Fat Chance Podcast - March Madness Bracket Perfection Ep.160

Episode Date: March 20, 2025

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Let's do this. The most... The most... Enthusiastic, yeah. Yeah, it's great. I mean, like, we might as well tell the people why we missed a week. Yeah, Michael's sick of going to the fucking hospital. Yeah.

They found a... I had when I moved here I had a lot of abdominal pain and I thought it was muscular from like moving in and It went away after two weeks and it came back and I went to The hospital and like you have a fairly large Abscess in your abdominal wall So Jesus I can barely talk right now

They drained it and then they had to put a drain in me so I had a dice send you the picture Yeah, you sent me the picture. Yeah, I Basically had a tube with what looked like a plastic grenade coming out of me, just draining liquid for a week, and that got pulled out of me yesterday. And so now, today, my body's just absolutely exhausted. I don't know why. You can hear it in my voice. And I'm like fighting sleep.

So Rachel, this one's for you. I'm drinking a Red Bull at four o'clock in the afternoon and First of all like how quick does Red Bull hit you that you that you think is gonna help you get through this day I don't drink them like ever Yeah, so like a little boost again. I don't think the cup of coffee. I had today did anything Clearly it didn't but I did yeah yeah I do the little Red Bulls, like the little baby ones before shows if I need it. Yeah. And I picked one up and it was like the brand new, the new summer edition. And it was pink and it was the worst flavor I've ever had in my entire life there the only one I really like is sugar free and Some will be out there be like well. It's actually worse for you than regular sugar shut the fuck up

But I saw they have like they have they're like coke zero version now There's Red Bull zero out, which I don't think I'll be allowed to try. I'm drinking Liquid Death right now, Dr. Death, which is their Dr. Pepper sparkling water. That can't be good. Honestly? Like at all.

So they have three flavors. They have a root beer, they have a Dr. Death, and they have a cola. Which is, um, I don't know how, the root beer one tastes not the greatest. I like Book of Death so I'm not going to shit on their product. But this one's much better than the root beer, and now the coal one is the only one I haven't tried yet. I Think with flavored anything where you're trying to make like a soda flavored anything It just comes down to tolerance like how much are you really looking for that soda flavor? Yeah, this better be so close to dr. Pepper. Otherwise, I'm gonna hate it like it's obviously not gonna be it's supposed to give you just a hint of it give you the kick But yeah, I'm not a huge fan of

soda flavored like carbonated waters or like the craze right now, which is like the the ollie pops and the poppies the prebiotic sodas Which I really got into for a bit They had some soda flavors and they have a lot of fruit flavors and there's like one brand that I'm like I like the fruit the other brand like I like the soda flavors. You just I Don't know. I don't know where I'm going with this But do you feel better now do you feel like your doctor visits are done? They're not done. I got one more tomorrow, but I am eating my primary tomorrow, okay, and

Yeah, I feel much better I mean, I don't have a tube like a catheter tube going down through my abdomen anymore which I was thinking I'm like alright. I have this tube going through me. I have this bandage on that's making my skin react after a week. I'm itchy beyond all belief. And I'm like, okay, they're going to go in, they're going to assess me. They're going to be like, hey, you know what, either it's got to stay in a little longer or it's coming out.

And it obviously came out. So I'm like, okay, do I like do I get a little anesthesia? Do you put me under do you numb me? Do you pull this out? Do I need stitches? Like how do we do this? She goes I'm just gonna do it right now. I go. What do you mean right now? She goes I'm just gonna pull it out. I go. What are you talking about? She goes three two one and then just pulled it out of me and She's like it's gonna feel a little weird. I'm like, yep. I felt that one in my They pull it from your mouth?

No, I had a tube coming through my abdomen. So they pulled it through, where did they pull it from? So it's basically just like a, it's a tube. It went in, you can see my bandage kind of right here. Yeah, show us the skin. And it went into the abscess. And then they just, show us the scare. It went right in there and it went into the abscess and then they just they pulled it out and then they put this little gauze over it with some sticky tape and they go they slapped me on the ass and go you're good to go. I go there was a hole in me. Do you need to stitch your ass? It'll close after two days. I'm like holy shit. Do you think this is gonna do it for anybody like anybody watching but yeah, I love Michael's

absence Yeah, because remember when I brought the kink thing You mean Jack in his basement and there was a kink where someone likes to like fuck the colostomy hole So and that's basically what I had I'd like a step down colostomy bag. Did they let you keep the abscess? No, no. You can't keep the abscess. It's like just a ball of liquid. I did ask Rachel if I could keep the little bulb

that it was draining into. I named him bulbous granada. And she goes, you will not keep that. I go, but I kept my breathing apparatus from my appendectomy. She goes, absolutely not. I go, but I'll put it through the my appendectomy. She goes absolutely not I go That's different. That's she I was like I'll put it through the dishwasher. No We will never use that dishwasher again then yeah, that's good. It is disgusting I

I'm very proud of myself, so I took my last dose of antibiotics today and I Didn't drink the whole time. I didn't drink over st. Paddy's day which is hard it's one of my like favorite days to go out day drinking and we went to an Irish bar me Rachel and my buddy who lives here and I stayed sober the whole time I still had fun which you too can do it kids but it was weird because like both of them were so protective of me because I still had the drain in. So I had this, it's in me and then the tube and it went into this and it came out to like here if I wanted to.

It was like a tail. So I just like wrapped it up and I put it in my pocket and we're on the dance floor like in this back Like tent area just listening to banger after banger and I'm doing my best To to move without it hurting and the like it's half my moves are defensive and I'm like just don't hit me Don't hit me and then like someone would come through and then you'd see my buddy just be like back up back up They were treating me like I was the president Rachel would grab me and like grit me and like bring me in like no one's touching Him did she look at them? Yeah, did you have an earpiece? Good good money, but it's funny cuz it's like they would ask that and I really appreciate you. Okay. Okay, you doing good Because people would bump into me and they're like, are you gonna be pissed? I can't yeah, cuz no one here. No one here knows

Coming out of you also brought yourself to a place You knew that there would be a lot of people I would have went to like maybe it just more of a chill place I don't know you could just sit down and not try to do that But yeah, I mean we did I we had a 30th birthday party we went to did I could talk this whole episode about what happened this weekend, but Went to 30th birthday party. I had my first ever non-alcoholic margarita very good I had my first ever non-alcoholic Guinness Guinness might do

The best non-alcoholic version of their drink by any beer company. Like it was almost spot on. But it was a good weekend. I'm glad it came out. Hopefully it doesn't come back. I have no, they don't tell me anything. I keep asking them, like, do you know where this came from? Is it gonna come back? They're like, we don't know.

Yeah. Yeah, it was tough. But it was a good weekend. You could have probably got it from stress or moving too much. I mean, probably moving your body a lot. Yeah, I don't know. I really don't know. I thought it was, they first thought it was a hernia.

And so when I went to get a scan, I got up and I looked at the radi the the radiologist who goes at a hernia. She goes no, I don't think so I go okay And then I sat in there for 20 minutes as she was like talking to the doctor and try and get a hold of him I go you're only freaking me out a little more that you don't know what this is Yeah, but also what the people that read the scans or like just take the scans. I don't think they know No, they are like the the radiologist the people who read them should know better than anyone I believe according to Rachel I also she she is right I get a little annoyed with her and I apologize

But she she's a nurse and she asks a lot of questions and then she goes I want to be there when the doctor comes And I'm like I will just tell you what they said she was you will forget Or tell me the wrong thing and I I mean it happens all the time I use the raw she laughs at me on the wrong wording for everything I'm like, you know what if I if we don't do this bandage, I'm gonna die. She goes you're you're fine. I so when I Got my facial reconstruction of surgery My my mom was like I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna come down and I'm gonna I'm gonna be there for and I was like When I got my facial reconstruction surgery, my mom was like, I'm gonna be there, I'm gonna come down and I'm gonna be there for her.

And I was like, why? Like, there's no purpose. Like, Rachel's good, because she's a nurse and this and that, but my mom, like, what's she gonna do? She's gonna come there and just worry the whole time? Like, just be pacing around the, you know? It's not gonna help. That's not gonna be the vibe I want before I pacing around the, you know, it's not gonna help. That's not gonna be the vibe I want

before I go into surgery, you know? Absolutely not. And having Rachel has helped because I had to flush this drain every morning with like five milliliters of fluid. And I was like, you're doing this. I don't wanna do this. This is, you'll know, you'll remember to sanitize, wear gloves.

I will just scratch my balls, then try to drain it out. And be like, you have a new abscess from whatever disgusting liquid was attached to you. Because showering, I had to Saran wrap my entire torso so I wouldn't get anything wet. My belly button has seen soap in a week and a half. Yeah, that's funny We can not talk about gross upsets all

episode as well We do have a mark we do have a march madness thing going on right now, which is very fun So if you're watching this Thursday morning, and you got through all that weird abscess talk, go to our Instagram page, go to anything and fill out a... Go to Instagram, Facebook, go to Twitter or X because I started that and that's the only post we have on there now is Is the fat chance thing five dollars per bracket you can enter two brackets Password is fat chance 2025 capital F capital C If you do not feel comfortable Venmo and jud the five dollars or ten depending on how

You know Zealous you're feeling you can Venmo me which is totally fine Wait wait wait has anyone Venmo do you because they don't feel comfortable Venmo me well You know what some people don't know you and so Like when our friends and family do it and they're just like they like my friends are like oh, yeah He does a podcast, but has never listened to it But like I'll enter a tournament for five bucks to win all the cash and a custom shirt. Yeah, I'm just gonna Venmo you instead of this random guy. So, yeah.

Yeah, $5 takes, the winner takes all. You also get some free merch. Go ahead, it's all luck anyways. You know, you might win, who knows? I have West Virginia going all the way. Yeah, people do it off of colors, people do it off mascots do people do it off of colors people do it off mascots People do it off of just who has a cooler name Diego's doing it off of bulge size from the shorts. He saw on every team

Yeah, Diego also put two brackets in and had to message me. Hey take one of the brackets out Yeah, because he messaged me he goes. Why do I have to do to it? You don't And he called everyone dorks for doing two. I'm like, yeah, honestly, one's enough. But if you want to give us more money to put in the pool. So yeah, that's the whole thing. It's a lot of fun. I sadly get in too many brackets, where it's like,

I have every team going. How much money do you think you spend? I probably spend. You are between fantasy football and March Madness How much money do you spend on entry fees a year an entry fees? Probably like a hundred bucks a couple hundred bucks. I Was gonna say if it's a hundred that's some low entry. It's gotta be you gotta be close to 300 I'm not Yeah, but I'm not I'm not that high. Like just because like, I also win a lot of money.

Like the, you know, the fancy football, I won all three. Like I was in all three money lines for all of them. So it all works out in the end. That's fair. But still, I've never won any money. Actually, I took, I think I took first place or second place, maybe first place in my freshman year dorm bracket. I put Duke and

the year Duke and Wisconsin played in the championship, I put them both in the championship and I had Duke winning. And I went to the University of Wisconsin, they're like, what the fuck is wrong with you? I go, I'm just not dumb. Yeah, I mean, that's smart, that's smart. I think there's a lot of people that, they say you should make three brackets. One, called havoc.

So just go in there and start creating havoc. Just click buttons to see whoever feels the best You know a bunch of stuff like that then number two Do it with your head Click who you think is gonna win actually thinks gonna win and then your last bracket do it with your heart all the people you'd love like just trying to make it so then you least have your three brackets of All the people you'd love like just trying to make it so then you we said you're three brackets of

You know things don't work. That's the here's the problem. Here's the problem with that. I Get it, but it's also like being in multiple fantasy football leagues and then all of a sudden it's oh Yeah, it's week 13 and you're really hoping Jamar chase gets exactly 16.2 points to beat one team. But like not like it's just, you don't get the breaks. You can't do over that. It's got to be exactly this. It's like, it needs to be this. And now you're sitting there and you're like, all right, I need this team to win to get into like third place in one of my tournaments.

And then, but they don't win. Like, yeah, it's a nightmare. I need Auburn to get to the final four and only one, but they can't do it in other ones. To me, two is great, and you hope one implodes right away, so you can just root for the other, because if two are doing okay, then you're like, God damn it, because then you're like,

now I'm not gonna, this isn't gonna go well. Well, for me, I have the work one. I have my college friends one. I have our fat chance one. I have my fantasy football buddies one. I have my, yeah, I have my other friends, family one that really wanted me. And I was like, all alright, I can do that.

So I have five. What is the biggest buy-in? $20. Okay, that is the most I would do for a buy-in for March Madness. Yeah, and it has the lowest amount of people in it. So you don't win like crazy mo, but you have the better chance. Yeah, chance yeah my parents make a bracket every year which they love my mom at one

time because they make a bracket every year and I put them in one of the groups and my mom one time got the number 16 one right when the 16 beat the number one seed which only happened twice one of those times my mom called it which was wild yeah and she probably had no idea no no and then she had him like and then I think they won another game so she had him like going to the final four lead eight or something like crazy and we're like we're like whoa that's wild she didn't win at all cuz like the rest of her teams were junk, but yeah, it's crazy Exactly for me with March Madness. I love the whole tournament

But if I'm being honest with you, the best are is the first round Yeah, the first round is the best or your games on all the time. You could just flip through the channels You're at work. You just put it on the the TV screen.'s like when the Masters are on. You're like, you know what? For some reason, it's always gonna be sunny out that day. You're like, you're itching to get outside, or like to a patio at a bar. Like it's like the first, this is the start of spring, is March Madness for me.

And so, this is great. The first is, once your team disappears, whether it's your college team that you're rooting for, that you know isn't gonna make it, but you hope they win maybe two games just to make it exciting, or your championship team goes, my interest disappears pretty quickly. Well, for me, once my team gets beat,

and if they get beat in the first round or whatever, I love that they have seedings next to the names. So then you just root for that one. You just root for the higher seed. You're just like, all right, I just wanna see upset. I wanna see mayhem. I want it to create everyone's bracket to be broken. I want that.

Always rooting for the underdog. Always rooting for the underdog. And so fun. You're so right about it being the beginning of March too. Like the beginning of spring. It's so cool to have just the warm weather ready to go, watching basketball. Yeah, and this is the number one time to get vasectomies.

Really? Yeah, so because, so vasectomies are massive right now. So you sit down and watch, so they say Vesectomy doctors are on like 24 7 Now it's wild I Mean, it's smart but like alright. I'm not dedicated to the game that much I'm not dedicated the game at all because I was looking through if you're doing if you're gonna get one

You would probably do it right before the Masters. Oh game at all because I was looking for if you're doing if you're gonna get one you would probably do it right before the Masters oh when would I get my vasectomy yeah that's a really good question when would you get your vasectomy what are you hoping like what's your downtime yeah yeah you have to sit on a donut for like three days and not do anything. So the question is when would it be the ideal time for you to get your vasectomy so you have three days of uninterrupted television for sporting events? Yeah.

I think that the top three are definitely going to be March Madness,'s gonna be the Masters mm-hmm and then the third one ooh what would be the third one it depends on what you like I think if you're a baseball guy it's opening weekend and if you're a football guy I'd say like the playoffs a kickoff yeah well I'd say not even the kickoff. I would say the divisional round of the playoffs. Because there's multiple games that you can just watch like that. Mine would be the first week of NFL season because it's a bunch of games.

You're excited, it's not do or die. And for me it's like the options. So yeah, it would be those three. But, cause if you do playoffs, like basketball, it's every other day. So you're only getting two of the games. Yeah, yeah, for sure. But like, for baseball, I think the playoffs

would be good too, but also you're right, they trade off days for a lot of that. So although I was so I just bought tickets for the Rocky Brewer game here April 9th Thank God the Rockies suck. I bought four tickets for 28 total dollars here. It was it's incredible. Yeah I'm not even gonna go to our seats. I'm just gonna go to the rooftop bar. Have a good time on a Wednesday night But I looked at their schedule they play like 11 days in a row to start the season Oh, yeah, that's a lot of baseball they do and then also some games where you cancel just cuz it's just weather but I mean

You know But sure especially the Brewers like they have the opening day Usually gets canceled if it's not at Miller Park So yeah, it's I'm excited. I live next to the stadium baseball starts again It's another like indicator of warm weather is coming March. Man is into baseball like I Think we went through

we just were finishing up the the lull of the year I would call it the like after new years um into up until Saint Patty's Day kind of thing. Paddy's Day is the kickoff of like, hey Outdoor fun is a coming. And yeah, I'm excited Let me check my camera real quick. Yeah, and we're back Sweet. Did you you be make it in time? Oh, yeah I think it's fine if I plug it in it's not like one of those batteries that Flips it. All right, you look like you're ready for the game. Well, what happened this weekend that?

I have two things before we get the game, but what happened this weekend? So, obviously we went through all the abscess stuff, not feeling myself. It sucks because I had my buddy Jake, my old roommate, came to visit, we were supposed to go skiing, and then go out for my buddy Jake my old roommate. He came to visit we were supposed to go skiing And then go out for my buddy's birthday. So It turns out

My buddy Jake and my buddy Connor They They like to party together. They got a little too inebriated Friday night that they missed waking up to go skiing Saturday so they didn't go either so I didn't feel that bad they come to the birthday party my buddy Jake ends up taking a bus up to the mountains meeting his brother there in Breck and he's gonna go skiing Sunday and then bus back Sunday Sunday around two o'clock here I get a

message from my buddy Jake it just says some things never change this is my injury-prone friend he's in a sling so he came down for two days of skiing he got five runs in one day he fell in like powder twisted his arm dislocated his shoulder like a posterior dislocation, I think was what they said, which the ski patrol was like, this is extremely rare. They had to like take him to the hospital and they were cranking on him to get it back in place.

And then he just like came back, he just looked defeated. I felt so bad. I'm like, I suddenly feel okay. Like no pain whatsoever. Like this is great. I'm like, I do now okay. Like no pain whatsoever. Like this is great. I'm like, I do now have to get up at four o'clock in the morning to take you to the airport because you with one arm is not taking your ski bag

and other bags to the airport. Yeah, it was an eventful weekend for us. My thing I want to get before the game is did you see that our old sponsor is using our content? Excuse me, so as you guys know it's on our channel that we had the The thing on saying You know I'm gonna tell you no, I don't say their name, but okay say but they shall not be Yeah, they should have not be named

We would have drinks at the bar If you're a bar where we'd make drinks and they have that do you see if they stole it and had Milferrene do it? They're doing our show they're pretty much doing our show with the other podcast that they now sponsor And then they had Milverene made drinks for everybody shut the fuck oh my phone's right here I don't know what it's called. I didn't I just saw the clip of it that they put out and it's novarine and it's like oh, it's so funny because They're just stealing our idea I knew that get under your skin I

Knew that'd be a colostomy bag. I, I would be squirting juices if I saw that Stop it when you squirt my juice I it's so funny. I am going to refrain from saying if you can't say anything nice do not say anything at all That's good. That's good Yeah, and like I said the other pod the other podcast was in a coffee shop I saw them and they were working on stuff to be honest. I have no issue with the other show I really don't they've done nothing wrong to us. I And it a lot of it is our fault a little bit, but like also not really in the slightest

Yeah, no they Well, yeah, we could we could talk about that but I mean that is they Wanted what they wanted and it is oh, yeah, you know What's funny is like? Where did all this money come from? Oh, yeah for sure. Where did this money come from? Well, I don't even think they released their canned cocktails Promo from two kids on Beat. We need to move on. Because I'm gonna get like, I'm sick of getting sued too.

So I just paid off the last lawsuit. I really don't want a slander lawsuit. You know what? I will tell you this. I do have a poster still that is here. It's a cool poster. But it hurts. It really hurts to have it up.

I have two bottles of booze from our time in Wisconsin here. Then I told you I have to basically cuss it out every time someone uses it. It's funny. That's funny. So, if you two are hungover from shitty alcohol, Is it? It's funny that's funny so Are hung over from shitty alcohol Drink your drink drink booze better which by the way you know you need to send me some booze better by the way

I want I do I do need to send you I have a bag of it Yeah, I want I want to because I was thinking the other day I didn't go too crazy But I did stay out a little bit later after a show because I saw a buddy. He was featuring I haven't seen the biddies from Minneapolis, so I was like brothers just tired. I was wishing I had a little bit of booze better So yeah, you need to send me some sweet. Yeah, or you can come down to Denver. I'll just send it back with you Okay Sweet. Yeah, or you can come down to Denver and I'll just send it back with you. Okay. I can do that.

But we're gonna do it. Okay, now that I'm riled up. Yeah, now you're riled up, ready to go. That was better than a Red Bull. Anyways, we're gonna call finish the platitude. You know how we talked about the old Southern platitudes, like how your dad says stuff of like all these weird sayings that you don't know where they came from? Yeah, I get to finish the saying?

You're going to finish these southern platitudes and then I can also give you what they mean if that helps. Yeah, let's do this. But a lot of these are insane. Alright. Alright, so finish the platitude. She's got more nerve than a what? Say it again. She's got more nerve than a what?

Than a porcupine with no quills No, it's she's got more nerve than a bad tooth Okay, all right It means someone is stubborn or fearless. Fair. All right, finish the platitude. It's hotter than a billy goat in a what? It's hotter than a billy goat in a potato farm. You're so close. It's hotter than a billy goat in a pepper patch.

Fuck. Okay. It just means it's hot? It means it's scolding hot, yeah. I don't know if billy goats are known to be hot, but I guess so. Yeah, I don't know if billy goats are known to be in pepper patches either, but. Here we go, number three.

It's about as useless as a screen door on a what? It's about as useless as a screen door on a what? Why am I blinking it's about as useless as a screen door on an oceanfront property Now it's what is uses a screen door in a submarine Damn it. I was thinking water and I just oceanfront property Yeah, it makes it I was thinking it it was in the you want the screen door But I was thinking like backyard gazebo and like tsunamis and stuff like yeah, and it was just gonna come in so I Was but yeah

Here's another one. It's about as useless as tits on a what for pick there you go You said that one. I do, I do. I was seeing if you remembered. Hell yeah. All right, this is another crazy one. Just because you put a possum in a barn doesn't make it a what? Say it again.

Just because you put a possum in a barn doesn't make it a what? A good wife Just because you put a possum in a barn doesn't make it a good wife. Yeah, just cuz you domesticated doesn't make it a good thing Just because you put a possum in a barn doesn't make it a horse is the same Potato tomato And it means appearance doesn't change reality Number six I'm finer than a frog's hair blank

What I'm finer than a frog's blank. I'm finer than a frogs hair Blank What is the rest? I don't even know where this is going. I'm fine. The frogs have hair Yeah, and it means you're doing well. This is the saying says means you're doing well finer than a frogs hair Standing up. Oh, you're close. Split four ways. Oh, because they're very thin hairs. Yeah, fine, fine hairs. Okay.

So, this next one means that you're very talkative. She could talk the ear off a what? A megaphone. Ooh, a cornstalk. A cornstalk. She could talk an ear off a cornstalk. All right, here's another one. Matter than a what?

Matter? Yeah, you've probably heard this one. Okay. Matter? Yeah, you've probably heard this one. Okay. Matter than a woman at a divorce hearing. Or a man at a divorce hearing. It's matter than a wet hen.

A wet hen. Do hens not like being wet? I thought it was cats that don't like being wet. Oh, I don't know. That's just the same. Well, I know cats don't like being wet. Actually, I've had a few cats that really like being wet. That pussy gets nice and wet.

OK, I knew you were going to go there, and I was going. All right. That's a joke I would make, and then you would cuss me out for making. Yeah, but you wouldn't say the word pussy. The shoe was on a different foot. Alright, here we go. He's got too many irons in the fires to blank. He's got too many irons in the fire to cook a hot dog.

Ooh, that's actually not bad. That's a pretty good one. You can probably start that one. He's got too many irons in the fire to shoe a horse. The fuck does that mean? I have no clue, but it means something about being too busy. And I also think it has probably made in itself because they make horseshoes. Yeah, maybe.

Yeah, because too many irons in the fire, too much heat is going to the iron. There's not enough heat. I should have just said too many irons in the fire to cook dinner. I get it, you're too busy, but also there's just not enough heat. You've expended your energy. Yeah, that's fair. Alright, here we go, another one. Well butter my butt and call me a what? the You're right with the biscuit one. Well butter my button call me a biscuit Close enough I didn't hear I didn't hear any of these I thought I was just kind of making up my own but All right here we go the boys about as sharp as blank which means you're dumb. Ummm... sharp as a bouncy ball.

That's a good one. I mean that could work. I mean it's just, this is just pretty much anything. That boy is about as sharp as a mashed potato sandwich. See now, I get it but did you toast the bread? Because sometimes those corners on toasted bread could get a little sharp. Some ciabatta. Yeah, some ciabatta, nice toasted sourdough.

All right. If the blank don't rise, the good Lord's willing. Dick. If your penis don't rise, the Lord is willing you shall not have sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky. Was that a Southern Bill Clinton impression? I guess. Yeah, I think that makes sense. If your penis does not rise, you are not meant to do the deed

If the creek don't rise the creek don't wow way off All right next she's wound up tighter than a what? Who she's wound up tighter Than a virgin's ball of yarn She's wound up tighter than a she's wound up tighter than a $3 watch Mmm, I can't change my answer to Beyblade Apparently three dollar watches are wound tight. I guess I don't know Yeah, I don't really get that one

All right Number 14. He's so crooked. He could sleep in a blank and never touch the sides He's so crooked a pool whoo I mean similar a barrel a barrel that doesn't make sense to me it makes no sense because if he's that crooked he's touching both sides yeah and probably the top and bottom but but here's the last one I'm so

hungry I could eat the north end of a southbound what? I could eat the north end of a southbound horse. So close. Skunk. Skunk?

I'm so hungry, I could eat the north end of a southbound skunk. I'm so hungry I could eat the north end of a southbound skunk So the head of a skunk heading south I think that's the but I think But if you're eating the north end, I guess if it's going south and north end would be yeah, okay I was okay. I like that. I like that that was good. Yeah, so you can use them take them now use them in your coming just meetings with people and

Interviews, I don't think I remember a single one of those Yeah, so now you can use them I like like that. I think we should create our own I think I think so there are these two guys I see on tik-tok a lot who they'll come up with a category like here's two I saw what today's like here are new ways to ask if your buddy wants a new drink and then they just do they go back and forth yeah okay that ice getting lonely or shit like that it's it's pretty creative. I like that It's what it kind of this kind of remind me of yeah, we used to do that at like weddings

I probably already told you the story like me my buddies We thought of like these sayings that dads say to get a refill to the to the bartender. Oh because there was it was a it was a You know open bar so the bartender just gets the same you know But it's always like crazy stuff and the funniest one we came up with is just going up to the bar with our glass But this one had a hole in it I think my dad's just like hey And then just put it down that's all okay yeah like you didn't say

anything to the bar enough if you can go to the bar go hey shake put it down you've been to the bar too many times if they know you I think it's always funny because they always have to say something like up this was awful I'll have another you know yeah they try the little humor I also like it when they you see people like they'll like walk into the bar? They'll get their drink come back. It's your second drink They go hey, I'll have another and the bartender looks around go I've served 300 people since you What did you have I have no clue like you have another what I'll get you a water

That's always funny when they have these these shows Where people go missing it's like a drama. It's like Law and Order SVU or anything like that I mean John Mulaney has a joke about it But like they go to the bartender and they're like have you seen this person and I'm like, this is a full-on nightclub They've worked days since this person's gone missing How would you think they're gonna expect to remember one person that they serve for like a little bit? Yeah, I remember him. He had two vodka sodas and then didn't come back to the bar

You know real average Joe looking guy. Yeah. Yeah the thing with those shows I was thinking about too. I Think those have to be the writers for those shows have to be about too I think those have to be the writers for those shows have to be the biggest psychopaths or they need to be the first suspect in every murder case like if they live in this state that someone's murdered you should always be brought into questioning if you write for like CSI like it is you're like imagine telling something like my job is to think of new fun creative ways to either? murder Kidnap dismember or anything else every week and this shows been out for 16 seasons Well, that's what like CSI

Did a great job of because I watched I was a little bit of a CSI had in high school Yeah, so but I watched I had like the DVDs and the behind-the-scenes and They were like going through their episodes for the for the season and they're like, oh, yeah These episodes are based off of true Things that this FBI agent had like seen so like they'll twist the stories But it's all kind of like similar to what has happened Yeah, so that's it. Not everything is like crazy from their brains things But some of it has to be and that's a little concerning

I mean I like people to do that. I like a good twist I mean, there's probably I think more books about twists than than TV shows, you know It's a lot of stuff is based off of the suspects Then then TV shows, you know, it's a lot of stuff Suspects Like hey back of the mind What because you know what? Let's say they aren't like there's a show that's like, you know The writers come up with everything on their own sure. They might take some inspiration That show would be high on my list to watch of like, okay

Where do these coincide with other real life stories because this case is open, it's eerily similar to episode three. Yeah, for me, I like to be more left to whimsy and I just like don't think about that. But I'm weird. Yeah, you want to be like, oh my gosh, this happened? We need to find these people who made it. Yeah, I do I want to know I watch like

It does intrigue me a lot like we're watching Westworld right now and I'll sometimes I'll look at Rachel and be like how Did you think of this? like cuz the way I think it's hard to conceptualize it for me because I View a show how I think of things it's like I would need to to write this I would need to picture Almost the entire thing out Before I write episode one like all right. This is what's gonna happen now We break it into parts versus people are probably doing like I

Don't know It's just like there's so many different, those shows with the twists and the turns. It's impressive that people write this. And I know Wes was a little bit of a remake, but shit, it's. I get jealous of like, two things I get jealous of with the people that write it is like,

sketches that I find really funny but very simple. Yeah. And be like, why didn't I think of that? You know like I think of like the I think you should leave the Pay it pay it forward where he tries to Pay it pay it forward and then just try to type it. That's so funny And but it's also like why didn't I think of that that is so funny? That's you know those things though. I think I Don't know the correct percentage. Yes. Why didn though I think I don't know the correct percentage yes why didn't I think of that but also you could have thought of

that but you probably wouldn't have performed it like he did oh someone like yeah shit like it's just not as good like oh I get it yeah but nowhere near as good as yeah execution like I mean he said, Tim Robinson was like, yeah, there's something I just can't make happen. He wanted to make a one about, do you know how the blue angels, like the airplanes? Yeah. He wanted to make one called the Blue Devils, where they're

undersea submarines and all you see on the surface is bubbles. And he's like, that's so funny. And it's a crazy funny concept, but how would you make that? Yeah, you can't, but I like the idea. There's a lot, I mean, I think the idea of sketches, to anyone who does comedy, is fun.

It's a lot of work, and if it isn't executed like that, because then all of a sudden you're doing your ideas and then they don't, you do an idea just because you have it, you put it out, and it's not the level of execution it probably should be, and then all of a sudden it kind of just ruins it for you. Yeah, yeah, I mean, also you're going through an entire product that you wrote and you're gonna have switches of like it not Visualizing what exactly you wanted and you have to live with that as well because sketches is hard. You're not gonna get the exact

Perfect, you know thing you're looking for and then you're editing it and you're like, all right Well, you know, that's why you take a bunch of takes and find the best one Yeah, I didn't do that in college when I do my movie. I did one take and I go well This is what it's gonna look like I just found a Clip of something that I shot With my buddy, and I remember how I shot it it I didn't shoot like a bunch of takes and then like clip it up I shot like one and then I shot the next thing shot the next thing shot the next thing and just put them all together right and it

looked it looks funny but it's it's it's great yeah I I hate that stuff I would much rather be the person that's like not act I guess acting versus oh I I and you editing and getting on that thing but I just don't have the patience for it. It's I have the patience for it if it's something I'm genuinely interested in but if it's yeah but if it's content that's never gonna see the light of day and then somehow used against us by other entities later down the line not not really interested in it not really not really enticed to do it again with someone else not really looking to build an entire show and a whole up extra episode outside of the norm and edit the whole thing and send it off and it not be used and wasting

a couple hours of my time and my friends time and only getting paid probably about over the course of several months a couple cents an hour and then just getting kicked to the curb due to reasons that don't make sense in the future because those reasons don't seem to be the reason they're not working with other people And then they give out a big check at the end to other people because they care Yeah But you know who does care? Fat chance cares because our golf outing is in August this year

And I just had a conversation with the golf course It's either gonna be the 23rd or it's gonna be the 30th now because you know what we want as many people there as possible And we benefit both the MS Society and the beat goes on foundation Through and through because when we say we give we give we don't take we give we don't give then take we just give And you know what we're gonna do it with a smile on our face we're gonna work our asses off and you guys are gonna have the time of your life at the third annual fat chance charity classic at Deer Track golf course either the second to last or last week of August so this is Michael and Judd signing out in anger wishing you the best of luck on your

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