Fat Chance Podcast - Jason Kelce, Bar League Sports & Marathon Frauds Ep.139
Episode Date: October 10, 2024NEVER have a hangover again w/ Booze Better Supplements! Seriously, we can't recommend this enough! Use the link below to start drinking better and recovering faster! https://www.supplementsolutions.u...s/?ref=67FwapSjNHdTKo We have fallen in love with COMFRT Hoodies and it's time for you to do the same! Use our code for 15% off the best anxiety sweatshirt on the market! https://www.comfrt.com/MICHAEL52440 PATREON!!!! patreon.com/fatchancestudios CHECK OUT THE NEW FAT CHANCE SHORTS CHANNEL!!! @FatChanceShorts https://youtube.com/@FatChanceShorts?si=wCjiBc0ddHEYk_bs Get your Chewzie TODAY! @TheChewzie https://www.thechewzie.com Check Out The Crew: Michael - @michaelcuske on everything Judd Reminger - @juddremingerscomedy7298 @juddreminger on all others Jack - @jack_c_comedy Diego Avila - @trashpimp (photography)
Transcript
Discussion (0)
We're gonna see we're definitely gonna see Jason up in the Taylor Swift box
Now is Taylor Swift coming I've been seeing this a lot are they together
I think she's coming today, and she's gonna do a boob luge off of Jason boob luge
Yeah, he's in a board you wish it was the other way around no. I want herob luge off of Jason boob luge. Yeah, he's an important issue is the other way around
No, I want her to do one off of Jason. Yeah, be fun. I would rather reciprocate. No, I'd rather see Jason get a boob luge
That's very fun. Yeah, and it's way it's the respectful way to do it to his wife and to Travis
That's fair. Also about respect. Well, respect she on their tour right now. Yeah
It's just a music tour. I mean, this is the Chiefs football We're all about respect. Respectfully. Well, isn't she on their tour right now? Yeah.
It's just a music tour.
This is the Chiefs football game.
Yeah, but her tour's got to take months and months of planning.
Her tours have to be.
Yes.
She has like, there are reports that she's
changed the economy in some places because of her concerts.
You'd think Jason would dress a little bit nicer with...
You'd think, but we're week five and he is...
He's still forgetting to bring his clothes.
Just put on a suit coat, my man.
That's not him.
Honestly, if he was wearing that sweat suit that he wore to the Phillies game, that's
what he should wear every week.
He looks like he's going to go on a Tinder date to a below average bar with good lighting. That's what he should wear every week. He looks like he's gonna go on a tinder date to a below average bar with good lighting
Yeah, but like as the worst dressed at the worst, but he know he it's his rehearsal dinner
He just doesn't want to be there
He's a late plus one
So this was on the beach.
Made of honor's new boyfriend.
So we're doing real well not bringing up the game today.
Yeah, we're not even playing yet.
Hi, and welcome to Fat Chance.
My name is Jack Sarasoli.
I sit here with Michael Kuski.
Diego Avila.
I think I went for whatever you want to start right away what you guys did I okay you looked at me and go why are you doing this and I
was close in like three or four games this week and I was like ready so you
already already kind of like looked at what you what you know But I knew I was like I was so close to walking in here being like fuck you fuck you
So you and now I'm like really in we have
In first place
Judd what at eight and five. Wow, good week for you. That's not good.
The next two teams are both under 500.
Yeah, well, that would make sense.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, you could have been at seven.
At six and seven, there's a four and nine.
Yeah.
Oh, I'm probably four and nine.
No, you're not.
Last place goes to Kuski at four and nine.
Oh, my god.
One of the worst weeks we've ever seen. I was
going for it. I was I was trying to make a turnaround. The only times that we that we
all kind of lost were the ones that we agreed on and tables turned. You made fun of me for
like oh the 0 and 4 check. Where is really going to turn it around. Guess who won?
Guess who's also 4-9.
That's also very funny, because we should just
make fun of all the picks then.
We should.
Yes.
And not agree and see who is.
The problem is everyone's going to agree a little bit,
because there's three of us making picks.
You have to.
OK.
Let's just get this over with.
I'm going, how many games are we picking this?
I'm going 14 for 14.
He starts the podcast, let's just get this fucking over with.
Let's go.
I don't think I can come back.
Yeah, you can.
There's so many more weeks left in the season.
But I'm going to try and go bold on all of them now.
OK.
If you go bold, this is what's going
to have a look at those Saints helmets.
What's going on with you guys?
They look like they should have the accomplishment
stickers on, like Ohio State does.
Yep.
I kind of like them.
We did that with football helmets.
We had lightning bolts.
And then for linemen, if you got a pancake, you get a pancake.
Oh, yeah, we had Mustang.
Stacks of pancakes.
I think we had Sabre.
Actually, I don't think we did it.
We didn't do it. If we did, I never got any. I don't think we did it. We didn't do it.
Yeah. If we did, I never got
any. What's up buddy? You got
you got two picks. Yeah. Two
picks. One pick six. Yeah.
That's cool. That's two
lightning bolts. That's two
lightning bolts. I had to
tackle once. Uh that would not
ours. Ours for you to get the
stickers. We also had to win.
Yeah. Really? Yeah. So, if we
lost, we would still and we did like did something you don't get the stickers
Yeah, that's where we're so get someone complaining about not getting stickers and we had a run for like
Plain about not get stickers you guys just lost. It's like who the fuck complained about these fucking stickers. All right
Playing about these games kuski. Um, we have a San Fran at Seattle for the Thursday night game
Seattle games. Kuski. We have San Fran at Seattle for Thursday night game. Seattle. I might. I think I'm taking Seattle. I want to go San Fran. Jacksonville at Chicago. Chicago. Jacksonville.
They're on a roll. They are heating up. Arizona at Green Bay. Green Bay. Green Bay. It's going to hurt to say. I'm
going to say Green Bay. I'll say I just I can't go against them but smart smart. I
don't I don't. We're going to be on a roll dude. Indy at Tennessee. Indy.
Joe Flacco was not the problem.
That's why I'm worried.
I'll take the Colts.
I'm going to Indy as well.
Houston at New England.
Houston.
Houston.
Houston.
Tampa Bay at New Orleans.
Tampa Bay.
New Orleans Hmm Tampa Bay New Orleans
I'm gonna say
Cleveland at Philadelphia
Philly
I think Cleveland might be worse
than Carolina
Washington at Baltimore
That's a good game
That is a good game game I think Baltimore gets it
But barely Washington just go that way. Yeah, I'm gonna Washington as well Chargers at Denver
Denver Chargers I
Just forgot the Chargers were a team did they play this week? I'm gonna go Denver know they're on a bite. That's why
Pittsburgh at Las Vegas
Pittsburgh
Go Pittsburgh as well Detroit at Dallas
Detroit
Detroit going Dallas at home Atlanta at Carolina Atlanta
Atlanta I hate to say it hot Lana Cincinnati at the Giants
Cincinnati Give me the Giants. I think they're off. It's give me defensively. It's not gonna be great, but
Cincinnati's offense looks very good. Yeah Buffalo at New York
New York Jets, I'm going Jets every week
I think we're gonna need another relax. That's why that's why they're true and
I'm gonna go Buffalo as well. The Jets are not good this year. They're not going to be good
No, what's gonna happen is I'm gonna go
14 and oh, OK. OK.
Or 13 and 0.
And then the Monday night game, he's
going to actually put in just so I don't.
And the Jets are going to lose.
I'm going to be real pissed.
How would I do that?
You're just going to do it.
I just have a feeling.
I have a feeling we're going to record Tuesday next week.
How would that happen?
I have a feeling we're going to record Tuesday next week.
Ha ha ha ha.
There's no world without that.
Like I like this log in your computer and put in.
Yeah.
Just me.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
It'd be cool if I went 14-0.
After, if to go 14-0
after a foreign whatever week
would be great. That would be, but you're not
gonna. Okay, well how about we have
a little positivity in this okay?
I positive I negative
I'm positive you're not going to go 14, but that's a negative
Positivity okay, well I'm positive that you're still gonna have a fun time not going 14 and no okay. That's okay
I'll take that thank you dork you nerd
Does it feel good to start wearing pants again? No.
Really?
Jack has yet to do it.
Wear pants at home.
If I was, I don't know, I just, when it's cool enough and you can put on the sweats
for the first time and you're like comfortable in them, it's kind of nice.
I like the layers.
But right now is the season where it's cold during the morning, so you dress for the morning
and then you go out at lunch and you're like, what the fuck am I wearing this for? It's cold during the morning, so you dress for the morning, and then you go out at lunch, and you're like, what the fuck am I wearing this for?
It's the worst.
I wore a sweater Sunday, and Sunday morning,
I was like, all right, perfect.
And it got to like 11, and I'm just dripping in sweat.
But funny thing was,
the Milwaukee Marathon runs past my place and we have the like they
run down the street and then they go kind of down this path but then they run back on
the lake.
So they run past us on both sides which is very kind of cool but.
You can see across the lake?
No no right next to lake. So they run? No, no, right next to the lake.
So they run the street and then run right next to the lake.
So my apartment is in between where they're running.
So then you can see the runners that are really good right away.
You're like, oh, look at these people.
They're having fun.
They're really booking it.
And then they come out and they're on the left side.
Like, oh, there they are.
Those are the runners that are really, really having a good time.
And then you look to the right and you just see these people
that are just like having the worst time of their life just like why did we do
this we're already like four hours beyond pace that's all fantasy football
punishments right there is people dead last it was a lot of people just like
walking and questioning their lives. It was very funny.
Here's the thing, if you... you can do a marathon however you want.
Run, walk, run, walk.
Walk, run.
Walk, run.
Jog, bear crawl, handstand walk, whatever. You can do whatever you want.
But if you are to do majority of a marathon walking, does that really count?
No, you're just going for a really long walk.
Exactly.
Like, hey, I'm just going to walk the marathon.
You went out for a stroll today.
You don't deserve the sticker and medal.
You need to run, I think, maybe let's 65% of it.
Yeah.
Now, no, we'll get to this, but I just
don't think people deserve any recognition if you run less than
65% of a marathon or any race.
I think if you run less than 50% of a marathon, no credit because at that point you didn't even run a half marathon.
Fair, fair. Okay. So we'll go 50 is safe. I'd go 60 because you trained for it.
You definitely didn't. Yeah. Then that's
your fault. You're like I'm going to get there eventually. Yeah. I'll get there. What. He
looks so like he looks like a handyman. A bad one. Which gives us another. And I think
who do you think would win in a race. Oh yeah. We're going to race like a distance race. Oh yeah we're gonna race like a distance race. Yeah like it does anything.
It doesn't know a distance race. Yeah. You should reach. I don't think speed taking you
down. I don't know man. I think I'm pretty quick. After my ankle brace. He says ankle
braces and his roller blades on. Well he's on rollerblades. He's working to lose. Yeah
because of fun fact cause he subbed for our wiffle ball team on Wednesday. He did great. I
Counted for 33% of the runs or RBI's. I don't know how many runs only three people in the team
We had no of the 15 runs. I had five of the RBI's I had two home runs
I pitched an entire nine innings. Yeah, you pitched the RBI's I had two home runs
I pitched an entire nine innings. Yeah, you pitched the whole time. I pitched the whole time
I only gave up three home runs all to the same guy because it's easier for us to like
Scared and throw it to him. Yeah, but they need I had a few strikeouts
I was starting to learn to throw sliders with the wiffle ball. It was great somewhere accidental somewhere accidental
He would tell they look good. I didn't try to do that
When he did so good, yeah, and then and then like
He's like feeling himself. He's like very confident and then he comes up to me goes. Yeah two home runs
Yeah, pretty much the greatest. And I was like, I have five home runs right now.
But I did walk into the bar, I go,
do you think we're going to win?
He goes, absolutely not.
Did you?
And we murdered him, yeah.
Hell yeah.
15 to 5.
Good job, guys.
Good job, team.
It was great.
Yeah, it was great.
Good job to you guys.
And we were a man down the whole time.
Yeah, that's the whole thing.
Oh, you played three versus four?
Yeah.
Oh.
Have you been to the baseball diamond broken bat? No. Super cool. Super cool. Also I don't think
there should be four people on a team. I think two is plenty. It allows for more you know
action to happen. More playing. Even though we scored more runs when they had four on
their team. They just weren't good. They weren't good at all. Was it a good way for you to
show up then? Yeah it was a great way for me to show up.
They had one guy who was good and he was a lefty.
I think he had a home run off of Cusky every time.
No, not every time. Just three of the five.
Those two, though, he held him.
He had nine at bats, about nine at bats.
I think he only had three home runs.
But I knew every time he was taking me.'m like you're you're gonna you're gonna take it
yeah that's Taylor Swift in attendance no mama Kelsey mama Kelsey mama Kelsey
and her boyfriend I think she has a husband no there's there split up I
think I don't know though why's he smiling I thought they were cuz they
don't sit next to each other you never see mom and dad in the same room yeah
that's true yeah I could be wrong you're when okay so I have two stories one is
do you remember when we did that flag football yeah that fucking I thought we
were gonna be be so good.
No.
And then we showed up and everyone
was in a uniform and numbers all matching gear.
And it was like all of us were just blowing the dust off
our old cleats.
Yeah, we had shades of blue as our uniform.
I know.
And I was like, this is going to be a rough night.
And we actually only lost by one point.
So that was fine.
But I remember walking off like, man, I don't got it like I used to.
OK, here's the thing with that.
The flag football team, you sub four and I sub four,
because that wasn't my team either, was they're not good at all.
I mean, we've done OK, but they're like all stubborn in their ways like I played receiver. I gotta play receiver
I played this up with that. I'm like dude. So I'm like there were a few guys on the team
I'm like hey, man, why don't you snap the ball and not me every time right?
Jack and I would come to the huddle back you guys want to try this and we do it like oh first down touchdown
Just do this and I drew the play up and it did I was the only one to score touchdown that we
exactly but the difference between flag football and I was telling you this at
the bar after whiffle ball is a whiffle ball and I only played one team so my
sample size is very small yeah but even them losing like it was just fun like
drinking having a good
time you can drink during that you could drink during flag football if you wanted
to but not when those guys showed up when they're all they're in like mean
machine longest yard and and all look very athletic yeah Sinanim. We're not a sin man. I should have drunk.
I would have gotten put into the ground.
But like football was so aggressive.
They're like so chippy.
It's such like a
I want to be alpha so bad.
I just like play football.
And having the refs there was so bad.
They're on the biggest high horse of anyone.
They're like this is the call.
This is where I my word is God
I'm like, dude
You're 65
You're like you're like running with the people trying to keep up you're taking it too seriously
But you know, it feels like a little ball seriously Feels like a fun fun like
Bar leak for sure. Yeah, it's a blast. It's a blast. He won't let me play again though. I
Over I over show wouldn't you rather just be good for that one the best that never was
That's that's a good one. They got away high note. I think he's embarrassed. I outshined him though. He did outshine you
No shine me. I'm a to it. I'm basically showing now. I'm a high note. I think he's embarrassed. I outshined him though. He did outshine you now shine me
I'm a to it. I'm basically showing now. I'm
I'm taking back everything
Got a tone with the stay in the circle a lot
In the circle like they didn't there's like a pitching circle. So then
There for a while. He thought it was like lava to go outside yeah because I wanted to catch the ball when he
threw to me but then but then like well then he realized he could just touch
like just touch it well that's the other thing they didn't explain the rules to
me that's a second inning yeah you're like oh yeah when this happens like
thank you for letting me know like we can explain to you a million rules
But until you see it, then we didn't like yeah
It sounds like even with minimal rule knowledge you turned out pretty good with it. Yeah, that's good
modern day with a ball of time the reason he's not coming back is because we have our players back now
Yeah, but I can't imagine they're as good
We did me and my buddy had a sub in for a softball game
as good. We did.
Me and my buddy had to sub in for a softball game back in college and we showed up pretty, pretty messed up, pretty loose.
And he was pitching and I was catching.
And so everyone else to be like, all right, whatever they fuck up, we'll be able to somehow like save it.
And the guy that was pitching was very messed up, did not know any of the rules.
And he's just launching sky ball pitches.
And it's like, is it like six to 14?
Yeah, yeah, like a group pitch?
Yeah, so he would just launch these sky ones,
and these guys would line up and just whiff and complain.
And he was very messed up, so he would just
like giggle to himself.
Like, he'd be like, oh my god.
They just whiffed that.
And I would be losing my shit, because he
would be like crying on the mound.
And they'd be getting pissed like six to fourteen and
he'd be like yeah I got you having no idea what six to fourteen meant.
And the next one is so high.
And it went for like five innings where no one could hit this bitch and no one was stepping
in and being like dude keep your bitches down dude.
They just kept yelling six to fourteen and he was like yeah. He what it meant and the whole time just laughing in their face so by
like the fifth inning they were getting really chippy like almost stormed the mountain I was like hey dude he's
really messed up I'll tell him what 6-14 means next time but everyone calm down we ended up winning but it was like we didn't go back we were like we can't go
back they were very mad there was like people that actually play like oh
seriously oh that was one of the best laughs I had my entire life which is
watching this guy have no idea what's going on around them? Man pretty good. I worked with a guy in high school that played slow-pitch softball competitively like he would leave work early to go travel for
Tournaments, I don't really feel like this is something you should travel for there's also
Saz's is putting a tournament on behind their bar
Fast pitch
Fast pitch and that's like crazy because they have to wear like There's a few people I know that do fast pitch. That would be so scary.
Fast pitch.
And that's like crazy because they have to wear like the masks and everything.
Yeah, no I couldn't do that.
That'd be scary.
I don't know if I'd be able to do that.
I think Wiffle Ball is the fastest I could get pitched to.
But they do some wild pitches though.
They can like.
No, that's.
No, no, no.
That's the other thing.
It's not like that.
That's separate.
That's like Blitzball.
Yeah, like you can really put some
On it and does one of these those are so cool
You get it to come in behind you and still touch all that's honestly what I first thought I could do
It sounds like I actually try but I'm like this isn't working
Wicked spins on it. Yeah, so it's all pitch to hit so we're all there to have fun and experience
That was a good time.
Well, you guys want to play the game tonight?
Yeah, let's play the game.
Why not?
What does pitch to hit mean before we play the game?
It's just your lob.
If you're playing back air baseball, you're just tossing it to them.
But you know.
You got any straight cuts?
Yeah.
They were bad.
Yeah, they were really bad.
No, there was one guy in all red. I knew every time I had his number
He kind of swung the bat like he swung at everything like I did but I hit it He also hit it twice. He also swung like he had a sword
He was just like stabbing at it sometimes. Oh really?
That's how I would be I wouldn't know what to do when I got in that blender of a batter's box
Well, they said like you're gonna swing we gotta stop talk about wiffle ball
But like I swung early every time I hit it it went to left field every time or fall every time besides one
Yeah, and then it was a home run center field
Well, I do have a question to ask you guys. Did either of you watch the show glee?
Parts of it actually yeah, my college roommate watched it sometimes so I've seen bits and pieces
Good you guys would be great in this because this is this is is it a plot line
In glee or not?
Okay, give you some false plot lines or some true plot lines
You can tell me if it's a true plot line in glee or a false plot line in glee
This is so dumb completely out of plotlines from other shows or just completely out of thin air plotlines? This is just glee?
You told me this is a true plotline?
Or not glee.
To glee or not to glee.
That is the question.
Thank you very much Michael for ruining my question one.
Really?
Alright.
We have 18 of them.
No, we have 17.
There's 18.
I just had a ruined question one.
Well I'll just skip that
part. Anyways someone throws a slushy with glass in someone's head. They have to wear
eye patch for the rest of the episode. That is glee. I remember an eye patch somewhere.
I'm gonna say that's not glee because the eye patches for a different reason that is
glee. That is to be glee. All right. Wasn't there a guy in a wheelchair. That could have
been it. That could have been an eye patch that drank the slushy. It's crazy. There's
just a slushy full of class. Yeah. Is that a slushy slushy. It was a fake slushy for
the stage. Someone starts a school riot because the cafeteria stopped serving tater tots
Knockley knockley that's high school musical that is a hundred percent glee her name is Mercedes
Sounds athletic
Oh boy. Oh boy. All right. I want everyone to picture Mercedes in their head right now. I think we all. All right. There you go. I'm crying. One of the students goes to prison
and builds a community with the inmates by introducing them to football and the other glee club members dress up as cheerleaders and sing jailhouse rock
No, that is your longest yard kind of I'm gonna say it's clean
Technically, it's not glee, but it is a show called Riverdale
I know Riverdale. It's like a Glee light, I think.
Yeah, Glee light, but with like magic.
Glee light.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And murder.
Number four, Glee or not Glee, the cheer coach
marries herself.
Glee.
Glee.
As I'm saying, correct.
That is Glee.lee as I'm saying correct that is glee Good job
Number five one of the students starts
Directing tickle fetish films and they call him tickle Terry
Riverdale
How I met your mother so no glee no. No. You guys are both correct. That is Riverdale.
Speaking of fetishes kind of we've gotten this comment a lot. Have you seen this or a topic for the pod?
Have you ever gotten a wedgie and like why and how did it feel has been commented multiple times by a few people. All right, let's
We'll circle back to the
wedgie after game because I have to think about my most recent wedgie. Oh jeez. I don't
know if I can remember a wedgie. Do you remember a wedgie? I know. You never got wedgie'd?
No, he gave the wedgies. He was a bully. I was not a bully. You were adopted. You were
a bully. I was adopted. What are You were adopted. You were a bully.
I was adopted. What are you talking about?
Adopted kids were always bullies.
You were trying to find another family.
You were causing trouble.
I bet you were.
I got a diaper before the trouble.
You got a diaper before the trouble?
Did you like nap time?
Were you good at nap time?
No, he's a bully for sure. You were in the office every nap time? Were you good at nap time? Yeah. I don't know. No, he's a bully for sure.
You were in the office every nap time.
You would be, I think if you were a kid now,
you'd be a cyber bully for sure.
Yeah, you gave swirlies.
All right.
Before they were phased out.
He definitely is the age putting people in lockers.
Yeah, did you put anyone in lockers?
No, I didn't put anyone in lockers.
Did you get put into a locker?
No, I didn't.
I'm surprised I didn't.
I can fit.
You could fit. I could fit. could feel you get to me in there
You're a locker size Jim locker Jim locker Jim
All well big ones because they're also wide to Jim lockers you can fit football pads in ours is pretty deep
I could go in sideways. Let's be skinny buck 20 in high school
Now buck 40 all right graduated soaking wet
Now a buck forty. Alright.
I graduated.
Soaking wet.
Alright Santana gives Finn Mono to prove that Quinn is cheating on Sam.
That's glee.
That's gotta be glee.
Wait!
Yeah it's glee.
That is glee.
Very good.
Finn's the guy that died right?
We'll see.
No like in real life.
Sure. Write in the comments.
Alright.
The choir director's wife fakes a pregnancy and tries to buy a student's baby from them.
Yeah, I'm going to say that's Glee.
No, that's South Park.
That is 100% Glee.
Most of these are Glee.
What a wild show!
They singing this, right? I guess I guess when you yeah, is that the when you like to actually say a premise out loud
It is kind of wild that that's like episode to episode what they yeah, okay
All right, the high school the high school football coach accidentally hits his star football player with his truck before the homecoming game
That's not glee. That's not glee.
That's not glee. That's Friday Night Lights. Blue Mountain State. That is not glee. Yeah.
What is it? You just made it up. I mean that one. I uh uh it's technically a loose plot
in Friday Night Lights. Holy shit. That was a good guess because I've never seen it. Yeah.
The coach hits hits not his star player but somebody before the game. But anyways
the wife of the choir director volunteers as a school nurse and gives all the students
speed so they can do better at Glee Club competitions. That's Glee because this choir what this choir
teachers wife seems like a riot. I know I think I bet it's Jane Lynch. I think this is pitch perfect
No, this is glee doesn't harm simply I
Believe the choir teachers Jane Lynch was the principal. Oh she was no, I think she was the football coach
Yeah, I think she was the gym teacher all right, are you looking at stuff right now? Yeah, I just want to see what
Yeah, but she's coach some come on the cast and crew All right, Sue Sylvester. Yeah, she's definitely a coach
All right, go ahead. All right
girl gets pregnant but doesn't know who the father is the glee so
Doesn't know which glee member it is
So they have a singing competition to decide who's the father of the child
Glee that's glee member it is So they have a singing competition to decide who's the father of the child
Glee that's glee
Correct, that's loosely based on something happened in the gym class one time in high school
In your high school
We need first and last name and who did you wedgie know the girl like faked that she was pregnant and then like had to get to guys fight over it.
She's like you know you guys do you guys should settle it by like just doing like this like
weird stuff and I was like she's not even pregnant.
What's so like do she like manipulating these two guys.
Yeah yeah. Do you guys remember seeing your first like
pregnant person in high school?
I just being like whoa
Well, life comes at you quick
All right number 11 Rachel sends someone to a crack house
So they missed their audition because she's afraid of losing her the spotlight
Yeah, I don't know who else but it sounds not glee
Wait, you're saying not glee. You're saying glee. I'm saying glee. Yeah a lot of drugs and
This right thing is crazy. Yeah
Seasons are is glee six six seven. I just looked it up. That's why
Finn becomes religious and starts praying to a grilled cheese sandwich. That looks like Jesus
No, that's that's no Isn't as you classified. No no it's. This is Napoleon dynamite. Nope.
That is Glee. Oh shit. What the fuck. This show is ridiculous. This show makes no sense. All right. Number 13. Britney's character asks
out a guy to prom. He dies in a car crash before the dance. So she slow dances with
this ghost and later has sex with him. That's glee. That's for sure. Glee. No not really
scary movie too. That is not glee. That is loosely based on the plot line from Grey's are They ran out of shit to write about there like 45 We're gonna do so many brain surgeries before we can start talking about ghosts having sex with people
They needed to keep the ratings up a rival from another school glee club
Pretends to date a girl then breaks up with her by cracking egg over her head
Lee
Feel like that's one of the tame episodes gonna be like a money release. Yeah
Yeah
Let's see what we can get away with. Number 15. The show kills
off a main character before regionals only for their twin to come in and sing all of
their parts. Yeah. No no. Perfect. No this is a friends and Drake Ramore Joey's character
but know that he's on a never mind. It's just not glee days of her lives days of our lives yeah it's not glee yeah I wrote that one myself I
thought that was a real like days of our lives yeah not a bad not a bad it's kind
of like the plot of you know what I'm talking about I don't want to repeat
myself all right the choir sings to a sick boy who has a brain tumor, but he still dies after
the concert.
Glee.
Glee.
That is incorrect.
That is also made up by me.
Also made up by me.
Real morbid.
You definitely give people wedgies with that plot line.
Alright, number 17, Finn pretends to be in a wheelchair to get a job.
Glee.
Glee.
Incorrect.
That never happened.
Damn.
No, there's another guy.
Real nerdy.
Yeah, I had a little offensive.
I remember watching it in real life.
I was nosy.
I'm like, is he actually in a wheelchair in real life?
He wasn't, so he got canceled.
Really?
No, I just picked that up.
Could be.
All right, last one.
A student drops a gun in the school causing everyone to think they're a school shooter.
A teacher takes blame, gets fired, and becomes a personal trainer.
Not Glee.
Glee.
That's how much spent Glee.
That is Jane Lynch's character.
And that's how you play Glee or not to Glee.
That's the story arc of Jane Lynch.
I'm sure she was kind of bitchy and
then she took the blame. We kind of like her now. She would go like this. Yep. It was like
this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this,
this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this,
this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this,
this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this,
this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this,
this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this,
this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, a wedgie? Well, first of all, I've never also on the record,
I've never seen Glee.
Ha ha ha.
Who's the man?
I think I've seen the first two or three seasons.
But as for a wedgie, I don't think I ever really
got a wedgie before.
Have you ever given one?
I bet you've given them.
I don't think so.
I've given wedgies to my siblings.
I've given one to my dad.
I think we did as a group.
Yeah. Oh my god. It gave giving one to my dad. I think we did as a group. Yeah, oh my god.
It gave my dad a wedgie, all three of us.
It like ripped his underpants off.
It's a good one.
It's a good wedgie, yeah.
It's a really strong wedgie.
I think I've gotten a wedgie from my father.
I've gotten a wedgie from my brothers.
I give him a good friendly wedgie.
I get wedgies a lot from the wife.
Really?
Wow.
Yeah, she likes to kind of bully me.
But yeah, I get some good wedgies.
That was at interception, and it's a live ball.
Oh, I like how we all just froze.
Yeah, that was wild.
Yeah, the wedgie thing, I don't remember the last one I've given, but it had to have
been to someone I cared about.
You can't give a wedgie to just a random person.
That's, that's an embarrassing move.
Yeah, it's not good.
It's not good.
You can't be wedgier.
I imagine it was more of a wet willy guy.
Wet willy.
I've been told by my lovely lady that if I ever give her, this was told to me within maybe the first week of us
talking or dating, not sure which one,
that if I ever give her a wet willy,
she will leave me on the spot, like straight up.
And she is so serious about it.
I think it's worth trying.
I've tried to put just a dry finger in there
and she goes, don't fucking do it.
I go, but it's not wet.
It's just a willy.
And she's like, I was like. It's just a willy. She's like out
I was like, it's just a willy. I've also been talking to the micro this
He sniffs a little bit of a white claw and he gets a little wild
No, I think we have a science infection
That's why she doesn't want science infection science. Yeah sign this
now I thought it was a I
Thought I was a pollen but it's been a week and I was like this is a it's also only when I sit down
When I'm when I move and I'm I'm beep bopping around I feel great. Oh, we forgot to tell you Michael's a beep bopper
Big beep bopper. I beg do you know ray gun from?
You wish our fantasy football up there is yeah
When I was a child the big thing with we didn't do wedgies. I mean, we was always like
joking around our dad like
One time I remember we thought it was very funny if we got him brown underwear.
That'd be so funny. So we got my mom in on the joke
to get him brown underwear, you know?
It's just, like, but in new brown underwear.
So we're like, ah, dad, look, already your underwear.
You booped already.
Yeah, yeah, we thought that was so funny.
And then, obviously my mom told my dad,
because she's a snitch
And she said told like yeah, the kids get your brown underwear for Christmas. So then he got all of us brown underwear. Oh
So we all are laughing when he opened his thing. You guys open yours. We open ours and we're pissed
We got double crossed by the mother. Jesus.
Did any of you cry?
No, I did.
I think I did.
Probably did.
Yeah, it was rough.
Christmas is ruined.
Yeah.
Also, we have a rule where we can only
open one present on Christmas Eve.
Oh, yeah.
That was the one we had to do.
So we all just opened brown underwear.
It was just like, uh.
Worse than coal.
That'd be so shitty.
Oh, yeah.
I remember, I'd be, oh, god, imagining being a kid
and just being like, well, fuck.
This is how Christmas Eve went.
I would have loved if your mom really messed with you.
I'm assuming she probably wrapped the presents,
is if they wrapped your brown underwear
and then she swapped your dad's out real quick
and put white underwear in there.
I'm like, what the fuck, we messed up.
Mom!
No, dad, these are supposed to be yours.
In all four sizes.
These are all way too little for me.
How many siblings do you have?
I have an older brother and younger sister. Come on, dude
Just another okay. How many siblings do I have you have two younger brothers? Okay?
How many do I have zero I have a younger brother. His name is Jimmy
You could have picked a better name. No, he's my mom's new dog. He's my younger brother
Jimmy it was his last name. I
Say my last name I say my last name Jimmy my mom's last name the show or movie were like honey kiss the dog I don't kiss the dog
oh yeah I was picturing the Amanda Bynes show that's what I was thinking that seemed like one of those bits that they would do
I can't kiss the dog. I love the Amanda Bynes show. That was fun. Isn't that that and Drake and Josh?
That just called all that
No, it's the Amanda Bynes show. I
Think like peak television was the Amanda Bynes show Drake and Josh that's so Raven
Sweet life is acting Cody courage a cowardly dog like spongebob Ed and Eddie those were
You can't beat that now you have paw pals or Paw Patrol Paw Patrol. That's really not the same level
Yeah, but also you know close. Yeah, but you're also not seeing at the same as you saw the other ones
No, it's just a quality cartoon should be cartoons
They're not yeah, let's let's have a bunch of grown men talk about cartoons and how the quality
Yeah, I did where I think we don't quite get all of it, but have you ever seen cocoa melon?
Don't know what the hell's going on during that you told me that a baby shark didn't come out when you were a kid
You wouldn't just fucking go crazy. No. I think my dad would have shot the TV
Dude, you'd be
Also the kids that grew up with that when they're at the club like years from now
I'm at the club and all of a sudden be like you ready for this and just baby
Okay, here's like do to do if we were kids
Now what trend or annoying thing do you think you would actually
Unfortunately be a part of. I'd be a fortnite dancer. You'd be a fortnite person. Yeah
Did you ever do fortnite? You ever play fortnite? I did a little bit
I didn't like it because I had to build I don't like the building things
You you literally paint figurines and build them, but you build in fortnight. Oh, yeah, same thing
Yeah, I never played a game of fortnight
When it was like not popular yet
And that was fun and then like it started getting popular and there then people got way too good at it
and it just wasn't fun people once it's like a
Your stream in it kind of thing. You gotta stop playing it. Yeah, I probably doing some tick-tock dances. Yeah. Yeah something like
Either they know when I'm in the end zone maybe or something like that like just celebrate. Yeah. Yeah, that's fair. I
Don't know what I would do
Can you see I like refused to try like to do it took me until I was in high school to do Facebook
Like when my head like little the trends that came out like remember what fidget spinners were a thing It took me until I was in high school to do Facebook.
In my head, the trends that came out, remember when fidget spinners were a thing?
I wanted to murder all of my friends that had them.
And they would custom order fidget spinners
to come into even the fraternity house.
I'm like, what are we doing, guys?
What are we doing?
The jewels, when jewels first came out,
I was like, This is gonna die
It's taking over the world. It was I I don't think I do take talk to him. I'd be too embarrassed
cream hunt I
Told you should have bet it told you do
Judges lose his fantasy football
So definitely did dude I would uh I would like to say the guy that was 0 and 2 to start the season
is now tied with both these schmucks.
Hey, even a mind squirrel finds a nut, buddy.
I think I did beat the last place team.
Oh, yeah.
Yep, you lost, buddy.
You're hoping for a fumbler?
He doesn't touch the ball anymore.
Yeah. You you lost buddy. You're hoping for a fumbler. He doesn't touch the ball anymore. Yeah
You lost buddy. I think yeah somebody
somebody find out Can he do something bad? Are you gonna write a strongly worded? I think he punched the shit out of his girlfriend
I think he kicked her. I think he yeah, maybe
Difference big difference. Yeah, Ray Rice definitely punched the shit out of her. Yeah, whatever happened to him?
He's back up running back for the Kansas City Chiefs.
Ray Rice?
Yep.
Did a bank remont.
Ugh, that sucks.
Did that ruin your Monday?
Now you know how I felt when Cusky beat me.
Yeah, but at least he didn't lose to me.
He will.
He will. You think didn't lose to me. He will. He will.
You think he'll lose to me?
I don't know. I think he just had a couple good days.
You think I had a couple good days?
You got a couple lucky days.
Yeah.
Loser gets wedgied.
Last place out of us three gets double wedgied.
And you have to explain it in vivid detail.
How the fibers of your underwear felt against your puckered butthole?
You think I'm gonna pucker you're not gonna. You're not gonna open up my you're not gonna open up. What do you open up?
That's bad. I need a deep cleaning
Do you keep those on these afterwards no you get rid of rid of them. Because they're going to be ripped.
We probably could send them to a few people.
We're not giving poopy butthole underwear
that got ripped from a wedgie out to people,
unless it's for a good amount of money.
Like a grand?
Yeah.
Have we sold those socks yet?
No, we could.
I just don't want.
The effort to go get them and then send them.
It's not that much effort
But here's the thing is once we sell one pair of socks. It's
It's a slippery slope slippery slippery sock slope. Yeah
200 now
Five
Me to consider it I
Had there was a video that your feet aren't that good no intent
I when we had the toe socks up and I'm here and I mean the foot is like in the whole shot and
My dad sent me a message. He goes don't want to go down that road, buddy
He goes not worth it I go I'm not trying whoa whoa whoa whoa
How does he know your dad been down there?
Down that road I've discussed husky thing. Yes, it's a kusky thing where we just sell our feet now
My dad's like don't become the guy the units selling his body. I'm like it's my socks to start
Let's sell them the minute. I start selling my body price goes
slightly up, but
We're not gonna go into it again no but I
know my price for oh yeah we don't need go into that again no but I think that's
a reasonable thing yeah I think it was reasonable make a good living so
comfortable yeah I was a guy that got wedgie by my wife you're a guy that
gives wedgie so your price is definitely higher. Yeah, and I watch
Yeah loser out of us three has to get double wedgie by that is that our punishment no double wedgie I thought the loser
That's right, that's right or loser loser should have to buy each of the other two a stroker I think it's a good thing to do or loser has to use the stroker after the first place second place
Yes, second place. No second place first place goes first second place. Go second
Third place has to use it after no cleanouts. No cleanouts
And we all have to watch and make sure you do it no but now that I'm not sent I lost everyone out like the
highest place team is only three new yeah yeah sucks yeah honestly I'm pretty
happy you lost yeah you would be yeah I i would see myself rise in the ratings will find out tomorrow
you just want to give wedges
to give money to what you have my dad because he makes the ranking people
for
yet i make the real face of what he is p n says
you could fact-check it
i have to fact-check myself because i get it wrong like twice
you're wrong
because i can't read.
No I can read.
What?
Been there.
Been there buddy.
No you can't read.
You can read it.
You just can't say what you're reading.
Been there.
Which is okay.
It's okay.
No I'm looking at multiple images at a time and I'm like um they were here.
No I don't get the rankings wrong.
What I get messed up is and I have to check myself is when I go oh you moved up three down five and I'm like that don't get the rankings wrong. What I get messed up is, and I have to check myself, is when I go, oh, you moved up three, down five.
And I'm like, that don't make sense.
But I'm curious to see where everyone's going to be.
You've been in fourth place for a while.
Don't think you're going to be in fourth place after this?
Well, everyone's three and two.
Everyone's three and two.
Oh, yeah, you were in fourth for a while.
Then you went to first.
And then, yeah.
We have people at three and two left and right right now. Yeah, I think everyone is
Standings yeah pretty much everyone be three and two there's three teams that will be two and three yeah, yeah and
Or wait is anyone gonna be?
Is there any shitty shitty teams?
Everybody Charlie.
Sarah's team.
Sarah's team. That's what I'm playing. I got my nice win.
Sarah's team is two and one and four.
Well, we start wrapping this up.
If we're just going to look at rankings.
So on my phone it has this.
And in Caleb, we trust is going to be one and four.
Good. That is my buddy Charlie
You're the worst fancy who will fire Charlie
That they had to go to quarterbacks. No, that's his friend. Yeah, that's my friend Charlie. Wait, there's two Charlie's
I've been so confused. Oh and Skinner and I forget
Like I'll tag everyone and I'm like I get through I'm like Iarrow and Skinner. And I forget. I'll tag everyone. And I get through.
I'm like, I'm missing.
And Sarah can't find her on Instagram.
But I'm like, I'm missing one.
And I always forget Sparrow.
That's fine.
He doesn't care.
Yeah.
He took Cale Williams, and he's like, all right.
I think it's cool.
And he's just hasn't probably looked at his team since.
That's all right.
Wow.
That's crazy.
I feel like they did pretty good last week.
Do you have any ideas?
So we're coming up on this in about two weeks.
In two weeks, we are filming Halloween.
And we're collectively picking yours.
We have a good idea.
I like it.
We have an idea for him, too. We like it. We have an idea for him to. Yeah yeah yeah. We got yours. If I'm if I'm
Lord Farquaad if you would have read the text messages from him and me it was very funny
because Jack the big Jack wanted to get you. I was like yeah you don't have to actually
do that we can just make that costume look like you know, no, no, we gotta get it
I do it like you wanted like this but more way more money than we needed to I think here's thing we need to
Go all out for it. So like I mean don't go spending 150 bucks on anything. Okay, okay
But like these need to look good like no, we're not doing the Ted Lasso hot dog, whatever the hell you, uh, questionable wrestler.
I was a wrestler.
If you saw my underwear, the problem is we were sitting.
Yeah, we were sitting.
We were sitting in a library.
So, like, we have to take that into account.
We're sitting, but we should make this fun, and I think to do it, we all need to change privately and like come in here and just wallow in it.
I think it's going to be fun.
We need to talk about yours.
I have some ideas.
We might need to re-talk about, I might need to re-talk to each of you about yours.
Because I may or may not be trying to set you up so you guys are matching.
Oh Jesus.
I may have had you guys matching.
You guys both said yes. and now I feel bad. So I'm stopping it. So then I know
what it was. Yeah. Oh thank you. I thought you guys are going to say no. No I know I
feel weird. Oh then can we say it. Yeah. Yeah. So obviously if it's the same one, it's exactly the same one you want to speak
You know what he said he was we get him the football sucker and he's be having around his dick
I was like also we get his cut of football it so that's why he's like, yeah, we should get it
And then he goes actually we could just cut a football
Have sex with this
That would have been so funny love we're here for love go love it would have been funny is like if we talked enough about his and like ours came out we made him do the same thing too just all fucking footballs
No, I think I mean that's a great inside joke for us
But I think we should probably try and find characters or something that that fit well for okay the personality like I really
Yeah, I I mean I
Want to go in on Judd. I don't know what you look like. Judd I don't know what Judd looks like yeah I don't
know what Jewish and racist. Gene thinks that you look like Ross yeah I'm friends but that's
not how hard are you gonna make it my dinosaur David Schwimmer yeah tell me to pivot a lot
I don't think you look like Ross, though.
Just so you know.
Creamhunt's really just going to put you in a body.
I'll tell you what Rachel thinks you look like off camera.
But now that she knows, I'm going to tell you.
But she thinks you look like the coconut or volleyball
from Cast Away.
Wilson?
Yeah.
Can you pull up a picture of Wilson?
OK, can you pull up a picture of Wilson? Can you pull up a picture of Wilson?
That's not where we're going to end the episode.
It's just a picture of me next to Wilson.
We'll pull it up, but I'll just put it up there.
So everyone look at Judd.
Well, I've never seen it, but she said
you look like the coconut.
Is that Wilson or is it the volleyball?
Both of them are Wilson, I think.
Both of them are Wilson.
OK.
What is going on, Rachel? Here, let me end this before we. Both of them are Wilson. Okay. What is going on Rachel?
I thought you liked me.
I thought we were cool.
No.
I thought we were... She's gonna murder me.
She thinks you don't like her.
Not really, but she's like...
Maybe because you say I look like the coconut from...
There's drama!
She goes, does he...
Sometimes I think we have beef. I go, there's no beef.
Oh, we got beef.
It's fucking like Arby's in right here.
We got beef!
We got beef. Speaking of fast food chains,
Chains.
Wendy's.
What the fuck did you just do?
I always take the tab off.
You've had one of these and you are in shambles.
Don't put it back in there! Don't do it again! Just do I always take the tab off you had one of these
It's so stupid your dumb boy
Wendy's is bringing the Krabby Patty to life
October time. Yep. Just you know if you guys want to have a Krabby Patty always fresh never frozen beef at Wendy's take a look At Judd next to the Wilson coconut and tell me he does not look exactly like him. The Krabby Patty or the Coconut?
Coconut.
Bye.
Bye.