Fat Chance Podcast - Up North Arrests & Thanksgiving Ep.146

Episode Date: November 28, 2024

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pulled me over, I had Wisconsin plates on. It was my car from Wisconsin and they pulled me over. They're like, yeah, you can't do that. And I was like, how am I supposed to know? There's no signs anywhere. Do you want me to like? What you should have said is, hey, I'm talking here. Hey, I'm talking here.

Not a phone call. But I was pissed. So then I had to like write letters back and forth to not. Yeah, they make it really old school to get out of anything. My buddy got pulled over this weekend hunting and we were literally talking about it on the way up. So I'm about like, it came up, getting pulled over. I'm like, I've been pulled over four times this year.

What are you doing wrong? Well, I ran, didn't really run, but I was pretty close on a yellow red on the same intersection. And both times when I went, I see the cop to my right and I just pull over immediately. And then Rachel got pulled over on the St. Patrick's Day parade my car has been pulled over four times for my windows and then which have

been fixed and so if any cops watch this please don't come after me and then the other one was when they thought I was trafficking Rachel when I was bringing her back from the airport that's right that. That's right. So he's like, yeah, I haven't been pulled over in years. I haven't been pulled over. Gets pulled over while we're up north in bumfuck nowhere. And the guy goes, so why'd you pull out in front of me? He goes, I was trying to follow my dad. And I just, I didn't see it, didn't notice. And I just get my fault pulled over right away like that's my bad Here's my license rich all that stuff he goes Ask the question he goes. Why'd you pull out in front of me goes? I he's like I messed up

Why are we making this a bigger deal than it needs to be goes? Okay? Well, what's your insurance goes? I'm pulling it up my app. It's not loading right now goes well you figure that out. I'm going back to the car I'm like, why are you being a dick? Comes back and then he comes goes back to his car. I'm like, why are you being a dick? Why are you being a dick? Comes back, and then he comes, goes back to his car, comes back. He goes, so, you guys hunting this weekend? Like, yeah, we're in blaze orange hats, a truck with a buck on the front of it,

like logo decal, and I got boots, like we got camo boots on. No shit, we're hunting. He goes, so where are you from? I'm like, it doesn't matter. He goes, where are your guns? I go, why go why like you don't even goes. Where you hunting? Oh, this is getting a little too personal and then he goes well I want to hunt too, and so I don't really want to ruin your weekend. I got you're about to big dick us right now

He goes so I noticed Your your window tints illegal. I noticed your window hood's probably illegal. I know your license plate's expired. My wife's like, I got this sticker, I just haven't put it on, it was raining. You pulled out in front of me, and he goes, if I keep looking, I probably got about five, six, seven hundred dollars worth of tickets, but,

cause I wanna hunt, and I'm on overtime, I'm gonna let you go. And we're like, did you have to bring it all the way up here, show us your power, just say, you could just be could just be like hey happy hunting don't do it again Right and we're gonna have a better image of who you are as a person Then if you just whip your cock out on the dash of the car They're legal dash the dash with windows and he's like we'll let you go, but take a look yeah So I'm still a little bitter about it

We didn't get any tickets But I'm a little bit you shouldn't be better at all because it sounded like he could have hit you with the books He could have but he did he also started listing off things that weren't illegal or like Your don't find ways you're fishing. No fun is sometimes But then you what did you guys get any you got a buck? Yeah, you got anything struck out. Yeah. Did you get anything? Struck out. Yeah. Passed on a lot of, on a few forks, a few spikes.

Saw a coyote, almost shot that, but it ran away. It's got like supersonic hearing. Yeah, don't say that on camera. You could shoot coyotes. Now without a tag. We have a small game. Small game. Yeah, you have to have a small game tag. We have a small game license. You don't need it for Akio.

Oh. Maybe a wolf then? Oh yeah, a wolf I think you would need to. I'm pretty sure those might be endangered too. You can't shoot a wolf I don't think. Unless it's attacking you and your family. We did knock down like two bald eagles. It was crazy. It was soaring high bright.

It had like an American flag wrapped around its neck and we're like We did we got two of them We did not shoot American like we did not shoot bald eagles. I'm gonna say that right now. We did not shoot ball feathers in my pillows Yeah, that's true. You might end up in court for another thing. Yeah. So you can't have a feather of a bald eagle. Yeah, you're not supposed to own them. Yeah.

How the hell? Are we fact checking that? Is this part of your silly games, Judd? No, I wouldn't. You silly goose. But yeah, we struck out. My buddy got an 8-point buck. Nice.

The rest of us didn't get anything. Deer hunting is expensive. Mm-hmm. Like to go up, if you don't have your own property... You cannot own bald eagle feathers without a permit. What if you find one? Yeah. Do you need a permit to find one? A first offense can result in a fine of $100,000. Holy shit, for a feather shit for our friend for one year

We used to write with those things not bald eagle feathers But imagine how patriotic that would be if you were signed the Declaration of Independence with a bald eagle feather pen That's very interesting That is an interesting fact that that kind of fact right there. How do you do a trivia game? That's another thing. It's got the American flag on it. No, they don't You have other has no parallel lines it has a v-shaped groove Okay, sounds like a lot of other feathers. I feel like if you actually pick up a bald eagle feather

You can just be like I didn't know that's what this I feel like if you actually pick up a bald eagle feather, you can just be like, I didn't know that's what this was. You thought this was an owl feather, like I don't know. Take it, take it. Oh no, you're touching it, you can't have it. What is the law on finding one? It's probably part of the law. I just don't think you can own one.

Like you can't have it, you can't keep it. You can keep it? I don't think you can. But like. If you find it on the ground. Why? Is there some. I don't think you can. If you find it on the ground. Why? Is there some...

I don't know! That's a wild law. I mean I understand it because some people aren't poaching it for feathers. But like if you find one and you're like this is a cool feather I want to keep this feather. And then one time you have a cop that pulls you over because you cut one of them on the way to hunting. And he sees that you have a Feather dangling and he goes well guess what I want to go hunting too, but I see you a bald eagle and that's a hundred thousand dollars I guess what I'm not going hunting today because this is a big And I'm getting commission

What if that was like the case like cops got Commission we'd all be getting tickets left and right I mean don't have a quota Yeah, but I don't know how serious that is. I feel like that's a room cops were out Heavy this week. Mm-hmm. Yeah people are boozing and yeah And then a lot of people DNR I didn't know this Dean Arkin is walk onto your land. They don't need a search warrant Yeah, so and then they can also, like, a lot of the, to process the deer or like register a deer, it's online.

Everything is online. You call in. Which is the dumbest thing to do. It used to be, you had your physical tags and you take it, like, we would shoot a deer, we'd take it to a gas station that would allow you to register your deer. They tag your deer, you're good to go.

Now you do it online and you don't have to. Because if you butcher your own deer, you could go out, shoot one, take it home, butcher it, no one knows, no one knows. That a lot of people are getting in trouble because the DNR can just go to them, hey, do you get a deer this year? And they're like, nope.

And they're like, oh well, or last year or anything like that. And they can just pull up their Facebook and be like, oh, well it says right here, picture of your deer on the back of the truck. He goes, you didn't get any deer registered last year, I have your tag up here. So they're doing that now. Wow.

People are, this is, I think we should be, everyone should be registering their deer it is good for like population and like. Also I love that he's like, no we should poach these deer. He's like a wild live researcher. He's like come on, it doesn't hurt to shoot some deer and not tell anybody. No I do not think we should.

I think it's ridiculous. You were all for poaching. You have said so many things illegal today. You are on the wrong side of I joked I didn't joke I was you bet you better cut that out. No Minutes into this and you have said I'm getting suited to our times. Yeah No, but do our County I don't know if it was the same with yours for tags. I think it's too many I don't care what time or what the population's like.

Four tags. I could've taken four deer out myself. We could've taken 16 deer off our property if we wanted to. Too many deer. That's a lot of deer. That's too many deer. Every year we usually get more than one deer. My dad got one for Bo.

So every deer we shoot after that goes to the food pantry. That's really nice. You're really trying to make yourself look good while I'm looking like a piece of shit over here. Because he's like, I'm shooting bald eagles, cutting cops off. I hate cops, by the way. I'm clipping that one. That's what you were saying, dude. I don't know.

That's what you were saying. That's what you were saying. Not what the edit's what you were saying. Not what the edits gonna look like. That's how you edit it. I'm gonna be really pissed dude. It's gonna be so nasty of you if you do that. Yeah. But then you're like well we should post more dear. You're saying some nasty things. Yeah I can't believe it. That was going to hold fire. Me and Jack, we live by the rule. We live by the book. Wait, just say Michael real quick. We're not going to talk about that law breaker.

That oath breaker. Law breaker. You mean Jack? Mm-mm. No, I followed the rules. I haven't gotten pulled over for me trafficking women and shooting bald eagles before. Now we're taking it a little too far.

That's what you did. You literally said you did two of those. You said that you picked up a woman who had bald eagles, and you trafficked her. Only for the feathers. Real quick, because I want to know when to bring this out. Is your game anything to do with Thanksgiving? Yes.

OK, like thankfulness? Remember last year Thanksgiving? Yes. Okay. Like thankfulness? Remember last year? Yeah. What we weren't thankful for? Yeah. Yeah. But I have, I have different things. Okay. And then I'll wait. I'll wait. Okay. Okay. But you guys want to hold how you did in football? I think middle of the pack again. I think I was 50 for 50. I think he probably killed. I think you got two wrong In last place with five and seven, oh fuck this is gonna be me Jack oh wow Wow You were trying to contest a lot. Yeah

In second place with eight and four Oh my gosh that that, that. Holy. There could only be one person that has first place. That would be me at nine and three. Wow. Congratulations. Thank you very much.

You, you did this. You didn't earn it. This is a close race now. Yeah. Yeah, I think me and you are tied. Yeah, and we might be one behind him now. And we are one behind Jack. Yeah.

I'm gonna start taking this seriously. Yeah, me too. I've been just winging it. I've been just making it up. Yeah, I don't even know football that well. We know. So. It's gonna be a fun race down the stretch here.

Yeah, it is. And, let's get these picks in for this week. So I'm feeling a little frisky You just talked about shooting bald eagles Yes, judge you gotta stop talking about that stuff How can you tell if I'm rock hard it's so small you wereaning. OK, that's fair. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

He moans the same way he says sushi. Sushi, egg, wha? You got to, dude. You got to stop. 14 minutes in. 14 minutes in, and almost everything you said is bad. If you're playing kusky bingo at home, you already have a blackout.

Just trying to make you guys some money or drink a lot. All right, here's a Thursday. Might be a stinker. Who knows? Chicago at Detroit. Detroit. I'm going to go Detroit. I'll go to Detroit as well.

The Giants at Dallas. Give me the Cowboys. I'm going to take the Cowboys, too. at Dallas. Give me the Cowboys. I'm gonna take the Cowboys too. Yeah give me the Cowboys. Wait did you take Detroit? Did I? I honestly think I'm blacking out like mid sentence. I was just not here for the last 30 seconds. What's in this going on? What's in this? Bellaville. Bellaville. Limon. OK, sorry.

These are all going to be on Thanksgiving. And then the last one on Thanksgiving would be Miami Packers. Packed by a billion. Yeah. I'll take the Packers as well. That is actually the least. That's the closest game money or like. Yeah, That's the closest game money

Yeah, that's the way you have a game. You have a gambling problem. So only you would know that Let's turn this script on this one Los Vegas at Kansas City Casey Casey, baby. Oh, they almost lost to Carolina. It's a Black Friday game I'm gonna do I'm going to do KC. What do you do? I said KC. All right, wait.

My brain went to another no-no. OK. Chargers at Atlanta before Kusky says something more racist. Chargers. I'm going to say Chargers 2. I'm going to go Atlanta. Great pick. Great pick. That's really smart. You're so smart. That's really smart. Thank you. I'm gonna say Chargers to I'm gonna go atlanta great pick great pick That's so smart. Thank you Pittsburgh at Cincinnati Cincinnati

Pittsburgh also do Pittsburgh Arizona at Minnesota soda Arizona I'm gonna do Minnesota Indianapolis at New England Indianapolis. It's tough. They're both dog shit I'm New England. I'm gonna do Indianapolis. Seattle at the Jets Seattle. Seattle. I'm gonna do jets after a bye. Okay Tennessee at Washington

Washington Washington, I'll do Washington as well Houston at Jacksonville Houston. I'll do Houston as well Rams at New Orleans You mean New Orleans? Rams I'll do Rams as well. Tampa Bay at Carolina. Tampa Bay. Tampa Bay. Philly at Baltimore. This is a tough one.

I'm gonna say Philly. I'm also going to take Philly. I'll take Baltimore. San Fran at Buffalo. Buffalo. I'll do Buffalo. Cleveland at Denver. although that was a that was a cool game to watch the the Cleveland Steelers game yeah that was

fun that was a very in the snow have you seen the NFL films video of Jamison Jamison Jamis running in for the last touchdown. It's sweet, it's sweet, yeah. He's such a goofy guy. He's so weird. Rachel sent me a video today of him running out of the tunnel, and she goes, it just seems like he loves life.

That's really not what you want out of an NFL player. Like I want him to run through a wall and maybe kill someone. He's having a good time though, but he's a quarterback, you don't need him to run through a wall. How many quarterbacks run through walls? None. Yeah but he talks in like platitudes now. He's like the Kanye of the NFL he says weird

things. But it's all like inspirational stuff that you find on like a quote like on a poster you're like the horse is at the stable I'm ready to run. Yeah the best thing he's ever done is like lick his like W that's like he just W That's like the most iconic one in my head that he's but it's a negative one everyone know I know he got that out of his system and now he does only bangers straight bangers Like this Sean Watson went down with the killis He's like I see how hard he fights every day. I'm here for him. I'm going to back him. He's like it's another hurdle another difficulty in his life that he's got to get over. I go I don't think the

sexual assault things enough. It's enough. It was like I think it was they did like the Dishon Watson counter of like how many lawsuits he settled versus touchdowns he's thrown. Was that the thing that you said too? That's yeah, that's. That's so funny, because it's definitely like way higher. He definitely has a lot. In the lawsuits department, yeah. Well, also, I mean, they've done a few of those, like everything they did.

Russell Wilson, when he was with Denver and he was stinking it up. So how many bathrooms does he have in his house per touchdowns? Because he has 13 bathrooms in his house. Port per touchdowns because he has 13 bathrooms. For one. He can shit all day. How many bedrooms? I don't know, but they did bathrooms like that. So Wilson still has more bathrooms. That's so funny. That's really funny.

But how is the fantasy team doing? I got I got I got dicked. I've tried to adjust my lineup yesterday when I was at the game and for whatever reason I didn't have service. So I have no tight end. Um, both my tight ends are on a buy. Um, and then all my other players I didn't swap in cause they were all on buys. So, um, I'm going to lose.

I have three players out. I completely forgot about fantasy football. That's how bad my teams are doing. So I'll lose lose. I have three players out. I completely forgot about fantasy football That's how bad my teams are doing so I'll lose again in my league I don't want to be losing in because there's a punishment so at this point I'm just hoping I'm not the worst of the worst But I'm playing spoiler again because Marshall's what top five and I think I'm beating Mars Yeah, I think you are I think you're gonna if I'm gonna if I have like three or four top five wins I feel like I get an automatic bid to the play on you do not

Seven game losing streak I want to remember the beginning you're like so Cuskies team is absolute dogshit Was you might be the worst team in the league now outside of whoever's not playing? Well, she won this week. She has 150 points this week. Holy shit. I am...oh shit. No, we're gonna be tied. Imagine losing to someone who's not playing. Here's the problem though, is I have almost more points for than...

I have at least top five teams points for. I don't. I don't think I get above 70 most weeks. Sarah's got 930 points. There are are people and you're gonna be tied with her There are people on my team I've never heard of Yeah, it's just one of those years where you know, I get the injury bug a lot fuck you John you're in first place now Yeah, it's why he keeps bringing it up because yeah, no you had a good week. Go I have a zero rock chance to make it with the playoffs What's mine what's mine?

One percent fuck yes got a chance it could change what happened yeah, it could we could get it on a good slide Good Judd also has only four teams in the playoffs Hey, dude. It was four last time I checked. I'm down 18 in my other league too and I need Lamar to get at least 18 points. That's doable. Yep, I think so too. That's why I'm excited about it.

What are you talking about, four teams in the playoffs? That's right, now he's a little nervous. What is it? what is it? Oh yeah, only four teams. Yeah. You want me to change that to six? If you change it to six, do I have a chance? My percentage goes from one to two.

Yours goes from zero to zero. Zero to maybe one. I can change it to six. I mean, you're still not gonna. No, I won't. But. So, it's that time of year, Thanksgiving. This will come out on Thanksgiving.

And I don't know if we're gonna say, are we gonna say people were thankful for it all? Sure, if you want. Well, no, in your game, because I'm just gonna lead it. I think I'm very thankful for my mother, I think as we all are. She has given us some wonderful things.

As we are thankful for all our mothers. Yes. My mom dropped off some food for us, my dad and I, because we got back from hunting and I didn't have time to cook. But she also dropped off gifts for us. Yeah. You really feel bad for all the nasty things

you've said about her. You have to say one nasty thing about her. The first one, I think she messed up a little bit, but the first one I believe is for Jack, and she goes, I think he would like some yellow snow. snow oh that's so nice of her yeah I don't know why this is cotton candy banana flavored whole things then Judd and the spirit of Christmas has the Christmas version of twin snakes but sweet and sour reindeer ooh that's fun and then there's something for all of us

because I couldn't get my own personal gift other than the gift of life she gave me. That's a good gift. Yeah, it's a great gift. And we're going to do a little taste test. So we've heard of Sour Punch straws, correct? Yes. Well this one is called Pickle Roulette. Fuck that.

So there is green apple, lemon, lime, watermelon, and pickle. And they're all the same color apparently. And we could do pickle roulette, sour punch straws. Oh, that's going to be fun. So, I'm going to open these up. I'm going to give us all one. We cannot smell.

And we're going to eat them until we get the pickle. And I'm really hoping you get the pickle. I will throw up. I'm going to get this yellow snow on deck Go ahead and explain the game while I get our games not really much of a game It's more of some talking points to have while you're at Thanksgiving Because you know when you're at Thanksgiving with your family You don't know what to talk about with these people because yours like I see him once or twice a year

So we got some talking points. I know what I'm bringing up. Bald eagle feathers. They can't smell you literally. The first rule. I wanted to see if they smelled anything special and they smell all the same. Okay.

So you want to pass it down? Yeah. Okay. I hope someone gets a pickle first try so then we're just yeah, I think there's multiple pickles in here so Three it's moaning thing to watch yours Okay, oh Not the pickle I Can't tell this pickle. I think it I got like a lemon lime or a watermelon. I think this is green apple

Oh, maybe green apple. Yeah, these are good Yeah You're on a field day. It's kind of a gummy. Yeah, I love good. I love good surface trust. Mm-hmm. All right What's your talking point? They were to straw they were like one of my like They were like one of my, like, loved them for like a concession stand. Oh yeah, the Little League diamonds growing up, the concession stand. I get like a pizza pretzel. Does it have a banana flavor?

Very minor. Oh. Cotton candy really doesn't have flavor. I'm going to be honest with you, the first initial taste of it not great One other thing big news I want to announce it yeah, I officially have been called up to the big leagues. Oh Yeah, I've been called up to the big leagues Yep, rookie of the year last year and like you know what we want you to It you deserve to start you deserve

a spot in the starting lineup you're starting I have officially been asked to be a full-time member of Judd's wiffle ball team dropped out what the fuck they're expecting a kid way to ruin it instantly I like how Jack is it looks at me so who dropped out? But yeah, yeah. He's even made the poster. You're on a poster? Yeah, it's me as Lola Bunny.

That's sick, though. He's in the corner, but he is. He's there. Three, two, one. Ooh, watermelon. Watermelon. I feel like even if we get a pickle it's not gonna be bad Well, we're gonna know if we're near the pickle because someone's gonna get a hint of it from one of those straws are

Attached to that's true. Maybe I don't know yeah So far. I'm pretty happy here's a here's a What is the most adventurous dish you've ever seen brought to Thanksgiving? Mmm. What did somebody bring that you're like, what the hell? Oh, oh fuck. It just, I just got it.

It was Friendsgiving at Rachel's. And I'm sorry, Cammie, but she brought cranberry salsa. Was it good? Didn't try it. It was in like the shape of a dog or something like that. I don't know, on a block of cream cheese. It just looked like shredded up, it looked like a lot of red cabbage, finely diced,

and just like fluorescent red. And I look at her and go, what is this? It's cranberry salsa. I don't think you can make that into a salsa. I bet it was good. Mango salsa. I didn't touch it. But I thought that one was the most interesting one

I've seen. Jack? My wife's dad always has some interesting stuff that he just has in his fridge. Like he always, without fail, has quail eggs. So typically, I'll get bullied into having a quail egg. I never had one, are they good? It's just like a regular hard boiled egg.

It's pretty much the same thing. Nothing special. One time my cousin sculpted a turkey out of butter. That's cool. That's fun. It sat in the middle of the table because no one wanted to touch it. It was too inactive. Yeah, like no one wanted to touch it.

It was like, oh, it's. Was it a like a. It was a small one. Sat in the middle of table because no one wanted to touch it Was it a like a small feather turkey or was it like a Like it was fanning. Oh, okay, so it wasn't like I'm picturing like he just basically made this like Turkey carcass, but no he made like one that you've cooked. Yeah That's what I would do. Do you guys do the the turkey as is or you do the spatchcock method? What the fuck's spatch where you cut off the spine break its chest bone and then cook it like that I'm gonna take your I don't spatchcock anything. Yeah, I spatchcock the turkey. Yeah, it cuts the That's a good question Who's the MVP the turkey or the side dishes?

Side dishes. Side dishes. Fair enough. Fair enough. Yeah, side dishes all the way. I'm not a huge turkey guy. I'm also not. That's because the turkey always sucks.

I'm also not a huge eater at Thanksgiving. Everyone gets seconds and I need so many. I'm like, dude, that's just going to make you sleepy. Well, it's also because the sides are all basically bread-based. So you're having just carbs. Like half your plate. Potatoes, stuffing. Mac and cheese, rolls.

Sometimes you have a big enough family, it's regular potatoes, sweet potatoes. Wishbone that for me. What's the longest? 3, 2, 1. That's pickle. Is it? Yep. You're lucky.

I am lucky. It's also, again, not bad. That's why I'm wondering. I might have actually got it. Well, there might be more pickle in here, but at least we know there's a pickle. Okay, continue. Yeah, I wonder how you make sure

that you have pickles in there. Yeah. All right, one Thanksgiving dish for the rest of your life. What are you doing? Dressing. Dressing? So stuffing. We had that conversation,

it's dressing is stuffing, right? Same thing, but I think it's made differently. My mom's dressing is the best. She puts sausage in it. She cooks it underneath the turkey so it's not dry. Yeah. It's like it's mashed potatoes, and she also puts pieces of turkey in it too.

So it's just like this big conglomerate, but it's got just delicious flavor, and it's so moist. Oh my god, I could eat that every day of my life. I made homemade gravy for the first time out delicious flavor and it's so moist. Oh my God, I could eat that every day of my life. It's so good. I made gravy for the first time out of the drippings from the turkey for Rachel's friends giving and that was so good. That was good.

I would probably go, and this might be another thing on the side dish, I mean mac and cheese, big pasta guy. But also, I love some corn. I will corn's good like just Regular corn like on the cob. Yeah Usually we we get corn in the cob and we'll cut it off the cob and freeze it and then we'll have it for Thanksgiving nice. That's nice. That's good. I think mine would be my mom's cornbread Soufflé thing it's be my mom's cornbread souffle thing. Ooh, that's gonna be so good.

So good. It's so bad for you, but it's so good, it's so easy to make, and it's just like, it's like unique to our family, but I slowly learned other families do it. But it'd probably be my favorite dish that we have each year. And slowly becoming the turkey,

ever since we started spatchcocking it, and we wet brine it, and then we smoke it. It is, I have gotten a few compliments from multiple people that it's the best turkey they've ever had in their entire life. You wet brine it and then you spatch cock it. No you spatch cock it then you wet brine it. Get it together. You get very wet brine it. I'm going to plant an eagle feather on you. Also about the aftertaste, about the big with it. That's what they don't tell you

Because that is not a good aftertaste straw straw me I Read Say lemon lime this is going safe. I think this is their basic flavor. I just got green apple maybe You're really trying to figure out that flavor right now Can I try it can I try it I Think this pickle or just a pickle is still in my mouth. I think that like some of the flavors aren't strong enough where it could be like it does kind of taste pickle. Or pickle is still in my mouth that I can't taste anything else. No that's pickle. Yeah. God damn it. Twice in a row! What's with this?

Yeah, that's pickle. Really, really not that bad. No, not that bad. Just wait for the aftertaste. Have fun dealing with that bad boy. What's one tradition around Thanksgiving that you never want to skip? We're... I don't think I have a whole... I mean, probably just Christmas decorating the day after, or like once dinner's over.

That's fun because then it really just opens up the door for just festivities. Like nonstop. It is the kickoff too. Like, it is, that is the holiday season starts Thanksgiving. Yeah, but I don't think I have a Thanksgiving tradition. I think Thanksgiving's always like, hey, when are you free for dinner? Yeah, we really don't think I have a Thanksgiving tradition. I think Thanksgiving's always like, hey, when are you free for dinner? Yeah, we really don't have one either.

We were talking about this before you got here, but we used to do a lot more when we were younger, and so we would beg our parents and the older cousins to play football with us, and if we were still doing that, I would say that's probably what I wanna do, is the football, the food is always fun. I do all the cooking now, so I enjoy that. But there's no big tradition we have.

I think I would just want a big get together. Yeah, big get together's fun. Blackout Wednesday used to be fun, but it's not tradition anymore. And then I guess to- I can't keep doing that anymore, my body will break down. Piggyback off your Christmas thing.

Every Black Friday for the last, I don't know, 10, 12 years, my mom and I have gone Black Friday shopping. But our version of it, we're not door busting anything like the psychos at Walmart at 11. We're just going around and checking deals. Yeah, like go, like hey, I used to kind of pick out my presents and then I would forget about them, which was kind of cool, and then we'd just pick out stuff

for my dad and my brothers. Nice. What about you? I'd say either the games Or just watching football like the games is like watching football or like you play The games like we play afterwards after the dude you are a game guy What's your favorite game? Oh? I mean my family bridge usually switched up, but there's this game we used to play we don't play anymore My aunt used to bring it

And it was called pit And it's all about the grain system like exchanging grains But basically you're you're trying to trade cards to people and Face down you're like I have to I have to it but face down, you're like, I have two, I have two, but it's like a stock market, I have two, I have two, so you have to find someone else who has two, and it has to be a pair of something, or it could be a wild, and there's one wild that's bad,

one wild is good. This is like the Great Depression settlers of Catan. So I have two, I have two, so they can slide you two pairs, and then you try to get a full hand of just one sort of grain. Gotcha. And then once you got it, then you hit the bell.

And it would go, moo! No, hit the bell and you're good. But if you had the bull, that means that you- Where'd the bull come from? Moo! The two wilds are a bull and a bear. Oh. So you want the bull, you don't want the bear. Okay. I didn't follow any of that, a bull and a bear. Oh, so you want the bull you want the bull you don't want the bear

Okay, I didn't follow any of that. But here's a straw. Yeah I'm be honest. I Hate card games. I love I'm not a huge card game person. I'm not a big Board game person. I my attention span or my interest for it dies So quickly I'm a good connect four for a little bit, can do that. So you don't like thinking too much. No. You just like going, this is my color.

Exactly. All right, straw. I'm safe. Please, please, please. No, we're safe. No, I'm safe. I'm safe. Maybe there's only two pickles.

Ah, I'm back. I'm back, we're safe. No, I'm safe. Maybe there's only two pickles All right, I'm back no pickle training. Yeah Um, I was really hoping to go three in a row. You can't have a normal Thanksgiving dinner Well, we're having Thanksgiving. What would you make on the menu? Can make turkey can make all the things. What would you make? Oh, that's a good question Like if we had to create our own alternate universe Thanksgiving, I think safe and you go chicken. Chicken's like a deep fried chicken. Yeah.

You can give me, or just some big, I think just go Italian. Big Italian, like pasta, meatballs. Get some garlic bread, maybe some pizza. Italian, big Italian, like pasta, meatballs, get some garlic bread, maybe some pizza, make some like stone fire pizzas, breadsticks. You could do a lot of fun stuff. I think instead of Italian, you do,

so Thanksgiving's like a day, like everyone's together thankful, you do kind of like a potluck of different cultures. So you have like, everyone is assigned a different cuisine. So like, all right, got to bring something Italian something Mediterranean Chinese food Stuff like that and so everyone's gotta bring something and you're designated like the main thing I think chicken safe because you could probably throw chicken to just about everything. Yeah, I like that

What do you think I would yeah, I like I like your idea pasta I mean the roasted chicken was gonna be my first thought and then you talked maybe like some pizzas Having like a bunch of pizzas it like almost a buffet style of pizzas So like pizzas in there just go to CC's or something like that or Pizza Hut back in the day used to have Back in high school. I was part of the online so we would would go on we'd have We couldn't do it on Friday because we get a game, but we would go fat fuck Thursdays And we'd find a different like all you can eat buffet in the city that we were in

So it was like we would just go and how is like 13 pizzas at Pizza Ranch or like go to like who hot and just Like get like eight helpings of what just like meat noodles It was like so much fun But I never went to a big buffet style pizza place because Pizza Hut didn't do it like as I grew up Yeah, so I was like this is like probably the best thing I've ever seen in my entire life Just loading up basically on frozen pizzas. Yeah Yeah, you're gonna used to... You ever go to a dessert pizza? Yeah. It was so good. You ever go to, what is it, Stonefire Pizza?

Something like that? Where they had the games on one side, all you can eat pizza... Oh, that was... it was like Chuck E. Cheese on Crack and it was All the food you can think of that a dessert bar... you're 12 years old and your mom's like, hey Go play your games. Here's 20 bucks worth of tokens and and then you can eat whatever you want, whenever you want. You can just go back and forth, and they have movies playing.

I don't know if they're still in business, but that was that. Sounds like that's a winning combination. Yeah, it's like a much younger Dave and Buster's kind of thing. But we did the same thing, kind of. Our whole team, whether it was away or home games, I'm not sure, we would have pasta night before. And it was Thursday night and Someone would cater or we would cater the same Italian restaurant you get red pasta or white pasta garlic bread

Chocolate milk or white milk and then they had just a table of desserts and we'd load up on that. That was so fun Or we got to know straw yeah There's a hair on that That's how they know it's a pickle one It's an eagle feather Shave please safe camera Okay, well there's two left so you guys can have the last two all right here's another scenario now what you're thankful for what is one

thing this past year that is a big difference in your life do we have to be like savvy and emotional I think just getting married that was a big one. Yeah I would say that's a good answer. That's a good answer. Family Feud star. Good answer. Good answer. Good luck guys.

Yeah we're gonna top that one. I don't know. Life goals that have happened. I mean go ahead open it. You go first. What do you got? Me? I think traveling. I got, I'm kind of piggybacking on the wedding train. I got to go to Nashville and actually pigeon forage and go to my buddy married that was a blast I saw people that I haven't seen in years in years so it was good to get everyone together and cross another state off my bucket list nice cool yeah I don't I had a few people get married congrats um didn't change my life um not to go off your train

I'll go podcast stuff. We had, whether we think about it, we got hired and fired in the same year. Which is pretty, I think it gave us a sense of legitimacy to a lot of people that has given us a lot of opportunity to do some things. Whether they've worked out or not and things coming up in the future,

it has given the door to a few extra things, which is nice. I feel like I'm not completely wasting my time down here. In my basement. Yeah, but I mean for me, because I've done this for two and a half years now, three, and to go from my mom's garage to potentially being at the improv is pretty fucking cool. Yeah. It fucking cool.

Yeah. Oh yeah, congrats on getting married, Chad. Do you think the marathons or the turkey trots are acceptable Thanksgiving Day activities? No, she tried to sign me up for it. We have shit to do. Why are we getting up early and in the cold? Rachel said she wants to have that family does like the the turkey trot. She's like it's a 5k. I go no no no no we'll play a football game. That's what I want to do.

That's where we get our steps in. You get anywhere from a four-year-old who can talk up until the drunk uncle just absolutely laying people out that is your physical activity Yeah, I think the I think the trot who wants to get up thing freezer. I know you like to go for I would do it. Yeah, I would do it for sure now. It's the only part is I don't like the cold Yeah, so sometimes it's very cold in the morning. Yeah, I agree. So we're very similar on our holiday opinions. Yeah. I think turkey trot. Well, I didn't grow up in a family that did it. No. If you grow up in a family that does it, like typically you're like, this is a fun tradition. But I did it a couple times with her family. Didn't want to do it. Which one do you want? The thick one or the skinny one? I mean this one.

All right, that one's, this one's definitely pickle then. then I'm gonna zoom in on every time you take a bite of that straw because it's interesting No, you gotta try the pickle you have to take one bite. I got all three. Oh, yeah, you did. You got all of them. You've got to take one bite, one tiny bite. It's the aftertaste for me. Just take one bite. Please? For me?

No way, dude. I just had so many good, delicious flavors. To end it on that one would suck. God, yeah, it does. I knew it as soon as you grabbed that one. I was like, that one's definitely gonna be a pickle. All right. All right.

If you can invite anyone, Debra Live to Thanksgiving dinner, who would it be? Matthew McConaughey, I think. He could just be the most interesting person. He'd bring some fun food, maybe some weed, and because he could probably sound convincing to anyone Anyone where they are politically on your family's probably gonna get convinced by Matthew McConaughey to smoke a little bit It's gonna be an interesting Thanksgiving. There's my kind of hey smoke weed. Yeah. Oh god. Yeah

He does strike me as someone who's like, yeah, I don't use deodorant. Yeah. Who told you he smells? Someone from Austin. Oh, really? Also, he does strike me as someone who's like got a signature scent, like cologne-wise, like kind of put together. Yeah, but I think he just like runs constant, like goes morning till night just like living

off of like life and smoking and you know I'm doesn't have time to shower having showered in dates. I'm sure he's shot Yeah, maybe just got a heavy scent. Maybe just a sweater. That could be you never know. Who are you guys inviting? I don't know He might bring some Texas barbecue too that would be a good that would be a good alternate Thanksgiving is Texas barbecue. I'm trying to think of who I would have fun with. There's Trump. I thought about that because I think that'd be really funny. Kamala.

It'd be really funny because he would just come with so much McDonald's. I would invite Trump especially if we had McDonald's for this. Yeah, that's not bad. Biggest McDonald's fast food spread. What's your go-to, I haven't got McDonald's like a lunch item in forever. What would be your like go-to order? Just give me the classic double quarter pound with cheese large fry die coke see I've never had a quarter pounder

I was always a big mac person. I just the big mac thing is that it's the sauce But like I've learned to do the quarter pounder or I've heard and then just asked to do some Big Mac sauce on it Yeah, yeah, that wouldn't be bad. You don't have that extra bun That's true. Sometimes I like the extra bun. I wasn't a big Big Mac person and I haven't been a McDonald's in a long time but My wife's dad comes and like always has like gifts for her like hey open this up and Did I tell you this already? Yeah, where it's the McDonald's that only works it only works up in our home. Yeah, like he got he didn't have anything to give me

So he was like, oh, I'll go to my car and see what's in my glove box And it was like he won a free Big Mac for he won a year supply of Big Macs Which is a free Big Mac every week. I didn't I didn't tell you this But when you told us that story the next week I watched I was watching a Parks and Rec episode and it's when Leslie and Ben go to Hawaii for their honeymoon they get everyone the most thoughtful gifts and then Jerry they're like oh we got you airplane air earbuds and some packing peanuts. And then he's like, Oh, the same thing you got me last year. That's so funny. So yeah, it was very much like half ass, like, Oh,

this is it. And I was like, sweet, I can have this for lunch. And then I went to the drive through was about to order, looked at it only local, but yeah. Uh, for me me I probably Gordon Ramsay that oh yeah Yeah, so the chef is a good one. Would you make him cook though? He's your guest and you'd make him cook Yeah, but we'd all be watching nobody's sitting Yeah, and and like having Gordon just go wild in the kitchen. You're watching him cook Yeah, and like and like he's talking about the meal like you know okay okay um the mythical kitchen guys when they do like they're like last meal stuff yeah who's that Rhett and Link yeah but like the

last meal is something completely different I know exactly what the go kitchen right yeah yeah but when they do all their crazy combinations of things, I would like that. Because I would like to have Thanksgiving-themed, but not Thanksgiving. Yeah. Have you thought about your last meal stuff? No, not really.

I've thought about it a little bit. Yeah. Well, because I've watched a few of those episodes, and I'm like, all right, what would mind me? And they have like, they go all out with stuff. They like flash it in. There's like so much stuff there Yeah, I would get and this pasta from Olive Garden. Good luck killing me and this

Another place this guy won't stop eating. He hasn't slept. He just keeps pushing it off soup salad breadsticks That's the whole bit say what get another one he's just sitting there for days you can't kill the guy just wants more cheese you end up killing the cheese guy just Alright what else we got Well, I wonder like for last for typically like last moves you go like I have, they do like, okay I'm gonna have Little Caesar's Pizza, a Big Mac, two Dr. Peppers. And it's like, there's someone that's going around and picking it up. He just thinks, I've ordered Uber Eats

and that shit's cold. And there's no way some cop that is going and picking up your last meal gives a fuck if it's hot or cold. Exactly. And also like, hey I want steak and mashed potatoes. You're getting whatever steaks in that prison and the powdered mashed potatoes, probably. All right.

So the last one is, would you rather fight one turkey sized bear or a hundred bear sized turkeys? One turkey size, one turkey turkey size bear you're telling me one bear that's yay high or giant fucking turkey like a hundred of them that is the easiest answer ever crazy dude that's insane the legitimately dinosaur sized turkeys I think if you gave me the question one bear or one bear sized turkey I'd probably pick the bear. I still pick the turkey says bear. I would not fight a bear sized turkey those things got talons They got they got beaks you could and they can fly

He's an ugly animal. They're scary Can you just imagine being just murdered? Well, you keep getting hit in the face with their weird nutsacky looking chins and faces? But imagine, imagine you did kill it, you could keep those feathers. You could. That's a nice trophy. You could keep those feathers. That would be a sick headdress.

It would. I don't know if you can do that anymore. Yeah you can. I don't know if you can. Yeah you can. You totally can do it. How much, how much brown paint would you put on his face? Yeah how much, how much do you want to bet?

No. Will you wear, next next episode one of those? Turkey hats thanks. I wear a turkey hat. Okay. No no with all the feathers The headdress yeah, no I'm not talking about those addresses. I'm talking about my own headdress. I'll make it I make you cool. Is that better or worse? Cuz they're Native Americans are the only people that had headdresses dude. I know but like you know where people my Swedish ancestors also did What were they out of though?

Probably turkey feathers okay, but I don't know if they have turkeys in Sweden, but most likely the teeth of their enemies Meatballs they did a bunch of IKEA furniture All the extra parts you don't know where they go. I couldn't read the diagram. Well, that'll be a good Thanksgiving. I'm excited for it. This is the first year I haven't done a Friendsgiving, really ever.

It's my first one, and it was incredible. The food potentially rivaled what I normally have. Oh yeah? The first time I ever had a sweet potato casserole with the marshmallows on top. Oh, you like that? Yeah, I tried it, and usually I'm not, like I don't throw marshmallows on my food.

I'm not a big marshmallow, like a s'more. I could do a marshmallow. Marshmallow and like ice cream and what people do, no, I'm not a big marshmallow person. They did the marshmallows on the sweet potatoes. I was like, this is actually really good. And immediately she goes, don't ask me what's in it. I'm like, do you not know?

She goes, no, you'll have a heart attack when I list the ingredients off. I go, yeah, probably. It's the sweetest thing ever. I'm like, you could, now I understand sweet potato pie, because I've never had it. It's basically like pumpkin pie. Does it shut your mouth? I had a decent pumpkin pie, and I'm not had it. It's basically pumpkin pie. Does it shut your mouth?

I had a decent pumpkin pie, and I'm not a good, I'm not a big pumpkin pie person. Pumpkin pie. I'm not a, remember that? Oh, I do. The video came up on my phone the other day. Shut nut. We've been talking about it the entire time,

and now one of you said pumpkin pie. Pumpkin pie. Pumpkin pie. Now we did. Way you've opened the floodgates. We just need something new. Now it's eagle feathers. I'm sure if you didn't say all those horrendous things that you do to wildlife individuals people indigenous people turkeys turkeys bear-sized turkeys turkey-sized bears yeah I saw a video on Tickety-Tock whether it was last night or this morning I'm not sure and it's not a good thing to say but I'm sure if you didn't say all those things that you do to wildlife is bear-sized turkeys, turkey-sized bears. I saw a video on Tickety Talk,

whether it was last night or this morning, I'm not sure. And this lady on a farm, she rescued or adopted the turkeys that are bred specifically for Thanksgiving. I don't know if it's just like a triggering title or something like that just to get people to watch. Just giant turkeys. I'm gonna think twice about you know what's on my table things Thanksgiving because these turkeys just want to be your best friend and want hugs all the time I go

I don't know if they do I don't think they do I think you're just a lot bigger than that turkey and hugging it whenever Turkeys they also look like a like a hairless cat. yeah, they're kind of spooky looking have you ever owned a turkey Not own. I've hunted turkeys. I've Put me put I saw so many turkeys this this weekend. Yeah, I had to My tree, and I wasn't thrilled with it. They're so loud You can't you can't hear the pit a pet of the deer because you just hear Can you make a three years she both

her time can i get a town the it I'm horny! Happy Thanksgiving, I think we're done.