Fear& - Addressing The Rumors...| Fear&

Episode Date: April 15, 2024

🎧 AUDIO PLATFORMS 🎧  https://linktr.ee/fearand00:00:00 - Austin Show saves the day00:04:04 - Hasan is friends with total jerks00:07:40 - can you imagine austins ego death00:09:30 - k, all day00:11:50 - willneff the shaman (editor note, marche a great shaman too, shoutout) 00:13:20 - party sponsor by weed00:17:00 - austin is driving this episode (austin cant drive)00:19:50 - twitchcon 2019 qt was fighting demons00:23:30 - let billy rave brains live his life 00:26:10 - austin's rally at the four seasons 00:30:21 - the abbey needs to be held accountable00:35:05 - the podcast tries to finish a story00:38:11 - new tiktok trend incel men00:38:57 - snopes fact check: true00:38:58 - new tiktok trend incel men (drizzle drizzle)00:42:57 - date men, other stuff with women 00:45:20 - why do my eyes hurt (hasan photo or eclipse)00:48:55 - 700 million of lost revenue thanks to the moon00:50:52 - joker trailer dropped, what are these topics00:53:40 - hasan doesnt engage in friendship00:56:20 - the end of fear&00:58:07 - gay Kuwait is about to be a movie#hasanabi #qtcinderella #shorts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Calling all sellers, Salesforce is hiring account executives to join us on the cutting edge of technology. Here, innovation isn't a buzzword. It's a way of life. You'll be solving customer challenges faster with agents, winning with purpose, and showing the world what AI was meant to be. Let's create the agent-first future together. Head to salesforce.com slash careers to learn more. Playoff football is here with BetMGM. And as an official sportsbook partner of the NFL, BetMGM is the best place to fuel your football fandom on every game day

with a variety of exciting features. BetMGM offers you plenty of seamless ways to jump straight onto the gridiron and to embrace peak sports action. Visit BetMGM.com for terms and conditions. Must be 19 years of age or older. Ontario only. Please gamble responsibly. Gambling problem?

For free assistance, call the Connex Ontario helpline at 1-866-531-2600. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. ladies and gentlemen welcome to another episode of the fear and podcasts with your favorite host happy monday um the theme of today's episode is Austin's show saves the day. Absolutely not. I made the decision, or I, with my gracious co-host, accepted the idea that we would film today on Thursday. And I thought, oh, my God, Austin, you're being selfish. That's what I thought originally.

I thought, oh, my God, you're such, Austin, you're being selfish. That's what I thought originally. I thought, oh my God, you're such an asshole. You're being selfish. Turns out Will is going to be going to Coachella this weekend. Before we get to that part. The only way we could have filmed with all of us together was at this moment. Not true. I'm a hero. Austin Show saves the day.

That's not true because the three of us are going to Coachella together. Yes. We were going to do a Coachella episode and you denied it. With the three of us. To the fan base. What? We were going to go to Coachella. Cutie, you were going to Coachella?

Yes. I thought it would be fun with everyone. We talked outside during gaming. It's driving distance. It's not like everybody drives to Coachella. You're going to have the popular musical artist Channel Trace on. He's performing with Jungle. He's a friend oface on We're all staying together in the same house No shut up Cutie

This is a lie There's no way Cutie is going to Coachella Yes she is Will can't even keep a straight face Will would be so annoyed with Cutie He would just leave her Cutie's not going specifically for the musical acts. She's going because she cares about the podcast.

She's going to go bake. She's going to go bake. Yes. What does that mean? She's going. The house has a nice kitchen. Will, go get me a free ticket. Really?

Cutie is going to Coachella specifically because we're going to shoot podcasts when we're out there. For the sake of the record, I did line up a ticket for you and you if you did want to go. By the way. And you would have done it if I was in town, right? No, no. We're doing it. We are going regardless. And Troye Sivan is going to be on.

Oh, come on. Yeah. No. I'm sorry. There's no way. Did you want to be on that episode? I would have loved to be on the episode, but I'm busy this weekend. I'm with Pride.

I'm exploring. The fucked up thing is if he wasn't going on the Pride World Tour, he'd probably actually come to Coachella. I would. I would. But you know what Pride World Tour, he'd probably actually come to Coachella. I would. But you know what? Next year, I'm going to come to Coachella with you. Yeah. Dude, the lineup this year, there's not a bunch of artists I want to see,

but there's like five that I must see. Sabrina Carpenter. No. No doubt. No doubt? No doubt. Oh, that's crazy. Reunion.

I didn't know that. That's fun. And there's also, bro, oh, my god jamie xx daphne and floating points back to back to back that's crazy i have i don't even none of this registers as music are you are you choppering into coachella this year no no that was ec oh i'm getting confused no yeah there's so many festivals i don't think you can you chopper in into Coachella? Probably. You can chop into the Coachella Valley. We're staying right next to the venue. Okay, that was a little too synchronized

that you guys were going to film a Coachella episode. I actually kind of believe it was going to happen. I pitched him on it. Yeah. How did I not get this word? He told me to go fuck myself. He used to come to Coachella. Okay, so it wasn't going to happen.

I used to go to Coachella all the time. He used to come to Coachella and be fun, and then I don't know what happened to him. I'm going to tell you. He started developing arthritis. It's called being 30 plus years old. Last time I went to Coachella was when I was 30. He's also 30 plus years old. The headlining act is no doubt

everybody's going to be over 30. I know, but as a 30 plus year old man, I don't like being in the desert. You have to be 30 to afford a ticket to a coachella that is also true which is kind of funny because like back in the day when i used to go to coachella i was broke as hell and i only went because like i would get sponsored by like forever 21 one year i went with a forever 21 oh can i oh i can tell you guys a story this is good this is the last time i

went to coachella okay we did a year of podcasting, which made me X amount of money, which we spent on a house. When I got to that house, this guy has a total piece of shit friend. I love him, but he's a total... It's so true. Hasan attracts total pieces of shit because he's kind of a total piece of shit.

No, I'm not. No, no. I attract total pieces of shit because I'm a nice guy, and sometimes I get taken advantage of as a nice guy. Yeah, it's true. So, so anyway, I'm very, I use a year of my podcast money a year, which was $5, which was, no, it was not like it was too Rothy shoes.

It was definitely the shoes. It was definitely low for like a year of podcast to sell the shoes. We definitely got cooked. No, my dad still wears those shoes. Oh, okay. We definitely got cooked. But listen to this. These two guys, him and this friend who's a total piece of shit, invited two girls.

I did not. Who are creators. They came and stayed in the house. They took the other master bedroom. Caroline and I slept in a bunk bed. Yeah, it was bullshit. On top of one another it had a shared bathroom with these two random girls they locked us out of the bathroom we had to use the house bathroom and at the end i was like i don't know who these girls are they're

probably hasan and this whole piece of shit's friends i find out hasan doesn't know them and they didn't pay any money they stayed in the the house for free. Oh, they freeloaded. And that's not true. Yes, they had a master bedroom. We stayed in a fucking bunk bed. Can I say something? That part is not technically true because they felt bad because the total piece of shit said they could have stayed for free. So they paid.

Total piece of shit never did. Total piece of shit never paid? No. No, we didn't. He put our names on all of the advertising promo lists. So there was literally pallets of free stuff being dropped off at our house. So much of which that I still have some of the alcohol from this

fucking event. Yeah. There was a lot of like, but it wasn't like because he put us on in my yeah name on promo lists it wasn't like cool stuff it was like it was like would you like to try honey bee laced thc infused liquid cocaine with like yeah whiskey oh it was all like that kind of stuff it would be like and it was like the peak of like I guess it was like kind of crypto era too So it would be like crypto style fucking

Weird drinks They don't have monkeys on them Weird drinks like bored ape drinks And I still had a good time Of course you always have a good time I had a great time And now he's refusing to go with me again Now that I don't know the house isn't full with random women

And total pieces of shit No that has nothing to do with that where are you going to stay now not in a fucking bunk bed I'll tell you that much I did not enjoy that experience for obvious reasons some of which you just mentioned

and also because like I don't do a lot of drugs I only do mushrooms for the most part shiitake mushrooms totally legal totally cool um and like sometimes you're allowed to say psilocybin now it's decriminalized oh yeah true i i do okay like i like mushrooms that's fucking arrest me officer sorry wow take me away take me to jail take me to fucking jail right now. Typical leftist. Anyway, I like mushrooms. I like them more than I like weed.

I don't do MDMA or ecstasy or anything anymore. I've never done it. Never done it. Legally, it's illegal. I'm going to come back from Coachella a new man. You say that after every... Well, that's because I experience ego death at every festival i go to what is ego death where you're so out in the ether that the id yourself uh ceases to exist

i needed we could never we need to do no no no no you could be fine if i had enough twinks around you you'd thrive do you think so yeah just throw a bunch You would be a papered-up powerhouse on that. He's a baby, so a little bit of alcohol would do him in anyway. He'd have the time of his life. Sexy twinks and alcohol, he's set. That is true. I could probably give you a children's Tylenol, and he'd be like, is it kicking in? You've got to feel amazing.

Yeah. Look at my abs! I'm a simple man. I think we need to do drugs, cutie I think we do Can I say something definitive? You're pretty well adjusted She should absolutely start doing drugs

Honestly, I don't know It could go either direction Her therapist is bullshit and says like, if you smoke weed one time you're going to turn into a serial killer or some shit like that. Is your therapist Mormon? Low key.

Low key. By the way, this is humor. I need to state something. This is humor. Listen to your therapist. Please listen to your therapist. This is humor. I don't want to see the comment section like, well, we're dying.

People often think that therapists can't be dumb bitches. Let cuties speak. And some of them can't. I'm trying to win over the cutie. You're so brave. Yeah. They are out for blood. No, they were.

They were annihilating all the men in the comments. And, you know, it just further perpetuates that men are oppressed. Yeah. Men are oppressed. Go ahead. Get them guys. What were you going to say? I have nothing to say besides get.

No, come on. You were going to say something about your therapist and drugs. No come on you were gonna say something about your therapist and drugs no you were gonna say something about drugs yeah therapist threats cutie has two options here like either she gets the the fucking special ketamine therapy that they only give to like war criminals you know what i mean that have like war criminals at marsh every friday what are we talking about okay but that's not therapy this is him having a good time he has to come down somehow to go to sleep the therapy element the therapy element of it is just so that we can convince the government that you can take these awesome drugs well the reason why i mentioned is because it is like for like specific types of post-traumatic stress disorder they use it on yes that same thing

with mdma like i was dude i this is this is a funny story back back when i used to do okay political documentary back in the day one of the first stories i did was using drugs to treat different like ailments and we went to a like a psychotherapist and he was telling us how he's using mdma to treat advanced um post uh post-traumatic post-traumatic stress yeah and um intense forms of like uh basically just like depression and stuff like this yeah and when the camera turned off i was like so how do you actually feel about this and he was like oh it's awesome i do a lot of drugs in my personal life i was like really he's like i'm on a pretty strong cocktail right now and i was like yeah really he's like have you checked in on him he's dead and he basically said there's like kind of a whole secret world

of like professionals dosing themselves yeah they do they there there was a there was a meta in a little like in the silicon valley go go go culture there was a meta for a little bit about like micro dosing lsd if you remember and i know a lot of people micro dose mushrooms obviously but like my just like i said i like mushrooms i think mushrooms are fucking dope it feels good i've unironically never had a bad time on mushrooms which is kind of crazy and i've done a decent amount of mushrooms yeah you have i can barely handle minoxidil no no mushrooms are mushrooms are awesome like the way i can feel my hair growing no like don't do it don't do it to the biblical amount that he gives you because he will shove like this is this is okay this is absolute slander because there are so many people

that have come to me as a shaman no he's a very good sherpa and i have and i have taken them to the promised land step by step in fact there have been multiple times with creators who have asked me to get them high and they go will i'm not very high and i'm like trust the process and i gradually get them there by incrementally giving them more drugs okay to be fair i've known i've known this man for for a decade plus myself i'm not careful with my own brain. He also was very wild back in the day. He doesn't give it like you. He knows you can handle it.

He knows you better than you know yourself. I practically need to use Rhino fucking tranks on him. I'll say it like this. I've smoked a lot of weed back in the day, especially when I first moved to California. I would get Entirely too high

Like I With edibles Like with edibles When you eat edibles For me at least like When I first started eating edibles That shit was not regulated So it was crazy

It wasn't like oh here's a gummy bear with like this many milligrams do you remember the party hit or miss okay you took me to a total piece of shit influencer party this was new year's eve one the illuminati one well the illuminati one was one of them but there was another one that you and same total piece of shit took me to an influencer one that was sponsored by weed. And it was outside. It was in the sun. It was in Calabasas. It's not a brand.

It was just sponsored by the drug. I can't even tell you what it was. I don't know what it was. There was like a lot of nice cars for no reason in the front yard. And it was just like in display. It was a beautiful home, though. At this point in our life, he is the woke bae. And I'm just some

jerk off who works at buzzfeed right so we would go places yeah we were both jerk offs but like people were really nice to him and then i was kind of the tag along anyway we're at this party but even then no no i didn't have clout either like i i had a little bit of clout because i was like low level influencer clout you know what i? It wasn't like a lot. They weren't like, but it respecting me. It felt like almost like a carnival where like there were like stations. And one of the stations was they had a dab rig. I don't know if you've ever heard of. Oh, my God.

Yeah. I had an ex-boyfriend who used to make homemade dab. Oh, my cutie. When I tell you, I was I thought I was like, Mohammed, I'm hard Bruce Lee. I can do drugs, whatever. And the guy's like, yo, we're setting people up with free dabs, dude. Like, you motherfucking drop that. And I was like, yes, I'd love to try it.

Blowtorch. Yes. Blowtorch. Like, white hot container. Lowers this super long thread. And he just goes, keep keep going and i'm like clear it clear it clear it caps it i let it out and i'm just like oh you know that clip of idris alba when he did hot ones where he's like what the fuck yeah that was me where two seconds later i was just off the face of the world

i sat in a lawn chair for the next three hours no it was like a weekend at bernie's dude i was like back in the day back in the day shit was fucked up the point is that she was so unregulated and so unrestricted and you could get like a bad batch right uh especially with like edibles because like it wasn't like this is three milligrams or whatever and i remember like just taking some edibles and having basically like life-changing paranoia yes where i had and and basically after that i was like yeah this shit sucks edibles take you on a journey. You don't control the fucking car. The car can go somewhere nice, or the car can be a crash. Because I know you and I have the same brain. Let me finish.

Mushrooms, on the other hand, are also taking you on a nice little Sunday stroll. You can go fast. You can go slow. But your hands are on the wheel. You can direct the car. That's the way I describe it to people in my experience with respect to mushrooms versus edible weed.

And ketamine, the car's a submarine. I've actually never done ketamine, so I don't know what it's like. I heard it's awesome. It's great. It's great. I used to make weed butter in a crock pot. Cook it up, weed butter in a crock pot.

Cooking up dope in a crock pot. And then you would turn it into brownies. Wait, you were literally cooking up dope in a crock pot? Is that a crock pot? There's a song about that. He's saying the lyrics, bro. That's crazy.

What do you think he just said? Do you think he just randomly strung those words together? What's the name of the song? Yeah. Did they say? My bitch is bad bougie. Oh, okay. Cooking up dope in a crock pot.

Okay. So all you have to do is you put. Remember, guys, Austin said. Sorry to cut you off, Judy. I know I'm being misogynistic. I just want to say, remember, Austin said he was going to be driving this episode. He all took over. He had all of these fucking topics ready.

Because he selfishly wants to fly to fucking Miami to do Gay Pride Miami, which, by the way, don't even understand what's going on. Gay Pride World Tour. Yeah. Gay Pride isn't until June. What the fuck are you doing? It's Autism Awareness Month. Women get one month. Gay get one month. Black get one month. What the fuck are you doing? It's Autism Awareness Month. Women get one month. Gay get one month.

Black get one month. What the fuck? Okay. And the black ones, the shortest ones. Go ahead. Yeah! 28 days! That's all you get. All you gotta do is you throw a bunch of butter in a crock pot and then a bunch of weed

in the crock pot. Like the bunch of weed in the crock pot Like the flour? Yeah. Like just the raw flour. You can even use the You can grind it I think right? No no no this is the cool thing about weed butter you can use your leftover like hashish your leftover burnt stuff. What's that called?

No no no. Hash. Hash. Hashish is hashish is op Hashish is. Opium. Hookah. Okay. Sorry, I haven't smoked weed in years. Kitty goes, yeah, I had a bad trip.

And she's like, yeah, I used to smoke the burnt resin. No, no. You can take the hash and you put all the hash in the butter. That's so much worse. That's a lot. That's the worst part of it. Why? That's the shit that gets you the most high. The keef?

Oh my god Jesus Christ you're out here killing people I didn't mean to Everyone lived And then you leave it in there for like 6 hours And then you do it through a cheese cloth So you get all the stuff out And then you just put your butter in the fridge And then you treat it like any butter in any recipe

It's dope Yeah cause THC is fat soluble We used to make firecrackers and all that i mean i know that my confectionaries weren't as good as yours but we would oh i was talented i thought about it for a while i was like should i open a weed bakery i was so good at it wait that's genius that should be your business well i'm i'm opening deco den studio remember and none of you believe in me okay businessman i'm sure you know I fucking was in. I just wanted to do a sandwich dinner for a month.

That's fine. No, I'm not talking about the Deco Den. I was shaking my head at the weed business. Why do you hate my weed business? You should absolutely do more drugs, though. A hundred percent. I maintain this. So TwitchCon... You can. Either she will become brilliant, like Salvador Dali, or she will become

Ted Bundyy nothing in between listen this is humor for the comment section but if you give me one week with you and joshua tree and just i'm wearing all sherpa stuff and we're in i would get scared like a wigwam and i could just no i'm scared center your eye your mind i could if you just let me play Crystal, Mommy, I would fix your brain. Well, I mean, as fixed as mine is, which is only suicidal depression once every few months.

What I realized is we're all fucked up. I don't know about you guys. I'm fucking fine, bro. You are not. No, you are not. You live like a fucking hermit. He walked down the stairs and I complimented his outfit You're a total piece of shit

In TwitchCon 2019 I took an edible And the whole house I stayed with a group of us I took an edible and we were watching Princess Mononoke Together And I was too high to the point your heart's racing So I start pacing

I think also that film is a complex analysis Of man versus nature with no villains. Man is a villain. No, no, no, no. I think there's meant to be no villain in that film. I think both nature and man are kind of equally at odds. All I know is I was so fucking high. She did not get that.

I don't think she got that, man. She wasn't perceiving the movie. Walking in circles around the dining table just to try to burn it off, you know, and I couldn't burn it off. That's what your mind thought. I do with my weed. I burn it off. Yeah. And then I just couldn't.

And then so I went downstairs. I was doing more laps. I went downstairs and I found pooper noodle in her bed staring at the ceiling because she was so high. And then I said, can i lay with you but i can't talk right now and she was like yeah so we just laid there silently and stared at the ceiling no what i've learned when you're really high the best way to like make you feel less high is get your heart rate up that's a good it's because you feel more you're more lucid we you

know it's serious if you're if you relaxed. You guys are always talking about like. The only way to not make yourself panic is hammer coffee, run in a circle, and start worrying about how you're going to die one day. No, no, no. Coffee is really good. It's the anecdote to weed. If you're really stoned, drink caffeine. No, it's a whole thing of asparagus and a whole can of Coke. Wait, have you tried that?

You guys are so weird. First of all, like who the fuck is like yeah let me figure out how to not be high like yeah a lot of people dude well that same twitch con the next morning no i'm just saying like you're not supposed to get to that level you're supposed to go on the journey and not get to that level because you make your homemade weed as i we were talking about this is kind of the the elden days of when people used to take edibles that yeah no fucking well yeah it's just like some dude rocks up to you and he's like do you want a fucking weed cookie and you're just like okay this lollipop it's 8 000 thc white guy with dreads like i also

learned the same trip so we wake up the next morning and i'm like surely it won't happen again i take another edible because we're going to the zoo and i want to be high at the zoo oh no cutie and then uh as soon as i take I was like, shouldn't have done that. Then I go to the bathroom to try to throw it up. If you try to throw up an edible, you get high faster. I'm not kidding you. Wait, really?

Yes. Then I go to Reddit and I'm looking at Reddit. Reddit's like, whatever you do, don't try to throw it up. I'm like, too late. So, and you got more high. I got more high, but then, and then I was really stressed out, and then I ordered asparagus and Coke. And it worked.

Well, it didn't get there in time before we had to go to the zoo. How did you order asparagus? Like, you DoorDash asparagus from Whole Foods? No, it was DoorDash grocery store. And you just started chomping on an asparagus? Like you door dash asparagus from Whole Foods? No, it was door dash grocery store. And you just started chomping on asparagus like a rabbit? Listen, I use the old-fashioned way of not being too high. Use another drug. No, start drinking immediately.

That makes it worse for me. Just hammering beers. I didn't know that. It makes it worse for me. That's old frat boy knowledge. If I'm too high, I got to get drunk. And if I'm too drunk, I got to get high. I haven't gotten high since then.

Beer always helps, dude, especially when you're driving. Like, it helps my driving. It really just chills out my nerves. Yeah, just a couple beers. Like, if you're anxious. Dude, road sodas. Yeah. If you're anxious, it helps, honestly.

It makes me pay closer attention. Well, anyway, I wanted you all to come to Coachella, and you all told me to go fuck myself, except for Marsh. I was at Pride. I would have gone if I wasn't at Pride. Yeah, the one guy in the room that went, oh, I love ketamine, was very excited to go to Coachella with you. I'm sorry, you mean the one cool guy in the room? Yeah, exactly. Don't fucking.

Oh, I'm sorry, Narc. Don't come down. You call him Billy Rave Brains, and you're over here fucking defending. If he wants to do a little blowfish venom at a festival, that's his prerogative. Cutie. Yeah. All right. I have a suggestion.

We need to start our own festival. And only because this will really frustrate Austin. What? What do you say to us going to Coachella. I think it would be funny. For one day. Yes. And we shoot an episode of the podcast there with a cool ass guest.

And we tabled this episode as the paywalled episode. And then we put that up on Monday as the real episode. I thought about this upstairs while I was showering. I was like, how can I make, how can I put a house? How far away is Coachella? Three hours with a lot of traffic. No, it's literally equidistant to your fucking house. Oh.

No, it's not. He's lying. You have to get on a helicopter and fly on many planes to get there. How bad will traffic be? Terrible. If you leave after day one, fine. Yeah. If we also go, I wasn't planning on going for the duration.

If we go at a weird time, we can literally weird time You guys come Saturday I can get you badges To Neon Carnival you can literally Just come to Neon try it out and then leave If you guys want to do that I'd be Happy that that happened for you But like we're not going to just party We're also going to do a podcast Episode and then we're going to

Paywall this I'm not even upset you know why I'm not upset Because I still get the clips from this one we're also actually you know what fuck it we just tabled this whole thing come on we just table this one that's a little that's a little much because like we might have a really good patreon episode over there too where we do drugs no i could go on sunday also the abby's doing a party at Coachella. Oh, yeah, but the Abbey's drugging people. Haven't you seen that?

I saw that video you sent me. Inflammatory, ridiculous. It's in the chat. Anyway, yeah, there's a TikToker who's coming for the Abbey. All right, wait. I had one question while he's pulling this up. This was going to end my Coachella discussion. If there was one artist

that could get you guys out of old person retirement. Taylor Swift. Other than Taylor Swift. But there is a rumor that she's going to pop into Coachella because of Sabrina Carpenter. That's such an insane. Small little baby rumor. She's going to. Yeah, she's just going to fucking headline. I don't believe it.

She's just going to do a real. She's going to do a real favor. I'm going to send you a video of me and Taylor just fighting. I would show up for Billie too. Billie Eilish? Yeah, but she's already done a few. Are you a fan of Billie Eilish? Is that like the new thing? Oh, I love her.

I've always loved Billie. I'm a fan of Billie too. I dyed my eyes blue for her. She has done this thing where she like, if you follow her on Instagram, she blasts every story that she does to your close. I'm her close friend. Yeah, to her close friends. And it freaked me out at first.

I was like, what the fuck is this? Like, why do I have a close friends notification here? I saw it and I said, that makes sense. Wait, wait, dead or alive? What? I'm alive right now. Oh, alive. Who'd you go see?

Dude, I love that he had to ask dead or alive because he fucking, he just, he loves Frankie Valley and the Four Seasons. Bro, he loves to push this narrative. I don't listen to Frankie Valley and the Four Seasons as much as I listen to Dean Martin. Something really quick. This is so funny. I listen to Dean Martin. That's my guy.

Austin and I were looking at a list of like famous performers who you can contract. And I was like, oh my God, we maybe could get Fleetwood. Maybe we could get Earth, Wind and Fire, which we have a lead on. And Austin goes, you know who I think would be great? Engelbert Humperdinck. Yeah. For Name Your Price.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage, Engelbert Humperdinck. I don't even know who that is. Inglebert Humperdinck! Come on, Inglebert Humperdinck was a legend in the 70s. My grandmother had a huge crush on him. I can't be alone here.

He had a great song. You should get Donny Osmond. Is he on the list? No I know Sometimes I can't tell If he's doing a bit or not I'm not doing a bit He's just so insane In fact

For Cutie Summer For Cutie Summer concert I'm going to hire An entire ensemble band And I'm going to sing A Dean Martin song Yeah I'm going to dress up

I'm going to hire an entire band I'm not going to do this On a concert I just don't know How a concert. I just don't know how you materialize. I just don't think I can sing, I learned. Did you like eight events to figure that out? It took me a while.

Did you just do this event because you wanted to play it off kind of as a fun joke thing, but maybe legitimately people would catch on and think that you're a really good singer and then it would start your music career? No one caught on. And then I had to self-reflect after what do you mean we saw your hit me baby one more time well that was notoriously bad yeah what the fuck do you mean worst ever done kitty i go to voice lessons now and every time i leave i think to myself that did

not get better wait cutie you're trying to be a singer? I don't got the rhythm in me. No, I think you do. I think you've got potential. I tried to do the JoJo Siwa dance, and I hover-handed my own crotch on the crotch crab because it was a little much. What does that have to do with your singing? Yeah, wait, wait. The rhythm in me. I've got none of it.

Billie Eilish, Dean Martin? No. Dead or alive? Alive. Alive? Okay, Dean Martin's dead. He's been dead since 1997. Okay.

Alive or dead? Alive. Alive, Austin. El dead. He's been dead since 1997. Okay. Alive or dead? Alive. Alive, Austin. Elton John. I'm not even shitting you. Great. That's a good answer. Coachella?

There's no one. I don't care. What if I was performing at Coachella? I'm weirder. I'm weirder. Your heart may not work. Sometimes you say things, and I don't know if you know how you sound. If Austin was performing, would he come? Here's my answer ken carson yeah hold on opium because i'm fucking what cutie said if i was performing a dean martin cover band playboy cardi i hate playboy cardi

ken carson i'm listening it's gonna be fucking side by side kyanwes makes an appearance and he says i'm no longer anti-semitic. Ben Carson? Everybody's fucking Ken Carson. Not Ben Carson. Johnny Carson. Ah, I know Johnny Carson. No, I know. Yeah, yeah. All right, where was the clip that they asked you to pull up?

This is drama alert. Drama, drama, drama. Drama is just slander nowadays. Yeah, this is just crazy. This is slander alert. I've been watching the Abander alert lately and i am wondering what's gonna happen are people um if you don't know the abbey is one of the most popular bars in los angeles for no it's not people um or lgbtq people known for it's not tons of people getting

roofied there and there's an article that came out recently it's known for that like tons and tons and tons of experiences to the point where it's like statistically almost impossible that the abby doesn't have some involvement having been there when my friend got roofied i feel like it has to involve them like the abby does have to claim some level of responsibility at this point i don't know why they're doing this dude it's just one cereal roofier no it's not one cereal roof here. It's multiple probably. There's been situations where I'm like, there's just no other way.

What are people saying about this? A couple things I want to say is people who used to go to the Abbey all the fucking time before Austin even when Austin was realizing he was gay we were going to the Abbey. I've been jerking off to gay porn for quite some time. We've been going to the Abbey. Okay? Yeah. So. I've been jerking off to gay porn for quite some time. We've been going to the Abbey for quite some time.

It's been like for the past 10 years. I was living gay porn. You were living gay porn. Yeah. So I'll just. I mean, I'm joking. Obviously, I'm exaggerating. But like we used to go to the Abbey all the time.

Yeah. I still remember my first time going to the Abbey. I felt like Pussy and Sopranos. Do you remember? Big Pussy. Yeah. Was he the gay one? No, no. no pussy was the one who ate pussy right or the the gay one i was like i was like oh what if i go here and like they'll recognize someone will recognize me and they'll think i'm gay and then i remember thinking so what if they think i'm gay who gives a shit uh and like i remember

having that moment um hooking up with a playboy model with a boyfriend, my first night there. Yeah, me too. The fear of God being placed in me. So all of that stuff we did, we used to go to the Abbey all the time. It's a very important place in our development. And we stopped going because it is a little grimy it is like i would say that it is specifically for uh you know at this point especially midwester moms having bachelorette parties because it's like a gay institution that has become like a theme park basically however because it's grimy because

it's like a massive tourist destination there are a lot of fucking weirdos there that are definitely doing some fuck shit. Yeah. We've also literally had like traumatic experiences at the Abbey as well. Yeah, we got sexually assaulted by the same guy. Yeah. In the same night. What? Jesus Christ.

Yeah. Yeah. It's a big dude. I mean, I've been assaulted there too. It's a bigger dude than me. I mean, verbally. I mean, this was. I got assaulted there.

I looked over and Ludwig was making out with Aiden. It was crazy. That's not. We were talking about serious stuff. Was this the same time? Remember? Yeah, we were there and you get upset every time because you remember he kissed someone that wasn't you. Was he making?

Hold on. The story's changed. No. He was making out with him? Were they kissing? Is it the same thing? No, no, no, no, no. I'm dead serious.

I kid you not. I think it's so traumatic for him that he blocks it out of his mind and he wipes it clean every time. No, no, no, no. no. I'm dead serious. I kid you not. I think it's so traumatic for him that he blocks it out of his mind and he wipes it clean every time. No, no, no, kitty, kitty, kitty. What? Was he making out with him or was he just kissing him? I don't know if tongue was involved. They were making out, bro.

They were making out. I'm pretty sure they were making out. They were making out? Yes, bro. They were making out. They were thinking like, thank God Austin is not here. Okay, people. Okay, look.

On your birthday. I'm happy for them. Wait, that was my birthday? Yes. I keep forgetting that this is. I think I was making out with somebody, though. Was that that night? No, you notoriously were super dry.

I was super dry? Yeah, you were like, I can't get anyone tonight. Yeah, what the fuck's going on? I was there, and I was pointing to the Abby Stans with the Ukraine flag that they had. Wait, Hasan, was that the night that you showed up for my birthday for three minutes and left? Yeah, because Russia was invading Ukraine. Oh, that's right. And I had done like, by the way, that's still happening.

Yeah, not pressing. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. See what happened? It's still going on. You stand hard enough. Could you have stayed?

Maybe if they had stood harder with ukraine real fucking problem yeah they still harder were ukraine everybody did kind of just give up on that didn't they yeah dude we just we were just like all right you're on your own i see like the occasional like i stand with ukraine faded bumper sticker on the back of people's car yeah but that's about no the only people that care about it nowadays are like obviously a side of the ukrainians are just like the biggest freaks on both sides. Like either they're like weirdly pro Russia and they're like, yeah, we love that Russia is destroying Ukraine or they're like insane. They're like every the nuclear holocaust needs to happen.

So most of the experience that I've had at the Abbey is during the day, during Sunday fun day. And I've been there at night night i know there's also this i've heard about this problem and i've also heard about theft being a big issue yeah but like all right all right let me just let me just i'm gasping address this actual video for a second the abbey probably conservatively has like 10 000 people in and out of its doors every weekend right yeah like the number of people that are in and out is like an equivalent to a senior frog just like your fucking mom damn that was that was horrible that was kind of ruthless though wait why did you ask me for a high five you high-fived you idiot i know but why would you

do that wait you said i thought we were talking about his mom. Maybe you should listen to women. Wow. She hits you with the double whammy. How the fuck did I get out of that fucking head on the bottom? He doesn't want to listen to women because he hears his mom all the time at night. I tried to defend you and you fucking high-fived it. I know. That's crazy.

Okay, well, alright. Sorry, mom. Sorry. She watches this. Can you 10,000 men in and out? Just like Cutie's mom. She's dead as hell. She's dead, bro. What the fuck? Yo.

She's so fucking dead. I'm so sorry. She hits you with the double. Yo, the Cutie heads are going to fucking destroy you in the comments. I'm so sorry. I forgot that she was dead. Get him. Get him.

Yeah, that's crazy. I'm so sorry. Rest in peace, Mom. Do they do this? That's not her name. Shit. I'm so sorry for your deceased mother, and I didn't mean that. That's insane, bro.

I'm so sorry. No, it's okay. So 10,000 men in and out, like Austin's mom. Okay. Nobody's mom. Okay. How about Hassan's mom? You guys all know her. You all know her. You guys met my mom. How about we go afteran's mom? Oh, that's weird. You guys all know her. I know her. You all know her. Sorry, sorry.

She's lovely. You guys met my mom? How about we go after somebody's father? Did anybody have a bad relationship with their father? All right, okay, go on. But I... Do we even care? No, I do, I do.

Do we even care? Senior frogs. 10,000 people in and out. No, it's just like most really high volume tourist destination where there is an outlandish amount of drinking. There's going to be some pretty nefarious behavior. It is like the Disneyland for gays. Yeah.

I don't even. I just need to go to other places. It's statistically sure that Abby has an involvement. I'm vibrated. I'm just going to go to the next topic. This one's chalked. I like it. I just don't like what he just did. Austin said

that he was going to produce this entire episode. Hold on, guys. I have a bunch of topics. I have a bunch of topics, but you guys keep talking about stuff. All he has done is just sidestep every good conversation. I didn't sidestep it. I'm taking heat for something that I didn't do.

Cutie's equally responsible. His mom did it. Okay. I love the topics, baby. Let's do it. We got a lot of topics here. I thought we were doing good without your topics. Okay, we don't have to talk about my topics.

We were, but I want to hear where your topics are okay there's this new trend okay on tiktok and it's hilarious all right there's uh i love it when a millennial says it's hilarious okay you know what i'm tired of the millennial hate oh get that's a different topic just stay on topic first of all you just paused you're a millennial number one millennials okay i can't i'm trying to find this link here marsh i'm gonna link you this thing there's this trend right now uh of basically incel men that are upset at the idea that you know have you ever heard women are like i want a guy that's six feet tall yeah i want a guy that's this and i'm not gonna do it unless he has a six-year income.

Yeah. Well, there's a group of incel men who have decided that they're going to take this trend and apply those same comments to women. That's just the yard. Fucking, that's a great one. Bars. Bars, dude. I'm on fire today, baby.

Hey, yo, fuck you, Ludwig. See? That's it. So the funny part is, though, is fem-cell women. I don't know if that's the right word. Conservative women think that these guys are being serious. Typical women not taking a fucking joke. No, so it's, hold on, let's play the video. You know what?

This may be a bad topic. I mean, I love misogyny, so I'm on board with this introduction. Hold on. I don't even fully understand what the fuck's hold on let's play the video you know what this may be a bad i mean i love misogyny so i'm on board with this this introduction although i don't even fully understand what's going on okay i'm trying it's a soft boy era well let me know about this decode a little bit okay so there's a lot of videos on tiktok of a woman i don't think it's necessarily an incel trend but there are a lot of videos of women being like if he's not six foot if he's not yeah yeah i don't even see that motherfucker like he's gross yeah he ain't got a horse dick i'm out yeah and guys and guys would respond like quoting one of their flaws and and then they would get really butt hurt and release like another video being like

you guys can't say that about me yeah it's gender wars it's the lamest shit of all time it's so fucking whack it is we done with the whole masculine provider male error we're in our soft guy era okay okay drizzle drizzle listen i don't know who need to hear this but until that woman asks you to be her husband you don't have to do husband like things stop giving these women wait pause it advantages this is so far removed from the way you described it and the way you understandably understood what he was trying to say this is exactly what it is well i mean no there are other videos. This guy is kind of defining a soft guy era.

He's got a nice beard. Yeah, no, this is actually pretty funny. I don't think we should give a husband privileges. Yeah, I thought he was an insult. He's just making a joke. Okay, maybe I understood the topic. Unless you're Ludwig. God damn it.

I'm on board with what he's doing. Let's keep watching. Oh, fuck. All right. That's how you do it. I damn it. I'm on board with what he's doing. Let's keep watching. Oh, God. I'm trying. I'm trying. And you're still a boyfriend. Until that ring is on your finger, you shouldn't be doing anything. The ring is on your finger.

Hell yes. Drizzle, drizzle. Drizzle, drizzle. Y'all be so caught up on getting with Dusty's and all that, you need to start going after their moms. See, I know a lot of y'all think that older women may not be that much attractive or whatever the case may be,

but there's a lot of good-looking older women. And I feel like you guys can deal with these older women who is going to take care of you and treat you like a king that you know. Drizzle, drizzle. That's what I'm talking about. Drizzle, drizzle. 100%.

There's a point where, as a man in your soft yourself got air you shouldn't be pumping your own gas you shouldn't be cleaning out your yes you shouldn't be having to change your tires wait a second you have to put air in your tires who's gonna take out the trash ladies that's all the responsibilities of your woman drizzle drizzle yes you become a then things change. What? Yes. I really don't like

taking out the trash. It's really scary at night. Lock that shit up. Sometimes I just don't take out the trash. Sometimes you get pictures of you taking out the trash and you're like,

I didn't know anyone was there, you know? Drizzle, drizzle. Drizzle, drizzle. I get the point. No, I don't. Okay. Y'all giving up the dookie. The dookie? True. Is that the dookie? Y'all dropping it off I get the point. No, I don't. Okay.

The dookie. Is that the dookie? These women. Yeah, like your mom. Preach. Preach. You know? Because at the end of the day, it's all about us.

It's all about us. We just want our equal rights as men. That's what I'm talking about. I agree. I also have been a big proponent of the era of. The Holy Ghost and Drizzle Drizzle. Date men, sleep with women. Like, that's my.

Date men, sleep with women. That's what I eventually want to do. Wait, wait, hold on. Date men, sleep with women. Like, that's my... Date men, sleep with women. That's what I eventually want to do. Wait, wait, hold on. Date men, sleep with women. Like, you want to date men? I want emotionally... Bro, what are you talking about? This is his thing for, like, the past... And physically be with women.

15 years. You've been in a relationship with him for years. You've got to take it more seriously. Bro, Will has been talking about heterosexual gay marriage... No, I know, but... ...since before gay marriage was legal. ...with you specifically, but it seems as if he's... No, I'm open.

Okay. There are other men out there. He cut me out. How would this work? Would you have a household with both of them in it? Yes. And you would have sex? Would you guys have sex with the women together?

No, that's gay. Okay. Yeah, no. Understood. What's so complicated about it? You are in an emotional connection with your man. Thank you. Who you fucking provide for.

Yes. Who you play video games with and stuff. Yeah, cuddle with. Yeah, watch movies. And then for sexual gratification, you can go outside and get- Do you have sex with the woman while looking at the guy? No, that's gay. No.

Okay. No, dude. No. It's open in that regard because obviously sexual satisfaction is not going to come from your male partner. He gets it so much. Yeah, but he's always been really close-minded. He's going to break down one day. You think he's going to?

I think he's going to give up one day. I'm going to do it. And you guys are just going to live in a house together. I think when he gets old and unattractive enough, I'm going to swoop in. If he hurts that other knee, it's over. Yeah. I'm working on one knee right now. I got a bum knee.

If the second one is out, then heterosexual gay marriage it is. But you're open to a femboy, right? Well, yeah. Yeah, see? I like femboys. Do you like femboys, son? Uh, I'm fine. Yeah.

His political stance Will not allow him to say no So I absolutely would have been No I don't really You know what that's not I'm not in support of femboys You know what That's my preference

I want a manly man I want a manly man I want someone to be able to keep up with me. I want someone to look like they're fucking chopping wood every goddamn day of the week. Okay. That's what I need. Speaking of my life, there's a tweet that will nef.

Oh, sorry. Go ahead. There's a tweet that went viral about alleging that him and I have, we're dating in 2017 or 18. It's not a tweet that went viral. It was anti-piker. Yeah, but, but it, but it went viral well it was no what no no no listen i also liked it i saw this so this tweet anti-piker

whatever sometimes i'll be on you can pull it up marsh i'll be on um reddit homepage and the schizo reddits will pop up yes and it's on reddit a schizo reddit posted it taking it serious yeah and i clicked on it because i was like that's hilarious and and all of the comments roasted the fuck out of the op and they're like you got baited by anti-biker and i was like you schizos are funny wait but like okay so here's the deal first of all i just got i was called on the comments and it's just us getting called the f slur over and over again which is really i mean by by our fans by anti-piker yeah by austin no but but there's legitimately people that believe this like the guy that thought that i was queerbaiting basically nice speaking of queerbaiting you yesterday dropped a big picture of your nipple and i don't appreciate that you

always are talking about his nipple it's never changed changed. Well, I know. It's just he's queerbaiting. Yeah, no. It's going to get so much worse. The lower my body fat percentage drops, the more annoying I'm going to get with that, so get ready for that. He's going to get in my tub. Okay, I'm going to cancel my psychiatrist appointment.

Wait, why? Oh, cutie. Because I feel bad. No, no, no. Don't do that. Don't do that. It's fine. It's okay.

It's okay. Don't worry, cutie. We can figure it out. I'll be here for at least 20 minutes. Tell her you're doing mushrooms with me. She will not be happy. And she's fucking fired. Okay.

The eclipse happened, right? Yes. That occurred. See, look at me, huh? The eclipse occurred and a Google search spiked of why do my eyes hurt increased. Wow. Yeah. So I have a question. Ready? Your topic? Yeah. Did you watch the eclipse? No my eyes hurt increased. Wow. Yeah. So I have a question.

Okay. Ready? Your topic? Yeah. Did you watch the eclipse? No, I didn't. Oh. No, I didn't.

I did. You know what? I'm going to be honest, and a lot of people may clown me for this. I didn't care, really. I don't care either. I didn't care too much about it. It gets dark every night. Yeah.

The areas that we live in also did not get totality or even near totality so it wasn't as cool but like if you were in the pathway of totality it was kind of dope yeah i mean i would have gone outside and looked at it total darkness it went total darkness for like a good couple of minutes yeah i mean i mean it's cool it's like oh my god it's noon and it's dark you know um but like i don't know like to me it wasn't exciting at noon i just fucking closed my eyes it's dark. I don't know. To me, it wasn't exciting enough. At noon, I just fucking close my eyes. It's dark. Yeah, see? There you go. At nighttime, it goes... It's not the majesty of celestial bodies.

Did you know that 168 people in the county of some state I don't remember were trying to conceive exactly during the eclipse? That's a good topic. They're trying to have a fucking moon baby. They're trying to have Satan. Hail Satan! That's Griff good topic They're trying to have Satan Hail Satan That's Griffith bro

I don't know where they got that number from That kind of confused me That baby is not going to be coming out Alright dude Those are like 168 Adolf Hitlers They need to nip that in the bud If you're on your period Or ovulating during the eclipse, you're a white witch.

So there's just millions of white witches. Yeah, they're wicked and cool. Okay, so my eclipse topic didn't really... I think there's only one white witch. You saw that that was a banger? I don't know. I'm just going through my list. It happened last week.

Here's something that's more interesting. OJ Simpson literally died today. I'm just going to my list. It happened last week here. Here's something that's more interesting. I'm not done with my list. I'll add on to the eclipse topic. Excuse you. There are analysts out there that look at like productivity and they found out that it was approximately 700 million dollars of like lost revenue due to people just like looking at the eclipse and the eclipse and not working. Wait, across the entire economy? Across the American economy. That's so cool. And they turned CERN on, so we're in a different dimension now. Okay, that's way

cooler than the way that Austin was talking about this issue. It's a hadron collider. There's multiple different dimensions. We're in Earth 2 now or Earth 4 or whatever the fuck these kooks believe. It's the thing that throws atoms together at really fast pace. No, I know what a mega halodron collider is.

Oh, you don't know what CERN was? Okay. No, I don't know what CERN is. It's the nickname. It's... Guys? Don't have attitude. This is just conspiracy shit. No, it's not. I mean, that is real, but that isn't doing anything to the world. My favorite thing from the eclipse was that Fox News twisted it as a

southern border crisis and that all the immigrants were going to rush into the country the moment that night falls. Everyone's looking at the sky. No, that was a legitimate thing on Fox News. They said that the southern border was going to, they were going to rush in during the eclipse. Everybody knows you can't see them at night. In total darkness, they were going to rush in during the eclipse. Everybody knows you can't see them at night. Yeah.

In total darkness, they're going to run inside. There was a photo of literally fucking immigrants. You know, the crazy thing is, they marked this on the Aztec calendar. It was the day that they were going to invade the United States. Okay, I have my psychiatrist appointment. I'll try to make it fast.

She just has to ask me what meds I'm on and shit. No, it's all good. Tell her slow-sibing mushrooms. Tell her that. Ask her if she's down for that, though. No, no, no. No. Tactful.

That's beautiful. Kaya just jumped over the... Agile. Didn't even touch the camera. You didn't even feel it. The new Joker trailer dropped. So fucking sick. Wait, really?

You like it? I think it looks fucking kind of corny. Yeah. No, you don't get to say this. You don't even have a single fucking musical artist that you would deign to see? You would go to see Hasan Piker in concert. No, that's not true.

I 100% have seen more musical theater, more Broadway shows than you have. I grew up in New York. You're fucking smoking crack. I probably have seen more Broadway shows than you. My mother wanted me to be gay, okay? probably have seen more Broadway shows than you. No. My mother wanted my mom every weekend. My mother wanted me to be gay, okay?

Dude, Scarlet Pimpernail. Wait, really? That's my suspicion. Phantom of the Opera, Avenue Q, Seussical. Okay, never mind. Is that why your mom and I get along so well? Is because I'm gay? I think my mom really likes me. I think my mom

probably thought maybe you could turn your child gay by taking them to musical theater it's not like a musical musical it's a karaoke musical so like all the songs in it are gonna be songs you know it's not gonna be like an original like hey there choker stop what you're doing come on down to gotham and fuck you know it's it's like yeah yeah yeah i know i know i know i know it's gonna be like normal it's gonna be songs not gonna be like across the universe do you want to do would you have done theater um like i mean you didn't know no what did you have done theater he is theater look at him i am it no i know but like like i mean in like a in like a like on

broadway i don't i like plays plays i'm not a big fan of musicals but i think this film listen dude i'm gonna tell you how it is okay there are gonna be a dozen commenters out there because they're the other 11 dc fans in the world but long have we suffered the dc fans okay while marvel fans were out there in the sunlight frolicking right while the rest of the world was like i'm a marvel fan too dc fans they spit on us yeah they had a peak there was a peak like second class citizens they're like your movies suck man is dark night darkness justice league is a piece of shit oh ezra miller's playing the fire and we ha ha ha. You sound like Luke Bryan. Yeah, we just had to accept that vitriol and that hate because our movie sucked so much. And then there was this shining beacon of hope.

Gun takes over the DC universe. And we've had some pretty decent projects now. And I think this is going to be the first film of the new era of hit after hit after hit. Long have we suffered. It is about to be my age of Aquarius. Get ready for eight more Aquaman movies. Do you just want

him to suffer? He doesn't like anything. That's the thing. I've been trying to engage with Hasan in friendship. He shoots me down every time. That's not true. Hasan, you want to come

to my house in Portland? He says no every time. Absolutely not. You know who didn't say no? Will. He said he'd come for a couple weeks. That's right. He said he'd come move in for a couple weeks. Okay, great. Why won't you a couple weeks. That's right. He said he'd come move in for a couple weeks. Okay, great. Why won't you come visit me? Portland's boring.

But I'm there. We could have friendship. That doesn't change it at all. I'll take you to a nice steak dinner. I'll pay for it. I'll buy your flight. It's not the finances that are stopping me from going to Portland. I think we need to do a podcast there. Listen.

We need to have a retreat at my house. Absolutely not we need to do a podcast there. We need to have a retreat. Absolutely not. I'm buying a hot tub. You don't even have a hot tub in your house. No, I need it. No, I don't have a,

I went, I'm asking that is because you do in the tub with Austin show. Yeah, but I have a bathtub, but I don't have a hot tub in the tub is in the bathtub. I have a hot tub. I went hot tub. Can you believe a hot tub is like an outdoor is in the bathtub. I have a hot tub. I went hot tub shopping.

What's the difference? I can't believe a hot tub is like an outdoor. No, that's a jacuzzi, I thought. Well, that's a brand of hot tub. Do you really not know the difference between a... He's ESL. Oh, I thought hot tub was... This is the first time that we're reaching a language barrier. Yeah.

I thought hot tub was the same as a bathtub. I thought jacuzzis were the outdoor one. Oh, my God. English is a second language. Yes. Sometimes there are gaps like that. Yes. Okay, that's great.

Go ahead. Say some racially charged shit. There's nothing racist. Yeah, like, oh, Hasan, your english is so good all things can but i went i went hot tub shopping and god it's shot i was like i'm gonna go buy a hot tub today i walked in he's like yeah it was like this guy saying like this you said yeah brother we got a hot tub our cheap ones i'm like okay you know let's get started at the low i said what's your low end give me your high and he's like well the low. I said, what's your low end? Give me your high end. He's like, well, the low end is $11,000.

And our high end right there in the corner, $28,000. I said, that's insane for a fucking, I just want to sit in water. You went to a luxury hot tub place. No, they said that this is how hot tubs are. I mean, it kind of makes sense, dude. Maybe I'll buy a used one. 11,000 plus with the assembly, though? Or do they not do the delivery and the assembly?

I mean, this thing had like, you have to put water in it once a year, it's got filters. Hold on. We're almost done. Just be really bad. You got it. You got to put filters in. This podcast is falling apart.

Yeah. We're Will and I are holding this fucking thing together and always have. Yeah. We're holding this thing together. And if not for us, we'd be done. You're goddamn right. We'd be done. You're goddamn right. We'd be done. And maybe we should leave the podcast and start our own thing.

What do you think? Showdown. Yeah. I mean, I've been doing this podcast with you for a while, Showdown. Yeah. And, yeah, I think it would be a better podcast. Somebody commented. It was a top comment, and they said they could listen to you and I talk for hours.

Yeah. You know what I think would be the most successful podcast? If I just did a podcast by myself. Well, hold on. That feels a little isolating here that I gas you up. I elevate you to a level and then you just take a shit on me. Our podcast would be tremendous. Yeah.

I got a great podcast idea, but I'll tell you about it later. I don't want anybody to steal it. Okay. Fuck it. Lock. Fuck it. Locker room talk. You and I. Yeah. In a locker room.

Yes. Towels. Slurs. No, no, no. No slurs. Maybe in the Patreon. Okay. Okay.

Locker room talk. We're in a locker room. Okay. You and I shirtless in a locker room. Towel. Done. That's the show. The Patreon is us doing a workout with our guest in the gym.

Locker room talk. Huh? See, it was quick. I told you. That was, I don't know. I think you need to check your prostate. That was a little long. What?

No, it wasn't. That was like fucking. Actually, there's no way you have a big prostate. You've been on finasteride for so long. I don't need to. Yeah, I don't need to worry about that. You guys don't have to worry about your prostate. No.

Well, I mean, I, who knows, but you know, no, I'm scared to take that still, but I think I've got the medication on.

Bro. It's good. It's probably good that your libido suffers a little bit, please. So you don't have to fucking go to gay pride, Miami. You're, you don't have to do a gay worldwide pride tour.

Wait, you think that that's a look. You think that I'm just going to gay pride to have gay sex? We're just worried about your other gay trips. Gay Kuwait is going to be scary. Bro, you literally said earlier, earlier, earlier before you got here, he said, Hasan, I haven't had sex in two weeks. Okay, hold on.

Can I just say something? You wouldn't survive two weeks without sex. It's true. So I'm sick and tired of the gay guy getting? You wouldn't survive two weeks without sex. It's true. So I'm sick and tired of the gay guy getting all the heat for wanting to have gay sex. Actually, that's not true. You wouldn't survive. Yes, I could. When was the last time you went two weeks without sex?

I can't recall. See, there you go. Will, when was the last time you went two weeks without sex? Brother, I'm like three months strong right now. Will's celibate. What? He's practicing abstinence for God. Will, you need to have sex.

Yeah. Do I need to make a phone call? To who? Your girlfriend. The mayor of sex? Yes. You need to have sex. I'm going to give you a blowjob.

Hey. Thank you. What are we at on time? I'm going to give you a blowjob. Look at that. All right. on that note that'll be all for the non-paywall portion of the

podcast I'm going to gay pride Austin is going to gay pride which is why he selfishly decided to do it at this weird hour on a Thursday morning so some of the topics might not be as hot Hassan has this weird theory where he thinks that like unless we do it in 48 hours from now, we're going to have so many more topics.

It's okay. It's fine. Probably world changing events are going to occur from now until Monday, but it's all right. Let me tell you, we're still going to do a Patreon episode as well. A paywalled episode right after this. Austin is going to be on that.

Cutie's going to come back for it. Yeah. And I'm happy we could keep this episode together because Hassan gave us a warning that if Iran attacked Israel, like the president going to the Situation Room, he would have to leave the podcast. Yeah, no, which is pretty fair, I think. Yeah, no, everybody needs your take. Which, by the way, in between now and also Monday, that might have happened. So you might be going, what the fuck?

Do we all just die in a nuclear holocaust if that happens? Is this our last episode? Maybe. Who knows? Wait, is Miami closer to- Speaking of which, I watched Fallout. We'll talk about that behind the paywall, though. Go to patreon.com slash fear and.

Patreon slash fear and. Go subscribe. We love you. Goodbye. Tortured Poets Department, as everybody knows, comes out April 19th. We're looking at Friday. Reference to Dead Poets Society. Reference to the Tortets Society. Reference to

the tortured men's department which was Joe Alwyn's group chat with his friends. She just owned you? Who's Joe Alwyn? Her ex-boyfriend. Why is she still talking about this guy? Because he's free Palestine and she's not. Can I be honest? Does she ever let this shit go?

No, it makes her millions. Okay. I wouldn't either. Oh my God. Did Joe Alwyn do anything really bad? We don't know, but we think maybe he cheated on her.