Fat Chance Podcast - Ep.56 - Geeds

Episode Date: May 19, 2022

Give it a Goog why don't ya!

Now talking to it. Oh my gosh, I just panicked. I have no idea what to say. We're just testing it. Hey, you talk pretty loud. What? You talk loud. You can see the lines on yours.

Good levels? Well, it could also be the music, though. I feel like I usually project my voice pretty loud. Yeah, that's all I ask. What do you think we should talk about? How to solve world hunger. I think we should not do that. That sounds fucking miserable.

Dude, how good was that cookie, though? Good cookie. I agree with you. I, how good was that cookie, though? Good cookie. I agree with you. I can't eat more than... We're going. Yeah, we are. Oh, shit. The panic that came over your eyes.

I could not eat more than one of those. No, very dense. Very thick cookie. I want... Hello. You can come sit down. You're going to have to, otherwise you've got to sit in the room. You can be in the camera.

You're going to be on the next episode. Sorry, Connor's nervous. Yeah, I've got the yips right now i have no idea what to talk about no i think if you i said this last night if you would have asked or did i say this morning if i if you would have told me we were going to do a sober podcast this weekend i would have laughed in your face i actually could have guessed it because we got too busy with the drinking to do a podcast. To do a podcast. Yeah. If we didn't do Kenny, I think we would have done it on Saturday.

Which was intense. Have you seen the picture she took? Just the one of me making an inappropriate gesture with my hands. Fair. With this one? Yes. The knuckle deep? Knuckle deep, baby.

We need to get more of those. I think we need to go up as a group you got stopped more than i did i actually didn't get stopped at all were they upset about the shirt or no just dumbfounded like what does that say why why are you wearing this in public? And why aren't you upset that we're looking? I should put, yeah, I should probably put like Fat Chance Podcast Summer on there. Otherwise, it literally just looks like. Yeah. Yeah. Knuckle deep.

Steven did a great job making those. There was one fourth grade teacher who was not impressed with it. She did not approve. One guy who liked it too much. I think most of the guys are either going to like it too much or try and pretend like it's bad so they look better. When the girls like it, though, you're like, see, it's all fun and games. And it honestly has nothing to do with fingering

No The best part was that I just kept forgetting that I had it on Oh I completely forgot I had it on I just thought I was wearing a white t-shirt We look like idiots I would not have wanted Any other seat in that stadium I think

No I think that was perfect Like if you're not super close You might as well nose bleeds we had our space so much space i get to dance around and flail like i do jake wasn't worried about his knee although we might as well i mean you could tell he sat by himself for a bit i haven't seen jake that energetic in a while no it was good to see until he got to the bus the bus situation well at one point he's like oh i just tore my hamstring and then he sprints after the bus i was like okay bud hamstring's looking pretty good to me yeah he was grumpy he well i think he just did

what three hours of country music and watching us lose our shit and he goes we're going to a boom boom beep beep place for the rest of the night yes jake was not a fan of country music when no but we forced it upon him and now he's a better person for it yeah i agree still the laser beam guy there were more words in one one of Kenny Chesney's songs than what we heard in the entire night at St. Bibliani's. The only words that I can remember is, Oh my God. You guys would not stop doing that. You both got way too into it.

Once one of you started, it was like a domino effect. Oh my God, damn it. That happens at most shows that i've been to really one point yeah it's like a common thing i thought it was for one artist nope i have i've only been to one of the laser beam festivals and that was big wild for my first one that's a pretty good show to go to. That was the one at Red Rocks you went to. At Red Rocks, yeah. Yeah.

See, now everything, if I see anyone anywhere else of that kind of music, I would hate it. Like, Red Rocks is such a cool venue that if I saw Big Wild at, like, The Rave here, I'm like, this is fucking stupid. I'm going to go sit in the bathroom and drink. In Denver, there's actually one of my favorite indoor venues i've ever been to it's called mission ballroom it was built like a couple years ago and it feels like an indoor red rocks it's obviously not as cool not as aesthetically pleasing like i don't catch myself just looking back at the crowd in the middle of it because i will do that at least once a show oh

yeah look up look at the sky the way the rocks are lit that was i did that once um at the big wild concert when finally everyone was i think everyone kicked in for everything kicked in for everyone else and i was they were having the time of their life and then i was like all right now is when i look because i'm in a clear space right now yeah and everyone was just like mesmerized. I was like, in my head, I'm like, half you people aren't even real to me. No. The craziest thing that I've experienced at Red Rocks was for a show,

I can't remember which one, but they were handing out 3D glasses, like, real plastic glasses, not just the cheap flimsy ones. And their visuals the whole night were like coming at you and i would just be like grabbing my hand out and being like oh put your hand down connor this is not real yeah you look to your left and your right and everyone else is doing the exact yeah thing like okay i'm with the right people i don't think i could handle that i hate 3d movies like when avatar came out like you want to see it in 3d like no i don't like when avatar came out like you want to see it in 3d like no i don't because constantly i'm looking down like this because i'm curious and impulsive like oh what would it be like if i just

didn't see it clearly and so i'd have it like half and half and then by the end i got a headache and i want to throw up i think the last movie i liked like that was spy kids but that was when i was like five movie Great movie. Yeah. I wanted, I remember asking my parents like every year for Christmas, I wanted the little spider Ralph guy. Yes, same. And they're like, we can't do that for you. The thumb people freaked me out. What's your favorite one?

My favorite one is the island. I like the island. I wanted my own little mini zoo. I wanted my own mini zoo. the island i wanted my own little mini zoo i wanted my own mini zoo i also wanted that like secret like hideaway they had where they put in like oh big mac in the microwave and two seconds later there's a big mac and fries i was like i want that spy kids was a sweet movie they were living my dream life do you not remember spy kids well i mean it's just the same movie. The 3D one was, I think, the last one, and it was like the video game themed. Did you ever watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl?

I did. I don't remember it. I think I might have. George Lopez is in that, right? Yeah, he had a big, like, giant head. Yeah, big for a while. I watched his show, George Lopez, Nick at Night. Like, oh, not alone.

I can still just, like, be in my bed going, because I used to fall asleep on the TV all the time. And just that intro music. It gets louder, and everyone's jumping on the trampoline. You wake up, and you're like, oh, not alone. That was a great show. Nick night had i think the best tv shows george lopez fresh prince i liked home improvement loved home improvement uh the nanny family matters the nanny bugged me the her voice was obnoxious obnoxious i could not do with it

but did could you do family matters urkel do you do Family Matters, Urkel? Did you ever watch that one? I didn't watch that one as much, but when I did, I liked it. He was, I mean, that's a very specific type of humor. I think it was just like, in my head, Urkel was hilarious. Like, my parents were like, he's the funniest ever. So I just was like, yes. Just told you I was funny.

Yeah. That's good. I couldn't watch it now, any of the – well, I could watch Fresh Prince now. There are still some really good episodes of that. Fresh Prince is one of my favorites. Do you know they have a remake of it? No. It's like – it's the same thing. I think Will Smith is helping produce it, but it's like same thing. I think Will Smith is helping produce it,

but it's like modern day. Do they have any of the same cast or is it just like a complete reboot type? I bet, I don't know. I bet it's like more of like an entourage thing where it's based off Marky Mark's life. So like he shows up every once in a while. I can see that,

but I think it's supposed to be be a more dramatized version of it. Okay. I don't know. Can we give it a goog over there? Can we give it a goog over there? Yes, our assistant. Fresh Prince reboot or the remake. I don't even think it's called Fresh Prince.

They did that, too, with Full full house fuller house on netflix i watched the first season of that in college and just couldn't get into it no i yeah i did too and then it was i think it was just like the nostalgia feel like when they show up because it is the entire same cast plus yeah a few extras because you're gonna need a few other people and then the same set which is cool and then when the original cast of Guys comes back, because it's about the daughters. Right. That was good.

They constantly make jokes about Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen not showing up. Classic. I remember that. Because I think she's the only one that didn't make it into that show. Yeah. Even the neighbor girl is back in it kimmy yeah she's like one of the main characters oh yeah um who i don't know pop segat died though he's no longer in that show do we know how he died i think it was head trauma yeah like he. And then it might have been like a brain bleed. Can he give it a goog? Wait, what was the answer to that?

She does not want to be the googled girl. She wanted to watch. Oh, Bel Air. Okay. Can we get the description? We hired an intern here unpaid yeah unpaid really unpaid in fact she brought us cookies so making negative money yeah love that

okay bel-air show about fresh prints uh moving on what were we talking about oh the other quote Okay, Bel Air Show about Fresh Prince Moving on What were we talking about? Oh, the other What was the goog? The other goog How Bob Saget died That bummed me out

Yeah, I don't like seeing comedians die He reminds me a lot of my dad Or at least his character in Full House Reminds me of my dad the just lanky goofy super funny family guy i think it's amazing though how different he was in real life yeah he was like it's almost dirty comic yeah do you know who bill engvall is yes we would watch the blue collar comedy yeah i forgot who i taught it might have been avery told me he goes you see Do you know who Bill Engvall is? Yes. We would watch the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. I forgot who I talked to.

It might have been Avery told me. You see him live, he's like dirty. Which is shocking because all that stuff was so clean. Yeah. In my head, he's like Jeff Foxworthy, pretty clean jokes. He had to for that tour. I think Ron was the only one that was allowed to do a little bit different stuff. I think he's gonna ron white's gonna do one more special and he's done he's getting up there yeah he doesn't drink anymore do you know i think i heard you say that on this

yeah somebody else that shocked me i thought he was just gonna go down with a blaze of glory just never change or he's gonna be that guy that just like is a picture perfect like bill of health but smokes and drinks like a chimney yeah it's not good for you no i mean it's fun for you we did plenty of this is the most i've drank in a week since college yeah i was not ready for that i didn't you know you know, throw up. No. Didn't Irish goodbye at all. I was very disciplined. No, the only thing, we almost all said goodbye, though, when the shooting happened. But other than that, that would have been an Irish goodbye to the world.

Yeah, that is not a good feeling when you just see people running towards you and you're at the open window at a bar like, hmm. Everyone get down. I remember you just went like this. She's sliding down the brick wall, and I'm like, where is it? Oh, yeah, you would have been the first to go. I was in the bathroom, then I came back for the second round of running, and then I just kind of like peeked out the window like, I think we're fine. Because I didn't hear any shots.'s what was confusing no well we're also in a loud bar the music's

playing there's people talking and then everyone's screaming outside that was bad when um we both thought like oh is there another shooting going on at the bar yesterday? When everyone got up. They were just moving to a different TV. Yeah. But that's when you know that there's a problem here. When people all got up to move to a different TV, and I thought people were hitting the ground.

Like I did like a quick jolt. Did you, either of you ever have to do like trainings in school you had school shooting training oh my gosh in Colorado that's like oh you practice it every year yeah yeah and so I knew exactly like you get into this corner so anything like that it's in my mind just way back there when did you do it oh god yeah by the time by the time we were out i think my sophomore year we had like two bomb threats and a bolt in the hallway yeah i remember i remember there's a span of a week and i remember coming to school on a tuesday or monday the school got canceled and there were metal detectors I got flagged because there was a fork in my backpack like what are you doing with

this I'm like probably eating but I was like you can keep it I don't need the fork I don't know why there was a fork in my backpack I don't think we ever had metal detectors in school. We had it for a day. Like, oh. Like, you stopped a gun. We would have, like, dog canine units come in. Oh, we did that once a year. Pretty often. A lot of kids would get busted with, like, weed and other stuff in their lockers.

Once a year, people got caught with stuff in their... They would search our cars. So they'd go into the parking lot. And, like, people... You'd see... I had, like, people in my class just like uh kevin can you please come to the office and you know what it's for because they lock the doors they're like we're like why are you locking the doors mrs johnson like they're searching your lockers and you just look at the stoners start to sweat

they're like fuck i forgot to take out of my car i remember one time i had come back from hunting with my dad and i had my shotgun still in the back of my car forgot and they were doing a check and i just left school i was like oh shit i'm gonna be in so much trouble i was like hyperventilating crying my mom had to like call me out call me down she was like you did the right thing you're fine i was so stressed yeah and i think at the end of that you wouldn't have been in trouble but yeah because i mean i don't know what the law is with you having a gun without as long as if it was in a case and had like a gun lock on it or like a trigger lock on it i don't think it had any locks but it was in the case, unloaded, whatever. Just, yeah, completely.

Do you use trigger locks for your guns? I don't. No. We have a gun safe. We have them on ours. I don't even have a gun safe. Yeah. Be cool to have a gun safe.

Those are expensive. They are. They look so sweet, though. Maybe we should put that as a decoration here and just have, that'd be a cool, like, bar cart is a gun safe. as a decoration here and just have... That'd be cool. Like, bar cart is a gun safe. You open it up and everything's... I like that a lot.

I think I know my next little project. How much are gun safes? Can we give it a gook? Those are expensive. I'm pretty sure the... Give it a gook t-shirts. Give it a gook? Give it a gook.

Sponsor this podcast. Google, yeah. Sponsor this podcast. We'll be moving out of this. You need it. We'll be moving out of this you need it we yeah we would be moving out of this apartment asap if google sponsors this show we are sponsored by bounty though if you look to my left we have so much paper towel until i've heard how much our gun saves that's an expensive bar cart.

Yeah, it's probably not worth it. But that'd be so cool. I wonder if you could just, like, paint a wooden cabinet to look like one, and then you could even buy some, like, metal stuff on the top. I'd want one that has, like, that spin wheel, though. Yes. Like, it would be, like, my own mini Lucille's. Yeah. Yes.

It'd be my own mini Lucille's. Put it right there or right there. I just get rid of Jake's janky one. It's nice, but it's going to fall apart. That top drawer doesn't function. You were struggling with it earlier. It locks up a lot.

What is that thing on the bottom there? I don't know. We have a lot of stuff though. That's how I know we're getting older is none of the booze there is, like, the cheap plastic bottles. It's, like, weird experience. We have blackberry, raspberry gin, cucumber vodka, botanicals gin, which we finished this week, simple syrups, and agaves.

I have a lot of, like, single malt whiskeys that like people have given me as gifts raha got me a super nice bottle from like a distillery in colorado that i it's probably my favorite right now wait my mom has bottles of whiskey for me at her place that she went to kentucky to like on a bourbon tour and she's just like do you guys want it she just comes back with Bob I'm like you don't drink bourbon she goes you might like it I'm like I don't live with you what does your mom's go-to drink wine wine yeah too yeah it's simple I but wine I feel like you have you can have like just casually throughout the week if I just started randomly sipping on bourbon throughout the week, you guys would be checking up on me.

Yeah. Like, what are you doing? Just having my three glasses of bourbon before bed? I was in a phase of when I was working at the court and just tough cases all the time. It was, yep, get back home, two fingers. Two fingers isn't bad i think isn't a little alcohol kind of healthy for you a day we have a nurse so we don't need to give that one we don't

even need to give that one an ask um what's the most no because we don't have a microphone on you otherwise we should have set one up. You'll be on next week. Maybe. Stick your tongue out at me one more time. No. What was I going to say? What were we talking about? Drinks.

Drinks of choice. Have you had wine in a cigar? No. Wine pairs really well. I believe it. Dryer, like cab. Yeah. A little fruity, heavy. I don't well. Like a dryer, like cab. Yeah. A little fruity, heavy.

I don't know. I did it for the first time with my stepdad for his birthday. I'm not a wine fan just because it gives me headaches and my stomach hurts. Like, do you remember I told her about this, but the first wine night we had, I was down there for 45 minutes before I was curled up in a ball in my room because my stomach just was like, you don't like this. I also probably drank an absurd amount in 45 minutes. My first wine night experience, I ended up looking like Sully from Monsters, Inc. I was wearing a blue shirt and there were just splotches of red all over me.

wearing a blue shirt and there were just splotches of red all over me. I remember being back in the dorms trying to scrub my shirt at like 3 a.m. My RA walks in, just turned around like, nope, I'm not dealing with this kid at all. Those weren't like wild nights for, because I never really participated in them. I don't know why. Well, I know why after the first one. I'm like like this sucks um i think i did one but i would come down for a bit and we would do 1v1 whatever games which was disgusting yeah 1v1 flip cup is not how you're supposed to play but it's a fun way to play i think you have you beat me most of the time but it would honestly start i remember starting doing it by myself

and then you're like you look like you need a buddy and then it just didn't look much better with two people instead of one because one person i can just pretend like i'm drinking by myself but if it's two people like you guys are actually playing one v one flip cup yeah we weren't there to make any friends. No. Just quickly down a box of Franzia, go curl up in a ball in your bed and try not to die. I fell asleep between the two mattresses in the loft.

Like my feet were on Moore's bed and my head was on mine. And I'm like, I hope I don't have to go to the hospital. I just knew I was in trouble if people started carrying the bags around. Slap was in trouble if people started carrying the bags around like slap the bag if they started carrying the bags around when when there were multiple bags just be hey slap it you turn out slap this one i'll slap that one i'm like well i would get competitive with myself and be like i'm going for my new record oh yeah all the time can i go all the time it was disgusting bad choice dude how weren't we fatter like i was fat we all were

but like how were we not 250 plus i think honestly the best thing for me is how much i walked in madison yeah we did that was a pretty long campus i would walk up bascom hill every day never took the 80 or any of the buses you had to walk for groceries never had cars i think that's truly what saved me because that sucked when we lived in the house and needed to get in the summer getting groceries was the absolute fucking worst carrying Carrying that from fresh. Was that fresh, right? Yeah. To the house. I mean, that's a good.

No, that's why I brought my car. Yeah. And had it there for a little while. And then we could go to like festival and some of those grocery stores. Festival is nice. That made a big difference. I fresh market. I mean, you pay for the convenience for that.

Like that place was expensive as shit They did do like The free delivery and stuff though That I took advantage of Yeah For a while Our junior year You had to order what

Like over Over $50 Yeah Cause otherwise I could only Carry so much Without the bag Ripping on me

Or my shoulders Getting wobbly On the way Tags Tags should have bought out Part of That basement Or rent out another space And put like ripping on me or my shoulders getting wobbly on the way should have bought out part of that basement or rent out another space and put like some produce down there do i think it would have been fresh absolutely not but i would have gotten so many groceries from them yeah we might have

been some of tag's best customers that summer our laundry was in their back room those washer and dryers were the worst i will never forget walking out with damp clothes because the dryers were broken it was on the way in between my clothes literally like froze oh yeah solid because it was so cold out the first day we used those machines i opened the the wash machine and i was like standing water like nothing drained ever and i go this is gonna take a while to dry try drying them still stripping with water we had my laundry your laundry zim's laundry pape's laundry jc's laundry uh conley's laundry mccarthy's laundry on our balcony balcony and we had the blue tarp from the bar that we just put on the ground like hey just throw your clothes on here and hang them off the railings it looked

like we ran a laundry service at our place the first week it was disgusting and then we played washer roulette the rest of the year and so so if someone went down, we're like, hey, this one works. We're like, right one. Like, right when you walk in, all the way to the right, use that one. Don't use a different one. I remember some guys having to go all the way to, like, Duncan and Fanning. Oh, yeah. Their house because they were the only people with function.

Zim and Pape would do that. Yeah. And it was getting expensive. They, like, upped the prices, I think, halfway through the year. $250 to. Yeah, it was gross. Yeah. And it was getting expensive. They, like, upped the prices, I think, halfway through the year. $250 to... Yeah, it was gross. Yeah. I remember scrounging up quarters.

I would... I'm such a cheap ass. While we were working at the bar, when I was barbacking, I would just pick up quarters on the ground, save them. I was like, these are laundry quarters. Oh, yeah. I took quarters. Every time they were on,

uh, people pay with quarters. I'd either put them in my pocket right away or the piles that were on the computers. I would just take all of them because like building one, Bill probably wanted them. So long. I think that might be a 10 second and to laundry.

I mean, that is insane. How long that is. How much do you think the person who made that got paid? I don't know, but that would be a sweet job. Just be a laundry machine. Jingle rider.

I don't currently have a job. So that might be what I'm going for. That would be a... How do you apply for that? How does that job come up? Well, like, if you are making these laundry machines, you're like, hey, we should have a jingle for this. Do you think they pay someone to make one,

or is it like, let's just go find a stock one? Who makes a stock one? I don't know, or just like, let's just go find a stock one? Who makes a stock one? I don't know, but like that's already paid for. Like if you, I don't know. I don't fucking know. How do you make jingles for laundry machines? I don't know. Most of them are just a chime.

That one is a full song. That is a full song. Yeah. And it's like, like you said, you think you, it ends three times. Like there are three. Honestly, it has two choruses. Two letting me know it's finally dry, which I need to take out. And you still forgot to switch the stuff yesterday.

Yeah, but it didn't smell because it was only like it wasn't terrible. And they dried and they didn't smell bad here. Plus, we use them to clean up food. As long as they don't reek like food, they're clean. I think. Yeah. I think you're fine. By the way, is it like really warm outside or is it like perfect, perfect?

It's perfect. What fun activity can we do outside because your shoulder hurts? Do you want to just do like wind sprints or something that's not what i would call a fun activity no absolutely not i think running is the worst thing you can do you both like to run yeah i like running sprinting is different i think it's gross sprinting like will get my asthma going like basketball i love to play it but whatever like the super start and stop just gives me like that wheezy like barely breathe last or this friday that stuff that's when i know i need to up my cardio because i'm like we rolled for a minute and a half and some of the times we didn't

even make it to the minute and a half like he's got 10 seconds left just let him rest it out and i was like i think might pass out it's a different kind of cardio like running distance controlled where like your heart rate's in a manageable spot is one thing but when you're just trying to beat up your friend kill each other and yeah you're getting choked out yeah it was worth it i think that was good for our relationship we needed to do that it was great i think it yeah it was worth it i think that was good for our relationship we needed to do that it was great i think it yeah it was i'm surprised it hasn't happened before but is avery not like a psychopath yeah the second i got onto the mat with him and looked into his eyes he's like maybe i don't want to go against him is there somebody smaller less experienced me perfect

we did one round of the six we were supposed to like can we hit the bag please oh man no he was when he was showing you how to get in that pin and my shoulders just went the wrong way as i do not want to do that again. Yeah, that was... And then kicking... I've never kicked a bag. I only hit the mitts when he had them on. That, my shin, it felt like it was... I mean, it's still tender right here,

but it's a combination between, like, I think something's going to snap, and I have sunburn. Mine's not bad. It's only, like, tender right right here before it's on the top of my foot when i kicked wrong oh yeah you probably broke it yeah there's a good chance you got a week off rest up i got nowhere to be this coffee is like hit me i don't really have two cups this early in the morning i'm like wired but But like tired wired.

That make sense? No. Like I feel like I need to lay down so I don't pass out. That sounds like another health condition. Yeah. Not just being tired. I think I'm tired. I'm halfway through my life expectancy, so. 52.

I think 52 would be a good life. I think by the time I got to 52, I'd be like, I'm way too young to die. I really hope you don't die that early. That would be sad. It'd be so sad. I'd have like four people miss me. I'm not one of them. I know. I think it'd be my mom, my dad, and maybe

two others. My brothers would be like,, my dad, and maybe like two others. My brothers would be like, all right, one of us can step into the favorite child spot now. That's right, Andrew. You think you're the favorite? Hands down, I'm the favorite. No, I'm not the favorite. I'm just in the middle. So, Andrew is mama's boy, her baby.

Do whatever for him. Steven and my dad are very similar in their interests so like i think they get along the best and i'm pretty much down the middle like i look like my dad i get my temper from my dad my sense of humor is from my mom sense of adventures from my mom um i tend to argue with both of them sometimes. I don't know. Andrew and my dad fight the most. Steven and my mom fight the most. I'm the peacemaker.

I am the glue that keeps... The glue. My sister always says that. She's the glue. Her and my stepbrother, they call themselves the glue. Yeah, no, I'm definitely not the glue. I might be a third parent to like andrew but other than that i used to be the favorite when i was little and then who's the second round of siblings came and gosh they're like fuck you guys i think my older sister is probably everybody's favorite

she's the best she's yeah she's the best communicator i'll go weeks without talking to my parents and get a text like uh do you want to know if you're alive? Yeah, I get that a lot, too. Checking in. I mean, what was it, two, three years ago when you first know you were still living at home and about to start law school, I believe. And about to start law school, I believe. And I surprised you by coming down with Zim for 4th of July. My mom texts me as I landed in Denver. She goes, I see you're in Denver. Thanks for letting us know.

It was more like, hey. Were you living with her at the time, too? No, I was in Miami. So I lived in Miami, came home, said hi, went to Minnesota, drove to Minnesota, and then Zim's like, I'm going to Denver. I'm like, that'd be fun. He goes, you should go. And I looked at flights hammered on a dock in Minnesota, and I was like, it's $116.

Bye. And then Zim and I woke up 45 minutes before the flight, and we're like, oh, shit. Skipped an entire security line, and I mean like maybe 200 people. We just walked to the front and went in. They're like, who they're like who are you guys like we need to get to our flight got to denver and my mom's like just out of curiosity are you in colorado right now i go yeah okay just making sure yeah i remember going to the airport and sam sends me a text he goes we landed he's like who is we like is he talking about his split personality so then michael walks

out like oh yeah i think you're like uh i didn't know michael was coming yeah i had to tell my parents we were staying at my parents i was like um so we got an extra guest hope you don't mind which it wasn't a big deal at all this is michael i did not choose amazon the amount of calls and just spam calls i get are absurd the insurance one is so annoying now i fucked up doing that there is a man named davey george i don't know who this man is but he puts my phone number down on everything the amount of times i've gotten different calls looking for davey george and he sounds like a pirate i know like who is messing with me our baby george he uh holy shit this game got out of hand no i put my i was telling you earlier i put my number down because i need to get health insurance now because i'm an adult no i'm not um and they're like to get a quote for insurance and

i have no fucking clue what I'm doing, but I have a client who's like, just go here, and I put my number down last Thursday, and in the span of me putting my number in and me finishing up with him as a client was an hour, I had 32 phone calls, and I'm like, this is my call, and they would wait a few seconds

i'm like hello it's the same thing and then they're like um this is blah blah blah with whatever insurance i hear so you're looking for insurance i'm like i'm not like did you fill out this questionnaire i'm like no i did not um i did but uh like so you're not looking for insurance i'm like not from you he goes but so how can I help you go what part of I don't want to talk to you do you not fucking understand it's so tough and then they keep going and finally one guy answered I was sick of him I was like just sick of getting these phone calls he's like hi are you looking for insurance and I'm like no I'm not he goes is this Michael Cusky I go no it's not he goes so you didn't fill out information for insurance i go no i did not

he goes what would you be looking for i'm like and i stopped like if even if i was michael and i did fill this out what part of what i just said makes it seem like i want to fucking talk to you and he goes all right fine man i'll hang up i was like exactly thank you like i'm an asshole to these people and they're doing their jobs but i don. Like, I did not ask to be called. Yeah. I'm very thankful I've never had a cold calling job because I'm sure you just get shit on all day. I did it once for three days and quit. Oh, yeah.

Is that the? The sales job. Yes. Day one, he's like, three of my friends committed suicide, so we do this every week now or every year now. I'm like, thanks, man. I feel like you're the common denominator. Can I please get out of this car now? That was a weird, awkward situation.

He was so confident in his sales ability, so confident. And I watched him strike out like seven times in three days. He goes, usually it takes me three you know like three max and i'll have a sale and in the first week of training he's basically said if we sell anything you can have 50 of the commission which was 500 for what is 50 of it you sell one thing you get a grant so i'm like this would be great i guess so one thing a week and it's such a livable wage yeah what i want to do. Um, now I have to cold call hundreds of people, uh,

week. And he goes, take me three. We could probably sell like three or four of these. You could walk out of here with like two grand this week. I'm like, fuck. Yeah.

He goes, you just need to book the appointments. So I booked all these appointments and he would go to try and sell these places. And he goes, you need to stick to the script, man. I'm like like i don't think you really need to stick to the script all the time dude brought a binder this fucking thick he's like we're gonna go through his entire binder and then i'll show you the prices i go you lost them immediately already no one wants to read a binder no that's an immediate box checked. I'm just not paying attention anymore. And then his personality wouldn't change from psychopathic, narcissistic.

What were you selling again? Was it advertisements at grocery stores? I was told it was called, I won't say the name of the company. If we go to a grocery store, I bet you I can show you. If we went to Metro today, I'd show you the logo. It rhymes with Schminder Media. And they were like, I didn't even know I applied to this job. They called me and they're like, do you want the job?

I was like, sure. And what caught my attention, like you make a grand per sale 100 commission job I'm like a grand sell one a week easy like you're gonna sell media to small businesses um or like grocery stores I thought that like when they said grocery stores, like that was an example of where I would sell media. I get into this stranger's car day one and he goes, so your job is we're going to sell advertisement space on grocery carts, um, to areas. So the people like their advertisements that are on the handles.

Yeah. I know. And then the advertisers that are on the front of grocery carts which i've never paid attention never pay attention to um you just know they're there you're gonna sell that space and so i would have to cold call everyone um like in those areas like hey do you want to spend this much money so you can advertise for this many months and they're like no um but like the prospecting was the worst fucking thing because we were going to like no like bolt you ever go to like church it's been probably years i just go on like the holidays you get like i don't even do that anymore but like the church bulletins or

whatever and they'd have a bunch of like advertisements everywhere they're like call those companies because clearly they're trying to advertise i'm like they bought a half inch by half inch square on a church bulletin i don't think they're gonna buy a one foot by one foot thing on a grocery cart um but i he goes sometimes the churches won't give you anything if you're not a part of the church. So you need to lie. I'm like, for one, I haven't been into church in a while. And I don't think I should lie. Provided all this is real, I'm going straight to hell. I mean, he goes, just lie. Say you and your fiance just moved to the area.

And you're looking to join a church and find a happy, loving community. I'm like, what part of my face says happy loving community um so it was a you would not have done well in that job for very long no if you had maybe your own independence i think you could have sold yeah and like once he left i could have made it my own for sure but i also don't like selling something that I don't believe in either. So I'm like, this isn't going to help your company. This helps me. And that's why I think sales jobs, they have the number one, I can't figure out the right way to say this, but like the most like narcissistic people do that. They're like really good at being just assholes.

What benefits them they can thrive in. Right. Like most psychopaths work in sales. I feel like they should sell more advertisements at urinals. Yeah. Dude, did you see I don't know what country it is but somewhere, it might be Japan

or something, they put a fly on men's urinals, like a picture of a fly, like tiny little fly in the back of a men's urinal. Like the optimal space to aim your stream because guys will naturally try and piss it off. Oh, yeah. And it reduced the amount of cleanup costs in bathrooms because of it. That is genius. Yeah. I would absolutely be trying to pee on the fly. Exactly.

You know, if you know what a cool urinal would be, imagine you could have, like, a screen in the back of the urinal. And play a game? Like, you could, like like piss away certain things um like brick breaker just with your piss or you have like an advertisement but it's like that dvd thing that bounces around so you just try and follow it but then you're staring at that advertisement forever so make it like exactly you're in a stadium make it like miller light so you're pissing on miller light but you're like i'm gonna go get a Miller Lite after this Cause I just drained myself of Miller Lite

That would work on me I think that's a genius idea I would definitely sell urinal space Or make the urinal cakes Like hey You know those like soaps Or whatever The more you use it

And it has like a little critter on the inside Make the urinal cake clear The more you pee on it It gets to like a little toy And if you're crazy make the urinal cake clear. The more you pee on it, it gets to like a little toy. And if you're crazy enough, you can have the toy. I'm in. Yeah, this is a great idea. I think that's our next million dollar idea.

You get the cool ones that like change colors, like the cups. Exactly. Mountains are blue. How warm is your pee? How dehydrated are you? I'm curious. I would definitely want to know or yeah you you pass into it at the end it pops up it says you need x amount more beers mixing a water

head to the tito stand he gives you a coupon because you're not drunk enough like here's 50 cents off you're not your next tito's here's 50 cents off your next Tito's mixer. Dude, we could make millions in the bathroom game. Definitely. Is there a market for that? Can we give it a goog? I'm just kidding. I don't know what you would google for that. No one steal our ideas. Copyright.

Trademark. That's how those work It is I don't even know if that's what you need Patent Patent's the hardest to get Well we have a lawyer Yeah

In a couple months In a couple months yeah Yep I think between the three of us A a nurse, a lawyer, comedian. We just sound like the start of our own joke. We can make a really healthy, legal, funny product. That sounds like a lot of contradictions. No.

Healthy, funny, legal. It does not sound like it's going to be fun. No, like we make sure when we pee on the urinal cake, it doesn't dispose of any chemicals that are going to cause cancer or something. You make sure we don't get sued by another urinal cake company, and we'll put my face on it. Perfect. I would definitely pee on you.

Oh, my God, yeah. That would be so fun. Fat Chance Urinal Cakes? Yes. Steven, get to work. Fat Chance, you missed the toilet. That might be one of the best dumb ideas we've come up with on here. Like, that's an actual, I think, reasonable thing you could do.

Yeah. That just shocks me that it's not more common do you know how expensive like a digital screen urinal would be though yeah it's probably not gonna be in that one would be tough it's but what if there was like a sensor in the back and the screen was above it yeah or where you just get like a little laser or or hear me out on this one it's like a like one of those Mario Party games kind of thing where you have to trace the outline okay so you could either have it like a line in the back and you people you just try and trace it and then at the end of thing pops up and

you're like you got 98% of it or it just has sensors in the back and you try and trace it, and then at the end, a thing pops up, and you're like, you got 98% of it. Or it just has sensors in the back, and you try and draw a picture, and it's like, this is what you actually drew. I would spend too much time in the bathroom. Oh, I would drink so much just to pee again. What? What? No. I'm fucking pissed. I'm done. I'm fucking pissed.

I'm done. I'm done. It is so hard to have original ideas. Wait. Prosecco. No one wants Prosecco. We'll beat them with that. What's the name of this company?

Wired? Wired? Isn't that like a... Hanging Wire? that's a pretty good name captive media hit us up if you don't fuck you uh if you don't chew big red oh we got a u.s we can bring it to the states yeah yeah it's better be like the kingsman of urinals exactly oh we we're gonna do this that's what screw the butter company i want to do we're doing urinals please un like explain the butter company to me because it's a terrible to me there is one butter and it's just butter it is no i just think it'd be for me it'd be fun um and it'd be all about

marketing because so many people can do it but compound butter is basically just you take normal butter and you mix a bunch of stuff in it and so it's like the way to describe it is you ever have like basically compound seasoning so if you did like uh people just have like pre-made rubs so you can go to costco like oh this is garlic chicken herb seasoning instead of just them individual okay so like it would be like a good farmer's market thing if you like had the right packaging and it was efficient enough you do like all right you have homemade like fresh term you just get heavy whipping cream and you just beat the shit out of it till it becomes butter and then you have fresh buttermilk as well and then you add whatever you want to it so like you do garlic and herbs so garlic salt pepper parsley and that's your

garlic and herb butter it was great on steaks fish chicken you do brown sugar bourbon or honey chipotle or you could do dill and stuff like that but you have just multiple different butters for different things and so like i did a like a honey chipotle butter made it once and it was i put it on green beans and andrew's like i'd eat these every single day that sounds good yeah all right and it's like and it's easy and then in my head because i'm dumb. And it's easy. And then, in my head, because I'm dumb confident, like it's a blind confidence for sure, but it would work out so well, and then I would name the company Compound.

Again, no one take my copyright trademark. That's how it works. Name it Compound because it's compound butters. Someone fucking takes his home um if it's wired again i'll kill him but and then i would do so well then i'd go and build like a compound in like the mountain lake air like probably denver and i'd have just a house And I'd have just a house and be nice, nice kitchen. But I want like a pole barn, driveway all the way through it, big door, man toys.

And then it's two stories. And I want like podcast studio, kitchen, and do like games there, like bar, all that stuff. That's basically my dream house. I love the pole barn. I don't give a flying fuck about my house. I want to build my own pole barn. Yeah. My significant other can do the house for the most part. I will veto the kitchen again.

And I want to design a giant pole barn. I think. But I mean huge where like the middle is like just cement. So I could just pull in. I could park like four cars my dream is to have my own plane own plane be able that's hers she wants to fly her own plane we should hang out yeah i totally fly on i'm i think in august i'm gonna take classes to get my pilot's license i'm gonna do my motorcycle license first this summer. Yeah.

I need to do that now that I lost my ID. It's perfect time. I just am afraid to tell my parents. My mom's not going to like that idea. Losing your ID or flying a plane? Motorcycle more. I think they'd be okay with the plane. I've always wanted to do that.

Yeah. I think it'd be cool. It'd scare the shit out of me. I'd rather just have a friend that can fly. Like, Alec was on here. Yeah. That was such a fun conversation for me because someone was doing something. So interesting. you're the show i'd rather just have a friend that can fly like alec was on here yeah that was such a fun conversation for me because it was someone it was doing so interesting yeah but he i was like hey we're going to north carolina a few times um he just needs to re-up yeah once like he gets current it also helps him because you can fly your buddies around split the costs exactly and then it helps

him keep his hours up to date yeah it'd be so fun it would take a little longer because it's not you're not going as fast but i would do an hour extra travel just to not spend five hundred dollars on flights it's disgusting right now to fly and to be able to have some control over your flight plan when you want to leave. Literally leave whenever. You can avoid weather and stuff like that. Have a pretty nice ride. You're not just stuck with, oh, it's turbulent today. Yeah, that'd be fun.

But I want to do motorcycle first. Get it and then maybe just have days where I rent a bike or something. But eventually start. One of my clients is really big into motorcycles. Alec is really big into it. And he's moving down here with my old neighbor, Jake. And he's got Jake into him. So they can help me find one.

Or I can buy Jake's because he's selling his. They are more expensive than I thought, to be honest. Yeah, but to have one. Would you do Harley? No, I would, to be honest. But to have one. Would you do a Harley? No, I would do a sport bike. Yeah. Harley, to me, is an older person bike. I would probably do a sport bike first or an Indian.

I like the Indian bikes. I want like an old Indiana Jones, James Bond kind of motorcycle. Like James Dean is basically what I want to be. Exactly. It would be so fun. But those like sport bike, I would be fine wearing a helmet. In Indiana, I'd be like, I can't wear a helmet. It just doesn't fit the look.

That's fair. I can see that. And I feel like if I wore a sport bike helmet. Especially the newer modern helmets. If I wore a sport bike helmet. Especially the newer modern helmets. If I wore a sport bike helmet on a Harley, I'd be like, you look like a jackass. Yeah. You either got to have that, like, half eggshell that makes it look like you're wearing it because you need to. I hate those helmets.

I fucking hate those. I hate those helmets. I fucking hate those. I had the worst, most embarrassing helmet when I first tried to get into skateboarding. My mom just bought me a bike helmet. Yeah. I was like, Mom, I am going to get picked on. It's got the visor on the front. Yes.

Oh, so cringy. I hated those. I never wore a helmet riding a bike when I was younger Never I never really fell though No What's your worst like Accident as a kid

On that stuff I didn't have a lot of bad accidents Doing that kind of stuff when I was younger I had a scooter accident When I was in high school. We were on like little razor scooters. Oh, the razor ones? The ankle breakers?

Grant just has this super long road that is in that gated community, so you could just bomb it. Yeah. And I was like six, whatever, on a tiny little scooter getting the speed wobbles. And so I went to break and I was going so fast that the back tire melted. And so it was just a square.

And I flipped over the handlebars, slid like 30 yards on the road. My pants and my sweatshirt melted into my body. It was the nastiest road rash. That's disgusting. And all my friends were just making fun of me like, yeah, you shouldn't have braked. That was the sympathy I had. Yeah, it was in high school. Damn.

They were nuts. That family would put each other in tires and roll each other down the hill. Part of me wishes I had done that because then you're really afraid of nothing growing up or, like, as you get older. I was a little bit more timid always, more reserved. I was too, but also looking back, I think if I told people some of the stuff we did, we were more, like, stupid. Like, you're either timid to do dangerous stuff or, like, stuff you know is, like,

parents aren't going to like this. I think we did more of that. I was the kid who would just, like, go off into tempted to do dangerous stuff or, like, stuff you know is, like, parents aren't going to like this. I think we did more of that. I was the kid who would just, like, go off into the woods and build stuff by himself. Like, I was always outside, but not a big action sports. We did airsoft. Like, people were like, you willingly shot people with guns. I was like, yeah. Oh, my gosh.

Absolutely. Like, we had a game with our neighbor, Matt. Like, Joel. You know Joel. Yeah. Joel had a game with our neighbor, Matt. Like, Joel. You know Joel. Yeah. Joel had this super nice sniper. And we would look at Matt and we'd be like, we wouldn't even like, hey, do you want to do this? Run.

We'd go, Matt, you have 10 seconds. Just out of nowhere. Like, you have 10 seconds. He goes, what? And then Joel would just start loading his gun. And my backyard, like that field or whatever. The house. Yeah.

He would just be doing zigzags and we'd take turns shooting at him. Like, this is so dumb. And then I'd have the CO2. Did he ever get a chance to shoot? No. That's not fair. That's so fair. That's what you get for being the older ones.

I've lived longer. I once made Matt laugh so hard he threw up in his mouth. No, in his hands he i don't know what it was and he just he threw up and he looked at me he goes what do i do with it i'm like dump it out just like take the street that was matt's an interesting character um he was on the podcast he had the viking, the one with the pocket skittles. Yes, pocket skittles. Yeah.

That guy's insane. Raised by wolves. That whole family is nuts. Gosh, that Airsoft conversation reminds me of my shooting incident in college. Oh, my God. I still have the scar. Yeah. There's just four perfect dots.

Essentially, I moved out of the fraternity house, and I went into some of our friends' apartments who were going abroad. It was significantly cheaper, probably $500 cheaper. And I had, like, the Island of Misfit Toys apartment. I mean, there was, I think, the number one drug dealer in Madison who dealt to the number two drug dealer in Madison who also lived in the apartment. A foreign exchange student from India,

and then me and Weintraub. And the number one drug dealer had an airsoft gun, a CO2 gun, for those who don't understand. It's way more airsoft gun, a CO2 gun. For those who don't understand, it's way more powerful. That was a pellet gun. That was not just airsoft. Was it a pellet gun? Yeah.

Okay, so we had a pellet gun, and Connor was drunk, and I was like, shoot me. And he shot him three times in the and that was what six years ago yeah still that's a legit scar oh yeah i yeah i remember he shot me the first time and i just looked at it didn't feel it and then i turned around and he shot me in the back that one healed. But that's when I was like, okay, that was a cheap shot. The leg I asked for. The back was a bit much.

Do you know he's selling real estate now? Ah. Like complete 180. That's a good step up from weed. Complete 180. He could still be selling weed. I don't know. But at all times, we had a pound of weed in that apartment.

I remember when I was just given the biggest bag I've ever seen in my life, and he said, this is for free just because I like you. I was like, I'm good. I don't want this. I don't know what to do with this. Same for me. Like, a week in, he goes, do you want this? He goes, yeah, it's kind of old.

It just sat on my dresser. I'm like, I don't know how to smoke this. No. Because I've never bought. What are you doing? I've never bought weed in my life. No. I've done it legally when I moved to Colorado again, but never.

Drugs? No. Never bought them. I was always giving them. I'm such a goody two-shoes. The thought of even texting a drug dealer scares the crap out of me. I wouldn't even know about it. If someone asked me right now, hey, Michael, can you go get us weed?

I don't know how to go about doing that right now. Would you Google it? I would give it a go. Give it a go. I'd give it a go. Yeah, I literally don't know. Do you just meet a drug dealer? I mean, I did, but I lived with two of them.

Have you heard? Cammy? John Mulaney's bit about being like turning an innocent guy into a drug dealer no when he was on SNL he was talking about it and the guy was like yeah I didn't even sell drugs before this you just kept asking me for them so I picked some up because I was worried about you getting dangerous stuff i was like wait what that's a fun way i uh did you know how i told you how i met um a man a man as known as my roommate my dad moving me in and the man was counter like splitting up the pound of weed on a table like this like our coffee table and he just looked at us oh didn't know we were moving in today i was

like yeah he goes should i put this away i go i mean we know you have it now i don't think and the smell of it when you would walk into that apartment like there was no reason to hide i got so used to it that the first night i went, so quickly, the first night I went out, I remember getting asked by upwards of 10 people, and being like, hey, man, did you smoke before you came here? Because I was not known as a smoker at all. And, like, did you smoke before you came here? I'm like, no.

I'm shit sober right now. Like, dude, you reek. Reek. My clothes, everything. My mom hated when she visited there. Yeah, your mom complained about that a lot, which is fair. Freak. My clothes, everything. My mom hated when she visited there. Yeah, your mom complained about that a lot, which is fair. Yeah. Like, a parent, you do not want your kid just living where their clothes smell like weed

cologne. Weed all the time. And so, like, I learned to just keep my door closed a lot of the time. And then he just kind of, like, stopped smoking in the house or in the apartment. He'd go under the balcony. You had the balcony. Yeah. Yeah. I liked the apartment. He'd go on the balcony. Yeah. Yeah.

I like that apartment. That was nice. That was a really cool apartment. That was the nicest apartment I lived in in terms of like quality. Favorite apartment? Yellow House, hands down. Same. Yeah.

I mean, the most disgusting one I lived in. Our beds, we could have held hands every night to go to sleep. I've said it so many times. Connor, if you rolled fast enough, you could have held hands every night to go to sleep. I've said it so many times. Connor, if you rolled fast enough, you could have landed on my bed. The gap. I'm not kidding. The worst was when we would just both be too lazy to fold our clothes. And so you're sleeping on like six inches of your bed.

And you'd be like, hey, Michael. Yeah. Dude, the gap was like we had one little like i had a plastic container drawer thing i still have that my mom's garage both of our beds were touching it yeah yeah and if i would it would have been creepier if i actually got the bed frame and brought it up to the same level like we gave ourselves an extra foot of distance because i just put a mattress on the floor yeah we were gross it wasn't until that summer that i was like maybe i should get this bed situation together yeah that did you changed that room around so much paper the just blankets nailed into the wall.

It was just blankets over the windows. They're, they're decorations on, uh, dude, ours weren't great. Remember I bought like that three piece canvas of a leopard. Yeah. That was an interesting choice.

I was still really big into the flags. Yup. Like the rally towels that you get at sporting events. You had I had the Kenny Chesney flag. You had the Colorado flag and you had those little tin signs, too. Yeah, those might have been in our living room. No, we had the country music one above our night shared nightstand. Yes. Plastic drawer that you get for like four dollars when you move into a dorm but no the their decorations were zim just tacked thumb tacking his jersey tom brady t-shirt

and like a sports illustrated poster you get out of a magazine and that was it and i'm like what the fuck is this yeah that bed the most i actually i have changed around two rooms completely that room and the quad you when you left for your um your nerd camp i'm working there again this summer it's still a nerd camp but um economics for leaders, it's like high schoolers get college AP credit and I teach at it. Michael just calls it nerd camp because I was never invited or would go. But that the quad. Four guys lived in that room. And then for the summer, it was me and Connor. I'm like, I can't live in this room. The time it took me to clean that, I was like, I want this to be brand new.

I remember you walked in and you were like, what the fuck? Yeah, it was a complete 180. I mean, it went from as clean as this apartment was like the final product. It would probably look like, dude, it was disgusting. I mopped the floor three times. When you're just hosting A-bars and everything else every week, don't have any cleaning utensils and three guys who are all kind of grumpy at each other. That was a tough roommate situation.

Oh, yeah. But I think it was we needed that for the summer. It was clean. I felt like we could. And then the A- bars were fun in there we had the the hockey goal and we're playing that that was so fun that was a good drunk game we had a first ever podcast in that room we don't need to bring that up it's on my phone that was yeah i am not impressed with my maturity or anything that I said during that first podcast. I think if anyone was to get in trouble from that podcast, it is Slim, Slim Jim Zimmerman, because it is, I mean, necessary inventions. Not necessary.

Yeah, that was bad. What was. OK, so we're at an hour i we're gonna do one story for sure and then your question and we're kind of there when we cleaned the quad we had three mini allegedly Three mini fridges. Allegedly. Yeah. This story is allegedly. When we cleaned the car, I put three mini fridges against the wall. And one was mine, one was Connor's, one was kind of shared. Yeah. And we ended up just putting like meat in the middle one. And then stopped. I bought a thing of chicken and left it there for, I want to say, five and a half weeks on like, just in a Ziploc.

And it got to the point where we're like, someone would be like, hey, where's the beer in the fridge? Like, just don't open the middle one. Don't open the middle one. It would stink up the whole room. it would stink up the whole room. Instant stink up the whole room. So we just eventually were like,

we have to get rid of this and clean the fridge. So we just threw the chicken off the balcony, allegedly at a restaurant that rhymes with Mamba. And they hated us. Like, we had to put a flag up to keep us from throwing bottles at their building. A fraternity should not be right next to a restaurant. Bad idea. But that gave Connor an idea, allegedly.

I think you should approach it like the OJ book, if I did it. So this would have given someone who allegedly lived in maybe a fraternity house approximately near Madison, Wisconsin. Good? That was great. That what would happen

if we were to take chicken breasts and leave them for the new tenants. So allegedly, you can tell the rest. If I did it, I would have had two major concerns. Number one, the cameras. Yep. And number two, my fingerprints.

So I got buckets allegedly so we got a mop bucket and some yellow big yellow rubber gloves and i went into the bathroom just like i was filling up water clean yeah but in the bucket I had the rotting chicken in plastic baggies that we poked holes into for like a delayed stink effect. And in this like three showers, we had three showers. Standing showers. With little vents. And we just took the vent covers off of there, put chicken inside, and just waited. This was a day before we allegedly moved out of this alleged home approximately near Madison, Wisconsin.

And what else? I was like, I wanted to do something too so i maybe maybe not allegedly borrowed three tv wall mounts for our next apartment which worked out um but we were having new tenants in that building because the people who were supposed to live in that approximate building may or may not have gotten kicked off so they gave it to someone else yeah you're pissed never wanted to do any property damage put holes in walls i thought that was just we actually cleaned up the holes in the wall yes we did patch paint the amount of holes in the wall from knives throwing

so there's this one we could definitely say we did a hundred percent did this one there was a mural on the wall of camp randall and there was a a girl in the bottom corner that I was like, that looks like Timmy Bishop. I mean, it could, Timmy had like long hair. I'm like, that kind of looks like Timmy from behind. And so we would just play the game,

like who can hit Timmy. So we just took the kitchen knives from the basement and we just sit on the couch and throw them, throw knives at our wall. We'd see if we can just stick in the ceiling. They did. It was a fun game. Yeah. Yeah, it was a good time.

But we cleaned all that up. All the darts. That was great. And again, everybody just used like thumbtacks and stuff to hang things up. Yeah, we destroyed that house before and after we allegedly lived there. Yeah. up so yeah we destroyed that house before and after we allegedly lived there yeah like i heard there was a there was a group of people i mean nothing like the people lived across the street from them the next year i heard the people that lived up there would get really drunk and just

buy cartons of eggs and throw them at the building and try and get them um through the trees like that's pretty fucked up like i don't know why they did that for us can't imagine i can't imagine i'm doing that nope like well we would never never never never go through like 13 to 24 yeah steal their signs take care of like the thing that like this group of guys were just like no this was definitely sick i would just rip their sign off all the time. I mean, very nice of them to do that, but did not need to do that. We were model citizens.

I went to class every day. I don't know anything about the smell, though. Never, and that bothered the shit out of me, allegedly. It really made it not very satisfying. never and that bothered the shit out of me allegedly it really made it not very satisfying there was one day where like four plumbing trucks pulled up which i'm pretty sure might have had something to do with it but i'm sure they did an inspection or they would do an inspection if that happened um like someone otherwise someone's gonna be like dude who is destroying the bathroom every time i go in there that would be a fun blame game yeah who is not me as a rotting asshole do that show i mean can you i want to know what it smelled like because it would not have taken long

I want to know what it smelled like because it would not have taken long. No, but it did. I think that the amount of just smelly guys that like our bathroom stinks, especially when we had trash cans in the air and people just dump their food. So I bet it took a while to really pinpoint the issue. Did not. Are you sure holes in the story were holes actually poked in the bag because what if and this is a big what if they're still there i have no idea i want to so bad see if this story is true and go undo one of those.

And just if a black raw chicken. Actually, by now, it's probably cooked from the steam. The mold on one of those would be phenomenal. Or what if it's a new way to preserve meat and it's just like super fresh? It's like wet-aged. It's steam-aged chicken. That sounds disgusting. It sounds like it's got like an umami flavor.

I don't know. What's umami? I don't know. Wax on, wax off. Unagi. Unagi. Oh, my God. All right, you ready for your last question? Sure. What's your meaning of life? unagi oh my god alright you ready for your last question

sure what's your meaning of life oh my gosh I told you this last night the meaning of that's not a question people know what's your meaning of life I don't think there is a meaning to life

like my purpose in life no what do you think the meaning of life I don't think there is a meaning to life Like my purpose in life No what do you think the meaning of life is Like to you Mine's to live Simple People say Oh find your purpose They're probably all going to be relatively similar

But mine's simply I was like why am I here I'm like to live I think mine is empathy. I think that I was blessed with an ability to empathize with people, connect, hear your craziest stories, your worst pain, and have no judgment of that. And now that I've got the legal education i think that i'm actually in a good spot to turn that into helping people and my favorite client are kids i think that helping kids is what i'm here to do. Truly. Good? Yeah.

That's it. That's all I wanted. Yeah. I got nothing else. Don't clap. We're going to go get wasted. I'm just kidding. It's Monday.

I can't drink anymore. I'm dead. No. I drank more this weekend than I have in the last three months. I've been drinking since Tuesday. I took Thursday off.

Because you were in Madison, right? Yeah. I need to go back. All right, buddy. Thank you. Say bye. Say something nice about me. It's his birthday.

All right. All right.