Fat Chance Podcast - Ep.48 - Avery Rapier

Episode Date: February 10, 2022

Avery is a Milwaukee based comedian and personal trainer. He has recently opened for Charlie Berens as well!

You don't have an intro? Sure, I'll start. No, I might just start the episode. Oh, just to get going? No, I don't have like a welcome to this shit. I just thought you meant like me doing a monologue. I was like, yeah, what the hell do I talk about? I think it's cringy when someone's like, welcome back to whatever, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, I can't do it.

Well, it makes it seem like it's like a radio, like where there's like a commercial interruption. Yeah, it's not. We're in the basement of a karaoke bar right now. Yeah, it's rough. This is a good setting. This looks like, by the way, can you see yourself well enough? Yeah, I think so. I don't have my glasses on, so I'm kind of squabbly, but I think I look okay. Just face the camera. That's the only one.

No, you're good. There he goes. We've got to make sure when we clip this, people see your face. Clip it! Sorry. No, I used to say it when I do solo episodes when I don't have a guest. I'm like, this looks like a ransom video. This 100% looks like a ransom video now.

Yeah, this is terrifying, actually. I'm excited for when the employees come in here and they have no idea that we're here because they have to come down here and get the ice machine from like, or need to get ice from the ice machine. Oh, this is going to be an audio nightmare. Yeah, it's going to be an audio nightmare.

But, you know, we're here, we're queer, and we stole a steer, So it's all good. Exactly. Evan, it looks like Evan was like, you know what? I'm going to keep these two for the hell of it. And we just decided to entertain ourselves. Yeah, well, so I called Evan. So basically we were going to do this at my place.

And then my heater, my furnace went out. And then I called Evan. I was like, hey, can we do it in the basement? He's like, you can if you want. It's kind of a shit show down there. But he's like, help yourself. So I came here fashionably early to clean up a little bit. And I was fashionably late.

Fashionably late. That's OK. Yeah, you costed me a date with a hot Jewish girl, BTW, Michael. OK. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was very excited about it. I'm going to blame this one on the snow. Yeah BTW, Michael. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was very excited about it. I'm going to blame this one on the snow.

Yeah. No, it was rough. It was rough. I didn't think it was going to snow. The time got away from me, and I was like, I should probably get – because I was like, I should leave early to see if – so I can set up so we can start at 6

because I didn't know if you had to be anywhere. Oh, sure. I was like, maybe you got to be somewhere. And then I was like, oh, fuck. It's 520. It's snowing. I should probably leave at least 10 minutes earlier. So wrong.

Where do you live? New Berlin right now. Oh, shit. That's a haul then. Damn, man. So I texted you. I was like, I'm going to be a little late at like at 6. I'm like, I'm hoping this doesn't take another half hour.

Oh, damn. Yeah, it was a nightmare out there. It's OK. I mean, it's Wisconsin in the winter. I don't know why every winter I'm surprised by it. But it's like every summer I love it so much. I love it so much. I'm just like, this place, I could live here for the rest of my life.

And then it hits October, and I'm like, I fucking hate it here. And then it's just like, I've got to get out. The minute fall isn't fun anymore, I'm like, this sucks. Well, see, I get pre-seasonal, seasonal depression, like, in fall. Because I anticipate. You know it's coming. I know it's coming. I know it's coming. And then it's even like in August.

I'm just like, well, the best is over now. So it's like Sunday for you kind of. Yeah. So you're like, I know Monday's tomorrow. Even though I don't have to do anything today, I know Monday's tomorrow. But it's a whole month of Mondays. Yeah. It's a whole month of Mondays and it just spirals backwards.

But it's all good. Seasonal depression is fucking real though. No, it is. It's not sunny here. Well well okay here's the problem it's sunny when it's fucking negative 10 out and then anytime it's above freezing it's gray as shit and i don't somebody explained it to me uh the other day and i forgot what it was exactly what you're talking about because i've told friends isn't there like you're crazy i'm like no i'm not. If it's, when you wake up and it's no clouds in the sky, I'm like, it's fucking cold outside.

You know it's cold outside. It's going to hurt to breathe. It's going to hurt so bad. You're good. I'm just checking my thing. Yeah, I'm just, you know, I'm terrible at, you know, producing this shit. Oh, yeah, well, I'm an idiot. That's why when you're, like, setting it up, I'm like, do you need help?

Please say no because I don't know how to help. Oh, yeah. that's the thing well like i a year ago i'd be like i have no idea what the fuck i'm doing now i know a little more so what made you get into doing podcasts man you got a little setup here this is it was my way of pushing myself into doing stand-up oh interesting okay so it's like i knew i wanted to do this for a while. And I kept telling myself, oh, you'll go next week. Go next week. Right. And then it didn't happen.

Then pandemic hit. I'm like, oh, I have an excuse. They're not open, which is dumb. Did you do comedy before the pandemic at all? No. No? Okay. For some reason, I thought you maybe came around once or twice right before the pandemic.

So before the pandemic, the first place, because i wanted to check out the scene first okay so we uh my friend jake and i came to this bar actually i was like i think they have open mic here on fridays let's go check it out and we came on a night where i was there was like no one here oh sure death night like everyone bombed i'm like this sucks i'm like i think i could do this if everyone here is like this everybody. And I'm like, I think I could do this. If everyone here is like this. Everybody sucks here. I'm funnier than this guy. Then like a year later, because I had this going and like I have a question I ask at the end of everything. Each episode, it differs from like season to season.

But my question at that time was, what's something you have to do before your next birthday? Like something you can do realistically, but you know you're not doing it just because you're telling yourself not to do it. Oh, sure. And mine was stand-up. So I did it two days before I turned 25. So this was my way of like, because I would write stuff on my notes. I wanted to do it.

And I was like, see if you can get some of it out and then just do this i started with uh this is the second one i've done technically second podcast yeah so okay i did a different one called tending a lisp tending a lisp yeah nice yeah do you have a lisp no but so i had a co-host who did okay and we met while i was bartending so i was like this is a perfect name i mean it's literally perfect name. That is a good one. But he quit. He's like, I don't have time for it anymore. So I was like, I'll just do my own. Could you understand him?

Oh, yeah. I definitely can understand him. It wasn't a terrible list, but it was like, let's make fun of it. Yeah, yeah. Because we can. I'm all about making fun of people with disabilities. That's like my favorite thing to do. Why not?

Just kidding. But, you know, like. No, that's cool, man. That's cool you got into it. So you actually did the podcast before you know like uh no that's cool man that's cool you got into so you actually did the podcast before you ever did comedy that's interesting a lot of people do it the other way around exactly i knew i wanted to like talk for hopefully a living one day right and so i was like if i can do this and i know i can do this because i already had some of the equipment i've had the equipment since 2019 two microphones i didn't get cameras till a year and a half ago okay or last year started last year um but yeah i did do it kind

of ass backwards no that's cool i mean i i think it's probably better that way because then you get used to talking in like an open format exactly used to saying your thoughts out loud and uh you know hearing yourself hearing yourself which is exhausting i'm gonna dread every every minute of watching this podcast i'll probably tune out 30 seconds and be like okay it's whatever i'm numb to it now like watch the clips the first couple times i did it i was like i i would have ums i would be like this gotta be perfect so the first episode was just audio and i would look at the lines which i need to bring this down um but i look at the lines and i tend there's a gap i would just like go and delete it so i just get rid of arms i'm like what the fuck am i doing like this isn't

natural yeah it's an audible pause like an um is just like a uh it's the same thing like when you're on stage and the guy says fuck like six times yeah fuck is just an um but they're just saying it out of frustration because they can't think of the next word that they're trying to say so it turns into like the notepad and it's like oh yeah geez um okay no i wanted so i wanted to start with this so now that we brought the podcast and stuff but so because i do this and we had a few videos do well i've had a little bit of a following on like tiktok so i've got weird dms from some people i got one this morning um that i like sometimes you don't get the notification in the requests or like you don't get the notification if they request to message you because you don't follow them back oh sure yeah so i just saw i had a request and it was just like a dude that said yo and so i'm like i want to interact with people because i was like i hopefully they keep listening

right so i just sent back this he sent me this two days ago by the way and it's just yo just yo so i just said what's up i shit you not 10 seconds later he goes not much just working from home oh boy big fan cute i'm like okay uh. Okay. Like, I really appreciate it. How old are we talking here? I don't know. He's got a private account. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Didn't see a profile picture or anything like that. Well, I can see that. I'll show you it after this. Okay, cool. And if he actually is a big fan, congratulations. You made it on the podcast. But so I'm like, nothing much. Just working from home.

Big fan. I'm like, oh, ah okay i appreciate you listening how did you find the show i'm curious where i'm like reaching people the most because tiktok what's your venmo okay i was like uh okay i'm like it's just my name and i was like michael kuski because and my name's like who he dm so it's like not like i'm giving him new information sure and the worst you can do is send me money it's not like you can take it from me and I go why he just goes by Venmo do would you send me pictures of your ass whoa okay I was just like nope and he goes oh sorry and that's basically the extent of

it well he's like sorry my bad read this wrong I'm like what the fuck did you read like yeah what like you started this with yo and i said what's up and you're like if i venmo you will you send me pics of your ass that is so crazy and i didn't reply to the my bad and 10 minutes later he goes let me know if you change your mind you could just send him generic like google images asses so and then just like save it and then send it to him and make some quick money. So I screenshotted it and I sent it to two of my buddies. And one of them was like, good to know you're finally making money off the podcast. In cavity.

And then I was like, yeah, I didn't think it'd start this way. And the other one was like, you want to just send him pictures of my ass? Why not? We can make some dough out of this if you don't care. I'm not sending pictures of my ass over not we can make some hell out of this if you don't care i'm not sending pictures of my ass over the internet right now but also i was thinking about it what if he offered like what would be the number for you to send it an ass an ass pick yeah like let's say i'll do it for the story for the story i was like all right for the story i'm thinking about it right if my

face doesn't have to be in it yeah but is it like one of these things exactly so like if i have to turn around yeah there's money involved there's that's quadruple digits like high quadruple if not uh five whatever the word for five is fifth temple fifth five five digits i'm talking about 10 grand, that's what I'm saying Like four digits is like nine thousand thousand. Yeah, I would do it for five digits, but that's about it What if he actually just like a two? If you listen, I mean we're only ten minutes in so hopefully you've listened to this hopefully your attention span Is there or else you're not a real fan buddy, and you're just really buying Michael I want to put some serious money down i'd consider it dude true story uh one time when i was in high school well a bunch of times when i was in high school there was this old surgeon uh and i grew up in a really small town so there was

one surgeon like he was the guy uh and he would have me house it his condo when he'd go to florida and so we would like throw parties because we're in high school. You'd throw ragers. And he had like a photocopy machine in his like living room. And so we would just get hammered and take pictures, like photocopy our ass, our dicks and all that stuff and then like post them on the wall.

And then he, fast forward like 10 years, he gets arrested for child pornography. Please tell me they're not from your picture so then i'm like did i fucking did he just like not get rid of these and then they find these pictures somehow but apparently they were on his email so he was like a like straight up like already was yeah he was like a straight up pedo that means that man was like that's why he kept asking you to do the condo because he saw saw those pictures. He saw those pictures. He was like, I like it. That's a good hog on that guy.

Um, but then I also think like maybe I fed the fire a little bit, you know, like you definitely fed the fire. But then I felt bad. Cause like I, uh, was classmates with his son.

Cause it's small at school. Everybody knows each other. And then, so he gets arrested. I want to say on like a Friday. And then these kids, his name was Kevin. i'm not gonna say his last name but kevin and his sister sarah uh were gone by that monday and never seen them

since they deleted facebook all that shit i wonder what they're up to now i would too yeah i mean i get it dude if your dad's like a chomo man that's fucked up but dude you definitely fed that fire i mean there was like a little flame and he's like i wonder if they're into me too and then he comes back from florida and there's hundreds of pictures of i know but i've been like hairy since i was like 13 so it's like is this a grown man's hog or is this like he's got like fetishes for like hairy children no that is that is probably like a weird subcategory of child pornography. Probably, yeah. Like oddly hairy.

Yeah, but like they don't have pecs yet. It's just all abs still, you know. It just looks like carpet. Yeah. Just carpet right over. No bumps, no nothing. A little, little penis coming right out of the bush. That's a good one.

Oh, good Lord. This is a good start to the podcast. This is a great start. We got people doing stuff upstairs. Oh, yeah. If you can't hear by now, we're going to to start screaming into these mics i will scream um i i want so i like you were looking up this before or the show before we did this i looked up your instagram a little more you open for charlie barron's yeah a few times yeah i want to hear about that because that's fucking awesome um okay yeah so how So how do I start from the beginning?

How did it happen? Well, okay, so originally I trained, you know, Ton Johnson. So I'm a personal trainer for my day job, and I run my own company down in Walker's Point. So I trained my buddy Ton, who's another comedian here, who's opened up and done videos for Charlie in the past. So far, too. Yeah, hilarious guy, one of the best guys in the Midwest.

But so he posted a video of us boxing, and then Charlie messaged Tan being like, I want to do that. And he's like, oh, Avery's a comic. You should just train with him. And then John Barron, Charlie's little brother, does the open mic scene with us. And Charlie came out to watch his little brother one night, and I ran into Charlie, and he's like, hey, you're Avery, the boxing guy, right?

And I was like, yeah. And then so he gave me his number, and then we kind of worked from there, started training together. He came out to see me at a couple shows throughout the months that we were training with each other. And then he had just asked me, because he started his Midwest tour, he's like, hey, can you open up for me? Because he knew I'm from Rhinelander.

And we had a show in Wausau. He's like, hey, can you open up for me in Wausau? What's up, man? Hey, man. Sorry. We got people coming in. Welcome to the podcast. Welcome.

He's leaving. He's got shit to do. But yeah, so that's basically it. I just built a relationship with him through personal training and coaching him and all that stuff, trying to get him in shape. We got the whole squad coming down here now. The whole squad. You guys want to say hi? Yeah.

We got to squeeze through here. This is going to be fun. This is going to be fun. This is going to be good. I'm going to keep talking so there's not dead air. Who cares? This isn't professional at all. My sister's black.

My father's dead. My brother's gay. I have AIDS. That's the ice machine in the back. That's the ice machine. I told you about the ice machine beforehand. That's all right. That might be where the light came from last time.

Oh, yeah. That makes sense. We could have done it in there. I'm pretty sure that's Evan's sex dungeon, to be completely honest. It's like, yep, definitely. Oh, good lord. That's fun. I hope the snow clears up a bit so we have a good crowd tonight I know, I'm actually kind of relieved

the hot Jew cancelled with me, because I have a feeling it's going to be dead as shit tonight and then I'm just going to do comedy for comics that have heard all my shit before it's demoralizing I love leaving here on Friday and you perform to people

That's a big thing Maybe we should bring up during the podcast During comedy There's a lot of people that pander to the other comedians Especially in the open mic scene And those guys They'll tend to get local work Because they're all friends with each other

But it kind of stops there I don't think it's healthy either no it's not healthy because you're like pandering for the people in the back of the room yeah but you know like i i like to make my jokes for people i don't know about you but i got into comedy to make other people everybody laugh you know like don't get me wrong i would like to make the other comics laugh right that's part of it but also, they hear everything all week. Right. So you have to say something super fucked up to get, like, a rise out of it. Exactly.

And some of those nights it gets a little rough. And then those things, and then that doesn't work on an actual audience. I have to, like, slump down right now until he comes back. But, yeah, no, I agree. That's why I really enjoy having, I hope I have a good audience for the showcase as well. I think there should be a decent amount of people. Yeah, is this your first comedy show? Yeah.

Ooh, this is exciting, dude. It is exciting. This is exciting. Like, I was caught off guard because Evan messaged me right after I got off. Bro, you're good enough. I didn't even try – like, I don't – I was curious to, like, like why what the fuck the hold up was because i mean in my opinion you're funnier than some of the i'm not gonna say names but like no i appreciate that than some of the other newer comics that are getting spots left and right i appreciate well

i by no means do i want to start any beef with anyone because i have no beef i do fuck everybody um no i'm just kidding uh it's not why doing this either. But I think part of the reason, too, is the first couple times, like, first month or two I came around here, I talked to no one. Yeah, I know. No one. I know. And I always kind of wanted, like, I try to include everybody. Yeah. But then, like, I feel weird going up to a stranger and being like, hey, join us, you know?

Exactly. Well, that's the thing is that's. I won't say it needs to happen, and I've said this a few times on here, but it's like the equivalent of trying to break into a friend group and you don't have a friend on the inside. And everybody else is already friends. Exactly. So when you go to someone else's school,

like when you were in college, did you go to college at all? Yeah, I dropped out. Thanks for bringing it up. You're like, probably why we're doing this. My degree means nothing. Did you go to college at all? Yeah, I dropped out. Thanks for bringing it up. Probably why we're doing this. My degree means nothing. Why I'm doing this. But if you visited a friend at their college,

and you had that friend there, and they introduced you to all their friends. Then you're all homies. Then you're into that group already. Imagine going to a different college and being like, who wants to hang out with me? I know. Because I also know my personality.

My personality is going to piss a lot of people off sometimes. I don't know about all that. You seem like a friendly enough guy. I think I'm friendly, yeah. Now that I moved this back, he's going to come right out. But I can be a lot sometimes. What do you mean just like direct oh yeah me too yeah so which well I think why I like talking to you like they're

like in the people that have been on so far I have been the people that have like reached out and said like basically come join us yeah the Dax a year be like hey do you want to do the podcast no i saw you're doing this and it seemed pretty good so i'm excited to do it i uh it's fun yeah at the minute like when i started too i was like at the end of the day this is just me having drinks and just recording what i do when i drink i know which like it shouldn't be pressure then but for whatever reason it's just like i'm shitting blood up here i hate myself it feels like a first date almost it does like you gotta you gotta kill but the first couple thinking

that's that was i hated that too is my head for a while i went through like probably like two months of like when i was doing episodes i was like all right when you're about to talk make sure it's quick enough so you can fit into a three-minute video on either TikTok or a 59-second video on Instagram. Oh, sure. Instead of just being a natural conversation, I was like, do it for this. I'm like, this is not what it's supposed to be for. No. If you get good clips organically, then it's better.

It's way better. Way better. Because then I could tell looking back, and I was like, you're trying to fit this in. You are trying to fit this in. Right, right, right. It's squeezing in. It's not organic yeah and that bothers the hell out of me when i'm trying too hard so how many episodes do you think

you've gotten on this bad boy i know how many i've done this will be so tight and so i break it up into seasons so every 16 episodes is a season you are actually the finale for season three wow in the basement of the basement of the high note. In the basement of the high note. And we will never leave here. This is going to be great. No, Evan's going to lock us back up after our hour of freedom. Yeah, so you're the end of season three. So 48 for this.

That's pretty good. And then I did 16 of the other show. Okay. So you got a couple under your notch. Like our notch is under your belt, though. Like, this will be episode technically 64 I've done. Damn, man. That's pretty good.

Of everything, yeah. It's a lot. So, like, when did you, like, decide, like, now's the time to jump the gun on comedy? I think it's, like, a quarter-life crisis. Sure. Well, here's the thing. I was 25 when I started as well. So, when I...

Well, I wanted to say i started when i was 24 that's why i did it before something about like don't do it when you turn 20 do it before you turn 25 kind of thing sure um however i've known i wanted to do this for a while it was admitting to myself i wanted to do it i think so like i went to school originally to be an engineer really yeah i did a year and a half of it i had a mental breakdown like a full-blown what kind of engineer uh mechanical oh shit yeah um i had a full-on panic attack called my mother i'm like i can't do this and then switched my majors to business and tv film and radio and even in the back of my home like i'm never gonna use anything i do here but i was

like building connections and stuff like that i guess which is nice but right it literally it was like it's dumb but yeah so i was just like telling myself all right you want to do this don't worry basically worry what other people think now i can't i love it i absolutely right well business and media is a good outlet for somebody who gets into comedy or a good degree for somebody who gets into comedy because you know the business because there's a whole other aspect of it it's like it's show business right like so you gotta be paid like that's what uh who is it rich the more yeah rich to more because he asked me at bremen once and he's like have you been booked yet i said no and he goes first of all i did not mean that as like have you been booked yet kind of like oh like kind of like in a negative way

he meant it like you have he told me he's like you have a few good minutes i could see you being booked relatively soon and that meant like the world to me yeah rich is a veteran dude 10 years plus in the game and like his comp like there are a few like when you when you started did you have a few comics that you're like if one of them gave me a compliment, you'd kind of feel like I'm on the right track kind of thing? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, so, like, he was one of them where, like, I got off one set and he just gave me a fist bump. He was like, that was pretty good. I was like, all right, that wasn't actually bad then.

No, you're good, man. Because, like, you know he's a veteran. He's been around. He's seen it all. He's like, I must have looked comfortable. I wasn't, like, shaking or anything like that. I's a veteran he's been around he's seen it all he's like it looked i must have looked comfortable i wasn't like shaking or anything like that like that's great but um where was i going with this before dude i lose my train of thought rich uh hit you complimented you you hated yourself oh yeah i still do you didn't first show but didn't get booked on the show i don't I don't know where you were going

I don't either I'm gonna look back and be like You idiot Yeah I know I did that All the time as well Where did we start with this conversation? I don't fucking know dude I'm 50 milligrams deep

In an edible right now You're asking me for Or are you gonna shake again Like when you took that At Bremen And got on Were you actually feeling it? Dude that was

Thanks for walking right in front of the cameras. Appreciate you. I have a hot pocket. I didn't even see the camera. Hey, yeah. Walk on right through there again. That's cool. Thank you.

From here on out, every episode will be here. No. Yeah. That night at Bremen I shouldn't have taken That much Cause it like Hit hit

I like taking them And then like With a half hour Before I go on stage You know So like I start feeling giggly But like the demons Haven't entered yet

I got to Bremen Late that night Had to sign up Super late And then The demons Had taken control Is basically what had happened.

I haven't been high on stage yet. I wouldn't. I wouldn't start doing it until like about a year. Yeah. It makes me a little nervous because I know what, like if I drink and then get high, it's like we were talking about before. I have multiple conversations.

Sure. So like, I could be like, if we go out drinking, this girl's falling apart over here we go out drinking and then i'm just gonna move forward let everyone know sorry about all this chaos guys this was my idea to get you guys into the high note i mean that's what it's for yeah like there's's like there's usually extra pads. We just got to clean it up. We did move the podcast studio a little bit. I'm just going to not break eye contact with this camera.

I don't know what the hell we were talking about, Rich. I don't either. Okay, well. Jesus. I forgot. It's one of those like what kind of door is that where it's just on the floor? Latched door. Latched door? It just falls down.

That's why it's locked. They weren't mad at us. I think they were mad at us. They're probably pissed. I'd be pissed, dude. Actually, one time. Actually, I'm not going to tell that story on the podcast. But yeah, I'll dabble with the edibles.

You don't really do edibles too much, though. You said five-ish milligrams. Five. Oh, that's it, yeah. You don't really do edibles too much, though. You kind of talked about it. You said you do, like, five-ish milligrams. You get a little weird. Five to ten. Five to ten, yeah. We got to get you weird one night. Yeah.

We got to get you all weird. Here's the thing. I have been. I want to tell this story on stage. I'll tell it to you afterwards because I want to turn it into a joke. And I'm trying to get better at that and not just, like, wasting things I think could be a joke on this. Oh, no. Say it on this. That's no. Say it on this and then if people that's like true say it on this and then like your fans

the people the listeners will listen back. It's basically the first time I was like high high. Hot pockets done. Hot pockets done. She's gonna come back. Yep. So first time I smoked was in high school. Got high in my friend's basement. Didn't really know I was high. Apparently it was high because we ate Costco-sized amounts of everything. Hell yeah, dude. Hot pockets, son. Your hot pocket is ready.

Hi, that's what I came for. We should have just gotten it for you. She walked underneath the table. You got irresponsibly high, I've gotten it for you. She walked underneath the table. So... You got irresponsibly high, ate Costco amounts of food. Yeah, I wouldn't even think I was irresponsibly high because I didn't feel like I was high. Sure. Just felt good?

Giggly? Yeah, we watched Despicable Me. Oh, a great film. I didn't think it was funny, though, so I didn't even think I was that high. I think I just got, like, munchy high. Oh, okay. I also probably didn't even smoke it correctly. correctly yeah there was a lot of that in high school a lot of fuckers so then i didn't i was like i really didn't have a desire to smoke i

didn't drink in high school wait how old are you brother i'm 25 so when you're in high school did they have schwag i have no idea what the fuck you have no idea what that is oh man i'm older okay so i'm 31 so we hadweg, which is like a brick. A fucking brick of weed. Like, you can get, like, a pound for, like, 800 bucks. But it sucked. Like, there were so many beaners in it. So many, like, stems. Like,

a stem, like, literally the size of, like, this cord would be in it. It's just insane. And it wasn't good. But if you, like, and you'd get sleepy right away from it, you wouldn't even you know, like sometimes when you smoke, you get sleepy like an hour after or something. This year gets sleepy in like immediately. Yeah.

So we'd call it like shwagonitis. You just get sleepy from smoking. But it's good. I mean, it didn't taste very good. But then like you guys, your generation just passed all that stuff. Every time I talk to like 25, 25, 26-year-olds and younger. See, I don't know enough about it because I've, like, so I've never. First time I bought weed was legally.

Whoa. Yeah, isn't that crazy? So I was lucky enough in college I was everyone's bartender. Okay. So. Where'd you go to school? Madison? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. So I never let my friends pay for drinks. everyone's bartender. Where'd you go to school? Madison? Yeah. I'd never let my friends pay for drinks. My barber and I had a hookup, basically. I would still tip him because I felt bad, but he'd be like, you don't pay for a haircut. I don't pay for drinks at the bar. I'm like, fine with me. I don't fucking care.

It doesn't cost either one of us anything to give anything away. I mean, it costs the owner of the bar. I was going to say, how'd that job go? Never got fired. Really? Hell yeah, dude. That's hilarious. I got a raise there once.

Wow. For stealing from the inventory. Well, that was his problem. Sorry, Bill. He was all like by hand inventory. Oh, yeah. So it wasn't like on the computer. So it was like, oh, we're down nine more bottles of vodka than we should be.

Yikes. Based on whatever. Are they still in business? So I never had to, like, pay. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They're one of the best bars in Madison. Oh, okay.

Hell yeah. So I never had to really, like, pay for drugs. Sure. If I ever wanted, like, do any of that. So I was like, I didn't have to buy. But then graduating, first time I bought weed was edibles in Michigan. I bought like a pack of 10, 5 milligrams. And that lasted me a pack of 25 milligram edibles lasted me a year.

What? So I've never been that into smoking. I'm getting more and more into it. I mean, I don't want to open up like Pandora's box, but this is crazy. Like I, I feel like maybe I've been like smoking too much, you know, where it's like, uh, almost a dependency. Um, my head just goes so many places and it freaks me the fuck out sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. But it's also like, I like, I love being drunk, coming back and then smoking a little bit.

And then I am so giggly, it's a little crossed up. My friends and I will put on, like, comedy, stand-up, and I'll just laugh my ass off and then wake up, and I'm like, I feel great. Feel great, ready to go? Yeah. I have noticed that if you smoke after you drink, I don't really get hungover in general. Yeah.

But I feel even better if I smoke. Yeah, if I smoke, especially smoke especially like if it's a hardcore night of drinking if i smoke right away in the morning i'll be good usually for the day yeah okay i have another one thank you brother um yeah dude i used to get like weirdly high from when i was in high school though like i used to work at menards and uh i remember this one time my buddy and i my buddy trevor and i we were we worked together and he used to pick me up and bring me to work all the time and we would just listen to instrumental beats and we'd like laugh all the time like we'd try to come up with our own raps and it was i feel like dying by lil

wayne you're probably a little too young to remember that one that's an old school beat but i was like fucking spitting bars on this instrument like i was talking about tower seven i was talking about like 9-11 being an inside job i was talking about like just all sorts of illuminati and i was like spit like it was fucking fresh and i look over at him i'm like after like three minutes i'm like dude did you just hear that and he's like bro literally the entire time all you did was like you didn't say one fucking word the entire time We were sitting in the Menards parking lot I was like I don't think I should go to work right now Then I just called in from the parking lot

That's me though If I get too high I vividly remember Laying on the floor My buddies laying on the couch And we're talking And I said something And they responded with something else i responded that

and they're like what'd you say i go we're talking about like bunnies right he goes no why would we talk about bunnies you fucking i swear to god that's what we were talking about for the last 10 minutes he goes where have you been it's been 30 seconds seconds. Like, Oh boy. So I'm like, what'd you say again? Yeah, that's no. Okay. So first time I was like,

hi, hi, hi. Um, I didn't understand the concept of edibles. Okay. So I'm in college. I'm in a fraternity and we had a rush event.

And it's like, let's hot box an entire room for the kids that are like trying to be right yeah recently adults 18 year olds yeah they're all adults it's responsible um so i'm no one's getting like forced to do anything but like if you want to do it come join and so i go into the room like i can get contact i told i've been whatever like i could go hot box i'd be fine sure um so i go in and i'm like oh this is like it was legit like a room double the size of this i felt like just littered with smoke i'm like holy fuck we're gonna start this house on fire sounds like go get fresh air and then i hear uh kyle brought the edibles i was like I don't need any. Kyle was like, oh, they're small.

If you want them, the bag's here. He brought them from Colorado. I looked at them. They're these cookies about the size of this bottle cap. Oh, nice, dude. Like Famous Amos. Basically. I go, oh, I can easily handle one of those.

Tiny cookie, not a lot of weed. Take your soul? I took four i take five milligrams now and i'm like i feel like depending on the kind i feel like great on five i could probably up at the 10 and i'd be like i'm gonna laugh my ass off for the night um i took four tens so i'm on 40 and i've never been past probably five in my life at that point oh shit and then our event was to go to comedy on state go to it go to oh nice so we all just sat in the back and i'm sitting there and i went i'm like having fun and then it's almost like the darkness

came in for me and i was like oh shit i was like i know it's coming well i didn't really know it's coming like this might not end well get up leave go home so i live like half a mile away from comedy on state at the time i get hungry on my walk home wendy's has that four for five deal fuck yeah dude so i stop into wendy's i'm like you know what be better than a four for five? Two four for fives. An eight for ten. So I am double fisting Wendy's bags with four for fives, and I get out, and I'm like, I think someone's following me. And so I'm like, I don't want someone to know that I know they're following me, so I'm like, this.

Couldn't just be somebody walking the same way. It's the main street in Madison. A hundred people were walking that night. And I'm like, do this. I don't want him to know I know he's following me. So I'm like, trying to do this. It got to the point where I'm doing, like, getting whiplash, trying to look and him not notice.

Meanwhile, I look like I have onset Tourette's just down the field, downstate. I get halfway home, and there's a bar on the corner and i round it and i know he's far enough behind me that he can't see me when i round it sir so i rounded it dead on sprint for a quarter mile two bags of wendy's in my hand got my eyes closed what did you think this guy was gonna do i don't know that's the thing i was like this guy is following me. Either he wants my Wendy's or he wants to fuck me. Exactly. So I just sprinted.

I mean, the guy, it was like not even late. It was like 930. And a guy is sprinting through campus with two bags of Wendy's in his hands. Honestly, probably not the weirdest thing. Oh, it's definitely not the weirdest thing. I have stories up the ass. Yeah, I've had a good moment. Actually, I broke my nose in Madison once.

Did I ever tell you that story? No. So when I was like 19, I was dating this girl, and she was like a cheerleader. We went to high school together, but we started dating after high school, and she became a cheerleader at Madison. And she was like hot as fuck. She was gorgeous, but it was like a first. How old were you, by the way?

19 at the time. How old am I right now? 31. Okay. So she's. She's hot as fuck. She was gorgeous. How old were you by the way? 19 at the time. How old am I right now? 31. Okay. So she's 31 as well. Probably a little past my time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's old as shit now.

She's 31. Yeah, right. Shout out to the cheerleader. Yeah, shout out Emily. I love you. You old bitch. You old washed up floozy. Sorry.

But, you know, so we hung out. It was like our first date. And we were at like some party. And she did like a fucking backflip. We were playing beer pong. And she did a backflip to like psych me out and like make me miss. And in my drunken stupor, I was like, I can fucking do that, dude. And I was like, I can fucking do that, dude. And I was like, I can totally do that.

I've never tried a backflip once except for like on a trampoline or anything like that. And so I'm like, I can do that. And tried a backflip, landed right on my face, broke my nose. You know, the fact that I was about to ask you, did you land it when you started with the story? This is how I broke my nose. Shows you how terrible the list is this is how i broke my nose shows you how terrible yeah you're great at this man no that's good i've learned to just shut up how you feeling michael were you ready to talk to the devil yeah i want to give you 50 milligrams

and just see what happens we won't do it tonight all right i'll do a 50 with you it just i had like lock me in a room right yeah don't let you leave well we could lock in the high note and you just hang out with the creatures of the night until midnight let evan turn the cameras on be like let's just watch michael let's see what happens let's see what he does yeah start eating paint i would probably just be like playing with like the bottles behind the bar dude i'll be out there just staring when Mark Norman... Were you here that day Mark Norman came over here? Came to here? Yeah, came here over New Year's, I want to say.

This year? Yeah. No. No. I was... Fuck. I was in Nashville. Oh, okay.

Nashville gave me a pretty good bit, though, so I can't complain. Yeah. I mean, Nashville in the wintertime beats Wisconsin in the wintertime. But Mark Norman came in here. one of my favorite comedians. He just came in one night after the open mic, and he's just hanging out. And it's on New Year's Eve. So I see him, but I'm like 120 milligrams deep on edibles. I was talking to Satan in the bathroom.

And I drugged all the comics consensually. I'd be upside down in the bathroom i was given i was given all the comics edibles that night it was so fun uh but so we're all looking like we're all in heroin when mark norman comes in and then i just realized like i'm just staring at him like that's and like i know because i'm always with Charlie Barron's and I know Charlie knows Mark. And so I go up to him. I was like, I know Charlie. I'm friends with Charlie.

But I forgot his last name. He's like, who the fuck are you talking about? And I was like, ah, you're my hero. I love you. I'm sorry. I'm like balls deep on the edibles right now. And I felt like a creep staring at him. But that's OK.

Was he nice that you remember? Oh, yeah. I mean, like, he didn't... He did say that he went to High Note on his podcast and then he's like, but I left because there were a bunch of creatures there and I feel like I was singled out in that moment. You know, I was like, fuck.

You made it on Mark Norton's podcast? Not by name, though. But that's how I get it. Mark is a huge fan, all right? Huge fan. Would you say he's your favorite comic? No. But he's up there.

He's up there? Yeah. I like him. I didn't really discover him much. And I've been watching comedy for a long, long time. It feels like that's all I think I knew for a while. I used to go hide. Remember when Netflix was movie delivery?

Yeah, dude. But, like, they had extra stuff on the computer. I don't know if you knew this, but, like, so you could get certain movies delivered, but their catalog on the computer was a little larger. Oh, yeah, but then you had to had to like pay a different rate for that at the time right yeah my family did that and i would sit in my dad's office because that's where the computer was sure and i would watch um like the blue collar comedy dude i grew up on that i love it yeah ron white's one of my fucking heroes ron White. I love Bill Ingvall. Jeff Foxworthy. Larry the Cable Guy.

Like that. I would love like you ever have like pipe dream thoughts where like let's say you make it one day. Like how would you run a tour or something like that? I would love to do that like barstool thing they do at the end where they just sit down and had like pictures and stuff like the wife sending pictures. I thought it was the funniest thing. And they tell stories of like their life.

I'm like, I think that's a little influence I've had on how I do it. Dude, no, Blue Collar, honestly, I watched Blue Collar Comedy Tour and then Blue Collar Comedy Tour rides again special so many times. I had both those VHS tapes. And apparently Billing Ball is one of the killers, like the uncrowned killers in comedy clubs. Like he was squeaky clean for blue collar comedy tour because he had to be but apparently that guy goes fucking dark and it's

like one of the funniest things ever really yeah i mean that's just what i hear through the grapevine i would love to hear that then i know like i don't i don't even i guess i haven't been following his career too closely post-Blue Collar. But Ron White, he's still obviously out there. Do you know if Bill and Val are still doing the damn thing? I don't know. Ron White, I think. So I watch the Rogan podcast.

I don't know why I was hesitant about that, all the controversy. No, I don't fucking care. I think it's dumb. I think everyone that listens to this is basically in the same boat as me but like um so i listened to the ron white episode and he's basically like he might do one more special and he's done yeah yeah i mean he said that for the yeah he's probably like 70 by now right you gotta think i don't know mid 60s at least something yeah you know he like his staple was drinking and smoking he quit drinking i know yeah know. Yeah, it's kind of crazy. I was oddly like you should be happy for someone like that.

But like as a fan of him, you're like, I'm kind of disappointed. Kind of disappointed. Well, it's also just like the staple because he'd always come out there with the whiskey on the rocks and the cigar. I wonder if he brings like iced tea now or something. Yeah, no, it's just iced tea. Yeah, exactly. Well, that's like apparently, what's his name? Larry the C cable guy.

Yeah. That guy will sell out football stadiums in Nebraska. Dude, I mean, if you. Football stadiums. If you get into the blue collar hick demographic, you have fans for life. Bro, I mean, like. Because they're not swaying any which way. I got to be completely honest with you.

Like, I know, like, when I went on the road with Charlie for a few gigs, it's kind of weird because I know him. And just seeing fans geek out about him. I remember talking to him one night. I was like, dude, you're this generation's Jeff Foxworthy. You realize that, right? And to some extent, him and Theo Vaughn really are. I mean, Theo Vaughn's probably a bigger name in the comedy.

I think that'd be a cool tour if they did something like that. Dude, that'd be like the North and the South meet. Like, that's like the Civil War tour. I told him that. I was like, bro, Civil War tour. You and Theo Vaughn. You guys will sell out. Midwest Knives first, like.

Southern Hill. I don't know. Something with Southern and, like, fucking dirty. Yeah. That would be a fun tour to see. Like, I mean, but it's so weird when you see like somebody geek the fuck, like lines of people.

That you know. Lines of people, as far as you can see, like waiting to meet this guy. I'm like, this fucking guy? But I love him. But like, you know. It's that Midwest thing where you get like a Midwest demographic.

You have fans for life forever. Did twelve hundred people. I got I was geeking out having this opportunity. That's I saw your post like twelve hundred stars. Twelve hundred people sold out multiple shows back to back. I've been doing this for a few months. I'm like, I wish. Yeah.

Let me do it. Give it a few years. You'll get an opportunity like that. And I know a few people that were pissed that I got the opportunity. It was like, what? you want me to fucking say? No, dude. Exactly.

What do you want me to say? Why would you know? Let me just pass on the biggest opportunity of my life, you know? But yeah, it's like, I mean, 1200 people in Wausau,

Wisconsin. Yeah. You know, there's a 50,000 population town. It's 1200 people. It's so cool. It's fucking nuts. And he's probably just as nice as oh i gotta

tell my baron start with uh john kind of it's dumb but he's like charlie's just as nice as he probably seems yeah he's yeah he's a nice guy um so it didn't click to me when like being new because i like when you're coming around here new i'm like my head is like what am i gonna say right i'm not being observant which is weird for me because usually i'm very observant person and one day i'm like sitting on my phone and uh charlie barron's video comes up and john's in the video holy I know him. I do open mics with him. And I came to here on a Friday. I'm like, dude, I saw you in a Charlie Barron's video.

How do you? And then before I got, how do you know him? I go, your last name is fucking Barron. How did I not put this together? How did I fuck that up? How did I go? Never mind. I know why.

But awesome. It was cool to see you. That's funny. I trained why. But awesome. It was cool to see you. I love the video. That's funny. I trained John as well at my gym. And he always gets a Gatorade. And we have this little thing where you just sign up on the sheet, like, what things you take from the fridge. And then, like, we charge your account, you know.

And so John wrote his name down, John Behrens. And then, like, one of my other clients is just like, is that Charlie's brother? And I'm like, yeah. And they're like, do you think you could put me in the appointment after him so I could meet him? I'm like, you mean meet the famous guy's unfamous little brother? Yeah, I mean, I guess if you want. People get weird about it. He'll definitely say, John is one of the nicest people here.

Oh, dude, John's one of my favorite people on the planet. John's one of my favorite people on the planet john's one of my favorite people i love the way he dresses it's on i mean i love john what is going on up there i have no idea what's that what time is it 7 23 7 23 okay i guess people are coming here i think they open at seven um but i don't know why they're i feel like they're doing this to piss us off. I only used this for an hour. Okay. We can do it. We got like, if you're not going anywhere,

we can do the last 14 minutes. You've gone. Otherwise, yeah, let's go deep. Let's go weird. I'm down for it. I was going to bring something else up.

I completely forgot something about the John and Charlie Berenstain. No, I do. I want to, would I be able to find a way into you? Like, so you, like I talked about last week when we mentioned

you doing this i was like maybe i just come on like three o'clock we do a training thing and then grow into this obviously that's like too short notice oh yeah um but how what's the like weight line for you training people yeah i can get you next week depending on your schedule yeah yeah well how late do you usually work uh i try to get out of here, get out of there around like six. But oh, I could definitely do that then. What do you prefer doing? Do you like you like doing your jujitsu? I definitely prefer doing martial arts.

But like if strength training is something you want to do, I can help you with that. I don't know what I'd like. I've gotten into very good shape recently. And now it's just like I kind of want to like someone's opinion. Like, where do I've gotten into very good shape recently and now it's just like, I kind of want to like someone's opinion. Like, where do I go from here? Yeah. Well, we could do like an assessment and everything, figure it out.

Like see what, see what. Are you good on nutrition stuff? No. No. No. I mean, I know, I know what's, yes, I can help you, uh, and guide you the right way. Um, but no, I'm not like a nutrition of like – that's not my thing. Because I'm usually pretty good about eating.

But I want to know – like I want to go get one of those tests done that's like, all right, what is your body like oversensitive to? Yeah, me too. Why is it like when I eat this or that or like what is it that I'm eating that I feel instantly tired or I'm bloated all of a sudden or my face puffs up? Oh, like inflammation and all that stuff. Can I limit some of that? I wonder if it's a wheat thing. That's total gross.

I always think it has to do with excessive carbs or something like that. Dude, I know, and I haven't gotten blood tests to figure this out, but just from personal feeling, I know on a lower carb diet, I feel way better. Like if I have lots of red meats and veggies and a little amount of carbs, I feel way, way better. I agree. I definitely think it's a lot of carbs. I also, there's gotta be, I think there's a few other things there might be like maybe

just like little things. I'm like, oh, you can cut that out. Or maybe a little less of this or that. But like I'm very curious to see like what makes my body tick. Yeah. What's going to make it go fucking boom. I know. I know. I've always like wanted.

And when I competed in martial arts, like mixed martial arts, I was definitely more disciplined with my diet. Now I kind of. Are you done competing? Yeah. Yeah. When did you compete? disciplined with my diet now i kind of are you done competing yeah yeah when did you compete um from like 2012 to 2000 17 18 yeah yeah i've been a minute now like i think a black belt in anything uh not technically no um no i like uh so basically i feel like i would have gotten my black belt um

already but the gyms I'm at right now, the highest rank is like a single stripe or not a, a no stripe black belt. And in jujitsu, you need a single stripe on your belt to be able to award a black belt. So I've been like, no one can award you. Yeah.

Um, but I always like, I have a joke with guys in the gym. It was like brown belt in the ghee black belt in the, uh, in the streets, you know. So it's like I like it. But at the same time, it's like I'm not in a rush to get the black belt until I can tap every black belt that I meet. Yeah. And like then I'm like, OK, now I'm a fucking black belt.

You know, you want to feel like you are. And that's definitely one of those things where, like, I don't just want to get it. I want to earn it. Right. Because like there's there's black belts and then there's black belts. Like, there's black belts that I can tap right now. Yeah. And then there's black belts. Like, my homie Dan.

Fuck you up. My homie Dan Borovich is one of the best grapplers on the planet. And he, like, him and I roll probably three times a week, I'd say. And this guy, I can make people feel like they don't know what they're doing. And it's not like a matter of being tougher or anything. It's just like I've been doing it longer and I know what to do. Dan makes me feel like I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. Makes you feel like if I just got in the ring or whatever.

Right. Yeah. And it's just like it's kind of insane. Like him and I started rolling during the I don't know if the mic picked that up, but I'm pretty sure somebody just got murdered upstairs. Somebody just died. Just got dragged across the floor. Yeah, just by the scalp.

Just, holy shit. That was brutal. I'm kind of nervous. But, yeah, like. We got to hide it. Yeah, no kidding. That's crazy. But, yeah. Yeah, your friend. Oh, yeah, Dan, he'll just, like,. No kidding. That's crazy. But yeah.

Oh, yeah. Dan, he'll just like school me, you know, just completely school me. And then like we started training in the quarantine. This is how irresponsible I was during the middle of the lockdown. No beginning parts of the lockdown, like all the gyms closed down. And then Dan's like, hey, do you want to roll? Can we roll at your gym? And I'm like, yes.

I love that. Yeah. I hated when the gym that was my like that's where like i don't get it either because everybody's spread out especially like in a weightlifting gym nobody's like on each other i went to the gym once we're like you need to have a mask on i did it one day i was like i'm not fucking doing this i'll go do push-ups at home. I can't do this. I fucking hated that lockdown, having to work out at home. I just had, like, this old, like, those assault bikes. Oh, dude, those are brutal. Well, here's the thing is, I think it was my mom's old one, and I think it's broken, or I broke it. I used it so much because, like, this, like, turning it to, like, make it,

it's an older one, so, like, you twist it, and it gets, like, a little more resistance and stuff like that. It got to a make it it's an older one so like you twist it and gets like a little more resistance and stuff like that it got to a point where it's just the same is it a spin bike or an assault bike like the one with the fan in the wheel or doesn't have the fan okay so that's a spin bike yeah but you can make it that you could increase you can adjust it by making it but like i think i broke the band so like it wouldn't there was no resistance anymore so i'm just doing the same thing i'm like i have like i'm addicted to my watch so i'm like i have to close my rings burn the calories burn the calories because it's like all right this is what got me to lose the weight and get back into shape were you a fat boy i wasn't fat boy um thick boy i got out of shape

in college like i did i was a multi-sport athlete in high school. And so, like, when you're used to your metabolism being through the roof, eating whatever you want, and then you just stop. And then – and I didn't drink in high school either. And so then I started drinking, like, a fish in college. So I'd stop sports. I'd add alcohol, and my diet sucks. Yeah. Like, you had a grace period of freshman year, and then sophomore, junior year, it was like, I mean, it was like I was a balloon.

Dude, that was my brother. Same thing. He was, yeah. I was fortunate enough to never, like, I'm insane, so I need to work out for my mental health or else I just, like, go crazy. That's me now. That's my therapy, quote, unquote. Right, right. I mean, it's kind of true, though.

I don't yeah well it's like funny when people say like uh the gym is my therapy i was like oh okay um what do you guys talk about it's all in my head it's all internalizing but it's all internal no i get it though it is it is a form of it's like uh It's a weird form of relaxation. If you have little frustrations, you just kind of get it out by exerting energy. That's why I think people call it therapy. I'm almost kind of thankful now that I'm past that stage that I got out of shape because now I appreciate how I look and being in shape now and like the way i eat and stuff like that you notice how you feel better oh my god it's like and i still do it to myself so like my diet regimen

is like i'm clean monday through friday saturdays hit or miss friday nights like friday night through saturdays hit or miss sunday because i saturday i usually don't eat because i'm drinking which is so bad it's so fucking bad so sunday i'm like you know what you deserve the calories you've earned it whatever the fuck you want it's just carbs sugar fat the little littlest amount of protein are you usually a beer guy or a liquor guy so i switched from beer um i like beer. Lighter beers. Sure. I'm not an IPA person. Yeah, I'm not either. I drink Guinness every once in a while. I do enjoy, depending on where I'm at.

I don't know. I can't pinpoint where I'd be. I need a Guinness. It's a Irish bar. When I first tried to get into shape, I switched to vodka sodas just because I can limit calories. And I'm limiting sugar as well. And so I was like, I just kind of stuck with it. So now when I go up here, I feel so bad.

What's her name again? The bartender? Oh, no idea. No clue. I'm terrible with names. I actually don't think she's that cold. Krista? No.

That sounds right. But she now knows. When I come, she goes, do you want your drink? Yeah, she's good at that, too. She's great. It also shows I've been here enough times. Yeah. I know. She goes, you want it your drink? Yeah, she's good at that, dude. She's great. It also shows I've been here enough times. Yeah. I know.

She goes, you want it again? Double? I'm like, yeah. But she always makes fun of it. She goes, no straw? I know you hate them. I'm like, yeah, they're the worst fucking straws ever. Are they paper straws here?

I usually only drink beer because I will go to a dark place if I drink liquor. See, this fills me up, though. So I can start with beer. I don't believe in that whole like beer or liquor never been sicker or beer you're in the clear kind of yeah I mean it's more like just drink your alcohol if you're not a pussy kind of thing sure and so like I'll have a few of these like I'll we'll finish this is my guess yeah let's go and then speaking well let's just yeah And then, speaking of, let's just finish this real quick.

And then I'll ask the final question. Hi. Ah! This is fun. We've got to do one where we're not in the basement, though. Yeah, yeah, sorry about all this, man. No, that's fine. I have no problem doing repeat guests now, especially now that we're doing the comics.

So, who else is there going to have on? We got to have Ton on here, man. You got to have me and Ton on here. Oh, I would love that. Ton is another one of those people that just simply, like, I don't think it was compliments, but, like, gave me advice. So the first time I ever was, like, quote, unquote, heckled. He was the first person to give me advice. Quote, unquote, heck me a heckle for me so like this just super drunk guy came in it was a tuesday night or friday night people were on a showcase or whatever um no one was here it was like six of

us ton of being one of them which surprised the hell out of me i was like i think of all people you would be gone somewhere else but off night for him this guy came in and just was like, I think of all people, you would be gone somewhere else. But off night for him. This guy came in and just was like, just saying thanks to me. And I was. Like while you're on stage? Yeah. And I did not handle it well. I don't think I handled it poorly. But at one point I was like.

What did you say? Well, I'll tell you. So like it got to the point where I was like, I just, I couldn't understand him. Just drunk? So I was like, I can't give you a rebuttal. Was he just like hammered coming in? He was wasted. Like, we're about to send you to the hospital wasted.

And then he just, I ignored him and I went back to my set. And then, which wasn't doing well either at the time. And then I, he said something again at the very end. I had gotten the light and he said something. I'm like, hey, I just stopped. I go, listen, I don't care if the rest of my set's done. But like, hey man, shut the fuck end. I had gotten the light and he said something. I'm like, Hey, I just stopped. I go, listen, I don't care.

The rest of my set's done. Like, Hey man, shut the fuck up for the rest of the comics. And Tom's like, Hey, stop, finish your set,

do what you need to work on. Don't worry about him. And I was like, okay. And I was like, all right, be a little more professional, even though we're at the high note,

no offense, high note, but like, uh, I get it. Yeah. And afterwards he's like, Hey, I don't know if you could hear him or not but like here are other like things i would like to say you could say to him instead blah blah blah and i i appreciate that like someone

who's like coming up the comics like you could do this to be better because i think the comics who do that um only benefit themselves as well as like if you have every comic on this like show tonight that does well it means everyone like someone had i like following people that do well me too because then the crowd's having fun and so you're more likely to laugh everybody's having anything you say um why do you want everyone to do bad so that's i get i'm very appreciative like him and like when rich said that, or just constructive criticism. Someone else, I forgot. I'm going to ask you the last question.

Okay. Here, let me one-up you real quick on this. So when I was new to comedy, it cannot get worse than this. I had a guy, there was this three, a group of three, two guys and this girl sitting in this back room at Art Bar. You ever go over there? I don't even think they do comedy out there anymore. But they used to do comedy there every other Thursday at 10, 30, 11 o'clock at night.

And it was always just a shit show. So I'd go over there, and there was this group of three people. I was the last comic on the list. And they were talking the whole night, just being very loudly not being respectful at all um and i got like i was probably three months four months after my last fight i was in like a whole other world at this time yeah um and like i just basically and i'm kind of wild boy i know you and i know each other like i'll get a little wild sometimes and uh but you know like i saw this guy and he just wouldn't shut the fuck up so i told him i was like hey man can you shut the fuck up i'm trying to do something here he's like nah and i'm just like you know if

we were in prison you'd be my bitch right and like i said that just right then and there everybody got so uncomfortable bro everybody got so i know i think that i like i pulled out my pocket i was like hold my pocket bitch and then like everybody got weird as fuck around it i was like i thought that was hilarious yeah it was in the middle of river west but uh yeah it's all good that makes sense but so you can't you can't fuck it up as much as that man dude oh god i wish i could have seen that it was pretty funny gary zazakowski was there and uh gary like this guy tried to get in my face afterwards and gary like broke the whole thing up it was crazy i choked out a racist magician did you ever hear about that story you want to talk

about something fun um so this was around the same time frame around three four months into comedy right after like MMA competing in mixed martial arts I had I was up and under and there was a magician who used to come around his name was Andy Falk and he would come around and he was doing like weird magic with comedy and for whatever reason I mean not whatever reason the guy sucked and he was creepy uh but he was just bombing it up and under and nobody was listening to him yeah nobody's listening to him a lot of black people in this room okay um a lot of asians a lot of there was like a couple indian guys in there uh but then he just starts dropping the n-bomb like hard er too not like ah but er you know it was like whoa buddy uh and then i'm sitting

with my buddy niles uh niles nelson who's he doesn't really do comedy too much anymore uh but he's from the area black dude uh we're sitting next to each other and the guy just starts dropping all these n bombs and then niles is like boo and everybody else is like, boo! And then the magician jumps off the stage and charges at Niles. And they start pushing each other. And then I get in the middle of it to try and break it up. And then the magician fucking aims, is punching at Niles, but missed and hit me. And then I got all pissed. I just saw red.

You're fresh off fighting, right? Yeah. I was right off. I think this was in February. My last fight was in December. So it was two, three months afterwards. You're like, I'll fuck you up. And I just took his back and just strangled him out cold in the middle of this bar.

Like out cold, like asleep. And then I felt his body drop. And then I set him down very nicely. I sat him down very soft on the floor, and then I raised his legs up to get the blood back in his brain. Then he woke up really confused. Then the bouncers came up and escorted him out of the bar. I was like, you're fucking welcome, dude. Exactly.

You're welcome to do your job. Yeah, but it was bananas. It was one of the most, but that gave me a lot of street cred in the comedy scene, so that was pretty weird. That's awesome. Dude, it was bananas But that gave me a lot of street cred In the comedy scene So that was pretty weird Dude, it was a good night It was a wild night It was fucking wild

But it's kind of weird to think about it now And now he still threatens me on Facebook I blocked him Before he'll get new profiles Just to harass me online So I'm 31 years old. I have an ongoing feud with a magician. Magic comic.

Which is great. And he's only the only room he's not banned from is Rounding Third on Sunday nights. Yeah, I haven't done that. You're not missing much. So that's the only room he's not banned from in the city. And I was thinking about getting a restraining order from him

and then just going to rounding third. I never go to rounding third, but just out of principle, just to get him banned. Because I'm fucking petty, dude. Oh, good lord. Because I have a million messages of this guy threatening me, my family, my girlfriend. He's going to make you disappear.

Yeah, I'll make him disappear that's cool man um all right all right final question my bad i just know you're good you're good um what time is it 7 40 oh we're gonna go up and we're basically gonna be ready to go yay um i will let you help me pack it up i will i'll do that i'm gonna pee first so um it's the only time i've been like i will ever be like serious is the final question like semi-serious okay um so each season i ask like a different question sure the reason i did stand up the question was what's something you gotta do for your birthday kind of thing so you have like a year to do it and i hold my friends

accountable um haven't really held any of them accountable yet um but this one and the final one is basically what do you live by so like is there a code like you have a code like um is there like a quote did you ever like witness an episode of something you have like a family motto do you have like what basically like why do you live your life the way you do? Why do you do stand-up? Why is jiu-jitsu your passion? Why is comedy your passion? Fitness? Why, like, for example, mine, there's a quote that says, every man has two lives.

His second one starts when he realizes he has just one. Oh, yeah. That's good. So it's like. I guess to answer your question on a serious note is I like things that are hard. I like things that are ever changing. I don't like static equations. I like dynamic equations.

I love math. I love chess because it's a dynamic equation. It's always changing. Right. Because like if I give you a math problem like eight times three, that's a static equation. It stays the same. But an ever-moving one, like jiu-jitsu, martial arts, that's a problem that's always changing.

Chess is a problem that's always changing. Constantly moving variables. And having to figure out what your opponent is going to do before they decide that they're going to do it, and then you can jeopardize on it. That's why I like martial arts is because it's just like human chess and it's human problem solving with like really intense consequences but like with comedy i like it in the same aspect because it's like i got into this because i wanted to make people laugh and maybe initially i didn't get into it for the like i got

into it for the right reasons making people laugh but I didn't understand it as an art and a craft in itself. But it's always changing. Like, the way the word economy, how you say your sentences, how you structure your jokes, that'll make or break you. And, like, one word, one um, one fuck could fuck you over for the rest of the thing. A pause, a weird tone weird tone like it could just fuck everything up so i like the energy and it's all energy yeah it's all energy and tension i feel like that's a big part of it as well um but i i guess like yeah i i like doing things that are hard that i don't think i can ever be a true master of but like i'm in the pursuit of being one

yeah i feel like if you ever master anything it's get you don't you get bored yeah I don't know if I'm constantly work at right like I mean it's redundant but like it's true it's true like there's people that are wizards like like my buddy Dan my buddy Dan that jiu-jitsu ace we were talking about, like he's been on, he's beaten Gordon Ryan. I'm sure that means nothing to you. But Gordon Ryan is basically like the NFL, like he's like the fucking world champion of submission wrestling, jiu-jitsu. My buddy Dan has beat him twice, lost him once.

They're two and one against each other. And that's like, but he's like the motherfucker. But Dan will still tell me about bad days at the gym where he got tapped like eight times. So it's like an ongoing thing. It's like a Rubik's Cube that can't be solved. I like that.

It's a challenge. Well, we'll end it here. We did it. Alright guys, stay black. Have a good night. Drink some more and try and make, I don't know, six people laugh tonight, you think? I'm going to sign up late as fuck. Same. I'm going way late.

I'll do four minutes. No, that's what I like to do at High Note. I like to get in with the karaoke crowd. Karaoke crowd, yeah. You know. A hundred percent. Because, like, you know, it is what it is. I don't know what I'm trying to say.

Well, thank you for doing this. Yeah, man. We'll do this again. Maybe we can do a separate one that will make people pay for where I just get dumb high and you talk at me. Yeah, let's do it. I want to take you to the loony bin. We'll do that then. You don't have an intro?

Sure, I'll start. No, I might just start the episode. Oh, just to get going. Yeah, we can get going. I don't have a welcome to this shit. I just thought you meant me doing a monologue. I was like, yeah, what the hell do I talk about? I think it's cringy when someone's like, welcome back to whatever, blah, blah, blah.

I'm like, I can't do it. Well, it makes it seem like it's like a radio, like where there's like a commercial interruption. Yeah, it's not. We're in the basement of a karaoke bar right now. Yeah, it's rough. This is a good setting. This looks like, by the way, can you see yourself well enough? Yeah, I think so.

I don't have my glasses on, so I'm kind of squabbly, but I think I look okay. Just face the camera. That's the only one. No, you're good. There he goes. We've got to make sure when we clip this, people see your face. Clip it! Sorry.

No, I used to say it when I do solo episodes when I don't have a guest. I'm like, this looks like a ransom video. This 100% looks like a ransom video now. Yeah, this is terrifying, actually. I'm excited for when the employees come in here and they have no idea that we're here because they have to like come down here and get the ice machine from like or need to get ice from the ice machine it's gonna be an audio nightmare yeah it's gonna be an audio nightmare but you know we're here we're queer uh and we stole a steer so it's all good exactly all right oh evan uh it looks like evan was like

you know what i'm gonna keep these two for the hell of it and we just decided to entertain ourselves yeah well i so i called evan so basically we were gonna do this at my place and then my heater my furnace went out and then uh i called evan i was like hey can we do it in the basement he's like you can if you want it's kind of a shit show down there but uh he's like help yourself. I came here fashionably early to clean up a little bit. And I was fashionably late. Fashionably late. That's okay.

Yeah, you costed me a date with a hot Jewish girl, BTW, Michael. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was very excited about it. I'm going to blame this one on the snow. No, it was rough. I didn't think it was going to snow. The time got away from me. And I like I should probably get because I was like I

should leave early to see if so I can set up so we can start at six because I didn't know if you were had to be anywhere oh sure you got to be somewhere and then I was like oh fuck it's 520 it's snowing should probably leave at least 10 minutes earlier So wrong Where do you live? New Berlin right now Oh shit That's a haul then Damn So I texted you

I was like I'm gonna be a little late At like at 6 I'm like I'm hoping this doesn't take another half hour Oh damn Yeah it was a nightmare out there It's okay I mean like it's Wisconsin in the winter I don't know why every winter I'm surprised by it

But it's like every summer I love it so much I love it so much I'm just like this place I could live here for the rest of my life and then it hits October I'm like I fucking hate it here Well, see I get pre seasonal seasonal depression like in fall like I I know it's coming and then it's even like in August. I'm just like well the best is over now So it's like it's like Sunday for you, kind of. Yeah.

So you're like, I know Monday's tomorrow. Even though I don't have to do anything today, I know Monday's tomorrow. But it's a whole month of Mondays. Yeah. It's a whole month of Mondays, and it just spirals backwards. But it's all good. Dude, seasonal depression is fucking real, though. No, it is.

It's not sunny here. Well, okay, here's the problem. It's sunny when it's fucking negative 10 out. And then any time it's above freezing, it's gray as shit. And I don't somebody explained it to me the other day and I forgot what it was. Exactly. You're talking about because I've told friends, isn't there? Like, you're crazy. I'm like, no, I'm not. If it's when you wake up and it's no clouds in the sky, I'm like, it's fucking cold outside.

You know, it's cold outside. It's going to hurt to breathe. hurt so bad you're good i'm everything okay yeah i'm just you know i'm terrible at you know producing this shit oh yeah well i'm an idiot that's why when you're like setting it up i'm like do you need help please say no because i don't know how to help oh yeah that's the thing well like i a year ago i'd be like i have no idea what the fuck i'm doing now i know a little more so what made you get into doing podcasts man you got a little setup here this is it was my way of pushing myself into doing stand-up oh interesting okay so it's like i knew i wanted to do this for a while and i kept telling myself oh you'll go next week go next week right and then

it didn't happen then pandemic hit i'm like oh i have an excuse they're not open which is dumb did you do comedy before the pandemic at all no no okay for some reason i thought you maybe came around once or twice right before the pandemic so before the pandemic the first place because i wanted to check out the scene first okay so we uh my friend jake and i came to this bar actually i was like i think they have open mic here on Fridays. Let's go check it out. And we came on a night where there was like no one here. Oh, sorry.

Death night. And everyone bombed. I'm like, this sucks. And I'm like, I think I could do this. If everyone here is like this. Everybody sucks here. I'm funnier than this guy. Then like a year later, for us i had this going and like i have

a question i ask at the end of everything each episode it differs from like season to season but um my question at that time was what's something you have to do before your next birthday like something you can do um realistically but like you know like you're not doing it just because you're telling yourself not to do it. Oh, sure. And I was a standup. So I was like, I did it two days before I turned 25. And so this was my way of like, cause I would write stuff on my notes.

Cause like I wanted to do it and I was like, see if you can get some of it out and then just do this. I started with a, this is the second one I've done technically. Second podcast. Yeah. So I did a different one called tending a lisp. Tending lisp yeah nice yeah do you have a lisp no but so i had a co-host who did okay and we met while i was bartending so i was like this is a perfect name i mean it's literally a perfect name that is a good one um but he quits he's like i don't have time for it

anymore so i was like i'll just do my own. Could you understand him? Oh, yeah. I definitely can understand him. It wasn't a terrible list, but it was like, let's make fun of it. Yeah, yeah. Because we can't. I'm all about making fun of people with disabilities. That's like my favorite thing to do. Why not? Just kidding.

But, you know, like. No, that's cool, man. That's cool you got into it. So you actually did the podcast before you ever did comedy? That's interesting. A lot of people. Do it the other way around. I knew I wanted to talk for hopefully a living one day.

Right. And so I was like, if I can do this, and I know I can do this, because I already had some of the equipment. I've had the equipment since 2019, two microphones. I didn't get cameras until a year and a half ago. Okay. Or last year, started last year. But um but yeah i did do it kind of ass backwards no that's cool i mean i i think it's probably better that way because then you get

used to talking in like an open format exactly used to saying your thoughts out loud and uh you know hearing yourself hearing yourself which is exhausting i'm gonna dread every every minute of watching this podcast i'll probably tune out 30 seconds and be like okay it's whatever i'm numb to it now like i'll watch the clips the first couple times i did it i was like i i would have ums i would be like this gotta be perfect so the first episode was just audio and i would look at the lines which i need to bring this down um but i look at the lines and i tend there's a gap i would just like go and delete it oh just get rid of arms. I'm like, what the fuck am I doing?

Like, this isn't natural. Yeah. It's an audible pause. Like an arm is just like a, uh, it's the same thing. Like when you're on stage and the guy says fuck like six times, fuck is just an arm, but they're just saying it out of frustration because they can't think of the next word that they're trying to say. So it turns into the notepad and it's like, Oh yeah.

Jeez. Um, okay. No, I wanted to wanted so i wanted to start with this so now that we brought the podcast and stuff but so because i do this and we had a few videos do well i've had a little bit of a following on like tiktok so i've got weird dms from some people. I got one this morning that I like. Sometimes you don't get the notification in the request or like you don't get the notification if they request to message you because you don't follow them back. Oh, sure. Yeah. So I just saw I had a request and it was just like a dude that said, yo. And so I'm like, I want to interact with people because I was like, hopefully they keep listening.

Right. So I just sent back this. He sent me this two days ago, by the way. And it yo just yo so i just said what's up i shit you not 10 seconds later he goes not much just working from home oh boy big fan cute i'm like okay uh okay like how did like i really appreciate it are we talking here uh i don't know he's got a private account oh okay yeah i didn't see a profile picture or anything like that? Oh, I can see that. I'll show you it after this. Okay, cool.

And if he actually is a big fan, congratulations. You made it on the podcast. So I was like, nothing much, just working from home, big fan. I'm like, ah, okay, I appreciate you listening. How did you find the show? I'm curious where I'm reaching people the most. He goes, TikTok, what's your Venmo okay i was like uh okay i'm like it's just my name and i was like michael kuski because and my name's like who he dm so it's like not like i'm giving him new information

sure and the worst you can do is send me money it's not like you can take it from me and i go why he just goes by venmo do would you send me pictures of your ass? Whoa. Okay. I was just like, nope. And he goes, oh, sorry. And that's basically the extent of it. He's like, sorry, my bad, read this wrong.

I'm like, what the fuck did you read? Yeah. You started this with yo, and I said, what's up? And you're like, if I Venmo you, will you send me pictures of your ass? That is so crazy. And I didn't reply to the my bad and 10 minutes later he goes let me know if you change your mind you could just send them generic like google images asses so and then just like save it and then send it to them and make some quick money so i screenshotted it and i sent it to my buddies and one of them was like good to know you're finally making money off the podcast. In cavity.

And then I was like, yeah, I didn't think it would start this way. And the other one was like, you want to just send him pictures of my ass? Why not? We can make some dough out of this if you don't care. I'm not sending pictures of my ass over the internet right now. But also, I was thinking about it. What if he offered, like, what would be the number for you to send it? An ass pick?

Yeah. I'll do it for the story. I was thinking about it. I was like, all right, for the story, I'm thinking about it. Right. If my face doesn't have to be in it. Yeah, but is it, like, one of these things? You have to, like, turn around?

Oops. Exactly. So, like, if I have to turn around, yeah, there's money involved. There's that's quadruple digits, like high quadruple, if not five, whatever the word for five is. Fifth temple, fifth, five, five digits. I'm talking about 10 grand. OK, that's what I'm saying. Like four digits is like nine thousand. Yeah, I would do it for five digits. That's about it. Like what if he actually just was like, hey, to, if you listen, I mean, we're only 10 minutes in, so hopefully you've listened to this.

Hopefully your attention span is there, or else you're not a real fan, buddy, and you're just objectifying Michael. If you want to put some serious money down, I'd consider it. Dude, true story. One time when I was in high school, well, a bunch of times when I was in high school, there was this old surgeon. And I grew up in a really small town, so there was one surgeon. He was the guy. And he would have me house his condo when he'd go to Florida. And so we would throw parties because we were in high school.

We would throw ragers. And he had a photocopy machine in his living room. And so we would just get hammered and take pictures like photocopy our ass our dicks and all that stuff and then like post them on the wall and uh then he that fast forward like 10 years he gets arrested for child pornography please tell me they're not from your picture so then i'm like did i fucking did he just like not get rid of these and then they find these pictures somehow. But apparently they were on his email.

So he was like, like straight up. So he already was. Yeah, he was like a straight up pedo. That means that man was like, that's why he kept asking you to do the condo. Because he saw those pictures. He saw those pictures and was like, I like it. That's a good hog on that guy. But then I also think like maybe I fed the fire a little bit, you know.

Oh, you definitely fed the fire. But then, you know, like you definitely got the fire. But then I felt bad because like I was classmates with his son because the smallest school everybody knows each other. And then so he gets arrested, I want to say, on like a Friday. And then these kids, his name is Kevin. I'm not going to say his last name, but Kevin and his sister, Sarah, were gone by that Monday and never seen him since. They deleted Facebook, all that shit. I wonder what they're up to now. I would, too.

Yeah, I mean, I get it. Dude, if your dad's like a chomo man, that's fucked up. Dude, you definitely fed that fire. I mean, there was like a little flame. And he's like, I wonder if they're into me, too. And then he comes back from Florida and there's hundreds of pictures of teenage dicks and ass. I know. But I've been like hairy since I was like 13. So it's like, is this a grown man's hog? comes back from florida and there's hundreds of pictures of teenage dicks and ass i know but i've been like hairy since i was like 13 so it's like is this a grown man's hog or is this like he's got

like fetishes for like hairy children no that is that is probably like a weird subcategory of child pornography yeah like oddly hairy yeah but like they don't have pecs yet it's just all abs still you know it's just all abs still, you know A little little penis coming right out of the bush. That's a good one. Oh good lord This is a good start to the bike. This is a great start. I we got people. Oh, yeah We're gonna have to start screaming into these mics I will scream Um, I want so I like you were looking up this before or the show before we did this i looked up your instagram a little more you open for charlie barron's yeah a few times yeah i want to hear about that because that's fucking awesome um

okay yeah so how do i start from the beginning how did it happen um well so okay so originally i trained you know ton johnson yeah so i'm a personal trainer for my my day job and i run my own company down in uh walker's point um but so i trained my buddy ton who's another comedian here who's opened up and done videos for charlie in the past and so far yeah hilarious guy one of the best guys in the in the in the midwest um but so he posted a video of us boxing and then charlie messaged ton being like i want to do that and he's like oh avery's a comic you should just train with him and then john barron's uh charlie's little brother does the open mic scene with us

and charlie came out to watch his little brother one night and i ran into charlie and he's like hey you're avery the boxing guy right and i, yeah. And then so he gave me his number and then we kind of worked from there, started training together. He came out to see me at a couple shows throughout the months that we were training with each other. And then he had just asked me, because he started his Midwest tour,

he's like, hey, can you open up for me? Because he knew I'm from Rhinelander and we had a show in Wausau. He's like, hey, can you open up for me in Wausau? What's up, man? Hey, man. Sorry. We got people coming in. Welcome to the podcastausau. He's like, hey, can you open up for me in Wausau? What's up, Matt? Hey, man. Sorry. We got people coming in.

Welcome to the podcast. Welcome. He's leaving. He's got shit to do. But yeah, so that's basically it. I just built a relationship with him through personal training and coaching him and all that stuff, trying to get him in shape. We got the whole squad coming down here now.

The whole squad. You guys want to share? How are you? Yeah. We got to squeeze through here. This is going to be fun. This is going to be fun. This is going to be good.

I'm going to keep talking so there's not dead air. Who cares? This isn't professional at all. My sister's black. My father's dead. My brother's gay. I have AIDS. That's the ice machine in the back.

That's the ice machine. I told you about the ice machine beforehand. That's all right. That might be where the light came from last time. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. We could have done it in there. I'm pretty sure that's Evan's sex dungeon, to be completely honest.

Matt. It's like, yep, definitely. Oh, good lord. That's fun. I hope the snow clears up a bit so we have a good crowd tonight. I know. I'm actually kind of relieved that the hot um canceled with me because i have a feeling it's going to be dead as shit tonight and then i'm just going to do comedy for comics that have heard all my shit it's

demoralizing i don't say it's demoralizing but like i love leaving here friday and like you perform to people well okay yeah exactly that's that's a big thing i think think maybe we should bring up during the podcast is like during comedy, there's a lot of people that pander to the other comedians, especially in the open mic scene. And those guys, you know, they'll tend to get local work because they're all friends with each other. But it kind of stops there, right? I don't think it's healthy either. No, it's not healthy because you're like pandering for the people in the back of the room. Yeah.

But, you know, like I like to make my jokes for people. I don't know about you, but I got into comedy to make other people. Yeah. You know, like. Don't get me wrong. I would like to make the other comics laugh. Right. That's part of it.

But they also they hear everything all week. Right. So you have to say something super fucked up to get like a rise out. Exactly. On some of those nights. And then those things. And then that doesn't work on an actual audience. So you have to say something super fucked up to get like a rise out exactly And then that doesn't work on an actual audience I have to like slump down right now until he comes back But yeah, no, I agree. That's why I really enjoy having I Hope I have a good audience for the showcase as well. I think there should be these yeah, Yeah, is this your first comedy show? Yeah. Ooh, this is exciting, dude.

It is exciting. Like, I was caught off guard because Evan messaged me right after I got off. Bro, you're good enough. I didn't even try. Like, I don't – I was curious to, like, why – what the fuck the holdup was because, I mean, in my opinion, you're funnier than some of the – I'm not going to say names, but, like, you're funnier than some of the other newer comics that are getting spots left and right. I appreciate it.

Well, by no means do I want to start any beef with anyone because I have no beef with anyone. I do. Fuck everybody. No, I'm just kidding. It's not why I'm doing this either, but I think part of the reason, too, is the first couple times, like the month or two, I came around here. I talked to no one. Yeah, I know. I know.

And I always kind of wanted, like, I try to include everybody, but then like, I feel weird going up to a stranger and being like, Hey, join us, you know?

Exactly. Well, that's the thing is that's what I want to say. It needs to happen. And I've said this a few times on here, but it's like the equivalent of trying to break into a friend group and you don't have a friend on the inside. And everybody else is already friends.

Exactly. So, like, when you go to someone else's school, like, when you were in college, like, did you go to college at all? Yeah, dropped out. Thanks for bringing it up. Okay, but, like, probably why we're doing this. My degree means nothing. Why I'm doing this.

But, like, when, if you visited a friend at college, like their college. Yeah. And you had that friend there and they introduced you to all their friends. Then you're all homies. Then you're into that group already. Imagine going to a different college and being like, who wants to hang out with me? I know. Because I also know my personality.

My personality is going to piss a lot of people off sometimes I don't know about all that No You seem like a friendly enough guy I think I'm friendly yeah I think Now that I moved this back He's gonna come right out

Yep Um But like I can be A lot sometimes What do you mean? Um Just like direct Oh yeah

Me too Yeah So Which is why I think I like talking to you Like they're like The people that have been on so which is why i think why i like talking to you like they're like the people that have been on so far i have been the people that have like reached out and said like basically come join us i'm like all right join the docks and you'd be like hey do you want to do the podcast no i saw you're doing this and it seemed pretty good so i'm excited to do it i uh it's fun yeah at the minute like when i started too i was

like at the end of the day this is just me having drinks and just recording what i do when i drink i know which like it shouldn't be pressure then but for whatever reason it's just like i'm shitting blood up here i hate myself like it feels like a first date almost it does like you gotta you gotta kill but the first couple thatinking everything. I hated that, too. My head for a while, I went through probably two months of when I was doing episodes. I was like, all right, when you're about to talk, make sure it's quick enough so you can fit into a three-minute video on either TikTok or a 59-second video on Instagram. Oh, sure. Instead of just being a natural conversation, I was like, do it for this. I'm like, this is

not what it's supposed to be for. No. If you get good clips organically, then it's way better. Way better. Because then I could tell looking back and I was like, you're trying to fit this in. You are trying to fit this in. Right, right, right. It's squeezing in. It's not organic. Fucking stop. Yeah. And that bothers the hell out of me when I'm like

trying too hard. So how many episodes do you think you've gone on this bad boy? I know how many I've done. This will be so tight. And so I break it up into seasons. So every 16 episodes is a season. You are actually the finale for season three. Wow.

In the basement of the basement of the high note. And we will never leave here. This is going to be great. Evan's going to lock us back up after our hour of freedom. Yeah. So you're the end of season three so 48 for this that's pretty good and then i did 16 of the other show okay so you got it you got a couple under your notch like our notches under your belt this will be episode technically 64 i've done damn everything yeah it's a lot so uh like when did you like decide like now is the time to jump the gun on comedy I think it's like a

quarter-life crisis sure well here's I was 25 when I started as well so when I well I wanted to say I started when I was 24 that's why I did it before hmm something about like don't do it when you turn 20 do it before you turn 25 kind of thing sure um however i've known i wanted to do this for a while it was admitting to myself i wanted to do it i think so like i went to school originally to be an engineer really i did a year and a half of it i had a mental breakdown like a full-blown what kind of engineer uh mechanical oh shit yeah um i had a full-on panic attack called my mother i'm like i can't do this and then switched my majors to business

and tv film and radio and even in the back of my head i'm like i'm never gonna use anything i do here but i was like building connections and stuff like that i guess which is nice but right it literally it was like it's dumb but yeah so i was just like telling myself all right you want to do this don't worry basically worry what other people think now i can't i love it i absolutely right well business and media is a good outlet for somebody who gets into comedy or a good degree for somebody who gets into comedy because you know the business because there's a whole other aspect of it. It's like it's show business, right?

Yeah, what you could be paid. That's what, who is it, Rich DeMore? Yeah, Rich DeMore. Because he asked me at Bremen once, and he's like, have you been booked yet? I said, no. And he goes, first of all, I did not mean that as like, have you been booked yet? Kind of like in a negative way. He told me, he's like like you have he told me he's

like you have a few good minutes i could see you being booked relatively soon and that meant like the world to me yeah rich is a veteran dude 10 years plus in the game and like his comp like there are a few like when you when you started did you have a few comics that you're like if one of them gave me a compliment you'd kind of feel like oh yeah i'm on the right track kind of thing absolutely yeah so like he was one of them or, I got off one set and he just gave me a fist bump. He was like, that was pretty good. I was like, all right, that wasn't actually bad then. No, because like, you know, he's a veteran.

He's been around. He's seen it all. He's like, it looked I must have looked comfortable. I wasn't like shaking or anything. I got my shirt. Great. But where was I going with this before? Dude, I lose my train of thought.

Rich, Hitchia complimented you. You hated yourself. Oh, yeah, I still do. You didn't get booked on the show. I don't know where you were going with it. I don't either. I'm going to look back and be like, you idiot. Yeah, I know I did that all the time as well.

Where did we start with this conversation? I don't fucking. I'm going to look back and be like, you idiot. Yeah, I know. I do that all the time as well. Where did we start with this conversation? I don't fucking know, dude. I'm 50 milligrams deep in an edible right now. You're asking me for... Yeah, or are you going to shake again? Like, when you took that at Bremen and got on, were you actually feeling it? Dude, that was...

Thanks for walking right in front of the cameras. Appreciate you. I have a hot pocket. I thought she was going to say, I didn't even see the cameras. Appreciate you. I have a hot pocket. I didn't even see the cameras. Hey, yeah. Walk on right through there again. That's cool. Thank you. From here on out, every episode will be here. No, yeah. That night at Bremen,

I shouldn't have taken that much because it hit hit. I like taking them and then with a half hour before I go on stage, so I start feeling giggly. But the demons haven't entered yet. I got to Bremen late that night. Had to sign up super late.

And then the demons had taken control is basically what had happened. I haven't been high on stage yet. I wouldn't. I wouldn't start doing it until like about a year yeah it makes me a little nervous because i know what like if i drink and then get high it's like we were talking about before i have multiple conversations sure so like i could be like if we go out drinking this girl's falling apart over here we go go out drinking, and then I'm just going to move forward and let everyone know. Sorry about all this chaos, guys.

This was my idea to get you guys into the high note. I mean, that's what it's for. Yeah. It's like there's usually extra pads. We just got to clean it up. We did move the podcast studio a little bit. I'm just going to not break eye contact with this camera. I don't know what the hell we were talking about I don't even okay well jeez like what kind of doors that were just on the latch don't like it it

just falls down that's why it's not they were mad at us I think they're probably pissed actually one time actually not gonna tell that story on the podcast but yeah i mean like i'll dabble with the edible oh that's you don't really do edibles too much though you kind of talked about you said you like five ish milligrams you get a little weird 10 5 to 10 yeah we gotta get you weird one night yeah we gotta get you all here's the thing i have been i want to tell this story on state i'll tell it to you afterwards because i want to turn it into a joke um and i i'm getting trying to get better at that not just like wasting things i think could be a joke on this oh no say it on this and then if

people that's like true say it on this and then like your fans the people the listeners okay so That's true. Say it on this, and then your fans, the people, the listeners will listen back. It's basically the first time I was like, hi, hi. Hot Pockets done. Hot Pockets done. She's going to come back. Yep. So first time I smoked was in high school.

Got high in my friend's basement. Didn't really know I was high. Apparently it was high because we ate Costco-sized amounts of everything. Hell yeah, dude. Hot pockets done. Your hot pockets ready? That's what I came for. We should have just gotten it for you.

She walked underneath the table. You got irresponsibly high. I ate Costco amounts of food. I wouldn't even think I was irresponsibly high because I didn't feel like I was high. Sure. Just felt good. Giggly. Yeah, we we watched Despicable Me and I didn't think it was funny, though, so I didn't even

think I was that. I think I just got like munchy high. OK. I also probably didn't even smoke it correctly. Yeah, there was a lot of that. Yeah. A lot of fuckery. So then I didn't I was like, I really didn't have a desire to smoke.

I didn't drink in high school. Wait, how old are you, brother? I'm 25. So when you were in high school, did they have schwag? I have no idea what the fuck that is. You have no idea what that is? Oh, man. I'm older.

Okay, so I'm 31. So we had schwag, which was like a brick, a fucking brick of weed. Like you can get like a pound for like 800 bucks, but it sucked. fucking brick of weed like you can get like a pound for like 800 bucks uh but it sucked like there was so many beaners in it uh um so many like stems like a stem like literally the size of like this cord would be in it it's just insane uh and it wasn't good but if you like and you you'd get sleepy right away from it you wouldn't even you know like sometimes when you smoke you get sleepy like an hour after or something. This dude gets sleepy immediately. We'd call it schwaginitis.

You just get sleepy from smoking. But it's good. It didn't taste very good. But then you guys, your generation, just passed all that stuff. Every time I talk to 25, 26-year-olds and younger. See, I don't know enough about it. So I've never – first time I bought weed was legally. Whoa.

Yeah. Isn't that crazy? So I was lucky enough in college. I was everyone's bartender. OK, so where'd you go to school? Madison? Yeah. So.

I never let my friends pay for drinks and like my barber and I had a hookup basically. I would still tip him because I felt bad, but he'd be like, you don't pay for drinks. And, like, my barber and I had a hookup, basically. I would still tip him because I felt bad. But he'd be like, you don't pay for a haircut. I don't pay for drinks at the bar. I'm like, fine with me. I don't fucking care. It doesn't cost either one of us anything to give anything away. I mean, it costs the owner of the bar.

I was going to say, how'd that job go? Never got fired. Really? Hell yeah, dude. That's hilarious. I got a raise there once. Wow. For stealing from the inventory. Yeah. Well, that yeah, dude. That's hilarious. I got a raise there once. Wow. For stealing from the inventory.

Yeah. Well, that was his problem. Sorry, Bill. He was all like by hand inventory. Oh, yeah. So it wasn't like on the computer. So it was like, oh, we're down nine more bottles of vodka than we should be. Yikes.

Based on whatever. Are they still in business? So I never had to like pay. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They're one of the best bars in Dazn. Oh, whatever. Are they still in business? So I never had to, like, pay. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They're one of the best bars in Dresden. Oh, okay. Hell yeah.

So I never had to really, like, pay for drugs. Sure. If I ever wanted, like, do any of that. So I was like, I didn't have to buy. But then graduating, first time I bought weed was edibles in Michigan. I bought, like, a pack of 10, 5 milligrams. And that lasted me – a pack of 10 5 milligrams and that lasted me a pack of 25 milligram edibles lasted me a year wow so i've never been that into smoking i'm getting more and

more into it i mean i don't want to open up like pandora's box but this is crazy like i i feel like maybe i've been like smoking too much you know where it's like uh almost a dependency um my head just goes so many places and it freaks me the fuck out sometimes yeah yeah but it's also like i like i love being drunk coming back and then smoking a little bit and then i am so giggly it's a little crossed up my friends i will put on like comedy stand up and i'll just laugh my ass up and then wake up and i'm like i feel great feel great ready to go yeah i have noticed that you smoke after you drink you're i don't really get hung over in general yeah but i feel even better oh yeah if i smoke especially like if it's a hardcore night of drinking if i smoke right away

in the morning i'll be good usually for the day. Yeah, I can't grab another one. Thank you, brother. Yeah, dude, I used to get like weirdly high from when I was in high school though. Like I used to work at Menards and I remember this one time my buddy Trevor and I we worked together and he used to pick me up and bring me to work all the

time and we would just listen to instrumental beats and we'd like laugh all the time like we'd try to come up with our own raps and it was i feel like dying by lil wayne you're probably a little too young to remember that one that's an old school beat but i was like fucking spitting bars on this instrument like i was talking about tower seven i was talking about like 9-11 being the inside job i was talking about like just all sorts of illuminati and i was like spit like it was fucking fresh and i look over at him I was like spit like it was fucking fresh.

And I look over at him. I'm like after like three minutes. I'm like, dude, did you just hear that? And he's like, bro, literally the entire time. All you did was like that. You didn't say one fucking word the entire time. And we're sitting in the Menards parking lot. I was like, I don't think I should go to work right now. I just called in from the parking lot.

That's me though if i get too high i like i vividly remembered laying on the floor my buddy's laying on the couch and we're talking and i said something and they responded with something else i responded that and they're like what'd you say i go we're talking about like bunnies, right? He goes, no. Why would we talk about bunnies, you fucking idiot? I swear to God, that's what we were talking about for the last 10 minutes. He goes, where have you been?

It's been 30 seconds. I'm like, oh boy. Yeah, boy. So I'm like, what'd you say again? Yeah, that's. No, okay. So first time I was like, hi, hi, hi. I didn't understand the concept of edibles okay so i'm in college i'm in a fraternity and we had a rush event it's like let's hot box an

entire room for the kids that are like trying to be right yeah recently adults 18 year olds yeah they're all adults it's responsible um so i'm no one's getting like forced to do anything but like if you want to do it come join and so i go into the room like i can get contact i told i've been whatever like i could go hot box i'd be fine sure um so i go in and i'm like oh this is like legit. Like, a room double the size of this, I felt like, just littered with smoke. I'm like, holy fuck, we're going to start this house on fire. Sounds like my mom's car. I go get fresh air, and then I hear, Kyle brought the edibles.

And I was like, I don't need any. And Kyle's like, oh, they're small. If you want them, the bag's here. He brought them from Colorado. And I looked at them. They're these cookies about the size of this bottle cap. Oh, the bags here. He brought them from Colorado. And I looked at them. They're these cookies about the size of this bottle cap. Oh, nice, dude. Like Famous Amos.

Basically. And I go, oh, I can easily handle one of those. Tiny cookie, not a lot of weed. Take your soul? I took four. I take five milligrams now, and I'm like, I feel good. Like, depending on the kind, I feel like great on five. I could probably up at the 10 and I'd be like, I'm going to laugh my ass off for the night.

I took four tens. So I'm on 40 and I've never been past probably five in my life at that point. Oh, shit. And then our event was to go to comedy on state. Go to it. Go to it. So we all just sat in the back and I'm sitting there and I went, I'm like. And then our event was to go to Comedy on State. Go to it? Go to it. Oh, nice. So we all just sat in the back.

And I'm sitting there. And I went, I'm like having fun. And then it's almost like the darkness came in for me. And I was like, oh, shit. I was like, I know it's coming. Well, I didn't really know it was coming. I'm like, this might not end well. Get up, leave, go home.

So I live like half a mile away from Comedy on State at the time. I get hungry. I walk home. Wendy's has that four for five deal. Fuck yeah, dude. So I stop into Wendy's. I'm like, you know what would be better than a four for five? Two four for fives.

An eight for ten. So I am double fisting Wendy's bags with four for fives. And I get out. And I'm like, I think someone's following me. And so I'm like, I don't want someone to know that I know they're following me. So I'm like this.

Couldn't just be somebody walking. It's the main street in Madison. A hundred people were walking. And I'm like, do this. I don't want him to know. I know he's following me. So I'm like trying to do this.

It got to the point where I'm doing like getting whiplash, trying to look and him not notice. Meanwhile, I look like I have onset Tourette's just down the field, downstate. I get halfway home, and there's a bar on the corner, and I round it. And I know he's far enough behind me that he can't see me when I round it. So I rounded it, dead on sprint for a quarter behind me that he can't see me when I round it sir so I rounded it dead on sprint for a quarter mile two bags of Wendy's in my hand got my eyes closed what did you think this guy was gonna do I don't know that's the thing I was like

this guy is following me either he wants my Wendy's or he wants to fuck me exactly so I just sprinted I mean I guy, it was like not even late. It was like 930, and a guy is sprinting through campus with two bags of Wendy's in his hands. Honestly, probably not the weirdest thing people saw. Definitely not the weirdest thing. I have stories up the ass of the way they go. Yeah, I've had a good moment. Actually, I broke my nose on Madison once.

Did I ever tell you that story? No. So when I was like 19, I was dating this girl, and she was like a cheerleader. We went to high school together, but we started dating after high school, and she became a cheerleader at Madison. And she was like hot as fuck. She was gorgeous, but it was like her first – How old were you, by the way?

19 at the time. How old am I right now? 31. Okay. So she's – She's 31 as well. Probably a little past my time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's old as shit now. She's 31 as well Probably a little past my time Yeah yeah yeah

She's old as shit now But she's 31 Yeah right Shout out to the cheerleader Yeah shout out Emily I love you You old bitch You old washed up floozy

Sorry But No so we hung out It was like our first date And we were at like some party And she did like a fucking backfl And we were at like some party. And she did like a fucking backflip. We were playing beer pong.

And she did a backflip to like psych me out and like make me miss. And in my drunken stupor, I was like, I can fucking do that, dude. And I was like, I can totally do that. I've never tried a backflip once except for like on a trampoline or anything like that. And so I'm like, I can do that. And tried a backflip, landed right like on a trampoline or anything like that and so i'm like i could do that and uh did try to backflip landed right on my face broke my nose uh you know the fact that i was about to ask you did you land it when you started with the story i this is how i broke my nose shows you how terrible yeah you're great at this man no. No, that's good. I've learned to just shut up sometimes. Clip it. How you feeling, Michael?

Are you ready to talk to the devil? Yeah. We can talk to the devil. I want to give you 50 milligrams and just see what happens tonight. We won't do it tonight. All right. I'll do a 50 with you. It just, like, locked me in a room.

Right, yeah. Don't let you leave. Well, we could lock you in the high note. And you can just hang out with the creatures of the night until midnight let evan turn the cameras on be like let's just watch michael let's see what happens let's see what he does yeah start eating paint i would probably just be like playing with like the bottles behind the bar dude i'll be out there like just staring when mark norman were you here that day mark norman came over here came to here yeah i came here like over new year's i want to say

this year yeah no so i was uh fuck i was in nashville oh okay so nashville gave me a pretty good bit though so i can't complain yeah the national i mean nashville in the winter time beats wisconsin in the winter time but mark norman came in here uh one of my favorite comedians he just came in one night after uh the open mic and he's just like hanging out and it's on new year's eve and um so i see him but i'm like 120 milligrams deep on edibles like i was talking to satan in the bathroom and uh like i drugged all the comics consensually uh i'd be upside down in the bathroom i was given i was given all the comics edibles that night night. It was so fun. So we're all looking like we're all on heroin when Mark Norman comes in. And then I just realized, like, I'm just staring at him.

Like, that's it. I'm a big fan, man. And, like, I know because I'm homies with Charlie Behrens, and I know Charlie knows Mark. And so I go up to him. I was like, hey, I know Charlie. I'm friends with Charlie. But I forgot his last name.

He's like, who the fuck are you talking about and i was like ah you're my hero i love you i'm sorry i'm like balls deep on the edibles right now and i felt like a creep staring at him uh but that's okay was he nice that you remember oh yeah i think i mean like he didn't uh he did say that he went to high note on his podcast and then he like, but I left because there were a bunch of creatures there, and I feel like I was singled out in that moment. You know, I was like, fuck. You made it on Mark Norton's podcast. Not by name, though.

But that's how I got it. Mark, same favorite. Huge fan. All right. Huge fan. Would you say he's your favorite comic? No, but he's up there. He's up there?

Yeah. I like him. I didn't really discover him much. And I've been watching comedy for a long, long time, it feels like. That's all I think I knew for a while. I used to go hide. Remember when Netflix was movie delivery? Yeah, dude.

But they had extra stuff on the computer. I don't know if you knew this, but you could get certain movies delivered, but their catalog on the computer was a little larger. Oh, yeah, but then you had to pay a different rate for that at the time,

right? Yeah. So my family did that and I would sit in my dad's office because that's where the computer was sure and i would watch um like the blue collar comedy dude i grew up on that i love it yeah ron white's one of my fucking heroes ron white i love bill ingvall yeah jeff foxworthy larry the cable guy like that i would love like you ever have like pipe dream thoughts where like let's say you make it one day like how would you run a tour or something like that i would love like you ever have like pipe dream thoughts where like let's say you make it one day like how would you run a tour or something like that I would love to do that like barstool thing

they do at the end where they just sit down and like pictures and stuff like the wife sending pictures I thought it was the funniest thing and they tell stories of like their life I'm like I think that's a little influence I've had on dude no blue collar honestly I watched blue collar comedy tour and the blue Collar Comedy Tour rides again special so many times. I had both those VHS tapes. And apparently Billing Ball is one of the killers, like the uncrowned killers in comedy clubs.

Like he was squeaky clean for Blue Collar Comedy Tour because he had to be. But apparently that guy goes fucking dark and it's like one of the funniest things ever. Really? Yeah. I mean, that's what I hear through the grapevine. I would love to hear that then. I know. Like, I don't I don't even I guess I haven't been following his career too closely post

Blue Collar. But like Ron White, he's still obviously out there. Do you know if Bill and Ball still doing the damn thing? I don't know. Ron White, I think. So I watch the Rogan podcast. I don't know why I was hesitant about that, all the controversy. No, I don't fucking care. I think it's dumb.

I think everyone that listens to this is basically in the same boat as me. So I listen to the Ron White episode, and he's basically like, he might do one more special, and he's done. Yeah. I mean, he's basically like, he might do one more special, and he's done. Yeah. I mean, he said that for the past. Yeah, he's probably like 70 by now, right? I don't know. Mid-60s at least.

60-something, yeah. Mid-60s at least. You know, like his staple was drinking and smoking. He quit drinking. I know. Yeah, it's kind of crazy. I was oddly like, you should be happy for someone like that, but like as a fan of him, you're like, I'm kind of disappointed. Well, it's also just like the staple because you'd always come out there with the whiskey on the rocks and the cigar.

I wonder if he brings like iced tea now or something. Yeah, now it's just iced tea. Yeah, exactly. Well, that's like apparently, what's his name? Larry the Cable Guy? Yeah. That guy will sell out football stadiums in Nebraska. Dude, I mean, if you get into the

blue-collar hick demographic, you have fans for life. Because they're not swaying any which way. I gotta be completely honest with you. I know, when I went on the road with Charlie for a few gigs, it's kind of weird because I

know him. Just seeing fans geek out about him like i i remember talking to him one night i was like dude you're this generation's jeff foxworthy you realize that right and like to some extent him and theo von really are like i mean theo von's probably a bigger name in the comedy i think that'd be a cool tour if they did something like that too that'd be like the north and the south meet like that's like the civil war tour i told him that i was like bro civil war tour you and theovan you guys will sell out west nice first like southern hill i don't know something with southern and like fucking dirty yeah um that would be a fun tour to see like i mean but it's so weird when you see somebody geek the fuck

lines of people. Lines of people, as far as you can see, waiting to meet this guy. I'm like, this fucking guy? But I love him. It's that Midwest thing where you get a Midwest demographic. You have fans for life. Forever. Dude, 1,200 people.

I was geeking out having this opportunity. I saw your post. 1,200 people. I was geeking out having this opportunity. I saw your post, like 1,200 strong. 1,200 people sold out multiple shows back to back. I've been doing this for a few months. I'm like, I wish. Yeah. I mean, dude, give it a few years. You'll get an opportunity like that.

And I know a few people that were pissed that I got the opportunity. It was like, what, you want me to fucking say no, dude? Exactly. What do you want me to say? Exactly. Why would you? No, let me just pass on the biggest opportunity Of my life you know But yeah it's like

I mean 1200 people In Wausau Wisconsin Yeah You know That's a 50,000 Population town That's insane

1200 people It's so cool Yeah it's fucking nuts And he's probably Just as nice as Oh I gotta tell my parents Start with John Kinda

I love Johnny Boy. But he's, like, Charlie's just as nice as he probably seems. Yeah, he's a nice guy. So it didn't click to me when, like, being new. Because I, like, when you're coming on here new, I'm like, my head is like, what am I going to say? Right, right, right. I'm not being observant, which is weird for me because usually I'm a very observant person and one day I'm like

sitting on my phone and Charlie Barron's video comes up and John's in the video holy shit I know him I do open mics with him and I came to here on a Friday I'm like dude I saw you in a Charlie Barron's video.

How do you? And then before I got, how do you know him? I go, your last name is fucking Barron. How did I not put this together? How did I fuck that up? I know. How did I go? Never mind.

I know why. But awesome. It was cool to see you. I love the video. That's funny. I trained John as well at my gym, and he always gets a Gatorade. And we have this little thing where you just sign up on the sheet like uh what things you take from the fridge and then like we charge your

account you know and um so john wrote his name down john barons and then like uh one of my other clients is just like is that charlie's brother and i'm like yeah and they're like do you think you could put me in the appointment after him so I can meet him? I'm like, you mean meet the famous guy's unfamous little brother? Yeah, I mean, I guess if you want. People get weird about it. He'll definitely say, John is one of the nicest people here. Oh, dude, John's one of my favorite people on the planet.

John's one of my favorite people on the planet. I love the way he dresses. It's on, I mean, I love John. What is going on up there? I have no idea what time is it? 7.23, I guess. dresses. I love John. What is going on up there? I have no idea what time is it. 7.23. 7.23? Okay, I guess people are coming here.

I think they open at 7. But I don't know why they're... I feel like they're doing this to piss us off. I only used this for an hour. Okay. We can do it. If you're not going anywhere, we can do the last 14 minutes. Yeah, let's go deep.

Let's go weird. I'm down for it. I was going to, we can do the last 14 minutes. You've gone. Otherwise, yeah, let's go deep. Let's go weird. I'm down for it. I was going to bring something else up. I completely forgot something about the John and Charlie Berenstain. No, I do. I want to. Would I be able to find a way into you? Like, so you like I talk about last week when we mentioned you doing this.

I was like, maybe I just come on like three o'clock and we do a training thing and then we're on to this. Obviously, that's like like, too short notice. Oh, yeah, yeah. But how, what's the, like, wait line for you training people? Yeah. I can get you in next week, depending on your schedule. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, how late do you usually work? I try to get out of here, get out of there around, like, 6. Oh, I could definitely do that then. What do you prefer doing? Do you like doing your jujitsu stuff? I definitely definitely do that then. What do you prefer doing? You like doing your jujitsu stuff? I definitely prefer doing martial arts. But if strength training is something you want to do, I can help you with that for sure.

I don't know. I've gotten into very good shape recently. And now it's just like I kind of want someone's opinion. Like, where do I go from here? Yeah, well, we could do an assessment and everything, figure it out. Are you good on nutrition stuff? No. I mean, I know what's – yes, I can help you and guide you the right way.

But, no, I'm not, like, a nutrition of, like – that's not my thing. Yeah, nutritionist. Because I'm usually pretty good about eating, but I want to know – like, I want to go get one of those tests done that's not my thing. Because I'm usually pretty good about eating, but I want to know, like I want to go get one of those tests done that's like, alright, what is your body like, oversensitive? Why is it like when I eat this or that, or like what is it

that I'm eating that like I feel instantly tired or I'm like bloated all of a sudden or my face puffs up? Oh, like inflammation and all that stuff? Can I limit some of that? I wonder if it's like a wheat thing. I always think it has to do with excessive carbs or something like that.

I know, and I haven't gotten blood tests to figure this out, but just from personal feeling, I know on a lower carb diet, I feel way better. If I have lots of red meats and veggies and a little amount of carbs, I feel way, way better.

I agree. I definitely think it's a lot of carbs. I think there's a few other things there might be. Maybe just little things. I'm like, oh, you can cut that out. Maybe a little less of this or that. I'm very curious to see what makes my body tick and what's going to make it go

fucking boom. I know know I've always like wanted and when I competed in martial art like mixed martial arts I was definitely more disciplined with my diet now I kind of are you done competing yeah yeah I did you compete um from like 2012 to 2000, 18. Yeah. Yeah. Been a minute now. Like I think a black belt in anything.

Uh, not technically. No, no. I like, uh, so basically I feel like I would have gotten my black belt, um, already, but the gyms I'm at right now, the highest rank is like a single stripe or not a, a no stripe black belt. And in jujitsu, you'd need a single stripe on your belt no stripe black belt and in jiu-jitsu you need a single stripe on your belt to be able to award a black belt so i've been like no one can award you yeah um but i always like i have a joke with guys in the gym is like brown belt and the gi black belt

in the in the streets you know and uh but so it's like i like it but at the same time it's like i'm not in a rush to get the black belt until I can tap every black belt that I meet. Yeah. And like then I'm like, OK, now I'm a fucking black belt. You know, you want to feel like you are. And that's definitely one of those things where like I don't just want to get it. I want to earn it. Right.

Because like there's there's black belts and then there's black belts like black belts that I can tap right now. Yeah. And then there's black belts like like can tap right now yeah and then there's black belts like like my homie dan you up uh my homie dan borovich is one of the best grapplers on the planet um and he like him and i roll probably three times a week i'd say and this guy i can make people feel like they don't know what they're doing just and it's not like a matter of being tougher or anything it's just like i've been doing it longer and i know what to do um dan makes me feel like i don't know what they're doing. It's not a matter of being tougher or anything. It's just like I've been doing it longer and I know what to do.

Dan makes me feel like I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. Makes you feel like if I just got in the ring or whatever. It's kind of insane. Him and I started rolling during the... I don't know if the mic picked that up, but I'm pretty sure somebody just got murdered upstairs.

Somebody just got dragged across the floor pretty sure somebody just got murdered upstairs. Somebody just died. Just got dragged across the floor. Yeah, just by the scalp. That was brutal. I'm kind of nervous. That's piss. We got to hide it. Yeah, no kidding.

That's crazy. Yeah, you're frightened. Oh, yeah. Dan Hill just like schooled me, you know, just completely schooled me. And then like we started training in the quarantine. This is how irresponsible I was during the middle of the lockdown. No, beginning parts of the lockdown. Like, all the gyms closed down.

And then Dan's like, hey, do you want to roll? Can we roll at your gym? And I'm like, yes. Absolutely. Dude, I would love that. Yeah. I hated when the gym. That was my, like, that's where, like.

I don't get it either because everybody's spread out, especially like in a weightlifting gym. Nobody's like on each other. I went to the gym once where like you need to have a mask on. I did it one day. I was like, I'm not fucking doing this. I'll go do pushups at home. I can't do this. I fucking hated that lockdown having to work out at home.

I just had like this old this old those assault bikes. Those are brutal. I think it was my mom's old one and I think it's broken. I broke it. I used it so much because turning it to make it... It's an older one. You twist it and it gets a little more

resistance and stuff like that. Is it a spin bike or an assault bike? The one with the fan in the wheel? Oh, it doesn't have the fan. Okay, so that's a spin bike. Yeah, a spin bike. But you can make it – you could increase the resistance. You can adjust it by making it tougher.

But, like, I think I broke the band, so, like, it wouldn't – there was no resistance anymore. So I'm just doing the same thing. I'm like – I have, like – I'm addicted to my watch, so, like, I have to close my rings. You have to burn the calories. You have to burn the calories. I have to burn the calories because it's like, all right, this is what got me to lose the weight and get back into shape.

Were you a fat boy? I wasn't a fat boy. Thick boy? I got out of shape in college. I was a multi-sport athlete in high school, and so when you're used to your metabolism being through the roof, eating whatever you want, and then you just stop then and i didn't drink in high school either and so then i add alcohol i started drinking like a fish in college so i'd stop sports i add alcohol and my diet sucks yeah like you had

a grace period of freshman year and then sophomore junior year it was like i mean it was like it was a balloon just yeah that was my my brother same thing he was yeah i was fortunate enough to never like i'm insane so i need to work out for my mental health or else i just like that's me now that's my therapy quote unquote right right i mean it's kind of true though uh i don't yeah well it's like funny when people say like the gym is my therapy. I was like, oh, OK. What do you guys talk about? It's all in my head. It is my therapy, but it's all internalizing.

No, I get it, though. It is a form of therapy. It's like a weird form of relaxation. You're like, if you have little frustrations, you just kind of get it out by like exerting energy. Right. Like that's why I think people call it therapy um but like i'm almost kind of thankful now that i'm past that stage that i got out of shape because now i appreciate how i look and being in shape now and like the way i eat and stuff like that you notice how you feel better oh my god it's like

and i still do it to myself so like my diet regimen is like i'm clean monday through friday saturdays hit or miss friday nights and like friday night through saturdays hit or miss sunday because i saturday i usually don't eat because i'm drinking which is so bad it's so fucking bad so sunday i'm like you know what you You deserve the calories. You've earned it. Whatever the fuck you want. It's just carbs, sugar, fat. The littlest amount of protein. Are you usually a beer guy or a liquor guy? So I switched from beer. I like beer.

Lighter beers. Sure. I'm not an IPA person. Yeah, I'm not either. I drink Guinness every once in a while. I do enjoy, depending on where I'm at. I don't know. I can't pinpoint where I'd be. I need a Guinness every once in a while. I do enjoy, depending on where I'm at. I don't know. I can't pinpoint where I'd be.

I'm like, I need a Guinness. Some Irish bar. When I first tried to get into shape, I switched to vodka sodas just because, like, I can limit calories. And I'm limiting sugar as well. And so I was like, I just kind of stuck with it. So now when I go up here, I feel so bad. What's her name again? The bartender? Oh, no idea. No clue just kind of stuck with it. So now when I go up here, I feel so bad. What's her name again? The bartender?

Oh, no idea. No clue. I'm terrible with names. Actually, I don't think she's that cold. Krista? No. That sounds right. But she now knows, like, when I come up, she goes, do you want your drink?

Yeah, she's good at that, dude. She's great. It also shows I've been here enough times. Yeah. I know. She goes, you want it again? Double? I'm like, yeah.

But she always, like, makes fun of me. She goes, no straw? I know you hate them. I'm like, yeah, they're always makes fun of me. She goes, no straw? I know you hate them. I'm like, yeah, they're the worst fucking straws ever. Are they paper straws here? I usually only drink beer because I will go to a dark place if Avery drinks liquor. See, this fills me up, though. So I can start with beer.

I don't believe in that whole beer before liquor, never been sicker, or before beer, you're in the clear kind of shit. I don't know about that. It's more like just drink your alcohol if you're not a pussy kind of thing. Sure. And so, like, I'll have a few of these. Like, we'll finish this is my guess. Yeah. Let's go.

And then speaking of it, let's just finish this real quick. Yeah. And then I'll ask the final question. Hi. Ah! the final question hi ah we gotta do one where we're not in the basement though yeah yeah sorry i have no problem no that's fine i have no problem doing repeat guests now especially now that we're doing like the comics so um who else is it gonna have on we gotta have time on here man you gotta have to have Ton on here, man. You got to have me and Ton on here. Oh, I would love that.

Ton is another one of those people that just simply, like, I don't think it was compliments, but, like, gave me advice. So the first time I ever was, like, quote, unquote, heckled. He was the first person to give me advice. Quote, unquote, heckled for me. So, like, this just super drunk guy came in. It was a Tuesday night or Friday night. People were on a showcase or whatever.

No one was here. It was, like, six of us, Tom being one of them, which surprised the hell out of me. I was like, I think of all people, you would be gone somewhere else. But off night for him. This guy came in and just was, like, just saying things to me. And I was. Like, while you were on stage? Yeah.

And I did not handle it well. I don't think I handled it poorly, but at one point I was like... What did you say? Well, I'll tell you. So it got to the point where I was like... I couldn't understand him. Just drunk?

So I was like, I can't give you a rebuttal. Was he just like hammered coming in? He was wasted. Like, we're about to send you to the hospital wasted. And then he just... I ignored him and I went back to my set. And then, which wasn't doing well either at the time. And then I, he said something again at the very end. I had gotten the light and he said something.

I'm like, hey, I just stopped. I go, listen, I don't care if the rest of my set's done. But like, hey man, shut the fuck up for the rest of the comics. And Tom's like, hey, stop. Finish your set the rest of the comics and tom's like hey stop finish your set do what you need to work on don't worry about him and i was like okay i was like all right be a little more professional even though we're at the high note no offense i know but like i get it yeah and afterwards he's like hey i don't know if you can hear him or not but like here are other like things I would like to say.

You could say to him instead, blah, blah, blah. And I appreciate that someone coming up, the comics are like, you could do this to be better. Because I think the comics who do that only benefit themselves as well. If you have every comic on this show tonight that does well, it means everyone. I like following people that do well. Me too. Because then the crowd's having fun, and so you're more likely to laugh everybody's having anything you say um why do you want everyone to do bad so i that's i get i'm very appreciative like him and like when rich said that or like just constructive criticism or um

oh someone else i forgot let me ask you the last question okay here let me one up here real quick on this uh so when i was new to comedy you cannot get worse than this i had a guy there was this three a group of three two guys and this girl sitting in this back room at art bar you ever go over there i don't even think they do comedy out there anymore but they used to do comedy there like every other thursday at like 10 30 11 o'clock at night and it was always just a shit show uh but so i'd go over there and um there was this group of three people i was like the last comic on the list and they were talking the whole night just like being very loudly not being respectful at all um and i got like i was probably three months four months after my

last fight i was in like a whole other world at this time yeah um and like i just basically and i'm kind of wild boy i know you and i know each other like i'll get a little wild sometimes and uh but you know like i saw this guy and he just wouldn't shut the fuck up so i told him i was like hey man can you shut the fuck up i'm trying to do something here he's like nah and i'm just like you know if we were in prison you'd be my bitch right and like i said that just right then and there everybody got so uncomfortable bro everybody got so i know i think that i like i pulled out my pocket i was like hold my pocket bitch and then like everybody got weird as fuck around it i was like i thought that was hilarious yeah it was in the middle of river west but uh yeah it's all good but so you can't you can't fuck it up as much as that man dude oh god i wish i could have seen that

it was pretty funny gary zazikowski was there and uh gary like this guy tried to get in my face afterwards and gary like broke the whole thing up. It was crazy. I choked out a racist magician. Did you ever hear about that story? You want to talk about something fun? So this was around the same time frame, around three, four months into comedy, right after MMA and competing in mixed martial arts. I was up and under.

And there was this magician who used to come around his name was andy falk and he would come around and he was doing like weird magic with comedy and for whatever reason i mean not whatever reason the guy sucked and he was creepy uh but he was just bombing it up and under and nobody was listening to him. Yeah. Nobody's listening to him. A lot of black people in this room. Okay. Um, a lot of Asians, a lot of, there was like a couple of Indian guys in there. Uh, but then he just starts dropping the N bomb, like hard ER to not like, ah, but er, you know, it was like, Whoa, buddy. Uh, and then I'm sitting with my buddy Niles, uh, Niles Nelson, who's an, he doesn't really do comedy too much anymore.

Uh, but he's from the area, black dude. Uh, we're sitting next to each other and the guy just starts dropping all these end bombs. And then Niles is like, boo. And everybody else is like, boo, you know? And then the magician jumps off the stage and charges at Niles and they start like pushing each other. And then I get in the middle of it to try and break it up and then the magician fucking Ames is

punching at Niles but missed and hit me and then I got all pissed I could just like saw red yeah like I was like right off like I think this was in February my life last fight was in December so it was like two three months afterwards I and I'd like just took his back And just strangled him out cold In the middle of this bar Like out cold, like asleep And then I felt his body

Like drop And then I set him down very nicely Like I set him down Very soft on the floor And then I raised his legs up To get the blood back in his brain and then he woke up like really confused and then the bar then the bouncers came up and escorted him out of the bar was like you're fucking welcome dude um but yeah but it was dude

it was bananas it was uh one of the most but that gave me a lot of street cred in the comedy scene so that was pretty weird dude it was a good night it was a wild night it was fucking wild dude uh but it was it's kind of weird to think about it now and now he still threatens me on facebook like he's uh i blocked him before he'll get new profiles just to harass me online so i'm 31 years old i have an ongoing feud with the magician magic comic yeah which is great and he's only the only room he's not banned from is rounding third on sunday nights yeah i haven't done that you're not missing much uh but like so that's the only room he's not or not banned from in the in the city and i was thinking about like getting a restraining order from him and then just going to rounding

third i never go to rounding third but just out of principle just to get him banned because i'm fucking petty dude because i have a million messages of this guy like threatening me my family my girlfriend he's gonna make you disappear uh-huh yeah i'll make him disappear that's cool man um all right all right final question my bad i just know you're good you're good um what time is it 7 40 oh we're gonna go up and we're basically gonna be ready to go yay um i will let you help me pack it up i will i'll do that i'm gonna pee first so um it's the only time i've been like i will ever be like serious is the final question like semi-serious okay um so each season i ask like a different question sure the reason i did stand up the question was what's something you

gotta do for your birthday kind of thing so you have like a year to do it and i hold my friends accountable um haven't really held any of them accountable yet um but this one and the final one is basically what do you live by so like is there code like you have a code like um is there like a quote did you ever like witness an episode of something you have like a family model do you have like what basically like why do you live your life the way you do why do you do stand-up why is jujitsu your passion why is comedy your passion fitness why like like for example mine um there's a quote that says uh every man has two lives his second one starts when he realizes he has just one oh yeah that's good so it's like um i guess to answer your question on a serious note is i like things that are hard

i like things that are ever changing i don't like uh static equations i like dynamic equations i love math i love chess uh because it's a dynamic equation it's always changing right uh because like if i give you a math problem like eight times three that's a static equation it stays the same but an ever moving one like jujitsu martial arts, that's a problem that's always changing. Chess is a problem that's always changing. Constantly moving variables. And like having to figure out what your opponent is going to do before they decide that they're going to do it. And then you can jeopardize on it.

That's why I like martial arts is because it's just like human chess and it's human problem solving with like really intense consequences. problem solving with like really intense consequences but like with comedy i like it in the same aspect because it's like i got into this because i wanted to make people laugh and maybe initially i didn't get into it for the like i got into it for the right reasons making people laugh but i didn't understand it as an art yeah in a craft in itself but it's always changing like the way the the word economy the how you say your sentences how you structure your jokes that'll make or break you and like one word one um one fuck could fuck you over for the rest of the thing a pause a weird tone like it could just fuck everything up so i like the energy and it's all energy yeah it's all energy and tension i feel

like that's a big part of it as well um but i i guess like yeah i i like doing things that are hard that i don't think i can ever be a true master of but like i'm in the pursuit of being one yeah i feel like if you ever master anything it's good you don't you get bored yeah uh i mean i guess i don't know i don't know if it gives you something to constantly work at right like i mean it's redundant but like it's true it's true like there's people that are wizards like like my buddy dan my buddy dan that jiu-jitsu ace we were talking about like he's been on he's beaten gordon ryan i'm sure that means nothing to you, but Gordon Ryan is basically like the NFL. He's like the fucking world champion of submission wrestling, jiu-jitsu.

My buddy Dan has beat him twice, lost him once. They're 2-1 against each other, but he's like the motherfucker. But Dan will still tell me about bad days at the gym where he got tapped like eight times. So it's like an ongoing thing. It's like a Rubik's cube that can't be solved. I like that. It's a challenge. Well, we'll end it here.

We did it. Alright guys, stay black. Have a good night. We gotta go drink some more and try and make, I don't know, six people left tonight, you think? I'm gonna sign up late as fuck. Same. I'm going way late. I'll do four minutes. I don't care. That's what I like to do at High Note. I like to get in with the karaoke crowd.

Karaoke crowd, yeah. You know. A hundred percent. Because like, you know, it's all, it is what it is. I don't know what I'm trying to say. Well, thank you for doing this. Yeah, man. We'll do this again.

Maybe, maybe we can do a separate one that will make people pay for where I just get dumb high. Let's do it. And you talk at me. Yeah, let's do it. We'll do that. I want to take you to the loony bin, dude. We'll do that, man.

Yeah.