Out West is really bad. I once paid $55. I've said it on here too. I once like, listen, this wasn't right. Out West is really bad. I once paid $55 for one drink. It's really bad, Out West. It's bad. I mean, especially Utah, where it's controlled by the Mormons. I couldn't buy hard booze. I couldn't buy hard booze. You had to make an online appointment, 9 to 5.

That's so dumb. And I worked. I missed every time time by the way another one that i see the smoker smoker's good shit no give me that this is the new smoker are you like being like a cooking guy no oh god we haven't talked a lot that much i am i mean we haven't okay so before we saw each other this past weekend when's the last time we talked it's been a while. It has been a while.

We've been busy, though. And the pandemic didn't help. We're adults. Actually, let's be honest. I would like to think so. I would like to think I'm an adult. I'm not. It's all right.

I'm not either. But it's nice to tell yourself that, like, once in a while. I actually don't want to. Like, I'm an adult in the sense of, like, yeah, legally I am, but mentally, not even fucking close. Oh, no. Mentally, I'm like a 12-year-old. Oh, see, we're on the drive here. No lie.

When I was rushing back. Mentally, I'm a 12-year-old. That's fine. I wouldn't go 12. But on the drive back, the way we were, like, we were drinking, we were hanging out downtown, and how I was, like, feeling, like, what do I want to do for the night? I genuinely felt like I was still, like— I want to go home, and I want to go to bed.

No, I honestly— I know what you said. No, I was like— the night i genuinely felt like i was still like i want to go home and i want to go to bed i know i honestly always said no i was like i i felt like i feel like i'm 23 i'm not 23 21 to 23 i feel like i'm just out of college or like senior year of college still like old enough where i'm like i'm not going to class but i'm like i don't feel let's be honest i still don't feel like 25 is not old by any means at all but everyone's like oh my god sure shit feels like it

damn but everyone's like you're 25 this bothers me though are you actually 25 now yeah I thought you were 25 happy late birthday

thank you I uh I love when how many I know you've heard this before you might not know a specific time but I've heard so many times

where girls like they turn 25. I'm like, oh my God, halfway to 30. I'm like, no, bitch. What? They're like, you're 83. You've actually heard that? Yes, like halfway to 30. Oh, I would lose my mind.

I'd be like, how about you shut up? I don't even want to hear that. Because they think 20 to 30 is their life. 20 to 30 is that life? No, that's why they say 25 is halfway. I'm like, no, you are 83% of the way there. Absolutely. I would.

You actually had somebody come up to you and say that? Multiple people I've heard this from. Oh, I lose my mind. Oh my God. We're like halfway to 30. Okay. I get drunkenly why you say it because I get it. I get it.

I get it. But also, do you know how dumb you sound? It's horrible. When you're 15, before you have I get it. But also, do you know how dumb you sound? It's horrible. When you're 15, before you have your license, in most states, you are halfway to 30. So it's like, okay, so it's different for me because my dad is here in my fucking ear. Like, yeah, I had you at fucking 19. You better not be doing anything stupid. So here I am just getting hammered at the bars.

You mean like when he was doing something stupid at 19 exactly he was having me he was having me hey i have heard a lot of worse shit hey i'm a wanted mistake it's all my what my fuck yeah hey there is nothing wrong with that i enjoy wanted mistake that's a good shit but it's like us just not when not when they wanted not when they wanted they wanted us but not when they wanted but here was a year early I feel like you might be a few years early I don't even know I probably was a container sorry no I was probably a couple years early yeah I yell at him every time I see him I haven't even, I don't think I've seen him. How old's your dad? Like. 46?

46. Hmm. I, now it benefits. Dude, he, hey, hey, hey. Listen, he gets after the ladies, and he knows that. But it's, it's bad. He's a cashier. You want to hang out? No, no, no, no.

Well, he just got married. He just got married. But the ladies all love him. He's a cashier. I take it back. But. This is cashier. I take it back.

But he, so he just got married, but the ladies loved him. Ladies love a bald guy. What the fuck is that? Confidence. When you accept it. Because I know that's why. When you accept it, then you amplify your personality. Love it.

And so if you have a good personality and you go bald, it's like if you lose your hearing your sight gets really good or if you lose your sight your hearing gets really good oh yeah so if you lose your hair your personality so then what if you okay so is you lose your beard you get good hair no essentially that's not well then what are you talking about no but like okay like, okay, people. So looks and personality, they go coincide. Oh, 100%. People put so much effort on people's hair. So if you lose one, you're going to amplify the other.

You got no personality. I guarantee you this guy's probably a looker. He's probably got a great head of hair. I feel like we're talking about my father right now. This is literally straight up my dad. But if you lose your hair and you commit to it, and you're like, you know what, this is who I am, and then you just, now you're really who you are.

You're not worried about, like, you're not you. You're not worried about any of that other bullshit where it's just like, oh, I don't. Yeah, I feel like we are straight up talking about my father. Shout out to him. And if he's confident, then yeah feel that's all son of a bitch bald you say it like he's more bald than you can be oh yeah it's out there it's out there i just got a picture this week of my grandpa because it's like so you take after your mom's dad's hair. I think that's what it is.

And I got a picture this week of my grandpa, and I've never seen anything scarier than me and him side by side. I'll show you after this. Are you very similar? It's so bad. I named after my mom's dad. My middle name. But I don't know what I got from him.

Like, I think all my family will eventually lose their hair. We've held on to... I've always had thin hair, but it's never... Your brother's got thin hair, too. But it's never... I've yelled at him a couple times. I'm like, dude, you better keep that hat on, buddy. But it's never disappeared.

Really? It's just stuck. Yeah. I have the same hair. I'm jealous. Same hair. That's why i'm growing my shit out because i literally i told my mom and my dad i was like it literally just it's bad

it's bad so it's like i'll have hair probably for another three years and then it's gone so it's like fuck it i was so i might as well i might as well grow it out now yeah so it's like fuck it i was i was very worried about it in college like even a roommate goes when you're bald i go thank you for hearing that he's got a good head of hair who cory who's cory cory fucking gilbertson yeah he doesn't make fun of him no no but he has a good head of hair cory gilbertson yeah i thought he did, we'll talk about that later. Gain doesn't have a good head. But I was, he's got the nicest. It's literally like, Jake's head is like a Brillo pad.

It's so thick. But I literally, I was worried about it in high school. I would freak out about it. It's bad. I was the same way. And you know what? If I could say this to anyone who is losing it, because I thought I was genuinely really going.

Like going bald, right? You thought that? Yeah. You were like, oh my God. I was stressing so much. And then I realized half the reason was because I was stressing. Because once you start noticing what your body naturally is so like you don't think about it when you're younger and then you look

at it and someone says something and you look at it you're like oh my god i'm losing this is bad oh my god oh my god yeah some people just have thinner hair some people have like you're just yeah that's just who you are you're gonna hold on to that the rest of your life you know and then all of a sudden like in my head like when I was in high school, I'm like, I just hope I have hair until I'm 20. And then I'm 25 and I'm like, I have the same hair if not more

than when I was 16. And I'm like, okay, you're fine. Stop freaking out. Do you and your brother have the same hair? Me and Andrew, yeah. Yeah.

Steven might be the mailman's kid. He's got, Steven, Steven is like steel wool on top of his head nothing wrong with that yeah and so hey fuck it but if i could say anything to anyone who is losing their hair and freaking out about it more so to the people around that's why we're the last thing i wear it

every day when i have short hair i won't wear it i wear it for the episodes just because i can't it's so much i sweat during these episodes if it's like right now no because it's colder outside but i sweat during these and then i'm like then my hair frizzes out and i hate it and my hair frizzes that's my problem right here i get i get pissed off where i'm like son of a bitch like just i try and tuck it behind my ears but it's like i there's nothing i can do yeah where it's it's like, I wish I could go bald. I wish I could just get yelled at already and just be like, hey, shave it off, call it a day, you're done.

But you gotta grow it out one more time. But to anyone who is, actually to anyone who is around someone who is, don't bring it up to them. No, I'm dead serious. No, it pisses them off. It pisses them off. It pisses them off. It's going to, no, I'm dead serious. No, it pisses them off. It pisses them off. It pisses them off.

It's only going to make it worse. Like they are so, like so insecure about it. It sucks. I have friends that are like, they're like, they talk about it. That's how you know,

like a guy is insecure about something is they talk about it constantly. They don't like it. Like, Oh, what about this? What about that? Just shut up.

Just like you see it, let him go. I don't think I talk about it, but it's like, it, it's one of those things that's in my mind just shut up just like you see it let him go i don't think i talk about it but it's like it it's one of those things that's in my mind where i'm just like i know i'm gonna go bald so it's just like that's one of the things that i have to tell a girl when i talk to him it's like hey like i'm gonna go bald in like five years is there a cat out there what the fuck is that we might need to go rescue a cat. No, that's a child.

Oh, that's a child. There's a bonfire going on with the neighbors over there. It's a nice little spot you got over here. Not too shabby. That's not bad. That does actually sound like children. Now it does. Now it does.

Now it does. But it did actually sound like a bonfire. But it's one of those things where it's just like yeah like i fucking get it like i know i'm gonna go bald like okay big what i'm gonna tell you right away but then like half the girls you talk to they're just like oh you're gonna go bald oh okay and they don't talk to you ever again but there are there are the hidden gems that enjoy the ball but i think that's that's a level of immaturity so immaturity not liking bald men a little bit so like hear me out like this is good i need this for my confidence but we're we're in our 20s everyone thinks we're going to have the world everyone thinks like thinks things are going to work out.

Every guy thinks they're going to end up with Megan Fox, and every girl thinks they're going to end up with Ryan Reynolds. What am I not? Yeah, exactly. What am I not? As things go, listen, that's not how life works. It's not just looks. It's personality and stuff like that.

When I made the Aaron Rodgers comparison to Big Dick, I said it on stage last night, I was like guys put so much emphasis on a big dick for no reason. Do you actually think he has a big dick? Dude? Yes. Okay. He's a,

I almost said D one. He's an NFL quarterback. His hands are the size of fucking Mars. Are you kidding me? His, his dick is probably like the length of my face. If I were to take a guess and like I love Aaron, he's my quarterback, I would probably say hard eight, good eight.

I'd probably say that. Sure. He's a good man. He's a good-looking dude, yeah. But what I was saying, so as you get older, I'm not going to talk about Rodgers' dick and looks anymore, I think people are going to start to realize, I think the one thing that people will always be judgmental about is your weight.

Your weight? Because that's controllable. And I've heard it before. It's like, I don't care if you're bald, just don't get fat. Because you can't control your hair. You can control if you're healthy, you exercise, you care about your future healthy yeah you exercise you care about your future and shit like that so if you get fat it basically sounds like oh i don't care anymore

i'm not body shaming anyone also go fuck yourself like listen it's true if you're getting fat i feel like you stop caring about longevity and stuff like that it sucks because like you can't like i don't want to be mean go ahead i mean i don't care i wore a dick costume last week at some point that was that is gonna come back to haunt me absolute classic all right but it's like one of those things where it's like you don't want to be mean but it's just like you can can like you said you can control your weight. You can control if you're healthy. But it's like, fuck, dude. Come on.

Fucking tone it down a little bit. Here we go. If you're bald, skinny, and a huge penis, you're fine. Johnny Sins? As long as you got a big dick. Johnny? Johnny Sins. Bald, skinny, huge dick.

Yeah, there you go. See, he's making money off that look. Oh, he makes fucking hundreds of millions of dollars. Not hundreds of millions by any means. I guarantee you if we looked up how much he makes. His net worth, I bet it's under 20. I bet it's under 20. I guarantee you if we look up how much he makes per year,

he probably makes, I would go 9 million. 9 million? 9 million per year. I would go 99 million. $9 million? $9 million per year. I would go $9 million per year. Dude, he's a doctor. He's a fucking therapist. What do you think his net worth is? I'd probably go $23.

I'll go $23. Dude, that guy's in every fucking video I've ever seen. This isn't probably the first video I've ever watched as a child. Johnny's probably in the first video I've ever watched. Johnny's net worth? 23 million. 5 million. 5?

That's it? And you think he's worth hundreds? Fuck it. He should be. The porn pays, but it doesn't. He should be. But he's worth hundreds fucking do he should be the poor pays but he should be but he's not getting bazo bucks he should be that guy fucking when's the last video you've seen him in that wasn't from i don't know i haven't seen i haven't seen him in a long time no it's no you let's be honest if we described our childhood or like

puberty years like oh i can tell you the first i can tell you the top 10 of what reminds you of being in middle school still to this day i had i actually had a girl yesterday asked me she this is sorry for a different time but it's like if she asked me she was like oh like you know what do you like blah blah blah you know we talk it's like, she asked me, she was like, oh, like, you know, what do you like? Blah, blah, blah. You know, we talk about it. But then she asked me, and she was like, oh, like, what's the first porn video you watched?

And I was like, that's a weird question, but okay. Like, whatever. I used to go to BigTits.com. Or like, Milf.com. What is that? Dude, when I first got into porn. It's always been X and XX. Always.

When I first got into porn, I was like, Milf.com. Big ass. I didn't know what the fuck i was doing dot com milf hunter dot do you kind of love do you kind of miss those days watching porn or like anything on my flip phone oh fuck yeah no but anything excited you like if you saw like a like every time she could have been 52 with fake tits that look like legit watermelons made no fucking sense no ass be like oh my god nipple whoa you're like nipple now it's like that wow now you have some weird fucking king you're like i need this for like jerking off i'll see like i don't have like the weird king not like weird but like you can't but yeah you can't just

go to like turn on turn to like regular porn star. If I showed you a Lisa Ann video, you'd be like, yeah, she's hot. It'd be fun, but this isn't going to do it. What? I don't know. I see Brax and I used to talk about this. You're going to tell me a Lisa Ann video doesn't turn you on. It said she's hot, but like if it's going to do it for me.

Like Brax and I used to talk about this when we were doing it.isa ann is probably one of the hottest porn stars i've ever seen in my life and she sports gambles makes her even 10 times hotter she's a sports gambler i don't know like a sports gambler like she like bets on like sports i'm not a gambler you gotta get into it dude it fucking oh we talked about this day when we were out. I am terrible at gambling. I've gambled a few times in my life. Oh, so am I. Small amounts of money, like $40,000 to $100,000. I've lost every time, which I'm actually thankful for because I never got the itch.

Because then you never got the itch. I never got the itch. I didn't lose enough where I felt like I needed to make it back. That helps. Exactly. That does help. And I never got a big win where i'm like i need this again see where see the difference was i think it was like the first third week that i

had i had a four grand win and i was like oh my god like yeah this just made this just made me come here we go off at the fucking slot exactly exactly exactly i was like this fucks every time um we have five minutes left can i ask you that's it yeah son of a bitch you want to finish your mom story or whatever you told me i'll go mom story if you go mom story because i know you have one i will tell you it afterwards because they've already heard it all right i'll go mom story because this is what you told me in Green Bay, right? Yeah, we did talk about this in Green Bay. Yeah, so you tell me this, and then I have one question to ask you.

I have changed this season's question. I like ending it on a very serious note. Son of a bitch. I don't like serious. Okay, but anyways. So we had, I moved out to Utah this summer. Yeah. That was an exciting time.

Horrible. Whatever. We went out to a bar, and had she was like 45 she came up to me she was just like hey like you're a very nice handsome young man i was like thanks i really appreciate it you're like i started walking with a little pep at my step i was like here we go so then we ended up talking for probably like 30 minutes and she was like okay yeah we're gonna go i gotta go to the bathroom like i'll just see you later i was like all right see you like bye like i mean i ain't gonna talk to you ever again whatever so i'm sitting at the bar and then she like walks back up to me afterwards she was like

what were you just gonna ditch me and i was like what are you talking about that's why i said it i was like oh my god you're like a kid oh i do it i i've never experienced anything like this i was like all right here we go i was like all right this is time to shine here we go and she was like okay let's dance whatever blah blah blah so i take her out on the dance floor dance whatever and she was just like okay like you know are you going back home with your friends? And mind you, I lived with my buddies out in Utah. And I was just like, I mean, I can, but I don't have to, whatever. And she's like, oh, let's go and get a burrito. And I was like, okay. No, that's the same face I've been.

Nothing sexier than a 2 a.m. burrito. Well, no, so fucking the bar is closed there at midnight. That sucks. Midnight burrito. Midnight burrito. Midnight burrito. Still not the sexiest. You know what I want you to do?

I've seen worse things. Before we do it. I've seen worse things than a fucking 45 absolute cougar shooting a burrito in her mouth. Okay, continue. I've seen a lot of worse things. But, anyways, so, we go and get a burrito. It was good. You know, whatever.

You didn't care about the burrito at all absolutely not so we walk out and she looks at me and she was like okay like i'll drive you whatever and i just hear an unlock and here i am just a fucking kid in a candy store fucking 45 you know 45 year old walking with a 23 year old and i see her unlock her car and it's a fucking maz and i cried and i was like this is your car and she was like yeah my other one's at home i was like what the fuck are you talking about and she was like yeah i have a range rover at home i was like what and so that happened and then we went and got a burrito that was a fun time it was a very good burrito very good and then went back and she was like oh how about you come home whatever and

i was like yeah sure whatever here i am same fucking 25 year old in a candy store you know i've never seen anything like this and we pull up in her driveway and sure shit fucking range rover sitting in her garage and i was like what the fuck did i was like this bitch has to be a bank robber i was like there's no way i was like there's absolutely no way that she's like a normal human so we go there and i was just like all right i literally told i literally put my hands up all right was like, all right, listen, like I,

I don't trust you. I told her, I was like, I don't trust you at all. And she was just like, no, I sell real estate. Like I have,

I have, I have friends in high places, blah, blah, blah. You know, Steve Smith from the Panthers. Yeah.

Yeah. That's her best friend from college. Yeah. She, yeah. That's what I said. That's what I said. I was like,

Oh, I'm sure he's your best friend i was like oh yeah i'm sure she facetimed him right in front of me really yeah fucking here comes steve smith oh fucking nice fucking caramel skin fucking everything and i'm just like you son of a bitch i was like i know you probably hit this socks but whatever you like my 24 year old i'm with right now so i'm gonna tag steve smith in this fucking video thank you steve but so like we ended up talking whatever you know shit happens that night whatever i wake up the next morning i call my buddies i'm like dude like somebody come and get me home like now i was like this is bad and she wakes up and she's like hey let's go and get breakfast i go and get

breakfast with her 180 breakfast i've never seen a brunch cost that much ever in my life i had seven bloody marys two that's why it cost so much you had seven fucking she told me to keep getting them what do you want me to do? I don't know. Was there at least food on the Bloody Mary? Well, of course. Like how much though? I mean, it was a sausage,

cheese curd, and pickle. I mean, what do you want me to do? The basic Bloody Mary, yeah. It's a fucking delicious Bloody Mary every time. But I'm big and I love all the food. Well, so do I. So do I. So, like, Loaded Slate, like, that shit, I love that shit.

Yeah. But for free booze, like, you think I'm going to turn it down? Like, sure, I'll take a cheeseburger. Did you at least have a good night? Great night. So then, like, that happened. So then that happens. And then we ended up spending $180 at the restaurant.

And she was like, oh, well, what are you doing this weekend? And I was like, I have zero idea. I don't know. What are you doing? Well, that's what I asked. I was like, well, what are you doing? She was like, well, how about we go out to a nice restaurant? I was like, okay, sweet.

Like, how about we go out to a nice restaurant? I was like, okay, like, sweet. And she was like, okay, like, what do you have for clothes? And I was like, I have a nice pair of brown dress shoes. I have dress pants and a fucking athletic polo. Here, why don't you go? Yeah, it was fantastic. I loved it.

Every second of it. It was fantastic. You had a sugar mama. Yeah, 100%. It was fantastic. You're going to ask all my buddies out there? Oh, they was fantastic. I loved it. Every second of it. It was fantastic. You had a sugar mama. Yeah, 100%. It was fantastic. You're going to ask all my buddies out there? Oh, they loved it. They thought it was the funniest thing. It was fantastic.

I loved every second of it. Do you want to go move back to Utah? I was thinking about it. I was thinking about it. She's coming actually down to Milwaukee. What is that? I think it's the week after Christmas. Really?

Yeah. I loved every second of it dude I'm jealous dude it was fantastic sugar mama that'd be sick it was fantastic I literally sat there and I was just like

she's literally paying for like all my shit like I really don't have to worry about anything like this was really fun like fun okay

cool that's so sick okay we're gonna end this here um get your serious hat on it's not that serious alright I thought of this last night

actually on the drive back from stand up you're not gonna you're not gonna ask me any of them Sam Walsh questions right okay good Sam Walsh questions

um I cry but go ahead it's so last season I asked everyone what do you want to do before your next birthday? Something you have to accomplish.

I'm not asking you that. I'm not asking you that. But that was my question. I like any honest, serious, and I like a little get to know the guests kind of thing. And then this season was supposed to be that questionnaire that I did with Sam, but I was going to narrow it down to 20 questions.

Thank God you didn't ask me. You know how boring 16 of those episodes would be if everyone was like, blonde or brunette, all that. I'd make that fun. You can tell me right now. We can do it when we go downtown. We'll drive downtown. I don't even want to think about what you're going to answer with.

Because you and me are going to get into a lot of fights. Because I thought of my answer for this but the question is basically what do you live by jesus christ so pick like have you ever come across a quote that is basically or like heard someone say something on like a podcast or a YouTube video. Oh, something like that. Oh, yeah, I'll give you a right now. Where it kind of stopped in your tracks. I'll give you a right now.

I'll give you a right now. It's harder to be at the top of the mountain than it is to climb the top of the mountain. So that was told by me. That was, what was that, sophomore? Yeah, sophomore year wrestling season. It's one of the best quotes i've ever heard because like okay so like imagine you you're sitting here like you have a hell of a podcast and you're sitting at the top of the mountain yeah it's harder to stay there yeah

you fight everyone off and then then it is to hey be on the other side of this microphone and be like i got no idea what i'm doing and so it's like it's so much better to be at the bottom i like like i thoroughly enjoy being at the bottom i love that shit like i love i love the grind of as long as you're happy exactly yeah i love the grind of whatever the fuck i'm doing. It's so fun. Like, you have, but, like, that's the thing. You have to enjoy it. Yeah. Like, if you don't enjoy it, whatever it is, whether you're a lifter,

whether it is you're just hanging out with the boys, or, like, you and me, we're going downtown with Piper. Like, if it's just us hanging out downtown, like, if you're not thoroughly enjoying it you're fucked what's the point exactly i think that quote also like thoroughly put yourself into it it's so much more rewarding and fun and feels fulfilling like i love that shit like i'd rather i'd rather go downtown to brady street with you me and two other guys and sit in an apartment and just hang out then like us with 12 different people here and me not talk to anybody it's so much more rewarding i think

that quote can because that quote can be taken like very poorly too like what's the point of getting the top i think you can interpret that very much as listen i know you're trying to pursue the top enjoy the journey up because the top all that is cracked up to be um if i had to tell you mine and i i heard this from a clip from like i'll get shit on this for this but like from a rogan podcast but it's a different guy and it's shit i'm for that people a lot of people like a lot of people don't like him. Yeah, I give you that. I love this. When I heard this, when I watched this video, I think in sync because I said, shit, the same time Rogan was like, wow.

He was like, holy shit, wow. I love this quote. It says, a man lives two lives, and his second starts when he realizes when he realized that he's two yeah no when he realized he has just one it's a nice little cult I love it you live two lives but your second starts when you realize you just have you have the fact the fact that I'm actually sitting across from you and you would just have like an inspirational quote it

actually blows my mind because I remember getting absolutely blacked out with you when we were like, when I was like 19. That's the thing. I think I can be, I am a very serious person, but you can be. I mean, I am, I think, both extremes. You have

to though. I have to be. That's how we all are. So it's like like the same thing we I would like to think that you and me are probably same spectrum yeah yeah but it's like a spectrum or same spectrum we gotta make one there we go so it's like There we go. So it's like, like a quote like that. It's like, it's surprising because it's like people don't understand that like you have to be like invested into something. Because so many people are just like, oh yeah, I want to do this.

But they don't get fully invested into it. That's why I asked the question, like what's something you've always wanted to try that you haven't done? That's why I love you and your podcast. So I think it was like three weeks ago. That's this for me. Exactly. So I went and had dinner with a couple guys that ran inside Wisconsin. And I asked them, and I was like, what is it that separates you guys?

He was just like, you just have to find your niche. You do. And like you, you have your niche. It's talking. That's it. But yeah. I've heard a lot of talking out of you. Yeah, I know.

There's nothing wrong with that. We'll end it here. You are allowed to say whatever you want to that camera. What do you want me to say? Whatever you want. This is going to be really bad. Go for it.

Just like, I don't know, say whatever you want. You can say nothing. I probably will say nothing. I mean gave i already gave the nice big c i mean i didn't give you all the full i'll give you the full details i'll tell you the rest of the story but yeah um thank you happy birthday heilman yeah um we love you buddy uh who else are we missing we're gonna come join you here in a bit i don't think it's anyone else's birthday.

That's all Facebook told me. It's just Jake's birthday. It's just Jake. Actually, Jake, you know what? That's impressive as fuck. That's very impressive. That is. That's impressive.

The fact that, okay. I get a notification on my own birthday. There's like nine other birthdays. I will say this. I am very surprised that I actually made it through an entire podcast after the fact that I was blacked out all day today. I will say that. Because, I mean, I was in Whitewater all day. And, I mean, I was blacked out all day today. I will say that because I mean, I mean, I was in

Whitewater all day and I mean, I was very surprised. I was very happy that I actually got here safely and we got there. We're ending it there before we end. Thank you.