Fat Chance Podcast - Pull Tabs, Slushies, & NFL Free Agency Ep. 110

Episode Date: March 14, 2024

Back at our Home Away from Home. Jack has a medical emergency! Michael has a theory about the sensory deprived. Judd expresses his love for a frozen sweet treat. SPONSORED BY: @DrinkWisconsinbly **Stop by the corner bar of the Deer District for not only the fastest, but the best Old Fashioned in Milwaukee!** PATREON!!!! patreon.com/fatchancestudios CHECK OUT THE NEW FAT CHANCE SHORTS CHANNEL!!! @FatChanceShorts https://youtube.com/@FatChanceShorts?si=wCjiBc0ddHEYk_bs Get your Chewzie TODAY! @TheChewzie https://www.thechewzie.com Check Out The Crew: Michael Cuske - @michaelcuske on everything Judd Reminger - @juddremingerscomedy7298 @juddreminger on all other socials Jack Cerasoli - @jackthedragon1 or @jack_c_comedy

I pooped blood today. Let's get that out of the way. Daylight saving time? Fuck me up. Is that what really threw you off? You think that's the problem? Do you want to wear any of the fat chance stuff? Actually, no.

It's a sweatshirt. And it might not fit you. You got a medium. No. You got a medium. Husky gave me a medium. No, I no i didn't i said what do you want i said large no we didn't i said it's an oversized are you sure you want a larger medium i'm gonna go dude i'm gonna go to it is that in the group chat are we recording now yeah we're recording we can we can hash this out on air how come i'm the only one upside down

there you can see yourself right here's your secret beers i already opened it so secret How come I'm the only one upside down? All right, here's our secret beers. I already opened it. So secret beers is Dive Beer, Milwaukee Lager from Lakefront Brewery. Dive Beer is so good. Sarah, if you could be on the lookout for Diego, I think he's going to be here probably around 6.30. Thanks, God. Deliver a short Mexican

man. God delivers packages and all. It could be a secret beer. It could be a small man. Like Santa Claus. That's a nice beer. You never had this? Oh, yeah. It's real good. We had these after the

tasting. You were here for the tasting. But I had to leave. Which I don't think we can talk about yet, can we? No. We didn't taste anything. Yeah. We tasted some beverages that are coming soon.

Can we say that? Yeah. God says we can say we tasted beverages coming soon. We don't know what they are. But what we do know is that there is a beverage that actually just came. And it came all over the state of Wisconsin. And it is the Drink Wisconsinably Vodka. Right?

We're horny for this vodka. Is that what you said? Why would you say that? Why would you say that? Can we open this? No, don't open it. What are you eating? How else are you supposed to enjoy it?

We need it. We're the bar. They need it for this weekend. They need it for the rest of the week. You can't waste it on us. We have these secret beers. You can get it yourself and pop it. God, how many places can you find this right now? God.

There's a bunch of places.'s sunday god is i think go find it drink wisconsin yeah we'll give you a phone review when we're back in the basement when you get your vodka red bulls or vodka sodas or whatever you have just be like i'll drink wisconsin vodka yep and if they don't have it leave get out of there get out of there it's or vodka sodas or whatever you have and just be like, I'll drink Wisconsin Blue Vodka. Yep. And if they don't have it, leave. Get out of there. Get out of there.

It's not a place you want to live. Drive on down to your corner pub at the Deer District because they've got lots. But before you leave, try and get them to get it in the bar. Yeah. Because we want it everywhere.

We want it everywhere. Which, we're, I pooped blood today. Let's get that out of the way. Daylight saving time? Fuck me up. Is that what really threw you off?

You think that's the problem? You think that was it? They're like, oh, you pooped too early. He pushed too hard. It was crazy. It was like, right before I got, I was about to get in the car to get here. And I looked, I was like, wow. Wait, hold on.

How much blood? It wasn't like a wipe? I think it was aggressive wiping. Oh, so you noticed it on the toilet paper, not in the water. Because I think if you notice it in the water, that's when you go to the doctor. If it's on the toilet paper, 50-50. Yeah. I don't know.

Well, if it's red blood, too, because that means it's close to the front. It's not internal bleeding. As opposed to what other color? Black blood, because that's internal bleeding. Oh, okay. I thought that was diarrhea. Imagine if you're a blind person. You just never know.

It's the smell. I don't think it smells different. When you lose one sense, the rest of them are heightened. You can smell blood. I don't think you can smell blood in poop. You only smell poop in poop. You're telling me that blind people can sense blood. We could use them as tracker dogs. It depends on how blind they are.

Ray Charles. How long have they been blind? You could find a missing person through the woods. Honestly, I don't think we're utilizing it enough. I don't think so. I had that in my... I'm going to keep this one close to the chat.

I had that in my set once. So if you could lose a sense, what would you lose? I keep thinking someone's breaking in. It's the skateboarders. It's the hoodlums out here that dress like bikers

that are actually... They're on scooters. What do you mean? If I could lose a sense? If you could. It'd be great if you could lose one. Sense of style. You can't lose that.

You can't lose that. You're born with that. It's God's gift to you. No, if you had to lose one of your senses. What are all the senses? Smell. Touch. Touch.

Taste. Taste. Hearing. Hearings. Sight. Sight. Which one are you going to lose? Probably feeling. Touch.? Sight. Sight. Yeah. Which one are you gonna lose? Probably feeling?

Touch? Really? Yeah. I would miss touch. I'd miss touch a lot. I feel like... Your baby touches things. Yeah, but I mean, like, you'd still...

No. No, you can't. You just... You couldn't feel. Anyone touches you... Has your hand ever fallen asleep and you've gone like this? That was a bad choice. You have to cut that back.

That was a bad... Run that back. You have to put the opal over it again. He's going to burp. That was a poor choice of motion. You're definitely going to burp. Have you ever, like, you know, just done this? You can't feel it.

And you can't feel it? You can't feel your hand. No, that's your whole body's asleep always. But the poops wouldn't feel that. You wouldn't feel your will now that's your whole body's asleep always but the poops wouldn't feel that you wouldn't feel your willy though either okay maybe then smell i'll take it back but smell affects your taste it's true smell and taste go hand in hand yeah what did you lose i don't know i think it's probably honestly don't No. Well, I just want to be able to smell things better. But it's either hearing or eyesight, probably.

Really? No, I'm going smell. Because you'll still be able to taste. It's not as great. But you can't hear shit? Then your talking kind of goes. We know how that sounds. You wouldn't, but...

What? That's such a silly one. But no, I would... I got it. But seriously, I think smell is definitely the easy one for sure, but I feel like that's just a cop out. Everyone should say scent. Okay, let's move on.

I'm really paying attention. By the way, we have pull tabs. Now this is a Wisconsin delicacy. Yes, it is. I'm really scared. I know. By the way, we have pull tabs. Now, this is a Wisconsin delicacy. Yes, it is. I mean. It's a caviar. If you're ever visiting from a different country, a different state, or just a place that doesn't have pull tabs.

Or if you've been living under a rock. These are fun, basically lottery tickets that are at bars. Sometimes dollar a piece. Most times, maybe most time maybe two, whatever it is. Depending on what the payout is. But basically, it's like a scratch off tickets, but better. It is, because you don't have to get a quarter. You don't need a quarter. That's going to be a great sound to get.

You'll be fine. No, that's awesome. Right now they're making the- Brandy Old Fashioned Slush. DW Brandy Old Fashioned Slushies. Those are really good too. Have you had one? Wait. Yeah. you'll be fine no that's awesome right now they're making the brandy old fashioned brandy old fashioned slushies those are really good too have you had one

wait they got slushies when they first opened of course you've had one you just said they were really good they're phenomenal you didn't know

they had slushies I just found out they had a slushie they're phenomenal I've been in this bar multiple times plenty of times probably more than you guys

it's the first thing God gave me when we met I worked here I didn't know they had slushies are you a slushy guy i am i'm a huge slushy guy of course he is he's a sweet of course he's a slushy guy like margarita slush or on the rocks uh i would do with margarita slush that's the wrong answer but uh i mean i'll still do margarita on the rock i'm kind of like a crazy but if you had the option, slushy on rocks, you'd go slushy every time? You're an all-inclusive resort kind of guy. Oh, dude, I'd F up a all-inclusive resort.

A swim-up bar would be a daiquiri. Swim-up bar daiquiris. Oh, my God. There's something at the Wilderness in Wisconsin Dells where you have this swim-up bar and you get a margarita as big as your head. But it's $25, but you can put anything in oh my god is this real right now god thank you god thank you god oh my god is listening guys this is the i'm gonna have brain freeze in front of everybody best dacker ever had uh north carolina like i think it's i don't know like carolina beach it's phenomenal that's phenomenal that's so good

reminder how are you oh that's the stuff God and one of our archangels has just arrived hopefully is blessing us with his approval of the setup wasn't that good yeah that's so good

honestly I might get this all time every time you come here. It's not great. Feel free to adjust it as we go. We're cash today. We're business cash today. We got pull tabs, like I was saying. They're basically little scratch-off tickets, but for fun.

So, speaking of pull tabs, I think I'm going down the slippery slope of a gambling addiction. That is a slippery slope. Wait, did you realize that your ideas were terrible to make money? No, my ideas are great, but I don't. What are we doing? This is how you warm it up. Yeah, you got to prime it before you start the engine. But no, I see.

I'm starting to get into the scratch off business. We started. We talked. What would I do with $9? It was just scratch offs. I won $10 the other day and I was like, I think I need to go reinvest it Well, what does it mean one says $2 total right here and the other one says win baby win one dollar That's one dollar total. We got one dollar. We got two dollars total right here and the other one says win baby win that's one dollar that's one dollar total we got one dollar we got two dollars no no wait you got one dollar yeah you got one dollar i got two dollars and a win that's two dollars lemons is two dollars oh what did you

get absolutely nothing you're not lucky you guys are lucky here's the last one well we got to give him the money back he paid for it well what we win with this goes to eric because he has to open one oh yeah you open the next one okay this is terrible television this is adorable oh you know what why am i doing it i'm not the lucky one this isn't going good oh no guys i think we lost this one we lost this one but three dollars that's 60% return. Profit. In Kuski's mind, that is profit. Kuski's seeing dollar signs.

Kuski's driving out of here in a Phantom. Babe, I guarantee, we 300% all put our profit on full-time sales. Listen, I don't view this as profit. I view, okay, we could have lost worse, but tomorrow I'll forget we did this, so then it's just null and void. So then when I buy another one and I win $3, I'm up $3. You are the definition of girl math. You are.

You are. Like ATM where you take out money. This is gambler math. Which you have an addiction, you were saying. Yeah. No, I don't have an addiction, you were saying. Yeah. No, I don't have an addiction. Every time I see Rachel, I'll buy two scratch-offs.

We'll see if we win. And then if I, whatever money that, if we win one, I'll just go get another one. Yeah. Every time I see Rachel scratch-off. But this time I won $10. I was like,

that $30,000 on the scratch-off I paid $3 for seems obtainable. It does. Seems obtainable. I always think that too. Every time I walk in and I see people buying and I go, this is... You can't win if you don't play. I can win. I can does. I always think that too. Every time I walk in and I see people buying

and I go, this is... You can't win if you don't play? I can win. I can win. I can win. And then I see them spend $50 on tickets

and I go, how many times a week are they here? And I go, I can't do that. I have such an addictive personality where I think it would just turn into

dangerous, dangerous times. Have I ever told you the story of the guy in New Berlin who won the Powerball, all that millions and millions of dollars? It was sold at a Speedway gas station in Berlin. Oh, yeah.

It's my Speedway. That's why they get you. I was there the same day that it happened. I was there at that gas station the same day. I didn't buy a ticket, but, I mean, that's a cool story, right? That is cool. That's wild. Maybe we should start buying them.

The Powerball is always going on, but it seems like when it gets to a certain threshold, everyone starts talking about it. This is like, at what level of money are you like, oh, maybe I should buy a ticket? Well, honestly, any level of money. I'm going to wait until it hits like, oh, maybe I should buy a ticket? Well, honestly, any level of money. I'm going to wait until it hits half a bill, then I'll buy a ticket. Like a hundred million wouldn't change your life. Any level of money. I think, honestly, once a week, you put in, how much is it for a barbell ticket?

$2. $2 ticket. Once a week, you get $2. You spend $100 at the end of the year. Not too bad with the possible payout of being rich forever until relatives ask you for money and friends that you just decided to give it to. Oh, I ditched my family immediately. You lose all your teeth and you're gone.

You're in a swamp in Florida because you bought an RV because you thought it was a good investment and now you're getting chased by alligators on your boat. If I win the lottery, it's not a Midwest goodbye. It's an Irish goodbye. I'm out. You are not getting anything. I'll give a few people maybe like 20 bucks and be like hey thank you for all your help get yourself go get yourself a six pack first of all i always think those people that are

like if i won the lottery you wouldn't even know it yeah you would there would be signs big time dude you would see me in the coolest car ever. Okay, so what would be the first thing, not including taking care of obviously responsible things, you would do with the first irresponsible purchase you would do with a letterman? Oh, a jet, for sure. A jet. I'd buy a jet and pilots. We've talked about this, for sure. I don't remember what mine was.

I think it changes. Depends on my mood. The Jacksonville Jaguars. It's like the stupidest purchase ever. Buy a on my mood. The Jacksonville Jaguars. It's like the stupid dumpster fire. That'd be fun to buy a sports team. I'd buy the Brewers.

I don't think I'd have enough money to do it. A minor league team would be really fun. Make like another Savannah Bananas or whatever it's called. Yeah.

Out of the Brewers. Out of the Brewers. Yeah. Let's spice of the brewers. Out of the brewers, yeah. Let's spice up the MLB. Dude, have you made the brewers? Let's be honest. Games, they're a little too long. Like the Harlem Cope Trotters. Is this shot going to be on the mound and just throw just wild bitches?

So you would buy a sports team, you think? Yeah, or yeah, I'd buy a sports team. Jet sports team, I think. it's by the new york jets kill two stones with one bird angry bird style i think i'd buy it like you just take a lake two stones two stones with one bird angry bird style you threw the birds at them oh yeah now i get it that took me way long. That's a joke for clever people. Or for people that when they were first getting phones, Angry Birds was a big thing. That was not our thing at that point in time.

They made a movie of it. Yeah, those are for children. It skipped a generation. But, yeah, I'd probably buy a lake. And then I'd have my own lake to do lake activities. Like Beersbee. In in the water jet skis too big call your lake yeah what lake are you gonna buy you have 22 000 between here how much do you think i could get for like

lake winnebago it's a big lake like the the whole thing? Yeah. Maybe like 500,000. Way more than that. Which does a lake cost? I don't know. What does a lake cost? Maybe I'd buy... Can you even buy a lake? Shawano, I'd try to buy Shawano.

Actually, no. Because here's the thing. You start getting native territory, and that gets murdered. So we got to go man-made lake. Why don't you just build your own lake? I would. I probably would have to buy a subdivision, tear it all down, put my own lake.

We'll call it... Jack's Lake. Jack's Lake. Obviously. That's clever. You could have fed him anything there. He would have said yes to it. Jack's Lake's hit right now. If someone else has a better name

in the next 15 minutes, I will change it to that name. But Jack's Lake is what it now. If someone else has a better name in the next 15 minutes, I will change it to that name. But Jack's Lake is what it would be, and I would have lifeguards there all the time. I would be playing beers. I'd be on jet skis. I'd go tubing. I'd have a boat driver to tube me around.

I love tubing. Would you like to tube? I used to like tube, but I don't think I can tube anymore. Why? My face. It's fake. It's fake. I've had too much reconstructive surgery. Do don't can't tube anymore. Why? My face. It's fake. It's fake. I've had too much

reconstructive surgery. Do you not know that? Yeah. He has a fake face. Yeah. It's like if we punched him in the face, we would straight up kill him.

Like actually kill him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That nose? That ain't real. What the fuck? He is another like Kardashian basically. Yeah.

What did you look like before? Have you ever seen the Goonies monster? The same, which is fucked up. I said, hey, you guys. Wait, you actually had a fake face? I actually Kardashian, basically. What did you look like before? Have you ever seen the Goonies, Mike? The same, which is fucked up. I said, hey, you guys. Wait, you actually had a fake face? I actually did, yeah. What part of your face is fake?

Basically, everything you see in, like, a triangle. Did you get hit with a pitch? Baseball. Baseball was hit. Broke this into five pieces. This was into a CI2 fractures right here. When was this? First time was on my 21st birthday.

And then the worst one, the worst one the bad one was uh when i when i was like 24 25 whoa yeah so when you play baseball do you wear like the thing i'm supposed to i'm technically supposed to but i won't then you can go tubing the thing is they say no extreme sports Anything that I can hit my face hard on, there's like a certain percent chance that I can die. Implode. Maybe wear a face mask, man. Well, I mean, it was a freak. None of it was like hitting on me stupid.

You said 21st and when you were 24. Yeah. That happened twice. It was a freak accident. They were both different. Different accidents? Yeah. 21st birthday is probably a drinking one.

No, I was sober as a bird. Are birds sober? They probably are. I don't know how they would drink. Hummingbirds get pretty messed up on nectar, though. You guys want to play the game? Mm-hmm. All right.

So, do you guys know what a rebus is? Rebus? Yeah. I know what what a rebus is? Rebus? Yeah. I know what a weenus is. Rebus? Like, is that like a rebate, like with Menards? Okay. Regis Philbin?

Oh! All right. Can I show the camera? I'll show the camera. this is basically a uh a word graphic game that you have to guess what it is okay i got this one already like all right so we'll go with the first one the first one is this one oh oh it's easy yeah so we'll start is step down. Wait, did I speak out of turn? Well, yeah, you're supposed to guess, but that's basically the game. Okay.

So we'll go in order from left to right. Okay. The rest of them, I don't know. But step down was the easiest. Here we go. I got it. I got it. We'll go this one.

I don't know this one. Oh, I got it. Tusky? Scrambled eggs. Scrambled eggs is correct. Nice. Good job. All right.

I have this one. Buzz. Buzz. Jack. Happy hour. Happy hour is correct. What's this one? All right.

Here we go. Eiffel Tower. That is correct, Jack. Nice. You're damn good at this. Buzz. Are you in trouble? Are you in trouble is correct you guys are flying to you guys are gonna hate this one we're gonna be 25 minutes like

alright we just cut it this one I have no idea there's a couple of these I'm like I know you guys are honestly like to be pissed off when I tell you the answer. It's not Century, but it is... Do you know this one? Entry? I have a guess. Without the C, it's Century. The U shouldn't be an entry.

Open entry. You guys are close. He's the closest. What did you say? It's a late century. Oh, mid-century? No. First century.

Early century. You guys ready? Yeah. Long time no see. That one is frustrating. And this one's going to piss me off too because it's just three meats in the sky. It's steak in the sky? High stakes.

That is correct. That's a goal. I'm done with my dive beer already. That was enjoyable. Alright. We only got one more, right? One more hand. I lost the gun.

I'm ready to go. Thought but thought. But thought. Thought but thought. Ooh. Oh, second thought. Second thought. Ooh. Without a thought? Oh, second thought. Second thought?

No. What? First thought. Because he's right, but... Say it. Say it again. Second thought? Say it again.

But on second thought. But on second thought. There you go. You got to say the whole thing. Okay. Okay. Okay. I like that. Oh, you second thought. There you go. You got to say the whole thing. Okay. Okay. Okay. I like that.

Oh, we got more. Oh, good. We don't want to answer that. All right. ID can. Eye candy. That is correct. Good job.

Good job. I got the next one already. What's this one? What goes up must come down. Ooh. That's a good one. Overseas travel. That's correct.

That's a good one. How about let's. That's correct. That's a good one. How about it's waiting to put him up? Well, I want to look smart too. He goes in too fast. Not level. I don't know. Broken level. Unlevel.

Next level. broken level unlevel next level there's a slash in between the levels mid level mid level double levels slanted levels god god what does this one mean level

split level what's split level like a duplex God, what does this one mean? Level. Split level. What's split level? God knows all. Like a duplex. Oh. Okay. You're going to hate this one. Rest and relaxation?

R and R. Well, that was... R and R. R and R. R and R. R plus R. R plus R. Bob Lazar.

R, Métis, Captain Jackson, Pirates of the Caribbean. R plus R. Right-handed. Double R. R plus R is R. R. R. No idea.

I don't have a clue. Diego? Some are. All right. Some of are. Some are. Some are. That one's a stretch.

Because when you add the sum of something. I guess we didn't know if there's anything else. That's a good point. We needed that extra. We needed the equal sign. Super dead. Is this left for dead? For dead.

Left for dead. Super dead. Why'd you leave me hanging there like I was just off again? Trial. Oh, it's trial? Or trail. Mixed trial? What's it got?

Trial by error. Incorrect. Trial by error. Incorrect. Trial by error. That's close. That was a good example of it, though. Air trial. Trial. Ripped.

Trial by error. Let's hear. Mixed trial. Are you guys sure it's trial? Rail. T. Earlat. Rail.

T. Earlat. That's not a trial. Taylor. Reality. Do you got this one? Mixed reality? Nope.

Trail. Trail mix. That is correct. Trail Mix. Yeah, it wasn't Trial. Silly me. Smoke G. Smoke G. Last one.

Snoop Dogg. Smoke G. Smoke. Smoke over G. Go Smoke. Go Smokey. G Smoke. Go Smoke. Go Smokey. G Smoke. Go Smoke.

OG Smoke. Smoke over G. G under Smoke. Cush. No. OG Cush. I don't know what that is. Go Smoke.

Jack, you're the closest. Smoke? OG smoke? You're the closest out of all of us. Smoke break? I give up. Go up and smoke. There you go. Not bad.

That's your most clever one. No, it's not. I think it is. That made us feel clever, but you had a couple pretty clever ones before. He's done a lot of research before, but I think that one made us think the most. That's true. Which I don't know if I liked very much. I feel like there was some ones that I was like, ooh, they're going to hate it.

Yeah, you were right. What was the R&R we needed an equal sign? Otherwise, we would have got that. Trail mix is a good one. Go up and smoke. Meatball. I thought that was wild. Meatball.

I totally thought it was meatball. Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. Yeah. That would have been. That could have fit in that. Yeah, but there were were clouds but no balls what do you think of the packer situation i wanted to bring this up right away and we didn't talk about it yeah yeah that's fine i mean uh basically you every year it's a business decision on on whether or not they're going to stay or not.

Right. We made a business decision today that we offered. Before we signed Jacobs, we had to offer Jones to take a deal. Yeah. To restructure his contract. And with the market as it is with running backs, he probably said no. Or his agent was like, hey, we'll test the markets. We'll see what we can get and we'll come back to you.

And they tested the markets and they got back to him and it was not what we wanted to hear. Yeah. So when we could get Jacobs then Do you know what we signed him for? Yeah, I saw what he signed him for. Basically, like a one-year deal.

Basically, it's a we'll see you deal. They front-loaded it and then jumped it. But did you see what Saquon signed with for? Yeah, I saw. Who did he sign with? Eagles. Eagles, 36 over 3. Yeah.

So it's... We did get McKinney, which is cool. For the same price that we basically... I mean, we gave Bakhtiari up. We gave Jones up, who in my life has been my... Those people have been with the Packers forever. I'm fine getting rid of Bakhtiari. That sounds terrible.

He just hasn't been healthy in a while, which sucks. He has literally been dead weight. I'm fine getting rid of Jones, too, because Jones gave us so many great memories. I mean, I'm never going to be like... I'm not in it for the memories. I'd like to giving him a win with Jones too because Jones gave us so many great memories. I mean I'm never going to be like I'm not in it for the memories.

I'd like to win a fucking Super Bowl. Okay. Well I do miss Aaron Jones. I do think We're better with Aaron Jones on the

team. Yeah. For sure. I think he's just slippery. Yeah. He was the center of that.

I think everyone's like Jordan Love Jordan Love. Without Aaron Jones there is no Jordan Love last year. By any means.

No way. No way. I would love for him to stay on the team at the discount but Everyone still thinks without aaron jones there is no during love last year by any means there's no way no way i would love for him to stay on the team at the discount but everyone still thinks he could come back we're not going to sign him back he's not going to come back because just because how many running backs are needed there but we do have the number one safety in coverage now he's 25 years old and we signed for four years all right let's say we had our old defensive coordinator. Would you feel confident having the number one safety? Or do you feel like we're just throwing money into a fire pit? Do you like the new defensive coordinator? Sure.

Yes. Yes, in a way that I think it's always good that he plays with the scheme and stuff. I mean, we're going to be boring people right now. Yeah. I mean, I'm excited. I'm excited to see what Jordan Love does. I'm excited for the new running back

even though Aaron Jones is leaving. Anything we can do on defense is great. And I think Jordan Love is just going to ball out next year. I think he's going to ball out. I think we're going to win the Super Bowl next year.

I'll put it on us. We're going to beat. Who are we beating in the Super Bowl? Ready for this? It has to be this. I have a real sneaky pick. Okay, do it.

Houston Texans. That's what everyone wants. That would be a fun Super Bowl. But I do want the Lions going. I think they're tight. You want the Lions to go? That means we don't go. I know, but that's why I'm saying, like, okay, do we wait one more year and let the Lions win?

I never want them to go. I want the Lions to win. They need to win. You know how fun it is to be like you've never won? That's so – You know what? You guys are unsportsmanlike. You know what?

As much as I want the Packers to win, you know how cool it was to see everyone crying at their first playoff win and how long? That was so fun. I've never cried at any sports game. You know why it was cool? Because you felt bad for them. Yeah, now I'm excited for them. But here's the thing. Because you know they're not going back.

I genuinely don't think they're going to be back ever again. I think this was the lightning in a bottle. And so that's why I'm like, I want the Lions to be there, but the Packers are going to take it. Packers are going to the Super Bowl. How about they just make the NFC Championship against us? And then we smoke them. Yeah.

Have you ever been to a club and you're on the roof? And you're like, oh, this is so sick that I'm in here. And you see all those people down there who aren't in the same thing. You're like, ha, ha, ha. That's so much fun. It's so much fun looking at those people down there. You're not a nice guy. You're not nice.

They're like, oh, I'm up here. You're down there. You got none of that. You will never get this. You will never get this. You will never get that. I'm glad I'm inside, but I don't know. I'm not spitting on him in line like Joe is.

No, you're not spitting on him. You're just looking at him like, ha, ha, ha, ha. Peasants. Yeah, that's the Detroit Lions. I understand what you're saying. I'm like that with the Bears. I'm happy to rip on the Bears. The Bears have gotten there.

Yeah, but the Bears are terrible. And I'm happy off the bears. The bears have gotten there. Yeah, but the bears are terrible. And I'm happy hating the bears. I love having the Vikings and the Lions not winning. That's so fun to me. It's so fun. You guys have any don't you nos? I do have some don't you nos. I had one.

I got a few. And we'll end it with that. And we'll set up for the next show. I have to go super far. I have a whole slew of them. I'll start you off. Don't you know, this is a fun fact, guys. Fun fact.

By the way, all from the same website I got the basement fact from. So we know these are real. We don't know if that's real. We did. I fact-checked it, and these are real. But you know, Japan is facing a ninja shortage.

There is high demand for ninja shows, but it's a dying tradition. Companies have trouble finding properly trained ninjas. You know why? It's a dying tradition. No, they can't find them

because they're good ninjas. Ninjas aren't supposed to be found. You idiot no they can't find them because they're good ninjas ninjas aren't supposed to be found you idiot you can't hire ninjas for birthday parties you hire them to kill presidents to topple empires how long how long do you think it would take to become a ninja i don't know and what's a properly trained ninja do you guys remember that song that that white lady was saying i want to be ninja remember that what we have to not we have to literally cut out what i'm going to sing no i cannot sing it but can we just leave it here and then i sing it to you guys

in the basement i'm gonna ask you yeah let's see uh i got one i won't sing it i won't say it but i'll pull it up uh the longest human pregnancy was over a year long oh yeah bailey hunter was pregnant for 375 days a normal pregnancy is 280 wow her poor husband. Just kidding. Bring me all the ice cream you're going to buy. That would suck. Did they say why? I didn't write that down. I'm going to have to fact check that one. Oh, I brought the name. I thought that was good enough.

I could have made up a name. That was definitely good enough. Jack, you got one? Arizona forbids camel hunting you know that because camels apparently get hunted would you have you ever had camel meat it's a misdemeanor did you say only on hump day that's stupid all right one less for you here's another one just for animals sloths can hold their breath longer than dolphins. How long can dolphins hold their breath?

I don't know. Oh, here you go. Every 10 minutes. What? Dolphins have to come every 10 minutes? Yeah. That seems annoying. What do you think that blowhole's for? Yeah, but don't you think they should be better at it by now? Yeah, but 10 minutes? There's got to be one dolphin training

just sitting at the bottom and be like, I can do it for 15. Imagine for every 10 minutes you have you set a timer. There's got to be one dolphin training just like sitting at the bottom. Be like, I can do it for 15. Imagine for every 10 minutes you have to set a timer and go do something. I don't think they're setting timers. They don't have like a little Apple Watch on their fin. Same thing. Same thing, Jack. Very, very relatable stuff.

Once a day. You just hear alarms go off in the middle of class and you're like, well, did you go out to take your pill. Kowski, you going? Yeah, I can. I mean, we're not doing any animal ones. Erno Rubik, the inventor of the Rubik's Cube. It took him one month to complete his own invention.

Right now, as of June 2018, do you know what the record to solve a Rubik's Cube is? Like four seconds. It's like 3.87 or something. 4.22 seconds to solve a Rubik's Cube is? Like four seconds. It's like 3.87 or something. 4.22 seconds to solve a Rubik's Cube. That's insane. I'm pretty sure a kid just broke that. I've also never solved a Rubik's Cube. I don't think I've ever tried. I've always gotten one side

and then I put it on my shelf with the one side I saw facing out into the room. I think I'd rather take the stickers off. You can see the corners of the stickers peeling. No. I'd add more adhesive. Oh, you guys will love this one.

Don't you know that pumpkin pie increases blood flow to your penile by 40% studies have shown? I think we just had it there. Don't you know? I'm going to show you guys this ninja video.