Fat Chance Podcast - Our Worst Reviews Yet! Ep.170

Episode Date: June 5, 2025

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whole like setup for editing yours now and if we go over the 60 minutes or whatever where if you have to do it twice it's just a nightmare for me to edit it so they're always gonna be under an hour now yeah we do anything virtually we're the anti Joe Rogan we want to keep it as short as possible yeah we know you don't want to listen. We don't want to listen. We don't want to edit. We barely listen to these. We listen so badly that one time we put on an episode and it didn't have audio and it's one of our biggest episodes. It is and everyone seems to think we gave them a 2,000 view

benchmark but it was 3,000. So I do want to talk to you about that. We did talk It is and everyone seems to think we gave them a 2000 view benchmark But it was 3000 so I do want to talk to you about that We did talk said we're gonna give it 2000. I said this episode gets 2000 you raised the three But we also agreed in the week that it first released. It's in the week. It's in the week. So I Listen, I'm not backing down from a challenge. I'm really not. But I appreciate everyone that has clicked on it because like numbers are going up the last couple weeks. Like it's it's been wonderful to see but we have to be honest with ourselves. You had a week to get it done. And you kind of gotta be sticklers like the rules are that you

have a week to get it done and And if you get that homework in late, we're not grading it the same, you know? We got, yeah, you get docked. Like max is a 90%. And that 90% is us just showing up again this week. And giving you another chance. No, it's, the challenge is there. It was 2,000 likes or

3,000 views which is if we had three thousand 2,000 likes well, that's what you said is like no I said views I was always on views I just do the views and they got there that that video that we Originally said that Did they got there, but it got there this week. That's three week old episode. It is, and you know what? Again, I appreciate it. Go back, keep listening to it.

Get it to 5,000, nothing's gonna happen, it'd be great. And it's 3,000 in a week, and you know what? 3,000 in a week. We're performing better. We're back up to our 1,000 a week numbers, which is really nice. And I don't know, I know exactly why. We're putting up to our thousand a week numbers, which is really nice, and I don't know I know exactly why we're putting out Soul challenges is what we'll call them. I

Think we're people are rising to the occasion and it's always great Yeah, I got a I got more than one DM On our account being like hey, you know it hit 2000 2,000, right? And then they were asking, giving me instructions as to how they would like your feet set up. I was like, guys, that's not how this works. Yeah, I think it's very funny. I think the challenge is there, and if they rise to it, I will abide.

But you also have to abide by the rules. but you also have to abide by the rules, you know If you want me to buy by the challenge you have to abide by the rules as well Only fair you gotta do your do your homework submit it on time. Yeah, and only then only then Will we consider this? Yeah, how was how was your weekend? Weekend was good weekend was good Friday, we went wild and went to Costco. Went to Costco, got a few things, took it easy because we had my buddy Connor's birthday party

Saturday night, which we got out of hand. Definitely most I've consumed in a while. Yesterday was a little brutal. A little hungover, a little tired. But also I'm just like worn down. Got a little head cold too. So like this yesterday sucked. Already better today but you know, a little tired. But yeah, Costco Friday birthday party Saturday, but you know, a little tired. But yeah, Costco Friday, birthday party Saturday, yesterday, kind of like a detox, reset,

get ready for the week kind of thing. And already making plans for the next couple weeks. I think we're gonna do a Greek Fest next weekend. Oh. It's gonna be, yup. And I'm looking forward to the Renaissance Fair. I gotta ask you this. Have you ever been to one?

No. No. Okay, do you have to dress up to go to the Renaissance Fair? Do I have to go get chain link armor or talk to John Barron's? I think it's encouraged. It's encouraged. Yeah.

But if I don't, can I still participate? Yeah, sure. Because Rachel was like, no, you have to dress up to otherwise They won't let you in oh, I think it's her way to try and get me to just dress up I'm like I don't want to go by I Don't know like what do you wear to a Renaissance fair besides like armor? I look like a pirate Pirate okay, you know I don't know

Yeah, I think you'll you'll find some stuff If not, there's probably vendors outside that you can get some stuff, but she might be right she might know more than me I don't know She's never been to one either But it sounds like she googled it Yeah, she apparently I just have to she doesn't have to dress up. I have to dress up and look a fool She's not dressing up, but I don't know she is but I don't even know when that is But I know we're gonna go to it this summer and cuz I always wanted to go to it in Milwaukee

Or in Wisconsin. Yeah, yeah, it never went but I'd love a good old turkey leg and You know some mead whatever else they have there yeah I've never been to one I've never been wanting to I don't know that's never been my style I'm it's so it's so Lord of the Rings for me that I'm like too much I'm at the point where I just like my weekends I I wanna try new things. Like I don't need to just, hey what do you wanna do? It's like let's just go to the bar and have a drink

or let's just go like, like don't get me wrong, every once in a while, love to go to a brewery, sit outside, your camera following you is gonna bother me so much again today. But just like, let's have an activity to do. Let's have something we could talk about afterwards. Like, hey, what'd you guys do? We sat in a circle.

It's like, no, I dressed up like a clown and I went and frolicked in a field. Yeah. And then they gave me beer. Yeah, see? So dress up like a clown. Be a jester, be a court jester. Oh, I could, I could.

Yeah. This'll be fun, I'll send you pictures for sure. I had a crazy weekend It was just a lot of shows. I was up in the UP doing a show at a casino Casinos, I don't know how you feel about the news, but casinos are Just sad If you if yeah, cuz I had to get early. I had to get there like 4pm. And a 4pm Thursday at a casino

is just not the demographic that you would want spending their money. No, that, yeah, that's not the fun casino crowd. You need like the Saturday night drunks be like, we're going, we're going to play blackjack whatever bowl

Yeah, and like that's you're zooming in and out. This is terrible for me But yeah, that it's got to be a sad crowd at 4 p.m. On a Thursday Yeah, a lot of bingo lot of you bingo was there people getting ready for bingo bingo started not like six or something Maybe something like that because there was a line outside bingo But then like the slot machines were just packed with people and they looked like they've been there for a while They haven't got I haven't left. Yeah, they're like just hunched just hitting Hitting it was just yeah, it was not you know you think of a casino. Oh, yeah people are winning big Oh, yeah, food is one's winning there was no energy whatsoever and I also think casinos outside of Vegas

like just in general comparatively they have to look so sad like even because I've been to Pado in Milwaukee on a Saturday night and it hasn't been busy and it doesn't like you know everyone's having fun or like the groups of guys that come in that are hammered? They're like let's I just won 200 bucks We're going out tonight So so the the place that I went has a golf course that is on to it That's very nice And they must do these golf packages where people can just go do the bachelor party or have a guys weekend Where they all this golf so around a little bit, but the golfers came in the casino and like,

so then they were still in their like golf, like they came straight from the course to the casino. They had their good, good hats on, you know, their good, good roped hats, like everyone. It was very funny. And I was posted up the roulette table cause I had some time to kill. I'm playing low amounts, and I only play a certain way.

And it's very tedious, and I don't win a lot of money, but I don't lose a lot of money. So I put $20 on, I double my money, that was it. And these guys come in from the golf course, and they just start throwing money on the table. And I'm like, what are you?'re putting a hundred dollars on the 19th like what are you doing man? Well they're cocky they're drunk like yeah I I think I gamble the way you do I give myself benchmarks so let's say theoretically I bring in 50

bucks and I'll go to the little Electronic roulette or whatever if I win if I win money So like I go in I'm alright losing $50. That's it No more. I have $50 is my limit if I win money I now basically pocket my 50 and I can just gamble with that of our I just playing with holes And now I'm just betting the five dollars. Yeah. Yeah, I'm just betting the five and I went On that it's like okay, but let's say I win and I'm up. I win fifty dollars Wherever I'll keep 25 like all right now. I can't gamble 75 I only got 25 to go it like makes me make sure I either I'm walking out with some money or

I just played a game for a while and I broke even yeah, that's that's really what it is It's like also longevity wise like I I doubled my money, and I was like alright That is the benchmark of me also Winning so because I only put in $20 and now I have $40 Yeah, I shouldn't put in any more. I'm not going to and I'm gonna go Get ready for the show and I and the show is fine crowd was crowd was packed they packed them in there and they were all excited of meeting people in the elevator and they're like you're the comedian I was like yes I'm the comedian and they're shaking my hand and then they're taking pictures with me after the show and I'm like who are you gonna show this to?

This guy talked at us for a while yeah, they're very polite They didn't laugh, but they were very polite and everyone loved the show apparently, but that was like man I wish you would have said that when I was on stage That sucks who headlined that one this guy made leel I can and we just did 30 each What's almost like you kept it an hour? He was like that's all they need So yeah, I think that's all they wanted to yes. Yes. He was like all right. Let's just both do the same amount of time let's both get the heck out here and and then on on Friday and Saturday night, just a bunch of, the shows were good,

but everything outside of the shows was a nightmare to work around. You do some agency stuff, and then the talent having marital issues. I'm gonna say that. Yeah, I'll talk with you after, outside of it. Yeah, let's do that off camera. Yeah, but it was wild. It was insane.

That sounds fun. It sounds juicy and I like it. I like it. But yeah. There's also something that we talked about, and this is a terrible whatever, but off camera after last week that I do want to bring up again off camera this week because it's a, it's a terrible thing. It's a terrible thing.

It's a terrible thing. It's a terrible thing. It's a terrible thing. It's a terrible thing. It's a terrible thing. It's a terrible thing. It's a terrible thing. It is a terrible whatever but off-camera after last week that I do want to bring up again off-camera this week because it's a it's gonna be great like I think it's it's it's sad but also okay funny as shit wait by the way I guess tell the viewers how did the hospital visit go oh Oh, good. I am not pregnant. It's very weird because we talk about it's like a double-edged sword where if they found something they knew the cause of where these abscesses came from and then I have to have surgery, but they didn't find anything. And so they determined, they're like, hey, we don't see anything. There's no reason for you to keep coming back here unless you have issues. It's been over a month since you had the last procedure and the drain pulled till now.

Like there's no reason to have another checkup or have anything invasive happen to you unless something else comes up. But we don't know where it came from. So there is still a little mystery, but yeah, no I had an ultrasound on me. They're doing it for like 20 minutes I was like, huh? I don't know how much you need to see but okay But yeah, I left and they said Yeah, see you later. Don't come back. I was like cool. That's great. Oh It was it's thank you. I'm like, cool. That's great. So, congratulations. Yeah, it was, it's, thank you.

I'm in the clear, I guess, as of now. But it's kind of crazy to think that this started at the, basically the beginning of February and it's taken until now for me to be like, yeah, you're good. Yeah. That's good. But who knows?

Hold on, fingers crossed, we're done. This was a freak accident and Michael stays healthy. That's good. Who knows? Hold on. Fingers crossed we're done. This was a freak accident and Michael stays healthy and yeah, that's it. All right. Well, do you want to play the game? Yeah, we'll play the game. Okay. I'm going to flip my camera and then we'll play the game.

Flip your camera. Flip your camera. Play the game. And I don't have Jack behind us today, but I did speak with Jack this weekend, and very nice, he asked how things were going here. Jack, if you're watching this far or at all, we miss you buddy. Tell G, thank you for the sourdough discard cheese-it recipe. Rachel will definitely be trying that soon.

Because we have so much sourdough and sourdough starter on our counter right now and not a big enough jar that when she feeds it and it grows, the jar, there's no more room for it to grow, so it is now leaking out the sides every morning. So I have to have a bowl underneath it and it hisses at me throughout the day. So you have a bunch of bread? No, I have a monster. You have like a yeast infection over there.

We do, it's one thing to have abscess, yeast infection, UTI, this is like the center for it, this is the CDC over here. Yeah, you just packed, you're all over. Man, it's wild. I've been watching a guy who goes to one-star reviews, like restaurants, he goes to one-star review restaurants and eats and sees if they're like actually supposed to be one-star. Or if like, you know, you just got a bad. Are you a review person like do you ever review anything?

No, I don't review anything, but I think in my old age now. I'm starting to look at reviews a little more and I Don't know if I like that. I'm a big fan of Go make your own opinion. Now, I think some reviews, like if you see somewhere has like a three and a half out of five, I think that's the kind of place you go. Go make your own opinion, don't read anything else. But I think if you see a below three, maybe see what some of these people are saying

like cockroaches in my food, so maybe actually stay away from the restaurant because it's dirty. But I'm a big fan of go make your own opinion because food, like comedy, is very subjective. Granted, you can ruin it, but everyone's got different tastes and I'm not making a Yelp account.

Yeah, that's the thing. I don't put reviews, I'll read some of them every once in a while, but the people that do, I know someone who Yelps everything that they do they do it's like what are you doing like just enjoy it and then also some places it's a bad night not everyone's gonna have a good night I went to a five-star restaurant got food poisoning you know that happens you know it's not like it's gonna happen every person I think reviews are good but even like like in the winter when I get into playing like video games a little bit and I'm like, alright

I want a new game. I'll start I started looking at reviews I'm like stop that you never did that as a kid and you ended up having a bunch of games You liked playing it was way more fun because you didn't ruin anything for yourself Like you got to figure it out on your own But now we're at a point where everyone does these reviews and whatnot that there is no like surprise. There is no wow factor anymore. It's like you know what you're getting right away. And I kind of like the mystery. Do you think you look at reviews that products you want to spend your money on though? Yes, that I think is a little different. Because it's an X an experience Review is much different than a product review

I think because a product review like if I'm gonna go buy a drone off team again I probably should have looked at the reviews like hey, this is a piece of shit. I Don't know if they have reviews that say that but probably like nothing There's millions of pop reviews probably on T.bo. Well today I have a bunch of reviews I'm gonna and you're gonna tell me what they're for Okay, I like this or or where they're from couple some of them I have to I have to put what they are and you'll or you'll obviously get exactly what they are So then I was like, where are they from?

Here's the first one by I was like where are they from? Here's the first one by Jimothy Barker and this and He only has two reviews, but this one has a five-star review and all it says is I know about the affair Andrew I've always known and here's something you don't know you got my wife pregnant The boy is eight now and since the boy was born. I've been giving him nothing but love and in return He looks at me and smiles as I love you Dad, there's nothing quite quite like being a father

all these moments watch them grow up you are There to celebrate their victories and help them back up anytime. If I love is pure love is unconditional You always know that being a father is great. And this is my revenge to you Andrew know that being a father is great and this is my revenge to you Andrew what should have been the best day of your life is mine now and all the love I receive could have been yours I've stolen your joy the pizza was really good five stars what pizza would that have been to? I was going to say this has to be like a delivery, like Andrew delivered to this guy. Is it a well known pizza establishment?

I'm going to go Domino's. Oh, well, I'm going to tell you right now, you can't out pizza the hut, you know? Yeah. That is a pizza hut. You can't out pizza the hut you know yeah, that is a pizza You can't out pizza the hut and you can't out father that guy Here's another one in this one. I love because you can really tell that this guy is Angrily texting it like writing this but in the best way and he goes I've never eaten fish in my life,

but recently I was swimming in the ocean and I got bitten by a fish. I'm not sure what kind, but it hurt. So I decided to get my revenge by eating all of its friends and harnessing the power of the aquatic supremacy. I wasn't sure what type of fish was the best, but the waiter Stephanie actually did a really good job explaining various species available to consume

She went into detail describing textures aroma flavor and everything else that comes with it She helped me narrow down my decision and I loved every bite I ate occasion style catfish with zucchini and diamond fries. Thank you so much Stephanie. You really know your fish and fuck you fish What town was that from? What town? Yes from what town yes what what Oceanside town would that be from this is like Louisiana Oh Myrtle Beach cage I went with the Cajun you know you're gonna go establishment I was like the dynamite fries should be given it away I was gonna say like all you can eat like

shrimp buffet from Long John Silver's or something, but Myrtle Beach, all right. Yeah, isn't that funny though? You got bit by fish. Wait, that was, hold on, was that just a review for Myrtle Beach? No, it's five stars for the restaurant.

Oh, for the restaurant? Do you know what the restaurant was? No, it doesn't say. This one was cut off, it was a picture. They're all pictures. I don't write them down That's awesome, I would love if that was just a review on like Yelp destinations for Myrtle Beach That'd be very funny this one's from Lily Row I have been a professional blank for 15 years and I'm very sensitive to all energies focused around such. The instructors were great, the facility was clean, but I

walked into the studio and I was assaulted with a dark energy radiating from Monica at the front desk. What is this person's job? They've been a professional what for 15 years? whack job You're close it's I want to say I am blanket on the word, but it's like palm reader You're so close. You're dancing around it You're so close you're dancing around it

Yeah, I'd like it's something it's in that realm My buddy dated a girl once who told him that she could feel his energy And they weren't in the same room together, and he made him go to like someplace where he had to like Crisscross all applesauce. Oh I feel like our spirits are connected. I was like dude you gotta run Is it like I mean yoga instructor she's like I'm going backwards she's a professional medium Medium that is the word. I was looking for whatever the spirit talker is Docs the spirits yes, so She can talk to dead people too.

Damn. Okay, this is a fun one. This one's one star as well. Awful place if you don't enjoy swarms of blank. Also fruit on show is for blank not to be eaten. What is this a review from? An awful place unless you like swarms of something and the fruit on display is just for show.

Is for the blank only not to be eaten. The fruit on display? Is this like a did someone visit like the fruit of the loom factory yeah I'm gonna go with warehouse fruit of the loom this is a Stratford butterfly farm and someone put a review said this is an awful place has so much swarms of butterflies oh my god

hey man you know what they aren't not every light bulbs bright if you flicker some are pretty dim that one's off this one's fun this is a this is technically a Google review that just had one star no comments, but the response to the owner The owner responded so one star from a guy named Phil Phil Fox and then the owner responded to Phil Okay, okay, so this is the owner's response. Yes. Hi Phil You are not a customer here your wife is one of our competitors close friends Why review us one star when you have never been a customer of us?

Also, Phil, you passed away two years ago. What is that competing business? Well, the only thing I can think of when I hear Phil is Phil from ZipRecruiter, because of all the job vacations I've done what is the competing business your wife is a Competitors friend and he's dead. Mm-hmm He asked it like is this like a morgue oh no

These are the second competing nail salon These are the technically competing nail salon They're using accounts to just trash As like that I used like her dead husband's That's a wife who is not upset that her husband's dead Yeah, and she's like, oh I still I still could put reviews for him. I don't think I know anyone in my life really that could, if I passed away, would that be like, you know what? Let's troll people through Michael's old Instagram account. Let's log into Fat Chance and let's just berate every kid we can find.

Yeah. Which wouldn't be a bad idea Just just getting mad at them like we are funny This is a five-star review I came in with one eyebrow left with three I Don't know what they she did, but I look constantly surprised now. 10 out of 10 would panic again. This is a review from an eyebrow specialist. In what state? Came in with one, left with three.

I was thinking, I was like, all right, we got hair plugs. And then I was like, I'm stuck in this position. I was like, that could have been Botox, but it's an eyebrow specialist in the state I mean, this is a one in fifty shot. Yeah, I'm gonna get Mmm, and there was a down that came in with one Yeah I'm gonna go Nebraska ooh

Alabama Alabama I was gonna say Arkansas is my other one well you can say Alabama closer, but then you do love your mom and pa so All right this next one is a two-star review My husband and I literally found a dead body laying in the parking lot of this place last week he was been laying there in the parking lot for so long that rigor mortis has set in and no one came out to check on him until I called the police also great taco truck in the parking lot. What is that establishment? Okay, dead person taco truck.

Let's narrow down the clues here. So taco truck in the parking lot means it's not a food establishment. You don't want anyone really competing. Usually when you have taco trucks, it's kind of like a brewery that doesn't serve food. But dead guy brewery vibes aren't high. They're pretty hippie-dippy.

They care about the world unless they think he was gonna decompose. Decompose, probably in the parking lot, not great. Not good for the plants because they're not near the plants. I'm stalling because I can't think of a type of establishment. But I'm stalling because I can't think of a type of establishment, but I'm going to say It is a total wine and more liquor store. It is a laundry mat

You know what that makes sense. I love to give my two stars If on a dead body still two stars it could have been worse like I'm sure the Are there attendance at laundromats? I don't know I've never been to one. Yeah, maybe I think so No, I don't some of them I've been to that they have attendance for some don't have you had to use a laundry mat before? Oh, yeah. Yeah for sure really. Yeah When I always either had it? This I in unit or in basement Yeah, I've had so I've had some that didn't have

That or the or there it's broken in the basement or whatever and you had to go laundry mat also I worked at a place Or whatever and you had to go to laundry mat also. I worked at a place About an hour away, and you get you get like an hour lunch So I would bring my laundry, and I would just go smart go to the laundry mat and do my laundry for an hour and then Like because the dryers were about 30 minutes each and when I got done. I would just go back to work So that's smart. Yeah two birds with one stone. I like that, I just need to go back to work. That's smart, yeah. Two birds with one stone, I like that. I appreciate the efficiency.

Yeah, it was fun. This last one is one star. Just went with some friends. My young mid-20s friend was being fed shots by the owner and he kept trying to kiss her and offer a job. A bartender leaned over the bar and touched her face asking me to make him a sandwich on National Women's Day. Completely uncomfortable and disrespected as a young woman in this establishment would never recommend to anyone. Now the owner's response to that I know this

hey you fat bitch with no friends that girl was hot AF for this giant huge snake go home and jerk it you dork this is the bar owner who used to sponsor your wiffle ball team in west alice oh yeah you know what it's

i get what actually i don't want to say i get it wait a second hold on which side are you going is this where we get canceled? All the things I have said on here, no, this isn't it. What I'm trying to get at is there are, and you've seen it,

take the Wendy's Instagram account. Like, there are very few people who can do it the right way, where you can be mean on social media and people like it For example when Katy Perry and her cohort of women went up to space and came back down and someone tweeted Katy Perry is officially an astronaut and is back on ground Wendy's tweets back. Can we send her back? Yeah Was the owner trying to go for that maybe did he cross 17 lines yes so I get the tactic didn't work also don't touch

women in your bar jackass yeah but's very funny because I like getting reviewed for anything just let it go like the difference of Balwendy being you know being mean funny is cuz yeah they're not doing it to people that are talking about Wendy's like Katy Perry wasn't talking about Wendy's that was this thing about Katy Perry and they're being funny roasting Katy Perry Not someone roasting them and them firing back and being mean, you know Yeah, no It's it's it's very funny because there's plenty of other things that came out after that

That were like, you know Very bad things and this guy's not a good person. Yeah, that place is closed down. Shut down, yes, that place is closed down, yes. For many different reasons too. That place sponsored you guys for a while, right? Let's not say that. They initially put money up.

Funded your T-shirts for t-shirts and Yeah, so Which is? We did not know this at the time that does what's going on. So you look public that We didn't know we're just a little wiffle ball team. We don't know but yeah Congratulations on your another win. Thank you. I didn't I could have sworn this other season just ended that went real yeah. Yeah congratulations on your another win. Thank you. I didn't I could have sworn this other season just ended that went real fast. Yeah. Maybe one day I get called back up from AAA. We didn't play well in the beginning.

This was probably our worst season for runs or just just the win loss but when it mattered in the playoffs we just dominated so no yeah, I mean you didn't have your vibe guy You didn't have your left field single guy You didn't You know yeah, we did we were missing you that's worth the missing guy that in his first season Felt like he almost got into a fight with someone else in a Barley wiffle ball game and was on the news striking out so yes yeah I was I mean I you guys were used to a sense a certain level of publicity and

excitement and where that went away you you didn't know how to handle being in the shadow again and you know what you persever. You're back in the limelight. Congratulations to you guys. And I wish you the best. I also wish you guys would all send me money to come to the golf outing. So Judd, plug it away and then we'll close it out. The golf outing is August 23rd at Deer Tract. Please come and participate in the golf voting. It's going to be one of the greatest golf outings

you've ever seen in your entire life. It's our third annual. Every year gets better. And please sign up today at the link below or the link above. I don't know where the link will be, but it's going to be somewhere. Go sign up. We're out. See you guys later three two one