Fat Chance Podcast - Ep.5 - Jake Gain

Episode Date: February 15, 2021

Kicking off what I am considering Nashville week, Jake Gain joins the show for the first of a two episode week. We talk about his upcoming move to Nashville, police encounters, Pebble Beach and of course covid and its endless impacts.

Like, they want to interview you tomorrow morning. And I haven't had this long of hair ever. So I'm like, and I just wear a hat every day. I'm like, holy shit. What am I going to do with this? So I just took gel and went straight back. Just straight back. Sent a picture to my parents.

My mom's like, yeah, you look like a douche. Yeah, it's time to cut the hair. Yeah. So as soon as I can't wear a hat to work anymore, I'm not sure if I can or not yet in the new one. You have a year of work from home, though, you said. So you can wear it for the next year. Yeah, but I mean, I don't know how much they're into, like,

the WebEx show your face all the time thing. Oh, WebEx? Like Zoom? WebEx, Zoom, Teams. Dude, my feet are fucking freezing down here. It's cold down here. It's cold down here. It's cold down here. It's about one degree out today, I think, and we are in a basement.

Yeah, in Wisconsin. You want to go get some shoes? No, I'll be all right. All right. I'm still, I think I'm going to bring it up. That fucking cop kind of pissed me off, like ruined the start of my day. I think it's kind of funny. I mean, it's funny, but I'm like, dude.

of my day i think it's kind of funny it's i mean it's funny but i'm like dude it's like how braxton said you guys when you first started podcasting it's like i felt like i did that and i'm like it was for the podcast yeah that was for you to talk about today yeah it's a good start no on the way here there's a street pewter obviously we know but it's downhill and it kind of winds and i'm in four wheel drive and every other turn i've handled it just fine i'm going the speed limit i probably should have slowed down because it's going downhill so like i am at fault and i started to slide and didn't there were no cars coming at me there was a hill above me and i i slid a bit i corrected my mom's gonna hate hearing this i swear i swerved a bit corrected it got back on and but as i was swerving and recorrecting back into my lane i wasn't that far into the other lane

a fucking cop car comes over the hill so mad i'm like oh i'm screwed if this guy doesn't slow down like my day is over before it starts and but i he obviously he probably would have drank more if he got a ticket or something he slowed down and i wasn't even close like that's just your thought you see a cop like i'm gonna fucking hit him but he wasn't even close to me and i got back in my lane real quick and he was like just aggressively just like his hands going up and down. He says, slow down, slow down. I'm like, I know, I'm sorry, whatever. And then I see him in the rear view, just he keeps going his direction.

This is like five minutes away from my house or so? Two minutes from your house. Two minutes from your house. And we drive. I get the last stop sign and go through it, still don't see him. I turn into the neighborhood, and there's the final turn. As I'm turning, I, like, for some reason look behind me, and there's a cop car. I'm like, there's no way it's this guy.

Like, he kept going the other direction. I would have saw him turn around. He ripped a U-ey. Ripped a U-ey. And, by the way, that man was not driving very slow if he caught up to me, which is funny because when, by the way, the cop car is behind me, and I pull into your driveway. I'm like, what are the chances this is that same little prick? You're just like, all right, Lightning McQueen.

Okay, prick is probably not a nice thing to say about him because he was like, I don't want to see you get hurt, but he said it in a very rude way. He was asserting dominance. Yeah, I got out of the car and I said, is there a problem? He goes, driving a little fast for the conditions, where are you? I was driving the speed limit. I wasn't going over. He goes, well, driving a little faster. I'm like, I heard you the first time.

And I just didn't know what to tell him. I didn't think I was driving fast. I apologized for swerving. I wasn't even close to hitting him. And he goes, well, there is a statute for driving for the conditions. I'm like, well, dude, how the fuck did you catch up to me? Because you're going way over that statute. And he just kind of, like, sat there.

Like, I thought you were going to come out right away and just be like, what the fuck is happening? I didn't see you guys when I was driving. Yeah. And we just sat and talked and drove for five minutes. He goes, I don't want to see you get hurt or swerve. Because that's just not good for anyone. I'm like, hey, man, you didn't need to get out, slam your door, put your little speed glasses on.

Oh, drive a little faster for the conditions, weren't you? It was those tiny ones that you see. Oh, yeah. Just like, hey, man. The stereotypical cop ones if they're not silver. Fucking loser. Yeah. That's funny.

I wonder. I don't know what went through my head. Just defund the sunglasses. I wish I did see a cop pull into my driveway following you because I don't know what I would have thought you did. I'm like, this is going to be a great start to the day. Was this man having a road beer just headed on over? He did say we were going to have a few drinks at a couple, two, three, 13. No, I honestly was not driving fast at all.

And you know what? I get it. It should have gone even slower and just taken it extremely slow. However, you know what? Everyone slips and slides a bit. My little slide in my turn just happened to be right in front of a guy who's probably not happy he's on patrol during a snowstorm. Yeah, no, I was, my dad was driving his truck and I was following him this morning. It was coming down pretty good at that point.

I mean, my little Camry and I think I got to like 45 degrees of where I'm supposed to be going at one point. Like you're sliding all over the place. Yeah, I mean, even if you're turning. If you're not a four-wheel drive thing, you're a fish tank. Even with the four-wheel drive, when I pulled into the gym, I mean, I was going two miles an hour maybe pulling into the parking lot, and my car still just didn't turn right when you wanted it to. It's just part of it. But you know there's no one around you.

Got to love Wisconsin. Have you been in an accident before? Like my doing? Like I'm driving? Yeah. No. Hit another car, went into a ditch. Something you had to call the insurance company for.

No, I've been close. Well, knock on wood. Yeah, knock on wood. Jesus Christ. My first one was almost with a fucking car. What? That would have been so bad. No, the only accident I've been in, I've almost been in a few.

I've almost rear-ended someone in high school, like just a buddy. Like we were doing donuts in a parking lot or something like that. I remember just like slamming on the brakes and having to turn, just barely missing his car. Although it was the only accident i've ever been in my dad was driving and we hit a car and it was in our own fucking neighborhood just boom head hit the dash it wasn't that's why you're so messed up hey yeah a little lump in the head no it's i'm gonna have you no no also knock on wood yeah jeez i uh the only thing i've done is hug that little pole in our parking garage which is what i got to go get appraised for the fix today that's 1500 bucks where most of the tax return is gonna go 1500 yeah like i never looked at how bad's the side swipe it's not that bad it's just it's it's

like more than just the paint so they have to replace the whole dang panel and uh okay if i if i try to trade that car and they're gonna knock it down so much so yeah i'm gonna get it fixed up trade it in get a truck i mean you were gonna show i was probably there was probably used no point in shopping for a truck today. No. I mean, you would have had some good road tests. So, like, how well does this handle in the snow? Actually, true.

Guy would have been freaking out. Hey, stop fishtailing your precious thing. Testing out how good this works against the Ford, man. This is it. That one didn't fishtail as much. No, it's not like you really need it in the snow. I kind of like the TV sound out here, although it's going to distract the fuck out of me. Can we turn this down just a bit? Watching a little Pebble Beach, Jordan Spieth giving everybody the work.

What happened? Out of nowhere, he's just winning. Not winning, but he's in the winner's circle. Yeah, he said at Waste Management last week, he just felt like he was hitting the ball a lot better. I mean, golf, that's all confidence. Even as bad as we are, we can go out there one day and feel like Tiger Woods the next day.

You can't get one off the ground. No, but it was out of – because he struggled so much. It's good to see him do well. honestly thought like it was good to see him i wanted him to win so bad just like not a fluke but kind of a fluke just i don't know where he wins and you kind of think like he had that bad fourth round last week i was like oh it wasn't even bad kepka just went crazy yeah maybe it was like uh maybe it was just a fluke that he did well the first three rounds kind of back to what i kind of thought yeah but now he's tied for the lead again which is awesome to see yeah do you ever watch uh that foreplay pod barstool those there are so many

barstool podcasts i have that golf one yeah but there's, and I've seen it, but I couldn't tell you exactly. Like I couldn't picture the hosts. You would like those guys. They're hilarious. They're not that good at golf, but it's awesome how much they play. And like they do like a scramble against one pro guy. And it's super close every time. Super intense.

I would love to get paid to go scrim four man scrambles with my buddies and playing against like they're getting drunk or speed there they played against they played their four guys against darius rucker jake owen hardy and morgan wallen morgan wallen's on a timeout but um and jake owen got absolutely hammered during it darius rucker left on 15 so they pulled in chase rice it was it almost sounded made up but it looked so awesome that we're playing at some course in nashville jay that'd be so fun i mean that's what i don't like about i mean obviously there's many other things I don't like about Wisconsin weather and since I think we're all trying to move

and you actually are which is great but to be able to go do golf or outdoor sports or other activities granted like I like skiing and snowboarding but I haven't done it in forever and I did it once this year and like I have the HVAC but I don't have any equipment

the golf I have it already so I miss being able to year and like I have the itch back but I don't have any equipment the golf I have it already so I miss being able to just like go out and do it imagine being at Pebble right now we could just go play 18 get drunk right after this podcast it'd be a disgrace if we played Pebble Beach it'd be an absolute disgrace half the balls would be in the water but it would be so fun we'd look like

Phil on that one hole that was bad really bad but what I love about Phil though is like I've never seen him break a club. No. Oh, he just kind of laughs at himself. He goes, I think when he holed out, and he's like, that's a nine, man. That's why he's, like, the perfect. Really killing the par fives today.

That's why he's, like, the perfect one to play in when they did Brady and Manning with Phil and Tiger. Like, Phil's just, he was perfect for that i would honestly i think i would rather have phil as my partner just say i golfed with either one would be would be unreal say you golf with tiger who is perhaps the greatest golfer ever probably is wouldn't suck yeah but i think just for pure entertainment value and comedic effect, I think I would have way more fun with Phil. I think so too. I feel like I'd be a little looser with Phil,

where Tiger, I'd be like, I've got to hit him. I've got to hit a decent one every once in a while. I've always got to impress. Whereas Phil, I'm like, hey man, look who you're golfing with. I'm going to have fun no matter. I'd have fun either way, but I think you'd be able to joke around more at each person's expense. Like the one time I hit perhaps a closer chip shot than Phil does.

And I can be like, Hey man, maybe I should be on tour. If I said that to tiger, I think he'd run his putter up my fucking ass. Did you see the tiger documentary that came out? No, I want to though.

I heard it kind of makes his dad look bad. It makes his dad look really bad. Yeah. it makes him look kind of bad i mean by no means i mean he did have a rough patch for a while he had a pretty rough patch but uh oh shit it's like they they went really in depth with the bad parts and then the last two minutes they're like and then he came back in 2018 and won this tournament. And then he won the Masters in 2019. Blah, blah, blah. Okay, it's over.

And it's like, I wanted to see more of that part. Yeah. Not just all the bad shit. But I guess what most people don't know about is the bad stuff. I think you've got to find a happy medium in that stuff, though. Because. For sure. You do have to tell the bad side of someone's story.

But you do, you've you gotta emphasize his achievements as well like the mass when he came back and won the masters that should have been a huge chunk of the ending of that doctor i haven't seen it 30 seconds which is i mean it's a fucking masters after back surgery scandal like that's that's impressive he's done might never play professionally again but uh but it's the documentaries where you just kind of like pin someone in a certain, like, oh, fuck. I mean, it's an easy way to change a lot of people's perception of someone who's very educated on that sport, person, circumstances. They just kind of have their perception of someone is other people's perception of them they haven't created their own kind of thing yeah and you watch a documentary like oh they've done all

the research like he definitely was a bad person that's his dad basically tiger was born and his dad was like i'm gonna make this dude a machine this guy's gonna be the best golfer ever i mean he didn't fail he yeah i'm like dad why didn't you freaking do that for me i'm just a good maybe a good mediocre drinker do you do you ever think oh that's i've actually thought about this earlier this week you ever think like uh a talent you wish you had that you kind of wish your parents pushed on you earlier, even though you know you would have hated it the whole time you did it. Like, mine is piano.

Like, I would have hated lessons. It's not a chance. I would have gone, like, I quit. This is boring. I don't want to read music. I don't want to play do-do-do-do-do for three months, only to graduate to do-do-do-do-do. But, like, now, oh, my God, if i could just rip a piano or the guitar girls would actually like you yeah jesus it would really distract from the

personality when you said that i was my mind jumped to golf because we were just talking about yeah i think guitar for sure like if you could just shred even if you couldn't sing that great you could just keith urban the guitar that'd be amazing it'd be so cool i mine i think instrument wise is always going to be piano i don't know drums doesn't excite me yeah they're cool let that fire some other people up alex henry drums will fire him up he's good at them too really good yeah and it's awesome to see i just i've like tried to do the drums are so fucking confusing. I don't like that my feet are swinging right now.

I feel like a fucking child. I'm going to get you. Yeah, you're too short. Yours are too, jackass. They can't see that. Yeah, they can't see how short I am. Yeah, I guess the bar is a little too tall, but. That's all right.

We do look like children. It's so like demoralized like fuck it's all right and when you do it like it doesn't look good especially from like the the aerial view well good thing the camera can't see that but now everybody knows everyone knows just swinging away over here, guys. Jordan, I think, is not having a good back nine. This could honestly right now, this episode could just be a play-by-play. A play-by-play of Spieth falling apart. He looked at a win two weeks in a row, and now he's going to go back into the slump.

No, that's not going to happen. No, please don't. I like having the younger guys do well. For sure. Justin Thomas, I love him, but he's on timeout too, kind of. Less so than Morgan Wallen. Yeah. Ralph Lauren cut JT right away after that.

They have to. Like, there is no. Yeah. I think just as a big brand, like, you can't try to stick with one person who messes up in the public eye like that. Yeah. And obviously obviously some circumstances morgan wallen probably shouldn't and are you telling me that's just way over the line and

are you telling me there's no delay on this that for granite not saying we should you should hide it but for i don't even think whatever it's playing on the golf channel or cbs at the time do you want that over your broadcast you couldn't have yeah like not cut to him like guys are swearing all the time yeah we're not saying it's right but no is there not another guy who's probably another 20 who have done that in the last five years yeah that could have been oh exactly think of the average shitty golfer we probably swear once a hole at least. And it's obviously not a swearing. He said a more derogatory word.

And again, I don't think we're condoning that word at all. But I think what we're getting at is, and we're not saying it's okay. Well, I think they understood that now. I just need to be explicit about that. But you're telling me you can't. You never hear, what you're getting at is like you never hear people swearing on the actual broadcast because they bleep it out. Like you said. Or they just don't cut to them at that point.

Like, hey, it's not like I don't think he was competing to win. So the camera has to be on him. Whoever the announcer was right after JT dropped that word, he was like, oh, sorry. You guys easily could have just like turned his mic off it's that news still would have spread he still would have had probably just as much backlash because i mean it would have rumored but you don't need it over the broadcast if it wasn't on the broadcast i don't think it spreads oh for sure it does you think so yeah because someone who is there who heard it that's fair tells one person who tells another who tells two, and that just spreads.

And all of a sudden it's on Twitter, and it's like JT Allette says it's going to blow up. A little ripple effect. I mean, that would have blown up probably a day later than it actually did. True. But I don't think – it's such an easy – and not fix, but you don't need to – is that recording? Yeah, it's recording. That would have been so bad.

Take two. I'm such a rook. But that's such an easy fix, for lack of a better word. Hey, man, don't cut to the guy that's cursing up a storm. The Super Bowl didn't show the streaker. They did for a little bit. It was funny. They turned it off real quick.

Whatever. What is this? Have you seen the golf streaker? I've just seen pictures of it. I didn't see it live or anything. But the dude at one of the majors, I think it was like the U.S. Open or something, he ran across the 18th. Was it the 19th hole?

19th hole. He's got a flag in his ass chase or something like that that's fucking legendary amazing actually speaking of the streaker did you see the thing where he apparently placed a bet on himself that there'd be a streaker and won 350 that's the way to do it take that into your own hands is there a rule against that though that's like i mean there should be a little there there has to be something against that because i mean that's basically like uh what's the term what you're getting at like like it's basically like you know choking a game on purpose yes or if the coach like hey i bet they yeah you have a outcome you bet on that's

like betting on your own game if you're in the who pete rose obviously rosie in the game yeah but but at the same time i don't think that's ever happened i'm surprised this hasn't happened yet actually that sounds like i bet there's a streak i've actually there probably has they just never made it out of the field that man was just lucky enough because i thought it was like a thousand dollars to get him out of jail, but he netted over. You said he won $350? $350, yeah. He just won $349. I think it was more than that, too.

I think he bet $50,000, though, to win. That's a hefty. Can you imagine that? I'm betting $50,000 that my naked ass makes it onto the field. Also, he never got his pants fully off. I got his hands fully five minutes leading up to him running out there like what was he doing was he like sitting next to somebody with a big coat on or i'd love to get him on here just like even virtually talking can you just walk me through the process walk me through the the moment that idea landed in your head i'm gonna do this i bet

it landed the the minute he saw like there's an actual bet out there that there's gonna be a streaker i love the comments by how did you get tickets yeah during covid that what happened first did you get tickets or did you say if i get tickets wasn't wasn't everyone in their health care workers for the super bowl so that a lot of them that man is uh a health care worker he's out there taking care of us right now. That's good. He's a loose soul. Oh, man.

He's going to give us surgery someday. But also, think about this. What if there was a... He puts 50 grand down to win 350. But it's a streaker. but it says streaker, and obviously streaker is usually like you're naked. He never got his clothes completely off. What if they're like caveat,

like, hey man, wasn't naked, only saw one ass cheek, doesn't count. Now you're just ultimately fucked. You're screwed. Oh, that costs you 51,000. That's a $51,000 joke. Yeah. And I love the comments by the Buccaneers where I was like,

hey, man, at least he got into the end zone. The Chiefs didn't. That was. There was some chick, really good-looking girl, who ran on the field in a soccer game in Europe. I think it was. I know what you're talking about. It was that giant, like the what you're talking about. Giant,

like the, the champions league. It was the champions league final. It's, it's like all the clubs from all the countries to top clubs. She streaked on field. Didn't wait. I think she did strip,

but didn't she just instantly became like that? Yeah, she took, I think she took everything off or only had a thought. I don don't know she wasn't wearing much if she was wearing anything but streaked on the field no one really knows who this chick is before that she's like famous now she has like five million instagram followers just as a promoter like yeah i streaked during this giant soccer match and now i got everything amazing. You're taking your clothes off on social media at all. I mean, she just expedited the process.

That's what her name is, Kinsey. Kinsey? Kinsey. I'd look her up, but I really don't want viruses on my fucking computer right now in the middle of a... Viruses? I don't know. It's basically porn. Oh, no, no, no.

I mean, I'm just... I don't think that's what her Instagram looks like. Do Macs get viruses? I think they're better at not getting them. And how does my phone not have one? How do you not get a virus on your phone? True. I mean, the amount of porn that is watched on each man's phone is ridiculous.

This is true. That you don't have. And everyone's like, you watch porn, you're going to get viruses. Either Pornhub's great at fending off the viruses no i'm pretty sure it's apple yeah yeah yet my computer i mean i have norton i think the only reason only time i ever get i put norton on there when i first got this and every day since like you're at risk you're at risk you're at risk i'm pretty sure norton you're at risk. I'm like, I'm pretty sure Norton, your scanner thing.

Yeah. Like antivirus software. Like I'm pretty sure Norton is the virus. I'm like, man, you're so many pop-ups that you're just like, you're at risk. I'm like,

no, I think Mac is pretty remind me later. Yeah. Yeah. I think they have to be good. Cause I remember having a PC and that thing. True. But like,

and I would never, but I would never even watch. I think they have to be good because I remember having a PC and that thing. True. But like older ones. But I would never even watch. I never watched porn on a laptop or anything. Wow. But my PC still has, I mean, it was littered just like with pop-up. It was the worst thing in the fucking world. Might be because I tried to download Pokemon on it from some random website. Oh, remember what used to screw those computers up?

If you'd use YouTube Downloader to get your songs instead of paying $1.29 on iTunes. Thank you, Spotify, for being a thing. Spotify and Apple Music. Huge. You can take one or the other. They're amazing. They're amazing.

We'd be paying $1.29 for a freaking song. That's unbelievable. It was. You used to get iTunes gift cards for your birthday. For birthday or Christmas. You're pumped up. Like, oh my God, I can buy half an album. You know who the only person I'd pay $1.29 for their song is?

Who? Brian Goyette. Brian, oh. He's going to be. Everybody, six days from now, our friend Brian Goyette. Well, by the time this is released, not six days, but this will be out Wednesday. The video. In two days.

The audio will be Monday. So whenever you're listening to this. In Wisconsin. Next Friday. Thursday, 11 p.m. Thursday. Central time. Oh, okay.

Well, I mean, everything always comes out at midnight Eastern time on Friday. This is my Nashville boys week. I have both of you on this week. We're making a little promo for his stuff on Monday. Oh, I was just trying to run a promo for him. So I guess I'll let him do that. Go for it. Give a promo for the promo.

Yeah. Well, be friends with Brian before he's famous so you can say he's friends with him before he's famous. That's all I got. It's going to be great. It's going to be great. It's going to be huge. Yeah, I'm pretty sure we're going to basically talk about the meaning behind some of his songs, how he wrote them, all that stuff.

It's going to be fun. It's going to be interesting just to see another person. Probably has moved to Nashville. Yeah, he's moving on Saturday. Moving on Saturday. You're moving down a few months afterwards, and you're going to live with him, which is dangerous. It's so dumb. It is dangerous. It's so dumb.

It's smart. It's ridiculous. I think I go so crazy in that city every time I'm there. Well, all of us, because we only have two or three days. Yeah. If you live there, the rationale is you'll have to be better behaved. That's not the rationale. I mean, yeah yeah it is but

god damn you going down there is it's ridiculous i forgot how i put it and i'll never get it right again but i mean if you i mean if you gave a heroin addict the keys to cvs or walgreens that's basically what it is like here's all the drugs in the fucking world that you could ever want. At least that country. You're just hoping they kind of, yeah, you're just like, I'm sick of it.

It is. And so is alcohol. Yeah, a little bit. I think, oh dude, you're going to die. The first month, I think we're all going to be on watch. So is Diane Gain, my mother.

Oh, your mom is going to have an absolute heart attack the day she drops you off down there. She's going to be checking in every hour. You home? What are you doing? You home? I live here, yes. So probably have to get a little tracker on my phone that updates more than just the find my iPhone thing. Yeah, but let's be honest with you.

How useful is a find my phone thing when you end up handing it to homeless people every time you're down there because right now your phone what was it two months ago was in gary indiana who knows where it is now october who knows where it's now police possession police possession yeah you might be in police possession when you move down there they're helping me they're helping you still yeah still waiting to hear back they said it would take a little bit into 2021 so we don't have to get into that story let's just not dude that's brutal i i'm still i'm actually excited for when i because the detective like helping on my case awesome guy i was like now we're talking about the story but go for it should we should

i prosecute like go after these guys and he's like hell yeah we don't need people like that in our city i was like all right let's do it you mean the homeless well i mean people jumping people yeah i mean if you do that you probably save it from happening to other people i mean those people knew what they were to be honest there's a good chance them jumping you is kind of you stumbling over and falling out of your pocket lots of people are doing that in nashville i'm sure there's a reason they picked me out right but uh um i was also like yeah i'm thinking about trying to move down soon like when i was originally talking to him he's like oh you definitely should like this place is awesome

i'm like i know so i'm kind of excited for when I get to talk to him again. I'm like, hey, I'm actually coming down in a couple months now. The man gets all hyped up. He goes, oh, you can prosecute. Let's get her done. He was a good old boy for sure. Yeah, it's a different breed. I mean, it's not south enough where you're going to feel out of place, obviously.

I mean, we've been down there enough. And I feel like Nashville is an overarching theme of this fucking show. Between that one, between this one, and attending a list. Like, it's been brought up a million times. And it's only going to keep growing now that two of us are going to be living down there. Yeah. Making music and who knows what you're going to do. I mean, we know what you're doing for work.'re doing we'll become the next Kenny Chesney man

you? you just going to start singing? yeah no can't can't fake that no that's kind of hard to fake I mean we can do some serious editing then I'm going to sound like T-Pain on autotune I think I might be able to beat that one yeah let's not start going back and forth speaking of chesney though you could write songs

i already have i got three done four in the works that are close to done just need a little four more in the works or number four or more in the works okay speaking of who who what where what were you saying speaking of chesney chesney okay he's supposed to play at american family field formerly i mean miller park yes thank you on may 8th i think it is he's supposed to summer fest is also supposed to be in september but we both know that's not going to fucking happen. The fact that they haven't canceled this Chesney show yet, though, means that they're talking about it. How can we make this work, right?

It's just, I get from an artist's point of view, I get from both people's point of view, like, oh, I just want to go to a concert, and the artist's like, I just want to perform. But it's so not going to be the same. Things aren't going to be the same for a long time. But imagine going to a Chesney concert in Miller Park, which we both have. I would cry.

We both have. I've never seen the guy. Really? Oh, yeah, you're missing out. He's a lot of fun. I've heard. Great concert. But, like, it's missing out. He's a lot of fun. I've heard, I've heard. Great concert.

But, like, it's in the pit, people everywhere. And concerts and venues like that, I love crowds. Like, mass amount of people. There's nothing better. So, knowing that, hey, I would eventually say 99.99% of the people in this stadium are having the time of their fucking life. Yeah, country people are the best. And then just, like, cutting that in half, it's like, oh, this is kind of depressing. Like, seeing space is like—

I mean, still, though, like, when we went to that one socially distanced concert in Georgia, it was the best thing ever. Like, I could not have been happier. Oh, I bet. And that's what I think most people are going to feel like because they haven't been to these things in so long. Like, oh, I just want something. It's going to be different. Like, part of me, of me like if i did it and i would still do it

would be like it's just not the same yeah i i'd love to see something where they're like if you want to risk it you can come everybody's got to wear a mask but then i think the issue there is and where i'm probably just selfish and even saying that is like the secondhand person who gets sick from that yeah is where the issue lies which yeah sucks but it's just the reality of the situation yeah it's who knows and I mean for a while a lot of people who might be it's gonna know what's gonna turn into it's gonna be like just vaccinated people they're gonna be allowed to go to these things what about now that the at-risk population is getting vaccinated after they feel like the at-risk population is covered so it's only people that feel like i mean yeah like people

who are healthy are gonna fight it off then you can just kind of be like at your own risk i don't know great theory and in words but probably a lot more caveats to that. Here's the thing. I think this is, yeah, I mean, that's all well and good. The problem is the woke population, the virtual signalers of our world, the white women in their 20s, it's just going to be a fucking hellstorm on twitter and social media um i hate social media to be honest what i think is gonna turn the vaccination card

i'm calling it right now it's going to be the new fake id if you think it's gonna be a thing oh my if it will be a thing if you have a stamp on your forehead if you have to start showing vaccination cards to get into bars in some places or whatever i without a doubt promise you people are going to be mass producing these fake vaccination cards do you think i mean bars are already a thing here here but not all places because if this is a piece of paper note card it's a note card just a larger note card right you just gotta figure out the dimensions we all know someone who's been vaccinated like hey can i see this real quick oh i've seen a lot of people if people are making fake ids laminated scan like not laminated like people are faking the wisconsin

ones that have holograms on you don't think someone in their mom's basement can take a note card and basically have a vaccination thing printed and just do a random doctor's signature like i've been vaccinated twice you're right are you kidding me i'm just more i totally agree if that's a thing where you need to show that card to get somewhere 100 people are people are fake it is going it's the new fake id and i promise you the people are gonna hate hate that idea like they'll never do that are the people are the same and i hate to keep bashing on the uh mid-20s white women in the healthcare industry but like if you don't want to happen listen we don't care that you've been vaccinated good for you i don't need to see it on your social media profile if you don't want

them to be faked and copied don't show it to us wow he really stared right in the lens for that one but but it's so true i don't know if i agree with that i think the main reason that health care workers post that stuff i get the reason like oh like, oh, we're doing it, it's safe. They want other people to do it. Yes. They want other people to do it. There are a lot of people that are doing it but can't. So it's useless.

Right. I mean, one time. They're going to do it when the time comes to them, yeah. I get, like, the reasoning behind it. It is seeing it 800 times, like, okay, I get it. And I get it. There's a medium. Don't get me wrong.

There's two sides to everything and i understand both god michael you're such an asshole but but the people who are getting it now who are trying to convince like people our age or some people a little older than us that are either anti-vax by no means am i an anti-vaxxer but the people who are like they're trying to convince them like oh you should get it too it's safe listen you got it you've taken one unless you're posting it every day you got this eight months ago do you think i'm gonna remember that you got like when i'm finally allowed to get it that's fair also anti-vaxxers just need to get their brains checked in general we're not getting into any of that but you know that just kind of is

that kind of political yeah we won't do any no politics was that jordan speed just hit a dart who knows is that a dart he's in the rough true um but yeah no i i promise you if it comes to a time that you need a vaccination card to go to large events. Oh, it's getting fake. Dude, they're going to be handing out vaccination cards. You can go to Lollapalooza if you have a vax card. Half of those would be fake. Dude, there will be a guy outside of the gates, like, vaccination cards, two for 20. I'll sign it for you here.

In front of the people. The people at the box office would be like i can't whatever same dude is selling molly out of his life yeah like oh yeah do you want molly too for the concert i made it myself um it's jordan but let's gen it's it's gonna happen and i actually i don't look forward to it but i can't wait to see the first couple copies. I mean, it's going to be the quick, like the guy that's selling the t-shirts that say Green Bay fucking Packers outside Lambeau. It's going to be like, hey, get your COVID card next. Yeah. Like, oh, good Lord.

You haven't had it, have you? No. Gotcha. I've been around people that have had it. Yeah, that's unlucky. My dad had it. I mean, I think it's a little, I don't know. Yeah, that's unlucky. My dad had it. I mean, I think it's a little... I don't know.

Either I'm immune because I'm fucking Superman. No, I think I'm just lucky that I haven't gotten it. This fucking guy. My body's just super human. You're so cut. You're like the rock. The rock. The second coming.

I'm like the pebblebble i'm not the fucking rock well played dear lord if i if i sat next to the rock it would i would look like one of his cheat meals he posts on instagram that's just the man but he yeah i can he's one of those people that celebrities just can't dislike people like that. They're just... He is... There are... Let's do this. What celebrities in real life do you think are actually cool?

And ones you think might need to... You know what the issue is in my brain? When I hear celebrity, I don't think like LA. I just start thinking of country singers, and I think most of those guys are probably cool. Okay, let's not do country singers then. Okay. Then I got to learn more of these. I'll start giving you some.

So, like, I think we're both on the same page with The Rock. I think Justin Timberlake would be a cool guy. I've just always thought he's cool. I think he'd be cool, but I think he's cool when you have a relationship with him like Jimmy Fallon does. You're in a circle. Great. Outside of your circle, I think he'll always be nice to you. I like Jimmy Fallon does. You're in a circle. Great. Outside of your circle, I think he'll always be nice to you. You're like Fallon would be cool too.

But kind of doesn't give you the time of day. I think they're kind of the same people like that. Okay. Or you have to just kind of be entertaining. Like if you basically need an elevator pitch for him. Sure. And then buy in. Because they meet so many people that.

True. It's like you got 30 seconds to like. Like I bet there are some there's probably levels of it that just there's gives you the time of day is probably in the middle like you say hi they say hi back how are you appreciate you blah blah then there's the fuck off i got other things to do that's that's below and then there's thank you so much can i help you out with anything but like the there's the keanu reeves i want to say rocks probably in the middle and then

i don't i couldn't even think of someone that's like real low that's recently just been like fuck off true i'm sure they're out there though especially if you like lived in LA in a bougier side of, I don't even know, Beverly Hills, right? Malibu, yeah. Something like that. Any of those? And you saw people? Well, you're probably one of those people at that point. But I don't know.

Me? Not you. Oh, I'll say that. Well, hopefully someday. I'm saying if you're living there, around there you're probably doing okay oh yeah you're doing okay well yeah there's so many people that are trying to i'm just trying to think of who would actually be a dick yeah and i almost you just you also if you hear a story like that where someone's like i met blah blah blah and they were absolutely not a nice person but in your brain

you're like i love that person you just don't want to believe it which is so dumb it's like i'm never gonna meet that person i'm never gonna probably hang out with that person so who the fuck cares right if they're a dick or not someone told me once that uh carrie underwood was just stuck up ish and i met her and she was very nice so they were wrong that's good good. Again, it also... You have to take people's thing with a grain of salt, too. It's like, hey, how were you towards them? Were you hounding them for the last two miles? Were you screaming from the second row of her concert,

and she didn't give you a high five? I'm like, she's a fucking bitch. She didn't say hi to me. There's 90,000 people there. She's singing for you. How about that? I'm sorry she didn't say hi to you. But who do you think?

Okay, we'll go back to, because I think it would be too tough to just start naming us that we think are assholes or not. Who do you think you'd be friends with? We'll let you do country music. Who do you think would like you the most? Like, just you genuinely. You met him at a bar. You're not hammered. You're not, like,'re not like gain gain right now you're just gain michael hardy that is that being hardy that being hard yeah he seems like the man i can see that guy i don't think when i think of the bigger

names that's when i start to think like they're in the middle. Like, hi, how's it going? Yeah, get the fuck out of here. Yeah, okay, so we'll do tiers of it. I'd say Hardy's middle for sure. We'll just do middle and no one knows anyone lower. Sorry, I didn't mean like how popular they were, but more like middle.

Like the very popular ones would be in the middle where they're like, I'll say hi to you, but I'm not going to hang out with you. But let's do the tiers because Hardy, he's not the Chesney's of the world. Sure. But he's written a lot because Hardy, he's not the Chesney's of the world. Sure. But he's written a lot of music and he sings now too. So he's in the middle.

Right. Yeah, I'd agree with that. Still up and coming. I'd agree with that. Popular. The one who's like very popular who I think I'd actually vibe with is Dierks. Yeah, I knew that was your answer. My cousin has met him too. Is that also the person you'd want to vibe with is dirks yeah i knew that was your answer my like my cousin has met him

too is that also the person you'd want to vibe with the most because those are two different things people you'd want to get along with the most and who do you think you'd actually probably get along with the most i think i'd really enjoy getting along with dirks yeah yeah um do you think he would enjoy getting along with you jake owens, another one I think would be a good one. See, Jake Owens is probably more my answer for. Yeah. Just after watching what I was talking about, that golf thing with him, just seeing him being normal, he's freaking hilarious.

Jake Owens would be cool. He got absolutely hammered on transfusions. I bet. I bet. See, I agree with you. I bet a lot of those country music guys are actually a lot of fun. Do you have any in mind who you don't think? Well, I don't.

Who I don't think I get along with? Yeah. There's a lot of people I don't get along with. I don't know. I would. I think the thing is, like, if I met him now, I would try and be, like, a chameleon and kind of, like, cater to what I think they like. Yeah. And then kind of become more of, like, oh, this is more me.

I'm going to start ripping on you more because you sound like a jackass. So I think it's kind of tough. Like, I think I would get along with a lot of people, which is kind of, I guess, cocky to say. I mean, that just means you can be social and vibe with different types of people and it just like hit me again it hit me again that my feet aren't on the fucking floor and just like i need it all right whatever so the person i don't think i get along with right now it's hard to be honest i don't really have anybody to be honest would probably be morgan. He's just freaking crazy. I think it's just like, yeah, he's too much right now. I've also heard some stories about him in Nashville

that he'll just hook up with a random girl any night, wake up in his own puke, and just go freaking keep the bender moving. his own puke and just go freaking keep the bender moving like in his uh in his apology when he said he was on bender hour 72 out of 72 of a bender i believe it it could have been 96 out of 96 like from the stuff i've heard sounds about right for we've had benders like the actions oh i know but that's that's kind. Yeah, that's college. That dude's 27. Not in the limelight, 27. Yeah.

Yeah, when you're in the... I think, yeah, I think the only reason I say them is just because of circumstances and not, like, just the most recent one, but just the life's... I mean, don't get me wrong. I like to party. I don't want to be old. I like acting. I mean, I am young, but that i've said it a million times

but there comes to a point i'm like hey man dial it back a fucking bit if you're acting like it's spring break every weekend we're acting in title is where i start to lose it it's like that's why i'm down to have fun and if things come to us during a night awesome but if you're we're starting to walk around like we're the big swing dicks and like oh so at the w that's a different thing we own that place yeah we were the big swing yeah wall would be mine right now person i'd want to get along with the most i think uh for me oh wait I have another answer after you go I don't know who I'd want to go along with the most like again I think the Jake Owens

of the world seem popular enough and just fun like we could do golf go on a boat I would go down to the honky tonk we could yeah thank you.

Yeah, don't get me wrong. It'd be cool if I was like bros with Chesney and I just chilled on a beach and sipped rum all day. Because part of me right now wants to do this entertainment shit the rest of my life. But part of me is like I could just I could bartend at a tiki bar on a coast somewhere for the rest of my life live in the shack that's above the bar it's just my bar my house is the bar i just walk downstairs pour people drinks it's on the beach and just that's it all day every day i'd be great i'd be so content with that that's funny the other kind of middle ground one that i thought would just you could actually vibe with and he would be like your your friend not just being nice kip moore that dude is the man

yeah we uh i've you know the story with grant right sophomore year vaguely your year didn't you guys got you got onto his bus or whatever not onto it but right outside of it almost almost no uh it was like you're almost that kind of fans are like hey man fuck off yeah no kit moore and john party were playing freak fest in madison so we went to that got all frickered up. Then we're drunk back at SIGGAP after. We're on the balcony. Did you say frickered up? You fucking 12.

That's a Jack Ringo shout out right there. We're out on the balcony at SIGGAP at like 2 in the morning. Grant's right next to me. And you can see out over on the State Street, you can see the tour buses. Yeah. We're all messed up. I think I had one of those giant bottles of Jack that we were just pulling from your room. Of course, every time.

And Grant's like, dude, we got to go try to meet them. Well, I mean, their buses backstage was literally behind our house. You just had to cut through Samba. Yeah, and I was like, oh, let's do it. So we get down there. There's gates around the whole thing. You have to stand up to see over them. Grant is hammered, maybe more than me, believe it or not,

and he just pulls the gate apart. And we walk through. And it's 2 in the morning, so they're not out there anymore. Kind of cold because Freak Fest. Dude walks right up to the tour bus door. Just whack, whack, whack, whack, whack, whack. And I'm kind of lurking back like, oh my god, are we going to get arrested? What's going to happen? And a security guard comes around the corner.

He's like, what the fuck are you guys doing? Like, you got to get out of here. God damn it. Like, we tried. Start walking away. He's like kind of shooing us. And then we get about to where the gate was. We hear, hey, boys.

Where the Hulk just. Yeah. We hear behind us hear, hey boys. Where the Hulk just. Yeah. We hear behind us, hey boys. We turn around and Kip Moore is just walking towards us in a t-shirt and shorts. And I'm like, this guy. That's ballsy in Wisconsin. This guy.

Yeah. And he shot shit with us for like five minutes. How was the show? What have you guys been up to? Do you actually remember it with how hammered you were? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. No, it was was great we got pictures with them super nice guy sure he would have signed stuff if we asked him to yeah nice guy probably caught him on a good day probably a good show no but i've heard other stories about him that he's just a a good dude that's good no that's good

that's a good so then i saw him the next or two years later at the sylvie and after that show me and my buddy mac we uh i was just like if we go outside his tour bus he might come out like let's just go give it a whirl less hammered this time um sure enough came out again another picture with did you shot show with them again did not smack the tour bus door that time this one did he remember you 11 p.m no this was how many years after like two years you said he didn't remember me i mean we talked to him for like five minutes the first time i wonder how many people are like diehard ones like you are a diehard fan but there is are you talking to kip specifically i'm not

kip specifically but any artist like there's there's certain people like they don't like country music they just love kip moore oh true so they've been to i mean you've seen you've seen yeah groupies so you've seen kip moore probably what two five times something like that i don't pull up this stupid list on your phone well you you open that can of worms um but then there's people who like that that's embarrassing to them like you've only seen them five times you're like i saw him five times this year sure but they follow them on the same tour they know what song is but they meet him so many times that kip's like what's up joanne how are you d Dave? Yeah.

How are the kids? I feel like there's people like that with Chase Rice. Kip Moore, seven times. I've seen him seven times. Seven times, Jesus. Seven more coming up. Some people haven't been to seven concerts in their life. Yeah, well, they need to. How many are on that list?

How many concerts? Yeah. I guess. And this is a good day to bring that up because one year ago was the last non-distance concert i like that you remember that i couldn't even tell you what my last non-distance concert was snap memories i will never get those i don't think i've ever taken a video at a concert i know you don't you always yell at me yeah i fucking hate it's like hey live this like hey through your okay live it through your eyes

and your ears i videotape like two songs for 10 seconds each some motherfuckers videotape yeah the whole concert i hate that buddy come on figure it out if i do that i'm really hammered i've sure i've always been it's it's weird that i used to be like this big african like i don't like pictures i don't um let's take a picture. Michael runs to the bathroom. I would just run away. I'm like, no, because it's not a picture. It's a million pictures. And now I'm the guy with the cameras recording shit.

And I bring my camera to parties and stuff like that. But I also, the way I justify it is like, I just put the camera on the table. I'm like, hey, don't break it, but take any picture you want, whatever. And then at the end of the night, it's like, oh, we have all these random pictures. I don't know half but take any picture you want whatever yeah and then at the end of the night it's like oh we have all these random pictures i don't know half of them i just send them out in the morning but i hate it's the idea of like i love pictures i hate photo shoots when they're obviously everyone likes the candidates but like the fake candidates are even worse yeah i need to get a picture at it yeah

make sure everybody knows everyone knows i'm there i'm like if it comes like i'm all four at the end of the night like you and your friends go and like oh it's just you got a quick picture whatever ones you don't even fucking remember exactly you don't remember taking or just like it's real quick like those are definitely the best ones whereas like don't get me wrong like i've been a part of the group pictures and several with you or we just we get in the a line it's the stereotypical guys in a line like this i'm always in the middle or the front because i'm the fucking shortest or i'm never in like the side i I'm either end, middle, or front. Like it's like U.S. Cellular raising the bars or fucking Grand Canyon. U.S. Cellular raising the bars. That was funny.

But like you take those pictures, one or two, and we're done, which is nice. It's not a million of them. But then the next day, I'll look at it once. I'm like, whatever. Like there are very few pictures of those that I actually like this picture. Because half is just like you're in a dark room. I always get fired up when I see a cusky Instagram post. Those are few and far between.

Fat chance, buddy. Fat chance, buddy. I should probably post that to the actual page. You should make that the a cover art of nice podcast i don't even look like me in that picture anymore didn't someone else post that for you too no i posted that stuff i got you were cocky that day yeah yeah i got it was just something him like i gotta post this and i just i ever it's like it was hashtag i don't use the fact that we're still talking about it means it was a good one.

It was just, it was weird. Yeah, it's just a, I think I have, how many posts do you think you have on Instagram? I am trying to like, my other account now for this, like I'll post more on and I'm getting better at it. My personal one, nothing. I'll tell you what you have. I'm going to guess I'm at 120. That's rough i've been going since like middle of high school probably what's your guess 120 you have 219 god i'm an insta salute insta salute wow okay 19 i might have to go shave my non-liked posts. Guess what I have?

19. 30. You're an Insta-slew, too. Insta-slew. My last picture was September 25th, 2020. Was that the one after party? No, that was attending a lisp. That was when I promoted the first podcast.

Of course. The one before that. So that was when i promoted the first podcast of course not the one before that so that was the end of 2020 the one before that october 6 2019 i was going after the job i was at your party yeah the one before that march 10th 20 these are months if not years apart yeah like the the quickest one i had was like March or February to March. And then my top, let's see. In my top five pictures, there are pictures from 2018 to 2020. As you're reading.

As I'm, but yeah, no. Yeah, thank you. It's just, it's not something I do. I also have this. Yeah, we're doing well. I'm we're not gonna do we're not gonna do this a lot because now that I have to Do this with cameras if I do anything over? Two hours, I'm gonna fucking cry We were hammered thank you sir, but No, it's just I don't i don't know why i have this thing in my head like

no one fucking cares and that's because when people post pictures i don't care like i don't like anyone's pictures hardly ever if like friends are doing creative things i'll do that i'll even i'll save them sometimes and just so it's better for i guess the someone posted something like it a like is good a share is great to save is phenomenal or something like that for their algorithm or whatever and how it gets promoted so you're talking for your like podcast podcast or like when brian does his music yeah no. Like our creative friends. Like if Dauda is doing something, like no matter what it is, it's like. And I'll go and I'll like it on both my accounts.

Or Brian's will do the same thing. But people's random pictures that, I don't know, they're hugging each other on the beach or they're at brunch with their girlfriends. Did you put margarita mix in this? No, sweet and sour. That was sweet and sour? Yeah. What's –

I hope. I swear to God you just put margarita mix in this. It looks like it. It's sweet and sour. I can't confirm. Oh, okay. I was like, what the fuck are you making me? It looks like it.

219 posts. I don't think I'll ever get to that. I think Instagram will die before I get to 219 posts. I think Twitter will die before Instagram. I hate Twitter. Those things aren't going anywhere. Those things are not going anywhere. Twitter is... There's someone, I think it was like, I saw... I hate Twitter. Those things aren't going anywhere. Those things are not going anywhere. Twitter sucks.

There's someone. I think I saw. I have a Twitter. Yeah, I have one. I deleted the app. So I got one in high school, and I never used it. I think I tweeted like eight times. When you got emotional?

Sure. And then I deleted it in college and i downloaded again because i was gonna make like one for tending a lisp and for this and i just and like my personal account like i gotta start putting my name out there more and i never use it but there was a joke i saw like instagram was like re-screen-showered. Mark Norman's like, Twitter is just celebrities making you feel bad. That's it about the way you're living your life. A little bit.

And people getting political, which is dumb. It just doesn't sound fun. Everyone's so negative on it. That's what I hate. I'm also more of a visual person, so I like the Instagram. It's just videos and pictures. I like Instagram way better. What's your favorite category?

Do you ever click on categories on your Explore thing? I do like Explore because it's all golf videos and country music. Yeah, so it's tailored to you. Yes. So mine right now is all football. Nice. Or golf. Big drink in high school.

Or food. football nice or big golf in high school or food my i love clicking on the food tab and just sitting there vegged out and just oh i should make that and then half the time like i do go make some of these things it's so nice like i love i got so obsessed watching people like get the perfect crust on a steak like i'm gonna go fucking try going to go fucking try it. That sounds good. What time is it? We got to figure out where we're eating. What are you in the mood for? Should we make steaks?

That sounds so good. Because I love cooking. I almost want to do it for us. Let's go get steaks. I don't want to drive right now. After this fucking cop incident you want a shot notice me bad as my this podcast my mom will watch this one and she'll go okay so you had a drink you drove the car and you were followed by a cop i'm like it was one drink i'm sorry i swerved a

little bit. Oh, you had one before this? No, no, no, no. Like I've had after and now she's like, you drove. I'm like, one isn't bad. You're right. I poured these a week too. It's just.

Yeah, hi mom. She said she loves when I do that. So I think I might do that. She'll just call this the hi mom podcast. Hi second mom. What a lovely lady. True. Wor true where's speed at oh he's dropped two now yeah he's plus one on the day so did you see that just lip out who is that that was junior prom everything but the hall yep that's a that was for a while this dude dude's pissed. I'd be pissed too.

Probably. I like the idea on... I've seen this on Instagram too. I think it was like Zyre Golf or something like that. Where they'll repost people's tweets and said, Every tournament should have a weekend golfer like us that plays along at the end of the group just for reference like just for reference just like because so many people are watching like i could make that fucking shot i couldn't believe you missed that putt we're like all right johnny

from southeast wisconsin is now on the 18th hole he's 45 45 over. He's wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. By the way, this is only day one. He is wearing jorts and a tuxedo t-shirt. He has 18 beers in his bag. And he's going through three stogies on the front nine. Dude, that would be the... Oh, Johnny didn't finish his first 18. He's passed out on the green side

bunker on 17 it's like fun watching pro-ams because oh yeah it's like the amateurs it makes more relatable but watching johnny from southeast wisconsin in a major would be the best that idea is fucking phenomenal just throw him in the back he gets two days and the worst if the best part is he should get paid if he beats anyone oh like even though the dead to last person a million that doesn't make the cut because they're plus three in two rounds they tore both if he ever yeah if he ever beats one person he he plays all four days he gets paid paid. He gets like 10 grand. Invite him to the Masters too. Yeah. But oh my God, just having one person like us that plays for reference just to shut some people. I'm like, yo, this is fucking hard.

That's a good idea. Did you think of that? No. Did not think of that. But I endorse the idea. Whoever thought of it. I'll retweet that too. Not that my endorsement means shit.

But oh my God, that'd be so fun i would be i would tune in so i mean i watched golf plenty but i would it's just nice to have on it's like baseball and you know damn well i mean the professional golfers would hate it because all the air time would be on johnny yeah true be like oh god johnny is now like two second clips of johnny stubbing his drive johnny fucking scalding one over the green oh he's uh six feet from the green oh and he's oh fucks want over the green into the water that'd be awesome welcome to pebble beach johnny johnny found a water for the fourth time in two holes. I can imagine. This is how I know. Imagine that.

Short par four. He gets up. One where your eyes get big. You want to try that. The eyes get big. He dries. Beautiful drive from Johnny. Just short of the green because he doesn't have all that power.

All that power like everyone does. He doesn't have the sim too. He's got 30 yards. Like 20 yards to the green. He goes, easy, easy 60-degree wedge. Just get it on the green. Two putt this. I par my first hole of the day.

Great. You know, announcers are hyping him up. Beautiful drive. Chunks the chip. Skulls one over. Has to get it out of the sand. He's like, hey, can I practice in the sand? Which is literally the

stereotypical first hole for any beautiful drive you're like oh i should have parred that but that fucking chunk oh my god it'd be beautiful because every person like that's me that's fucking you gotta like mic up johnny too because you get the classic like i absolutely ripped that drive but it wasn't straight but if it was straight oh my god dude that would end perfect it was just a little more right like no shit that pot would have been great if it went in the hole fucking donut we make fun of that but the amount that i say that shit on the course it's like so much like oh my god i got the draw i wanted but like it's in the woods like i just pulled, I just pulled it.

I just pulled it. It just drew too much. Hit it really hard. I just turned over. Like, dude, do you know what the fuck you're doing? No. Absolutely not. Oh, God.

This has been a golf fight. That's why it's so fun, though, because it's so, yeah. It's so frustrating. We turned on golf. Now we talked about it for half the time. I'm so fine with that. I'm so fine with it. Like, that putt right there.

That was horrendous. No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't. Like, I would have never guessed, like, that putt right there. That was horrendous. No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't. I would have never guessed that putt was going to come back. My shit would be... And they have to play on super fast greens. Oh, yeah. Super fast greens.

Just putting on concrete. It just goes wherever. Oh, good Lord. It almost starts speeding up as it gets to the hole. How many breakfast balls do you think that man gets if johnny plays one per hole one per hole dude he would still lose if they gave him like an 18 handicap yeah for sure well i guess depends how good oh that might be in the water that's in the water no i No, I think he's good. Oh, no. The last three seconds is just us going.

That's the Phil Mickelson hole. Yeah. Hey, man, I'm really killing the par fives today. No, and I bet there are some. When I say like weekender golfer, it has to be like us, where we can only golf for six months out of the year because there's not snow on the ground for those six months i don't know about you but i've been hitting vitans twice a week me and duncan have

been going a lot i haven't there's been a stupid amount of snow on the ground there's also nothing else to do so yeah whack some golf balls drink a few beers great tuesday why does this look like it's layered uh probably because i poured that i think all the booze that you didn't drink yet like that's that's not a mixture well i didn't mix it yours is wait is that just like oh wow i suck at this dude that's horrendous wow i'm a little concerned it actually like art. I think this is all the booze. Stir it up and look at the syrupy just nonsense that's in there. I think all that sweet and sour maybe went to the bottom.

I think you should have shook the sweet and sour up. These are headache drinks. Whiskey sour It's my go to Is that why my hangovers Are so bad Well the Like sugar alone

I'm just I'm gonna end it here With the drink Conversation But We do need to wrap this up Cause I'm getting Fucking hungry

Um But The When people are drinking They're like Why do I get such headaches I'm like well You had one meal

For breakfast Like when People day drink They're like God if I didn't have this headache my hangover wouldn't be bad i'm like well if you didn't just eat one pancake at bottomless mimosas and then every drink you had after that was just sugar you're gonna have a skull fuck of a headache remember uh the long islands at kk yeah i hated those both have so many calories in them and they're so sugary. Like hangover central. The caloric intake between

11pm and 2 o'clock in the morning when you're in college is ridiculous. It is ridiculous. You know what I miss about the start of those caloric intake? That was a very fitness word. Yeah, it is.

So I don't know what you're talking about. When you would start those weekends and you'd get done with class at like, me and Jack Ringo always got done at 1 on Thursdays, and we'd just slowly drink that rest of that Thursday, and it was just the calm before the storm. Oh, that was bad. It was those benders. The cherry on top, of little country night those are the see

the morgan wallenbenders that we'd go on but it was seems a little more acceptable in college but those 72 hour days and when you're not famous with a record-breaking album yeah two weeks before he but jesus we did the thursday thing too where you just go i'm so hungry but it would you you finish class thursday when you're older you don't have anything friday so then friday in college it was a fucking joke like there was a semester i had a class it was the only class was clap for credit and obviously you this, but you just show up there and you legit just... I actually never took it. I mean, you know what the class is,

but it's just other people performing and they ask you five questions at the end that they give you the answers to. Look at where this dude's ball is. Sorry. See, this is where I'd like to see Johnny. He is on the beach. This is where I'd like to see Johnny. Johnny just missed the water.

He thought it was a great drive. He's literally hitting a ball out of the pebbles on the beach. I think that's why it's called Pebble Beach. For people who are not watching the TV with us, because I don't know how to do that yet. Someday, Michael. He's on the beach and there's like, what, five feet of rocks just like ledge in front of him? Yeah. Like this is the kind of like these guys will get it up and over it johnny would scull this into the rocks

right into the ocean and it would skip like a fucking pebble yeah if you haven't picked it up yet we are watching on a tv up there a golf tournament at pebble beach this guy is literally hitting out of pebbles on the beach it's kind kind of awesome. You'd have to have not listened to any of this podcast. Johnny would rip this off that rock. Into the ocean. Yeah, that's what he said. Probably hit a whale. Or, oddly enough, hit a crack that comes right back and hits his caddy.

Who do you think? Do you think Johnny gets to pick his caddy? Oh. Johnny would pick his freaking drinking buddy from the Rossin Pub. Do they allow Johnny to drink? You have to. You have to. So many of us are like, I'm better.

I'm great two beers in. I'm good three to four. At five, I start to teeter a bit. By seven, I'm done. Also, do you make Johnny play the, oh my God. Johnny's playing the fucking tips. Johnny's playing the tips. Okay, that's exactly what I was going to say. And if Johnny doesn't make it past the front tees,

Johnny's pants are coming off. And he's shotgunning. Johnny's just crushing bush lights. It would make a mockery of the game if we went that far with it. But to have someone legit just play would be hysterical. What if they only did it, but had the waste management

open? That's what you should do when people are pumping each other. Johnny on 16? Johnny on 16. Holy shit. And now up to the tee box. Johnny whatever. Johnny's pumping up the crowd.

Johnny chunks it 30 yards. Johnny barely, by the way, gets the tee. Johnny's getting beer thrown crowd Johnny chunks it 30 yards Johnny barely by the way gets the tee Johnny's getting beer thrown on him at this point he's sitting there like reaching over to like put the ball on the tee and he's just like he almost falls over it is 16 so Johnny's Johnny's hammered shit can

he's done he's not gonna remember this hole or 17 or 18 obviously and oh god lord that would be phenomenal and you know he's like to remember this hole. Or 17 or 18, obviously. And, oh, good lord. That would be phenomenal. And you know he's like, let's go. And just right into the weeds. Or pulls it right into the stands.

Yeah, actually, he might kill somebody. They give Johnny a hot dog and a Gatorade at the turn. Great. Just duck hook right into the... Right into fucking grandma's face. Johnny's donezo by hot dog and a Gatorade at the turn. Just duck hook right in the fucking grandma's face. Johnny's done so by now.

I'm like, I just need a hot... After nine, they have an interview with him. Just like a halftime interview. I'm thinking the hot dog and Gatorade at the turn. Really going to turn things around. Really hoping to shoot only like four over par this one. I started off slow drinking. I'm only a little buzzed. I know the back usually goes better than the front.

I think if I open up my head with this doge, I think that'll loosen me up a bit, feel a little tight. I did work out right before this, so I'm a little – it hurts a bit to swing. Yeah, I did legs three days ago. I mean, it wasn't as bad as two days after. It's still like it kind of hurts to squat a bit. Like bending over to get that ball, oh, it's tough.

And then you feel it on the tee box. We're ending this ending this this is fucking we're talking about a fictional guy that's not golfing i mean the idea sounds so awesome it sounds so good and pga do it or for the next like charity one with a bunch of celebrities find johnny smith i'll be johnny i'll be johnny invite me out i will play against everyone else, and we'll put some respect on people's names who haven't been getting it lately. Think of, like, the drunkest you've ever been golfing. It's with you. It's with you.

Of course. All right, we're done with this. Thank you for doing this, buddy. Cheers. Let's go get some food. Let's do it.