Fat Chance Podcast - Ep.4 - Chad Frey

Episode Date: February 8, 2021

Cracking open the yearbook, Chad Frey joins me on this weeks episode. Fresh off his birthday celebration, we sit down in his brand new house and hangout as we did back in high school.

Is it on this thing? Yeah. It says off. Direct monitor. Direct monitor does need to be on. Go talk into your microphone so I can see if yours works. Hi. Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi.

Oh, yeah, we're on. We're just starting it now. Oh. Yeah. Glass. Does this ice maker work? No. No? Okay. Does this ice maker work? No. No?

Okay. Can I have a cup and let's see. A cup and. I will get ice. So do I just monologue by myself? I guess so. Start it out. Start it out.

Dude, I like this so much I want this to be like the set because I can't use the garage. It's so fucking cold right now. Oh, well. this so much i want this to be like to you paid me six hundred dollars i was uh so yeah you're new to this just make sure you're in the mic this is so comfortable the garage i wanted to hold off doing this with you though because i wanted to want you to in the garage and i was going to try and do something like special and different. Because this is just going to be too fucking easy. Why easy?

Just talking. This is easy for us. It's been just you and I for, you know, ever. Can I have the vodka? I don't need that. The Tito's is fine. If that's okay. I don't care.

I'm cracking it. The the crystal head that stuff was good though i know it was strong it was really good i don't drink vodka but that shit was like he said it's like citrusy but i don't know the story behind it i'd have to like actually look it up i don't know the full thing i just i remember being really interested when he was talking about it sponsored by titos i i thought when i first started doing this i'm like when he was talking about it. Sponsored by Tito's. I thought when I first started doing this, I'm like, I'm not going to drink during all these.

I think I've drank during the majority. How fun. You're allowed to ask questions. I know. I was like in between what I was going to say. In betwist. I can see. Look. No, no, no. I know. I was like in between what I was going to say. In betwist. I can see. Look. No, no, no. I know you can see yourself. I'm talking about

for the microphone. Oh. I don't need another soft talker. Should I project? This is a lot of vodka. Yeah. For noon after a party. It's Super Bowl Sunday. That's true. Which is a little dis... Oh, the music needs to get turned off now.

Oh, yeah. Well, now it's awkward. We'll have it on... I'm kidding. It is weird. I wish I could have music in the background the whole time, but when you actually go back and listen to it, it just doesn't sound right.

It's like... Yeah, you have to add it in. Yeah, it makes... If you wanted to. Yeah. Well, I could have it in the back. I could have it... We could put it that all the way over there, and they wouldn't hear it,

but we could hear it. Do you want to do that? Can that be unplugged? Yeah, I was just charging it. This is my demolition. Throw it across the room. Probably move the Tito's out from my face. Oh, God.

This is a real poor, poor start. Oh, I'm just gonna... Yeah, I get it. I'm pretty sure it'll just come. You wanna talk about the ball sack warmer you thought I was wearing around my wrist? We could. No, maybe not. I can just talk.

You can just talk. I know. You can just talk. I don't know. I am surprised you didn't back out. I almost did. Did you really? No.

I will this morning because I was tired i was like fuck i could just sleep yeah now i'm fine i was feeling that when we were when you went up to the bathroom before we started this i was just kind of like i sat down for a second like fuck i am uh i'm a little tired but this is gonna be a good pick me up yeah that's better than i could do start doing vodka what'd you end up drinking is that just whiskey red stag oh you think mine's a problem no there's bright for color for color no i thought i drank last night was the crown and the the crystal hood i was proud of myself because normally i will slam like as much whiskey into my body as i can on a party and this is your house now i know but still like yeah no you will

i had more beer than i did whiskey yesterday because last weekend i was it was me joss's dad and ed because all the girls were in Florida for the weekend. And I don't even remember getting drunk. Like I woke up and I was like, well, I remember falling asleep and then I was like, yeah, I don't even feel anything. Like I'm good. So I fall asleep. I wake up the next morning and I think that i was absolutely shit faced when i woke up like more drunk than what i was when i went to bed you just like you're feeling it you recognize

it's like it built up while i was sleeping and then i when i woke up that's a different level of it was like oh my god we were we were sending it but it was uh no i think your biggest thing is and you did it um we were in college, but when you sat down, that's when you knew. You're done so. Oh, yeah. You sit. I mean, you ain't moving.

Yep. But I think because it's. Like halftime before Madison games. Yeah. You'd be like, halftime, I'd be sitting there. I'd be like, yep, I'm out. We're done. I'm done.

No, and I think because it is your house now you were constantly moving around and you know you do have a a brand new puppy so i don't think you're alone yeah he's gonna chew on everything i know it's just gonna cut out because i'm gonna be missing half the course i should just have him have his bed set up on right here and just let him if he just slept yeah that'd be great i just have a camera on him the whole time and just let him. He's sleeping right now. We call it the puppy podcast. The episode. The episode is just him.

What episode number is this now? You are number four for the new show. Who are the other guests? I had, when I ended tending a lisp, I did a two-part. So there was the same people for the end in the beginning so it was college friends and then Toth I don't think you know Toth and then Jake Heilman his name's Toth his name's Michael Toth oh um I was gonna say and then Jake Heilman then I didn't do one last week which kind of bummed me out and

then i had a guest cancel on me earlier this week so i'm a backup no well yeah but no um no i had she i mean she'll know i'm talking about her she had a full-on panic attack when i asked her to do it she uh her name's shia her name's shia she a pet um no she i asked her i was like are you do you want to do it she goes well what are we doing i'm like well it's a podcast she goes are we talking i was like no we're just gonna stare into the fucking camera for an hour and a half and do nothing and then when it came the day she's like well it's snowing i don't think you want to come down here i'm like i'll risk it and she's like oh can we do it sunday i get nervous when i have to public speak like well this isn't public speaking it's just you and i talking and is it going to change from now to

sunday no and i finally just like i'm not going to beg you to do this was uh do i know the girl or is it someone i think you've met her i'm not to say names, but yeah, no, she went to school with me too. Oh, so she's Madison? Madison, yeah. Most of the people have been Madison. I want to do. Yeah, I went to Harvard, so I missed out on all that stuff. The Harvard of the Southeast Wisconsin.

Yeah. WCTC, baby. I did not go there. I mean, T.C. You went to M. I thought you went to WCTC for. Well, yeah, I did, but that shit doesn't count. You did go baby. I did not go there. MNTC. You went to MNTC? I thought you went to WCTC for... Well, yeah, I did, but that shit doesn't count. You did go there.

I did. No, I didn't go there. I went to UW Waukesha. Oh. Hell on earth. I couldn't find a place to sit down. I was, like, actually trying to be a good student for once in my life, and I was like, yeah, I'm going to do homework, you know.

Dude, I remember. And then I go and I sit down. I walk to the, like, places where there's, like, seating all over the fucking place. So I go there and I'm like, well, I'm going to do some homework. So I walk around. Nope, those guys are playing Pokemon. Can't sit there. Keep going.

Yep. Oh, there's a Yu-Gi-Oh table. Every single table in the entire school is covered in fucking Pokemon cards. And I'm like, yeah, this is nuts. This is a rager. After going to, like, Madison and everyone's partying, this is their version of partying there. Wild Friday night.

Yeah. You guys want to do a double duel? Yeah, you guys want to come to my mom's basement and we'll have soda and play Yu-Gi-Oh. I got Mountain Dew and doritos no i remember uh my fit when you you i mean you are a good student you get your shit done but more so than i did but i remember when i would come back and over winter break and you'd show me like your homework you have and you're like i was because i asked what class you're in you're like i'm in math and

that was like the name of the class was just math and you're like i have to i have this you had a workbook like you were in third grade yeah and it was yeah addition subtraction multiplication like i think the hardest thing you did was like long division i mean it was a joke you did i remember you're like i did three weeks worth of homework just because it took me five minutes yeah and then i just didn't have to worry about it but now it's way different like the school i have to go go through now we're doing like fucking like nasa calls me when they have questions now on math they're like hey we need to figure this out and then they call me up and then i i help you got it yeah i mean that that math class at UW-Oxhaw really helped you for that. No, it did.

Yeah, no, doing fucking trig and shit now. It's not fun. It's still not even like that complex. I know, but I'm just saying. It's a step up from math. NASA does call me every once in a while, and they're like, hey, we need to figure this out. We want to get the rocket off the ground. Yeah. So who do they call?

Not you. No, that's who they call maybe to weld it no not even that i build it and i do all the i would try if you told me you welded like part of the space shuttle i would trust that if you told me you were part of the calculations to get it off the ground i would move to a different state well who was the leading scientist on this uh chad fry out of franklin wisconsin yeah that's good my just your dumb ass grin my rap sheet yeah he almost had an associate's degree but then they tried to charge him for a gym class that was mandatory so he dropped out of college and became a welder you actually just didn't want to do gym gym was mandatory it was a 600 gym class so i went up i'm like i'm not taking this fucking class you're like well you have to take it yeah they said you have to take it in order to get your associate's degree are you

sure you just didn't sign up for high school again in walkershaw that's what it sounded like but then i was like okay well you can cancel all my classes because I'm fucking done. So I never went back. What was the old, wasn't like tuition there for two years? Like $2,400. For two years total? No, it was probably, well, for two years it was probably close to like six or seven grand, I think. I think, but I think. I think.

But I didn't pay it. My parents were nice enough to pay for my tuition for that. And then once I dropped out and did something different, then I paid for everything. Yeah, I know. Which was fine. It's amazing. Six grand for two years of school.

That's how much your books cost in Madison. That's what I paid in four years. I probably paid six grand for two years of school that's how much your books cost in madison that's what i paid in four years i probably paid six grand in books actually i stopped my last two years i stopped buying textbooks i don't buy our well now my my work buys all my books yeah which is cool but six grand jesus christ i mean i paid six grand and i can rent well you pay for places to sit and not have to fucking watch card games all day yeah i paid to party that was a madison was a hundred thousand dollar social experiment yeah i mean but it's fun oh my god it was so fun i would do it again i mean if you asked me to go through college now again, I would tell you to fuck off.

But I go back to being 19, yeah. It's not even that we're old. I just, oh. I couldn't imagine doing college now all online. Yeah, fuck that. I feel old. Joss's mom was describing what, I forgot which one of the thousand Krieger girls are in college right now.

Jillian. Jillian. But describing how all classes are, I would lose it. of the thousand krieger girls are in college right now but jillian jillian but describing how like all classes are i would i would lose it if the two online class two or three online classes i took in college while i did like when that was like a oh it's online i have to go to class yeah and now having to do all those like that was terrible i always procrastinated there's no there's no like incentive to do anything because you're not in person. There's no pressure on you. It's just like, oh, it's there.

Only if I turn my computer on. Yeah. And she was saying that you have to get mandatory tests. Like COVID bullshit. Really? Yeah. You have to go and get tested to be on campus. And you have to quarantine in your dorm.

It's retarded. I would have killed my roommate. Like, you're allowed to leave at certain times of the day. Like, that's like fucking jail. I'm like, why would you even want to be there? I wonder how that works, because, like, the bar I used to work at, I see them post, like, oh, reserving tables. Like, if you go reserve a table at a bar for the Super Bowl,

do they then afterwards, like, oh, I can't go out for two weeks now? Also, how do they fucking know? Yeah, I don't know. They kick in. That's tough. Have you been exposed at all or, like, had to go get a test? No. I mean, I've been exposed, I think.

My dad had it. And did you end up having it? No. No. I had to go get tested, though. And it was stupid i had to i did the test myself really they handed me a swab and said put it a half inch into your nose and all these videos you're seeing online people are like fucking shoving it here and

pulling it out their ass and going through the next one and it's like what the hell a half inch so then i'm like whatever take the swab from the lady and i'm like doing this thing she's like oh don't twist it i'm like thanks for telling me that at the beginning while i'm doing it yeah so then i do it and she's like oh a little bit deeper i'm like yeah i know i've heard that before and she didn't really she didn't really catch on but it was i mean she is dealing with a pandemic i don't think she's got time for jokes but i think that's the perfect time for jokes i think there's always time for jokes same i mean my life is this is this is a joke this is what i'm doing yeah i mean funerals are those are usually the times you're not supposed to but ever a well everyone's gonna have yeah it's gotta it can't be like it can't be during the thing no well it can be like you know after the fact like everyone's still there, but you're like, you walk up and it's just like.

Like, the whole thing's over and you're kind of just having a conversation and someone cracks a joke. Yeah. Not like when you're making the speech. Yeah. Like an icebreaker, I guess. Well, if you're making the speech, if it's a joke about the person and it's like you're. It also depends on the person who passed away. Yeah.

You can't go like if it's a fun person and, like, you started cracking jokes, but, like, you have to be a little teary-eyed if you're doing what you're talking. Yeah. But if it's, like, someone's dad or mom that passed away. Yeah, he was a grumpy old bastard, wasn't he? Yeah. Like, you could say something like that. Like, if someone's already bawling, it's like, yeah, you can't double down.

Yeah. Like, oh, quit crying. He wasn't even that nice. Man, this guy fucking sucked. Yeah, what a prick Uh oh Let's check her out Are you getting

Are we getting told to quiet down Yeah In my own house In your own house Nope It's a snapchat Smoked Pulled pork

Barbecue nachos What's that Guy I work with B bought a traeger the pellet grill oh it's like a pellet smoker yeah so he sends me all this like delicious food that he makes and i'm like god damn it i want to buy one and i looked at how much they are and i was like i'll buy one across the street because there's new mission barbecue sponsored new mission barbecue across the street. That's where I'll buy my $7 pork. It's not the greatest barbecue there.

I've never been. I've had it once. I mean, it's – I really like Dickies. I don't know if – I think I've had – oh, I got cups. The yellow cups. Yeah. I have those in my house. Yeah.

Me too. I have a ton of them. And then when Josh was like, we were moving, and she was like, are you going to throw those away? I'm like, you'll be gone before the cops are gone. It's amazing, like, weird things you hang on to. In our house, my mom told me this a long time ago, but the silverware we've been using since I was a kid,

my mom stole from the dining halls in Whitewater. Really? When she was in college. Yeah, I'm like, I'm using college forks. College forks. That's an expensive fork. Mm- expensive fork you could sell it online and i once she said that i looked at i'm like i can tell exactly which ones came from a dining hall and we're a part of a set did you just hear oh oh he's going outside he probably woke up mom's letting him out i'd

actually be a little nervous if he came down with everything around here i just realized that this is the first time that i've actually looked at the camera really yeah you can look at it if you want i want to look at yours the whole time yeah i can't see what you look like just because the way it's positioned but i can see me it's not a great look yeah no it's really bright we're gonna have to figure something out if i'm gonna be doing everything out of your basement from now you could if you wanted to i want to i like the bar man it looks good it looks good it was a pain in the neck i think i have very similar signs like this jacqueline got me that one my mom got me this one this year that one's actually gonna move to above

the stairs but i'm gonna frame it out and like pallet wood so it's like tin like things i have a bunch of those i got more right there that's the my favorite ones right there but i fucked it up trying to get it off the wall in my apartment jesus well i use surrender the booty yeah where'd that one go where did it go or where is where was it because obviously it was in my apartment and i accidentally sent two nails into two studs and i fucking just rammed them in so getting that sign off was that had been a bitch i almost took the drywall with me because they were patching all the drywall anyways. Fuck that. Where in your apartment was that? On the stairs.

I am not observant when it comes to that stuff. I do not miss that apartment. You don't? It was a good, I mean, it was a good, like. It was a cool apartment for being an apartment. But now that I'm here. I was going to say, now that you have your own house, I wouldn't miss any apartment. Look at all the space you have.

I mean, this basement's bigger than your apartment was yeah it is not by a lot i forgot why i kind of just like started drinking that whiskey straight is too much orange juice and just like a sticky taste in your mouth i fucking hate it i like orange juice but i have to have like it sounds weird but i like breakfast sausage with my orange juice breakfast food like yeah normally it's the other way around but i'm like yeah i kind of need some fucking like cooked breakfast meat yeah i just like breakfast food and orange juice it's a great combination i love dipping my breakfast sausage in syrup too people think that's weird bacon and syrup bacon's way you ever seen candied bacon?

Yeah. I saw a TikTok the other day on that. And I don't watch TikToks. I just saw it. It just happened to come up. You're obsessed with it. You were talking about TikTok the other day. You know what? TikTok is like the new Vine.

It is Vine. And then when TikTok's gone, something will replace TikTok. Exactly. Right now, it's just an app for short videos. That's it. That's all. What's the next app that's going to host all of them? Because eventually, when TikTok's gone, all the Viners went to YouTube.

All the TikTokers are going to go to YouTube. We should start fucking planning it. The new app? Yeah. What do you want to call it? Knock Knock? Knick Knack? Tic Tac.

Tic Tac? No. What do we call it? 30-second video. That's long for an app i mean i basically i don't have a tic toc but i have an instagram explore page which is just tic tocs yeah that's all it is yeah that's where i see all mine i just refuse to download tic toc because i know then i'll just download it then i'll be obsessed with like me i'd rather just scroll instagram because i already have it yeah then like create another wound we would literally sit upstairs and be like all right we're gonna watch this movie

maybe like eight o'clock at night just eat dinner or whatever we'd go up. Oh, shit. Getting tired? No. Yeah. But we would go. Getting tired? No. Yeah. Who's we, by the way? Me and Joss. Okay.

I was like, I don't remember doing this. So we would go upstairs and then. She'd be like, all right, let's watch just like five minutes of TikToks. I'm like, all right, fuck it. So I was sitting there on my phone. I'm like, it's definitely been longer than five minutes. Five minutes. you like said a timer but i am too scared to look at the clock so then about the next time i look up away from my phone i look over her and she's smiling doing that laughing scrolling i look at the clock it's about 10 o'clock at night two hours just gone it goes but hey it was good content there

was a lot of good shit on that day that day i see for me is like i i know i'll end up doing that scrolling i just yeah the days i do it the most is if we do like we had the party last night or depending on how much we drink during the super bowl day like tomorrow or like a sunday when i get home and i'm just like sitting tomorrow or, like, a Sunday when I get home and I'm just, like, sitting on my phone, like, I'm going to do this before I shower. And the next thing you know, it's 2 o'clock in the afternoon. I'm like, I should probably shower.

I'm like, I'll give you, like, five more minutes. I'm like, I should eat. And it's, like, it's alarming how much time you can spend on it. Yeah. Because for me, I do, like, the Facebook videos, and I like longer videos. Yeah. And which is weird. That's the only reason I use Facebook. I always watch longer videos. Yeah. And which is weird.

That's the only reason I use Facebook. I always watch that judge, the judge. You ever seen that one? Like the cool judge, the old dude. Oh yeah. Like out of New Jersey.

Yeah. Providence. Yeah. Yeah. And he's, uh, his are always cool to watch. Those are like,

they're kind of slow. Yeah. I've watched a few of them. It's going to be a good ending. Yeah. Usually. I haven't seen one where he. I know there's going to be a good ending. Yeah, usually. I haven't seen one where he just rips. He's like, yeah, you're fucked. That'd be a great twist.

Wouldn't that be so? Just like out of nowhere, he's like, fuck you, you little bitch. Yeah, he's just. You run one more goddamn red light. We get all these little envelopes in to help people and bless their day. And he'd be like, and you're not fucking getting one. He's like're fucked that'd be you know what double the fine yeah jail time yeah i changed your fine from 13 now to 300 13 to 1300 oof what's this is this the lights to here or underneath the up top why do i keep yawning now?

They're contagious. Yeah, I almost did. I kind of want to fight it. It's on. Your eyes are going to pop out of your head. What color is it out right now, blue? We should have drank out of cool glasses. Ooh, I like that blue way better.

We should have drank out of cool glasses. I mean, we can change. Dibs. It says Oktoberfest 1998. So, you want to drink out of Steins? Do you want to switch glasses real quick? That's loud. No. Why don't we use those giant mugs? That's loud. No.

Why don't we use those giant mugs? It says extra. Is that a Corona extra one? Yeah. Or is that too soon? The handle is a parrot. Oh, dibs.

Mer! Fuck you, Michael. Fuck you. Fuck you. Welcome to the podcast. Yeah, I'm not going to use that. If you can see

the inside of this there is some black sludge i haven't done dishes in a while what the fuck is in there i don't know these are uh these are for my parents it looks like the parrot threw up inside the mug this one look at it's the fucking budweiser horses. The Clydesdales. They should have a horse that's the handle, like the parrot. This one, well, that'd be gay. The Reigns. It's a Reign. That's what it is.

It's a Reign? This is the Collector's Series. That is fancy. I actually saw the Clydesdales when we went down to New Orleans my freshman year in college for a lacrosse trip. They had the stablesdales. When we went down to New Orleans, my freshman year in college for a lacrosse trip, they had the stables down there. It was super cool. We should each

just take one shot. Okay. Okay, you go first. Let me see this. Your parents go to like a spring break store to attitude adjustment. Attitude adjustment? This is like a mental adjustment.

Mr. Krieger, I think, had one of these last night. He was feeling himself. Quite a few. Dancing with his water plant, Thunderstruck. I was surprised that they were actually willing to play that. He's going to listen to this for the first episode ever. He's like, fuck, come on. I told him he could do the show if he wanted to.

He said that he'll do one of them with you. I'm gonna make tinfoil hats, though. And I'm gonna have him put it on. Give me every conspiracy you have. He knows some crazy shit. He'll tell you something and you'll like think about it twice and you're like holy fuck like that makes sense and then you're like your

head just starts spinning your world's like upside down if he if he says it with confidence you could say the craziest shit with confidence you'd be like i kind of buy it well i'll tell you this and a lot of people think it's fucking crazy but he 100 believes in sasquatches oh yeah i heard about that last night because i asked like what's the number one thing yeah he listens to or believes in and they're like um just like oh bigfoot or whatever but like i thought like she was like bigfoot was just like the start it was like a quick easy one yeah but then she like doubled down like no he listens to like bigfoot podcast I think. Yeah, I've listened to them. And I'm just saying, but those fuckers got me convinced.

Because it all makes sense. I saw a video the other day. Of a man in a gorilla suit running through the woods? No, this had to be an eight-foot gorilla. This was Yeti? Yeah. Not white, though. Where is the video? Can I see the video? I can't remember. remember i have to find it was it a tiktok video that he's on facebook

okay so it's in my domain it was in your your area my my neck of the woods yeah oh nice see what i did there yeah but guess what in my neck of the woods i still haven't seen that bigfoot only you have and you coincidentally can't find the video. But he might have seen you. I hope not. It's not a mountain lion. Does Michael shit in the woods? Just ask a Sasquatch.

He'll know. The world may never know. Have you ever shit in the woods? Yeah. Sorry. We are not talking about this on a podcast. Oh, come on. Good old deer camp.

Should I talk about it? Cut the turd. Oh, no. You make it sound like I was there, but I wasn't part of the process. Luckily, I had a butter knife in my back pocket where I could just see it. Like a little schmear. You did that. Or no, your dad did.

Your dad did over there. But every year it's the same story. Don't lift up that rock. Don't lift up that rock. There's a pair of your boxers in Fort Wisconsin. I did not shit my pants, but I shit in my pants, if that's the best way to explain it. Yeah, so basically.

I'm going to need more eyes. I'm going to need more eyes if we're talking about my poop story. We should... I mean, I can tell it kind of, but basically we have this silo area at our hunting property. How long old it was? Was it freezing that? Fuck yeah. We have this silo,

and it's old, kind of like barn area. It's got a bunch of pipes in it. And basically, if anyone needs to go to the bathroom, we just tell them to squat over that or just lean your ass over the side and just go. And Chad did. And the thing is, like, if you lean too far, you're going to fall back, and then you're going to land in your shit. And you're going to fall, what, like six feet to the ground? So, like, you're kind ofting and to get it to dump over and then when the turd cut

when when it broke off when it left the asshole it didn't shoot out like he wanted it to it kind of just like a flaccid penis just down and landed right in his boxer shorts well it landed inside of my hunting bibs which had my jeans my sweatpants all that stuff but it landed like perfectly inside of my boxers so all well this was the worst part i still have my boots on it's freezing cold it's snowy i had to take my boot i had to take every single layer off i remember you being gone for a while i'm basically naked in the woods you're like 30 yards from the truck and it's like probably seven degrees outside you should have just brought more ice down in that bucket yeah why do you need more now no i'll be all right can you hear the red stag i can't yeah oh man what do you mean oh man it's early for this but i don't even care

yeah do you yeah that's it's such a shame well i i think this is like i drank one of those liquid ivs this morning and it was like the best thing ever i've never had this work yeah they say three times i don't really get that hung over, though, so. I do. I get. That's because your insides are so fucked up. Dude, I left for. I left for 45 minutes to an hour.

And I come back and you're like, dude, I've shit four times already. I'm like, like once every 10 minutes you go. No, that's just after post post drink,Thanksgiving dinner, birthday cake, all that shit. And I didn't go last night. But four times in an hour. That's pretty healthy. No, it's not. Yeah, it is.

It's good for you. It's bright for the color. We need to get a sponsor here that has... Charmin? Yeah, Charmin might sponsor this one. This is a poop podcast all of a sudden. Charmin, send Chad some toilet paper, please. I'm not down.

I'm down for it. Just shoot me an email. Just don't send me one pie. Shoot me an email. I'll make sure he gets it. Yeah. That'd actually be funny as shit. At work.

Literally shit. The Port-A-Johns. Those suckers are... You know, this place I'm at now, they really clean them. They clean them every single day. The bathrooms? But the worst part... Aren't the bathrooms supposed to be cleaned every day?

Not the Port-A-Johns. Oh, the Port-A-Johns. I thought you were talking about a legit bathroom facility. There's no bathrooms. It's all Port-A-Johns. So it's outside. So it's cold. Oh, that sucks. Especially now. Yeah especially now yeah and it sucks i'd be holding in every shit the worst part is that's yeah me too but that the worst part is that you if you have to go there's everyone

calls it getting bit by the blue monster because they clean them every day there's no padding for it to drop so when it drops it just splashes and you get bit by the blue monster oh yeah i mean i guess it's all clean stuff in there kind of not really no that's that was a poor no there's nothing clean in there there's no way you don't know if there's like piss in there you gotta like maybe it's a waste with the toilet paper but just like throw some toilet paper down there i'll take a whole goddamn roll and do it. Just like, I don't care.

It's one play. You can see your hand through it. You shouldn't touch your ass with it. Yeah. If I got a roll, like if I'm doing 10 rolls around the hand and you're still like, this doesn't feel right. Yeah.

You know, it rips. You ever, you ever wipe and it rips and you're like, is there stuff stuck in my asshole now toilet paper you know what i mean i know what you mean or you just kind of like there was more toilet paper there yeah and it didn't come off or you can kind of feel it you're just like oh shit and now you're like do i gotta dig i don't dig I'm not a digger. I do not go for any.

No penetration. Nothing touches that area. That is a exit only. I hope so. Oh, it's only been 30 minutes. It feels like way longer. Does it really? It does feel longer.

We're having so much fun. So time. Actually. Wouldn't it be the exact opposite? Yeah wouldn't it be the exact opposite yeah it'd be the exact that would be we are miserable right now um i'm kind of hungry i'm so glad i got to bring us some turkey i'd be down that'd be cool lunch already how awesome would that be if that was part of the show we just have someone brings us food and drinks the whole time or Or should I just eat it in the mic? Be like... My mom hated that. When I would chew candy, she's like, listen, I'm done listening to you guys eat candy.

What about those little buttons? Go open them. Are they good? Have you ever had dot candy? Or not dot, like the paper candy? Yeah, when the paper gets stuck on the back and you're eating like... Yeah, that's what it is. It's just on steroids.

Go get them. Open them up. I'll try some yeah why not this is also why i think your insides are fucked up is what you put inside of you is not always the greatest what whiskey and candy for breakfast ain't good where the fuck is it it's in that that container over there yeah i've had that that's been in that box for months. Yeah. No, thanks. What do you mean?

They're all broken up. Go. Let me get it. It's been in there for months. You just said, whatever I put in there. This is why I get sick. It's candy. It's... Before it was in my thing for...

I saw this in your garage before we went deer hunting. Yeah. Months. But before we... Look at the lemon ones. Look at their old fucking yeah we look at all the ones that are good i know they look chalky or is it just uh it's just sugar oh i don't know i'll try some yeah i know you will you'll eat anything would you like a red an orange orange, a yellow, a blue?

You're getting red because it's right there. Oh, it didn't crack. Here's orange. What do you think? Mom, we're finally trying your candy. I wish they were hard. They're a lot softer than I had thought of. They're airy.

Yeah. And here's your blue. I'll try one. The orange one was not good. The orange? They have different flavors? Yeah. Oh, there is a little bit of a...

I'm not a huge fan of that At all But we're gonna try My mouth is really dry now Yeah It took everything out of me Okay It's like eating Sidewalk chalk

Flavored sidewalk chalk That's what it is In a little candy form. But listen, you give this to a kid. Why did I eat that? Oh, my God. The blue is not good. Try the blue one.

I'm going to. That's terrible. The yellow might be my favorite so far. The orange kind of tastes like... Ass? Yeah. Just wait. It gets worse. The orange um this is the you know the orange scented like pledge like lemon pledge that's what it tasted like like it tastes like you realize what you just said it tastes like how it smells they have an

orange pledge and a lemon pledge i know but you think the orange one tastes like lemon pledge the orange one tastes like the orange pledge smells like that was a mouthful did you try the blue one yet yeah the blue one you know what the blue one tastes like have you ever had a snow cone and then if you ate the paper thing it came in. I tried not to eat paper as a kid. It tastes like paper. It tastes like the paper it came on. No. Yeah, you can have those.

Wrong. I don't want them. You can keep them. You can also take your shot glass. Let's fill the shot glass up with those. No. Why not? Because this is cool.

Oh, Jesus. I didn't realize that this was. How many shots is that? I don't know. Look, it says interns, traffic, the press, taxes, the deficit, lobbyists, Democrats, Republicans. Why are the Republicans at the top? Let's not get political. Just wondering. the top let's not get political just wondering yeah let's not because you would think that you would have to have more to like

let me see maybe they have the worst attitudes which would make sense because that would be me yeah no you do have a bad attitude most of the time yeah but that's good for you problems yeah i mean it was a definitely someone when they made they're just like all right who's going on top republicans or democrats yeah what the fuck is a lobbyist i didn't go to madison they didn't teach me that at harvard traffic or interns interns who decided the press taxes this i mean all right put different levels on here what would be your own Who decided the press taxes? I mean, all right.

Put different levels on here. What would be your own? Levels of anger. See where the top of the rim is? Yeah. Right about up to there. No, I'm talking like if this was, what would you put here instead of interned? Oh, like just for one shot.

Married. I don't know. Just for one shot. Married. I don't know. Yeah. Puppy. What's one? Puppy. Chewing puppy. Chewing puppy. Yeah, you would be like puppy.

And I would make him drink it. Probably call your dog on booze. Well, his teeth, they... They're coming in? Yeah. Well, he's losing his puppy teeth, which is like a thing. Yeah. It's supposed to, like, bother them like crazy, I guess, which I, whatever, I understand.

It doesn't seem like it. He's still biting the shit out of me. I know, but that's because his teeth are bothering him. Because he chews on me all day long. He was fucking good yesterday. Look at that. Was that in your hand? Yeah.

A little. Speaking of teeth, I get my wisdom teeth out tomorrow or two of them i had one protrude out of the right side of my mouth or i was coming going in sideways and went into my cheek and it created this crater and they i ended up going get it hurt so bad i went to an emergency dentist and he pulled it out for me and i was like oh and then he looked at me he goes you probably don't need to get the rest of your teeth the wisdom teeth out because they have such a low impact rate that they're not going to move your teeth around and i still had the appointment with my orthopedic um surgeon and he's like yeah you should still get

them out but we're only going to take two of the three out because one's in the nerve so i will still have a wisdom tooth after two different procedures to get them out and i'm not looking forward to it i don't want to get past like they give you the options to pass did you pass out when you got yours out or did you just take the gas no i was completely not remember oh i remember it up until i was at my house and i had a popcorn ball in my head yeah i remember jared were sitting next to me taking pictures yeah we were about to go to uh him and i were going to go on my head yeah i remember jared were sitting next to me taking pictures yeah we were about to go to uh him and i were gonna go to dc and then we're like we're gonna stop by and say hi to you and the video of you your mom changing your gauze you go did you eat cheetos and then she starts laughing she's like cheesy gauze but yeah I remember getting back from that trip and you're like, I think you didn't even know I, Chad and I visit or just Jared and I visited you for two hours.

Well, dude, they had me so fucked up. Like every, every four hours I had to take two of those, like whatever hydrocodones. Two. So I would wake up. I'd be like, oh, my mouth hurts. I'd take two of those like whatever hydrocodones two so i would wake up i'd be like oh my mouth hurts i'd take two of those fuckers i'd be asleep in 10 minutes i'd wake up oh it's been four hours i take two i slept the whole day you were i mean the fact that you you put the bowl on your head four pictures like we told you we're gonna take pictures of you and you're like don't take pictures of me. And you still put it on your.

I don't want to. My brother, when he got his out, my middle brother, he came out. I was, like, expecting him to be loopy. I was, like, waiting for him to get home. And he's like, yeah, I'm fine. So I'm kind of hoping I'm there. Like, didn't face him. It probably affects people differently.

You're not going all the way under, though, are you? No. So, and they're like, yeah, we're going to give you gas. So you basically, obviously, you're not going all the way under though are you no so and they they're like yeah we're gonna give you gas so you basically obviously you're gonna feel no pain and then you're also not gonna have a care in the world yeah and then um but which amazes me because like yeah you'll be able to drive yourself home like i fucking doubt it yeah so well laughing gas laughing as you can because i used to when i was younger so laughing gas is fun as fuck because you would feel them like pushing on your teeth but you'd feel it like in your toes and shit it's weird but you're like your whole body goes numb and my old dentist the

the covers on the lights were clouds so you'd be laying there and you just feel like you're doing back flips the entire time and they're like jamming shit into your into your mouth but you feel it in your toes so added to you doing backflips and then it was like the drill that they use that yeah that would like echo like you would hear it like it sounded like an alarm because you'd be like yeah i don't like holy i don't like that. Like, are you feeling the pressure? I think maybe they might have given me too much. Maybe. But that's why I kept going back. I'm like, Mom, I'm scared.

Because I used to pass out when I got shots. Yeah. So that was my perfect excuse. Mom, I need the laughing gas because I'll pass out, and they won't be able to operate on my face. So then I used to always get the laughing gas. Now that I got to pay for it myself myself i do all my own dental work yeah i uh i don't like i've had two teeth pulled one when i was younger i had like i was starting to grow a shark tooth and like the one was like growing above it and so the baby

tooth just wasn't it wasn't it was growing so weird that it wasn't pushing the baby tooth out, so they pulled the baby tooth, and they'll numb your gum or they give you the shot. But feeling the pressure and hearing the crack, you're like, oh. That one was just being numb, and you're not having the gas to not care what's happening. Hearing that crack, i'm like that

doesn't sound right and i think like a humanly answer you're like no this is fucked up you should totally put a yawn counter on this video why did i just yawn no i did again i've done it twice oh fuck no we can't i could put a yawn going around where are we at god damn it what you're eating more of these I don't want them but they're here

text Joss see if she'll bring turkey done that's a good idea do I mean she would too you're looking at me like she would

then do it let's see if it happens she can be on the show no she's probably showering. No, she's doing the face mask thing. Yeah. Even better.

She can show up with a face mask on. Let me just die laughing. Is it like guacamole or mud? No, it's literally like clear. It's the clear skin one. You can't even tell. And then all of a sudden you look at her and she just looks like she was skydiving for seven days straight. After it or with it on no with it on how long do you literally tightens your whole face i put it on my nose one day

just because she was like just try it i'm like fuck it so i tried it put it on my nose and all of a sudden i'm like walking around like i'm like what the fuck like this shit is crazy it's like taking it's like you know like when you would take tape and like tape your forehead yeah that's what it felt like i do like the idea that her mom gives we just put one of those on and do one of these again just like watch our faces gradually just crunch but as you talk it pulls like you can't talk it'll be like crunching and like pulling the peel thing though is pretty nuts. That's so...

And it smells so good. What's it smell like? Like orange something, but it's great. Like orange dot candy? No, not even close. Yeah, why'd you go back and eat more? Because I have no self-control. The red ones aren't bad.

The yellow's the best. You know what what i need to try another yellow one but i can't believe that people created this and made this into a fucking candy clearly it's popular it's been around for a long long long time yeah but these ones suck who's like who willingly goes out and bought i mean i have one of these so someone bought it but these are still being mass produced. Who's buying these in bulk? You. No. Your mom.

I did like those when I was a kid. It's the paper candy. I really miss those. The wafers. Not cold. They still make those, don't they? I haven't had them in a long time. I don't know.

I haven't had them in a long time. I miss the Wonder Balls. See, I'm not a chocolate guy, but I did like the shit on the inside. Yeah. That's all I wanted was the stuff on the inside. It was that. That reminds me of those orange, chocolate oranges. What?

You never had those? No no it comes in an orange box it's wrapped in orange tinfoil and you literally would have to take the chocolate ball that was sliced like an orange and hit it on the counter and it would open up and then be like slices of chocolate that looked like oranges and it tasted just like an orange but it was chocolate it was so good all right i gotta look that up chocolate orange yeah you should order one but then have you tried the chili chocolate from like you can get it at like fucking walgreens lindor i think makes it or whatever it's got chili powder in it is it this thing? Yeah. Terry's Chocolate Orange. Terry. So, you can get it on Amazon.

Two colors. Oh, premium pack or... I can't believe you never had one before. I've never even seen this before. Ugh. So, I type in chocolate orange ball. This is one of the things... It says milk chocolate orange peel strips not tell me that doesn't look like dog shit it looks like yeah it looks like a

dog it kind of looks like a chocolate covered banana that's $15 for Wow chocolate balls expensive wow the chocolate ball is expensive too uh what's the matter I've never seen those when I was younger is that an Indiana thing maybe what else is that the wonder ball

that what's the other old candy that I used to always love I loved the oh nekos that was the one I said What's the other old candy that I used to always love? I loved the... Oh, Necco's? That was the one I said. The push pops. Remember where you stick your finger in it and the sucker comes out?

Yeah. Or the juicy drop pops. I never had one of those. Juicy drop pops? Really? Never had one. Where it had the juice on it? I was a Fun Dip guy.

Yeah? Really? I was hit or miss on Fun just ate the stick and then the dip i would like you know do a couple and i'm like you know this is too much work that's like i mean candy it's a crazy thing that we're even allowed to have that can you imagine like here's a sugar stick suck on it and then dip it into the sugar. It is not, if you think about it. I mean, that's disgusting. Do you eat a lot of ice cream?

Do I? No. I eat very well during the, like, weeks. Yeah, me too. I'm mostly just, you know. You make fun of me for it, though. Like, if you call me or whatever and I say I eat food, you're like, what are you, I'm at the grocery store, like, what are you doing, buying kale? I'm. Like, what are you doing? Buying kale? I'm like, well, it's in the bag.

Yeah. Cause kale is fucking for horses. You can eat healthy and skip kale. Yeah. I don't really eat a lot of kale. My mom used to make kale chips. Kale chips are good. And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me?

Kale chips are good. So are potato chips. So you eat those. If you're going to have a fucking chip, you might as well do it the right way. That's the way I look at it. Well, I don't do it as like a, I don't make kale chips. My parents are doing that no carb thing. No carb keto?

Ed's lost 15 pounds so far. That's good. Yeah. But they're not, no carbs except for like their cheat days, which are like today and basically this weekend. Yeah. But they, like if they're not doing stuff on the weekends and they're not i can tell though i'm starting i can tell though now that i've

eaten healthy enough for a long time what are we at yawn am i boring you but no you eat healthy long enough then you you have a day where it's But no, you eat healthy long enough, and then you have a day where it's shit. Like, usually Sundays, I don't give a shit what I eat. I can tell the next day that I did not put anything good in my body. Like, I almost feel like you. Like, my stomach fucking sucks. Well, see, I eat.

It's probably because I overdo it, though. Ever since I moved in with Joss, I eat way better than I have in the past two years because is it actually it's like actually made food it's not stuff out of the freezer it's not yeah well and i'm i'm we're eating a lot more deer meat because she likes it so i cook it all the time because i'm like fuck if she's gonna eat it too this is the best thing ever because normally it would be like you unfreeze this huge ass thing i can't eat it all myself and then it just you end up giving it away and i don't like microwaving deer no it's a bad smell yes and this because the smell reminds me of when you're opening the bitch yeah it's like when you're cooking it right in the beginning it's like this is not an appealing smell i don't i have i have the way to cook it and the fucking recipe, like, down. My mom never would ever, ever, ever try venison.

So I had Ed come over. Ed came here for his birthday, and I cooked dinner, and Ed wanted venison. So I made venison, and I'm like, Mom, I was going to make chicken, but I ran out of time, so you're kind of fucked. She was like, Well, I'll at least try it. She tries it. She takes a bite. She looks at all of it she tries it she takes a bite she looks off and goes wow wow like she just she's like i i'm trying to taste the gaminess and i can't

yeah and i don't marinate it nothing what is it with venison though that so many people like i won't try it like i won't eat it because well my mom's reason is she said deer are too pretty. Cows are fucking pretty. Eat cows every day. Jesus. Well, and part of it, I'm going to, I'll take the blame on some of it because the first time that I ever shot a deer, I went home and I told my mom the entire story. And I'm like, yeah. And I took a knife and I cut its fucking throat.

And then I bled it out. And then I ripped all the guts out of it. It was awesome. And she's like, my mom's sitting there like, I don't want to eat it. My son's a murderer, pretty much. Yeah, I get it. She called me a killer for like two weeks. Really?

Yeah. I think I remember this. And I think I liked that, and that's why now I just. Now you've got a bunch of dead things hanging on your wall here. Yeah, but that's good. That would have been cool if we got the deer in the background or. The coyote. The coyote. You could wear got the deer in the background. The coyote? The coyote.

You can wear the coyote over your shoulders. You want to? Sure. It's really soft. I'll wear it. You should make it in one of those. We had a coyote. I don't know if we bought it or had it made into a hat.

Yeah, I'm going to get... I don't want to make this... This is my first one with a bow. Yeah. You basically just open up the head part. Shooting a coyote with a bow is pretty crazy. Like, the guy that did this was like, you shot this with your bow,

and I pulled up a call on a YouTube video, and the sucker came right under my stand. I feel the tail. It's so soft. Joss's grandma, when I got it back, I took it over to their house to show, and Joss's grandma wore it around her neck and took a picture. See, look at that.

Now that's bougie. Fucking bougie as shit over here. We look like we got money. Not a lot of it. I look like it. Not a lot. This is nice. This will keep you warm.

Michael sitting at my bar Yeah With my coyote around his neck Hey we look like we have money The good thing is It's a coyote that's wild In the bar I did myself So none of this shit

Really cost me anything With recycled wood Labor Some of it Honestly the 2x4s Are the most expensive part Because 2x4s are like

Fucking $8 a board now They used to be two dollars i'm not a two by six like oh covid yeah i had to get i think you're fucking right i had to get two two by sixes i think two 12 footers i kind of don't want to make another screwdriver but i also don't want to exchange ice cubes or get new ones why there's a slop sink by the ice because i don't really trust you to talk by yourself into this i'll just stare at the camera i'll just dead stare at the camera and be like i i haven't looked at it at all this entire time really well a little bit are you even centered in that um i'm kind of off to the side i would say but the jack daniel sign or jim beam sign i'm guessing is right over my... Guessing?

I mean, you're looking right at yourself. You can tell. I can't see that far. You can't? Are you blind, too? I'm getting there. Dude, you are. It's bright lights.

I mean, you're walking towards the light right now. Inside's fucked up. I'm starting to run pretty quick. Oh, good lord. I'm supposed to have glasses, but glasses but i was you're nearing the end you turn 25 which means you're you round up you're 30 which means you're basically dead yeah pretty much i'm like it's all i should have my midlife crisis right now and it's literally over you can have a quarter life one i think i'm having one but well i'm i think that i'm doing alright. You're doing just fine.

I just said we look like we have money and it's all yours. You're doing just fine. Oh, shit. It's not money, though. That shit's from the fucking wild and I did this myself. But you could trade this. It has value.

It does. We look like we got value. and this wasn't it's probably you could trade this yeah it has value it does should I just say we look like we got value yeah we look like we look like we mean something I look like I should just vote the condo rocks yeah dip the tail on there suck it off I want to do a cooking show too how fun would that be no you gotta do this thing force people to like force feed venison this is what you gotta do i saw the a youtube video of these guys that have to make desserts but get no recipe so like okay you have to make brownies from scratch but you get no recipe and there's no there's no box no nothing so these guys are like uh i don't know like flour sugar

like eggs and chocolate and they're like taking chocolate sauce and like dumping it into the flour and it's like all nasty that that would be fun i i love cooking shows and i i thought about doing like online culinary school during the pandemic um i was like do you hear that i just looked away i was like what the fuck is that it's the speaker still on yeah i know that's why we put it over there i know but all i heard was the voice like that yeah i did get like suddenly get louder and i thought it was like i thought it was water it is like even that little bit has made this not feel as like uncomfortably quiet yeah which is huge um it's huge see i know how to set a fucking mood coyotes light jazz i'm light jazz what are we listening to by the way we are

listening to i will survive yeah see my ears work my eyes don't though um i'll be one of the deaf Deaf guys. So, the cooking shows. But, like, I like, there's a new one on True TV. What? None. Well, I love, they had a, it's brand new. They did a, they bring in, like, a celebrity guest, and they bring in, like, one of their favorite fast food items. So, they had Joel McHale on this Thursday, and they did a, he brought in a Portillo's hot dog and three chefs had to recreate

it and see if they can do it. They're good. Are they? Yeah. I remember I went to Dr. Dog that one time. Yeah, that wasn't good. I don't, I think, how long did that place last? About as long as every other restaurant that's been in that location has lasted. Yeah, nothing's there. A couple months. That Mexican restaurant was there for a while

but then I don't even remember. There was a Mexican restaurant there? I've also been away from here from a long for a long time me too um i feel like i'm so out of the franklin area now it's so nice like i go over there nice well i go over there and i was like oh that's new they're like yeah it's been there for two months i'm like what there's a arby's now really you know where pantheon used to be The way we're talking about it sounds like we came from a town of 50. They're like, there's a fucking McDonald's. Well, it's just. We have a grocery store.

Well, you'd have to drive to Greendale to get to any of that shit. Or Oak Creek. Yeah. Franklin had a McDonald's, a George Webb's. And a Taco Bell. And a Taco Bell and like Pizza Hut. That's a. Domino's.

Culver's. I work there. Oh, yeah. But that's not the exact opposite. Okay, fine. There's a lot more, but whatever. That area,... Domino's. Culver's. I work there. Oh, yeah. But that's not the exact opposite. Okay, fine. There's a lot more, but whatever. That area, the downtown Franklin. Yeah, downtown Franklin.

I always viewed, though, like that mall area. Like, that's basically Franklin. Yeah, but now there's an Arby's. That's a game changer. Arby's is disgusting. Actually, it's not disgusting, but I've never... Arby's is... Arby's and Chick-fil-A, I think, are like the top two fast foods.

Just because they're shit. You can't make imitation roast beef. Yeah, you can. Well, not that good. They got the meats. They got good stuff. Their brisket? You never had their brisket.

No. It's garbage, but it's good for drive-thru. How about Chick-fil-A? I think, hands down, one of the best.thru. How about Chick-fil-A? I think, hands down, one of the best. I wish we had more chicken. I don't eat fast food that much, but I wish there were more chicken places around. People love, my brother loves Raising Cane's. I've never had it.

Neither have I. Which one? Raising Cane's. Or Andrew. Where does he live? Buy one? He lives where you live. In Arizona. Oh, he lives there. Is he he live? By one? He lives where you live. In Arizona.

Oh, they have him there. Is he there now? No, but he drove to Illinois the other day to get Raising Cane's. I'm like,

it's not that good. Really? And then, or like a Popeye's or something like that. But Chick-fil-A, the only time I ever want Chick-fil-A is Sunday.

And that's so many people, though. My pleasure. My pleasure. And we're closed the day of. You guys open on Sundays? No, my pleasure. My pleasure. Like what?

That didn't even make sense. Yeah, I know. My pleasure. My pleasure. It's like, wow. This was easy. They're efficient. They're efficient as fuck, though.

I know. The few times I have gotten it, actually once in this pandemic. But, like, the line, by the way, I think Chick-fil-A and Culver's business has to have boomed during this pandemic. Because that line is stupid long at both those places. Yeah. Every day. McDonald's got shittier. Yeah.

I went there the other day and it was, I felt disgusting. And I felt gross. Yeah. I never have a hankering for that kind of food really anymore the break i like breakfast food like i want like a hash brown from there but that's about it mcchickens i'd rather just go to chick-fil-a it's a dollar you can get eight mcchickens yeah for like two sandwiches at chick-fil-a no for one true but no like the chick-fil-a line they got people it could be right now It's negative eight degrees outside right now.

They would have four people dressed up as cows just outside. Like, can we get your order? I'm like, hey, man, I'm still in the pick and save parking lot. Yeah. He goes, we just want to get it ready. I'm like, Jesus Christ. Yeah, they're good. And then, I mean, it's quick.

Uh-oh. What are we on? You on number 12? We're probably close. Close to taking that. What timeoh. What are we on? You on number 12? Probably close. Close to taking that. What time does Super Bowl start? Five?

Oh, it's got to be earlier than that. Three or four, maybe? I'm pretty sure it starts at five. I'm going to say four. I'm going to say five. Okay. I'm going to say 4.30. Two.

Pick a time. 4.30. Super Bowl. You better do it for our time zone 5 30 we're both that's even better damn i thought it was earlier we're only staying until half of my parents place because i gotta go to work in the morning yeah and i don't i like on sunday nights i like to come home and just fucking chill before i go to bed like i don't like i i that's like one of my biggest pet peeves is going somewhere and coming home and having to go right to bed yeah i hate that yeah especially now with a dog like i like to sit on the couch play with the dog for a little bit like get them all fucking not riled out or

riled up and then go to bed or like when i come home yeah i agree just like be here going to bed right away you feel like you got no time to relax and people would be like oh the sleeping is relaxed for like no but i don't know i'm relaxing while i'm sleeping like just kind of like sitting down and letting like your body just oh is i agree last, I was waking up like six times within five hours of sleep before work. That's me every day. It sucks. I don't sleep. Now I do it like probably three or four times.

Waking up? Yeah. But I wake up, I look at the clock, and I go, all right, cool. I still got three hours left. That is such a good feeling. I still got two hours and 58 minutes left, and I just keep fucking going. It is a good i still got two hours and 58 minutes left and i just keep fucking going it is a good feeling when you wake up and you're like i know i have for what at what point do you are you like fuck kind of like i i can go back to bed but it's not gonna be like a sufficient amount of time if

i have if i have two minutes or one minute i still will lay back down yeah no but like we're in your head so like you wake up it's like three you don't have to get up head. So you wake up, it's like three. You don't have to get up until six, but you wake up. Mine's at like 45. Or I'm just like, fuck, I know I'm going to wake up three more times in the next 45 minutes. I just feel like my time in the morning is really valuable because I have to get up so early to start. And then I've got to take care of the fucking dog. I mean, you chose to get the dog. I know. Not saying it in a bad way, but I do. So I wake up. Are you telling? start and then i gotta take care of the fucking dog i mean you chose to get the dog i know not

saying it in a bad way but i do so i wake up are you telling my four listeners that you don't love your dog i love my dog more than i love myself i'm just kidding but i do he's a good i like your dog more than you too i think a lot of people do and that's why i got him so you can get more friends no no so i can shoot stuff and he can go and get it for me he was the perfect when i came over last night and i didn't know everyone or like he's the i told you that he's the perfect like i could just pretend like not pretend like i just played with your dog until you know everyone was a little more like loose and whatever instead of just doing the awkward, what are you up to? How's school?

Where are you living? Do you care about any of this? How's your work? Just stupid shit like that. No one cares. That's how it always is. It's hard for me because people are like, oh, what do you do for work?

Oh, I'm a steam fitter. Oh, cool. That's what you always get nobody has no fucking clue what a steam i would rather that then well yeah because you don't get any more questions yeah just like then it's over and you want something else if i tell someone like if even if like this is the only thing i do but be like oh i have my own podcast or show and then it's a million questions like hey man listen obviously i would like you to listen but i did not come here just to talk about yeah this because then i feel like i'm just talking about myself the whole time and it gets old i need to like create a powerpoint on my phone and then anytime i run that thing i can just like

hold up my phone and be like and swipe all the questions like here you can hear what do you do let me give you this presentation while i make myself a drink yeah like i'll be over there like just go through it give me some feedback like there's a comment section at the end and go ahead and just say like oh wow this was great or this is the worst idea ever because i'm not talking to you yeah i oh god i i couldn't i i think i would rather have yours we're just like oh okay cool and then just move on like don't know what it is yeah it's hit or miss they don't know what it is and then they start asking questions you're like fuck now i gotta now this is now i'm steam fitters for dummies well no and that's the hard part is that half the shit that i do is hard to explain to anyone that

doesn't know anything about construction work or you know what i'm saying yeah that's why the easiest thing for me to always say is i'm a pipe welder we need to not do those conversations anymore it's like listen just like you show up with it like everyone like the hello my name is it should be hello i do this and that's it like you can just read it on their chest if you want to bring something up like oh and you guys match we all get that you can talk about it yeah just like steam fitter on the forehead yeah please ask no questions yep a piece of blue tape right across your ass doesn't need to be tattooed i was wondering what was digging into my neck i kind of forgot this was around me is there a claw on it still yep

is there really yeah no way yeah i didn't know it's a nail i told him to keep the feet the paws on there and he cut the paws out but because of covid it took like seven months to get that fucker back so i'm guessing it got gross there's two of them let me see them i've never seen that i wonder what they look like yeah like i've had this for so long and i don't even oh it's so warm you're like radiating thank you luke luke does not like this thing very much really well he wants luke's his dog Like radiating heat. Thank you. Luke does not like this thing very much. Really? Well, he wants it. Luke's his dog.

Oh. Yeah. What? Luke is my dog. Luke is your doggy. Holy fuck. Oh, that's the pad. That's the foot pad.

Yeah. And then he did leave a little claw in there. Gross. Holy fuck. Those are sharp. Who do you think trims coyote's nails in the woods i always like the deer there's a i think they just naturally get filed down from walking walking yeah you see where my arrow went in and out no oh yeah it's a nice rip that's where it went in that's where it went out man that was stretched wrong um that's that always amazes me that i mean i get it like when we have

uh your girlfriend's parents were talking about trimming the dog's nails like yeah these are wild animals no one's trimming their nails for them like but it's like floors and it hurts and you gotta think too like wild animals aren't walking on hardwood. Yeah, no, I get it. But for a lot of times, it's not the end of the world for them. Yeah, no, but it's just something, you know. It's amazing the difference between like a house. Guess who's going with him.

Luke might be going to the spot tomorrow. Really? Yeah, his first spot eight because i'm a bitch and i'm too scared to cut his nails because i did it once and i had to do it while i was sleeping and i was sweating like crazy trying to cut his nails why because you're afraid he's gonna like claw you but no i'm just scared that i'm gonna fuck it up and i don't think i did it right the first time anyways because you're supposed to file them and i'm like bitch i'm not i don't even do that so much that's, bitch, I don't even do that.

That's the other thing. I don't even do that to my own fingernails. Yeah, I haven't legit cut my, I just, I pick my nails. I like rip my nails. That bothers me.

I don't like that. When you rip them or I just, I'll go like this and then they come off. My nails are too thick. I don't bite my nails. I need to cut my nails.

I literally just rip them like this. But my hands get so fucked. I can't do that. I can't rip them mine are way too thick to rip there's no way oh the amount of times i've ripped nails i'm like oh well that's way more than i wanted to come yeah and it'll like go up and then you're like oh and then it goes like it goes so deep you're like i can't rip that off i have to wait yeah and now

you got something just hanging there it's not a good process no but not i've never like if i see a long nail it's never like i'm near a nail clipper then i'm like oh i can cut this and there's something satisfying about kind of ripping it but have you ever ripped your hangnails off or do you cut your hangnails off i've ripped everything off like i've probably personally cut my own nails less than 50 times in my life really yeah geez you are disgusting i mean look at my hands are fine i'm kidding okay it's probably more than that because when we were younger and our parents were like cut our nails yeah like that yeah but me on my own i can't rip mine i just can't do it my i i cut mine probably once a week because they get so long so fast i'm a very protein rich diet

do you yeah i guess you do i do i have i have a very good diet now chicken tenner all right walk me through a day eating what i eat okay walk, walk me through what you used to eat at the apartment versus what you eat now with your girlfriend. Okay, what I used to eat at my apartment is I would have, like, in the morning. So I really wouldn't eat breakfast, and I still really don't eat breakfast. I just don't. I don't eat until, like, 10, 12 anyways. And that's why, because I'm used to it for work, I get up at 5, I eat lunch at 10.

Is this now? So that's my breakfast. Is this now? Yes. Okay, yeah. I do the same thing. But it was the same back then. I just didn't eat.

So when I would come home from work, I would have probably some potato chips or whatever. This is my apartment. So I would eat some chips, and then I would fall asleep. I'd sleep from about three until about what was what was what was your 10 o'clock lunch though my 10 o'clock lunch would be whatever the gas station was serving that day so and a lot of it it would either be lunchables because i try to stay away from the sandwiches because a lot of times they were really shitty yeah um but a lot of the time to andrew my roommate he was working for dominoes so he would get pizzas and i would just buy a

pizza and then split it up for my lunches meal planning meal prep made easy yep two pieces brought to you by dominoes you take all right pieces you crust you put the toppings together and then you throw them in a ziploc bag and then you can you can uh microwave it better and all the but all the stuff melts together but you just eat it all in one okay so we got lunch is either meal prep dominoes or gas station lunchables that's how it was and then you would come home potato chips nap dinner wake up and i'd be like fuck what am i gonna do so i would go to sendix which is the sendix on the go and i would see what they had for whatever the fuck i could throw in my air fryer okay you'd have what oh yeah i could throw in my air fryer pretty much so i get like frozen wings or frozen the chicken nuggets that you and

i murdered a bag of well they had those meal deals that I always got, too. Yeah, those aren't bad. Those were good. Or it's like a meatloaf or a... Yeah, it was like a rotisserie chicken with beans and rice. But also feeds. It's supposed to be like a family of four, and you're knocking it down in one night. No, so then I could do that for lunch.

Okay. Like the next day or whatever. But I, in the last stretch of things, when I i was moving out i really got into those little totino's pizzas from 7-eleven they're tiny yeah like but they're delicious and in the air fryer oh it's like the best pizza you know good pizza now is we go to uh costco and you get these uh things uh naan bread mini naans yeah put your oven to like 450 and just you put any pizza topping you want you just make mini pizzas we did that i would crack an egg on it in just 10 minutes i'm like this is like a breakfast it's perfect i've never had a non

before until i moved in here with her and it was like they're good two weeks ago yeah we made pizzas um okay what do you eat now, though? Also, by the way, we should add usually how many beers a night? I would say maybe like four. Give or take. If I'm drinking beers. Yeah. Plus a whiskey.

Yeah. But that's not – I wouldn't say that's every day. No. I would say four. I don't drink whiskey if I, okay, so this is how it usually goes. I come home from work, and I'll be like, all right, I'm having a beer, because I just want to chill. So I drink a beer, and then I usually sit on my phone for a minute. See, dude, I'm literally, I'm ripping my nail now.

That's gross. But I end up falling asleep on the couch. Then I wake up. And then I usually have some shit I got to do around here. So then I'll do that. And then I usually have a beer with dinner. And then I'll have like two beers while we watch a movie or something. Yeah.

It's healthy beers. They're good for you. Yeah, that's it. It's life. That's a good mindset. Yeah. That's why I haven't gotten COVID yet. Because I'd fucking kill it with everything else yeah that's it all right so now you go from gas state let's put it this way no breakfast gas

station lunch potato chips snack oh how many beers a day in my apartment or now the apartment oh that's a different story yeah we're still on what you did in a normal day at the apartment okay i thought we were we were going back to the the now I'm a homeowner and I'm living with somebody. No, we'll get there. How many beers do you have a day when you're in your apartment? Too many. Okay. Plus gas station lunch, Sendix on the go, Totino's pizza.

Okay, great. Now, what is your... Okay, let's put it this way. Totino's pizza Okay great Now What is your Okay let's put it this way You're at the bottom here Of like I mean you could just remove One of those meals

And you could say You're eating healthier I don't know if I'm at the bottom But notice how The only vegetables I had Was if I got supreme Totino's pizza Exactly Yeah

It's a little diced up Like you got half a black olive Well I had a lot of tomatoes Because pizza sauce Where's the trash i eat a lot of uh i have to pee really bad oh on this well on this when we're done when you're done tell me how you've improved your diet all right let me get to it then so my new diet now that i moved in here and my girlfriend moved in with me we eat we eat really good she's she never used to cook uh like at her house because she lived with her parents so her mom is like a great cook and they

would always be cooking but she kind of like watched her learn from her some i don't know who the fuck she learned from but it's good it's working yeah and i'm fine with that it's really not hard to beat what i ate before so but now well you weren't cooking you were microwaving we always have like chicken and rice and uh she a vegetable makes broccoli every time we eat dinner and then i have a salad every day too every meal i have a salad broccoli it's like chicken rice is that's like our main that's like the go-to like what are we gonna do for dinner okay we're gonna do that oh yeah it goes a lot you guys are eating like your uh meal prepping bodybuilder on a budget well that's me yeah yeah look at me i mean i mean yo yeah it's weird i weird. Okay, so that's dinner.

What are you still doing for lunches? Because I don't feel like that's leftovers. Nope. Well, sometimes if there is. We're only cooking for two. Yeah. So there's usually not a ton of leftovers, and if there is, I take them. But we always have deli meat on standby.

So I usually have turkey and ham, or I switch it up. So sometimes I have pepperoni, salami, whatever. So this week, or last week, I had turkey and salami. And pepper jack cheese. And mayo with a little bit of pepper. Jam that sucker in a Ziploc. And then Cheez-Its as a side. I love how proud you are that you're making your own packed lunch.

No, I don't make it. She makes it. I don't even make any of the food. Man owns a house, still has his lunch pack for him. Whatever. That's the best way to do it. Yeah. No, go for it.

But some Cheez-Its and usually a couple waters. Go in my lunchbox. I'm proud of you. That's way better. Yeah. Yet you're still shitting four times in 45 minutes. That was just this morning. Now everyone's going to listen to this, and Joss is going to be like, what the fuck?

She's like, I don't want to hear about this. You shitting four times in 45 minutes? Yeah. Or it's going to make it sound like all she does is cook for you no she does a lot of other things she's my emotional support animal you just call your girlfriend an animal a beautiful one i'm gonna clip that right there and throw that one right on instagram no she it's cool. It's fun. We have fun.

Say that with a smile on your face. I was. I was getting emotional. I was trying not to cry. Michael, I was trying not to cry. You're, like, staring at your drink like I'm questioning every decision I just made. No, I'm trying not to cry. See?

See? Now we just have, like like squeaky brakes. Alright, yeah. If we're just making noises, we need to end this. Good, because I got to pee so bad. Thank you for doing this, buddy. This was fun. I think we could do this one again.

I like this setup. This is fun. This is easy. I still have yet to do one in the garage, but we'll figure it out. It's gonna be weird because I feel like I'm just gonna be staring like this the whole time. I looked at the camera like once.

That's fine. I mean, this is just us having a conversation. It's not like we're having to see the microphones. We'll figure it out.