Fat Chance Podcast - Ep.57 - Twice Baked

Episode Date: June 9, 2022

Do we make this a separate show?

All right, can I hear my voice? Yep, well, good enough. Is that going to work? Yeah, I can increase the volume. Okay. Yeah, we just speak into the thing here. We're good to go. This is so dumb.

This is going to be great. This is going to be great. My microphone is in bananas, and we are going to make mini pies. And this is the podcast. We're totally baked. We took a few edibles, and we're going to attempt baking. I don't know how to bake. Bake baking.

Bake baking. That's the name of the podcast. I think. I don't know. I'm definitely going to have to lean over. And the only thing I've got to cut is peaches, so I'll do it really quickly, and then I can hold on to everything. I want to say you completely surprised me by this today, too.

I'm happy to be here. I'm happy to do it. completely surprised me by this today too. I'm happy to be here. I'm happy to do it. But you invited me over for a podcast and then as I get here, you're like, we're going to make pies. And I'm like, oh boy. Oh geez, now I dropped it. This is a good start. How do you properly cut a peach? Like do you have to, is this like something you, because there's a pit, right? Yeah, there's a pit in the middle. Just cut it kind of like an avocado. That was so satisfying to do.

Hold on. I'm going to put the mic down while I open this. I have no idea. How do you cut them? So we're making peach and blueberry pies. Mini pies. Mini pies. Mini pies, yeah. I have the blueberries over here.

I should get a pot going probably. We can start with the blueberry one and then. Because it seems pretty easy. Should I make the, open up the crusts right now or wait? What do I do? Dude, I have no fucking clue. Okay. This is going to be bad.

We watched a TikTok video, one of those like-second TikTok videos on how to make blueberries. We watched it once, and we're like, we can make a pie. We just saw the order, and we're like, I think we can get it. I literally watched it one time. I don't know what I'm about to do. Yeah, it's going to be fun, man. So what made you decide to do a cooking podcast? Literally because Rachel was like

I think she said I want a pie today Or make me a pie And then Well, Rachel, I'm making you a pie Yeah, she'll be here probably in 40 minutes Oh, okay, cool So she can try me We got to roll it out

I don't have a roll Actually, screw it That's why I got two of them Wait, what? I don't know, dude I don't know what we're doing. Just cut circles. Cut circles.

Do you want me to put this just on the table or do you want like a thingy on it? Do you have like paper? This is going to be so much dead air. Oh, nice. Do you want me to just put it on the table? Yeah, I'm going to try and figure out how to get a peach pit out this is how you know michael's in a good relationship when he literally drops everything he's doing to make his girlfriend pies on a podcast with his friend because she wanted pies. Yeah, no, I'm a great, great boyfriend.

But I also just wanted pie. Dude, that does sound, I mean, I'm excited to do this. I have such a sweet tooth. Such a sweet tooth. I feel like I should make these closer together. How many do I do? As many as you can get out of there. So, yeah, it goes close to the edge.

get out of there so yeah it goes close to the edge and then we might not do peaches because dude how do you get this off you cut it like on the other side too like so in fours yeah and then just separate it from the pit I hope the camera's picking this up So what'd you do all day man What'd uh Um today I did You know what What does this taste like Dude peaches are good

Dude There's something about a peach Like eating a peach That makes me feel like a cowboy I don't know what it is A cowboy Yeah dude like I just fucking Get a peach like in the Georgia summer You it is. A cowboy? Yeah, dude. Like, I just fucking get a peach, like, in the Georgia summer.

You know? Yeah, dude. Fuck yeah. Like, watch this, dude. Got this hat on. That's some cowboy shit, dude. Just refreshing. You keep that one. That's... Here's the thing. It's like, I feel like we might just be doing blueberry. Because that's pretty well on there.

Yeah, and I just completely chewed my nicotine patch. Ew. Please trust me. I'm going to toss that. Oh, I hit the floor. Hold on. Time out. It's all right.

This is going to be the slowest start to a podcast. Yeah. Is this dumb? Yes. This is definitely a visual podcast. If you're listening to this in your car, you're going to be fucking furious at us. Yeah, I just can't. We're just going to do blueberry for now.

And you know what? Off camera, we'll try and do these. Did it only come with one crust in the box? No. Oh, no, there's two. There's two. Just cut as many circles as you can when you're done with that, and then I will keep going with this because we can now hear me a little better.

I'm done eating my peach. All right, here. Oh, yeah, we have a sponsor today, our first sponsor, Primer. Oh, yeah. Not to be confused with Prime, the Logan Paul stuff. Primer, alcohol. I like it. Yeah, it's pretty good.

So a buddy of mine, Matt Seavers, he goes to the same gym I go to or I work at, but he started up his own little electrolyte company, and I just asked him if I could bring a few, and he's like, yeah, can you mention it on the podcast? I was like, yeah, let's do it. But they're fucking good. They're in Milwaukee. I think they sell them at discount liquors throughout the area.

Just started up like six months ago, so it's good stuff. They got electrolytes in it, so they're fun to have after working out or a good day of training or just to get the blood sugar back. That's how you start your Friday, just prime for the weekend. There you go. It does look like a can of paint, though. I have been talking about that with the logo, but we'll figure that out. That should be his new slogan. This is the primer for your weekend finish working out friday

have a few of these does he have more than black cherry yeah uh he's got a bunch of flavors i don't know what they are though i'm not i didn't like ask the he's not like technically a sponsor he's just a buddy um that just like gave him to me you know he gave me a fuckload at my gym. I like them. They're good, though. What's your favorite? Oh, you don't even know. Oh, shit.

Yeah, he has a bunch of... Oh, we're already burning stuff. I have no clue what we're doing. We're already burning stuff. How much sugar do you add to this? I don't know. Do you have a list? You said it. We watched his TikTok once.

I am amazed by your confidence. I watched it a few times. You watched it a few times? Yeah, but it's not like I looked at ingredients or anything. It was a good handful, right? I guess, yeah. All right. Sugar is going in.

We got some of these pie crusts here. We got one, two, three, four. We're going to need an even number. What do you mean a half? Because these are double. Oh. So like one. Oh, okay, okay, okay.

Oh, so you got like one total. So we got four total pies here and a half. Blueberries cooked down. Oh, no, I put it in a bigger pot. Did you put the blueberries in already? Oh, yeah, this might go quicker than I think because it's just needed to make this. I think the thing with baking is the thing that takes so long is the bake.

Is the actual baking. Yeah, not like doing this part because that makes sense. The thing that takes on will pay is baking. Cooking usually is the line. It's the worst. I said that out loud. I was like, I'm an idiot. Oh, good God.

This looks beautiful. I just eyeballed sugar. That's what my grandma did. Died? That's how she died. She kept eyeballing sugar. Died of diabetes. Not a big deal. No, she actually lived until she was like 96. That's how she died She kept eyeballing sugar Died of diabetes, not a big deal No, she actually lived to be like 96

That's a good life What do you think is a good age? I guess when your body just Doesn't feel good I think that's the right answer When you feel like you can't physically do much Well, my grandma She said it best

When she was on her deathbed She was crying And you feel like you can't physically do much. Yeah. Well, my grandma, she said it best because, like, we were, like, when she was, like, on her deathbed, she was, like, crying. Or we were, like, crying. And she's like, guys, I had a great life. Like, I had so much fun. But, like, I can't see. I can't move. Like, my hip's broken.

My shoulder's broken. Like, I had a good life. But it's over now. And I was just like, dude, that's pretty cool. It's a good way to look at it. I'm just going to cut with one hand now. Don't try this at home. Yeah, don't try that at home.

Good thing my knives are sharp. But I think I saw them put lemon in there, dude. I don't. This is going to be fun. I will try one of these Just out of curiosity I hope you try a lot of them Well what if we fuck it up dude I don't

It just tastes like dog shit At the end of the day This is gonna be I mean it's sugar Blueberries And pie crust I don't know how you really And lemon

And lemon yeah I don't know how you really hate it No no that's true Yeah how do you fuck it up Except for like if you I mean it's sugar and bread We should make this into something Yeah that's gotta be something Let's make a dick out of that

Like a pastry dick Yeah let's do that And then we gotta make a vagina one Rachel's here we gotta be inclusive She is gonna hate this Oh boy I like this I think if we get this set up right

Eventually We gotta think of a name I think twice baked Twice baked podcast What did you say the whole name is Two comedians take edibles real quick Impromptu Bake Pies. Bake Different Foods.

Sometimes we don't do it. Sometimes we do. This is, okay, this one I'm getting way more efficient with how much stuff. How many years? Yeah. I was just kind of hacking and going. Sorry, we both took edibles. I think we mentioned that, but we both took some edibles before,

and I think mine's kicking in right now. And I'm having a hard time doing this. I'm hoping mine kicks in right when we're about to eat. You got to take one of mine, buddy. I want to see you die on camera. On camera? I don't. I'd be talking to you, but not talking to you.

I know. That's how I felt last night. Michael and I went out to Pride Fest last night. Oh, yeah, yeah. We got real gay last night. Yeah, real gay. A couple how I felt last night. We went, Michael and I went out to Pride Fest last night. Oh, yeah, yeah. We got real gay last night. Yeah, real gay. A couple of proud boys, you know. But I had a lot of fun.

But I was telling Michael before the podcast, I was like, dude, I got way too messed up. Because I blacked out, woke up on the couch. At work. At work. Yeah, my work couch. I should say. I'm like, oh, shit. No, you do work at a gym so you can't just go in whenever

you want it's not like you walked into u.s bank and no yeah that's true i also don't think either of us are working at u.s bank if we're doing a no i did uh oh i gotta add that slurry thing racial slur yeah that's it okay what um yeah i feel so much pressure now because it's just me because michael's cooking That's it? Okay. What? Yeah, I feel so much pressure now because it's just me because Michael's cooking. Hi, guys. Yeah, but we went to Pride Fest, dude.

I had so much fun there when we were watching like a bunch of dancers or a bunch of drag queens coming out. It was honestly fun as hell. Saw a bunch of clients. Saw a girl that i used to see um and she was very confused as to why i was there and i was like we definitely like we weren't with a group it was just you and i yeah once john left so we definitely look like we went there together

yeah well it looked i was laughing because i was like man it looks like uh michael and i haven't come out to anybody except for each other it did it was like there and it was like, man, it looks like Michael and I haven't come out to anybody except for each other. It did. And we were just like there, and it was like our first trip out to the game. You know what I mean? Let's do something for us. But it was fun. I mean, I ran into one of my teammates, my jiu-jitsu teammates, Ben Schultz, last night.

He was hanging out with another teammate of ours. But, yeah, we had a great time, man. It was. For me, it was like I just kind of liked – I was curious. And not in that way, but, you know, it looked like it. I was just like, what happens here? Right. Like, I didn't know, like, there were some – it's hard not to look. But I think when you're there, it's kind of okay to be like,

what the hell are you wearing? Right. Kind of thing. No, absolutely. I i mean i saw so many people with nipple tassels oh yeah i saw uh furries i saw john get visibly uh like attracted and perked up when a furry walked around and that made me upset because now i know john's a furry and i'm not here to kink shame but furries are fucking weird yeah you know what i mean that's like i saw that he was tagged in pictures i some friends on facebook so i saw i think i know

was the furry a fox uh i think with green hair i saw john get a little too excited by a couple foxes and a bunny and i love and i was like john you have been because i gave him an edible last night and so he's kind of moping around We're both moping around all high And then a fox furry guy comes up And John's just like Hey how are ya And he just perks up right away It's like you have way too much energy

I knew how you were like 30 seconds before this Yeah So John fucks furries So that's John fucks furries Doesn't John have a girlfriend? Yeah and she's probably a furry too dude I'm just kidding

Dude I'm just kidding. Dude, I'm definitely fucking this up. Are you? Oh, yeah. I want to go look. Here, I won't be by the mic. This is supposed to be, like, thick. Thickening a bit, I think. I don't know.

I'm just going to make it a little thicker. Kind of looks like that cranberry stuff at Thanksgiving. Oh, yeah, cranberry sauce? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Cranberry sauce? Yeah, cranberry sauce. I think it's the same way. I just, it's got a... Oh, we're doing like the same thing with it? Yeah.

Well, we just need to make pie filling. I know what I could have done is I could have just bought pie filling. Yeah, it's not fun. That's what I thought too. I also thought this would be so easy from that 90 second video we watched. That's what I'm saying. We might fuck it up, easy From that 90 second video we watched That's what I'm saying We might fuck it up But it's okay

It also might just be the time We need How much time do we need? I have no clue To bake It was only 20 minutes to bake So that's not bad It was a one minute video

So how long do we need to cook it for? I don't know You didn't look any of this up? No they had a quick thing on It was like 20 minutes But 400 So I know that Should we look at the phone? No No okay They had a quick thing on it. It was like 20 minutes for 400. So I know that.

Should we look at the phone? No. No. Okay. That's a loss. We have a. I hope some people are just listening to this. I'm just listening on their way to work. What is happening right now?

Great content. Great content. It's just loud kitchen noises. Alright, start shaping that. Shaping this? Oh, into the dick? Okay. I mean, I'll start putting these out here.

We can easily make... I feel like I'll start putting these out here. We can easily make. I feel like I'm in your camera. You got to tell me when I'm in your camera. Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. No, you're good. That's my fault. I got to make a schlong, but I got to put the microphone down, so you got to be in charge of it.

I can talk. But, oh, no, perfect. Okay. Do you think this is enough? Nine? I mean, I feel like I'm going to get the gist of it after I eat, like, two. Yeah, same. One. So, no. Perfect. Okay. Do you think this is enough? Nine? I mean, I feel like I'm going to get the gist of it after I eat, like, two. Yeah, same. So, yeah. I mean, how many do you need?

Dude, I just, like, confused my – I shook this, and then I tried to drink the microphone. Nervous systems just going down. The edible is kicking in. I'm almost done with this dick. Should make it as big as we can. no we gotta save some we gotta make it the vagina is probably pretty easy because we can just cut a slit in this yeah just get a gash in there yeah just should we make it one of the indie vaginas or outie vaginas like big lips yeah i think we gotta make you any guy outie guy what'd you like what's his style for roll-ups or uh uh roast or his box no no uh for roll yeah for roll-ups or uh roast beef like big curtains not a big fan of the huge wizard sleeve

well was it you who was i talking oh no um some of rachel's friends are here this weekend this guy was like i heard a guy call a vagina a dick sleeve recently. That's how I know it's gone too far. He literally just looked at a girl and goes, this dick sleeve over here. I'm like, that might not be the best choice of words if you really want to start talking to women. Dick sleeve. I do. I think it's creative.

It's creative. In context, it's a good word. Yes. All right. Good. Is it a great thing? Like, hey, I really want, do you think this dick sleeve will talk to me? I don't think that's going to work.

Go up and you might as well be like, hey, dick sleeve, can I grab you by the pussy kind of thing? I mean, just throw them all in there. But if you're just like talking to some guy who's like annoying you or who cuts you off in traffic and you're like, hey, dick sleeve. And he's like, what is a dick sleeve? dictionary is it that'd be pretty good this doesn't look like a dick it looks kind of like a chicken finger or a claw it's like an impotent sad flaccid limp it's just limp dick it's a flaccid penis you got to get sponsored by bluetooth and then we can just just We can do that Are you doing this?

Does your penis look like this? Take a Bluetooth I've taken Bluetooth before dude That shit fucking rules dude Like I don't even really You just like rock hard Yeah I don't even like have problems

With it too much Except for like if I get hammered or something Or if I have sex with women you know Cause when I do Instant boner. Yeah. Yeah. Um,

but, uh, I took one of those just for funsies. Like a friend gave me one and then I was like, dude, these fucking rule dude. I'd be afraid of those. Like,

Oh, I like them. Then you're taking them all the time. Then you do have problems. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. I only take it.

I'd like, I ordered some, uh, I got like the 10 a month or something like that yeah and i just do it for nights when i'm hammered but i know oh yeah like if i have like a sealed deal with a lady but i'm like trashed yeah you're like yeah i need to pick me up yeah i need to literally and even if it's just the placebo effect like oh yeah of like oh i took a dick pill. Sometimes that gets in my head, too.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Let's go. Yeah. I can imagine she's probably here right now. She'll love our conversation. This is great. No, she's on her way.

All right. We got to get the penis down, though. I mean, just imagine it's going to bake out. So should we have it empty? I'll hold for you. There you go. Should we have it empty and we fill it with jelly? So like an empty cock that we're filling with jelly.

That's what we're doing. So you want to fill it like you want to make a penis pie? Yeah, that's what I thought we were doing. Oh, I was just going to. I thought we were just going to shape. Oh, we could do that. Yeah, that's OK. Yeah, I think that'd be really going to shape dough. We could do that. Yeah, that's what... I think that'd be really hard to fill it.

But it'd be kind of cool if we took a bite out of a penis and it basically jizzed blueberries. This looks like a dick right there. It kind of does, yeah. It's got like that upward tilt. Yeah.

We were talking about that at a Was it just go like this bro where we cover it? Oh, yeah this when we cook it and then because we'll put the jelly in there and then we'll just we got to make the testicles Oh, oh, yeah. Okay. I'll make I got the testes, too I think I do I have anything that's small that you can like make like a small circle with? We were talking about penis shapes at Comedy on State this week. Would you rather...

I don't know how we got into it. What happened if your penis curled down? Do you know how hard it is trying to have sex like that? Yeah, I've thought about that. You'd have to just constantly fall forward. I mean, you'd probably have to do reverse cowgirl a lot. She would have to do all the work, I feel like. Just to, like, get it in her without, like, going up against her fucking, like, pelvis.

I think we were talking to Brandon, too, and he goes, dude, I don't know if it'd fit like that. I'm like, you don't just go in. If it's, like, a 90-degree angle, you're still're still gonna lead with the tip you're not just shoving it in by the shaft just going balls put everything in there dude that would be wild yeah i uh i like my tilt on my penis um it's good sometimes but it would be weird if it tilted the other way. I saw this one dick in a porno, dude, that, like, its head was so abnormally big in comparison, and it, like, tilted down, and it looked like a dinosaur, dude. And I've been thinking about it. It tilted down?

Yeah, so it was, like, regular shaft. Dick had massive, like, shroom top, but then tilted down right at the head. was like that's like a like a like a scraper you know like uh they have i forget what it was i think the the head of your dick from like an evolutionary point of like what it's for is to scrape out cum from other primates oh yeah yeah like their head because like they want to dig. I've heard that. And then you spray your load in to get your DNA, uh, keeping on going and surviving. Uh, but that guy, like that guy's got a fucking shovel.

Yeah. He's literally scraping it down. He's like, nobody's coming in here except for me. And if you come, you gotta go. Okay. It's coming. Go. Oh, an gotta go. Okay? Let's come and go.

An actual shovel. Just, I wonder. I wonder. I mean, I know. Do you think that'd feel good? Dude, I don't even know. I do wish I was a girl for like a day just to know what it feels like. Yeah, but then I'm so happy I'm a guy.

Oh, yeah. So happy I'm a guy. I'm yeah. So happy I'm a guy. I'm going to have another one of these. Help yourself. Straight white dude in America? We fucking were. Great. Yeah, it was pretty good.

We can't seem too excited, though. Otherwise, we look kind of weird. We do. Well, we were at Pride, so, you know. We are allies. It's questionable. We are allies. We are allies.

I don't know what to do about this pie thing. I feel like I could drain it, and then all the fruit is thick enough. Okay. Maybe it's because they're organic blueberries. I didn't know I bought organic blueberries, but – What is it supposed to look like? Like this, but thick. It's like jelly you kind of want.

So, like, the blueberries are supposed to, like, dissipate entirely? No, you want some. Dude, I don't. Hold on. Let me watch the video again. Maybe watch the video a second time. See? Okay, here.

She did this. Well, she rolled out her dough. Oh, wow. What a fancy dish. So, that's us. See how, like... See how it's a little more, like... I don't know.

Thick? Oh, yeah. Maybe I have too much water in there. Yeah, maybe... Ooh, do you want to grab an egg out of the fridge for me? Yes. Thank you very much. Welcome back to Cooking

with Kuski. This is not going well. I like actually cooking. Baking is right there. You're pointing at them down. It's like empty. There's like three eggs in there. I think I just need one egg

is my guess. I'm have to just paint them. There you go, Seth. Thank you very much, my little sous chef. Drink primer. Can I get you something in the meantime? Do you want snacks? What do you got? Well, I got... You're looking at bananas, tortillas, and those are pitas.

Can I have a pita? Absolutely. I just need a carb load. Yeah. Otherwise, there's sugar back there. I've been moving around with my, I had my son today. He, we've got a bunch of ice cream. He smashed me in the face with an ice cream cone.

Dude, he painted you in the face. He was so waiting for it. it like it was basically a punch with an ice cream cone and i was like how did you basically they just took turns putting ice cream in each other's faces whose idea was this oliver see i called him today uh this morning and i was like hey do you want to go get uh because i knew he was coming back he was camping today but i knew he got back on sunday morning so i was like hey do you want to go get because I knew he's coming back. He was camping today, but I knew he got back on Sunday morning. So I was like, hey, do you want to go get ice cream? And he's like, yes, but can I hit you in the face with an ice cream cone?

I'm like, yeah. And he's like, nice. And so he was so excited, though. It was so fun. Oh, he was waiting for it. He was. Well, when we when we were hanging out waiting for the ice cream. Oh, no. Oh, no. I can't win. Find one that doesn't have mold. He was well when we when we were hanging out waiting for the ice Right there is mold all over them

Yeah Don't eat those please we have tortillas. There's a Dorito bag Frito bag There's regular chips. There's ranch pretzels If you want literally find whatever you want Okay, see the refresher box Down middle yellow box right behind it. There's a bag of Doritos or a bag of Fritos middle yellow box right behind it there's a bag of doritos or a bag of fritos yeah i don't use them for walking tacos my mom got them for me well the oven's ready this is great it's starting to thicken up a little bit actually

this edible is fully kicking and then for me mine isn't really you want to take a little bit of mine like a little nibby? You don't need to take the whole thing. I don't want to peer pressure you. Let me see them. Yeah. How strong are yours? These ones are light.

These are like 25 right now. 25-ers? Okay. Yeah, I might take a nibble nibble. Although, all of a sudden, this is like famous last words. It's not hitting me. And then I take more. And then all of a sudden this is like famous last words like it's not hitting me and then i take more and then all of a sudden rager's gonna be here i'm like i'm just gonna be staring at the puzzle i'll try it we'll even i don't even know if i'll take all of it but you gotta talk to

the devil sometime michael i know but i don't want to talk to the devil sometime, Michael. I know, but I don't want to talk to the devil. It's Sunday. It's the Lord's Day. That's the best day, though. I feel like you're lying to me, too, on how strong those are. They're 50. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

Good night. This is slowly happening. I'm liking what's happening here. Oh, I was so expecting the walking taco to be a taco dorito not something you just open dude do you ever have uh have you ever had a walking taco yeah they're amazing they're absolutely amazing um by the way two two thoughts my those taste infinitely better than what i took the other one tastes like i licked the ashtray um like it just tastes straight oh the oh the edible that was delicious yeah no what kind did you get doritos do you remember the late night doritos i used to have they had purple

box bag maybe but it was uh no it was like black and they had like neon. They had burger and taco versions. The burger tasted exactly like a Big Mac. I mean, those chips, I'm stealing one of these. These are, I love Doritos. I love chips in general. I do too. Now I'm hungry. Just shit food, but I try not to like buy it.

Otherwise, I would eat it all the time. I don't have a, it's the same thing as booze. I don't keep it in the house because I know I get a little crazy with it, you the same thing as booze i don't keep it in the house because i know i get a little crazy with it you know oh really you don't keep it in the house at all no i mean like if it's a if i have a girl coming over and she wants something i'll pick it up and then like until it's gone but i won't have it just for me oh yeah or like something like that or like my dad comes over or something like i know he likes spotted cow so i'll pick up spotted cow for him or central waters he likes so i'll go when i know he's coming i'll get to get him like a growler or that but i just don't keep it in the house for me yeah we i mean we obviously

have it here um i like just having it on hand so if people do come over randomly like oh i got stuff not be like okay i'll get it and i'm good about not you seem like you have a lot more friends coming over than me though yeah i'm old i live away from the city i like you know if you're coming over you're like it's a plan like we've made up oh yeah yeah i and we live close to third by we we live close to third so like if we go out and like you want just bars about to close like screw this let's right let's go spend money let's go to my place i have beer and food um that's nice but i'm pretty good about not drinking during the week yeah since rachel's been here though i've been drinking more just because we're doing out doing socially that's gotta be fun man you got your lady uh she lives in north carolina so you guys aren't used to

that right yeah no um but she's from here right Right. Yeah, so it's been nice. I mean, she's here basically through. Oh, shit. What's happening? Uh-oh. We're fucking it up. Is bubbling good, you think? I don't.

I mean, maybe it'll curdle together. Oh, you know what I can do? All right, you talk for a second. What are you doing, though? I'm just going to add more of that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we were talking about that. We had cornstarch, and then I hadn't thought about cornstarch in forever.

And then I was asking him. It was like in junior high, they would always have us get cornstarch for some ingredient. And I couldn't remember, but I think it was like slime or glue or something. No, glue is... Isn't glue like horses' bones and shit? Elmer's glue and stuff? I'm pretty sure that's that. Why do I feel like that's just not accurate at all?

Really? Well, because, uh, I'm pretty sure glue comes from horses. Oh, I fucked up. Really? Did we fuck up really bad? I shouldn't have just added it straight. You added it into the water first, so it dissolves. Now there's just

corn starch. Oh, gross. Well, we tried. We're trying. We're learning. We're learning. Worst case scenario,

I'll put a banana in each one of those. Actually, banana ones wouldn't be bad. I could cut up bananas and just do like sugar and banana pie. Dude, even if we put those bananas like on the stove.

With some sugar. And like just brown them. Yeah. And put them in there. And then like. That's not bad. If we can't figure this out, we're doing banana. That sounds good.

What do you need? Do you need help with anything, man? No. Do you got to drain it? Because it's too much liquid? And then you got to just cook it? Probably. Damn.

So I'm trying to think what I all did. Oh, man. I had a tough day at practice today because I was out until like midnight drinking and doing drugs and stuff with you guys last night. And then I had to go to practice this morning. I was just sweating so much. Oh, my God. I was just dying.

Every break, I was just like, okay, I'm going to go home. When I drink and then go work out, the next day my heart rate is through the roof. I burn so much more because of that. Me too, yeah. I burn so much. I'll do half the workout. I feel like I'm dying. You're improving, by the roof. I burn so much more because of that. Me too. I'll do like half the workout. I feel like I'm dying. You're improving by the way.

We've been doing a little bit of kickboxing and stuff and you're getting better man. I noticed I got better when we were just hitting your mitts. I'm better at keeping my hand here. When we actually fight it all goes out the window. But it's going to happen.

It'll come in time. Well, I'm going to try and get you that new client. Oh, yeah. Which will be good. That'll be fun. And then I'm going to bring Rachel on Friday. Oh, yeah. That'll be cool.

She's literally going to say, I get to fight you. That shouldn't be what you're excited about. I'm going to have you guys fight at the end. It'll be fun. I know you are. And I'm going to laugh the whole time. She'll look at me and be like, take this seriously.

She's going to be coming for you, too. I know. Dude, if she clips you and concusses you or cuts you or breaks your nose or gives you a bloody nose, I'm going to laugh so hard. Oh, I think you should record and be like, you guys want to watch Kuski get kicked by his girlfriend? Yeah, kick my ass. Oh, man. Yeah, I think you should record it. Be like, you guys want to watch Koski get kicked by his ass? Yeah, he gets kicked by his ass.

Oh, man. Yeah, I can... It's thickening. Is it doing the right things now? Yeah, we're going to have little bits of cornstarch, I think, in here. Yeah, well... But, like, we don't need to tell her that. She'll find out.

She'll find out. She'll be like, what is this chunk of just bullshit? I'm not going to lie. This tastes like shit yeah actually like the whatever is pretty good like the i bet it looks good i mean it's blueberries and sugar it looks like uh that cranberry sauce why don't why did we make cranberry sauce at thanksgiving why won't you make blueberry sauce blueberries are way better maybe it's just in season oh yeah i don't know i don't there's probably an easy answer for a lot of things that i just don't want to google i had this place so clean when you got here yeah i was

not anymore not even close all right we are um What do you need me to do, man? I think. Honestly, just keep having fun. Just keep having fun. So the whole show is just me watching you cook and fuck up. And correct yourself. And me making commentary on it. Is that the gist of it? That's the gist of the show.

Yeah. We're trying something new. I mean, this camera is basically black. I've That's the gist of the show. Yeah. The gist of the show? Okay. We're trying something new. I mean, this camera's basically black. I've been in your shop most of the time. No one can see what we're actually cooking. We say we're making pies, but... Yeah, we'll need to get, like, one more camera over the food itself. Oh, absolutely.

You know, cooking. I don't know what I'm doing. Let's see. You probably shouldn't eat into the microphone, too. Oh, well. Dude, when I started this, when I started podcasting, I had a show called Tending a Lisp.

I did it with my buddy who had a lisp. And we just called it Tending a Lisp. And we would just eat candy the entire time. Yeah, and it wasn't a video one. I didn't have cameras at the time. so it was just audio of us just... Did it drive people nuts? Oh, my God. My mom was like, I fucking hate this.

My buddy Conrad was like, dude, you guys are driving me crazy. That's hilarious. I mean, think about it. If you were in the room with someone, they're constantly just... Dude, I hear it on podcasts, and it doesn't really bother me, but I know it drives some people insane. I've listened to Rogan, and Rogan goes insane. He's like, dude, stop chewing on the microphone.

You can't eat. He'll stop the podcast. Oh, yeah. If it's that bad, then say something. But other than that, I don't think it's – it's not terrible. I just have corn starch everywhere um they made it look so easy yeah dude in that video they really did they uh they probably do this like a lot more than we do though you know i mean this is the first time i've

ever done it dude i took a pottery class on friday how did that go it was so fun you got to go with your lady it's such a fun pottery class yeah it's such a fun like day night I went with a friend of mine but like uh yeah like like I like a friend where did you go also what does the pottery class run you my Murray's pottery house I have no idea she paid for it uh she just took care of it it was awesome um I have no idea um but for as far as how much it costs. But it was like two hours pottery. And then I got to go pick it back up in like two weeks or something because it's got to burn. Oh, it's got to go on the kiln and whatnot.

Yeah, it's going to be fun, though. So I just made my cats a couple bowls, like food bowls, you know. How many cats do you have? Two. Yeah, Rosa and Bruce. And so I put their little names in the bowl. Oh, perfect, yeah. It's cute, yeah.

It'll be fun. And then I got a little vase that I figure, I don't know, I'll put two. So you just, how did it work? Like, did they give you a set amount of clay? Or like, hey, you can have as much clay as you want. You just have two hours to make stuff. Yeah, so he tells you he shows

you what to do first with the wheel and everything uh because you've got like the pedal in the wheel and it shows you like how to center it because you have to center it and that's like the hardest part to get it in the center of the wheel because if it's off to like an angle it'll just like shake around and you can't sculpt it then uh so centering it's the hardest part and you just basically throw it as hard as you can into the center and then once it's centered then you gotta uh kind of sculpt how high you want to go with it so you put your hands forward and you gotta keep your elbows in on the inside of your knees when you do it while you're pushing in because when it's out your elbows will just shake but you got to drive in it actually we're me and my friend danielle the lady who i went with i teach her jujitsu and um we were that's like the same positions you do in jujitsu for your framing

you keep your elbows on the inside and so we looked over at each other and it was like jujitsu was that the girl that you went with that showed up while i was practicing once yeah yeah yeah yeah that's danielle she's awesome yeah she's great she's uh gem i love one of my favorite people on the planet yeah i'm blessed with that man i'm surrounded by great people you're gonna actually have to just keep talking while i do this we are actually actually trying to make them. They don't look that bad. No, dude. That actually looks really good. The white spots.

Should I move a camera so they can see it or should I not? I don't care. I'm just I'm not going to talk for two seconds. So I get this done quickly. You have to fill the time. OK. But yeah. So the potter class, we we did that.

And it's really fun because you have to sculpt it like you have to center it first and then you have to build it up so you gotta like push your hands forward and then move from the bottom you have to feel everything like with your fingers to the very bottom and then go up and then go up and each time you do that it raises the clay like a fraction of a centimeter and you just got to be super patient and methodical and like feel the clay spinning around and like it's kind of it's really therapeutic i love stuff like that man like her and i are gonna do a watercolor like we're just getting really into the art stuff i think i might be gay dude i don't know what's going on but it's fun i like it and it's fun to just like because i do have like end of a chaotic job you know where it takes a lot out of me so it's fun to

do other things that just are calm it's nice to do like mindless stuff like when you commented on the puzzle here i was like dude it keeps me off my phone yeah like don't be wrong it's frustrating as hell and you're like i know what piece i need it should be so easy to find i've looked at every piece on this fucking puzzle. I've done that before. The amount of times I have been like, it's missing pieces. And it's like, dude, you just bought this from the store. I don't think the manufacturer.

It was sealed. Yeah, it was sealed. That's like somebody, I think it was Cody yesterday. Cody was talking about how he bought a used puzzle. And it took him seven months to realize they had three missing pieces. He was going postal. I think we're just going to do it like this.

You need help. Do you want to start pinching on the sides here around? Yep. Just like this. Oh boy. Yeah, I know it's going to like stuff is going to leak a bit. You know, these remind me of those

little breakfast uncrustable oh yeah i've never had the breakfast version but do not breakfast one just on scramble oh yeah i don't always eat them for breakfast um this one's gonna be the worst one right here um okay so rachel and i were like, hey, before – because she's big into fitness too. So, yeah, we want them to make sure that they're, like, together. So really get them down there. So we always talk about, like, oh, I don't let myself eat this. I don't let myself eat this, which we're both so active we could probably eat whatever we wanted.

Right. But she goes, we should do but she goes we should do a day where we just do a complete cheat day like make a list of all the foods we haven't had in a while that we're like i can't eat those anymore and let's do it and so what would be breakfast run me through your ultimate cheat day breakfast lunch dinner two snacks okay so snacking between breakfast and lunch snack between dinner or you could be like just put, two snacks. Okay, so snacking between breakfast and lunch, snack between dinner. Or you could be like, just put the two snacks on with dessert at the end of the night. And you're not full.

And I'm not going to get a tummy ache? No, you're not going to get tummy ache. Just ideal. Because that's what makes me eat clean for the most part. Isn't that I don't enjoy it. It's just that I feel like shit afterwards uh i love junk food like i love sugar i love all that stuff but um probably french toast uh this is breakfast french toast and some like eight nine slices of bacon uh like so you're french toast

over pancakes waffles yes that depends yeah uh depends like um good french toast oh my ex-girlfriend made some fucking i'm gonna just start talking about her now but like uh no she made like the best fucking french toast ever and like that changed the game for me uh and then there's this restaurant but i'm drawing a blank on it crave sweet sweet sweet diner sweet diner you ever been there bro take your lady that place fucking rules um yeah sweet diner is awesome uh but that place has like some of the best french toast i've ever had to use also and um i just feel like really good french toast like really good french toast is better than really good pancakes but it's more rare to find really good French toast.

I can see, yes, you're going to get. Like, really good pancakes and really good waffles you can basically get wherever. And they're amazing. I just think, like, when it comes to, like, the best fucking French toast, it's like a whole other ballgame. But that's harder to find. Yeah, and I think you can do so much more with French toast because it's more dense. So, like, if I put all this stuff on pancakes,

it's going to get, like, maybe soggy, but French toast, it's got a little more, like, thing you can absorb. And so many different types of bread, too, so you can have so many different types of French toast. So you can do, like, fuck, like, bananas foster French toast or, like, the berries and cream. Like, you can put that stuff on it, Fuck Like bananas foster French toast

Or like the berries and greens Like you can put that stuff on it But you can't add all that into pancakes And it really tastes well Right So like if I put bananas in pancakes It just like, I don't know It doesn't do it for me

Chocolate, what's your favorite type of pancake? And then we gotta get back to your cheat sheet My favorite type of pancake I'm gonna be a basic bitch and say chocolate chip man i love chocolate chip like good chocolate chip pancakes or good uh strawberry or blueberry my so i love like um if you did like pancake strawberries and like whipped cream and stuff like that i'd be playing my favorite pancakes of all time are George Webb's wheat cakes. Dude, George Webb's fucking slaps. People like hate on it.

They're so good. I love George Webb's. I'll probably go there after this, actually, to be honest with you. It's so, I love George Webb's. I'm supposed to paint this on. Who just said, oh, I do have a paintbrush. Do you have a whisker or whatever they're called? What's a whisker?

Like a whisk thingy that you, it's like a brush that you paint eggs. Yeah, yeah. I have it somewhere. I don't know. Oh, yeah, here. Dude, I have every cooking utensil you can think of. Dude, you guys are so put together, Michael. Not really.

Not really. Also, I would say fairly recently recently like i have been getting shit together like work's going good the lady i'm stand up is i'm like doing it as much as i can and you have good mental health for a comedian too and i'm not sucking at it which is a good one um or at least i don't think I'm sucking at it. Yeah, I think I do too. I think also the comedians that are constantly like, oh, I'm this, I'm that.

I'm like, you're doing it for a bit. I think there are some that legitimately... I had this rant with Matt. I think people are using it sometimes. There are real people who are really going through it, and then there are people who are using it sometimes like there are real people who are like really going through it and then there are people who are using it as a personality trait which is fucking i hate it that's exhausting penis after this we're just gonna try oh yeah that's fine um get out of here you flaccid bitch take a blue those the testicles yeah okay all right last time i used the oven i almost burned the apartment down.

Let's have a repeat. Let's burn it down. Burn it all down. Burn it all down. I don't give a fuck. You ever listen to those guys? I Prevail, the metal band.

They have a song called Burn It Down. I'm high as a goddamn kite. How are you feeling, buddy? You gotta wake up. I'm good. Yeah. What was I going to say? Penis. Oh, back to your cheat day.

So you're French toast and what? So this is breakfast. You're French toast. Nine pieces of bacon. Like black. You like crispy? Black pepper. Yeah, I wanted.

You were at Pepper Bacon? Oh, yeah. So good. I love it. Black pepper, yeah i wanted uh you were a pepper bacon oh yeah i love it black pepper dude oh that's a shit yeah um garlic in it oh yeah it's so good uh i that's like the one of the reasons why i fantasize about being vegetarian more just uh because i was raised vegetarian i don't know if i ever told you really Really? Like, yeah. I didn't have any meat until I was, like, probably 13 or something. Then I just, I forget. Bacon. It was bacon. Yeah, my friend's dad made bacon, and I had bacon.

And I was like, this is fucking amazing. Yeah. And then I just, I've been eating meat ever since. But, like, I fantasize about being vegetarian, but, like, good bacon, dude. Oh, my God. That'll bring you back. I love it. Yeah.

I'm a firm believer that bacon doesn't make everything better, but bacon by itself is amazing. Everyone's like, just add bacon. I'm like, no, it doesn't need bacon. Right, right. Yeah, like some dishes like burgers or pizza or stuff like that. Dude, also, if I get a bacon cheeseburger, I never taste the bacon. No, it's just adding. It's always some flaccid piece of bacon that just. You know what's pretty good, dude?

The rodeo burger at Burger King. Okay? They put onion rings on it. They get onion rings on it and then like a pickle, but it's pretty good. And then they put barbecue sauce on it instead of ketchup. I like barbecue sauce on a burger. It's pretty good. Yeah. You're a peanut butter on a burger. It's pretty good. Yeah.

You're a peanut butter on a burger? Fuck no, dude. What the fuck are you talking about? Come on in. Are you here? Hi. We're in a podcast. How are you?

I don't know if these pies are going to turn out. We just put them in. I added cornstarch when I shouldn't have, so there's not chunks of cornstarch it's not gonna be good it looks disgusting it looks disgusting but but it might be well it's like sugar and blueberries yeah but I bought two boxes of pie crust so we can try our hand at it later if you want this whole thing has been a shit show too yeah all it is is it takes I also I don't know how to cut a peach um like I couldn't get I tried cutting one, and we ended up just sharing it off the pit. I did feel pretty manly, though.

I told him I feel like a cowboy when I eat a peach. It's like a very Western feel. Do you get that? You ever watch? No? All right, whatever. I feel like I'm going to start being high now, too. I feel like everybody's like, okay.

How are you? I'm doing good. I'm going to start being high now too. I feel like everybody's like, okay. Do you like my, how are you? I'm doing good. Are we doing good? I'm sorry, I took an edible. No, you're good. We're going to, what's up? I don't know how long we've been doing this. We have to do it for another 17 minutes because we're going to try the pies.

Okay, nice. And then we're going to make a penis. Yeah, we tried to make a penis. We're going to fill it with... I do have another box, so we can try. Do you know how to cut peaches? Okay, so maybe we can do the peach ones later, if we like these.

Otherwise, we watched a video once and are trying this, and I feel like I'm about to start. No, he showed me a one-minute TikTok video once, and then he's like, you got it? I was like, yeah. Yeah. I think that's a good idea. Like, I think it's fun.

I think what we should do is next time we do this, you pick the video and the food, the food video, the baking video. I get to see it once. You let me know the ingredients I need. I get to see it once. let me know the ingredients i need i get to see it once i go i got it okay let's see if i can do it and then the next time i'll give you just baking no i think it should be baked okay all right yeah what do you think of twice baked yeah yeah or like a twice baked potato there's two of us. We're baked and baking. So the two is for multiple reasons.

Two people. Look at that. Baking two different ways because of weed and food. So it's like two different types of bake. That would be good. I think you're a little behind. I took an edible earlier. And I smoked in my car before because I didn't want to wait for the edible.

Oh, yeah. Also, dude, I don't think it was us, but I did tell you, we got a complaint once down there. Yeah, so it's not us. If our landlord watches this, the people above us complain. They're like,

it smells like weed in the apartment below us. We're like, what? And so Jake, my roommate called me. He's like, smells like weed in the apartment below us we're like what and so jake my roommate called me he's like were you smoking in the apartment you know what he goes i know you don't smell like because i don't smoke and we did what out the window once yeah once and then we got to complain a month later but it's apparently like because you said they were hot boxing their car out front we live in a great place yeah well i mean even then like it's apparently because you said they were hotboxing their car out front. We live in a great place. Yeah. Well, I mean, even then, like, it's annoying because I used to live in a place that I wouldn't smoke in the apartment.

But I mean, I'd smoke like on my porch and stuff. And they would always say, like, they'd put posters on everybody's doors. Be like, you cannot smoke marijuana here. But I'm like, motherfucker, I'm paying two, paying two grand or whatever a month for this fucking place. I'm going to smoke on my porch. I don't smoke in my apartment, but I'm going to smoke on my porch. Okay? You know?

Like, I'm a red-blooded American. I'm not going to get high in my house. I do now because I live in a shithole strip mall place, and my guy's a slumlord and i have no respect for him actually dude i got a qualm with my landlord right now i challenged him did i tell you i didn't tell you did i tell you i just met you did uh i didn't tell you about all this okay so this guy is a motherfucker like he my heater went out in um february and he didn't get it replaced for like three weeks in the middle of the week oh yeah because that's when we were going to do the podcast oh yeah yeah yeah that's right and my heater was out and he made

like he just bullshitted me the whole time saying it'd get fixed the next day and then it wouldn't be fixed when I get home from work then I'd come home and I'd text him and he'd be like it'll be fixed tomorrow and that went on for a few weeks so then finally I went into the city department, city hall, and went to the buildings guy and then filed a complaint.

Then conveniently enough, the next day the guy fixed my heater. I'm like, fuck you, dude. You don't need to fix it. But then so like the other day my power went out in my whole building it was out for like two days it just got fixed today like this morning or no no uh yesterday it's saturday morning and uh but it was out for like two days and he didn't answer any phone call i called him a million times he's in this group chat because i live over a barber shop yeah uh and then this lady this other family lives on above

insurance agency the insurance agency had to be closed for like those two days it was out because I can't run a business with no power in there and then the barbershop had like fucking candles in there this guy didn't hit us up at all and he like he works out at animal house yeah it's like one of those big yeah he's like one of those big bodybuilder dudes but uh and like he always like i could tell he like tries to fucking check me and stuff like that when we see each other but dude he's like 50 he's fucking he's turtling yeah but like it's not like it's not functional you know oh okay it's just like you're you're a robot and so but i offered him because he like kept insulting me.

He called me, told me I was stupid, told me he's like looking for a reason to evict me and all that stuff. Like I have all these messages to like through text message because he's a fucking retard. But then so then I challenged him. I was like, I was like, hey, man, like if you're going to talk like that, you just come to my gym. I offered him 200 bucks to just fight me uh and then I offered him another 200 bucks if he won you know I was like dude you make 200 bucks pay him yeah and then bro and then I went to a dark place because I started fantasizing about it you know and I was like because I like I thought about it I was like I would just I would just smash him, elbow him in the face,

and then as he turtles up, I'll strangle him out cold. And then when he's leaking and wakes up from a pile of his own blood, I'll throw the $200 on him. I'll take that, Sabu. But then I was like, Avery, we're getting a little too far right now. A little too much energy has gone into this. I heard about attempted murder. Yeah, no.

I mean, I'd have him sign a waiver. And then I'd put it sign a waiver. Yeah. And then I put it all on camera. So it's not out of context, you know, like he agreed to do it. But I thought about this. I've had to do that before. No, I'm just kidding. People, have you paid to fight?

No, I don't actually, I don't think I've paid anybody. But yeah, I used to. The shoes are under the table. Can I have them? The moccasins? Yeah. to anybody but yeah i used this are under the table can i have them the moccasins yeah um my feet suck and this floor hurts um where were you going oh i was just talking about how my uh my feud with my landlord right now and i'm just excited because he's selling the building uh so he just doesn't give a fuck right now like at all but it's so inconvenient

like there's kids in like my son's there on the weekends uh but there's like kids that live in the apartment like next to me so it's like dude you're fucking assholes and like just power out heater was out for like three weeks you know you gotta throw everything away in your refrigerator yeah i know and i just went grocery shopping that tuesday so i just hate them i don't like them i bet we don't need time i don't need to manifest with the murder that i'm gonna do later what we do need to get back to is all right we haven't made it past breakfast for you for your idea i told about our cheat day idea i was like well what is your you know get a stomach ache and you don't feel like shit what are you eating you get breakfast lunch and dinner and two snacks okay so lunch and he's got at this point he's at french toast and like 10 pieces

of bacon as his breakfast uh lunch let's see here honestly probably a big thing of pizza from the public market you ever have that pizza? No. I've only had the Margarita Paradise food and then Paul's Club. Oh, yeah. I forget the name of the building or the

company, but when you walk in through the entrance is the first place on the left. Yeah, I should try other things. He's given us a few. You want to take a pottery class she doesn't she yeah do you want to take a pottery class okay see that's fine i took a pottery class the other day it was a good time yeah i actually made a vase i was very proud of myself i gotta pick it up in like three weeks uh after it gets kilned and painted but i made it it was like as tall as this thing uh and then are you gonna buy flowers to put it in or something no i'll probably just put change in it and look at it and be like i fucking made that and now how often do you have changed now we didn't even get to lunch

so do you want me to do lunch or change uh lunch okay um yeah pizza uh probably like some pot roast um like spaghetti i'll probably get uh chinese food and get some chicken and get like cranberry goons and then egg drop soup this is lunch pizza pot roast spaghetti and chinese takeout yeah i probably get some chips and then i get uh some spinach um and then i'd get probably a blueberry and then i'd get uh and i'd get a single blueberry an empanada yeah i get an empanada and then i'd get i don't know i'll probably get Chinese food or pizza. It depends on what I want. You're asking me what I would eat on a cheat day.

Every day is a cheat day. I eat whatever the fuck I want, whatever the hell I want. You work out so much. I had Chinese food yesterday. I had eight tacos. We ate a lot last night. You told me. We ate a lot last night. Yeah, and you told me. I blacked out last night.

What happened? I had tacos and pizza? So we left Pride Fest, and we're like, are you hungry? I'm like, I'm starving. So we see this food truck, and then it was just like normal food like sandwiches and i was like i don't want this like i don't want this either so we you're like i'll call an uber i'm like let's go to third we can find like bar food there and then we're near my apartment um and then there was this lemonade stand next to the food truck and you

and i thought it was a good idea to be like, should we get vodka lemonades while we wait for our Uber that's six minutes away? Yeah, we didn't have any vodka. And they didn't have vodka. It was just flavored lemonade. We're like, screw that. So then we Ubered a Taco Mike's. And I think it's Taco Mike's or Mike's Tacos. Either way, we get tacos and both of us get our side was a quesadilla.

That's right. Yeah, mini quesadilla. That's right. Yeah. Mini quesadilla. You gave a taco to a homeless guy. I did. Yeah. I'm a fucking good guy. Fuck everybody.

When I'm blackout drunk, I'm giving food to homeless people. Yeah, you're like, I'll always give food, but never money. I was like, OK. That's true, too. And then Cody calls. He goes, where are you guys? We're at a taco place. He goes, you're not at a bar?

I'm like, we're going to one. He asks which one. I just said one on 3rd Street. We literally got up from tacos, walked a block and a half to the bar, and right before the bar, I mean the building next to the bar, you're like, dude, do you want pizza? We just got tacos. He goes, I'll get a slices of pizza.

I'm like, OK. So then we got two giant slices of Caprizi pizza. I do not remember that part. That's like where I'm just like, oh, shit. I blacked out. We ate it in three minutes. And then we went to the bar. That's hilarious.

And then Cody got there. Cody in Vegas. Within within two minutes you're like when are you leaving can you drive me home i ate all that food and got so tired you were pretty high too dude um there was something i wanted to say in the middle of that but then i lost it. Doesn't matter. The pizza. Yeah. Oh, so I woke up this morning, and I forgot about the pizza.

And then so I woke up, ordered a pound. I got a pound of eggs. And hot dogs. And hot dogs. And hot dogs. And I ate that. And I grabbed one of those naked juice, the green ones. And then I just went to practice. But, dude, I felt pretty good.

And then I had, what did I have? Arby's. I had a roast beef slider, two of them, after practice. And then that's what I'm going to eat. So I eat whatever. I mean, you know, like I don't know. I probably shouldn't as I get older. I should probably clean it up just for, like, my heart and everything, you know.

I mean, dude, you work out. You did, what, seven hours of jiu-jitsu yesterday? Yeah. Or two days ago, yeah. Today. So it's basically, like, every day I'll do something. But it's still, like. You're burning probably, like, 5,000 calories a day.

Yeah, I'm losing weight, and it's terrifying me. Like, I keep weighing myself, and I'm just like – What do you weigh right now? Like 154. Yeah, that's like – I used to fight – I fought at 170 twice. I shouldn't have, but, like, I had two fights at 170, and then I walked around at, like, 163.

I was just like, I'll fight over here. Yeah, I'm at, like, 157 now really yeah i finally tried putting weight back on i know i need to i need to do more like weightlifting and everything my buddy travis you know travis big tall blonde guy trainer at alt added up at comotion maybe you've just seen him uh but he he's gonna help me with some weightlifting because he wanted to learn kickboxing. He does jujitsu with me with us, but he wants to do

some kickboxing. I'm much better at the weightlifting than I am the jujitsu. How much time? We got three minutes. Three minutes till pie time. What do you think these look like? Oh, they don't look terrible. One leaked. One leaked. One looks like it's got the drip um it's chlamydia yeah you got any of these left no there's something i'm so hungry

there's i mean we'll get you more food after this yeah i'm just gonna mow down after this oh that's my problem i don't eat until I'm starving, and then I just binge. And that's basically everything in my life, you know? But, like, I just, oh, I need to do this now to the excess. Oh, yeah. Wait, Rach, you already ate? I was going to say, I would order Chinese food tonight. Dude, I'm going to go get it. Yeah, dude, I'm going to go get some Chinese food by my house.

Do you have a good Chinese place by your house? What's that? That's,'s like something I dream of. It's like wherever I live, I wish it was within walking distance. Our clothes is good Chinese takeout. It's good Chinese takeout. Yeah, it's great Chinese takeout and

cheap right by my house. I live in St. Francis, but I'm walking distance from Cudahy. Once you get into Cudahy, it's all white trash. You know you're going to get some good cheap ass, but good Chinese food, you know? Yeah, Chinese food is great. I haven't had it in forever. I think Mexican is the food I make the most because it's so easy.

Yeah. As she rolls her eyes at me, she's like, you always have Mexican food. But tacos are so easy. I mean, we just have a stack of tortillas here and then whatever protein you want. And then you just mix together vegetables. Yeah. I eat probably more Mexican food than any other food. I eat steak, tacos, basically every – probably a burrito four times out of the week,

especially because there's this guy at Cermak that I go to all the time, and I used to fuck with Cermak a lot with our burritos because this guy, he was the shit. He had made the best burritos ever. He had this neck tattoo and a face tattoo, so he didn't really have options. Burritos was kind of the thing that he was going to do. He made me a burrito every day, and he was fucking awesome,

but then they fired him because he fucking was doing heroin in the Well, no, he's like doing heroin in the bathroom. I'm like, dude, but he made a fucking good burrito. Let him stay. That's what he needs to do. Is he bothering anyone doing heroin in the bathroom? Yeah, who cares? No, it's not a good look. Whatever, dude.

If you're going to make me a bomb-ass burrito, I don't give a shit. So they fired him, and then they got this one guy, and he's a fucking mook, dude. I don't trust this guy because he comes in, and he's got glasses and a mustache, and he doesn't make a good burrito, though. But he doesn't do heroin. I think steak burrito. I think breakfast burrito is my favorite kind of burrito.

Breakfast burritos are the way to go. I'm just a big egg fan. I used to have four eggs a day. Really? Yeah. Maybe that's why I've been farting so much today, because I had a pound of eggs and hot dogs to start the day off. Eggs and hot dogs.

Do you put ketchup? Are you putting ketchup on your eggs? No, I put hot sauce on them. Okay, good. Ketchup on the eggs over there, I think, is insane. Oh, really? Yeah. You feel called out.

You're like, what? I mean, you were called out. I literally pointed at you. I was like, oh, my God. Ready? It's a countdown now. Five, four, three, two, one. No, I want to.

Should I move my phone when you do that? I don't know. Oh, no, you're good. I just I got to make sure I get a hot bed. Do you want edible, Rachel? Okay. I'm sorry. I just didn't want to be rough.

I didn't want to be hospitable, even though I'm in your guys' house. They don't look terrible. They don't look bad, dude. That one looks a little rough. Oh, yeah, that one. Should we show the camera sure i probably should do that'd be it that'd be the smart thing to do but i don't know how much content you're gonna get out of this podcast i'm gonna get

look at that i'll just post the raw audio of it just to say I have some for the week so I don't get lost in an algorithm or whatever. Let me get a spatula here. I'll just get these loosened up. Oh, they come right off. Rach, by chance, did you bring your pie dish? No, you're good. Yeah, I could have done like cupcake things, but I don't want... This was way

easier. This place was so clean before I started doing this. I'm going to give it like five more minutes for these things to cool down, and then we're going to try them and end this because this has been going on for a while. I'm going to try them and end this because this has been going on for a while i'm gonna try and find out we've been doing this um my guess is what's 7 30 probably close to an hour oh yeah i'm gonna go ride my bike after this like bicycle yeah dude i uh i i love my neighborhood because it's right on the lake

so i can follow that lake and it brings me all the way up to the city or all the way like down to racine so i can just stay on that say excuse me stay on that road you know and do you go to racine often uh i mean i have but like uh i'll probably bike there like once i'm actually biking in like three weeks four weeks uh with my buddy ricky we're gonna go to minneapolis we're by so we're like training for that right now it's pretty fun but we're just you're gonna bike to minnesota yeah it's gonna be fucking is that like a day-long trip no it's like three days uh yeah that's like three days first day we'll get to madison and then probably get a hotel and then just chill and then we're just gonna kind of go on the second yeah

because it's two nights on the third day we'll get there uh and then i don't know we'll see where we end up on the second day but we're just gonna bike it we routed it all we got like the google oh we're taking the train yeah we're fucking riding back i'm taking it yeah not taking the train it's like well we made it you know. You know what I mean? Get on back. Yeah, we're just going to take the train. I'm... Dude, those look pretty good, man. Fist pump, man. They're not terrible here.

I think you can give it better. It doesn't look bad. Well, it could. Put enough jelly, jam it. The filling was not great. The filling was liquid all right hold on one second cheers is it good i don't know it's like a warm pop tart it's like a yeah a warm homemade pop tart it needs like sugar on the top, like icing.

I bet this would be better for you than a Pop-Tart, though. Like all that shit. Dude, dip it in there. Dip it? Yeah. Like get the feeling. Well, you like one? Come on over.

They're not bad. They're not bad. They're not on over They're not bad They're not bad They're not great They're not great It's not great They don't taste good It's just hot It's just hot That's why I said it's hot

It's not because it tastes bad Come on I'm fine Oh fuck Hot Hot Hot Hot

Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot

Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot

Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot

Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot

Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot

Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot First couple bites weren't bad When did you get to the middle? What? When you get to the middle That's where it's more

I think if you have icing over the top of these And you had more filling Dip it in I don't have milk here Cool it maybe Yeah I don't care I don't know Maybe I don't either.

Maybe just for future. If you ever find yourself making mini pies. Blueberry mini pies. Well, whatever you're making next week, I get to pick next week? You get to pick next week. Okay. And I'll plan ahead better at camera stuff. And you can be here.

I just gotta be baking. Oh, this was her idea idea i have to specify that it was fine it was very chaotic i was very i know i was not expecting it at all it came in here i was like podcasts and he's like baking and podcasts and i was like all. So it was fun. I keep playing with this like it's putty, but it's not. And it's getting stuck in my fingernails. Can we go? Yeah. We're done.

Okay. All right. Bye.