Fat Chance Podcast - The PROBLEM w/ Christmas Movies Ep.185

Episode Date: December 4, 2025

Does anyone read these descriptions? Can you leave a comment?

so what is the toy so it just spins it's just spins on the ground but it's like it's got like a sheet over it so they can't see that's it's basically like an automatic hand under the blanket kind of game and it just like it has random patterns so it seems

and three different settings and I just turn it on and they're over there because the last two episodes I've done three episodes of these guys they have nearly taken down the entire studio so Do you think it's because they want to be on the pod? Not at all.

Not at all. I don't even think you and I really want to be on this pod. You have people begging to be on the pod. What are you talking about it? We used to. Oh, we could still get some big guess on the pod. Anyone just wants their name on the internet. Well, I mean, you did one with Garrett from Colorado.

Where is you from? he's from denver he's from he's from new jersey but move here i think he's been here like i want to say anywhere from seven to ten years do you do you want me to give you my notes on the episode no well i'm gonna i'm gonna bring them out hang on i wrote i wrote down a bunch of notes oh this is good um yeah is it facts that need to be checked that i refuse to check? It's first of all

what's this guy's name? You never introduced them I don't do that Just a brain new brain new guy on the thing Exactly

I When have I ever made this By the way Nice Christmas tree in the background Oh thank you very much I would tell You have a nice

Reef in the background I do I got that from Costco 1999 I don't know I don't know if I don't know if our camera's

gonna get either of these No because I'll crop them in I'll crop them in Yeah, no, I, the name's in the title, they should know. I don't even remember what the title was. Yeah, for sure. Number one, I'm going to go off a comment, and this is directed at Trash Pimp.

Is he supposed to fact-check things? What are we talking about here? Who's supposed to fact-check things? Me or Cusky? I don't know what that's supposed to be. Also, Cuskey is on frozen on my screen, which is rough, because that means I'm just going to be talking to nobody. It means that I'm going to have to just polar this episode like I normally do.

We're just going to have to get Cusky back on here. There you go. Now you are. Now there you are. Hold on. Now I can hear you. Can you hear me now? No, I can't hear you.

No. I got to be. Oh, good Lord. Man, this is going to be the best episode of... There you go. Now I hear you. Yeah, this is interesting because... This is going to be the best episode of...

Because now we're just going to get feedback from your phone onto the mic. Yeah, no, I mean, no, we're just talking into here. We're good. We're good. I did a complete monologue while we were disconnected, so we're good. You're have to keep that in. I figured. I figured. It's just me talking to trash pimp on how we're supposed to fact-check people now?

Yeah. I saw that. He was on the podcast. What do you mean finally someone who had fact-tracks? When did you fact-check on the pot? Yeah, I don't like the whole. It's not fun to fact-check. I think it's more fun going through life just thinking you're always right. Or just be in the moment with your friends. Exactly. So what if your math is off? You know, who cares? I don't even know what we fact-checked. I don't know.

On this phone, he just looked at it, but a fact off his phone. I think that's what he was talking about. The dog pill thing, yeah. Yeah, I think that was about. Also, number two, you didn't show your nipples, but talked about how small they were. Yeah, well, I can't do that.

It was almost like you were eluding, like, just teasing the people. I just like, I want to let you guys know. Like, Like, you're hard to get a titty. Right now, my pinky is basically covering the entire nipple. You're a hard guy to get a titty twister on. I think that's a...

It's hard. It's not even a titty twister or anything like that. You're getting full... You're getting the boob. You're not getting the teeth. Yeah, you're up the cup. Yeah. Have you seen Robert Irwin's nipples?

No. Are they similar? Similar to mine. They are non-existence. Cusky's going to pull a picture now. It's Robert Ruin. It's nipples. They're crazy.

It's almost like a Ken doll. Interesting. You know what the best part is? Usually I would put up a picture, but I don't even listen to these through anymore. I just sync us up and put us on the internet. Also, you let so many of his jokes go. Yeah.

It was like having you here. But I bet that was frustrating from him, you know? I am used to it, but he's probably like this guy is not yes-standing anything over here. No, I can't do the dad joke. I can't do it. You also let it go. You didn't scoff at it like you wouldn't mind. Yeah, but again, it's you, not him.

I got to at least make him seem like I'm friendly. It's fair. Lied to the kid. All right, he teaches just Holocaust? Yeah, it's one of his bits, but I think he teaches, it's a weird school, I think. I think he teaches history, but maybe it's just, maybe it's a specialty school

where like, yeah, six months on the Holocaust. Yeah, you made it seem like he only talks about the Holocaust. Here's the thing, that's all he does talk about. What? What? It's just, I've never heard him say he teaches, like, U.S. history, European history, like, the wells in Africa, anything like that. Like, it's, it's just genocide. All right.

Garrett, we need to get you, we need to get a comment on this. What do you teach? Also, do you want to try the Hitler joke again? I don't even remember it. Yeah, yeah. Well, it didn't land there, so I don't think. yeah he he very politely breeze past it which i was like i was like that's so funny it was probably a good joke you didn't give him anything for any of his dad jokes then you say

a hitler joke and he's like now i'm gonna go keep going yeah i think you like you could definitely tell the supplements kicked in at some point um also maybe just optics for the school well also uh you didn't tell him take your take your shoes off they were in the camera the whole time untied which is like the sauciest way to keep your shoes on the thing is like I was just edging everyone until today yeah yeah you were edging them out oh just untied shoes it's like you know it's like when a when a dress a spaghetti strap just drops below you're like oh is it going to drop nope staying on constantly just right at the corner of the the shoulder yeah um You're slowly getting rid of me, which I think is nice.

That's great. Yeah. That was, yeah. What I didn't say, that was I'm slowly getting rid of me, too. Like, this is going to transition to Fat Chance is going to become Trash Pimp and Jack Sarasoli. Yeah, and there's going to be fact-checking each other constantly? No, it's just going to be Diego fact-checking Jack. That's it.

It's not Jack fact-checking any. I would pay money to record trash pimp to look, watch our episodes back and just fact check them. That'd be great. Like he's just like we have a second episode out the week and it's just trash pimp watching our episode, commenting, like a DVD commentator. Fact or Fat Chance in review, it's even longer than the actual episode. It's like, all right, this is where they went wrong. Six seconds in.

Yeah. Oh, all right. These guys are idiots. They don't know what they're talking. They're so straight. Oh, yeah. Michael needs to hike up a shorts more. Yeah.

Shuffed up some muscle. See, a little more ball. More ball is what everyone wants. Just a little more ball. Did you watch the movie Grind? Yeah, I did. You did? All right.

Well, who is the main character? The Grindr. Oh, this is one of the Scars Guard Brother films, right? I knew you were going to watch it. So I want to give you a little bit of tidbits so that you know what the grind movie is. Okay, so hold on. Did you watch this or did you Wikipedia this? No, I watched it.

Okay. But, so there's some people in it that you'll recognize. Bam Margera's in it. Okay. Oh, it's a skateboarding movie? Yes, a Wii man from Jackass is in it. Shooter McGavin's in part of it. Okay.

But the main character is, I don't really know what he's from, but the other main character is the guy from Rat Race. The guy who gets his tongue pierced in Rat Race. I don't know. Okay. Well, and they use the song Boom by POD. lot. Yeah.

I mean, it's on my agenda to watch it tonight. It's in my slate of Christmas movies I want to see this month. Okay. So what's on the Christmas movie schedule? What are you going to watch? Well, grind is tonight.

Just grind in the way. No. Christmas movies schedule to watch. Happy December everyone. So we've put on two already. Just as background noises while we were trying to get some panic last minute shopping in last night and the night before. So I watch Deck the Halls. And Watch is a very loose term.

It's what I would do with Grind. Who's in Deck of the Halls? Danny DeVito and the guy from, why am I blanking? What's the guy from Ferris Bueller's Day Off? Yeah. Ferris? Yeah, Ferris. So, yeah, Danny DeVito.

And then what's the other one we watched? Christmas Vacation, which Hot Take, not a fan of. Oh, not a Chevy Chase guy. Not really. It's just not a fan of that movie in general. I feel like it, all right, so this might be an odd way to describe that movie. Yeah. It's very uncle humor.

Yes. Does that make sense? Anyone? It makes sense to me. Your uncle loves that movie. Yeah, it's like, it's on during the Christmas party, and the only person laughing, only person laughing is your uncle in the background,

because it was his favorite movie growing up. And it's like, we're not watching it, we're opening presents. I just, I don't, I'm just not a fan. Some people swear by that movie. It's just not me. I'm at a point where there's four Christmas movies that I'm like, I'll watch.

and then it's going to take a lot for me I feel like it's going to take me to have kids to maybe get into another Christmas movie So you're a big Tom or Tim Allen

Yeah Tim Allen Yeah he's going up Poster tonight right there Do you save them Closer to Christmas then? Yes and no I go back and forth It's like, all right, am I sick of Christmas movies

By the time I get to Christmas That me watching Santa Claus isn't as fun As if I watched in the beginning When the excitement's there I mean, the excitement's there throughout But Christmas movies kind of, they get a little old Even music, you're like, you don't hear deck the hall So many times

But yeah It's I think I put it in the middle where I'll put my favorite one probably I'll watch it this weekend where it really starts to feel Christmassy or the following weekend like two weeks into December is the good Christmas movies towards the end you're kind of just putting on stuff in the background that's when you're putting on I think in my head like

the animated Grinch or um even elf is I've just seen it so many times Yeah, because, I mean, do you watch any new ones? The only Christmas movie I have found that I have enjoyed is Christmas Chronicles. It was on Netflix. There's a Chronicles 2, I believe.

Every once in a while, it's got a good soundtrack, and I'm like, you know what, I'm good with that. A good soundtrack will save a movie. Yeah. I worked with John Radinsky. He's in a Christmas movie. I watched with Lindsay Lohan. And the only reason I watched it is because the day after I worked with him,

he had to fly out and shoot that movie. I have seen that Christmas movie. It is not good. Michael, once again, is low quality. He is basically going in bits and pieces. I'm low quality. You are very low quality. You look like you're on a Game Boy right now.

Oh, really? Can you hear me, though? I can hear you. It sounds like you're in a well. Oh, really? Oh, maybe it's because I got to tilt you just a little bit. Is that sound better? That sounds good.

Okay. Yeah, I think the phone was just getting a little caught up in the vibrations of the wooden stick. I got a brain. new phone, which is kind of fun. You did. Do you like getting a brand new phone? I hate getting a brand new phone. I hate getting a new phone. It's so much work to go there and then they change everything over and you have to wait.

And I don't know what happened, but I couldn't get text messages for 24 hours. So if anyone texted me in 24 hours, I didn't get it, which is fine. but I don't need to be on my phone 24-7 which is fine okay but I was driving home in a snowstorm from a gig which is even worse because then if I would have got an accident I would have to slide in someone's DMs to get me that's the funniest thing I would have done it like man

and the ones that would load too yeah I don't just with a new phone it's not like like when you're younger I feel like we've kind of reached our like the iPhone's kind of tapped out in like the stuff you can do like if I it's just a nicer camera

maybe a little bit different layout like I remember going from like iPod touch to iPhone I'm like oh my God I can text on this on the go it's not just games all that and then I felt like three to four to five to six were bigger jumps

and I feel like tend to wherever we're at now it's just the same phone different shape it's just a hassleing it's more storage it's more you know better camera quality but it's not like anything new that you haven't

had before there's a button now that you can click to make it be anything you click this button your flashlight or your camera could pop up yeah that's fine but it's also at the same point like do I need am I going to use that no

What feature on your phone are you using that regularly? Like, unless you're in a coal mine and you need a flashlight real quick. If you could pop up my fantasy football team. Oh, Michael beat Judd this week. That is something I do want to talk to you about. What is going on with your team that it is all of a sudden started to play football? See, here's the thing. I think I draft like it's not fantasy football, like it's a real team.

Like, you know what? These guys are going to come around late Caesar and make a good playoff push. And I just tank. Every year I tank and I tank. I've also hit with the injury bug. I mean, finally people are coming back from injuries. The funny thing is your team isn't going to make the playoffs. I have a 45% chance.

I have the same record as ever. Everyone else, except for one person. It's crazy. One person, besides my friend Big Red and I think my brother, everyone else is seven and six. It's crazy. Everyone. So, oh, and Fish. My buddy Fish is also in the last place.

But it's crazy because your team now, everyone is on by. So, and the person you're playing, same thing. So you're both projected 50 points this week. Yeah. So it's just going to be a battle of just two kids throwing stones at each other. Exactly. Who's getting that one touchdown? And you know what? If I win and the right guy loses, I got a chance to squeeze in.

Jesus. What's go on? There's a semi-honking in my backyard. Who knows? Do you hear that? Is that your Uber? I do hear that. Yeah, I do hear that.

Let's take a little gander. What's going on back here? Who knows? Maybe it's a homeless guy. I found a horn. I'm flip the camera. Yeah, flip the camera. It was a fun.

It was a fun. I won in both leagues handedly. Handedly. And you know how I play fantasy football. I'm usually commission. I do a lot of leagues in, I am 7 and 6 in every single one. Yeah, I need to win this week to make the playoffs in every single one. And that is why I'm going to die younger than normal.

Yeah, I have a 1% chance to make the playoffs in my other league. So you're saying there's a chance? I'm saying there's a chance, baby. And then I have like a 45% chance in our league. And I'll be honest with you. I don't care about either. All I care about, like, at all, is that, like, if I lose our league, nothing happens to me.

I lost $20. I play with my friends. If I lose in the other league, which I'm in the consolation bracket, for sure, I just can't be dead last. And after the team I played this week, or what? Oh, it's a wheel of punishment. So it's a bunch of things that could happen. Yeah.

So we'll see I'm kind of hoping if I do lose It's like I got to drink my way out of a bar That'll be fun Yeah I've seen that one It seems doable Yeah I mean all you gotta do is be like hey This is my day drinking day

You just The one that I saw The one that I saw like his friends came And showed him like oh So you guys are just day drinking It's all it is It's like okay you just day drinking And he just got there earlier

Yeah, what you got to do is you're like, hey, you don't get a phone and you got to go to, like, a non-sports bar. And so it's just like you and whatever, like, news channel they have on TV, drunk alone. And then you really say, there's no distractions, nothing. You just really feel it. That would suck. Yeah. Yeah, it's all about making sure that they get a punishment out of it. Otherwise, what is it?

You're just going to go, you're like, oh, you got last place. You got to drink beer. Okay. Yeah, I mean. Oh, no. Please don't make me drink beer. We have other ones like we have a peanut butter mile. Okay.

It's like a beer mile with peanut butter? No, you just cover yourself head to toe in peanut butter and then you got to run a mile. in front of a dog or something yeah we got like you got to get a piercing can be of your choosing got to have it for like a month so

if you get a nipple piercing could you just get a stud yeah I could just get a little stud yeah I don't even big enough for hoops this one never gets hard so like I don't even know how they get something in there wait do that wait they have to get your nipple hard

I feel like if you want to get underneath it, you don't want it to be like a deflated balloon. Diego, we need a fact check this. Diego, we need you to pierce Michael's nipple. All right? He would take, he would definitely do that. But you have to get it hard first, so good luck, Diego. Yeah, just blow on it. Never gets hard.

That's crazy. Yeah. Only one. No, it gets hard, but like the other one is like perpetually hard. So it's what I feel like it should be normally. and then this one is like when you when you go like this you know one knobby one probably can you feel can you feel your nipple when you do this i mean i got yeah yeah i don't feel it this no nipple kendall turned down kendall turned on i can get them both i can get them both this is great this is great podcasting by the way i don't know how we don't have millions and millions of views on this stuff i think you'd want to see me rubbing my nipples all you do is put my feet up and then we're good Have you had any fun shows coming up in the past that you've done?

Anything fun that you want to talk about in the fight? No, I did a small break, but I did the rotating tap one not too long ago. I told you about that one. I've been so busy with other stuff between being home and traveling and whatnot, so hopefully that cures back up after this. Be going to Comedy Works, hopefully get on there. I'll go work out and put some Christmas decorations up. It's just, you know, it's just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes.

Yeah. You got anything fun on the docket, any ones that you're preparing for? Any shows or just events? Shows or events? Either one. No shows. Coming back. Coming back for the holidays? I'm coming back for the holidays.

I'm going to try and put together a Christmas bar crawl this Saturday. My mom is coming in for one night, Friday. So we'll go out to dinner. and then next weekend one of my co-workers having a Christmas party, I'll do that. Never been to a work or co-worker Christmas party before. Yeah, so that'll be interesting. Some are more fun than others. I worked for a company before the company I work at now.

They used to do a casino night. That was fun. That was a fun Christmas party. So they give you $5,000 fake dollars in chips. And they had craps, they had blackjack, they had poker, they had roulette, that all these games. And then every $500 you have at the end goes into Raffle for real money. So they had a bunch of different prizes and some were like real money. Okay.

So you would always, you know, go to a Christmas party. You would have your significant other. And they would also get $5,000. So what I'm not a big gambler. So what I would do is I would instantly, me and my significant other would, at the time, would literally just be like, all right, $5,000, put that in our pocket. Yeah. Then we at least get, you know. You're good.

we at least get some cash you know or at least to get some raffles and then we just go on the roulette table and just chunk away all night but yeah that's been that was many moons ago that I got to go with the Christmas party

and the Christmas party that I go with now it's fine they usually have some entertainment they usually have like some dancers or a band or something to kind of liven up but yeah I've been I usually have a show

that night. So I just go for maybe a meal and then skip out. Yeah, the, that's how I gamble just in general is like I'll go with some money and then once I, like if I go with 50 bucks, I had this conversation the other day, I'll go with 50 bucks and then if I make 25 off that 50, I pocket that 50. I'm like, all right, I'm breaking even no matter what. Now I'm only gambling with 25. Yeah, that's a great way to do it.

Stay out of the plant. go play with your toy um i had a a fun show in uh merrill wisconsin which is um it was through snowstorm so i was like i don't know if anyone's going to come and it was a packed packed house um and man it was just like a one of those shows that i'm like oh yeah this is why i do it this was so much fun And it was really good comedians. It was a really good hang. And then the crowd was just the whole time, energetic, polite when you did talk to them, like, not trying to be too much. And she loved when you rift.

But, you know, also was there for you for your longer jokes. It was great. It was a good time. And then it just snowed the entire time. So driving from Merrill back to Milwaukee was. a nightmare yeah i heard you guys got dumped on yeah yeah there's a lot of snow here which makes for um a pretty christmas yes but uh now right after it snowed usually you're like oh hopefully it you know is sunny so the roads are at least fine it is colder than all hell

well i think you're supposed to be i saw some graphic online today and i don't know if it's real or not but like wisconsin's supposed to be the coldest state at all of them in the coming week and that's we're finally getting snow here to tonight and tomorrow uh least it's what they say so i i hope like i agree with you the snow in december great for a good aesthetic christmas pretty christmas i like snow to disappear then and then only snow in the mountains which would be nice but are you going skiing uh yeah unfortunately probably won't be able to go until after Christmas

and then it'll be probably my personality on the weekends for two months. Oh, that's fair. Say, what's up to the skiing easy guys if you go out there? Let's see them. Yeah, oh, I definitely will meet up with them at some point. We'll get them back on here. They just released their

the scheduling didn't work out, but they just dropped their season two or three of their clothing. Oh, yeah. I did see that. It looks cool. Looks awesome. You need a Christmas present for someone and they're into winter sports go check out skiing easy.com they yeah they got a dope uh mountain one i got something for someone and i put even on my christmas list i put a little something from there on they got good stuff if you need anything on christmas get them some booze better because they're probably a terrible

drunk and you don't want them hung over so get some booze better uh get them some comfort sweatpants pants i love them michael loves them yeah get them a skiing is easy uh you know sweater knit sweat or something. If you get someone a skiing is easy knit sweater that they can go down the slopes with and unfortunately they made the wrong decision and got these shitty canned cocktails,

afterwards they're probably going to need some booze better and then they're going to want to wrap up with some sweatpants the next day I'll hung over. That sounds like a Christmas to remember. That is what you should do. And that is how you have a fat chance Christmas. Stay tuned to the next week when we watch Grind

and talk about it. We'll watch grind. But from here on out, over and out, this is Judd and Michael. Merry Christmas. Three, Merry Christmas. One, clap.