Fear& - AustinShow & Hasanabi Followed Valkyrae To The UK.. | Fear&London

Episode Date: May 16, 2023

We went to the UK with a goal and a plan and a mission. Hasan overslept and none of those things were accomplished. The one good thing we were able to do was have Rae on our podcast, she was super happy and willing to do it and definitely didnt bail us out because she felt sorry for us. In all seriousness, even though this wasnt the original plan for our UK podcast it was sortve a blessing in disguise because we got a banger episode out of it. Thanks to Rae (my boss) for coming on and helping fear& not miss a week. Hope yall enjoy this one! Cheers ♥ ..God damnit Will was right about the UK, please dont tell him he was right I dont want to live in a world where he was always right🎉BONUS CONTENT🍾 🌟PATREON - https://www.patreon.com/FearAnd🎧 AUDIO PLATFORMS - https://linktr.ee/fearand♥ follow our guest! ♥Rae -  https://twitter.com/Valkyrae✰ follow Fear&! ✰Hasan: https://twitter.com/HasanthehunAustin: https://twitter.com/AustinontwitterMarche: https://twitter.com/MarcheFear&: https://twitter.com/FearAndPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Are we broadcasting? Let's make sure we sound good. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Good. I cannot believe that you just made us sit out here, poor Valgaray, on a fucking rooftop. Look. On a rooftop in London because you wanted. Can you believe it, ladies and gents?

We flew all the way out to the UK to have this view. Yes. We did. We are actually, folks, we are sitting on the iconic rooftop that the Beatles of 19. You look like a newscaster. You have the skinniest tie I've ever seen on. Okay. Is skinny tie bad or something tie I've ever seen on. Okay? Is skinny tie bad or something?

I think it looks great. Yeah, you've got the bottom, but you are a fucking mess, dude. I'm a mess? You're a mess. You're a goddamn mess. I'm a mess? And I'm saying this after having two Red Bulls so far. I'm about to down my third one to just stay up.

Because, honestly, I'm freaking dying right now. I'm on three hours of sleep. This is day five of London, right? This is day five of London. There's a boxing match that we're supposed to be at in like a couple hours. We're not going to go to it. And why is that, Hasan? Why aren't we going to the boxing fight?

That's right. You heard it here, ladies and gents. It's because we are filming a podcast that should have been filmed yesterday with another guest. The fact that I am being blamed for this already is ridiculous, but that's not the reason. But regardless, it doesn't matter. We're up here. We're

on the rooftops. This is an iconic location. You can see the wheelie wagon thing behind it. I don't know what the fuck it's called. It's a Ferris wheel. For those history buffs that are watching the podcast, in 1969, January 30th, Paul, John, Ringo, and George, the Beatles played their very famous rooftop concert right in this location.

And that's why I wanted to put us right here. Yeah, because many people say we're like the Beatles of podcasting. That's right. That's right. That's right. Absolutely. And look at this view, folks. If you can look behind us. Why do you sound like a newscaster?

You look like a newscaster, and you sound like one. What is happening? Yeah, why are you guys so dressed up today? Right behind us is the London Eye, Big Ben. The financial district is over there. Can you even see it? Yeah, you can kind of see it. Okay.

Well, I hope you can see it. You can kind of see it. There's stuff back there anyway. This is how he's pointing. Yeah. There's stuff back there. I like that. I hope you guys can see it because let me tell you something, okay?

There's no fucking lumbar support here. That's why I'm scrunkled up like this, okay? Scrunkled. I don't even know what word that is because I'm running on fumes right now, okay? I'm running on freaking fumes. This has been... March is already drinking beers behind the scenes, okay? Let me call him out.

He's just sitting on the fucking ground. Wait, that actually is a beer. Yeah, he's just sitting on the ground drinking a goddamn beer. It's been a long week. It has been a long week. I wanted to do it here because Ray is an icon. What?

And often icons cannot just be put in random rooms. They have to be put on the iconic places like the rooftop that the Beatles played on in 1969. So that's why I put us here, Ray. I don't know if you noticed, but podcasting is supposed to be like a comfortable medium. Where you sit for like two hours. I don't know if we're going to be able to do this for two hours. I'm not even kidding. I'm looking right at you.

We might need to resettle. Yeah, because I'll fucking carry the cameras down and reset it downstairs. We're going to make it. We're going to make it. We'll make it through. We'll make it through. Don't worry. Just focus, Asan.

Why are you guys so dressed up today? It's a good question. Wait, you're the guest. Yeah. Know your fucking place. We'll make it through. Don't worry. Just focus, Hasan. It's okay. Why are you guys so dressed up today? It's a good question. Wait, you're the guest. Yeah. Know your fucking place. This is my podcast now. Know your goddamn place. My place.

This is like the second time that she's on and she runs the show. This is the third time, actually. Like the second time, third time, whatever. This is the third time. And last time you were on, Ray, everybody got very upset because Hasan and I- No, no, no. That was the first time. The first time you were on. That was the first time she was Hasan and I... No, no, no. That was the first time. The first time you were on.

That was the first time she was on. Second time we redeemed ourselves. Yes, which is great. But the first time we had you on, it was the three of us. Yeah. And I talked to Hasan. We talked way too much. But I was also jet lagged, remember?

That's true. And you're also jet lagged again. I'm jet lagged again. In a different country. But we're going to make it up to you. Ray, why are we dressed like this? Let me explain. What had happened was Austin took us out to some high tea in London today.

I did. There's a major dress code. And if you don't dress the code, you're not allowed in. That's right. We went to the Ritz. We went to the Ritz for afternoon tea. You just did it again. How dare you?

Know your place. Know your place. We said high tea. I don't know what that is. It is high tea. She's correct. I don't know what that is. Americans don't know what that is.

The experience we did was called high tea. So we decided to go to high tea. Actually, Hassan decided. Hassan decided. No. Actually, it was your idea? Yeah. Hassan decided to go to high tea. He said, Austin, I really want to go to high tea. Actually, Hassan decided. Hassan decided. No. Oh, actually? It was your idea? Yeah, Hassan decided to go to high tea.

He said, Austin, I really want to go to high tea. That's not true. I don't even know what high tea is. And he makes me book the reservation, Ray. Oh, my God. Makes me book it on my credit card and then leaves the table early to go have a beef Wellington. Well, she was there. I was there.

Sticks me with the 500 pound bill. We both stuck you. 500 pounds. 500 fucking quid, yeah? Get fucked, Austin. 500 pounds. This guy's a multi-guzzillionaire. Listen, one of my favorite pastimes is to get Austin to pay for shit.

We went to Deschum the other day, okay? Wonderful Indian joint. I mean, absolutely just carrying the entire British cuisine on its back single-handedly. We go there. I call for the check on my way to the fucking bathroom. Okay? On my way to the washing closet, right?

That's what they say out here, if you know what I fucking mean. All the British washers out there. The washing closet. Right? I'm on my way down there. Taking a willy out. Taking a willy out

on a fucking walk, yeah? Taking a piece. And I come back. So you exposed yourself in the middle of the restaurant. In the washing closet. Oh, in the washing closet. Where you're supposed to do that. Right.

Anyway, I come back. The check is just sitting there on the table. I look at Austin just unflinching. He's like, oh, I couldn't find my wallet. No, because Ray, this guy sets the check down and guts up and goes to the bathroom. That's not true. I wasn't even there when the check came. No, the check.

Yeah, he asked for the check. I called for the check on the way to the bathroom. And then he goes to the restroom. On purpose. Which is iconic because he wanted to see if I would pay for it. And I stood my ground. I'm proud of you for standing your ground. Why do you make it out to be like a civil rights moment? Because it is.

He thinks gay people should pay. Yes. He thinks we should incorporate a gay tax, right? Can you believe that? I do. I want to gay tax you. Yeah, he wants to gay tax you. Yeah, which I did.

I gay taxed the shit out of you today. So let me tell you another thing that he did. He makes me pay for, first he wanted me to pay for that meal, which I didn't. I stood my ground. Next, he kidnaps me and makes me buy, I want to say $1,800 worth of clothes, okay? And then makes me book a reservation and then 500 pounds of afternoon tea. Fuck yeah. All right?

I've spent 2,000 pounds plus the airfare to get out here. I'm in this trip probably $10,000. Okay? And it's not even an exaggeration. Yo, that's so fire. And what do you think the consequences of this guy should be? I'm going to go steal everything at his house. I feel like he does owe you a new attire because you didn't like this attire that you're wearing today.

No, it's great. You look great. You look awesome. I think he owes me a show. I don't. Hassan did force Austin to pay for the cab on the way here as well. That's true. He also forced you to pay for the cab.

It's awesome. It's my favorite. I don't know why. It makes me feel so good. Why do you do that? I don't know. It just feels so good when he pays me. Why do you do that?

I love paying for my friends, okay? I love paying for my friends and family. Austin is not one of them. Yeah. Austin is neither. I don't know why you enjoy making me pay for shit. Because you get so mad. I do.

I mean, I do. You have enough money to pay for all of it, and so do I, obviously. And I do. I pay for all jokes aside. I pay for a lot of stuff. It's fine. But it's just always so sweet to get you to pay for it. I mean, he loves this.

I'm telling you, ever since I stole that $2,000 jacket that he bought me. I did, yeah. Ever since then, he's been really, really piling it on. Wait, that he bought you. Wasn't that for someone else? I didn't actually buy that for you. Yeah, that was for someone. But you stole that.

I did steal it. I mean, right, do you think maybe we're a little equal? Gay activities, just life of deceit. I still think he owes you. Yeah, well, you know, I think so. Especially because you didn't even drink the tea at the high tea. That's true. No, I did.

I drank like two cups. This guy goes to high tea. Two cups? Yeah. I did. This guy goes to high tea, right? Yeah. We were all sitting together. No, I did. I drank like two cups. This guy goes to high tea. Two cups? Yeah. I did. This guy goes to high tea, right? We were all sitting together. And he proceeds to shit on the high tea.

It was so bad. Yeah, he shit on it. I got a lot of words for this. You know what? I want to dial it back real quick. There's so much that we need to talk about. So much has happened. My eyes are closing, but don't worry. I'm not not actually falling asleep i'm just running on three hours of sleep

since yesterday so i went to bed at like 7 a.m woke up at 10 so i'm i'm a little tired right now i'm on my third rebel once i guzzle this down i'm gonna be able to keep my eyes open but so much has happened that led us to this very moment, to this rooftop right here where it's like sub-40 degrees right now and where there's no lumbar support. My back fucking hurts like a bitch. Already. We just got here. Already. I'm sitting and I'm like, oh, God, this sucks.

And there's crazy noises. There's a party going on downstairs. Yeah. Stay on track, Asan. Your ADD is getting out of control. Anyway, listen. We came out here with big hopes and dreams. I thought I would get to

link up with Jeremy Corbyn. I thought I would get to link up with Mick Lynch, the leader of the Railroad Union. For those of you that only watch Fear Ant, obviously we don't talk about politics, but that's what I do. I'm a political commentator. No way. I didn't know that. I was excited for the

Sidemen collab that we were potentially going to do with Zuka. Of the Sidemen. One-seventh of the Sidemen. And none of those things happened. Like, everything fell apart. I don't even like England. I fucking hate London. I just, I hate coming to the

United Kingdom. And we did it. We did it. Ray had a very eventful uh yeah which we're gonna talk about most which we will talk about immediately after this but like yeah everything fucking fell apart first day we come in austin just checks into his hotel okay and then fucks right off like he's just gone for like a for like a good 24 hourhour time period where Austin was just like nowhere to be fucking found. I was sleeping like a human. Yeah, for 24 hours, which is weird.

You're hibernating at that point. It's not 24 hours. Just like an otter because he is an otter. I'm not an otter. He is an otter. I'm a jock. Anyway, so he's hibernating for 24 hours. We can't find him.

And then he does something that is truly unacceptable, which is teach me that there are blackout curtains in my hotel room. There is. Oh, there's no way you're blaming Austin for this. This is the reason. Back me up on this. Back me up on this. Listen, the reason why we can't have Josh Zucker on this episode of the Fear Out podcast when we're supposed to do it is twofold.

You're leaving out a cheeky little detail, aren't you, little Hassan? I need to be serious. You're leaving out a little detail. What happened? I need to be frank with you guys. Cass is an addiction, and it's Legend of Zelda. Wait, hold on. I need to be frank with you guys, okay?

It's not an addiction. It's fine. I don't have a problem. I have one problem. I have Austin by my side. It's fine. I don't have a problem. I have one problem. I have Austin by my side. That's right. Austin came into my room. Austin came into my room and was like,

these are the blinds that you can use in your room. And I usually have a pretty good circadian rhythm. I'm pretty solid. I can wake up before my alarm clock fairly regularly. I went to sleep on Friday night at around 4 a.m. after giving you guys eight hours of content, as always, because I'm selfless like that. Well, not Friday.

I guess it was Thursday to Friday, Friday morning. Yeah, Friday morning. I woke up at, unfortunately, 1230 to a bunch of phone calls, a bunch of text messages. No one showed up in my room, for the record, to wake me up. People being like, yeah, what's up with the podcast? I guess we're not doing it. This motherfucker's telling time

like it's 600 B.C. from the sun. I'm just saying. Like a Mayan. I'm just saying. Austin is at fault. Use an alarm clock. Austin is at fault. Use an alarm clock. Austin is at fault because he turned. I slept through my alarm clocks. Austin is at fault because he showed me the blinds in my room,

the no sunlight blind curtain that you pulled up ruined me, devastated me. It's your fault. That's the reason why we couldn't do a podcast with Josh Zerka. But realistically, we have the beautiful, the wonderful, the fabulous, the iconic, the Beyonce of our industry, Valkyrie. Oh, my God. The Valkyrie of our industry.

From curtains to Ray. Yes, from curtains to Ray. I hear they call Beyonce the Valkyrie of music. They really do. Oh, my gosh. That's offensive. Unlike us, you have had a very productive trip. Yeah. What have you done on this trip, Ray?

Talk to us about it. Oh, God. I have never been more overexerted in my life. We get here. These boys are in London, and I go to Birmingham. Disaster, by the way, right? Birmingham is... Don't go there on vacation.

That is not a vacation place to go. Oh, no. I was just about to book my flight to Birmingham for vacation. Don't go there on vacation. That is not a vacation place to go. Oh, no. I was just about to book my flight to Birmingham for vacation. Don't go there on vacation. Stayed at probably the worst hotel I've ever been at in my life. There was no water. You have to crank the toilet to flush it. And, yeah, it was just quite smudgy.

But I was there for three days, and I filmed five shoots for Gymshark. Wow. Godark. Wow. Goddamn. Incredible. Incredibly jet lagged. Struggling to get here. Got to London. Had a meet and greet.

And then I find out I'm going to be on the podcast on my one day, my one free day in London. I'm doing a podcast. Well, I mean, Rae, thank you for sacrificing. It is such a beautiful day. Thank you guys for coming with me. Yeah. You mean, Ray, thank you for sacrificing. It is such a beautiful day. Thank you guys for coming with me. Yeah. You know? Yeah, it's so wonderful.

I'm glad you guys came so I didn't have to come here alone. But, um... Ray, was it as bad as this hotel that looked like it was bombed in the Second World War? Right over here? This travel lodge? It was equally as bad as that one. Okay. This hotel, you guys can't see it, but this hotel looks like it's out of, like, a post-apocalyptic

Call of Duty. It feels like the IRA almost took out Margaret Thatcher in there. It looks ridiculous. Can we snap a photo of that and put that in there? But listen, they only needed it. Okay. She needed to be lucky every day. The IRA only needed to be lucky once.

But regardless, you know, speaking of bombing London Oh my god dude The fucking weather is awful And you're making us sit out here She's tired and you're making us sit out here I feel great now You're such a liar I'm not shaking anymore I grew up in Washington

I'm used to this So Ray what was your favorite part I'm not used to it Oh my gosh It was a women and enbies only event What was your favorite part? Tell us about your meet and greet. I'm not used to it. Oh, the meet and greet? Oh, my gosh. Meet and greet was great. It was a women and enbies only event. Yes. Capped at 160 people.

It was a free event, and it quote, unquote, sold out in the first 10 minutes, which was incredible. Yeah. I thought I was going to pass out during the meet and greet, but it was really good. It was really good. Austin came, and Hasan was streaming Legend of Zelda. Yeah, that's right. I came exclusively to support Rey, which I did.

He did have his meet up. Hold up. Hold up. I didn't come because I am actually a nice person. I was like, well, women and enbies, I'm neither. I'm going to stay the fuck out of this. Also, I don't want to, you know, steal someone else's thunder, which I never could anyway.

He thought he was going to steal my thunder. I never could anyway. But my point is, Austin loves being the main character. That's crazy. That's why he came. He might act like he came to show support. The real thing was he wanted to go there so he could fucking take photos with fans, which is his favorite thing to do.

I'm so glad you came, Austin. Thank you. Thank you so much. The support was so great. I came to the event, and a few people did notice me. Yeah, a few did. But I was quick to redirect the attention straight on to you. Austin literally said, I was crowd surfing.

That was not. He did say that. He also forged my signature. Okay. For a fan. I did, but that was upon their request. Yeah, yeah. They wanted to see how much I could, how accurately, and it was pretty close.

I just wanted you guys to understand what his motivations were. They were not pure. They were impure. His motivations were bad. I think, no, look, I went there to support Ray, and everybody in the chat believes it. It was a win-win. You were supporting me and also people were supporting you. You are a slut for attention.

Look. You're a whore. Look, I've never been a man. I've always done this. I've never done this for the crowds. I've always been. I love it for the craft. And truly, I get overwhelmed by being recognized.

And it's not one of my favorite things. Yeah. Everyone knows you. So you can keep lying all you want, but we all know what the fucking real reason was that you went to the Women in Envy's only event. But gays, too, right? No. They expanded it last minute.

They included. There were other men there, too. Probably working the facility. Yeah, they were working. I was the only one. You were working the crowd. Maurizio was there. Yeah, Maurizio, I was the only one. You were working the crowd. Maurizio was there? Yeah, Maurizio there for like an actual work related.

They also thought, I mean, you could say for gay men. Austin was working, okay? He was there for more support. Yeah, he was working the crowd. That's right. I was there for support and elevating the Beyonce of our space in a very premier spot in London. Now, they didn't know I was gay, though. The security guard, I stood right next to him,

and he's like, oh, yeah, mate, you're just sitting here so you can watch the girls leave. I was like... Wait, he said that? Yeah, I was like, what are you... I was like, Jesus. This is what happens.

So I played along. I was like, yeah. I'm a fucking snoozeball. I fucking love women. Fatties is my favorite. Yeah, that's exactly what I did. Yeah. I play along.

You do love straight baiting a lot. I do. I do. I mean, I can't. What am I going to say? Stop the conversation awkwardly and be like, actually, I'm gay. And I don't like that. Yeah, no.

You should be like, no, I want to watch you. No, I'm gay. You literally could have like, no, I want to watch you. You literally could have said, no, I'm gay actually. Also, even if I was straight, that'd be kind of weird. Yeah, no, I know. I'd be like a peeping Tom. But I really didn't actually go along with it. I just went awkwardly.

He went along with it. He's like, yeah, I love pussy. I did not. Fucking fannies, mate. I did not. But you stood there for, she stood there for like three and a half hours to meet fans. That's crazy. Which was amazing.

Yeah. Which is absolutely phenomenal. You know what's not amazing? Your behavior this entire trip. I don't know how the hell. What do you mean? Why are you, okay, you are attacking

Austin too much. He's using the mirroring technique. What is that? I have notes. I have notes. I have notes. I have notes. I have notes.

I have notes. I have notes. I have notes. I have notes. I have notes. I have notes. I have notes. I have notes.

I have notes. I have notes. I have notes. I have notes. Okay, tell me the notes. What do you got? What do you got other than about the conservative policy. I have notes. Okay, tell me the notes. What do you got? What do you got other than you've made me pay for everything? Friday night.

Friday night. Okay. This motherfucker comes on the stream. I like set it up for him. I'm so excited. We're going to watch Donald Trump together. Okay. Okay.

So we watch the Donald Trump town hall. Okay. We watch the Donald Trump town hall together. We're doing the, you know, the Trumpsy. Believe me. Oh my God. Fantastic. Believe me. Vagina the, you know, the Trumps. Hey, believe me. Oh my God. Fantastic. Believe me.

Vagina. She called her cat vagina, folks. We're having a fucking grand old time. Okay. And then this dude turns around and he's like, oh, I'm dozing off. Like I turn around and look at him and he's like, he's like falling asleep. Okay. And I'm super convinced.

I'm like, oh, poor Austin. He probably only got 10 hours of sleep, and he needs a solid 12. So he wants to go to sleep right now. I'm like, Austin, if you want to go to sleep, it's okay. You can leave. You can leave the community. It's fine. They love you.

This is, by the way, after three and a half hours of a one-hour video. Okay. I'm just saying, you love it, and I guess maybe you don't love it as much as the Valkyrie event where you can take photos with the fans. But it's fine. You don't love my community as much. What can I say? So you are falling asleep, and I think, oh, okay. Like, Austin, yeah, go to sleep.

It's fine. He leaves. Next morning, we find out this motherfucker lied And actually went straight to a bar That is not true That is so true I went to the hotel bar Right after I had a few drinks

He also lied about that too He was like Yeah I was just there for like Just like 10 minutes Not there for 10 minutes, for hours. Okay, no, I was there for 40. Drinking free drinks. I was there 45 minutes.

The bartender loved him so much he was like feeding him alcohol. The bartender was really nice. We hit it off and he gave me a few drinks for free. And the reason I did that, Ray, is because I was tired and my sleep schedule was messed up and I needed something to really send me over the edge. Yeah, no, I think it makes sense. I needed a nightcap. And so I went to the bar and I had a few drinks.

Okay? And I don't think that's really unnecessary. Yeah, he's just hunting. What is he, my keeper? Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, no, guys, he was hunting twinks. What is he, like, clocked in to be on stream? Now, that is not true.

He was looking around. No, I was not. What do you say to the allegations that in the Discord you wrote, is London twink central? That's what I'm hearing. No, I was not. What did you say to the allegations in the Discord you wrote? Is London twink central? That's what I'm hearing. No, no, no, no, no. I did say that, but that was in response to somebody saying London is twink central.

It has no interest to me, though. It's not what I'm here for. I'm here for business. Yeah. He looks the other way when he sees a twink walking down the street. They've even come up to me. Oh, my God, oh, my God, Austin Show. I said, no, I'm here for business, strictly professional. That's never happened.

What are you saying? Oh, my God, it's you. That's what they say. I heard it. Yeah, see, she heard it last night. They're like, aren't you in The Walking Dead? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

You're that sheriff, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hassan is a liar. Are you guys okay? Who do you believe? Did I call you Ray? You called me Hassan. We need sleep.

That's what we need. Who do you believe, Ray? Hassan or myself? I believe Austin. The man who brought you up on this rooftop was fucking freezing with no room. You're going to look back at this. Exactly. You're going to look back at this, and you're going to be like Beatles and then Valkyrie.

Wow. Look at that. John Lennon was looking at, well, the eye wasn't there in 1969, but I can tell you Big Ben was. And you know what? Actually, that building right there looks like it wasn't there either, so you could get a perfect view of the River Thames in Parliament. And that's what John Lennon and Paul McCartney saw. The River Thames is disgusting. And back then it was even more gross.

Yeah, it was even more gross back then. It was, like, extra toxic. You couldn't even – it had a fucking scent to it, which it still kind of does. God, I hate London. It's so – London's not that bad. Birmingham is questionable. There's eight days out of the year where like...

Yeah, because Birmingham is like the Tampa, Florida of London. I mean, of England, okay? And then London itself is like... Ohio. Right? It's not. It's better than Ohio. The entire country's Ohio, pretty much.

Ay-yi-yi. Ray, do you like the UK? Rate it out of 10 right now. Out of 10? Yeah. Three. A three for you. Well, okay.

To be fair, I haven't really done anything touristy at all. That's not true. We had a high tea earlier. You got beef Wellington at the region. Yeah, she did. I like the mushrooms more than the beef Wellington there. Oh, my God. We got to talk about that.

It's true. Talk about it. Okay. So we go to afternoon tea. And I thought to myself, like, afternoon tea, afternoon shmeet. I'm getting me some fucking beef Wellington. I put my foot through that goddamn door. I went and I bought a fucking suit, which doesn't even fit

me, as you can tell. Okay? Stuck me with the fucking bill. No, I bought my own suit. He's lying. But he's a liar. He's fine. He's a liar. I had to buy the suit. Are you just lying? You bought my suit. Yeah, I did. I bought your suit. Oh, okay. He stole my credit card. Yeah.

Oh, that's the other thing I was going to talk about. Wait, you stole my credit card? No, but I've been charging your name. No, you haven't. Are you serious? The entire time. No, you haven't. So Austin booked my room.

No, you haven't. And he does it because he gets a lot of points out of it. No, that's not true. Okay? And usually I put down my credit card, but this time for some weird reason they didn't put down my credit card. Wait, for the second weird reason, they didn't put down my credit card. Wait, for the second. Because we checked in together.

No. So the room is still under his name. No. And the entire time I've been getting like goodies. All the perks that he gets is like this. What are you like a Halcyon member or something? The top of Marriott ambassador. He's a Marriott ambassador level member, something? No, it's like the top of Marriott ambassador. He's a Marriott ambassador level member, right? So when you're apparently

a Marriott ambassador level member, when you go to like different hotels that are under the Marriott umbrella, they literally suck and fuck you, okay? They basically they, you know those like mint on the pillow shit that your parents just talk about when they go to hotels? Like, this shit's on that. Like, they give you cupcakes

which, yeah, this guy this guy is getting all my perks. They think that I'm him. Yes, they think that I'm him. So they're sending me, like, every time I order room service, they write a well-thought-out, well-crafted note,

like, Mr. Show, thank you so much for your stay and ordering this delicious club sandwich for us at 3 a.m in the morning you are your patronage is wonderful and appreciated uh you know patricia the manager like literally like they're signing it there's like a lipstick she kisses it like sends it over to me like i i come back to the hotel room there's cupcakes in my room every fucking time yeah i told this to him and he's like where the fuck are my cupcakes? Yeah, I didn't get any cupcakes.

I didn't get a handwritten letter. I didn't get a thank you for your loyalty. I didn't get anything. And now, apparently, I'm finding out, Ray, that I've been charged for all his room expenses. Why are you doing this to Austin? What happened? But Hasan doesn't know.

It's absolutely not true, because I took his card and inserted it into the machine and charged it. I don't know. I absolutely did. They keep saying Mr. Show every time they talk to me. It's because I booked the reservation. His name is on the reservation.

Your card is on the reservation. I don't think you're right. They just don't care about you. That's why. I don't think you're right. They don't care because you're not a loyal Marriott ambassador. I'm not. But I get all the perks, so it doesn't matter to me. Yeah, but you're paying for your

room. Let's be clear. I thought you stole my credit card. I know. We'll see about that. He was so proud. How has your experience been? Well, all I need to do is because they called me Mr. Show, all I need to do is literally put your room number down when I eat downstairs. Don't you dare. Which I've been doing. No, you

have not. Yes, I have. What's my room number? I'm not going to say it. What was? Wait, why? Say it. 424. Fuck. You'll have to bleep that out, actually. Wait, this isn't coming out. Actually, yeah, it's not going out. Oh, shit. It's called social engineering, baby.

Dude, you have not been charging it Have you? Yes I have 100% Dude I could have charged With March I got him food too Wait did he actually

Don't drag March into this Did he actually Yeah breakfast Yeah Are you serious? Yeah Dude But they keep saying

I can't believe he's doing this to you So I have to be like Ray this is criminal No don't worry When I go there I'm like I'm so gay by the way Oh come on I'm actually legitimately upset, I'm so gay, by the way. Oh, come on. I'm actually legitimately upset.

Ray, I'm going to go complain at the desk. I'm going to say an unauthorized user has been charging and mistaken. I'm actually legitimately going to do that. I walk over. I walk over. I'm like, hello, I'm Mr. Show, and I'm gay. That's typically how I speak. Ray, this is abusive, isn't it?

Where are the twigs? I'm trying to figure out where all this, like, underlying resentment he has towards you has come from. He's a foe! I am. Pride month is coming up. Oh, God. Oh, no.

Don't get me fucking started. It's like when tensions are hot on the South China Sea. Right? When there's military drills, that's like pride tensions are hot on the South China Sea. Right? When there's military drills, that's like pride month for him. So the tensions are rising. He's got to ramp up. I'm circling the wagon. Yeah, he's got to ramp up the posturing and hatred towards gay people.

This is a no politics podcast. Sorry. We don't do politics on the podcast. Sorry. Oh, sexuality is politics? Yeah. Yeah, really? He's talking about the China Sea. Oh, sexuality is politics? Yeah. He's talking about the China Sea.

Oh, shit. No, no, no. That was a reference. No, but sexuality is also politics. Yeah. Which is what we don't talk about. None of that stuff. We're in England. We don't have time for that.

Keep that in the bedroom. None of the gay shit. Yeah. Even in the bedroom. Oh, my God. We went to a breakfast spot the other day. There's an LGBT flag outside. UK Hassan is a different Hassan.

He's a different Hassan. Well, you actually are so different. Is this like jet lagged Hassan? No, this is how I am in the real world. Austin's been talking about this for the longest time. By the way, I'm sick and tired of me being called the diva. Oh, you're both divas. Let's be real.

Okay. Who's more of a diva? Stop. You can't lie. I'm not going to. And it's definitely Austin. That's for sure? Stop. You can't lie. I'm not going to. And it's definitely Austin. That's for sure. Okay.

You are the big. Okay. Tell me how Austin is booking all of these things and he's late to every single event. Yes. No. Speak on it. Yes. We were late to high tea, which you booked, right?

That was my booking, but it was for his son. And 12, we were supposed to. Late to every Uber. No, even before then. This morning. Oh, no. This morning, Austin's like, all right, guys. booked right that was my booking but it was for her son we were supposed to every uber no even before then this morning oh no morning os is like all right guys like i guess we gotta go grab like clothes before we go to high t because we have this dress code i'm like okay i wake up late i'm like later than everybody else i'm like fuck i'm so i'm gonna be so late i come downstairs they're already having breakfast os is like yeah sorry You can't get breakfast Cause like you know

We ordered it first Whatever And we don't have enough time I'm like okay that's fine These motherfuckers Didn't get breakfast For another like 40 minutes And then

They were the reason Why we were late to IT I don't know how It's even possible That you were Ahead of everyone In the schedule And you're the one

Who's constantly like Alright 4.30 We're gonna be in the cab Okay And then at 4.25 We're downstairs We're like where the fuck's Austin.30, we're going to be in the cab. Okay. And then at 4.25, we're downstairs. We're like, where the fuck's Austin? He's like, oh, hold on. I'm in the loo.

No, we would have been on time had there not been a protest in central London, a transphobic protest in central London. No, the Turning Point USA was a, or UK was a different protest, I think. Okay, so there was a protest in central London and I ran to the Ritz on foot to make sure that we could get there. Fifteen minutes late,

I had to really convince them. Okay, but like, we didn't have to be late or early. Without punctuality aside, who's a bigger diva? Still you, I think. Austin is 100% still you. Being a diva being late is not diva behavior. Yes, it is. What else is diva behavior that I've done on this trip? Remember what

happened in the Uber today. Can we get some fucking air in here? Okay. Oh, yeah. I absolutely hate my suit. I hate what's going on today. Where's the fucking AC? Okay, I did not say it like that.

She's paraphrasing. It was literally on camera. It's going to be reflected in the water. Oh, God. Okay, shit. I did have a little bit of a shit fit. He was having a rough morning. I was having a rough morning because I was frustrated because I had to buy this suit last minute because Hassan forced me to do it.

Okay, that's true. See, right? He forces me to buy the suit. You know what I should be forcing you? I'm going to force you off this fucking roof. What are you wearing right now? Okay, look. What are you wearing right now?

Look, I only brought ankles. Show the fucking camera. March, is this on camera? He's wearing Nike ankle socks with his fucking loafers, man. I'm about to lose my goddamn mind. I'm about to lose my fucking mind. I told him, stop doing this. I would have never worn these.

The only reason I wore them is because I only brought ankle socks because I wasn't expecting to show them. I mean, this was a last minute thing. Why do you only have ankle socks? Why do you only own ankle socks? Why do you only own ankle socks? Because I can't afford other socks. Because he's busy buying stuff for you. Yeah, thank you.

I'm milking him. Okay, but we need to talk more about him. About how he's high maintenance. Talk about how he's high maintenance. Because it's not fair. I'm not high maintenance. I'm not. It's not fair.

Where do we even begin? Let's start with how Hasan has to stream every single day. Hard worker. Regardless of what other obligations there may be. That's called being a hard worker and loving your fan base and serving them. And he's rude to frontline workers. That's a lie. He is so incredibly rude.

Give an example. Oh, this morning we were at breakfast. That wasn't even rude. We were at breakfast. Tell him. That was not rude. I was not being rude. That's ridiculous. Thank God this wasn't on camera. It would have been over. You would have been done this. That was not rude. I was not being rude. That's ridiculous.

Thank God this wasn't on camera. Yeah. It would have been over. You would have been done for. I talk to people in the exact same way that I would talk to them as though they are my friends. Which is rude. No. No.

It's because I don't take an overly polite tone. That's it. I have a very conversational tone. He does. And I think you can attest to this as well. He does have a conversation. Yeah. I just talk to people that are serving me,

not like they're serving me, but instead, like, I know them. So I'll just sometimes come across as conversational, and you are, you know, to the uninitiated, that is like, whoa, what the fuck? That's weird. That's rude. Hassan with his Instagram voice this morning.

You're busting out all the big guns. You're trying to come at me. You're busting out all the big guns. You started it first. With his Instagram voice. Turns on his Instagram voice. Girl screaming in the background. I was tired. I just woke up.

I was tired. I was up. And so he's like, yo, can I get an Americano? And like, no warm, make the milk cold? That's not what I said.

No warm milk, cold milk. Okay, you're exaggerating. He said something like, I know you guys heat it up. I said, can I get it with cold milk? I know you guys love to heat it up. Yeah, but don't do it. But don't, and then he went like this. No, I didn't do that.

I would never do that. He said, don't do it. And then he proceeded to say, I'll have your fucking job. Yeah, that's what he said. I got up and I beat his ass. He's dead now. I killed him. Hassan also killed another guy that was serving us the beef wellington.

Oh. He asked for a diet Coke. Oh. And the guy comes and he wants to pour the Coke into a glass. And Hassan's like, no, I will fucking kill you if you pour the Coke into that glass. What is happening? That's such a lie. Okay.

That's ridiculous. That sounds like him. And the guy was like, no, we can't have the bottle on the table. Okay, that part is actually true. I did say. I hate drinking out of a glass because when you pour it into the glass and the glass has ice in it, it automatically takes away the carbonation. It's a pet peeve of mine.

It's a little autistic. It's whatever. This okay this is insane if i'm a diva mouthfeel is important to me but of course like it's actually easy it's an easily avoidable problem where i just like whenever they bring a glass i'm like hey i don't need the glass thank you so much i'll just drink it out of the bottle so that's what i said to him and you're making it seem like but then the guy was like, oh, sorry, I can't put it down. We can't put the glass on the table. And you're like, fine. No, I said, oh, okay, it's fine. And then he complained to the manager. No, I did not do any

of those things. I would never do any of those things. But you did think it was stupid. I did give you a diva point in my head for that, for sure. See, diva behavior. Yeah, that was diva behavior. I'm trying to think of another diva thing that you've done. I brought you into the Beef Wellington journey and this is how you repay me? That's insane. It was mid. It was so mid.

March wanted to eat that Beef Wellington so bad. You should have went, March. You know what, March? You should have came instead. Not this ungrateful demon, okay, who sat there, who sat there. By the way, we had to wait for like an hour for the Beef Wellington to come because apparently they have to cook it.

No, they have to do like a ceremony in the background or some shit. And she literally, one, didn't eat the fucking outer pastry crust at all, which I was like, what the fuck are you doing? You're going to eat the pastry? I was so full. I didn't know we were going to eat beef welling. She's lying. She wasn't even full.

You want to know why she's not full? Because she kept eating the fucking side mushrooms and the mashed potatoes. Because it tastes better. Yeah, I was like, what are you doing? Try the Beef Wellington. We just got done eating high tea, little snackies. And then I'm pulled into this Beef Wellington restaurant, which Hassan begged the waiters to give him a room or a table for.

That's true, I did. I didn't even beg. Which was also ridiculous. That was wild. Yeah. Yeah. I can't believe that worked either. I kind of snuck into the room.

The service was shockingly good. Yeah. It was actually very good. We were expecting actually the service to be kind of like hoity-toity. Although they did laugh at my suit. Somebody laughed at my suit. Wait, really? No, they didn't.

I mean, look at my suit. It looks perfectly fine. I love this color on you. Yeah, it's great. You look great. I actually like didn't. I mean, look at my suit. It looks perfectly fine. I love this color on you. Yeah, it's great. You look great. I actually like this suit. I mean, I wouldn't gas you up, but you look great. I don't want to fuck your planning.

Some people say that. Some people say that. Okay. Who? You. You guys. Some people. We are some people.

Marsh, I think I unplugged my mic. No, I didn't. Is it okay? Oh, my God. That is insane, bro. I just want to make sure. How is that even possible? Are we okay?

How are you physically doing this? We good? Test. Oh, it didn't. Is it okay? Oh, my God. That is insane, bro. I just want to make sure. How is that even possible? Are we okay? How are you physically doing this? We good? Test? Oh, it's stuck. Yeah, we should be careful because I may. All right, anyway, we're good. But I was surprised, right? The service is actually.

Yeah, it turns out, like, they don't just wear the penguin suits for no reason. They're like, bro, they are insane over there at the Ritz. Like, honestly, I mean, the food was mid as fuck. Here, I'll give you my review right now, okay? I'll give you my review that the ritz like honestly i mean the food was mid as fuck here i'll give you my review right now okay i give you my review of the ritz first of all i walk in and the lady in the most like in the most almost hysterical fashion was like no no i'm like what she's like you don't have a tie and it made me feel like I was, you know, I was like doing something wrong for being in the presence of the afternoon tea crowd without a fucking tie, even though I'm wearing a goddamn three piece. So she sends my ass back to the coat check. I have to go there.

They have an entire, like, deck of ties. Okay. They pull it out. They're like, so which kind of tie would you like? We have navy? We have navy, we have black, and here's a pompadour, and here's a bow tie

if you'd like a bow tie. Like, they had so many different fucking ties in there. I pick the black one, I come back, I sit down, everyone is like dressed like a commander from a video game or something. Like, the door guys, like the bellhops a commander from a video game or something. Yeah, yeah.

Like, the door guys, like, the bellhops, is that what they're called? I mean, they're not even, like, bellhops, like, younger people. They're, like, you know, 80 fucking years old wearing these, like, crazy fits. Yeah, they're lifelong bellhops. Yeah, I guess they're paid well. I don't know. Oh, they must be. Yeah, they're very well compensated. Everyone's looking crazy.

Everyone's got the penguin fits on and shit. We sit the fuck down. I'm thinking I could get beef wellington there. I was wrong. There's no beef wellington there. They're only serving fucking little sandwiches. That's what high tea is. It was a set menu.

One side of the menu was a bunch of different teas, and the other side shows you what you get, which is like little croissants. Not even croissants. It's like pastries, little sandwiches, scones. Yeah, I'll be honest though, but like how extravagant can a tomato sandwich be? I don't know,

but I'm going to tell you something. I can tell you how shitty it was. There can't be that much variety. It's a tomato sandwich. It's an egg salad sandwich. It was shitty. What do you expect? First of all, how dare you? Egg salad sandwiches are incredible. In Japan, that's all I consume. I'm an egg sandwich egg salad sandwich. It was shitty. What do you expect? First of all, how dare you? Egg salad sandwiches are incredible. In Japan, that's all I consume. Yeah. I'm an egg sandwich connoisseur. Japan's on a whole new level, though.

Yeah. That's like comparing peewee football to the NFL. It's not even federal. I'm just saying, I love egg salad sandwiches, and I thought the Ritz would be a banger. You know what I mean? And it was not. It was mid as fuck. I will let you know.

Like, half of the sandwiches in the variety pack that they give you were not good. We are probably now banned from the Ritz. I don't give a fuck. There's no way we're ever going to be able to go to the Ritz again. I won't be going back. I will be wearing a funny disguise next time I go there anyway. So you will never be able to catch me. I'm going to wear, like, glasses and a mustache, fake nose, and a monocule.

Dude, you're 6'8". Yeah, they're going to be like, that's the guy that didn't have a tie two years ago. I'm going to be like, I'm Sir Barnacle. How dare you? Sir Barnacle Barnaby the Third. And they're going to turn you right around. Yeah, they're going to be like, oh, my God, Mr. Barnaby Barnacle. Sorry.

Sorry for the tardiness. Sorry for the delay. But, Ray, overall, your experience was very good. Oh, where? At the Ritz. Oh, the Ritz. Sorry for the delay. But, Ray, overall, your experience was very good. Oh, where? At the tea? The Ritz. Oh, the Ritz? You liked the tea.

She loved it. I just don't like the little rules, you know? Like the little, you have to wear things. I had to Google, what can I wear to hide tea? We're from the wrong generation. Yeah, that's what they had to do about it? Well, everyone there was like 85 years old. Everyone was very old.

I read something online. They were saying, I was reading 85 years old. I read something online. They were... I was reading about the history. And they were very proud that they were the first ever... Get this. The first ever location to allow women to eat unchaperoned. That's why Austin tried not to go there. Because he hates women.

He was like, what? I don't want this woke nonsense. I'm gay. That's what he said. That is natural. He was like, what? I don't want this woke nonsense. I'm gay. That's what he said. That is natural. It was interesting though because when you asked to eat the beef Wellington,

they said it's a minimum. You had to have two people, right? To get a table. Yeah. Two people. Yeah. Two people had to. Yeah.

So we couldn't like get everyone to go. Yeah. Even though the table was a five person table. The table was big enough for five people. Yeah.

But they only had, yeah, they only had two chairs set up. Only two chairs. Right. I think it's because they have it, like, no, no, no. I think they allot it by, they allot it by, like, what availability they have for food. Oh, that makes sense. It's a pre-fixed menu, usually. Yeah.

It makes sense. I mean, everyone was, like, celebrating their 65th anniversary or some shit. We just barged in. And then we're over there sitting there waiting, no food in front of us for like an hour and 30 minutes waiting for this fucking Beef Wellington. And then she doesn't even eat the Beef Wellington. She starts eating the fucking side dishes. Yeah, people have been like a gremlin. They're really good side dishes.

People save the lifetime to eat there. And Hasan just rolls in like it's a fucking another Saturday. First and foremost, I only spent 180 euros, and then I gave an extra additional gratuity tip of 60 fucking pounds last. He did, it's true, I was a witness. Wait, there's no way

that was only 180 pounds, and I paid 500 pounds. You paid 500 for like a couple fucking sandwiches, bitch. Let's go. I am going to actually, when I go back to the hotel. You're going to sue. No. I'm going to go back to the hotel, and I'm going to go to the front desk.

I kid you not. I'm going to say there seems to be some sort of mistake. No. No, no, no. They're going to kick me out. They're going to evict me. I'm going to say. You're not Mr. Show. Get the fuck out of here.

I'm going to say there seems to be some sort of mistake. This credit card should have actually been to cover both of our rooms And see what they do You should do that I want to see what happens You should vlog it, Marsh You won't even feel it I'm going to

Yeah, you should vlog it Dude Dude If you pull some fucking fast shit I will literally assume your identity so fast You'll be like Jason Bourne Wait, wait I will literally walk up there and be like Excuse me, I will literally assume your identity so fast, you'll be like, Jason Bourne. Wait, wait. I will literally walk up to him and be like, excuse me,

I'm Mr. Show. This man is an imposter, like, among us. Yeah. Okay. We'll see about that. He won't even know. He's going to forget about this. He's going to start thinking about Zelda or something. Oh my god. That's true. Playing with his DS. What are you, 80? It's a switch.

Jerking off to Zelda porn like he does. Okay? What the fuck? That was private, dude. He definitely does that. That's private. That was private. You literally tweeted that.

I'm going to charge his car. Yeah, he tweeted that. In 2019. Yeah, he tweeted that. That's the last time I jerked off to video game porn. Not Zelda porn. Yeah. No, I've never jerked off to Zelda porn.

He wanted to bring Zelda to the high tea today. Yeah, he did. He really did. high tea today. Yeah, he did he really He's more high maintenance than I am right no no That's it. I'm like a big ass kid, but look the only I've never really I will say that that air conditioning moment Was that one of my you're a diva that was one time though. You're You're consistent really okay? I might have seen I might. You're consistently late. Really? I might have seen that side. You're consistently late to everything. That's different. You have a lot

of expectations out of everything. You complain more than I do, and I love complaining. That's not true. That is not true. Hassan is the king of complaining. Thank you. I get the job done, and I'm there on time. But I love complaining. You're both a mess. Just like Zerko was supposed to be on the podcast. Way to get that job done, fucking

putz. One fucking time. One time. I mean, this is a pretty big time for you to miss the podcast. All jokes aside, this is probably the first in my career where I've overslept ever, and usually I'm the responsible one,

and I will not be shifting blame to Austin. That was just for jokes. Good. It was my fault. This is self-development progress. I'm proud of you. We're making contact when I'm shitting on him. Obviously it's my fucking fault.

I overslept. Even though, you know, blackout curtains, also no place to shoot a podcast. No place that we had set up for a podcast. I'm the one who's booking everybody. I feel like I'm not getting enough credit for booking this iconic location. You said booking everybody? Where are the UK guests? Well, yeah, that's why I fucked up.

I couldn't do it. And I had to book Ray. I can't believe. I did. I had to book Ray. I said, Ray, please. Oh, did you? Please, would you come on the podcast?

That's how it went. He said, pretty please. Yeah, I said, pretty please. And she said, absolutely. I'll do it for you, Austin. I said, you know what, Austin? Since you're gay, I will. Thank you.

Thank you. See? This is what, see, being gay adds value to your life. Ray, he hates women. That's why he's gay. Because I love women. He hates women. You don't love women.

He only loves women for their bodies. You don't even kiss or have sex with women. He's sick. You literally only fuck men. He thinks of women as objects. That's all he, exclusively. Why don't you fuck women too, Austin? What the fuck?

You know what? Maybe I will. Yeah, exactly. He would do it for attention. Maybe I will. He would. He would. If there was like a cutie who was giving him attention, he would play the role.

He would straight bait the whole night. I do like to straight bait a little bit. He does, but I don't follow through. Where do you think that stems from? What do you mean? Where do you think that derives from? Why do you like straight baiting? I like attention.

Yes. It's the same principle behind why he came to your Women in Envy's Only Event. I'm glad he came regardless. That's different. That's different. A supportive friend. I was there to support you, Ray.

Thank you. You met some fans, you forged some signatures. I did. And you passed some time. I did feel a little uncomfortable that they had the personalized Valkrey signature thing and people were asking me to sign it. Yeah, yeah.

It's because some people kept missing, forgetting to. I did. I was like, this is very out of line. He's like, come on. It was weird because they brought the same one to me to actually sign. And my name was already on it? Austin's name was on it. And then there's two forged Valkyrie signatures.

Oh wait, you forged one as well? Yeah, Marsh forged one. They both looked identical to me. They did look good. I already signed this, right? I was like, did they like try to sign my signature because they missed? It was strange. Yeah, but it was me. And I don't know why they did try to do that.

It was Austin the whole time. Yeah, it wasn't enough that he was signing all of the fucking panels. He had to sign your signature too on some of them. Yeah, I did. I love that. I did have to do that. Marsh, what are we at right now, time-wise? Okay.

50 minutes? Yeah. Well, we're going to do a – after this, now that we're done with the – We're doing pretty good, though. Free part of the podcast. We're going to move on to – I thought it was two hours already. Yeah, we'll do a little bit more.

Okay. All right, we'll cut this part out. No, no, we'll cut this part out where I'm asking for time. It's bad content. Yeah, it's like a – Well, no. We'll cut this part out where I'm asking for time. It's bad content. It's like a... So what's next? What's after the UK, lads? Where are you going? What's the plan? I'm fucking

staying home and never leaving home ever. Even though I have TwitchCon EU and I do actually have... Oh, we're going to New York. Yeah. Ray and I are going to New York together. I'm not going to New York. You guys have fun. No, Hasan and I are going... Hasan needs to come to New York. Ray and I are going to New York together. I'm not going to New York. You guys have fun. No, Hasan and I are going. Hasan needs to come to New York with us. I'm not coming to New York.

He needs to come to New York with us because then we could do another podcast. I feel like. Wouldn't that be awesome if we all went to New York and our guests fell through and then you had to come on. Oh, my God. Please don't come. For the record. No, I'm not coming. So don't worry.

I will fulfill that easily. For the record, we could have booked guests on this podcast. There are plenty of people that we could have gotten. I wanted to do a personal episode because we have a lot of grief and a lot of drama to address, which we have so far. Austin being a diva.

We can do that in LA. Austin refusing to... But it's fun. It's more fun when we do it in the background with this gray-ass fucking London afternoon. It is iconic. John Lennon looked that way. Yeah, well. You're looking through the eyes of an icon. John Lennon looked through the barrel of a gun, too.

I'm not going to do that. Okay, that is fucked up. He did not. It shot him in the heart. It's different. Okay, well, I'm sure he saw the barrel of the gun. That's sick. You're disgusting.

Right in the place. How disrespectful. That's sick. You're disgusting. Right in the place. How disrespectful. He's going to haunt you. He's going to do, hey, I'm John Lennon. That's not how he sounds. What does he sound like? It sounds like this. Hey, my name's John Lennon.

It's even more annoying than you said previously. I'm the lead singer of the Beatles. Those are both very different accents. This guy's just talking only to you, Mark. Yeah, we got the fucking Fucking Yeah Yeah That's right

Yeah The rest of the podcast Is just these lines We're doing this forever So Ray and I Are going to New York Together Yeah we are

Have fun And we can't talk about it We can't say But it's going to be Very exciting Have fun Doubt it We're going to be

On the cover of Vogue I'm kidding I'm kidding Leaked I'm kidding going to be on the cover of Vogue. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Leaked. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Wait, aren't you Vogue Valkyrie? I am Vogue Valkyrie.

That's right. That's me. That's right. Are you going to be on like a cover or something? Can you tell us about that? No, it's already come out. It already came out. It already came out.

I'm a terrible interviewer. Not only is he a bad friend, but he's also a hater woman. That's why he fucked it up. No, that's not true. Oh my gosh. Valkyrie, I'm so sorry. That's why he's gay. I'm, that's not true. Oh, my gosh. Valgar, I'm so sorry. That's why he's gay. I'm such a fake fan.

You know what, Austin? You can call me Rachel. Yeah, we're besties now. Oh! I thought that was an insult for a second. I was like, oh, my God. I was like, I can call you Rachel? Yeah, my government name.

That is amazing. Wow. I am so... This is leaked. Such a fucking privilege. My name was leaked so long ago. I just want to say I'm honored. By the way, how does it feel that you are the Queen of England?

What? Oh, shit. She's the Queen of England. Screw the coronation of the King of England. It's the Queen of England. That's why we're here, the coronation of Alcrem. I think this is one of your gayest qualities, when you gas up your lady friends. Yeah, I do.

I love it. Thank you. You need to start saying the F word more, though. I know. Because you say it all the time. No, he's lying. You said it literally downstairs. He's lying.

Five minutes before the podcast. I have never said it, only when I'm asking for a cigarette. Oh. That's how you say it out here. That's right. That's right. I just wanted to, you know, I wanted to be a part of the culture. So you have said it.

No. The words have come out of your mouth. No, not in that context. Yeah. The word we're talking about is maggot, but with another letter in front. Yes. And he says it all the time. I do not.

He said it literally nonstop. Ray, have you ever heard me say it? I've never heard Austin say it. God damn it. Why does everyone lie about this? Thank you. You are both liars. I've learned a lot about you guys during this podcast specifically.

Hassan keeps saying it, and nobody backs him up. What? It starts. What the fuck? Yeah. He just calls me every day. I got a phone call this morning. He's like, hello, this is the front desk.

He's stupid. And then he said it. Oh, my. That's what he said. It was insane, Ray. It was so rude. Someone's going to believe that. Yeah.

Oh, God. That was my wake-up call this morning. Yeah. That was my wake-up call. Yeah, he was rock hard. He was like, what? Yeah. Fuck, I love that.

Yeah, yeah. It was amazing. It was absolutely phenomenal. Are you wearing a cross right now by any chance? Oh my god Okay, that is Ray, don't believe him What? You said it openly

That's true You were so horny for that I think it's kind of hot when a guy wears a cross It's also Okay, can we talk about your new fetish? Oh god Are we allowed? Oh god, yeah

Are we allowed? Yeah, sure, fuck it He has a birthing fetish now No, that is not Okay, now The way you frame it like that I'm sorry, what? That is not No, he wants a twink with now. No, that is not. Okay, now, the way you frame it like that. I'm sorry, what? That is not.

No, he wants a twink with his son. No, that is. Yes. That is. Yes. He texted it to me the other day. He's like, I do want a father. I want to be a father.

He texted. But you don't. He said he wants a daddy. No, he didn't say I want to be a father. He said I want a father. He said I want a father. I saw this hot guy, and he had a kid. And I was like, whoa.

It's funny because last week we were talking about kid. And I was like, whoa. It's funny because last week we were talking about this and I was like, yeah, for like the first five years, I'm not going to be around. He's like, I'm going to have a kid and then I'm going to fuck off. In my defense, kids are boring for the first two years, right? There's always a hot

twink dad to take care of the kids. Kids are a little boring for the first few years. Boring. They're not like some entertainment item, Austin. Well, no. Look, I would be in the picture. He's right. Kids are no content.

I agree. I would be. I'll be in the picture for the first few years. I'll be there. Wait. No, they do content. Their first words, the first time they walk, first few steps. Boring.

I can say so many fucking words. I can walk pretty easily Get a new hobby Okay Get better at a skill Develop a skill Yeah Well you know look

I'm gonna be a great father I think between the two of us I'm gonna actually be there Okay He's gonna be screaming all the time Are you talking to me? That's kind of true Are we having children together?

No What the fuck Since when is this happening? Look Hasan I'm not your type Yeah who would be the better dad Out of you two? Me having children together? Since when is this happening? Look, Hasan, I'm not your type. Yeah, who would be the better dad out of you two? Me?

Is that even a question? No, I genuinely, I think Austin's right. I don't think you'll be there. Yeah, he's going to forget that he has a kid and like leave them at the park or something.

I'm an incredible father. I am an incredible father. I would be the father. You're going to sleep through your alarm. Yeah, true. Missed a podcast with your kid. He's going to charge the baby. Charge the baby. He's going to sleep through your alarm. Yeah, true. Miss a podcast with your kid.

He's going to charge the baby. I've been alive. I've been alive. Charge the baby. I'm going to steal the baby's credit card. I've been alive for 32 years of my life, and that's happened one time, and now they never let me live it down. That's just the beginning.

Austin is late all the fucking time. Nope. When I have a child, a child that will be created in the eyes of the Lord. When your surrogate is literally in the emergency room delivering or in the fucking operating theater, wherever the fuck they deliver babies, you're going to be at the Abbey sucking on twink nipples. Okay, look.

Like a baby. Well, look, and the baby won't remember that time of their life. That's his argument. That's literally his argument. I mean, he's celebrating. He's a new dad. I will be by the side of my surrogate. Okay?

I will be hand by my surrogate. Hand inside of her. Grabbing the baby out. Guiding my child into the world. All right? I mean, look. Am I surrogate? I don't know.

Will you be my surrogate? Holy shit. Wait, have I asked her that? Oh, I asked cutie. Will you be my sir? Wait, have I asked her that? Oh, I asked Cutie. You asked Cutie. What'd she say? She said no. She said fuck no. She said no.

Cutie also has like the vagina thing that like she can't even have sex normally. Wait, I'm sorry. Maginismus. What? What is that? She has a vagina issue from psychological trauma. Whoa, I didn't know that. What do you mean?

We talk about Cutie's vagina every episode. I miss Cutie Cinderella. I do too. She would have been here if she wasn't a fucking coward. She's afraid of flying. She's terrified of flying. Understandably so. It is not my surrogate, so Ray's going to be my surrogate.

I'm going to have to respectfully decline. Whatever. It's a ridiculous thing to ask people. I think it's a... I'm asking all of our female guests if they'll be your surrogate. What the fuck? And our co-host. This is Austin's thing.

That's why he's a birthing family. No, there's zero sexual part of this. It's beautiful. It's natural. Yeah. Would you guys watch a live birth? Yeah. I did. I literally... You watch a live birth? I did.

You watched a live birth? Yes, this week as a matter of fact. Shouts out to Kevin Gates. He posted, this was all over Twitter. You guys are so offline. You don't know anything. Anyway, it's fine. You are chronically online. Yes, I am. I am literally I'm like the fucking minority

baby in Minority Report. That's like sitting in that fucking vat and seeing the future. That's me, okay? I'm doing crime think. I'm doing predictions on what's going to happen. Kevin Gates, famous rapper. Kind of famous rapper. Kind of a weirdo. He posted a birthing that was happening in a home uh for uh black maternal health week i guess that's like instagram allowed that to be uh allowed that to stay up because they i guess they think it's like technically medical uh stuff and it was like this lady who was um posted up

over her drawers with like like pushing out a child with like puppy pee pads underneath. And I watched it. Wow. Yeah, I watched the whole thing. That is... It was terrifying. Beautiful and natural. No, it was fucking terrifying, dog.

It's so beautiful. I've never seen a live birth. Really? Well, like, no, like straight up see the baby come out of the vagina let me tell you something that I will scar your life there is nothing more beautiful than a woman giving birth I'm gonna throw this out is it because she's in pain Austin no that's how much you hate women

why are you turning on me Rachel why are you turning on me Rachel he's rubbing off on me I guess guess. Yes, he is, clearly. Bullying Austin. You're starting to see the truth about Austin's mischievous and also women-hating ways. Now, look. Now, Hasan, before we enter the paywall period of this podcast. Where we will admit that Austin is a misogynist once and for all. Well, you have to tune in.

You have to pay to find out. I'll talk about my vagina. Yeah, Ray's going to talk about it. Behind the paywall. I didn't say it. I didn't say it. I just got dollars back. Patreon.com slash fear end. Yep.

Where Ray and I will be talking about our vaginas. Okay. Patreon.com slash fear end. Now, before we go, though, Hasan. Yeah, what's up? I want to tell you something more iconic than this rooftop. I want to tell them...

Yeah, don't you have a confession or something? I do. This is not that rooftop. I lied to you. He straight up lied and told me at the beginning of this that he was lying. This is not the Beatles rooftop in the 1960s. This is just a random rooftop in London, and it has nothing to do with the Beatles at all.

And I knew that from the beginning. This guy was on his phone telling his family. Wait, you told your family? He told his family. He was on the phone. It's literally, it's hard not to be homophobic. It's hard. It's hard not to be, like.

Hey, Ray went along with it. She knew, too. I did. I did. No, I'm so sorry. I was an ally for 31 years of my life. 32 years of my life. I got through the entire podcast.

We brought it up, like, multiple times. Many times. And somebody's going to be in the comment section, and they're going to edit their comment because they finally found out that we revealed it at the end of the podcast. Okay, first and foremost, the worst part about it is that I don't give a fuck about the Beatles. So I'm just, like, hyping it up, like, because I think, like, you know, maybe people will find it cool. Maybe my family will find it cool. I don't give a fuck about the Beatles, dog.

Yeah, and he was telling everybody. He did tell everybody. I don't even know, like, who the Beatles are, like, who the fucking Beatles peoples are. We should have kept it going, took, like, everybody. He did tell everybody. I don't even know who the Beatles are. Who the fucking Beatles peoples are. We should have kept it going, took a photo, made a tweet. The iconic Beatles rooftop. I hate you so much. I hate you. I'm going to hate crime him behind the paywall.

I see where the resentment is stemming from now. Yeah, do you get it? She's a bad person. Both of you are. Ray was into it, though. Yeah, I knew. You're a bad person, too. I mean, he said, I'll confess at the end of the pod.

I did. Oh, so it's okay. I was like duped. It's an hour. It's an hour. It was good. It's an hour. Duped for an hour.

It was a good little joke, and I'm sure everybody in the comments. You have met my parents multiple times. I'm going to tell them. I'll call them and apologize. I'm going to be like, this is the mischievous gay man who lied to you. He is deceptive. Do not trust him anymore. Look, I.

You've made them homophobic, too not trust him anymore. You've made them homophobic too. I do apologize. I do apologize. I apologize to your family and the entire country. Apologize to the gay community for making me homophobic. I apologize to the gay community. Don't apologize, Austin. Get wrecked. Fuck you. Get duped. Whatever Rachel says.

What do you want to promote? Oh. Oh. I'm just Valkyrie yes that's bitch she's just Valkyrie bitch it's paywall time right guys yes bitch on our conversation fear and behind paywall crime Austin. Pussy and hate crimes. I've got some serious fun. It's wild that you literally had to buy your own ticket. I wanted to. I even offered myself to do something at TwitchCon.

They're like, no, we're good. That's insane. Why wouldn't they? They don't like me. So you're doing a free meet and greet? Well, I mean, I definitely just bulldozed yours. You paid for your own Twitch content kit, and you're doing featured content creator shit

that they should at least contractually obligate you to do. Antipiker, make this a thread.