Fat Chance Podcast - Ep.51 - Cody Heck

Episode Date: March 10, 2022

Cody is a Milwaukee based comedian who hosts a monthly show at Puddlers Hall in Bay View, WI as well as a monthly roast battle.  All Socials: @heck_cody

I want to do it in the kitchen too, but I also think about like doing like a weird like comical like comedian cooking show, which I think would be so entertaining. Are we on? Yeah. Oh, okay. Sorry. I kind of just started. It feels natural.

Yeah. But I think an actual cooking show, I've always, I love cooking, so I think, and the kitchen's perfect for it. The island's big enough and there's enough space where I can put all the cameras there. Yeah. No, that'd be dope. But I think it'd be fun. We did one with the lighting there.

So we tried doing with my roommate on Wednesday. We filmed one that went out this week. Tried doing it with the backs of the kitchen. But because the lights are behind us, your face is just like blacked out and you can't see anyone. So we had to do. I like i kind of like the bar stool yeah like look i don't feel i'm like i'm freaking like hunched over like a fat sack of shit well but it's better than those bar stools are uncomfortable as hell they're like

temporary i got those when i was in college because i built a pallet bar with my roommate super cool and we brought it to our like the balcony on our apartment because we had this giant i mean the balcony was the size of this living room it felt like and um they sat in the rain and they're just uncomfortable but i didn't uh when i was doing this in the garage at my mom's that's what we sat on and your ass hurt after an hour you're like fuck this you thought you like you think you're slouched now yeah i mean you're like oh yeah trying to stay up straight you're like this right i'm just like i'm gonna the whole hour i'm just gonna be overthinking my posture oh yeah no posture is the name of the game it is it is i mean i my one of my favorite things to do to like just grown men that i see like

walking like that like just be like hey stand up Like, that's how you get into fights. It seems mean, but no, dude, nobody with that bad of posture wants to fight. They're also probably not going to be a good fighter. You just do exactly. You do one movement.

I'm pretty sure I can beat the shit out of anybody in the world with that bad of posture. And they're just hunchbacks. Yeah. What was it? So you don't have pride in yourself. No, I think my posture is worse when i'm in the car like that's because you get to like a weird comfortable seat you're like i'm kind of i

lean just a little bit to the right and then if you're driving long enough all of a sudden i feel like my lower back hurts and my ass cheeks get like numb i'm like that can't be right do you sit on a wallet no i don't oh because that that i used to do that and that dude my wallet do you have a thick wallet i got a ridge wallet do you like it fuck yeah okay because i'm thinking but i want to get a new i want like basically a money clip kind of thing yeah um so this one it has a lifetime warranty i haven't had to replace yet the money i had the money clip i loved it but it did break off okay but it has a warranty so yeah i'm just hard on stuff my so my biggest so i've had the same wallet since i was in eighth grade like that's like a huge like flex for me is like i can hold on to my i lose everything inside of it but the

wallet itself i've had since eighth grade and it's like that thick um but the reason i kind of like is i can feel it in my pocket so i know i didn't lose it i feel like i would lose that yeah i mean i'm pretty bad with losing stuff but i mean i'm i love it i'm fine with that i almost left my airpods at the high note last night oh dude i would have been so pissed i'm pretty sure i had the puddler show and i'm pretty sure this is like my like fourth show in a row where i left all of my shit. My backpack, my clipboard, my notebooks. All of it is just so bad. My worst is a debit card.

Once I pay for something and then they like leave it in that clip where they have the receipt. I'll just sign it and then I just push it back. And I never grab my card. And I'm like, fuck me. I mean, I lost one at, I wouldn't say lost it because I know where they are. I just don it back and I never grab my card and I'm like fuck me yeah I mean I lost one at not I wouldn't say lost because I know where they are I just don't go get them one's at Brevin oh still I got yeah every time you lose when you just get another one yeah well because it's like must be nice being that fucking rich dude fucking cars on cards if only it costs money to get a new

debit card. But, yeah, no, it's just, like, now I got to wait. Like, thankfully, I have, like, a credit card as well. But they – What was it? Yeah, no, that's how, like, the – I can't get it to work as a joke. But how I got that – the new job as a manager and – Training? Personal trainer, which I shouldn't.

It's literally because i left my debit card and ordered a new one at bremen wait wait how is that so because i lost it i ordered a new one and because the old one was canceled and that was attached to um my gym membership so yeah they're like i walked in like here's my new information they're like, I walked in like, here's my new information. And they're like, Hey, do you want to manage and train at this gym? I was like, otherwise I would have never gone in and been like, Hey, and talk to the owner. Yeah. It worked out though. Yeah. Right. Are you like, what did you do before that? Video stuff. It's nothing fun. Um, but like now my goal is to take all of avery's clients oh yeah no i think he's gonna beat your fucking ass he would kick my ass he does like jujitsu training and shit for people

i texted him i was like hey um what's a good like price point to charge people for um training and he goes oh i'd only charge you 30 dollars i go no no i'm training people now he goes oh shit really don't worry i'm not gonna take anyone but like i have no clue what i'm fucking doing yeah no clue whatsoever you worried about the dog uh i was just she just went in the other room she's fine she can go hang out in my room it doesn't matter um i mean i yeah if i get up to pee or get a beer, I'll just close that door. Then she'll just. Oh, she can hang out.

She can lay on the bed. It doesn't matter. Okay. Yeah. I'm not bothered by it. She's very tame. Like, very tame. Yeah. I mean, if you have any, like, fucking used condoms or something in there, she might fucking

eat them or something. I don't. It's only been a week. She loves jizz is what I'm trying to say. Are you serious? Yeah. Well, it been a week. She loves jizz is what I'm trying to say. Are you serious? Yeah. Well, it's a she. I guess he's might like it too.

I don't know. Yeah. I mean, not that I feed it to her. I do everything in my power to keep her from developing a taste for jizz. How often do you have used condoms like that? Okay. This story is kind of nasty but um i was with the girl and i didn't use a condom and is it okay to be this gross yeah okay and i just fucking

in her this was a couple years ago but um uh like and i my dog she would always like be like creepily watching the room so i would lock her out we were done i opened the door the girl ran to the bathroom but was like dripping semen yeah it was like she she left like a hansel a hansel and gretel type uh breadcrumb trail of jizz to the bathroom that my dog just followed and found like it was so disgusting that's it's like oh treats so i'm not i'm not just like letting her eat it all yeah it's just like i mean it's easy cleanup you don't gotta do anything that is true girl asked for a towel like don't worry i have a dog he's like debbie come do your thing

oh god yeah i don't use towels we're real green i mean and that way i don't have to go uh down on him as long because you just fucking open up yeah you ready come here you ready for the encore yeah this one's got a strong tongue oh yeah my tongue my dog sucks. It's all girth. No, no, no agility Is that my dentist always tells me I have a very powerful tongue. Yeah It's I was like when I heard them like that's a weird thing to tell someone but like apparently when I would get And I would notice it my tongue Naturally just fights the dentist so like she'll be cleaning in there and like I

She's trying to push it back and i'm noticing like it's not going back yeah because it fights it naturally like i'm not doing this on purpose because you have a very strong tongue yeah i'm gonna lead with that next time baby i got a strong tongue that should be in your tinder bio um a doctor said it you don't need to say it was a dentist i have been prescribed a strong time um so you asked like before are there any questions i don't have questions but i thought of one in the shower and i don't know why what's the first thing you clean when you get into the shower because like i feel like i have the i do the exact same routine and i don't know why i noticed it and i was like well i wonder what other people do i go pits balls asshole hair i do my asshole first i don't know why i think it's always just feels the

grossest i don't know if i don't wipe well enough what do you do you use like a loofah or something uh no i think that'd be great i hate loofahs okay because that would be gross if you used the loofah and then on your asshole and then your face. I'm more of like body wash hands. I just kind of like just let the water and all that go down there first. I'm like, clean it out. Clean it out. It's kind of gross, I think, though, because then I do everything else.

Yeah. You say a loofah is gross, but you're just fingering your asshole with soap on it. Yeah, that's true. I don't know. I feel like it just easily washes off your hands. Hopefully I'm not fingering my ass. Well, you got to get deep, dude. You do got to get deep.

Speaking of assholes. Have a little fun. My roommate, he came the first night or day we were here. He came out and goes, Have you ever taken a shit that makes you question your sexuality um have you no no i thought about though and i tried that on stage last night and like people enjoyed it i've never seen like a porn where what you looking for over there debbie hey get down get down i just there's like cookies up there so i know they shouldn't have

chocolate and stuff hey um they're in a bag so I know they shouldn't have chocolate and stuff. They're in a bag, though. She also just shouldn't go on the counters. But like you never, because there are some shits where you're like, damn, that felt good. Aren't there? Good, but not sexually good.

No, but you're like, okay, thank God that came out, but it came through your ass. And she's like, that felt good. But I was thinking about it, because maybe he's, know there's something to that no porn you're like no girls like get it out get it out get it out they always want it deeper they always want the like the sensation that there's something in there right right um i mean even if even if it did like if i like got hard from like a really good shit it it wouldn't, it wouldn't make me question my sexuality.

It'd be like, it would just like, well, I just want a girl to throw a finger. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good point. It doesn't have to be gay just cause you have something in your ass.

True. There's nothing wrong. Nothing gay about a little prostate stuff, dude. No. Um, he's like, just,

you need to just check for me. Um, can you imagine if you got hard every time you took a shit? Like, your shits just are twice as long. Because you're like, you're done. Like, fuck, now I got to wait for this to go down. Yeah, I mean, it would make, like, peeing harder for sure. Because you can't, like, you can't.

You got to, like, hold it down then. Yeah, you'd have to be in such an awkward position. Dude, peeing with a boner is tough. Have you tried? Like, you really got to go morning water or something like that, and you're like... Yeah, you just kind of got to really lean. Yeah. And you think, like, all right, I'm not turned on by this at all.

This should be going down quickly, and it doesn't. It's just there. I'm like, fuck. And no patience. You look so nice. Yeah. I mean, it's just part of having a penis, but I'd still much rather have a penis. Oh, my God, yes.

No fucking way. The convenience cannot be beat. There's no way. Yeah. I just drew a complete blank. I was going to say something about, could you be a girl? Like, what would it take for you to be like, I could be a girl? Money- do you i don't know i don't that's also like i drew up blanks i'm like i don't think money wise you just drew a blank because it was a stupid question it is yeah

what do you think the worst part about being a girl would be um i was thinking about saying something horrible, but... Go for it. I mean, all the extra, like, emotions, maybe. Dude, I think it's just expensive. Oh, that too, yeah. Like, all the extra shit. Like, if you get into makeup, if you, like, like hygiene products all that stuff that basically yeah

they're just much more complicated creatures in every way yeah i think that's a product of like marketing and stuff too like we don't have all that stuff we're like we need to be yeah imagine if we had to wear makeup or felt like we had to. We don't care. Yeah. Not at all. I don't fucking care, dude. If I'm ugly, I'm ugly. I'm at the point now where I'm fine. Like, if I wanted to go out but, like, be comfortable, I'm like, I could go out in sweatpants.

I don't think that's an option for a girl. Or that even goes through their thought. Yeah, a lot of them for sure. Just like, oh, I'm going to go out tonight but in sweatpants. And if they do, we judge them. Oh, absolutely. But why the fuck are you in sweatpants. And if they do, we judge them. Oh, absolutely. But why the fuck are you in sweatpants? What do you think you're doing?

Like, this isn't your couch. How long have you had Debbie, right? Yeah, so she is about six and a half. Really? Yeah, I got her at six months. Oh, wow. So six years. Oh, puppy. So, six years. Oh, puppy.

You're so calm. She's the source of a lot of my material. Really? Oh, yeah. I have a lot of jokes about dogs. My dog. Well, you should add the cum one to it. I think I have.

Like, I've tried it. I've just been, like, bullshitting on stage. I haven't, like,'ve tried it I've just been like bullshitting on stage Yeah I haven't like really tried to make it work I think you could do the Comrade one Yeah That's a nice little nickname for her I like I do like

Hansel and Gretel Yeah Breadcrumb Trail of Jizz Yeah that's Good girl Where do you live? River West River West.

River West? Yeah. So Bremen's nice and close for you. Bremen, all the River West mics. Can you walk there if you wanted to? In summer, I do. In summer, yeah. A lot of times I would walk her to the mic, sign up, walk her back,

and then subscribe there. That's nice. Yeah, that's the best part of what moving down here is it used to be like a 30 minute walk or not walk jesus 30 minute drive to uh get to bremen from new berlin and now it's an eight minute drive yeah i walked to high note last night oh really yeah it's like 15 minutes that's not bad at all yeah sure the summertime comes that's definitely what i'm gonna do i mean i walk back it's like a sobering experience yeah and you don't have to worry about driving exactly you don't have to worry about driving and which i've been bad with and

i save money on ubers too yeah it's hard when you're at mike's and you're just like i'm never like that bad yeah it's just like if i pulled over, it probably would not go my way. It definitely wouldn't go my way. But, like, I am totally comfortable driving the eight minutes. I'm not, like, fucking up, like. Exactly, yeah. But I know, like, people have, I've gotten yelled at, and rightfully so. There's, like, we know you felt fine, but if something did go wrong, you would have been fucked.

So like, we hate that you do it. Yeah. Yeah, I've been, have you had any close experiences with that? I feel like this is, this is probably not what we should be talking about. No, honestly, I haven't. That's good. Or I mean, okay, so there was one like years ago where I like I was Sober but like I was drinking all night

and like by that time I was driving I was I Didn't it wasn't like a close experience with the cops But like I basically I sobered up but I was like a little buzz and I fell asleep. It was like 5 a.m. At that point cuz I got the wheel. Yeah. And I hit a curb, busted my tire. Like I was almost home. So I made it home on a fucked up tire because I wasn't going to stop. Yeah. That's how a lot of people get caught, too, is they like they do something like that and then they just stop and then by and like, they need help. And then like, all right,

there's your DUI. Yeah. Yeah. I've never fought. Like I've never been like terrible, terrible. There's been nights where I'm like, I've,

I've driven. I'm like, I know I probably like I would get busted if I was pulled over. And I had a cop followed me for like what felt like forever. And then finally turned away. I'm like, that's some scary, like life altering shit we're like this isn't happening again because like you realize like if i get pulled over my life is not done but like it's it's a it sucks it's a big mark

it's a big mark why do i keep putting the cap on this um yeah and and like i'm i'm more comfortable like i mean typically the worst place is high note yeah so from high note to river west which is eight minutes and like it like there's not cops no with you no they're looking for other shit they're not looking for people drunk driving the hardest part as long as you're driving fine yeah the hardest part with me is like for the drinking is i'm totally fine like i don't i never i told myself when i did started this is that i never want to be the person that has to be drunk to get on stage. Um, and now that I know I can do it sober, um, I'm fine. And I'm like, all right, I'll have drinks before. It doesn't matter. It's the afterwards when we're all hanging out. And then that's where I'm like, I feel like I'm back in college. I kind of got a group of people now that I finally am like becoming friends with you guys more because it was brutal

in the beginning. Um, and you were super quiet. you didn't which i was too at first yeah what's weird like trying to just be like hey guys i'm your friend now like that wouldn't work i remember like one of your early mics you were hanging out we were like talking yeah i was talking to you and like you were like with everybody and then like you didn't come for a while and then um you like started coming back and you just didn't talk to anybody again. It was just kind of like. Yeah, so I think I had, like, one night. So when I started, it was very sporadic.

I wanted to say I just did it before I turned 25. And then I didn't do it for, like, two months. And then I was like, all right, once a week, kind of. Like the consistency, like every – I'm coming like – I'll do like three a week kind of thing now is – at least it's been three months. But, yeah, it was sporadic. And I don't know.

I always felt like I was going to be – Jesus. I thought I'd get away from the cars moving to an apartment. Yeah, you're downtown Milwaukee. Yeah,'t know. I always felt like I was going to be, Jesus. I thought I'd get away from the cars moving to an apartment. Yeah. You're downtown Milwaukee. Yeah, I know. I also had the window open. It's so nice out.

Yeah. But, yeah, no, the beginning, it's tough. It was like, I don't want to just be like, I'm your friend. Because if someone did that to, like, me, I'd be like, fuck off. I don't want to talk to you. Yeah. No, for sure. I mean, everybody, like, I don't want to talk to you. Yeah. No, for sure. I mean, everybody, like, I don't know.

Some people say it's clicky in Milwaukee, but not really. Like, everybody's pretty cool to newcomers. Like, I might not talk to you right away if I don't know you, but it's not like I'm like, I'm not going to talk to anybody unless I like their stand-up or whatever. Like, I fucking, I fuck with everybody. Yeah, it's not clicky. It's not terribly clicky at all.

It's – I mean, there are people who are, like, better friends with certain people, obviously. And that's natural. Like, that's so natural. But, yeah, most people – like, everyone has been super nice. I haven't had anyone be like, dude, fuck off. Like, you're not funny. Go talk somewhere else. Like, I, I don't want to hang out with you.

No one has done it. It's actually like, I'm actually, and that surprised me is like the people I think we would all consider that are a little higher up have all been very nice and like supportive or constructive, which is... Yeah, for sure. I've definitely got that vibe, too. The people that, like, join the scene and say it's clicky, they're just fucking assholes.

Yeah. Like, if you're an asshole, nobody's going to be nice to you. Exactly. So, like, just work on yourself and then i think we all like that's a group of people who all want to be like friends with everyone in it but like you said if you're gonna be an asshole we're not gonna yeah why would we want to hang out with people the people who are actually good at stand-up i mean there's definitely some people that are snobby and fucking dicks but the people that are actually good at stand-up and take it seriously are actively trying to get better

um they're not insecure yeah so they don't like they're just constructed they want they want to see everybody do well yeah no that's i i would agree the people who do want to see – yeah. Oh, yeah. Totally fine. The people who do want to see well, I like the comics that you think take it seriously or look like they take it seriously are the ones that I think are the nicest. Like, hey, we're taking this seriously. We think you're going to take it seriously. Why not be friends? I think when you get older you tend to befriend effort over intent for sure because there are people you can tell who

are doing it and they think it's just gonna like the difference between like you think it's just gonna work out versus i know i need to work at it to work out is you can tell certain people in the scene. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I mean, it's like anything. It's like people don't, people think that like being funny isn't a skill, but it totally is. Yeah. There is some natural ability. Like some people just have natural state presence, confidence, or like demeanor, the way they talk. Yeah. But that doesn't translate to a Netflix special. right well i mean it's like at that it's like it's like athletics it's i mean some people have more natural ability exactly some people are

explosive some people have good stamina it's like everybody just has different gifts but yeah you need to work at it like it's you're not gonna the first time you tell something that can almost guarantee you nine times out of ten that's not gonna be the way you tell it at the very end exactly you're gonna you gotta edit it's it's a big thing and you have to be comfortable with i mean i i always struggle like talking about this like i'm giving advice because i shouldn't be giving advice at all we're like both still very exactly but it's still i don't know completely forgot where i was gonna go but like you can't be afraid to bomb like that's part of the process every

comedian podcast i've listened to too there's like you have to bomb yeah i you think you're gonna kill it every time once a week oh at least yeah easily usually it's bremen but usually it's bremen bremen's super hit or miss is like sometimes it can be fucking awesome if that room's hot it's fucking oh yeah we're just talking about comedy that like is not relatable to anybody if you're i mean i'm just so you know yeah we're talking about Local mics No that's fine Okay Yeah Um It's only been like Four minutes We've really talked about comedy

Yeah Um No I like That's why I said There's no structure to this I like talking about What I'm interested in Yeah

And I uh I'm glad I'm getting all Like the comics on now I want to get everyone Yeah For the most I was just like We haven't talked about jizz

In like four minutes I know we gotta get back to jizz and shit. And Debbie heard jizz and came running. Like where? Are you hungry? Are you hungry? You want a treat? Just kidding.

Oh, I wish I had them. I should have brought some. What's her cheat like human food ever? Yeah. I mean, I try to like stick with protein, but it's fine. Stick with what? Like, proteins and, like, the shit that she would. Yeah, I need to thaw some stuff.

She gets yucky tummy. Really? Yeah. Pretty easily. There was one time, I take her to work with me a lot. I'm a carpenter. You are adorable. Like, I take her to work and um she hates the

nail guns like she's terrified of the nail gun i'm not surprised she didn't like the elevator coming up yeah like she's fine with everything she's cool she just like chills while i'm like i'll be like cutting with saws loud shit she's fine it's the pop of the nail gun yeah the and the uh the air compressor she doesn't like that. So she was up. She went upstairs because I was working downstairs. There were some people, different people working upstairs, but they were fine with her being there because she was nervous. And she gets a yucky tummy when she's nervous.

And she just fucking, like, sprayed shit, like diarrhea on the wall. Like, it wasn't. I don't even think she saw it coming because she didn't, like, she was gonna take a shit it just went straight back it just splattered all over the wall like like a projectile if i go just that's gross that's so like paint in the back of the toilet yeah it was it was so gnarly like i walked up i'm like i can't even like i can tell i'm like investigating it like a detective i can tell i'm like investigating it like a detective i can tell that she wasn't expecting this it just like exploded out of her scared her too yeah i like that you just talking about you shitting in public yeah i don't care at all

imagine if humans were able to do that like oh i have, I have to shit. I just go where I am. That would be... Disgusting. It would be disgusting, but, like, kind of freeing. It would be freeing. If nobody cared, if nobody, like... If I didn't look at you and be disgusted, I was like, oh, yeah, he's got to shit.

He's going to do it. He's going to shit on the floor right here. I'll pick it up later. Or just out the window. And then someone picked it up for us that would be that would be some good content right now we just turn the camera you just shit out that window yeah dude i had an apartment uh in college and we had a balcony that overlooked like this long like driveway to like the parking structure underneath and i hosted my

buddy's birthday party there once everyone and their mother guy wise pissed off this balcony we they every like substance like fluid whatever from someone's body went off that balcony except for shit i was like i was waiting to like go out there and someone's just like so leaning somebody jizzed off of it just probably dude i mean that party got busted for i'm always complaining to too many people and drugs in the bathroom like i there's so much shit that probably went off that but people were throwing up off the balcony um pissing off the balcony it was disgusting um they peed on someone it yeah I had a friend In college Where'd you go?

Or no It was when he was in college I didn't go to college How old are you again by the way? I'm 26 But my buddy He's like one of my best friends He had a prank war

With the people Like down below him Yeah And I don't know There was like some back and forth stuff Somebody like Leaned a I think they leaned like some back and forth stuff somebody like leaned a uh i think they leaned like a trash can full of like bullshit on their door and they opened it

fucking poured in and then uh i think this won it but their balcony was below and my buddy shit off the balcony like it was a couple stories but like they were bottom like they were higher up and it just like they heard it like it was like it was like a couple of stories, but like they were bottom, like they were higher up and it just like they heard it. It was like a couple seconds. Like he shit. And then just a couple of like splat. Shit. Splat.

That's actually, honestly, I'm more impressed than disgusted. Cause you got to lean over the balcony and you got to get it to land. And usually those balconies are evenly out. So unless the one at the bottom was farther out. I think, i think that's what it was i was gonna say because that's impressive you judged the yeah i mean you'd have yeah you'd have to like fucking like put some curt spin on it you've got like a lot you're holding a ramp too so it just slides down that's impressive yeah dude what do you do what do you

do like you just i know you can't you can't shit back you can't you can't shit up i mean imagine if you're on the balcony too oh you're just like what i'm pretty sure it was like winter too so it froze it was like and freeze i think i'd rather have that though if it freezes because then you can kind of it would make it way less disgusting to clean up yeah you can just pick it up whereas summer it like kind of melts. And then it smells even more. Fuck. You ever done any good pranks on anyone? I don't know if we can top shitting on someone's balcony. Yeah.

Not, I don't know. I was never really, like, a bunch of a pranker. No. My mom used to do stuff. She would tell me about stuff she would do. And, like you said, like, the bucket. You lean against the door, you knock on it, and water comes out. They put like baby powder and flour and shit underneath the door, like if you had here. And then they would blow dry it underneath, and then everything in the –

I mean, they would do four-pound, like one of those four-pound bags, and just – and then your room is just littered with flour. You can't clean that up yeah yeah that's that's a mess best one i've ever seen my parents do and i was a part of it uh my neighbors like dad and my best friends turned 40 and my apparently my dad had been saving shredded paper i was wondering like why do we have contractor bags those black bags just littered with construction paper or and like shredded paper and so we had a bonfire in the night um got him hammered didn't realize it at the time because i was so young like what they were doing

got him wasted went home passed out once he got home my dad and the other like neighbor dads grabbed all their kids their sons are like let's go like what are we doing we took this shredded paper and made it snow in their lawn and in their berms just in their what their lawn their berms like uh like yeah so like the mulch area where you have like uh like like right in front of your house would be like wood chips and shit like that um and i've never seen someone so mad they're like you can't clean that up yeah like they tried mowing the lawn to get it like it wouldn't come out it looked like it snowed there for weeks it was just he was he came and cost fuck dude who are you raised were you raised by

fucking johnny knoxville he came and cussed our family out the three stooges like what the fuck, dude? Who are you raised? Were you raised by fucking Johnny Knoxville? He came and cussed our family out. The three stooges? Like, what the fuck? Our family? A family of clowns? You ever, like, as you get older, realize, like, what your parents were doing when you were younger kind of thing? Like, when we would have, like, because we had, like, a bonfire pit in our backyard. All the neighbors come over, and we kids would play, like, night games around our house and shit like that yeah we live in a pretty small

neighborhood so we knew everyone and we're like oh our parents are just hanging out they're getting wasted apparently like when i would go to like graduation parties our parents would get drunk again i'm like i know what they're doing now and they confess stories like oh your mom and i were looking to get uh we were like trying to find weed in the neighborhood i'm like what yeah like do you think someone's just selling weed in the neighborhood yeah like another mom's like yeah you can have it they're just like they were that drunk i'm like yeah okay cool yeah like that's what it was my parents were just pretty normal like i think for the most part mine were too but they didn't fuck around like they were like church parents that's why i'm like a pretty big disappointment now um but you know none of

life goes on my i mean i i wouldn't say i'm a total disappointment to my family no i'm not no i know like my my mom is like so sweet and wholesome she doesn't like the things i say or like on stage but she sees that i'm working hard at something yeah and she likes it she she appreciates that aspect of it like i did i did stand up in front of my mom for the first time how did that go i'm afraid to do it um it went well like i had a good set it was in maui um that's gotta be cool yeah like i told her like because i've always told her like that i'm not like i don't want her to come yeah but i'm like look i'm not gonna stop saying horrible shocking things so just if you want to come just know that like i'm gonna say some fucked up shit yeah um and oh i did i did 15 minutes um i think it was

my first time doing 15 minutes and it went really well and uh she she couldn't look me in the eye for a while but um she's like proud that i'm doing something you know like that you're doing something you like yeah i think that's all parents want or like i hope yeah they're doing something they love not something they feel like they have to do yeah and she's always like like she's always told me like she does like she thinks i'm fun like as a kid like she was like she always thought i was like really funny yeah and like for a kid and like so i think she she realizes that i'm doing what i should be doing yeah so uh but she's, she doesn't like the gross stuff. No, I can't imagine.

When I had the showcase for High Note February, my mom was like, can we come? Like, no. Like, listen, one day I want you guys to watch me do this once, but the first one that I'm doing over five. Puddlers. Stop. Oh, I mean, yeah, like i just don't but yeah i just i just want tickets so i don't give a fuck we'll sell some tickets for that for sure

um i'm not i'm it's it's not no you're good i think we definitely could sell some um i'll definitely i think most of the people in the audience for the show for the February showcase were my friends and stuff like that yeah that's that's why I try to get people for the first show um I have pretty supportive friends for the most part yeah most of the ones that like would 100% come all live in different states now like one kid almost flew um one of our friends uh lives in Colorado he called me he's like I thought about flying out for it. I was like, really? That's a good friend.

Yeah, it's a great friend. I've realized I got like, and I've made somewhat of a joke about it, but there are levels to friends, like the take a bullet friends, the friends in the middle, and then I need everyone fucking else to be here to hang out with you kind of thing.

And those are like, the take a bullet friends are, are you got like I think you're like six max kind of people. Those are like your your best man at your wedding. But that's one of them. Yeah. No, I want to I want to pack that room after after the snow kind of killed the February one. I keep wanting to say March because March. I want to get as many people as possible. Yeah, man.

I appreciate that. You'll make some commission. Yeah. We were talking about fucking doing it, doing stand-up in front of your parents, though. Yeah. I did, last night at my show, my old kickboxing coach came. Last night at my show, my old kickboxing coach came. Okay.

And I was more nervous to do stand-up in front of him than I was my parents. Because he is fucking terrifying. Yeah. Like, this dude, he works with, like, the best fighters in the world. What's his name? I don't know if I should say it on the podcast, but... That's fine, yeah. I don't know if I just say it on the podcast, but... That's fine, yeah. Yeah, but, like, I trained at Rufusport for years.

He's one of the head coaches there. And he's a great coach, great dude, just a fucking terrifying individual. I believe it. Like, he's a little grumpy, and, like, there's so many times that like you're doing something wrong in practice and he like makes an example out of you in front of everybody like he's just like he's a good coach tough guy and like i was like oh my god like if i disappoint him he's gonna be like do that again do that again see what happens like like he would

in practice and then you just get slapped in the face. And you know, like, because you respect him so much, if he was in the audience, like, try it again. He'd be like, uh, okay. Like, say that joke again. Fuck. You fuck. You stutter.

You PTSD. Yeah, no. No, he's awesome. I really appreciate that he came. But, yeah, it was like, fuck. This is, like, I didn't know he was coming until he got there that was um so my roommate here so basically surprised me one night and like came like because i wasn't telling anyone what time i was going like when i first started like what time i was going or like where i was doing it at for oh for stand up but like when i first wanted

to check out what it was like here i went to the high note actually and i just like they have an open mic here i want to see what it's like and so he's like i think i know where he is tonight because i told him i was doing it don't know when i'll get on stage dude literally came as the person before me was finishing up and i was like i don't even have time to process that he's here he brought his like girlfriend and that's when i like was the most nervous is like doing in front of someone you know like you said because like fuck i like someone like you respect like if i fuck this up they're gonna be like yeah why are you doing this kind of thing but that's what made it the most real then too is like okay now people have actually seen it's not just something i say i'm doing they know i'm doing it right and then i'm like that like your good friends will realize that it's a process oh yeah good your first and then as we said because he came to the showcase too and he goes compared to the last time i the

last two times i mean do night and day difference of like your stage presence i'm like all right that's well that's what you want to hear oh yeah no you've been you've gotten like so much better in the last couple months like since you started doing it regularly yeah i feel it that's what you want to hear oh yeah no you've been you've gotten like so much better in the last couple months like since you started doing it regularly yeah i feel it that's what ryer uh messaged me today and said the same thing and i was like yeah that felt good to like hear like you kind of want to hear like i hate compliments hate them because i don't know how to accept them um but if every once in a while like all right i feel like like that affirmation like all right i'm actually working on it um yeah so i don't like it when p like it does i'm the same way when people are like oh you're you're so good you're so fun like you you give people at shows that will tell you that

um usually people who don't really know stand-up they just like it's usually after one or like that wasn't great yeah uh sometimes was like you have a good set people will say it and like um but like if somebody saw me before and then saw me now and they say like like you said like oh my god like like in maui i did a couple shows in maui when i lived there and then i came back here um maybe like eight months and uh i think i was doing stand-up regularly again i just fucking grinding for eight months pretty much every night and then um went back i did a show there again and everybody was like holy shit that is so much better yeah like and i did well like the first time too it's one of those things where even you get like impressed with yourself because like even though you know you have to work at it, I think every time you write something, you're like, I think this is going to work.

Did I fuck that up? I'm just a little right now. It's fine. I don't care. Slide this way. But, yeah. So, like, even time you write, I'm like, oh, this is going to work. And then a month later, like, oh, this was way better than what I thought it was going to be a month ago.

It's, it's good. Like even you kind of like, well, cause there's a lot of times, I mean like with anything, like you've, you don't feel like,

like I get fucking down on myself if I'm not feeling like I'm progressing, like I want to. Same. Um, and then, but then you've like, but you are, you're just not noticing it.

Exactly. And that's the thing too, is like, Hey, an edit might not work. So you're like, you're like, but you are, you're just not noticing it. Exactly. And that's the thing too, is like, Hey, an edit might not work. So you're like, you're like, fuck,

I didn't do it right. And I'm like, well then just try again. But it is like demoralizing at most of the, the few comics that have been on here or, or if I talked to him at high note, um, they're like,

uh, you have days in the week where you're like, you leave the mic and you're like, why the fuck am I doing this? And then you have days in the week where like you leave the mic and you're like why the fuck am i doing this and then you have like you do something well on friday and just carries you through the weekend you're like i'm on the top of the fucking world yeah if you crush on a weekend like friday night you're like i'm good like you could do no wrong during the weekend you're like oh here we go um yeah i mean and that shows, too. Like, when you get more shows going, which you definitely will soon.

Yeah. Dude, my goal this year was to have one. Yeah. Literally one. You're there. You got it. And I have something every weekend this month, which, except for. Oh, really?

Yeah, kind of. Oh, wow. What all are you on? I have. I guess it's just kind of plugging your shit, but like... Yeah, and we'll do yours too. I had this... Well, this was...

So I got my first hosting experience last night. Next week is the show in Lake Geneva at the Lake Geneva House of Music. Oh, with Gaynor? Gaynor, Corey Strike, Maria, and I think someone else. I don't know. I got to get more details on it. Following week is, I believe, a guest spot on Maria's. And then one week off.

And then hosting the High Note Showcase. And then yours. Oh, shit. You're on another high note showcase yeah i must really like you yeah i think he does what the hell man i haven't been on one of those in a while yeah oh well evan i think i did a good i think i did pretty well on the february one and the feature act dropped because he couldn't it was like that snowstorm and so he didn't want to like drive from no don't blame him at all wanting to drive back.

Although my friends came from Madison and they drove home. So, but, so basically I turned into. What he's saying is that you're a pussy. But basically I turned into the. I just, I got to piss. Yeah, go pee. But I basically turned into the feature and it worked. And I was able to put it in 15 to 18 minutes.

And he's like, yeah, you can host now. Yeah. Yeah. I did some like riffing in the beginning, but for way longer than I thought, like I actually cut out a whole five minute bit.

P break. Debbie, come here. P break. Debbie. Come here. How are you? How are you? Well, you know what? We're going to have some dead space. I'm going to get a beer.

And I am back. Yeah, no. This isn't easy. Like, if I want to edit anything out, I can't. Otherwise, no. This isn't easy. Like, if I want to edit anything out, I can't. Otherwise, to be honest, I'll probably just leave this in there. It doesn't matter. Yeah. Who cares?

If, like, people who listen to this, like, full version of it get this far, they're like, all right, this usually happens. When I was, like like the beginning days of this we were doing in the garage and we'd like i used to do this and then go straight to high note and so i'd have like a little buzz and stuff like that but i'd drink enough where i'm like i gotta pee and we just like we're on i go i just grabbed a new one um everyone would just leave and pee multiple times the garage was I missed doing it in the garage It was such a cool like Set up

Yeah But I think this will be great Once we get shit on the walls here I think it's gonna be fun And then we'll do We'll have you come back For the When I do the cooking thing

Okay The cooking thing's gonna be so fucking fun It was pretty good What is that? IPA I'm not an IPA person Are you? I'm not

Like I like some It tastes like orange Probably I mean it's IPA? I'm not an IPA person. Are you? I'm not. Like, I like some. It tastes like orange. Probably. I mean, the can's orange. Here, get yourself in the middle-ish of the camera again. Yeah. Do some.

Yeah, no, I like to cook. That would be fun. Have you ever seen a, what's it called? Something's Burning? Yeah, Burning, yeah. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. So basically like you get to a point where every cooking show is going to be semi-similar. You just kind of like it's your personality over like the theme. But I kind of want to do something like that.

Yeah, that would be fun. Because he's not doing – Bert's not doing it much anymore. I haven't seen a new – when I found it, I was like this is sweet. This is exactly what I want to do. He's good at it. Yeah. It was perfect for him. I just need someone who's better.

So I'm terrible with the cameras. Editing, I hate doing it. It takes fucking forever. But now with the new job, because I just sit behind a desk for a while, I can just do my shit there. The only thing I've got to do is sign people up and work out it's kind of nice um but i want like someone to like actually make this look good because someone messed up one of these cameras once and like one of them looks different than the other when we record now i'm like i don't know how to fix this oh yeah i'm sure it's

all right hey deb Debbie come on Um Yeah The cooking show would be dope Um okay Let's get into I don't know Say Wild shit I don't know what to talk about

Wild wise You got any fun stories Like I like Um Well uh So Like what Um

Okay I gotta Uh Ah fuck Okay Um I mean well last night There was a fight after the open mic. Yeah, dude, I took so long. I should have just turned the cameras on right away, but let's go over this again.

Yeah, I shouldn't have even started talking about it. But our friend Avery, who is an MMA fighter. Brown belt. And a brown belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Which is impressive as fuck, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's high level It takes like At least five-ish Plus probably more years To get to that level of Jiu Jitsu

He's really good I also think he's a little crazy in the head too A little bit, but we all are There might be some fucking brain damage But uh We all have our issues He's singing My Neck my neck, my back, my pussy and my crack,

which is his karaoke song. Every, every time when it says the N word, uh, he says, uh, not going to say that word. I hate the Jews.

Yeah. Fuck my life. I'm bombing. Um, and then, and then, but then I don't know. So I,

I didn't even like, I wasn't really like paying attention to him. And then I noticed there's like a dude on stage, like like, paying attention to him. And then I noticed there's, like, a dude on stage, like, leaning against the wall. Yeah. And then, like, at one point, like, towards, like, the song's almost done. And he, uh, he fucking, like, they lock eyes. The guy, like, kind of, like, puffs up his chest. I'm like, what the fuck is going on up there?

And he throws this, like, weirdly, like, gay little punch at Avery. And he throws this like weirdly like gay little punch at Avery. And like, I went up and I fucking just grabbed that dude. I got the underhooks. I just fucking, I threw him on the ground and then somebody was like grabbing me and I ended up just on top of this dude. I'm like, I had my- God damn it, I left way too early. I had like all of my my weight in my fucking hand,

just pushing on his chin just to keep him down. Yeah, just keep him down and fucking make him regret it a little bit. Why do we think he went after him? Did Avery Sace talk to him before? No, so I don't know. Somebody was saying that they thought he said the N-word. Oh, okay. But he definitely didn't.

Yeah. But it seemed out of nowhere. I just, like, I was hanging out, having a good time. I look over, and then, but, yeah. It's, like, the last person in that bar that you, like. Literally the last person. Me and Avery are, like, the people that you, like, you don't want to fucking swing on. Absolutely not.

You're right. You two are the last two people i'd want to fight yeah i would fight actually i wouldn't fight anyone i would get my ass kicked in just about every setting um yeah i think you could take maria i think i can take maria yeah although i think maria would be a dirty fighter oh yeah she'd scratch she would scratch bite claw have you uh have you been in many street fights none it was a goal of mine in college to get into a bar fight before I graduated. It never happened. Yeah.

I've been in... So, I'm like... I'm very good at... What do these buttons do? Because I accidentally pushed them a couple times. The bottom ones. Up and down volume or something? Up and down volume.

Yeah, I don't fucking know. Okay, well... Yeah, you're fine. Is this so just don't just make sure it stays on okay this is um like a i'm like i i've fought for years um like how'd you get into that real quick by the way um it was an old crazy ass neighbor of mine okay he was uh honestly like the dude like he's a really good dude but he's like a little nuts um but like i was like 15 and uh he kind of like he was in like he used to box and like he's into martial arts and he would like just show me some stuff and i was like the more i did the, the more I fucking loved it. Yeah. No, I love that shit. And then he, eventually he's like, okay, I can't teach you anymore. And he sent me to Rufusport.

Yeah. Which is like the best mixed martial arts gym in basically the Midwest. It's one of the top in the fucking world. The reason I asked the coach is I was listening to a Rogan podcast this week with a chef. And he had, I forgot the name of the chef, but he was a black belt in something, and he mentioned that there's a super good training facility gym here in Milwaukee. Yeah, Ruvus Park.

Okay, so that's it. Duke Ruvus is the head coach. That's why – yeah. Yeah, no, that's where I've trained. Like, they're some of the best fighters. They have people that are, like, homegrown, started at their gym that are now in the in the UFC okay that's the only reason I asked them like I think because then that sounds familiar yeah no that's the gym I just don't

want to name them by name but um but you know and then I started uh um so I went to started a river sport and I was just fucking like, so like psyched. I was like, just went, it was like all I did. I would just work, train, fucking sleep. Like I used to be in like really good shape. Like I was like, there was a time I was like doing 10 hour days construction, running two hours of practice. And then like.

Dude, you must've slept so well. Oh yeah. I mean, I was healthy. I was eating clean. Now I'm just in bars every night drinking beer and telling jokes about my penis. But so, you know, one is one is healthier for my body. But comedy, I get way less concussions. Yeah.

How many have you had? I don't know.'s hard to really three like but only one's been diagnosed yeah i mean i had one really bad one from the cops i was putting handcuffs face down on the ground and dude fucking just elbowed me until i was unconscious not brush over this one why did that happen i'm like i'm like i have like three different stories going on but we'll get to all of them okay so i uh um i don't know what started it because i was so severely concussed i was um i was at country thunder in twin lakes illinois are you a country music fan i am okay i am too i know it's hard to find other people who are like like country music

i don't like most of like the pop country i like do you know tyler childers he's like my favorite sturgill simpson um those kind of guys like old-timey country my favorite right now is like i'm like early 2000s late 90s country like it's what i grew up on yeah um midland is like the newest oh yeah i love them my absolute favorite chris stapleton's fucking stapleton's great but yeah continue i'm seeing whiskey myers this oh nice weekend uh do you know um fucking uh um oh sorry eric church yeah i love eric church okay he was the concert i was at what year is this i probably was there um fuck i was like 21 so like five years ago yeah i was 20 no i wasn't there i think i was at yeah i wasn't there i got separated from my friend um and like that was like

the last thing i remember i uh and then like the next thing i remember is coming to like in a police i was crying. Because I don't know. After a severe concussion like that, a lot of times, typically you get either really emotional or angry and just violent. But I remember crying. I felt like such a pussy. Why can't I stop crying?

And then I spent the night in jail. I had no idea what happened until I talked to my buddy the next day. And he said, like, I didn't see what started it. But I walked up to the situation and you were on the ground face down in handcuffs and a cop was elbowing you in the side of the head. I had a bunch of bruises all over the side of my head. And then they, he went up to a different cop. He's like, hey, can you, like, what's going on? Like, I need to know where I pick him up.

That's clearly not right. Yeah. The guy's like, you know, you need to leave. Leave the premises. You're kicked out. He's like, well, no, I'm not leaving until I know what, that he's safe. I'm his ride. Like, what can we do?

Yeah. What can we do about this? No, you just leave. Get the fuck out. He wouldn't. He's like, okay, put your hands on your back. Cuffed him. Threw him on the ground. Fucking beat the shit out of him. Get the fuck out. He wouldn't. He's like, okay, put your hands on your back. Cuffed him. Threw him on the ground.

Fucking beat the shit out of him. What the fuck? Just like all over. He had bruises all over his body. It's like the cops with the power complex. Exactly. That's the problem. I'm not even going to get into all the details, but they were like, they did so much that night to cover their ass.

They took my phone. I never got my phone back. their ass they took they took my phone i never got my phone back they um they called my uh my mom from my phone and said um that i was there i was uh they they they didn't say they were the cops they said like this some name he said uh i tried he lost his phone i tried to give it back to him but he's being belligerent and he tried to punch me. I'm like, I'm not fucking violent. Since I've started training and fought in the ring, I don't... I think that's most people. When you learn how to basically kill someone, you don't do it unless it's a necessity.

I'm not insecure. I don't have anything to prove. I know that I can fight, so I don't. And then my mom was like, that does not sound like him at all. Even at 21. Like I was never like that. Even drunk. There's no way.

But then so. But then we looked at the time of that call and I had been booked like an hour ago. An hour before. That's so fucking weird. So they and then they never gave my my phone wallet shoes they didn't give me anything um and country thunder surprised me too because that's usually like the lenient one over like yeah you're going to country usa uh no so that's where like i got my one and only drinking ticket there because they're like cracked down and stuff versus i could be like

face down in the dirt at country thunder and be like, he's fine. Yeah. So that surprised me a little bit. Yeah. I mean, that's really the only country fest that I went to. Yeah. And then I stopped for obvious reasons. Yeah.

I went too. But I talked to my lawyer. He met the tour bus driver for Jason Eldeen. Okay. Just casually. He's like, oh, what shows do you... Where do you like to go around here? Didn't bring up my case at all. And the guy was like, well, Country USA, that's a fun one.

Country Thunder, the cops, they just beat the shit out of drunk people. That's bad if Like artist. Yeah. Who probably has like, isn't interacting with anyone. Yeah. No, they have a reputation. Um, I, I honestly think that they know that if they fucking hit somebody in the head enough, they won't remember what started it and it fucking ruins their case. That's why, like, I mean, I, I ended i ended up uh i had like a resisting arrest charge

um they tried to charge my friend with a felony that's fucking crazy so fucked up dude like it's it's um damn that's that's fucked up and like those are the kind of stories that people are like i because by no means am i like all fuck the cops by any means but that kind of shit can't happen the power complex. Yeah, no, it's fucked up. They just know they've got away with it for years. Maybe it's better now. I don't know.

Who knows? When I went, like, I had a great time, Thunder Kusa, when he brought up, like, meeting someone, the two of us. My buddy. So he is a fanatic of country music. Like, fanatic. It's crazy. Moved to Nashville because he likes it so much

like he isn't even singing down there he's just like yeah he likes being down there but uh that was awesome we so we got tickets and he wins everything he's like hey man i want two tickets in the pit for carry on to what do you want to go like yeah obviously we were madison and then um so we go to kusa with him and he uh's like, I want to get close to the stage because Dark's Bentley's on. It's like one of his favorite artists. And so he – we have the general admission tickets, but he hops the fence. Well, actually, no. He won two tickets to get into like the seated area.

And they're like, let's go closer. He picked two seats that next to these two old ladies that they were empty and they go those are our husband's seats he goes oh i'm so sorry i'll go back he goes no no they're not coming today you can have them i'm like what the fuck so he gets that with our buddy and he goes i want to get even closer so he hops the fence gets closer and then dirks comes down for uh i don't know what song it is but like basically dirks was shotgunning beers with people brings him on stage and shotguns a beer on stage with dirks family he was 19 at the time um brought him on sorry dirks if you ever watched this um you committed

a felony he's just he's just got that. Yeah, and so they brought him on stage. It literally, like, and the old people were like, that could have been my husband. I'm like, well, I'm pretty sure they're, like, old, old. Meanwhile, the same night, my other buddy got so drunk, he fell asleep in the tent the entire time. Like, didn't even see the concert. I'm like, I had someone have the worst night of their life

and the best night of their life. Yeah, they're fun. I might go, I'll probably go to one this year. I can't decide if I would have as like the first time i went to thunder was so fun that like i don't know if i could ever top it um but it's a time it's disgusting i mean i had first i went to thunder i went to the hospital afterwards because i didn't eat i've said it on here so many times but like in the span of four days i had probably like a few chips and pretzels like that are out but i always had a bowl of pasta someone brought and a bite of a raw burger

jesus in in four days otherwise i carried around a handle of jack daniels i made like a wop thing that i would i had an empty bottle of like uh kenny chiels i made like a wop thing that i would i had an empty bottle of like uh kenny chesney's like blue chair bay rum that i would just dump the bottle in fill it up and i would just drink it like that we were putting our heads in it and seeing how long we could drink so we passed out and then i would still put the bottle like i was drinking wop with like my disgusting like everyone's hair yeah like i have the videos of it that's the best way to drink wop exactly and as disgusting but then I like I was like all right I usually get hung over which is like yeah great like the worst I get like today I had like a small

headache I was like pop a ibuprofen or whatever and eat something I'm good the WAP fucked you up well I've learned sugary things fuck me yeah after and like i've just this is okay god if you i have a drink that is perfect for that kind of thing it's called riot punch i used to make i i kind of retired the recipe because it's pretty gnarly but it's ever clear it's mixed in a gallon jug like a gallon water jug i go ever clear uh blue gatorade um five hour energy red bull um coconut water uh and then i put some cane too no i b12 vitamins um and then uh that's it that's it doesn't sound terrible it's it it doesn't it's not like the best i'm gonna have you write it down but you you can and you have to like tinker with like the measurements.

You taste a little bit. I was like, okay, pour some out into a bottle. Yeah. Pour more Gatorade in. It's a little strong. More coconut water, whatever. But that, you don't get hung over. You get fucked up though.

Yeah. You can just all weekend long. If you ever have to drink for a weekend, that's the one. The Riot Punch. I like that. It's awesome. Dude, we should do like a comedian thing once. We just get everyone, bring everyone here, and then go out for,

do like a day drink thing. We can start with that or whatever. I think it would be so fun. Dude, first time I ever made WAP was in my college dorm in a trash bag. Yeah. Because you don't have like containers in it but i was like literally grabbed a garbage i like went bought unscented garbage bags and i just put a ton of fruit in it and then whatever and we just like i cut off the bag and i was like all right this didn't end up spilling everywhere no okay i was like all right

um yeah i uh you want me to finish my uh street fight story yeah i do and then i'll ask i know i'm supposed to ask like i usually ask a question at the end i don't have it yet but um we'll wrap it up here soon too okay um so take your time so my uh um i'm i'm pretty good at like i can just really like run my mouth but stay totally calm like i'm not like i don't get mad in those situations but i will like fuck with people yeah um like i i've had a few but i but then i when when it actually would if they like throw with me i can usually handle it without like really like hurting them that bad yeah and um so like i gotta fucking like take them down choke them out or whatever um i'm not that i'm not like a huge jiu-jitsu guy i'm more of a kickboxer but

i at least know enough to and i'm big and strong enough i can just take people yeah throw them around yeah um but this guy uh my friends and i something that uh my friends especially when we were really going out they wouldn't know like i'm by nature i'm protective like if we're if we're hanging out at the mic and somebody's fucking with you or yeah any of the comics like no i'm the one i can see that i can yeah i 100 see that so like my friends kind of like when we were younger and going out a lot they kind of took advantage of it. They knew that they could run their mouth, and I'm there. I was that guy with my friends, because all my friends were, like, twice as big as me.

And they'd be like, are you going to fuck with me? I got fucking Paul Bunyan and his brothers behind me. Yeah. So, like, we were at a hot dog stand. It was Shamrock Shuffle probably three years ago, maybe four. Which Shamrock Shuffle now three years ago, maybe four. Which Shamrock Shuffle now? Yeah, it was today. So we were just like in between bars.

My friend, he's the kind of guy that's awesome to hang out with until he reaches a certain point. He's just a fucking asshole. And I mean, honestly, for the most part, I love it. It's hilarious to me. It's entertaining. Yeah. But he's just like antagonizing this guy at a hot dog stand.

We just stopped for a hot dog in between bars. And he's just fucking with him and just talking shit. I don't know why. They're fighting over who was in line. And while they're doing that, I just order hot dogs for the three of us. I just buy three hot dogs. I just order hot dogs for the three of us. I just buy three hot dogs.

And then he realized, like, we started to walk away, and this guy realizes that we got our hot dogs before him. He's probably, like, 200 pounds, fat Asian dude, like, stocky build. And then he comes up to my buddy, and I get in between. I'm like, dude, just what the fuck? Why? Why are we fighting over hot dogs? Exactly two dollar hot dogs yeah like just like this is not worth it it's gonna take two seconds to get yours yeah and then um like but he keeps talking shit and i didn't

start talking shit back obviously yeah and um he then he just like swings at me with his arm cocked back. I have a hot dog in my left hand. And like, and he just kind of charges a stiff jab right in the face. And he just looks shocked and he looks around and fucking, and then he, he, he does the same thing again. Just charges the same exact thing. Same right hand cock back, pop stiff jab right to the mouth. Happened the third time. I still have a hot dog in my left hand.

I didn't even spill it on you. That was my only regret about that whole thing. I wish that I would have hit him, taken a bite, and hit him. I wish I would have taken a bite in between. That was my only regret. Like off a TV show. Like, dude, man, I told you to stop. Yeah. But I was like, I didn't even have taken a bite in between. That was my only regret. Like, off a TV show. Like, dude, man, I told you to stop. Yeah.

But, like, I was like, I didn't even drop a fucking onion, dude. It was like. That's impressive. Yeah. I was like, yeah, I mean, I could have fucking teed out. I could have really hurt him. But, like, he got a. I mean, I didn't feel good because he was coming in hard.

Yeah. And I just. It was a stiff fucking jab to the mouth. But, like, it could have been a lot worse. Yeah. We just got the fuck out of there. Like, after three, he finally learned his lesson and didn't charge again. Third time's the charm.

But, like, dude, how fucking, like, why are you fighting over hot dogs? You deserve to get punched in the fucking mouth. Absolutely. That's the thing about, like, fighting, too, is you do not know who can fight. Exactly. It's just not worth it, dude. It's not worth it at all. And anybody who can fight exactly it's just not worth it it's not worth it at all and anybody who can fight usually isn't going to try like no like i said like when you i think when

you learn to kill someone with your hands you learn to control it more than anything yeah i don't want to hurt anybody i don't i don't like hurting i like hurting people in um like in the ring like i i mean in like a healthy competitive way. Exactly. But if it's a normal person, I don't find fun in that. You didn't do it so you could be better in street fights. Oh, yeah, no.

No, you enjoy it. I mean, the self being secure and being able to defend myself and my family and my friends. I think that by no means do I want to compare it to people owning guns and stuff like that. But that's what I hope people have the mentality when they do buy guns. Because I'm a big gun fan.

I do it for the most rare case that I need to defend. When they say, like, to defend my family. It's like, all right, I get it's a little bit of a stretch. But no one's out here just being like, woo-hoo-hoo. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I have to pee again because I have the blood for a pregnant woman. You pee. I got to pee too.

And then I'll ask you one question, and then we'll wrap it up. All right, I'm going to tailor the last one. Usually I ask, like, so last season, I brought this up into seasons, like 16 episodes a season. And I would ask, ask like because we start talking like bullshit stuff like that like and it's nothing serious um and i like bring it back and like keep it serious for a second um i don't have that question yet but i think in terms of like comedy i like knowing why people like do what they do um i would say it's a three-parter one why did you start two what is a dream venue to perform at

and three how would you tour if you could um so why i started um i i just always um I just always, I started like having stories or bits that I would like tell. Your friends all the time. Yeah. And I would be like structured like a joke basically. Like I didn't write anything down. And it got to the point where like somebody, there's like a group of people. Somebody was like, Cody, Cody, come here. Do that one.

And then I would like, I'd do it like it and get some laughs or make people think I'm an asshole, whatever it was, usually the, the latter. But, um, fucking,

uh, so then I was like, I'm like, I'm writing bits. And, uh, so I just like, I just tried to open mic fucking eight shit because I blocked out the first time I did it.

Oh yeah. Like mask on. I was like, I sat down the first time i did it oh yeah like mask on i was like i sat down the whole time was not great yeah that's rough the mask on is is tough um yeah i mean i was just nervous dude i was like so shaking yeah and i was reading off my paper like i had like no stage presence whatsoever i was um and and like no subtlety i think i said retard like eight times i i also said um cunt and like there's just no subtlety yeah uh like i had jokes there was something there yeah but like it was um it was very uh it was very off-putting. It was very rough, yeah. It's tough to be great the first time.

Yeah, for sure. Especially if you're, like, dark. Because it takes, like, you have to be, like, really good at writing jokes. Exactly. If you're going to be that dark. And what was the second part? You can perform anywhere. You could sell out a crowd. Let's say, like, this works out beautifully for you. You could sell out a crowd.

Let's say like this works out beautifully for you. You get to pick a place like a state or like. I mean, it's pretty far out of the realm of possibilities, but Red Rocks would be amazing. That's mine. That's exactly mine. Yeah. And not a lot of comedians do Red Rocks.

Yeah. Outside venues are weird. Yeah, but, I mean, it would just be cool. It'd be so cool. Like, it doesn't go. I mean, even, like, just to, like, headline a comedy on State, though. Yeah. Fucking, like.

But, yeah, that's why I like the pipe dream. I want to see people. Because I was going to say, mine has always been Red Rocks. If I was any type of artist, I would want to perform at Red Rocks. Have you ever been there? I haven't. It's beautiful. It's fucking amazing.

And then I like thinking about this. Like, again, pipe dream. Things work out beautifully. You get to go on tour. How do you do it? What do you mean? So, like, I guess it's kind of a bad question now i'm thinking about it but like what i think people bring like comedians and stuff like that or like oh i'm

bringing my opening the feature blah blah um do you bring your entire act do you do local people i want to do like a tour do you fly everywhere do you do a tour bus well i want to do like a tour. Do you fly everywhere? Do you do a tour bus? Well, I want to bring my friends. Yeah. I mean, honestly, like I would I would like to do an RV. An RV. And like a tour bus, a bus that I like to be soup up into a house. Like honestly, like my plan, like within five years is buy a van, build it out and just, just drive around, do comedy.

Um, I take my tools so I can, if I can do side jobs for cash and then I can, I can focus on standup basically full time and just work hard and get better. Um, before I am ready to make that jump because I have like zero expenses and I can make money because I'm on my carpenter site yeah I can like I have that advantage where I can just do a job here and there yeah um so I mean and then the same would be like if I could do a tour bus I

build it out myself before I'm ready and just tour yeah i mean like i don't have like crazy huge expectations i just i would like to be able to pay bills with it yeah so to do it full time to um uh be able just to have an audience yeah an audience where people will come and see me um it doesn't have to be huge but like a niche audience that people see what i do and they like my shit and i think that's a reasonable i think that's what everyone should want yeah like i don't need to be fucking a super i don't need to be dave chappelle i don't need to sell no but it'd always be like it'd be cool yeah i mean red rock just being a red even if i open for somebody a red rock like it would be sweet yeah to do a red rock even if i opened for somebody a red rock like it would be sweet yeah to do a red rock imagine selling it out yeah that would be insane oh my god that'd be so cool i would be more

bothered i think if they're like we sold 95 of the tickets i'd be like fuck it like are you kidding me we couldn't lie to me lie to me say we sold it out well that i mean that's like i mean if you have like spaces if you have like one seat in between or whatever, that's basically sold out. It's basically sold out, yeah. All right, let's wrap this up. We'll do it again. And we both should brainstorm stuff for this kitchen thing. Yeah, I'm down.

I think having the comics around and brainstorming stuff for good shows and getting us all on is only good exposure for all of us. Actually, plug all actually plug all your stuff so um i do a show if you're in milwaukee uh michael's gonna be on the next one april 1st yeah april 1st april 1st puddlers hall in bayview um just like 10 minutes from downtown milwaukee um as a monthly show i host a roast battle there as well, March 26th and April 29th. Actually, March 29th, April 26th. Okay. So those are fun.

Follow me on Instagram at heckcody, or heck underscore Cody. And that's basically it. Your TikTok is what? Same thing. Same thing? Same thing. Okay, yeah. Everything. Put it out there. All right. Yep. is what? Same thing. Same thing? Same thing, yep. Everything, put it out there.

All right. Yep. Heck underscore Cody. Yep. Hopefully we can capitalize on what we did this week. Yeah, Debbie, you want a treat?

Debbie? We can both jizz for you. Anything to say? She perked up. She heard the other dog bark. We're ending it. Okay, thanks for having me, buddy. Yeah, of course.