Fat Chance Podcast - Ep.60 - Ray Roberts

Episode Date: August 18, 2022

Hailing all the way from Ohio and heading somewhere further west...

do it but yeah especially when it's like he just has like a normal job yeah so like it wouldn't be like he doesn't give a fuck if this pops you know what i mean yeah no he had the same thing where he's like he always wanted to do him because he think it'd be fun yeah and that's usually when things go off too we're like yeah these look good yeah so far um but that's usually when things go off because like you don't care you're not trying for it to work so it's just your genuine self yeah but at the same time if that switch flips from like i don't need to do this you don't put any effort into it that was the worst part of it yes and that's like that's what i try to do with comedy too is like you're doing this for fun no not even not even i mean it's fun yeah just the fact that like that's the reason why

like you get into it and that's why you like i was telling so like a couple people from work came to like uh the uh fucking what laughs on tap laughing tap oh yeah laughing tap mic and they were like after you it was like a real fall off and i was like yeah dude it's an open mic it's supposed to be bad like this is where people don't understand like that's practice that's but that's where work is yeah i was talking to brandon wine about it because he was like yeah summer is like really a grind and i was like yeah i mean it's it's a grind but like this is when you put the work in for like the fall and winter when like all the fun like the fun is real shows yeah like open mics are work like i see and

it's fun to like have fun and dick off and like and i do it too because it's an open mic fuck it but like that's where like that's where i'm working like i'm clocking in i do my time and then i leave like sometimes i i'm kind of with you on that one where i'm like i don't need to stay the whole time i'm like i'm clock in clock out but it is also nice to hang around with some people for a while for sure but they're also nice we're like we both still have real jobs like i gotta be up at 6 a.m i can't be drinking with everyone right now until on a tuesday until they're like yeah there are times where i have to be up at fucking three 45 in the morning because I work at a goddamn coffee shop.

And, but I mean, it gives me like the flexibility to like, I'm going to be gone for half of September. Yeah, that's sweet. And it's just like, I don't like,

I'm still going to have a job. Don't have to use it. I'm not going to get paid for it, but I don't have to use vacation time. Like whatever. Wait, explain that entire road trip again to me. So starting in california right

i'm flying to la so me and my are we recording this part okay we've been recording basically i know we were checking like it doesn't matter that's all i like to start because it's just natural yeah just maybe like ready go cut it off right like when i use the n-word um this is gonna be a five minute podcast i didn't say the last time i said the first time but uh no so like uh my buddy tyler ross who lives in chicago now um i met him so i started in kent ohio and he's like from there and that's where he started um so he moved to chicago like i think five or six years ago. Um, and it's just like your buddies that you stay in touch with. Um, and he's like full-time working

the road all the time now. Um, so I'll text him from time to time and be like, yo, my September's dry. Do you have like a run that I can get on? And I just hit him up and I was like, my September and October look like shit right now. Um, and I I need to like I just feel like stagnant when that happens like I haven't been doing the work all the places that I email all the time are just like we're full for the rest of the year um so I'm flying out to LA to meet him out there he has a wedding in Vegas and then um he also does these like cool apartment shows so like an apartment complex like this and a lot of them in their leases they have like you have to have so many like entertainment nights um so he like will do it's called put on events um i'm a big commercial just for tyler ross right now but um he like it's called put on events

they come they do a comedy show it's all good people um but it's usually like because a band is like way more expensive than running a comedy night so he goes and does that so like we have he has one of those in la and then he'll just like book shit around that and like do a run so i'm meeting him in la we're doing two nights la one night outside of reno then we're going up to boise then down to salt lake city then up to billings montana north dakota then minneapolis then down through wisconsin again fuck it's gonna be so much it's gonna be a lot i bet it's like but that's stuff when you look back on it like this shit was fun and that's where it's like it's gonna be i've never i've been to california when i was a kid but, never been to, like, there's no reason for me to go to fucking Montana. Like, I'm not a billionaire.

I'm not trying to, like, tax shelter and, like, buy Buffalo. And you're not trying to, like, get off the grid either. No. Well, this weekend. But, like, yeah, I'm not, like, running from. The door county. I'm not running from the law. Like, I don't need to, like, get a horse farm or whatever.

It'd be fun. Everyone's, like, it'd be so fun to have. You have friends who are like, one day I just want to, like, own a barn and, like, horses and chickens. And just, I'm like, no, you don't. But those people have it figured out. Like, I mean, yes, it's a lot of work. But, like, don't you kind of just, like, respect the, like, let's just. Like, the lifestyle of, like, the Republicans who, like, they have their one house and like they're 800 yards or like whatever it is.

Eight yards, acres. 800 yards. You can tell I'm really kicking into this lifestyle. But like they just like wake up. They just have to worry about their shit. They have to keep like everything alive. And then like that's their life. And then.

It's a very humble, respectful life. Yeah. No, the people that can do it absolutely i'm talking about the people who like our age that live in the city like i'm older like i think i'm just gonna like retire to a bar and like raise chickens and goats i'm like you can barely do your own laundry yeah you're not gonna keep a group of chickens you're not gonna retire either retirement doesn't exist anymore yeah unless this works out you're not retiring dude like that's my every time i'll do like those like shows up in rhinelander and like up in like northern wisconsin every time i'm up there it's

like if i just had like enough money to have a helicopter this would be like the perfect spot to have like a weekend house or something oh yeah like it there's nobody and because it's i yes i want a helicopter fuck the four-hour drive no yeah fuck that like it's a perfect spot like you can just go you can unplug for the weekend you can hunt fish whatever the fuck i don't do either of those things but like i'll go sit at a lake yeah i'll just stare at a lake just hit some mushrooms stare at a lake and then go back on monday so so calming way more calming than the ocean i think but that's because we grew up around lakes i think that's what it is is like lakes and rivers i've become like a real river guy lately like just and especially if i've got time to kill i'll just like real white trash well yeah i mean but i also grew up by like a

river too so it's like i mean that's where you like take chicks to make out at is down by the river. Like that's where like you go to like smoke weed is over by the river because worst case scenario, you jump in. You just wrote like the beginning of a country song right there. Yeah. This is how we make millions of dollars. Absolutely. But that's what, like the ocean's's scary like it's just so big that's the thing is like when you look at a when i look at a lake i think everyone here has been like if i just was dropped off in the middle could i make it to shore yes i could make it to shore i mean it's gonna be tiring and exhausting but you could make it to shore someone dropped you in the middle

you're dead not like michigan though not like like yeah so i like grew up in like the suburbs of toledo which is like by lake erie which is like fine it's big it's whatever it's one of the great lakes but it's like then you're always like oh superior michigan or so much bigger and then you'd like go like anytime i'd be in cleveland or whatever you like look just the horizons fucking water yeah that's how i like but here it's just like it's forever like you're never if you're dropped in that like you're fucked oh absolutely that i've had friends that go fishing out there and they're like dude we went too far it scared the shit out of me it's an ocean it's basically like a sea or an ocean but like just a normal like uh we went to mirror lake not too long ago just Just did some kayaking over there. It's west somewhere. I don't know.

Cool. Google Maps took me. There's a lot of things west of us. Yeah, my girlfriend looked it up. Google Maps took me there. I don't even try. Since I've moved to Milwaukee, people will be like, I'll tell them where Laugh-In-Tap is. I'll be like, it's by Hamburger Mary's.

And they'll be like, what neighborhood is that in? I'm a big uh what's it like monument direction guy yeah i'm not a no north south east west or what street is this on yeah i'm getting better with streets the longer i've lived down here i've only lived down here for four months so okay so i'm still learning i don't know what street laughing tab is on my head people like where is i'm, you know where the clock tower, like the Rockwell clock tower is? It's towards that. Yeah. It's in that.

It's by. You could throw a rock. Well, and that's what I'm like, Hamburger Mary's. And they're like, what's that? And I was like, it's a burger place I ate at once. That it says it's famous on the wall. So I assume everybody around here knows. I've never heard of it.

That's like world's best coffee. It's basically like a gay bar that makes hamburgers. So like the, and I was about, I was going to go to the Laughing Tap the first time. And I was like, all right, I'm going to get there too early because that's just what I do. And I'll like find somewhere to eat. Like what's a good burger spot or something. And it said Hamburger Mary's. It's like sick, whatever.

So I like walk in and there's like gay pride flags everywhere and i was like okay cool like gay like everybody's this is how i'm gonna tell everyone where laughing tap is from now on yeah like gay burger bar you get your meat and some buns but like but like no you're just like it was like all right cool because it's happened to me like a thousand times it's not to be like that oh i stumbled into a gay bar but like yeah there happened in cleveland it was best chicken wings i've ever had was at a gay bar in cleveland that's gone at now but like you walk and you're like oh cool gay pride pride flags like they're about it like it's 2022 like everybody's about it and then you just like sit there and like drag queens start coming out of nowhere and like setting up for drag queen bingo which is like the most if you think an

open mic is depressing watching somebody in half drag makeup like they're just like in the unitard but they haven't like glammed up yet yeah like you seeing them set up just like mad carrying a table and a leotard like imagine setting up an open mic with your dick sandwiched between your legs like how like how mad you would be like you don't even like three people show up, like, three people show up. Yeah. All comics. Right, right. It's three other drag people that host it as well. Yeah. So, but, like, they're setting it up. And I was like, oh, like, this is, like, a real, like, gay establishment.

Okay, cool. And I was just like, the burgers were fine. What do you think is the ideal food for a gay bar? Not even a gay bar, like, gay restaurant. Yeah. Like, what is the most, what do you think is the most stereotypical food or think they'd be best at? Hot dogs. Hot dogs?

Corn dogs would be a good one. Like a gay carnival restaurant. Gay carnival restaurant? Because there's something, like if we're going purely off of stereotypes. Yeah, strictly off stereotypes. Not ones that we created, not ones that we believe in no we're here to get canceled there's something you made it past the five minutes i'm proud of you but like we uh like funnel cakes like there's something like like fair food is just kind of the gayest

food if you think about it cream puffs especially if you're wisconsin cream puffs, especially if you're Wisconsin. Oh, yeah. Cream puffs, corn dogs, just phallic shaped. Is Wisconsin State Fair gay? Funnel cakes, they got powder all over them. Powdered sugar just kind of seems fabulous. I feel like a caramel apple is kind of gay. Loosely? Yeah. Nothing better to bite into?

So, like, I mean, it makes sense, which. I like it. Yeah. So carnival food. Carnivalival food food of the gays food yeah that's not gonna go well um i mean whatever did you go to the fair at all no fuck no i grew up in like a town that like was right outside of a county fair so like i i went a thousand times as a kid so like this one's just gonna be bigger and more expensive. No thanks. I go every year with my mom just to try the new foods. The new... Like, is there, like, an upgrade to fucking...

No, they have, like... Fried Oreos? They have something called Sporkies, so they have, like, finalists of, like, the best new things that they came out with. So, like, instead of, like, a burger in between two Krispy Kremes, there's a hot dog in between two Krispy Kremes.

I'm like, I'm not gonna eat that. Like, you pick and choose what you think sounds good. Do you put it in, like, do you just put it in the holes? Like, I don't know. I didn't try. It's just, like, nine donuts. But I was like, because some of them were terrible. Like, just, I'm like, how are you a finalist?

There's a lot of things with bugs on it. Nice. I'm like, we're, they're running out of things. That's the food of the future, dude. They're running out of things to do. And I was like, Mom, if you were to pick a food to like if you could create a fair food what would yours be i mean i wish you would have asked me this a week ago so i could prep you know that's the fun of it like real quick like a wisconsin fair food oh obviously cheese is involved obviously it's got to be fried i mean cheese curds already exist

yeah but like that was the thing like one of the finalists was like batter infused cheese curds they were terrible that doesn't even make sense but like i could see like like a corn dog with like cheese curd batter like i don't know if you could just like cover it in cheese and then fry it. It's not bad. Something like that. I think that one of the most Wisconsin things you could do if you did like a Wisconsin,

uh, kebab. So instead of like, you know, like a normal kebabs, like chicken, vegetables, tomato,

it was like cheese, curd, brat, jalapeno, jalapeno popper, whatever, whatever. It's just like a smorgasbord. Do you guys claim brat jalapeno popper whatever whatever it's just like a smorgasbord do you guys claim the jalapeno popper i don't know but there's a lot of jalapeno popper things this year i think jalapeno poppers are like tgi fridays i think fridays owns that and i don't like jalapeno poppers i do too they're really good do you like them deep fried and like

breaded or just half a like i, I like the grilled ones too. Like just covered in bacon, just the jalapeno and some cream cheese inside. I don't need it fried. Either way. I mean, but it's got to be, cause I'm not like a super spicy fan. Like I like heat. Take the seeds out. Yeah.

You got to take the seeds out and then it's fine. Maybe put the heat in the cream cheese kind of thing. That's not a bad idea. That's not a bad idea. See, we just started a restaurant. We had a country song. country song we had a restaurant country song we haven't said any bad words yet pretty much we did we started we started two restaurants we started our menu and we created the menu of the gays if selena gomez gets the hang of this one too i want you to know we want you involved instantly you can be the face can i can we do

selena gomez real quick i don't know why so i've been very scatterbrained i'm on new like meds for my adhd but um selena gomez is involved with my favorite youtube video of all time um it was on like tosh.0 a hundred years ago and it's like the creep it's it's called creepy guy talks about selena gomez and it's like this creepy dude with like a microphone like this standing in front of a blank white wall and he's got like these shitty glasses and he goes selena gomez am i in love with her yes like just like and there's two of them and like it's the funniest like i'll just be like selena gomez she controls my heart like and it's like just he's talking to a wall just talking to like it's straight

dead into the camera like like the walls behind him and it is just like i took the couch away and you did that we could recreate this oh i've like this has been loosely one of my dreams like recreated but it's one of those like niche videos that like I reference it all the time. Yeah. And it's like, like me, my girlfriend and maybe like three P maybe Selena Gomez might know what it was. Like if it reached her because that guy's probably on like a watch list. My shit reached her.

That probably reached her if it was on Tosh.0. So how did that happen? Is that just like the magic of tiktok of like that that segment got picked up by other people and then it just kind of went yeah it was by no means like i had people like dude congrats it's awesome keep working i'm like that was dumb luck yeah is what it was now is it a product of me constantly putting stuff out and one of them finally hit? Kind of. Yeah. But that video before had a couple hundred thousand views. And for the sound alone. Yeah.

Like there was a few thousand people that used it. And that video came out in March of this year. Okay. And it was the first podcast I did in this apartment actually with my roommates. I had no one to ask to do it. Still brand new at this. I'm like, I'm not going to ask any comics to do it. And then my buddy texted me two weeks ago on Wednesday,

just a video of Selena Gomez, and the other message hadn't come through yet. I'm like, why are you sending me this, Joe? And he goes, dude, it's you. I just dropped everything at work. I go, no fucking way that's wild it was wild it's just one of those things where i think some people the way they create tiktoks is like they look for the voiceovers so i guess mine popped up i mean if a few thousand

people you would use it it's fairly popular yeah and i guess mine popped up she used it and i mean it alone did nothing i mean i think what it did is it put my account into like whatever chinese algorithm yeah tiktok has and so i took advantage of it i was like i'm gonna post what i think is what i found the most entertaining video i have which i did and that blew up which is how I think most of like the recent success came from but it was cool like I honestly have no clue how she found it if she found it if someone on her team found it was like you should do this yeah and well that's like the create like that's why I think I've aged out of TikTok my Instagram so like my social media is terrible because I do like the, the old school, like,

when I grew up, because I'm 32, so, like, when the internet came out, like, eBombs world, YouTube barely existed, like, it was, like, what's the most niche thing you can think of that other people will know, and that was kind of, like, before, like, the algorithms took over and was, like, what's going to be the thing that climbs and gets people to stay on their phone the longest? It was, like, it was almost, like, that perfect, like, oh, this is where I'm going to go to talk about Selena Gomez random video. Like, and then that catches instead of, like, oh, Selena Gomez did it, so other people are going to want to do it. We got to put that forward. So, like, it's really cool when something like that catches instead of like those people

who are like oh this is a trend sound let me get some like random views out of it where you're just like i'm just gonna do my shit and then it pops like and that's fun yeah it feels because i'm not gonna be the one that does voiceovers or anything like that i'm just putting these clips out that i find entertaining yeah it just so happened that it caught and I couldn't ask for like a better person to do it besides maybe like the Melio. Yeah. Um, but I mean, I said in, uh, one of the podcasts I did with Avery, like my dad texted me cause I put it all over my Instagram story.

I'm like, this is cool. Like I can be proud of this one. And he goes, do you know the girl in your Instagram story? He goes, if so, that's cool. If not, still cool. One of the most famous people over the last 20 years. Yeah. And then later he goes, I know who Selena Gomez is.

I just didn't recognize her. Okay. Knows the name. Hey, Selena Gomez, sorry about the lupus. Hope that's going well. Way to look out for her well-being. Hey, man. It's one of those things where, like. What's lupus. Hope that's going well. Way to look out for her well-being. Hey, man. It's one of those things where like...

What's lupus? It's something... You know... Something that Selena Gomez is working really hard to make awareness for. So I know it's a thing. And I know she has it. And I'm sorry, but... Is it where we need someone to be like Googling it over here?

Yeah. I think it's when you turn into a werewolf but no uh that's no wizard she did wizards of waverly place but oh wizards but she's also on um i'm a big fan of murders only murders in the building there's a lot of people that have been telling me to watch that lately and i i haven't watched it. It's one of those, like, because it's got Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez in it. And it's, like, all based around, like, a true crime podcast. And so, like, I thought that it was going to, and it's on Hulu. So I was like, this is going to be the most corny bullshit. And so we watched episode one, and at the end of it, I was like, motherfucker.

Like, this thing rules. It's so good. All right, I got to watch it now i have to i just i'm afraid to get into shows yeah there's too much shit i'm afraid to get into shows and it's like well mainly because i don't want to waste my time like today i got up went to work got here showered doing this immediately like if i get it if i get it because i have a little bit of an addictive personality or i'll be at work and be like if i have downtime in the office i can just put it on like that's not productive i could be editing this instead i know if i'm not into a show i'll get more work

done well and that's like i stopped i can't play video games anymore like i almost got kicked out of college like before video games were like a career yeah like it like i almost got kicked out of college because I was failing because the internet was so good that I would just play NCAA 09 like online basketball or football football football okay like I played against and like I played against the number one ranked dude and only lost by like a couple touchdowns I was pretty excited about it that's pretty good yeah it's not bad and like but that was also the year that you had to pass tests and keep your GPA up and shit. So I was working on my player's GPA while skipping class.

It was just a wild dichotomy. You were working on a computer program's GPA. Not your own. No, fuck it. Whatever. So now if I get a new video game, the last new video game i got was when we moved here and i didn't have a job and i was like you can only look for a job for so long like in the day like i've got it wears you out yeah for work i'll do it and i found one pretty quick but i had like

two weeks without a job and i just like i was like i'm gonna buy a video game and i'm gonna do everything like that's just what i'm gonna do Yeah. I did that too in the pandemic. I bought Assassin's Creed, and I didn't finish it, but now I don't have time. The PlayStation isn't even plugged in. I threw mine on. We watched Grease the other day. That's the reason why we plugged it back in. But I threw it on and tried to play, and I was like, this is fucking – whatever.

Who cares? I can't get invested in it. Something clicked, and I've said it on here before. Something clicked to me in college because i tried to get because i like video games video games are fun like the concept i enjoy them yeah and it's nice for me it's a sunday thing it's raining like i don't i have an excuse not to go outside i'll play one maybe but i'll play 30 minutes and then i go this isn't benefiting me at all. And I think it clicked with Call of Duty stuff. So when I really liked video games like MW2, everyone did that.

And then I like just looked at the game. I go, what is the purpose of this? Like I beat the story and then you're just doing online. Okay. I was like, okay, i'm going online to play strangers all i'm trying to do is kill them to get experience to get a new gun that sounds the same as the gun i was using before just looks a little different to get the next one to get the next one they all sound the same regardless of the maybe you change the scope and then you get to the

highest level and you're like you know it'd would be fun? If I did it again. And it's just a constant loop. I'm like, you're going nowhere. Well, now you have to buy it. It's a hamster wheel. What's the fucking real big one? Fortnite? Yes.

I tried playing it. Because at first, you're just like, whatever. It's bubbly. Never played a game of Fortnite in my life. Proud to say that. It's perfectly fine. It's just like there's too many people who are too good at it already and that was my thing with like call of duty is like and i know that they do like the ranking system and like because i used to play halo

online all the time and like on old school xbox like yeah so when you like do like the butter knife mod and all that crazy shit like so we would play it then but they did a good job of like matching you like in your weight class where like and i know people who like purposely um god what was the other one um you could play it on um pub g like like uh it's like another i know it's a really big game but i couldn't even tell you what it looked like so it's like fortnight but like before like it was the same idea as fortnight but like you're basically just like more realistic okay um and so like you get on there but like people have been playing it for far too long and like there's people who have like alternate accounts so like they have like their main one where they're playing like high level shit but to like

practice and like squads and shit like they just want like beginner level stuff to like try new stuff and you're just like this isn't even fun like just turning it on and just dying 100 times immediately yeah i knew i couldn't do those games anymore is when you do like the kill cams like who killed you yeah and then their screen is moving like this fucking fast and my sensitivity is on like medium i'm going like this so i can't keep up you know what my brother still plays it and he's like some people like that's just their vice. Like that's how they relax at the end of the night. And there's nothing wrong with that.

Like it's the same thing as watching Friends for the 19th time. But he's like unreal at video games, like tournaments and shit like that. And I find enjoyment watching him sometimes. I'm like, dude, how do you know this guy's there? Like he's one of those guys where if I logged on now and he killed me right away like i'm fucking done like this man is too good but it's like he's using the mouse and just like throws it that way he does like 360 kills like 12 people these people like they like know the maps like they do it so much where they know and i mean there was a time it's a quick twitch too it's actually quite a skill yeah no like i would never shit on anybody like i knew that i was done

with video games because like there's a like right when it started getting like popular and like people started getting paid for it i was like i used to do this shit all the time let's like let's put some energy into it but like i played with my buddy and just like where his like site like line of sight like was standard to like headshots and i was like oh my buddy and just like where his like sight like line of sight like was standard to like headshots and i was like oh so we're just like completely different worlds now like you'd made that small adjustment that i would have never thought of like i'm done like if that's like and you're decent like what's somebody who's really good gonna do yeah no i it's just my big thing is i can't that and after 30 minutes like i just wasted so much time so much time well getting set up and then like getting into like the zone and especially

with like some games like you have to like really if you haven't played for a while like grand theft auto 5 learning it yeah like i i wasted so much time in grand theft auto 5 but like you're just like in it like go home or go to work come come home, and you're just, like, plugged in. Like, and then for, like, the first 20 minutes, you're, like, getting back into, like, all right, this is how I do this. This is how I do that. And then you're just, like, all right, now I'm in. And then, like, what are you, like, the rest of you, you don't sleep well afterwards because your fucking brain's all firing. Well, it's also, like, you can't help but think it's when people get into like those ones

like that's a version that's the version of the themselves they want to be yeah because if you go straight from work where you go to like survive pay to survive and you go right into a virtual world and you don't do anything with yourself i'm like are you even happy with and i don't like not trying to say it's bad to do it but i'm like there is something to say like if you're not socialized and you're just building that character it's not great i mean that's what that's what comedy that's fair that's fair no i tell stories about my life i'm a good person i like who i am i mean i do too but like it was one of those like that's like straight up and it's and I've been telling a lot of people this like that was like before the pandemic like the pandemic ruined me

like I thought my life like and it wasn't even like I was afraid to die I thought like comedy was dead forever and that was like right at the time where like I was like I'm going all in with this shit that's all I'm doing um I had like and I knew we all in with this shit. That's all I'm doing. Um, I had like, and I knew we were moving over here, but like I had stuff like booked through the summer to like kind of move West and like introduce myself before I came and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Then like right as soon as we pulled the trigger on it, like that's when it all shut down. So I was like, well, who the fuck am I now without it? And then like like, you just have to, like, you're just a disaster all the time. Just, like, a dick, like, all the time because I don't have, like, my outlet.

You don't have an identity. Don't have an identity. And then, like, last year, straight up, like, when, like, COVID was whatever because, like, that's when I was, like, very, like, I'm going to do it regardless. Fuck it. Like, nobody's going to stop me from doing this. Whatever. But then when, like like omicron hit and

it was like oh we might shut everything down again like that's when i was like all right i need to like have on those like the common cold yeah but like yeah you know how like the hype was like oh we're gonna start shutting shit down again and it was like i can't do this again like i was afraid to like be heartbroken again so i was like fuck it not doing like i'm just not gonna do it like if anybody like if somebody asked me to be on a show or like somebody emails me i'll say yes but i'm not looking for it and then it was just like i did a show um with zoltan kazis he was back in town and i just like shot a flyer like hey i'd love to come see you if you need an opener i'll open for you and he's like oh yeah go like just as like a haha like whatever yeah and he's like yeah like you can open whatever

and then i did like a 10 minute spot and i was like fuck me like this is so fun it is so fun but it's like it's fun with like like when you have a life outside of it and that's where like i see so many people who are like and that's been like the hardest thing of like not like cracking into like a new scene because like whatever it is what it is but like just like when you see those people who are like their entire life is revolved around it and then i'm just like yes it's fun that's why i like doing it but i'm also like it's also a job now like i'm trying to make money doing it so i'm gonna go do my time and then i'm gonna go like live my life that and i always struggled even talking about doing stand-up like i don't give any advice there's none but my philosophy on is like i think the best people the best comics even now have their own lives outside

of this because like for me that's where i get material i can't constantly just be like with the comedy do you know what drives me nuts more than anything is going to a show like a legit show and somebody going well i was at this other show or like this happened at the show that i was just at and you're like all right cool like you're all in their act yeah like if it's a constant thing yeah if it's an actual funny thing sure no yeah like i mean that's like a setup but also wouldn't it be funnier if that happened somewhere else like not at a show or if like something legit crazy happened at a show where you're like i have to make a bit about this yeah or it like fits into something else but

it's like most people like i said like the people that came and watched me at an open mic like they had no idea that just like oh like they thought it was like a record they keep calling it a show it's like no i need you guys to know but it's an open mic oh my god that's not what my friends like when's your next show i'm like well i have the open mic on friday or wednesday like we're bringing everyone i'm like i don't know if you want to do that no you don't like it's not fun like because like i want them to tell them i was like i don't know if you want to do that no you don't like it's not fun like because like i want them to i would tell them i was like i want you to i people at work that i train but we really want to come see you perform i'm like well every friday i host and

hosting is a little different because like you see me constantly and i like hosting i actually try and like right when i'm hosting with other people's stuff um not like i'm stealing it but it's just easy to riff off them yeah but i'm like i don't want you to come to an open mic because it's you're gonna watch 30 people and after you see me if i do well great if i do bad even worse though because now you got 30 other people you got to watch you forget about what i did and you're like oh that was cool but the night wasn't fun like i want you to enjoy the whole night. Yeah nothing against the high note but it's a karaoke bar. Like it's not like so we're doing comedy at a spot where everybody in the crowd wants to sing their own song.

So like they don't give a shit. The last two weeks I can say we've actually been pretty good. Which is good. I'm not like shitting on that. Like it's like I love that they like let us do us do comedy it's a great place to do it yeah but like you see like a bunch of people like half the time like the one show that we did where he's like hey we got to stop the singing so these basically so these assholes can do their show yeah and then uh if you stay through the whole thing i'll buy you a shot yeah that. That's why seven people stayed. I agree with you wholeheartedly with that.

Here's my thing with the high note. Evan has recently put so much effort into doing it that he's actually talking to me like, I want actually people to come see you guys do comedy. He's about to put in some serious money for the comics here. It's kind of cool to see. But I agree. There was a point where it's just like the thursday showcases you got six people there and he even recognizes like this isn't benefiting you or me at all like because it is a karaoke bar people come to do that so taking away that

business for them yeah um isn't helping so they're like oh why would i even come on thursday if there's a... The people that come once, that one time for karaoke and they run into comedy are going to think, oh, that happens every Thursday, so he lost them forever. Yeah. So I think he decides like, no, I'm going to put so much effort into this

comedy thing too because he goes, I have the karaoke market. Bringing comedy then too will be great. And if it's like once a month when i think he's very any if he packs the house too it's gonna be great well what's the smart thing that they do about it too is like they know that it's like they don't i've never felt like pressure to like do super super well like yeah like you like it's still like a good environment to like work on stuff absolutely um so it's like it's good for that and work on stuff. Absolutely. So it's like, it's good for that.

And like, you're like where it is too. You're going to get a decent cross section of like insane people, college students. Yeah. You're loose up there no matter what. So it's good. And,

but like the, you see so many spots that do open mics for like a little bit. And like what, what happens with open mics is they go through like waves of like having people go to them. Yeah. So like right now, like the wave is going up for them. mean school's coming back all that other shit but

like in the summer when you're like you're not losing money but you're also not making money because you're just kind of staying open it's yeah you're staying open you have the same knuckleheads coming in for like whatever their one free drink they may buy another drink afterwards they might tip the bartenders like they like it's kind of like and then like your staff has to listen to bad comedy which like it's open mic so most of it's bad everybody has good jokes or whatever but like yeah it's not like you're working at a comedy club where you're seeing people kill every show um so it's like it's like a grind on like your business and i don't think enough like bar owners or whoever

or like people who sell open mics to places like hey if you thought or like they like they just go into it like oh we can bring tons of business to your spot and it's like you almost just like everybody involves kind of trying to cash in short term and then it just kind of loses it when it gets like tough and then it moves on but you kind of have to go through the cycles of it you have to especially if you like run a because i helped run it was like one of the longest uh running ones in ohio and i just like helped him book it every once in a while like i didn't like i wasn't really involved with it like i tried to keep it going right before covid and uh like it like there would just be times like we're in a basement yeah like it's just the comics

on the show and then there'd be like the next week that whole place would be just like packed out like they didn't have enough beer for everybody down there and then for like three weeks it'd just be like dead and you're just like you're holding on for that one night where everybody shows up when you don't have the name to go behind it it's hard to keep something like that busy so like think of like a college bar um or any like college campus i think every college campus has like one to two bars that like you know they're going to be busy but every once in a while there's some word gets around you're like you know what let's go here tonight yeah and that place is just stupid packed that night that's kind of what this is like every once in a while the word is like oh this was fun let's try it next week and that's like kind of half crowded

and like oh die down and then it's just like it's that cycle like every once in a while someone gets the itch to do something different and well especially now if you think about it like so like i started doing comedy in a college town so like people think like oh kids are like afraid to like it's like no it's just got to be funny like if you're gonna like play with certain subjects like they've got to be funny they've got to be nuanced like you've got to like get everybody along with you but like now like like you just say just like that at that showcase when i was like how do we feel about nazis just saying the word like i remember just saying that like the set was going well yeah just

saying the word like just flipped a switch like they didn't it didn't matter like that you were gonna make fun of them yeah like obviously it's just like a ridiculous question to ask. Yeah. Obviously everybody hates them. And then like, you just like, like just that word like shuts it. And that's like, it's a societal thing. But if you just think like,

if somebody was partially paying attention to that. Yeah. And I say the word Nazi, then all of a sudden they go, Oh, this is the guy that talks about Nazis. And like, that's the thing that sticks not like the

other so you almost have to like pay attention to that too because like that'll get like that oh they talk and like kent where i was like for a while people were like this is where people work out rape jokes and it's like no there was just one guy who was obsessed with rape jokes who doesn't even do comedy anymore yeah five years ago he did this and like you get that stink sometimes it's also a product of like i don't know what bars you're doing yet but if the if you go somewhere for like i want to go listen to comedy and i your mind's already open you're like yeah comics are going to talk about some weird shit but if you're going to karaoke and then a random schmuck gets on stage and goes what about the nazis you're like where the fuck are we and that's like i always love and it's like comedy is such a fun i always say that

comedy is like country music now like everybody had like there's so many niche parts of it where like you could like there are people like we do comedy but there are people selling out rooms that we don't know exist exactly because they're in that in that, like, fucking, not, Charlie Barron's sells out, like, there's probably somebody. Dude, he sold out the State Fair. Sold out the goddamn State Fair. Avery took me backstage for the performance. Dude, he did so fucking well.

But, like, that's wild. And so, like, if you ask somebody in New York, and I know that people know Charlie and all that stuff, like, so he's not a great example but like somebody like that like the fucking jp sears guy that comes up to like skyline he does like that hippie guy on facebook he right no clue sells out every time he goes somewhere so like i remember because that was omicron shut down like they did the uh um capacity limits at skyline dude sold out eight shows completely sold them out at skyline then they cut the capacity down to 50 and he was just like it's not worth it for me to come

now with 50 people what was the capacity before i mean i think that room holds at least 200 oh damn so i mean he's he's selling i mean what's eight times to, like, 1,600 people at $20 a pop. Like, I'm assuming he's got a door deal. Like, so, like, that's stupid cash where that instantly gets cut into a quarter of that. But, like, so, like, there's people like that all over. But if you get into, like, that weird, like, niche thing, then you're going to get lost in the sauce, too. like that like that weird like niche thing then you're gonna get lost in the sauce too and it's i forget like the the original part of it is but like you can oh if somebody like goes to a comedy show like they're going to go see karaoke and you'll see people like you'll see

comedians be like oh it's so funny that like we're gonna ruin this bar's night because they didn't even know it's comedy it's like no you just made these people think that all comedy sucks yeah when there's legitimately something for these people oh yeah like that's and it's just like you just ruin it as soon as you like when i i work at a coffee shop and like coffee shop like all the stereotypes of coffee shop people are true like it's like island of misfit toys there's a bunch of like like everybody's like gay or lesbian or like bi or whatever like so like sorority girl doing homework sorority like everything like every like people we don't like a lot of people like just like we're snobby but like we're like overly accepting of like the the misfits all that and as soon as i was like oh i do comedy like a lot of people are like oh

and it's like no like it's not i'm not up here just telling you not to get vaccinated exactly at the end of the day people need to realize we're genuinely just trying to make you laugh like we we're doing this because i like having fun up there yeah and it should be fun for everyone now not everyone is good at it no and even the good people have bad days but it genuinely like i do like you said i'm not trying to be like oh you know what rogan is the ruler yeah don't get vaccinated um and then i do a trump impersonation and then tell you the nazis are cool yeah like that's not what that is like everyone's got different brands you can see it in every open mic scene everyone has a different brand and i think there is someone for everyone

too some people have more than others though well and that's what like i and it's something that i tried and it's like i don't sit down and be like what will girl age 19 to 28 think of this but like i like tried to think of because i love watching like female comedians right now because it's just like i've seen so many dick jokes but like to see a woman do it it's the other side of a dick joke yeah like they just inherently wake up with like a point of view i've never seen before so i think that's a lot more fun because like most of these jokes like you've seen like the trope and you're like oh i knew like i know where it's going yeah right but like even if it's just like a dumb like pussy sex period penis like whatever like you want to say about female comedy and like the downside of it like it's something

that i have no it's good for like just anyone writing watch both just to watch other people do it yeah simply for the other point of view because then it trains your mind to look at the other point and so when i'm like writing something and i think it's funny like i'll just like i'll like write it out and i'll be like all right now what does like i want somebody's girlfriend to like that joke or somebody's like daughter that's at the show. Like I don't, cause if you think about it, um,

dudes will go to comedy shows by themselves. Yeah. And, and it's kind of how I've like tricked myself into it or myself into it. Dudes will go to comedy shows. They'll bring their girlfriend, but their girlfriend's not having a good time. And that's usually when they cause a problem.

But if you show up and like chicks dig you at your comedy show and not even like oh i want to like bang the comedian like they like your comedy i saw with dustin nickerson when i just worked with them like they'll come up and they'll be like oh i had to bring my boyfriend instead of one ticket that's two tickets yeah and he's there and he's not going to be an asshole most of the time because it's like whatever um so like i i've almost thought about it because like i know that we're not supposed to believe that men and women are that different but like dude humor is different like absolutely yeah like so like if i'm sitting here chopping it up with you that's going to be different than like if your girl was here my girlfriend was here we're going

to act a little differently so like that's what i try to write around is like what is like somebody's girlfriend going to think about this joke? Are they like, even like I have a dick joke, but it took me so long to write a dick joke because I didn't want to like get into a dick joke. But this was like, oh, how ridiculous. Like this dude, like his girlfriend told him his dick was big. Yeah. Like just to like pump up.

Yeah. Like to pump up his ego. And it's like, like somebody's girlfriend going to be like, oh yeah, like that. I've done that. Right. And you're just like, all right, now I've got two people. And it's like somebody's girlfriend is going to be like, oh, yeah. I've done that. Right. And you're just like, all right, now I've got two people. You've got both sides. Instead of just like the one.

And so like I'll watch. I don't steal anything from them. But like I'll watch female comedians and be like, oh, I can take this like stupid joke that I have that's like, I don't know. I can't like nail one of my jokes down. um i don't know like i can't i can't like nail one of my jokes down but like oh the one like i have like that mask joke about like how girls were like selling their underwear online yeah and so like i just was like i added like a little tag to it i'll be like oh like you know your friend that runs an etsy store like this is the one that she like this is what she does on the side it doesn't tell you about like and then like that gets like you'll get dudes who are like weird

and creepy like they know what it is but then you like get the chicks who like know their friends that run it like then you get them in too and you're like now everybody's in that's kind of like i have one where and i just did it in madison where i have like like my buddy can't sex or he had like a instance where he just like tried sexting and like a girl sent him a pic and he had the most outrageous response. And I was like, if you don't find this funny or stupid, let me switch the roles real quick.

And then like a girl getting a dick pic instead of a guy getting a nude. And then it's like, all right, everyone's received a picture before. So it's like, they both get it. Yeah. Yeah.

And then you bring everybody in. Cause like, I think that like so many people are so ready to be defensive now. Oh, my God, yeah. Because they want to, like, and I don't think it's a bad thing. Like, so many people have, like, abused. I don't want to be, like, social justice warrior right here. But, like, they've abused, like, what their platform, what they're saying.

And, like, in search of a laugh, yes. But they also, like, want to push, like, whatever platform what they're saying and like in search of a laugh yes but they also like want to push like whatever stupid agenda they have um instead of and i'll circle back to it but i had to talk to this guy about dave chappelle on like why i don't think he's funny anymore because like i would be so pissed if i paid a hundred dollars a ticket to go see him and he's talking about his netflix contract like could you fucking believe that like paying two hundred dollars parking getting a babysitter and then he's talking about like netflix contract like could you fucking believe that like paying 200 parking getting a babysitter and then he's talking about like netflix or like trans people like be funny like that's all i want you to do so like people are afraid of like what do you think about nazis they think that like

some sort of like oh pro nazi i'm being ironic but like you guys just don't get it because i'm a stand-up comedian jokes coming it's like no i want to make fun of nazis with you like that's why i want you like invested like that's why i'll lead with that like dumb question i want you to be like mad and be like yeah see this is why they're ridiculous though and like get you in on that but like if you start with like what do you think about nazis and then you're just like i think they're Like, like that's what they're almost expecting for you to do. And that's why like people won't jump onto it. It's like, they're so afraid of like jumping on a train.

And that's why I'll do that. Like mass joke right off the rip and just be like, see, this is a stupid joke. Like none of this means anything. My whole, like, you're not going to learn a goddamn thing during my set.

I don't want you to learn anything. I want you to laugh. I don't want you. i don't even care if you remember a joke i want you to just remember laughing like i don't want you to have to think about writing again i want you to laugh i don't want you to come away thinking oh these are my legit opinions on everything it's so dumb and that's like and i i used to do political jokes like a lot because i like went to school for political science and was like do a single one because i know nothing about politics but and that's almost fun like yeah and now it's fun to like do like the anti-political joke of like

and i'll be like hey man like i'll tell a joke that's like about like anti-cops or something because like fuck the cops whatever but like it'll pop up and then like people will be like oh and i'll be like don't worry about it i'm on your team i voted for whoever you voted for you pay me enough money like fuck it i don't care like i don't give a shit and like you just set that bar though like hey every like it's not one of those everybody's gonna get it but it's like you let them know like no and not everyone's gonna get every joke and not everyone's gonna like every joke or be like i, I'm going to make fun of every group here. Like Andrew Schultz, kind of like every – not that he's going to get ethnicity.

He does a great job. He does a good job of hitting everybody. But then you have to be the I hit everybody guy. Where I just want to be like, okay, he's just here for giggles. It's not serious. We're going to move on. If I don't like something, all right, we'll go to the next track. It's not the end of the world.

That's good. Dude, I think Ant, did you watch his new special? I did not. It was good. I'm a fan of his. Yeah. I think it's one of the best ones I've seen in a long time. Really?

Yeah. I think it's very well written. He does hit everyone. I'm a fan of crowd work. Yeah. I think it's very well written. He does hit everyone. I'm a fan of crowd work.

So like when he can make things flow from, you can tell. It's the one thing that sucks about starting to do comedy is you can tell when a bit starts. Yeah. So like before, it's like in my head. I used to think growing up I would watch like Jeff Foxworthy and Bill Angvall and like the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. And I would like on Netflix and I would, I literally thought they just went on stage and just started talking. It stopped me from doing comedy for the longest time. I literally,

I was like, Oh, how did you just think to say all that? I didn't know they were bits. And as you start doing it, you can tell like transitions, but then you can also tell what's actually crowd work. Yeah.

And once he's kind of done before that applied other people, but to like go from bit to someone he met that instant to bit seamlessly was outstanding have you seen patrice o'neill elephant in the room i have not i really want to that's uh it's hard to find anywhere but that's like the first one where like yes crowd work's fun it's cool to do i like it um i think posting crowd work videos is ruining comedy right now because like that's people think that that's what the show is is like you show up and you do it whatever like if it's a crowd work show go for it if it happens organically great like that's what crowd works for but like those whole like i'm gonna post

it because i know this is gonna get clicks because it's outrageous it's like fuck people think that's what a comedy show is but like um a lot of those are so canned too it's like improv like people think that improv is right off the top of your dome no they have those they have those banked yeah like it's all banked it's all there but it's also um like that's why it took as soon as i found out like you had to write an act for stand-up yeah like i was gonna try to do stand-up at 19 i didn't i didn't do stand-up until 24 because i found out you had to do an act you know yeah that's when i started 24 yeah i was like nope not doing it like can't like there's no way i could write an act like could i come up with like a quip here or there sure like will it be funny who knows but like there's no way it is nice to like to see the progression like i remember when i and I was like, I was so pumped I even did it.

The dopamine rush was through the roof. And that's right there. I was like, I know this is what I want to do. I've never had that rush. I went in my car, and I screamed. I was like, fuck yes. Like the shakes after you, like the adrenaline shakes? I could have done anything.

I could have done anything. I could have done anything. I was like, I could go 80 down to 15, and I'd be like, I'll swerve past everyone. Yeah. That kind of thing. I'm like, I'm going to go drink a gallon of booze, and I'm going to be totally fine. Like, this is going to be great. Where was I going with this? But to see the progression, I was like, there's no way.

I saw someone do well like someone like tan or whoever who's doing very well right now and by the way tan congrats on being engaged um but he yeah mazel tov i'm catholic um lutheran but i don't know um like looking back on it now i'm like like, holy, I don't think I've made progress, but compared to the first three months, night and day. That's why like I, just not like shaking when I grabbed the microphone.

I mean, that's why I audio record every set that I do. I missed one last month and it pissed me off so bad. And cause it was actually like, I should start at least doing the audio recording. People like you're supposed to video record every time. you see what's going on and like you can post it for content and all that shit but like i'm already like scatterbrained enough i don't need one more thing to do before set but like i just throw it on my phone put it in my pocket when i'm

off stage i cut it out and then like if i'm if i have a good set i'll like listen to it on the way home yeah if i have a set that like i felt was like good but like didn't have a good set I'll like listen to it on the way home yeah if I have a set that like I felt was like good but like didn't get a good reaction I'll listen to it again and I'll be like ah that's where I lost it yeah um or if I have like if I like will take like after this week I might not do a mic this week like next week I have a bunch of shows I gotta do and I'll have to like I'll be like nervous for it and i'll just like go back and i'll be like the euro gyro open mic from 2019 yeah and i have it in my phone and i'll play it and i'll be like okay that guy's funny oh i'm that guy like exactly that is nice

yeah to have on there it's like i started getting clips from like madison and comedy on state and whatnot just because they look good yeah it's better than like so i could post them if i wanted to i should be recording more just like what you for your uh purpose just to look back on but it is nice to go look at that like okay i thought i did really well and you listen to the crowd like oh i did do really well but i'm like i could have done so much better if i didn't look like this so i didn't it's it's nice well like what you're saying about like that progress too is i've got 90 of the mics that i've ever done like whether it's on my phone or like banked up how much storage do you have on your phone i mean it is it's what it is it's just

and i'll like take it off of them every once in a while like i'll just i thought i was gonna trade my phone in so i just like transfer it all to my computer and oh that's smart yeah so like i'll do that from time to time but like and it's one of those things that i do all the time is like i'm like if i'm in a slog where it's just like nobody's emailing me back like i only made x amount of dollars this month blah blah blah and i'll be like, I remember the first time I got paid to do this shit. Like, and it's just like,

and that was like the biggest thing. Like, and it's just one of those fun, like, and I get like, and it's earnest. So like, I don't feel bad about it,

but I think it's, it could be annoying to outside people of like, like a lot of things I post is to like remind me that like, yeah, today sucks or today was a good day. Yeah. But like in three days I know that it's going to be terrible and I'm going to hate comedy and I'm going to want to quit again.

And then I'll look back and be like, Oh no, I just did that super cool thing. Yeah. Like you're just like doing this, doing open mics regularly, hosting an open mic every Friday. Like you're living somebody's dream.

Absolutely. Like, that's— You're living your dream three months ago. You're— And that's, like, where I'm taking that next step of, like, I'm living somebody's dream, but I'm living my dream that I thought about when I'm, like, zoning off in class, thinking about fucking blue-collar comedies, or thinking about, like, Chris Rock, thinking about fucking Chad Zumachach who was like a radio

host in cleveland and got like a little bit of heat like i like think and i've done shows with like i know chad zumach like i know like so many places that i've like done shows that i'll be like i paid money to watch this like somebody do comedy here and now this fucking place is paying me like it's wild it's crazy it's also one of those things where like that's why it's nice to see people even in those niche markets sell out a show because then you know it's possible like when avery brought me um backstage for the charlie barron's uh this wednesday this past wednesday like him and i were sitting there I was like dude how cool like he's from here yeah okay we do open mics with his younger brother and Charlie he'll come out to him

every once in a while exactly and he was such a nice guy I mean I barely talked to him but such a nice guy and it's just like you're sitting there I'm like and this is all just Wisconsin people so he doesn't like it's possible because you see stuff like on Netflix, there's no way I ever sell out a theater. And again, that's going to be so hard to do. But to see even someone sell out a room of 200 people, I'm like, this is dope. The math that I've done in my head is there's, what,

350 million people in this country, let's just say, rounded. If you get 1% of those people, that's 3.5 million people in this country, let's just say, rounded, if you get 1% of those people, that's 3.5 million people. Yeah. Get them to spend a dollar per year on your comedy, you're set forever. Dude, you could have half a percent.

Yeah, but let's say 1% fucks with you, and that's even like, all right, cool. You'd never want to like give the wrong person that like if everybody hates you like you can still do something right like you don't want to give the wrong person that and like that's where it's like that weird like you have to be like delusional to do this shit but like oh you do but you also have to like like i'm my biggest critic like every comic is their biggest critic i I got an email that was like, hey, please stop sending me a veil.

I was like, oh, I'm never going to work there again. So I'm like, fuck, why am I so annoying? But it's like, I just don't need to send it every week. But, like, so if you think that you're annoyed by me, like, what do you think? I have to live with me all the time. Exactly. I used to have friends in college be like, I wish I could just be in your head for a day. I go,

no, you don't. No, you don't. I don't want to be in anyone's head for a day. But like, I see people every once in a while that are just like, so like,

you'll see it in comedy from time to time where they just like walk up and they'll just like do their set and it'll be like ass. It'll just be completely terrible. Yeah. But like they do it all be completely terrible yeah but like they do it all the time and they're like hey how do i get a hosting gig here and you're just like but who's to tell that person who's wrong because like the switch might flip yeah and i've seen it a thousand times i had that yesterday but like i'm sure we're talking

about the same person probably Probably. But like, but like, but you know, like, but who's to say that that person's wrong? Cause like you're one, like it's one word, literally one word away or leaving your fucking clipboard on the fucking table. Like you're like,

okay, so yes, but like, but like, but you know what I mean? Like, like that's the, if you just, if you like memorize, like but you know what i mean like like that's the if you just if you like memorize like if you just gave that he's very nice and i like him as a person oh great okay sorry continue but like but you know what i'm saying's like you have to be that delusional. You're all fighting tears right now.

Like, if I could channel that energy into, like, anything else. Like, this is, like, I know comedy is like. You do need to be that aggressive. Yes. Like, if I could. And I'm learning that, too. Like, I'm asking other people. Like, I ask you questions all the time because you are touring or you're going on the road.

But I was like, hey, you've been doing way more shows than i have what have you been doing because i i want to do more well that's like i don't feel that i'll email people a hundred times like i got that email and i was like no that means it's working he's getting my emails now he like now i'm on his radar he may be annoyed by me now but at some point he'll be like oh what what's this fucking asshole doing? Even like, hey, we need someone. Fuck, he's available. And then you do well.

He's like, oh, shit. I shouldn't have been an asshole. It's sales. That's all it is. And I worked 1,000 sales jobs and I was bad at them because I'd be so afraid to be like, hey, do you want to buy this now? Maybe you didn't want to buy it last week, but do you want to buy it now? And then just like that, I would rather have a hey quit fucking emailing me so much than not getting an email response yeah i mean it's like no you can't say anybody i'd

rather get a response than nothing like if you get left on red or something like that like just tell me no just tell me no just tell me no that's your job is to tell me yes or no. Exactly. And right now it's a no. Fine. No, that's I think my next battle is – I mean the first – my first battle was like make someone laugh once. And then as you grow and you kind of realize like who you are, I still am. I mean I'm brand new. Yeah. And then it's realizing, okay, how else do I get booked? I remember talking to Devin. He's like, hey, you should send so-and-so videos of you doing it.

I think you could easily get booked on this. I go, is that how? Yeah, that's all it is. He goes, yeah. I go, I thought they just asked you. No. He goes, no. I'm like, okay.

Like sometimes they might, but you've got to show initiative that you want to do it. Because there are people you can tell that go up there, they're just like, I'm just kind of doing this, and then wouldn't take it seriously on an actual show that they're paying to have someone come well and that's what like it's it's so fun to like see people like the person we're talking about be like or i've seen other people like yeah people have stopped booking me like okay when's the last time you sent him an email when's the last time you just texted him to be

like and i always feel weird about it like if i like i'll brandon wine i'll shoot him and like he's somebody that i'm buddies with at a mic yeah that i only talked like we're not like best friends but like we talk at mics whatever and i'll like shoot him a message like hey man just want to let you know that i do like yes we hang out at mics and you see me do comedy but i also want to do your show exactly and so many people will be like oh yeah obviously like i don't know and i think even as someone who puts on a show you want to hear that someone wants to do your show because that means you're doing well for your shows yeah that means that somebody else like uh fucking red room comedy club down in uh chicago which you should send stuff to um you get on it's like i just saw it on instagram and i was like oh this is a cool

spot to get your picture taken on instagram so i shot him an email and i've worked there a couple times and you're just like and you get your email list yeah i think yeah i gotta add you to it but like it's uh i'll give it away and that's the other like i don't know why it's got to be such a fucking secret like there's so many goddamn like it's you send emails you do comedy it's a little competition between people because they're like, I want that show. But they're going to book you. I'm going to start emailing everyone you email. Are you friends with Ray?

But it's also like, okay, they're going to book you once every three, four months, let's say. So that's three to four times a year. That's three more shows than you were going to get if you didn't email. But there's that. But also, there's 52 weeks. There's 49 other weeks of the year that they're not going to book me why why am i so worried about you getting booked one of those weeks exactly it doesn't make sense also you don't want to perform the same place every weekend no and it's like yes i'll send it like a residency

in vegas i'll send my shit to skyline i'll send my shit to like all those bark clubs like louisville fort wayne i'll send it to them all the time because like fuck it i'll work there every weekend i don't give a shit i'll come up with it i'll find a way to come up with new 10 because i want to get paid money and they pay pretty decent and like they're very cool yeah and it's just like yeah i'll work those every week but i'm not trying to like go to red room every single week because i don't want to drive to Chicago, but like Chicago, that's cool. I like it. It's not, I mean,

you're about to drive the country. Um, we didn't wrap this up and you got to get your, are you going to the mic? No, no, I'm going to go home and eat. I got to eat too.

Um, I have one, I always do one question at the end. It's a serious one. Kind of, kind of like I, I had questions like, um,

yes, I will leave my girlfriend in my life for Selena Gomez. Right. Um, I've questions like, yes, I will leave my girlfriend in my life for Selena Gomez right now. Questions like when I started this, like I wanted to do comedy before I turned 25. So I was like, I would ask my friends, like, hey, what's one thing you want to do before your next word that you can do, but you've been putting off? That's not the question. Okay. This question is like, there's's a i'll give you two one is a french fry dry and two what's your meaning of life what's a french fry dry is a french fry dry

i mean we can do two we can do both um i don't think a french fry is dry but i'm not saying it's wet either well fried it's cooked in a liquid so it's got a liquid in it so i guess it's like like a saltine is dry you don't need water after a fry like you need water after a saltine yeah but french fries are better with ketchup and is it because it brings more liquid to it or is ketchup wet because it's it's not a liquid is it well that's the other thing i somebody was like is water wet and it's it's not a liquid is it well that's the other thing i somebody was like it's water wet and it's like no water makes things wet and so like now we're just like in some weird like i like woo woo bullshit spiritual shit but now we're like in like a one-hand clapping

range um i think i'll go with no that they're not dry because it's cooked in a liquid, so it's going to get wet. Cool. But the meaning of life, I honestly think, is to just, like, is to be, like, peaceful and be happy. Like, if you can be happy without making other people unhappy and, like, spreading that, like, spreading warmth and happiness. So, like, if you can, like like sometimes you have to be an asshole, but you don't want to do it all the time. And it's something for like a long time. I was just like, nobody's going to take me seriously if I'm nice to everybody or like, nobody's going to take me seriously if I'm like giggly and happy and doing all

this other shit. Or if I like, if I post my monthly stats, like what are other comedians gonna think of me i post that shit just to be like no this is what i did this is like for me 10 years ago this is for some knucklehead who's like sitting at home and they're like how do i make a dollar and it's like i if if he stumbled into like 300 this month doing stand-up i can do that yeah like i don't even think he's fun like and i don't even think he's funny.

And I don't even care if people think I'm funny. I know I am, but I don't care if they think I am. But yeah, I think it's like spreading happiness and joy without taking it away from too many people. And I don't think enough people understand that that's something that you can do. I like it. Yeah. It'll change.

Ask me in a year. We fuck everyone. you're catching me right before vacation oh hey you're in a good mood there's like a i know i'll get you out your vacation i do another one like fuck this shit there's a there's a podcast that if cory ever releases it i'm gonna sound like the biggest asshole but like i found like we were way too high and i had like a sinus infection. Yeah. We did it in the,

the recording of the high note in like the basement. Oh, I did one with Avery down there. And I was like, what? Like, so that's already in a spot where you're like, fuck everything.

Exactly. You're in a sex dungeon. Dude. And it was just like, I had just like, I like did comedy work, did comedy again, then like worked again,

then went and did this fucking podcast. I was just in a rotten mood, and I turned out to be sick. I just thought I had allergies. I just want to be at home. I'm just like, motherfucker, and everybody. I'm like, hey man, can we not let that out? That's just me in a bad mood. Does he still do that podcast?

Fuck if I know. I'll have to look it up. All right, buddy. Thank you for doing this. No, thanks for having me. I'm going to end it now. Word. Oh, fuck.