Fat Chance Podcast - SHE GAVE ME E. COLI Ep. 105

Episode Date: February 8, 2024

Jack conveys his deep passion for toothpaste. Judd has a hard on for the Midwest. Michael has finally had enough of the short joke. Special guest Sarah Zweifel of Drink Wisconsinbly shares her "special" cocktail! SPONSORED BY: @DrinkWisconsinbly **Stop by the corner bar of the Deer District for not only the fastest, but the best Old Fashioned in Milwaukee!** PATREON!!!! patreon.com/fatchancestudios CHECK OUT THE NEW FAT CHANCE SHORTS CHANNEL!!! @FatChanceShorts https://youtube.com/@FatChanceShorts?si=wCjiBc0ddHEYk_bs Get your Chewzie TODAY! @TheChewzie https://www.thechewzie.com Check Out The Crew: Michael Cuske - @michaelcuske on everything Judd Reminger - @juddremingerscomedy7298 @juddreminger on all other socials Jack Cerasoli - @jackthedragon1 or @jack_c_comedy

Lake Minneapolis. Incorrect. Lake Minnetonka? That is correct. That's a stupid name. I did 4th of July there once and I got E. coli poisoning. Right from the whip. Yeah.

From the top. From the top. Yeah, I think they're recording. If not, one of us is cut out. And we'll just have voices. That's just how we weed people out of this show. Yeah, it's great. You can weed me out.

It'll be me first. If we weed Kuski out of this show. That'd be wild. I did like the promotion, that video. It's just Kuski shaking his head most of the time. Yeah. Just like. You did a great job editing that.

Thank you. The science one was my favorite. Oh, science. Science and cranberries were my favorite part of that. My favorite clip we got is the episode afterwards, though. Last week is you explaining why you were crying in Avengers Endgame. And I'm like, no, no, no. Like, I'm almost backing you up,

and Judd's trying to basically kill himself with the microphone. It makes sense. I didn't even look at you once. I had no idea. I know. You were so into it that I didn't want to, like, make sudden movements. I tried to slowly do it. Ooh, I need to get my material out.

I prepped. You prepped for it? I've been prepping a lot more. Do you want to start with those? I don't know. Should we start with those? That's the thing. I think we can.

I think we should. Who wants to start? Who thinks they got the best one? I've got one based off the last one we did. All right. Then I think you should start us off. You know, similar to the Coca-Cola thing. You've got to say, don't you know?

Yes. Okay. Thank you. start us off you know similar to the the coca-cola thing yes okay thank you it's actually a good that's actually a good reminder because i wasn't going to say that i'm going to act mad at you i'm going to act mad at you for it so just like you know the coca-cola flavors i said it's all in japan yeah do you know that there are more than 200 different flavors of Kit Kat in Japan. Is one of them Coca-Cola? No. Wasabi? I can't read the rest of these because they're all in Japanese. You went with wasabi and they go, not going to name anyone else? Well, I can tell that one's wasabi because it says wasabi in English,

but the rest of them don't say anything. One looks like chocolate bread. The other one is strawberries. This is not a don't you know, but... Are you going off of pictures? Yeah. Do you know that most wasabis is some sort of horseradish paste? They're not actual real wasabi. Yeah, like

the stuff you get in grocery stores, which may be a hot take. I almost prefer grocery store sushi over some sushi restaurants. I like it cold. I don't like when it comes out room temperature. Really? Oh, I do when it's room temperature. I like it cold. I don't like when it comes out room temperature. Really? Oh, I do when it's room temperature. I like it cold. I really do.

Oh, that's hot. I like some tempura in there, too. Fair enough. I like it room temperature, so Kuski's a weird one. You know. Yeah. That is strange, but I do. I would fuck up some sushi. How many sushi rolls can you take down? If it was all I can eat, I could probably do five or six. No, but I do. I would fuck up some sushi. How many sushi rolls can you take down?

If it was all you can eat, I could probably do five or six. No, no, no. How many? Oh, rolls. Like full rolls. But how many little pieces? That's got to be like 30. It's like eight to ten in each thing.

No, it's like six. No, not when you're getting all you can eat. They're not giving you little parts. Let's make this big white boy some sushi. I always think I could eat a ton. When I get the grocery store ones, I'm like, oh, I could have. I up the giant one. Because when I get sushi from the grocery store, it's not to eat at home.

It's to eat in the car on the way home. I get a car snack. Just like I get way home it's i get a car snack just like i get a grocery donut i get a car i'm very food motivated person um so i like to give myself a little reward start the day no you just steal from the grocery you steal don't i steal one donut so they lose out on 59 cents they just charged me you know an extra 50 cents for an avocado so and to which also check out own. Get the organic, but ring it up, self-checkout. You're a thief. You're a thief. You're a thief. I would never do that.

Some call it stealing. Some call it intelligence. Potato, tomato. That was pretty dumb. That was pretty dumb. There was no intelligence in that. I don't know. I feel like just by the shame of leaving there knowing I stole.

I mean, if I rang in. I couldn't imagine having donut particles on my beard. How poor. Powdered sugar. And everyone looking at me. I think it's like powdered sugar. What, do you make love to the donut when you get it? Really?

I put my tongue through the middle part. If it's jelly filled, I eat the jelly first. Just suck it out. Are you a jelly donut guy? No, fuck jelly donuts. I'm a cake donut guy. What about custard? No, no, no, no.

I'm not a filled donut person. They're the last ones, like, when you go to, like, a workplace, the last ones that are left are always jelly donuts. I always like the Boston cream and the jelly donuts with sugar on top. It's because it's so aggressive. It's like, do you just want to have a little bite of bread with, honestly, half a cup of super sugary jelly? I'm going to be honest. You also look like the fat one in the group. The first donut you go for is the jelly-filled one.

Yeah, you have to ignore those. That's a fat cop move is what it is. I do like those. What are they called? They're basically cinnamon rolls. Cinnamon rolls? No, they're not. They have a different one.

It's called a different thing. I forget what it's called. Do you know what it's called? He's asking the audience now. Bavarian? Bavarian. Bavarian, I think. Bavarian?

Bavarian donuts. I believe that's what it's called. I'm going to check. Yeah, no. I have never heard of a Bavarian. I think you're going to constantly get referenced in this now. No, it's Bavarian cream doughnut. Oh, Persian doughnuts.

Producer. Producer credits. That can't be right. Yeah. Oh, scammer. Persian doughnuts. A Persian roll or Pershing is a fried sweet roller doughnut with a spiral shape similar to a cinnamon roll. It's basically a cinnamon roll, but it's called a Persian.

But it's big. It's really big. That's a really good one. Give me an apple fritter, too. I'll fuck up an apple fritter. Ooh, apple fritters are good. Those are damn good. Just give me a normal glazed.

Krispy Kreme kind of guy? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you can't go wrong with a Krispy Kreme. If it's not broke, don't fix it. Back when I used to have to travel for, like, I'd go from Milwaukee to Madison for work, I would just bring 15 for lunch it's because there was a quick trip right next to the job site and uh i would spend sometimes i would spend it all on glazers and i would smash like 40 glazers in my car and i'd have to you

and quick trip have a special relationship i love quick trip i love quick trip so much it would open across my high school my senior year and that's when we finally could drive to go get lunch and it opened like as soon as we got there and they had deals at that place for the whole time so you could get like six burgers for three dollars and and i remember getting the huge soda that's like legitimately the size of a big gulp yeah i would walk into school with that and my teachers would be like that's so gross i. I'd be like, it's okay. It's diet. I would say it jokingly, but they would think I'd be actually an idiot. They'd be like, no, that's not how it works. I was like, it's diet.

It was so good. Quick Trip once had $1 chicken sandwiches. $1 chicken sandwiches. So I told my friends I'm going to get as many as they have. And then I got there, there was like only three left. So then I took a picture and I photoshopped all, like at least 30 chicken sandwiches on my desk and sent it to the group chat. I was like, guys, got them all.

To this day, they don't know that it was all photoshopped. That's so funny. They do now. That's too much work. I don't know if I could do that. Our tagline for when they were doing the deals, like a dollar chicken sandwich, we were just like, you can't make them that cheap. You're losing money if you don't get it. if i could do that our tagline for when they were doing the like deals like a dollar chicken sandwich we're just like you can't make them that cheap you're losing money if you

don't get it we'd always do that so we'd have just giant grocery bags of quick trip food but yeah i love it yeah but i also want to give you an update guess who won on a scratch off this past weekend how much money did you make i got my money back that's good that's good well technically i lost three dollars because i bought two and only one got me three dollars but in my head i gave one to rachel she lost money which was my money and then i made my money back so guess who's gonna go tomorrow to quick trip get more get another three dollar bingo scratch off and fingers crossed i get my money back again that's cool did you know that right here at the corner bar in the deerer District, the DW Pub, they have actually gambling machines here and also a very fun thing called pull tabs. You could do that too.

Do you think I could turn in my quick trip scratch off and get a pull tab? No, but you could go buy pull tabs right now and then you could just hand them slightly to your left. We could. We could do that. Maybe we do that at the end here. We'll do some pull tabs, see if we win. Yeah. That would be fun to end the episode with a pull tab.

I'm done. I'm done with a pull tab. I'll do a don't you know next. I kind of want to know how non-PG we can get with some of these because this one seems like a basement fact rather than a bar fact. Basement facts. I left that. The things you get, what is it? Fetishes packet up in the basement.

And Jen was going down there getting ready because her nieces were coming over. And she goes, Jack, what the fuck is this? We cannot have these up here. It's like someone just really likes turtles and getting thrown down the stairs. I'll push it a little bit. Maybe I'll have you read that one real quick. No, no, don't read it out loud, but you think we can? We've got to pass that one.

We cannot do that one. I don't want to read that out loud, so you definitely don't want to read that out loud. I'll go first. Okay, go ahead. That's wild. Don't you know? You need to check your sources on that one. I'll go first. Okay, go ahead. That's wild. Don't you know? Don't you know? You need to check your sources on that one. I know.

That sounds like something that I would just say to someone. I didn't want to. I saw it. I go, that's going in my list. That's going in my list. Weirdo. Do you know that lobsters taste with their feet? And they piss out their eyes.

We learned that. Wow. They piss out their eyes. We're really tying it in. Yeah. Because I based it off your lobster. I was like, oh, let's have more flexible lobster. Tasting with your feet would be pretty wild.

I'm not a feet guy. I'd be tasting shoes. You're not a feet guy. I mean, that's – I don't like my feet to taste, but I do like to taste people's feet. You know what I mean? No. I actually have – no, I don't.

I don't like to taste people's feet. I was just kidding, guys. We're all friends here, right? We can cut that bit out? Nope. Staying in. I got a few of them, but we're only doing two, correct? Yeah.

Two PlayStation 1 games, FIFA 2001 and Gran Turismo 2, have scratch and sniff discs. That's ridiculous. The FIFA 2001 smelled like a soccer field and Gran Turismo 2 smelled like car tires. It's basically just the disc after you've played it for a while. Imagine if you're scratching on the wrong side of the disc. Damn it.

Damn it. I think that one fits more of the vibe. That's a good one, yeah. The first one was outrageous. That's a basement fact for sure. Jackie, you have another one? I do. vibe that's a good one the first one was outrageous that's a basement fact for sure uh jackie you know i do i don't remember what it was but i have it all right i'll go with mine don't you know what i got is roller coasters were invented to distract americans from sin in the 19 in the 1880s uh this businessman named LaMarcus Thompson hated that Americans were spending so much time in saloons and brothels that he needed to have some straight, immoral places that people could have fun.

And so he invented Coney Island. In Coney Island, New York, he invented the first roller coaster for clean, family, fun, he said. That's wild. Yeah. I've been on a lot of roller coasters. Never been like that. for clean, family, fun, he said. That's wild. I've been on a lot of roller coasters. Never once was like, you know what, I'm going to give up. I'm going to give up the other stuff. The majority of the time you're like, I need a drink after this.

Now. See, I saw a fact when I was looking mine up today is that the first ever roller coaster was used to bring coal down a hill. Well, that's just a railroad car. But they classified it. Some guy got drunk and jumped in it, and that's what happened. So LaMarcus can thank that drunk coal miner for that one. No, that's the one thing that Disney World is missing. If you go to Disney World.

Coal mines? No. Drinks. You're not allowed to drink. Enough children died and suffered to build that amusement park. But if I could get a little bit buzzed. I thought you can do the drink around Disney. Oh, no, that's Epcot.

And there's not really that many rides there. Okay. I want to know your take on Disney adults because I just watched a video today. I think I know yours already. It's three Disney adults just like weirdly happily in a circle. And they're like, we don't call you football adults because you played football as a kid and now you watch it now. I think it's completely different. It's different.

It's so different. Because you're not wearing the helmet on the couch. Exactly. You're not wearing – I would wear it. Also, grown men played it while we were kids. I don't – No, I think –

Grown men made the magical world of Disney. Did grown men make it? Or they had the idea? To be fair, Packer fans are called cheeseheads. So they do have names for us. Yeah. So to be fair, that's wrong. We don't get offended by it.

Why? I guess Disney adults. I think that's the way you're saying it. You could say people that like Disney instead. No, they, Disney adults. I think that's the way you're saying it. Yeah. You could say people that like Disney instead. Yeah. No, they're Disney adults. We know who we're talking about. Yeah, they're the ones that, yeah, yeah.

Looney Tunes adults are different slightly. Space Jam is not a good movie. Best sports movie of all time. It's so bad. The best sports movie of all time. That's wild. Haven't seen number two and out of respect

for number one, I won't. That's fair. That's fair. All right, Jack, what do you got? Oh, don't you know that the blob

that you put on your toothpaste is called something? Yeah, toothpaste. Nope. It's called a nurdle. Don't you know? A nurdle?

A nurdle. Honey, can you put my nurdle on for me? That's pretty wild. I like that one. What kind of toothpaste do you use? I think I have Crest. Whatever's cheapest at Target. Really? Yeah.

Also, who? Cheapest at Target is the most white thing I've ever heard. It's like saying the most expensive thing at Walmart. Whatever's like $4.99. Whatever's like saying the most expensive thing at Walmart. Whatever's a really mid-priced thing. She was going to target a $17 toothpaste. You go to Walmart, it's $3. Alright.

Don't you know. I got this one off Instagram. We're going to have to fact check this one. According to a new report from the UNSW's Time Management Institute reveals that people who leave parties without saying goodbye save up to two days per year. That's pretty much. Which in Wisconsin, you'd save up to about a week.

Yeah. Goodbyes take so long. I'm a big fan of an Irish goodbye. Oh, absolutely. I hate the Irish goodbye. I hate it. As someone doing it or kind of being on the non-receiving receiving end of it? Either way.

If I'm leaving, I'm going to be like, hey, I'm heading out. And I usually do it nonchalantly. I accidentally Irish goodbye'd the other day. Me and my buddy Josh were at the same bar, and Josh orders an Uber. It says 10 minutes out. All right, we're cool. Then I'm going to leave and I order a Lyft. But I order

mine in the bathroom. I thought, well, if it's 10 minutes for them, then I'll order one when I go to the bathroom. All of a sudden it goes, it's two minutes out. I was like, oh crap. So I go straight from the bathroom to the Lyft. Josh is just waiting for his Uber.

I never came back. He didn't know what to say goodbye to. That's fair. I mean, was he expecting you to get in the Uber? No, but I think he was expecting me to say goodbye at least. Yeah. I think I like the Irish goodbye. If I'm going to say goodbye, I'll say it to, like, the host.

I'm not saying it to everyone. He steals donuts. Of course he likes not saying goodbye to his friends. Like if someone either organized it or it's like their birthday party. Yeah. Dude, I'm going to leave. I'm not just going to bounce like that. I ordered an Uber while I was on a pedal tavern for the next bar that we were going to.

I literally got in the Uber. They're like, sweet, we're here. And I just got off the pedal tavern and went right into the Uber. This pedaling thing kind of sucks. How much are you actually pedaling on those pedal taverns? Because I've done the boat one and let's be honest, I, again, I barely pedaled and we still moved. Such a selfish

guy. Doesn't say goodbye. Steals donuts. Doesn't pedal. If we have a pedal tavern or a pedal boat, we're not inviting customers. There's no way. My legs don't reach the pedals. He doesn't pedal. He doesn't say. My legs don't reach the pedals. He doesn't pedal. He doesn't say goodbye. He just jumps into the lake.

Yeah, he's already popped up on a stolen donut. All right, you guys want to play the game? Yeah, let's do this. So, since we're in the Midwest, can you name all 12 Midwest states? All right, one by one. It's going to be Jack versus Kuski. I want you guys to buzz in and tell me if you think you know a state in the Midwest. Buzz.

Go Wisconsin. Wisconsin. All right. So for Wisconsin, what lake is named after this town that has elephant bones at the bottom of it because the circus first started here? You can't call a friend. Can't call a friend. Nice try. What lake is named after elephant bones because the circus was there?

Nice try. What lake is named after elephant bones because the circus was there? What lake is named after this town that has elephant bones at the bottom of the lake because the circus started here? Elephant bone lake. Lake, Wisconsin. That is incorrect. Jack, it's your time to steal. Lake, Geneva. Very close.

So close. Do you want to say it? It's Delavan Lake. Delavan, Wisconsin. Oh, like elephant. Delavan. Delavan. No, it's just Delavan, Wisconsin.

It's short for dead elephants. Yeah. Yeah. So that's where the circus first was invented. Is Delavan? In Delavan, Wisconsin. And they have statues of elephants in their courtyard in Delavan. And in Delavan Lake, there's elephant bones at the bottom of it

because the elephants died and they didn't know how to get rid of them. So they just threw them in the lake. That's amazing. Put it in the water. Let's put it in the water let's put it in the water yeah let's get it over there all right jack can you hang on i was gonna use the cross out so we don't have why don't you show them your clipboard oh yeah clipboard oh you added some yeah you like that that looks sharp right that's real good. That looks real good. Drink responsibly. Think responsibly, everybody.

Here we go. Jack, another Midwest state. Illinois. Illinois. Okay. Wow, that surprised me. Where do you think I was going to go with that? Minnesota.

Nah, I'd go south. We're going west and east later. Bill Murray, hailing from Illinois, turned down two famous roles that would have made him over $500 million. Okay. Oh. I definitely don't know this. I don't know that at all. You could figure it out.

But they're very famous roles. Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. You would have been great in that. You would have. The Joker in Batman. With Jack Nicholson. That was good. No.

Yeah, of course not. Things are trying to make me feel good, dude. Cusky, your turn to steal. We're going to go through so many so close not even but what movies movies correct yeah movie parts um the two famous ones Was it... I don't know. I don't know. What's the Chevy Chase movie? National Lampoon's? Yeah.

All of those. Yeah. All of the National Lampoon's? Incorrect. It's Forrest Gump and Buzz Lightyear. Really? He turned down... Can't take Buzz from us, though.

No. Big Tim guys over here. We't take Buzz from us, though. No. Big Tim guys over here. We love Tim Allen. Big Tim guys. Forrest Gump would be wild. It would not be the same movie. Instead, he got Zombieland.

He got shot from three feet away. All right, Kuski. What is another Midwest state? Michigan. Michigan. All right. For Michigan. I'll go west. You go east. Michigan. Michigan. I'll go west. You go east. Okay. Alright. This is the glove state because it looks like a mitten.

In 1983, boxer Louis Resto was arrested and jailed after a boxing match against Billy Collins where he put what in his gloves? Oh, this is to me. Nails.

Incorrect. Your chance to steal. Sardines. Incorrect. Sand. Rocks. Cement. Oh, that's ridiculous.

Sardines would have been so much funnier. Sand. Rocks. Cement. Oh, that's ridiculous. Isn't that insane? Sardines would have been so much funnier. He put cement in his... Wait, did he win? Yeah. And then he got jailed. And then he got arrested for assault. He couldn't punch his way out of that one? Or your dude's spinning a circle.

He's punching up these jokes. You're welcome. All right, Jack, what is another state? Minnesota. Minnesota. Perhaps. All right. Minnesota is known for their lakes,

and also Minnesota Vikings are known for the love boat scandal that happened on one of the 10,000 lakes. Which of the lakes did they venture to bring 100 women out on two boats? There's so many lakes. Also, aren't there more lakes in Wisconsin than Minnesota? I believe so. I'm pretty sure there's 12,000 here and 10,000 there. So kudos to them for being in second place.

I think it's just more of a round number. They were like, this is more of a, yeah. You know what's wild is that there's 10,000 lakes and two of his questions so far have revolved around naming one specific fucking lake. In a state we don't live in.

We have 22,000 just from the numbers you guys have thrown out. 22,000 lakes to choose from and I don't have any. You would know this lake. No, you have to let Jack You have to wait.

You have to wait. Is it a great lake? No. Okay, those are the only ones we know. Is it a popular lake? Lake Minneapolis. Incorrect. Lake Minnetonka?

That is correct. That's a stupid name. I did 4th of July there once, and I got E. coli poisoning. Drive from the win? Yeah. All right. Kuski, name another one. What was the Love Boat Scandal? Yeah, the Love Boat Scandal.

What was it? Oh, you have to Google that. I can't say that on here. Was it an orgy? No, I'm not going to explain it. All right. So, Kuski, can you name another Midwest

state? Nebraska. Nebraska. Was this happening in 2005? Oh, the Minnesota Vikings. Dante Culpepper. That checks out. Randy Moss there? Alright, Nebraska. Ooh, let's make

this one a little corny. Let's talk about corn. What's the world's tallest stalk of corn grown in Nebraska? 12 feet, Bob. 12 feet. Incorrect. What was the question? I was reading about the love boat.

There's a lot to read. There's a lot to unpack there. I'll be saving that for... Let's get a little corny. Let's talk about corn. What is the world's tallest stalk of corn grown in Nebraska? What is it? What?

What? How tall? How tall did you say? It said 12 feet, but he's like, no. So that's not it. 17 and a half feet. Incorrect. 48 feet tall.

How does it even hold up its own weight? Is it tall or is it just drooping now? I mean, I didn't make this, so. You did make the game. He didn't make the corn. We're not checking his facts, are we? No. No one's.

Stop checking facts. I just want everyone to know how much effort I'm doing not to peek. That's true. That is so true. All right, Jack, can you name another Midwest state? Can you name the ones we've named already? Yeah, Illinois, Michigan, Minnesota, Wisconsin. North Dakota.

North Dakota. That is correct. I know what's wrong with you next. North Dakota. East Dakota. On February 17, 2007, with 8,962 of these, made that the Guinness Book of World Records for having the most what in one place? Bison. Incorrect.

Most what in what? Are you having a stroke? I wish. This many in one place. Love boats. Amish. That's a good answer, but no, it's snow angels. They made the most snow angels in one place.

Well, who were they made by? They got everyone in North Dakota. Everyone make a snow angel, please. So Amish was correct. There's probably some of them there. The Amish are friendly. Amish are very great. They're very friendly.

I built my roof at my home. Judd's brothers built his roof, everyone. All right. Kuski, name another Midwest state. Ohio. Ohio. Alright. North or south?

Weest. Alright. Ohio is known for their famous people. Travis Kelsey is one of them. What is Travis Kelsey's net worth versus girlfriends? $40. You can just say his net worth and hers.

Her net worth is a bajillion. No. Is she nearing a B now? She's got to be. She's got to be near B. I know you can't say. I'm going to say his She's got to be. She's got to be near a B. I know you can't say. I'm just going to – I'm going to say his net worth has to be 150, 150 million with sponsorships and whatnot.

He didn't get a new contract. He's been playing pretty cheap for the team. Hers, a lot more than that. So let's just 10x that one. Okay. Incorrect. 75 million for Travi. Okay.

And then 950 million for Mother. Incorrect. It's 40 million compared to $1.1 billion. I was pretty damn close there. Oh, she hit a B. She hit a B. She's in the B. Did she win last night in the Grammys?

Yeah, she won two. What did she win? Is she now like the most? Album of the year. So she has the most ever, right? Yeah. Album of the year and then. Congratulations, Taylor.

Thank you, Taylor. When you have your free time and you'd like to move up in the world, we'll have you down here at the corner bar of the Deer District, and we can talk shop because we like to write. You like to move up in the world, we'll have you down here at the corner bar of the Deer District, and we can talk shop because we like to write, you like to write, we like football, you learn to like football. All right. And we have a lot more money than Travis.

Collectively, we have $60. Well, if you stop shopping at Target. Get that Walmart toothpaste. All right, Jack, give me another Midwest state. South Dakota. South Dakota. Got the two Dakotas. To be honest, I don't know any other Midwest states. South Dakota native Brock Lesnar owns his what that he describes that you can beat yourself your or that you can beat yourself he owns his

own what that you can beat yourself probably a meat company or something that is correct rock lesnar makes masturbation jokes too yeah rock lesnar owns a meat company all right that is one to one that's this one ibiter. I got one. This is easy money. All right. Or you even ask at Iowa. Iowa. Iowa is a state. Iowa is a state.

It's also a city. It's also a four-letter word. All right. Elijah Wood. It's also three syllables. This is great. Iowa for four letters. That's impressive.

That's pretty wild, actually. This is great that you got this one. Elijah Wood is known for his small height. It's said because he stunted his growth in this Iowa town that also holds the world's largest gnome called Elwood. Look who's tall now!

You're out of the shot. What's the question? Elijah Wood is known for his small height. He's stunted by his growth. And this Iowa town also holds the world's largest gnome called Elwood. What is the town in Iowa? Elwood. Incorrect.

Damn, I thought it was Witcher. Keebler. Hobbit. Keebler, Iowa? It'd be Iowa Pretty cool place No, it's Cedar Rapids Stupid Was Nebraska already said?

Yep Nebraska's not been said? Yes, it was I said Nebraska like two turns ago You did not Yes, I did And it was the one about the corn stalk Oh, Nebraska's was in there.

And the magical beans. Beans, beans, beans. The more you eat. Indiana? Indiana is correct. Oh, my God. I forgot about that bump state. Yeah.

They don't do much. I bet they're going to have a big gnome somewhere. You ever driven through it? Everyone has. Terrible. This one's a stretch. All right. Indiana is the who's your daddy state.

In 2011, studies have shown that fathers have to pay how much in child support per year? Who owes how much in child support per year? Is that what it is? Fathers. On average a year? On average. Ooh. I don't even know what that looks like.

I don't know. $60,000. No. $100,000 a year. Per person? No. It's... Total?

Oh, total. Oh, let me change my answer. $4. $1, Bob. $750... No. $350 million. Incorrect.

Ooh. I can just... $8.6 million. Oh, wow. It's $2 billion. Incorrect. Ooh. I can just pick. $8.6 million. Oh, wow. It's $2 billion. In child support? I don't know how much they pay. Pray for those kids.

Holy crap. That's crazy. I don't know how much they pay, but that's like what it's like. You know why they're divorced? Because they've got to drive five hours to get to them. That's wild. No, that was ass backwards. Now they're driving five hours to get to them, yeah.

That's so much money. They have to pay child support because they can't get to him. Child support costs more than Taylor Swift if we wanted to buy Taylor Swift. Indiana could buy Taylor Swift. We have two more states. Guess who's going to get this wrong?

Jack. No, he just went. I went. We did North Dakota. We did South Dakota. We did South Dakota. We did Wisconsin. We did Illinois. We did Indiana. We did Iowa.

We did Minnesota. We did Michigan. We did Ohio. Florida's probably not in there. Nope. It will not be if I was a betting man. Where am I blanking? Do you know one?

Are you glad I'm the one struggling right now looking like an idiot? I like that you're struggling right now because now I can think about it a little bit more. What does it rhyme with? Do you want me to hint? Yeah. There's no place like home. Oh, Oklahoma? No.

Kansas. Thank you very much. You fucking idiot. Kansas is one. He's saying he know he didn't. Yeah, yeah. All right, Kansas is one. All right, we're not in Kansas anymore.

Is Kansas really Midwest? I guess. Is Wyoming then the other one? A very long myth is that a munchkin hung himself on the set of The Wizard of Oz. This is not true. What did the actual thing that the shadow cast that people thought munchkin hung himself? You couldn't get on that stepstool. Tusky, I'll let you go first, even though Jack said the same.

Oh, okay. So the Oklahoma munchkin didn't, you know, himself. Did not hang himself. What was the – I think it was a cat in a tree. Incorrect. But surprisingly close. Squirrel. Incorrect.

It's a large crane. It's a bird. Yeah. Bird. I've never seen a crane in a tree. It wasn't in a tree, but yeah. Oh, okay. It just made the, it looked like something was hanging oh yeah but all right

i like how they looked at the shadow and just assumed because of the culture on the set someone killed himself didn't bother to look up i think it was one of those conspiracy theories it could have been flying monkey all right so we have one last state in the midwest it's missouri right it is missouri yeah i can tell because there's a map on that dartboard. I just noticed it. Just watch this. It's going to go from Galaxy Live. It's going to say it.

It's going to show the map. Just wait. It's coming. It's coming. This is great for viewers. This is great. So Bullshooter. What a map is, for those at home that are just listening.

It's actually an outline of the individual states located in the United States. We have 50 of them. On this picture, there's only 48 because Alaska and Hawaii. That's not the only thing a map does. Alaska and Hawaii. But this is the one we're looking at. This is the only map we're looking at. All right.

The time has passed. We're done. But it's there. All right. Question time. The official animal of Missouri is named after this famous drink, I assume. A mule. That is correct.

Wow. Good job. Didn't like that. Yeah. There we go. And that's 2-1. What's the name of this game? Oh, the Midwest Madness.

There we go. 2-1. What's the name of this game? Oh, the Midwest Madness. There we go. I'm very shocked that you didn't know all the states in the Midwest. I'm not. The minute you said that, I go, I'm not going to be able to name them. The minute you said that, I'm bad at most things.

I was good at math. If I could see math, I could name all 50 states probably. Man, can you do the capitals and stuff? My dad could. Oh, I used to be able to do that. I remember we did 23 capitals. Do you think you can name all the states if we put them? That's a game.

You have three minutes to name as many states as you can. Do you think you could get them all? I could probably get them. I think I could get pretty close. That's the map I was talking about. What's the capital of Nebraska? Lincoln. Lincoln.

Capital of Minnesota. Wrong. Not Minneapolis. I already knew you were going to say that. I was talking about. What's the capital of Nebraska? Lincoln. Lincoln. Capital of Minnesota. Wrong. Minneapolis. I already knew you were going to say that. It was wrong. What is it actually? St. Paul. St. Paul, Minnesota. And Checkmate. I said 23 capitals I could get. So Minnesota wasn't going to be those.

I have 27 I can get wrong. I'm not confident. You do it's wild okay i did a stand-up set once and someone said we were talking about the 50 states or um the education in the area and they're like yeah they don't know that there's someone said it's 49 states i was like yeah it'd be weird to not know there's 50 and some lady shouted out she goes yeah 50 too bad it's actually 51 someone said that like stood up like yeah who doesn't know there's 51 states i go what what it was her was what did she come back with dc i was like what is it she goes i don't know i got it well really yeah you pressed her and she didn't have it she goes she didn't have. And then I kept bringing it up because it's fun to make fun of people.

And she wasn't happy about that. Some people say District of Columbia is one technically state. Or they'll say Puerto Rico. Yeah. Those are the two that they can say. But they're not states. But it's not even close. I think we now transition into our fun new little segment we're going to do.

Yeah. Let's do that. Do that. Are you ready? Are you ready to rock and roll? Just slam the drinks. And then we talk about it. And then we're done. Then we talk about it as fast as we can.

Okay. Sarah's waifu. So E-I-E-I-O, think of me as a farmer is what I always say. I did see a meme on Instagram the other day that said, I before E except in Budweiser. And I was like, eh. I think it's after you drink Budweiser. I think that's what the meme was.

Then you misspelled. It or not. Director of marketing, Drink Wisconsinbly. That's my name, my job, and my drink. Depends on the day. But it's not daytime. I went with a nighttime special. So walk us through what every drink of the day would be that led us to here.

Sure. So I really used to enjoy PBR coffee. They discontinued it. So I had to find a new one. But I love hard coffee with a shot of Jameson. You'll see a theme. Shot of Jameson. I think we've got it here.

Wink, wink. Bloody Mary is always good, but you need to know the appropriate time to order them. We are in a bar. What is the appropriate time to order Bloody Mary? Not after like 1230. Unless it's Sunday. Sunday, you can go into brunch. So we can go to 230 maybe?

233. 233. 233. I would accept, but after that, like, ooh. If you're ordering a nighttime buddy too, that's just the most ridiculous thing. Everyone looks at you like an idiot. That's how you know to kick them out of the bar.

Yeah. That or they're underage. So kick them out of the bar. We're also ordering Mike's Hard Lemonade, that too, as a chaser. And then they cap the night off with a Long Island. That was our go-to in the bar.

Your go-to was a Long Island. That's how you knew someone couldn't order in college. It like can i get can i get a a long island and they go that's got all the booze right and i'm like there's all of the door see yourself out please uh yeah so for tonight because we're tonight right so tonight is a tap and miller light love our local beers and uh chaser of a shot of jameson so cheers gentlemen cheers you really got the taste down with this one i just i just did that i almost sipped my microphone thing again i've done that now when you were you were first inventing this drink. I know it's not a cocktail.

You know, it's not a cocktail. But when was probably the first time you've ever had a shot of Jameson after Miller Lite? What are we talking? Probably 25. I didn't do shots of Jameson right away. It was a taste that I had to learn to like and then I learned to hate it after I drank too many. But it actually goes really

well in stuff. So even working for Drink Wisconsin, brandy should be my shot or my go-to for everything that we do. Love my brandy drinks. Those are in the folder of beverages that I consume. Love my brandy Cokes but Jameson, I just like a

good smooth Irish whiskey it's even better when it's cold mmm so do you recommend do we drink the full Miller Lite and then take the shot or is it kind of like a Bloody Mary with the chaser we don't know I'm not that's right I'll be honest. I went with the let's drop it in. Weird. That's what you did with the PBR coffee. You pour the shot in and you drink it as a drink because then it kicks up the juice. Those PBR copies were really good. I love those things.

Every time I saw them, I would bring them by. Hey, guys, try these. So we drink the shot and just in the middle. Shots. Ready? All right. Cheers. Happy Monday.

This is an aggressive Monday night. So smooth. Notice no one had to then, like, take a sip of beer. No one did. This is why I like Jameson. I'm a Jameson fan, too. So I started with Jack just because, like, growing up in my parents' house, I go to the bar basement all I saw

was whiskey and then I like country music so you just hear Jack Daniels Jack Daniels Jack Daniels I don't think I ever really liked Jack I was just like you just gotta drink it and then you start working at a bar and thank you it was also free yeah but I was like oh I could try something else because the the booze would be free at the bar and jamo quickly became um my like go-to whiskeys like that's what i would shoot as well for taking a shot not a tequila guy um but i also think there are two people in the world it is either jack or james in person yeah it is you're one or the other and i think jamo can have good and bad batches is what we used to say when we worked at the bars like because you would have some

ones where you're like, that was pretty bad. Granted, it was probably when the bar, we were on the rooftop, and it's just been soaking in the sun a little bit. Oh, nasty. I was just about to say the warmer it is and the warmer liquor is and gets in its fluctuation, it is just disgusting. But Jameson makes flavors too. They do.

Their cask mix ones were phenomenal. I like that one. I'm going to go coffee again because they make coffee. This one's great. They do. Their cask mixed ones were phenomenal. I like that one. I'm going to go coffee again because they make a coffee one. They do? That one's great. Coffee. I think that's what we found out

that she loves her coffee drinks. That's the morning drink. Well, it's an all-day drink too. Do you like Irish coffees? No. Uh-uh. But that's basically what you're doing with the PBR. No.

Because the PBRs are flavored. It's an Irish coffee with a Midwest twist because you got the beer, coffee, and whiskey. It's the PBRs are flavors it's an Irish coffee with a Midwest twist because you got the beer coffee and whiskey it's the PBR affinity with coffee and it tastes like

chocolate milk yeah it's really sugary yeah yeah that doesn't taste like chocolate milk to me I don't like Bailey's what about Irish Car Bomb

no oh that tastes like chocolate milk to me I love those that tastes like chocolate milk to me those are a lot of fun I mean maybe at one of these times we should just do chocolate milk with Jameson.

I like that idea. I like that idea. We're in Wisconsin. We need to have some more milk-based alcohols. With cheese chasers. Back before we were illegally allowed to purchase alcohol, my buddy won a small thing of rum in a white elephant and his family was like no just regular rum and we didn't have anything to mix with it we were so

excited because it's like one of the first times we were ever going to drink and we didn't have anything except for skim milk in my fridge and so we mixed rum and skim milk. And we named them Zeldas. Because that's what my mom, when she would go to, she used to live down here. And when she would go to Victor's and there would be guys that would hit on her and she didn't want them to hit on her. She would say, my name's Zelda. And then they would kind of get the hint that that's not actually her name. You know, there's a different name for Victor's. What's it now?

Well, no, it's called Victor's. But from a lady's standpoint different name for victors what's it now well no it's called victors but from a lady's standpoint we called it victims yeah yeah yeah yep like that was the thing like you'd go there and like you were not not safe you just get hit on by yeah yeah my mom and her friends gave me a good rundown of victors. Don't go. So growing up drinking, what was your first go-to? Did you go to more of the cocktails or were you a beer person right away? I was beer right away.

So my dad loved craft beer, like the big, dark, stout quarters, and I thought they were disgusting. So I started with – I actually started with Zima. Oh, yeah, it was Zima. Yeah. Is that when mosquitoes bite you? That is Zika. Zika is like with mosquitoes.

Yeah. Zima was like the best blue malt beverage cocktail. It was before Mike's Hard Lemonade. It was basically Smirnoff. Yeah, it was Smirnoff. It was Smirnoff, zima for like the cool kids i think i even like peeled the label off my first bottle and saved it in a scrapbook from when i turned 21 so that answers the question what was before white claw oh yeah that because that was

like white claw came when I was in college, and I don't really remember, maybe like a year into it. I didn't drink before college because you're not supposed to, and I just didn't know what people consumed. So I was like, seltzers have just always been a thing. Boxes of Zima were brought to parties. See, Zima was a big one when I was just on the tail end of Zima for me. But we had Blue UV and Lemonade.

Yeah, yeah. That was – If you ever like – I have a great story about that. Bought any – you're like, yeah, these people are underage. There's no one who buys UV Blue over 21 years old. And a bigger bottle, too. Oh, yeah.

Like, the big plastic one. Yeah. Did they sell them in smaller bottles? Because that's what the naughty kids in my high school drank, was the UV blue. They do. They do sell them in the smaller bottles, like the little shooters. But the thing now, the kids are not throwing up just blue liquid, which is, like, a shame. I think they should have a rite of passage i think the uv

blue and lemonade or gatorade was like most people's first like cocktails like oh i'm pretty sure that's why i don't like vodka yeah mine was a homemade twisted tea i thought it was the greatest i can't drink the twisted tea cans i'm not like a sugar person but uh we were at a dave matthews concert at alpine valley so fun if you're in the bus section unbelievable just lined up buses we brought the music for everyone this guy's like i got the greatest cocktail and was it batch made or individually batch made so just got a gatorade container got a Gatorade container and whoever was the drunkest at the end of the night we dumped the rest of it on um but it was just like the cheapest vodka you could find lemonade vodka and I was new to that world I was like this is the greatest thing I've

ever had in my entire life and I and I then brought it to every tailgate every like music festival and I'm like guys I got the greatest thing ever and then Twisted Tea came out I was And I then brought it to every tailgate, every, like, music festival. And I'm like, guys, I got the greatest thing ever. And then Twisted Tea came out. I was like, they ripped me off. I mean, let's be real honest. Like, Wapitui and Crap Parties and Whitewater was probably, like, the first thing that I drank obsessively besides Miller Lite. Because, you know, it was readily available because it was in tubs. Literal tubs that you just stuck your cup into so i've realized and i've heard that there's a little bit of an age gap

difference in how uh some of us drink or have learned to drink where where we played beer pong we actually poured the beer in our cups and drank out of the cup that the dirty pong was like landing in and like you shared everything and now they're using water. I feel like I was robbed. I feel like I was robbed when people would put water in their cups. It's not as much fun. It's like, all right, just take a sip. It's like, no, we've got to have some stuff.

I've done both. You should have dirt in your beer if you're playing beer pong. Yeah, I think that's the thing. It should be perfect. Yeah, you should get a staph infection from this beer pong game. That's what we need. But I always think we had a rule, even when we put water in the cups, you have to finish your beer by the end of the game.

Yeah. So it's not like even if you're sipping, that better be gone by the end of the game. You're not leaving the table without a full beer. I hope you're drinking out of 12-ounce or 16-ounce cups rather than 8-ounce cups that we get down the street when we play beer pong. Oh, jeez. Yeah, little tiny babies. Can we do a beer pong tournament here?

Ideas. Ideas. Maybe. Bass tournament for sure. No, you said how we were raised drinking. Everyone's taking a different avenue. I think most people know Midwest, Wisconsin specifically, we are pretty known for being, I would say, avid drinkers. Sure, we'll call it drunkards.

I was going to say avid professionals. I like avid professionals better. Yeah. We moderate. We also do it responsibly here. Right. Absolutely. We do.

That's the thing. Do you have a lot of friends or family out of state, born out of state, that you bring them here? And they have like a culture shock of like, oh, they do this professionally. Great story. So my cousin lives in Colorado, lived in New Orleans, but lives in Colorado. She actually started dating Wisconsinite. We all hung out together, and we quickly drank her under the table at christmas just at christmas uh she didn't know what she was getting herself into didn't think her boyfriend could hang

on he and i went drink for drink and we were fine and she had to go take a nap in the afternoon she learned very quickly when we also get together not only just being culture shock like you just when wisconsinites get together we know how to hang out. Notice how it was nap in the afternoon. Like it was quickly, quickly drink under the table. They started early, often and hard. And they're like, well, holidays start with Bloody Marys like in the morning. So like that is the pre-present on Christmas drink of choice.

This is all on Christmas Day? Did you not grow up with pre-present drinks? Is that just me? No. No, usually Santa just brought me like a Lego. Now, maybe if I was getting like containers of pickles and olives, I could have seen the writing on the wall, but no. I learned how to make a Bloody Mary at like eight,

so I would make a Virgin Mary for myself, and then my parents would, like I would make all the mix and put all the garnishes in and then they would just add their vodka. Like I learned how to make a Bloody Mary real early in life. I think for like we're all different how we grew up because you grew up city.

I mean Franklin's a city. You can't tell me Franklin's not a city. The most city out of us for sure. Where are you all from? I'm from a small, small town called Leopold, Wisconsin. It's like 40 people. This is like country in the boom. So you have one bar and one restaurant.

Yeah, so like every country song is about my life. Like we've had parties in fields in front of like tires that are just lit on fire. It's literally how we have. I mean, I had friends like that too, but I grew up in the city. Yeah. I was. All right, Appleton. Let me know.

But I'm not by Milwaukee. That's the difference. I'm closer to him than I am to Milwaukee. But aren't you closer to Green Bay? I'm closer to a field than I am Milwaukee. Green Bay has like how many people? The Packers? It's way less than Milwaukee.

I mean, I went to, I grew up in Waukesha. The Shaw. So I was in Appleton. Okay. So that's like. I mean, the lateral. Yeah, grew up in Waukesha. The Shaw. So I was in Appleton. Okay. So that's like – I mean, a little lateral. Yeah, I think that's very similar. Yeah, very similar.

I think those are very similar. It's not city and it's not country. It's like city and not – Literally, we had a dirt road that like connected two actual like roads and we would just put two trucks on each side to block off the dirt road and start a fire in the middle of it. That's what we would party. Yeah, you drive 10 minutes out one way.

There's plenty of times I look at a cornfield and I'm like, oh, man, that would be great to just cut out a party spot in the middle of that. We actually talked about that, having a DW maze at some point. Oh. Having a little meat. And at least, well, no. We're on the way. It's like like a cocktail like a bar and that'd be sweet oh that would be fun like just cocktails all throughout the maze i know like you're well

in the middle so like you have to get to the bar in the middle but we could make the maze really hard and there's just cocktails everywhere and they're like then they know what i don't want to make it to the end i don't want to make it to the end. All the bartenders will be like, where is everyone? TMJ 4 is over. I'm like, alright. Jenny, left. I have to tie a balloon to everyone just to make sure you can see them at the end of the night.

They're getting close. Incredible. Did you have a question that we just went out on a tangent on? What was the question? No, it's totally fine. Isn't this how most of our conversations go? Yeah. You never finish anything.

Yeah. I think the biggest thing is tying all in those guns because the best is day drinking or any type of smooth drinking is a Miller Lite. You can just do it all day. or any type of smooth drinking is a millilite. You can just do it all day. How many times do you sprinkle in the shot then?

It's a low ABV. Let's get it right. I understand my ABVs and the alcohol. I love my craft beers. I love my breweries. I know. You don't like the porters and the stouts. I get it.

Gotcha. It's seasonal too. So winter season,, porter stouts, bigger, heavier beers. But, like, day drinking all day long. I mean, I like to shot an hour. Shot an hour? I like that. That's a good. I mean, but it can get aggressive.

Like, if you have a good bartender and you're playing around a dice and you lose and you lose or you win and you win. Like, I mean, it all depends on what you're doing at the bar. Bar activities, I feel like next time we do this, we should play some dice and see who wins. Oh, that would be fun. Oh, here's one. Where's the best seat in the house? Over there. Literally.

Like, literally. Yeah, you have your best. There is a chair painted, and it's kind of like, where's Waldo? So when you come in, you got to find it because we move it all the time, but it is painted and it says the best seat in the house so find it next time you're here if you could put that seat anywhere in the house though do you prefer your own high top table with a few people do you like just being in the corner do you like hey we kind of have a table off to the side with our coats playing darts or you like being bellied up to the bar personally i'm always belly up to the bar always always always have'm always bellied up to the bar. Always, always, always.

Have a good conversation with the person next to me if I'm drinking by myself because I don't mind doing that either. Or just hanging out with the bartender or just doing some work, but always bellied up to the bar. That's the right spot to be. That's the right spot to be. I mean, bellied up is always you meet the bartender, you make friends, and anytime you're in a Wisconsin bar, anytime,

the bartender is your best friend. Everyone's friendly. It's so nice. The Midwest niceness is 1,000% underrated, I think. Like people say, oh, they're all Midwest nice. No, we are genuine people, and I think it's amazing. What is your favorite bar game to play when you're at the bar so there's other things that's tough where am i sitting that's that's the question if i'm at the

bar yeah dice for sure um i've been darts guy though i like darts pool i think is one of the it's fun it's a basement game it's not a bar game in my opinion it gets in the way i won't i good for him big zach brian fan big zach i listened to in north carolina this weekend and one of our like nights in we just put the zach brian red rocks concert on and just had some food and some drinks and hung out. And then we went to the worst open mic I've ever seen in my entire life. It was North Carolina Comics.

So yours is Dice. What's yours? Mine would be Dice at a bar, but if I'm at home, I love playing hockey. Have you ever played that? Oh my God. The amount of hockey i played two weekends

it's so much fun so everyone has their drink and then you have a quarter and then like you spin the quarter and you call someone else's name and they have to try to like hit the quarter to the someone else's drink and then if you hit the drink the person that's drink got hit has to drink for the amount of time the quarter spins the person that has to spend the quarter and so then if they finish their drink before the quarter stops spinning and they slam their drink down on top of it then the other person has to finish their drink or you can also many rules it's but it flows here's like it's an electric game it's not if that like controversial saying dudes will be dudes that is that game right there. That is that game.

It is, to simplify it, it is everyone's got a beer, spin it, hit the quarter into another beer. That's it. No counting? Oh, no, it's no counting. One quarter. Spin it, hit it. You have to count how long the quarter's been spinning. No, you just have to drink until the quarter stops spinning.

So you're watching the quarter. And then the person can stop the quarter spitting if it stops on its side then the person has to finish their drink there's all these different fun ways to play this game i think hockey hockey's good but like as like a basic game for everyone to like not chug their beer well i like uh liar's dice that's pirate dice from pirates of the caribbean that's what that is. Yeah? Yeah. That's a good one. Liar's dice? Have you ever played?

Is it called anything else? They call it Mexico or BS or anything like that. It's basically a bluff game. And that's how you learn if someone's good at lying. It's a lot of fun. And it's basically just two dice, cup, and basically you're just trying to beat the person next to them. But they only look at it and they tell you what they have.

I think we just got our next big idea. We're just going to do a bar game series. We're just going to – We can do whatever the hell we want. Well, to a degree. I think we have some rules, some regulations. Someone says you have to be responsible. Body shots off Kuski's feet is going to be. My favorite game is body shots off Kuski.

I've said it a bunch of times. My favorite game is body shots off Kuski. At least you're not eating sushi off of Kuski. That's true. You could, though. You could, though. I like it cold. I like it cold.

My body will bring it right down to room temperature just for you guys. Well, we want to thank you for showing us your signature cocktail. Kuski, do you have any questions left? Sorry, it's not my cocktail. No, but I think this is the perfect representation of a Wisconsin cocktail. Besides an old-fashioned, this is how you do it. This is a pro drinking cocktail you don't we're not trying to do what's that viral video of like a negroni spagliato no it's a miller light and

some jameson get over it get it over with we're done we're done