Fear& - Bring QT Cinderella home! | Fear&

Episode Date: February 17, 2025

✨EXTRA BONUS EPISODES ON PATREON✨ Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/FearAnd 🎧 AUDIO PLATFORMS 🎧 🔊https://linktr.ee/fearand ❤️ follow Fear&! ❤️ Hasan: https://twitter.com/Hasanthehun Will: https://twitter.com/TheWillNeff QT: https://twitter.com/QTCinderella Austin: https://twitter.com/Austinontwitter Marche: https://twitter.com/Marche Fear&: https://twitter.com/FearAndPod Chapters - 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:23 - this is the last of japan talk I swear to god 00:04:55 - even more montoya por favor 00:08:31 - oh no montoya por que 00:12:50 - Zocdoc 00:14:16 - wills most tragic moment 00:16:30 - jk this is wills most tragic moment 00:18:44 - howie mandel hit by a wine glass or something 00:20:51 - we know we don't mess with the swifties 00:27:49 - elon musk cooked with his reply guy 00:31:22 - obama x hasan fan fic when 00:32:50 - Shopify 00:33:40 - wait we are getting horses for this? 00:37:20 - the trans hate is getting ridiculous 00:41:11 - hasans first prediciton of the year, woke is back? 00:44:12 - we can't believe trump is doing this D: 00:47:34 - we miss you qt cinderella 00:47:54 - pete davidson without tattoos is something 00:52:00 - is there a time to hang up the spurs 00:53:54 - can you be friends with women 00:55:05 - pete davidson getting rid of tattoos is the start of fascism 00:57:48 - planes were running on woke 00:59:07 - new austin show lore just dropped 01:03:31 - someone find us this pilot PLEASE #hasanabi #qtcinderlla #podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh hi there, I'm Norma, the unofficial mayor of the town of Destiny. Speaking of, FanDuel's Kick of Destiny 3 is happening live Super Bowl Sunday. You should watch, it's gonna be a hoot. While you're at it, download FanDuel, North America's number one sports book. You can bet on touchdowns, turnovers, heck, even total kicker points, don't you know? Anywho, enjoy your podcast or whatnot. Please play responsibly, 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling

or the gambling of someone close to you, please go to connectsontario.ca. But it's just like, it's a MAGA influencer. Like what are we, this is like if Barack Obama had sex with, I don't know, me. Like Barack Obama impregnated me. I'm certain there's a fan fiction. Yeah.

Yeah. impregnated me. I'm certain there's a fan fiction. Is it worse? The lighting in here is not worries blended you blended Yeah, all right, I'm ready No, no, we're rolling this is definitely this should be wait you were rolling yeah, it's pretty funny That's funny Welcome aboard welcome to the Fear and podcast joined by three men and one woman who's not here. Yeah, I know. And one man who's not here, March.

And March is not here. Yeah. Who is lost in Japan. No, he's not. He's found. Oh, he's found. No, no, I'm going to kill him when he comes back. I'm going to, I am going to Japanese style assassinate him.

Dude, I'm not a liar. I was watching Way Extreme last night and it made me so sad I couldn't stay. I could not stay. Don't bring it made me so sad I couldn't stay. I could not stay. Don't bring it up. He was just walking through the streets. I was watching Mischief Stream this morning. Will, do you understand the depths of my mania? Do you want to understand how desperate-

No, wait, Austin's gonna say that he doesn't miss it. I've moved on. It's not that I, like I moved on, I moved past it. But I'm still hurting. I've moved on. I'm back. Jamie is over and Jamie is gone. Yeah, like I've moved back. I'm here in the United States of America. I've assimilated back into bad health care and bad politics. Yeah. And I'm ready.

I hate every moment of it. Yeah, because you live it every day. Will and I don't do I hate every moment of it. Yeah, cuz you live it every day Will and I don't do that. We we live normal lives. Yeah. Yeah, I like swapped my Mediterranean chicken that I've had I think every single day for the past two years Chicken now That's how that. What a seismic event. That's a big deal for me.

He also poops on Japan time. Yeah, I did actually poop on Japan time last night. It was crazy. Have you stopped the presses? Yeah. Anyway, look, look, I'm not like talking about being a weeb or an otaku or missing Japan for weeb like purposes.

I do just kind of miss how everything ran smoothly, how we just like had a walkable city. You could just get on a metro whenever you wanted to and it was cool. You could just go to different places and you know see people. It was great. I was so desperate that I am watching mischief. Now I watched his I watched his education. That beauty guy fucked him up. Yeah, I listen, I don't want to talk ill of anybody's fashion because I think he's very good at yes. Yeah, no, I know you're not. But I'm just saying in the specific case of the ms kiffin. No, I know you're not. But I'm just saying in the specific case of Miz Kiff and Hasan,

I don't know if they came out better. No, because they, Japanese beauty centers are very different. That's it. That's it. Like, they just make you gay. Yeah, yeah. They really do. They make you gay in Lebanese. Yeah, they made you gay in Lebanese.

They made Miz Kiff look like a ventriloquist doll. Yeah, they made him look like an angry bird. Yeah, they made him look angry bird, bro. And well, yeah, they painted him orange. Honestly, like I said before he did this, his eyebrows, like his starting point was crazy. If you got eyebrows that are that bushy, obviously like he was looking like the the first Japanese socialist prime minister pull that shit up Okay, look up Japanese prime minister eyebrows like he's he's had those he's had those going sure I do have to say something important. Oh, yeah, what's up bringing a topic transition after we look at these eyebrows?

Okay, look at him with the comb with the comb. Oh That's why I was like. Those are some serious. Yeah, no, he had brow, he had the eyebrow brush. That's crazy. Yeah. That's signature. Yo, he's like 98 or something.

Why does Shinzo Abe keep coming up? I don't know. Because he was another Japanese Prime Minister. Yeah, and he's dead now. So this guy though very much alive also still growing his eyebrows. Sorry. Yeah, go on. Wait, do we have a third photo of his eyebrow?

Can you imagine what the handsome man grooming company would have done to this? Yeah, he would have been in there for two days. Yeah, AI explode. The machine explode. Ladies and gentlemen, as bad as we are hurting from our post Japan hangover, there's one man on the planet whose pain is so much deeper than ours.

Montoya. Oh no. Montoya, please. Please, Montoya. Montoya, por favor. Montoya, por favor. Por favor, Montoya. Oh my God. I don't know if you have seen the nuclear arms race of fucking. Oh yeah.

That is Spanish Temptation Island this week. He got his get back. It has, okay, so let me tell you where we are. Okay. After the Montoya por que, and after his girlfriend decided that she was wrong and she would take him back, she escalated the war further. Oh, no.

Got pounded out in a way that was like hard to fathom. Wait, but much faster than the previous. Much faster. Much faster. It was like, yeah, it was. It was buried the sausage. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hard body fucking.

OK, but that gave in response, though. Can I can I interrupt you briefly? Yes, this was we covered this on the Patreon last. Yeah. So for those of you that didn't see this. Well, let me give you a brief run. Yeah, give me a brief run in case you missed episode one, Montoya is a contestant on what is called Spanish Temptation Island.

Now, Temptation Island frequently shows couples little glimpses and moments of couples as they are tempted on an island by Hatties and perform illicit acts. But in the Spanish version, you're actually forced to watch live as your significant other forced. Yeah, you're forced. They make you sit there. Oh, yeah, you're right. You're right. If you act up, you're like, please, you must sit.

No, I was thinking of us. Like, I thought you were saying like, we are. We are. We enjoy it. We enjoy it. We're not in the cup chair, but they do have a cup. I wouldn't even say chair, but a couch. Yeah, they have like everyone else also.

Like, imagine your significant other is getting fucked. Absolutely blasted getting destroyed. Absolutely. And loving every moment of it. And you're in the hotel room. Kutcher, you're sitting there. You're forced to watch it. But then also all of the other people are also sitting there watching it alongside you.

So then I think that like adds to the shame more. And then also millions of people around the globe are watching as well. That's right. And last week, Montoya basically snapped. OK, Montoya basically snapped when he was watching his after receiving a lap dance. His girlfriend elevated the cock wars and she got blasted by a real dick goon of a man.

It's a real cucklier arms race. Yes. Yeah. So Montoya runs down the beach, full Spanish soap opera style. Rain. He's like, no, you've killed, you've destroyed me. What have you done? And then he says he's not going to take her back, at which point next week she got blasted again.

And we can't even show that clip. No, no, we can. We can. This one is OK. This is Montoya. But we cannot show her second. Her second sex is in. We could do it on the Patreon. I think we should watch it.

Let's watch it. But wait, we don't have to watch that. But in response to that Montoya does something in response to the heart. OK, pull up that photo, please. In response to that Montoya does something in response to the heart. Okay, pull up that photo, please in response to that Montoya does something Insane he doesn't hard body fuck makes love He takes his time. Oh and apparently this video ran for like 30 minutes

He softly Made when did they leave the whole thing in the episode? Let's watch. I don't think they kept the whole thing in, but you can see. Wait, wait, wait. I need viewers to picture this. Gabe is scrambling on Twitter.

We have told him, let's watch several different times with no direction. Yeah, he's panicked. I mean, he found it. He found it, though. He's panic scrolling. Let's watch. If this was Marsha and half a head of ecstasy,

he would be having a meltdown right now. But Gabe is locked in. All right, let's watch this right here. Well, Gabe is also invested. Look. Oh, little baby kisses. Yeah. So beautiful. Okay, this lip snarl she does. I want to pause real, wait, wait, wait, till she does the lip snarl. You'll know. Mother of God.

She can't watch. Just a little. There! I just want to do a brief aside. The fact that this has not become a global meme format is a shame, but I do want to say this is Jets fans going into every season. This is me when Aaron Rodgers leaves the team and there's no hope anymore. Okay, play, play, play, play, play. Look at how they're getting close to the TV.

She's trying to make out details. How they could have gotten a bigger TV. Now, notice how the girls actually have an iPad. There's a story behind that as well. Yeah, you're supposed to hold it. The men also used to have an iPad as well, but Montoya kicked it. Yeah, he kicked it, bro. And that's why they put him in the cuck chair where he has to watch it on the

television now I think is this is actually do his fan people have like like a drama buff like plus 10 drama points no matter what like is post her getting railed by some guy though why do I why is she how could she be even upset because it's Spanish temptation I like that they you know she's like don't do it I don't want to see it and they're like no it's very I like that they, you know, Oh my god. They're describing the sex acts to her. She's like, don't do it. I don't want to see it. And they're like, no, it's very smooth.

They're getting her up to date. Alright, pause. I'm going to be honest, very rarely do I ever side with men on any of these endeavors, both for obvious reasons because I don't want to get my ass eaten and also because men are oftentimes very wrong in these situations this is one of the few instances where obviously both parties are horrible monsters to one another and to themselves but I do find myself favoring Montoya a little bit because he's been cucked so in spectacular fashion.

Yeah. Like she is the America of the situation. Like Montoya is the USSR playing catch up with the nuclear program. Like America dropped Hiroshima Nagasaki two atom bombs, she did. And then Montoya retaliated. By making love to some real Soviet rockets. I think Montoya basically is playing catch up at every point. Remember because the arms race started because I'm sorry, this is completely off topic breaking

news, but I was going to go out tonight to the gay bars and it's fucking bear and leather community night Which is great. Isn't it like is it there a snow blizzard going on in fucking Portland like an unprecedented amount of snow? No I'm talking about Portland. No he's flying back out. We have a hard out you don't even know about this we didn't even get to this because we're talking about Montoya. But for war, Hey, well, Hey Hassan, as you know, I recently got my blood work done. Oh, don't I know it. Yeah. And you guys will find out on the Patreon side as we go through the results of my blood work. But you know what else is really important? If you want to go and get your blood work done, Zoc Doc, that's right. You can, okay. You can find the right doctor.

And since it's like around the time of Valentine's day, it can feel a lot like dating where you can test out a few options to find the one who checks your boxes, whether that's someone who is in network located nearby, has open appointment slots, is highly rated by other patients or speaks a specific language or even takes virtual appointments. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors and instantly book an appointment. We're talking about booking an in-network appointment. That's right. Stop putting off these doctors appointments. Go to zocdoc.com slash fear to find an instantly

book a top rated doctor today. That's z o c d o c.com slash fear zocdoc.com slash fear to find a doctor. I've set my search preference to Japanese speaking doctors. So I feel more close to Nippon after our voyage I respect that. Thank you. I Get that and I'm gonna tell you a story. I've never told tell me tell us I Missed a threesome at my college graduation because my family forced me to go to NASCAR What's a real story wait a threesome at your college graduation? Yeah.

Wait, what? What was planned in advance? It was not super in advance. 24, 24, 48 hours in advance. That's why you got to be a good captain. I couldn't. I couldn't go because my family showed up and surprised me with NASCAR tickets and I hate NASCAR. I was like, so when you don't show up to the threesome,

do they just go without you? No, because it was two women. Oh, I see. I don't ever. I don't know how the physics of that. I mean, straight women. Yeah, I mean, I mean, I mean, I guess. Yeah, they could have just been.

No, I know, but I just didn't even think it's gotten. That's like a little heterophobic of me to think that like that would work. Yeah. But yeah, it was funny. My increasing desperation throughout the outing at NASCAR. I was like, oh, my family graduation. And then this is crazy.

They were like, well, it's so late. We should just take you back to your parents house because it was closer to my parents house in North Carolina than my college. And I was like, no, it's so late. We should just take you back to your parents' house. Because it was closer to my parents' house in North Carolina than my college. And I was like, no, you take me back. Yeah, yeah, they wouldn't. They wouldn't do it. I got in a big fight with my family. Because you did you tell them? No. Well, tell my like my uncle and my.

No, I feel like you could tell your parents that it was not. Maybe not your uncle. Not at that point in my life. Twenty two years old No, you couldn't be like yo, I need to go fuck no No, no. Yeah, I mean, but sometimes you just got to make up a well You can't even say I have a family emergency. Yeah Yeah, I have a family emergency guys a distant relative you guys don't know made up anything crazy cuz you had to go get laid Need up anything crazy cuz I had to go get laid. I don't know

That's a tough that's a great store. That's a great question um. Thank you I I'm gonna go ahead and say yes automatically, but I can't recall any moment. I have done that But I've definitely probably I've told you guys is like when I was in Turkey And I got fucking violently food poisoned violently food, poison, only food poisoned and it hit mid coitus. Oh, I had to go shit in this shower. like immediately just like Doing my Montoya that's the worst yeah, and then I just I was on a cruise ship, too Oh, I was like I was I knew it was gonna be so bad that I just ran back to my room Like with a towel on oh, it was awful. You can't pinch it in that point. No, it's liquid. Yeah In that point no, it's liquid. Yeah

And I never returned to Turkey, oh I've never been to Turkey yeah Let's do it. Would they yeah? Turkey Turkish airlines, baby. Yeah, I think you'd be killed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I can't go but you can go We could go enjoy Turkey. Yeah, you guys enjoy Turkey. I mean, I feel like from the sidelines I feel like I feel like because you're Turkish and we're good friends every time I meet a Turkish person You feel a sense of closeness to them, yeah, I'm like damn You guys can go to Turkey and I'll be in your ear like I'll be watching in real time Walking you guys around telling you what to say to people. It's like a sense of pride. Like, oh my gosh, my friends gave ours and stuff too. And it's really, of course. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. There's a robust gay community. I would love that. Yeah. I would love that. It's bear night every night. Yes. Come to Turkey. And the way we can get you to the, oh, I had a, I had a Lebanese haircut in Germany. Germany from a Turkish guy. Yeah, of course The setup to the most racist I was getting a Lebanese haircut in Germany for And he says to me. Yeah, no he he cut he did the whole like beard thing where they like shape Oh, you saw me we were in Germany when we went out to the fucking club afterwards for twitch remember that there's a photo of us standing

Yeah, looking at one another all sexual. Yeah, exactly another topic, okay Relevant topic newsworthy. I came ready I got some That general manager howie roseman of the Eagles was assaulted at the Eagles parade No, it's insane. Someone threw a full beer and leveled him in the face. And he had to get, I think he had to get stitches in his face. Oh my God.

Okay. You have to see this. Hear me out. They fucked him up. Hear me out. I feel like if you're the Eagles GM. Was it on video? Look, look, look, look.

Look at his head. Look at his head. I feel like if you're... Look at that cut on his forehead. I feel like if you're the Eagles GM, it's like it comes with the territory. But he seems like he's working through it. Yeah. Well, he's drunk. Oh, he's the Eagles General Manager.

That's what I'm saying. Yeah, he knows what the job is. He's got the same transition lens as I have. Listen, when you're the Eagles General Manager. No, no, no, I'm not. I'm not working on that. When you're the... Let me see what the text is. No, no, no, I'm not. I'm not working on it. Yeah. When you're the Texas. No,

that was that was my roommate. Back on topic. Getting hit with getting pelted with with with with like pieces of blocks of ice with coins trapped inside of it that someone has frozen the night before. Yeah, that's specifically for the Eagles parade is, I would say, an expected outcome. If you're the Eagles, take a look. It literally looks like it's like if you're a coal miner, you're going to get black. This looks like presidential assassination footage. Let's take a look. I'm celebrating.

I'm celebrating back into the left. And's take a look. I'm celebrating. I'm celebrating. Bang back into the left and he had a second shooter in the grassy hole back into the left. Dude, that's a that's a perfect throw. Yeah. Why would you throw the beer at the people that you're celebrating the victory of it's Philly because I think three people were shot and killed at the parade.

Oh my God. Yeah, Jesus. I mean, I don't do I know at the parade. Oh my God. Yeah. Jesus Christ. I mean, we bored you. I know. Philly Parade. No, I know. Bro, the new thing that they do, because they lube all the polls,

is they just take the polls out now and then move them around town. They just rip it from out of the ground. All right. Can we talk about the Super Bowl a little bit? Yeah. Which happened last week. I have a topic from the Super Bowl. Yeah, I wanted to say there was a gentleman.

I don't know what the player is, but he wore a Taylor Swift shirt, an anti-Taylor Taylor Swift shirt. Oh, don't do that. I fucking forgot. Look up. Look up. Yeah. Eagle shirt.

It'll come up. I know exactly what you're talking about, but I forget the reason. What? up. Yeah. Eagle shirt. It'll it'll come up. I know exactly what you're talking about. But I forget the reason. What? Yeah. OK. He was wearing an anti Taylor Swift shirt. What the hell? They're making these inscribed. Oh, yeah. He said CJ Gardner Johnson. Yep.

And he wore it at the parade. Wait, what was it? What was the what did the shirt say? Hoodie clowning Taylor Swift fans. Johnson showed off his hoodie during the Eagle Super Bowl parade and also on Instagram live. The safety started trolling Kansas City chief star Travis Kelsey and chill this with online after the Eagle Super Bowl

victory, Super Bowl licks. Yeah. Lick my balls basically. Cause Swiftie's evidently retaliated by attacking his mom's restaurant or something like that. Rating it poorly. That's the thing that says fuck Taylor Swift. Well, that's a pretty direct troll right there.

Yeah, it's interesting because I think Taylor Swift was an Eagles fan, or at least she has in the past shown support to the Philadelphia Eagles. And the only reason why she's now obviously a cheese fan is because of Travis Kelsey and the Swifties. I just, I don't think you should fuck with the Swifties. That's all I'm saying. Like it's pretty Swifties.

Wait, Swifties can licks my balls. No. Okay. By the way, for those of you listening who don't know what LIX is, it's the number of the Super Bowl. It was Super Bowl 59. So in Roman numerals, it's LIX. So it the hoodie says Swifties can licks my balls. I mean, I mean, that's pretty provocative. I wish cutie was here. I know. It's on that. I know.

You know what I have to say about this. So in case you've been living under a stone, let me give you a little context. Super Bowl happened last week and the Eagles absolutely boat raced the two-time defending Super Bowl champions, Kansas City Chiefs. Absolutely dogged him out and Montoya style, Montoya style. And I guess CJ Garner Johnson thought this was a good opportunity to take a shot at the

most active community on the entire Internet. Man, I wish I had cuties commentary. There's no reason to there's no reason why you're riding so high to just basically invite the American al-qaeda into your life. Stand in solidarity. Yeah, of course. With the American with yes. No, if the Swifties did 9-11, I would say to say my famous line again. Yeah, I will never never come out of the Swifties.

Swifties, I love you. I've talked about this before. It's not like any other fandom because I've duked it out with the Barb's before, right? Nicki Minaj's fandom. It's the thing about the Barb's is like, you can't really go to a Sephora if you duke it out with a barb, right?

Like you can't be around a Sephora because like that's where all the barbs are, right? Like that's, they work in Sephora. With Swifties, you're talking like, like it can be a white teenager living in Arkansas or it can be like the general manager of, of whole foods. Yeah. Like the regional, the, the, the, and like West Indies operation head of the whole foods is like a Swifty. You know, it's interesting too. I think it's a form of violence that a Philly

football player wouldn't understand. Right? Yeah. Beer bottle to the head. He gets that right. If a Swifty threw a beer bottle at him, he's like, oh, I get this. Yeah. This is warfare like, no, they do like psychological internet warfare. And I think they came after his mother's restaurant. No, they work like the FSB. Like, you know how you know how, like every time Russia gets mad at something, they'll just be like, oh, I guess the electricity network is down. That's how the Swifties operate. Like they are. They do cyber crimes.

Yeah. Yeah. Eagles players. Mom. They tried to deport his mother. Dude, that's what I'm saying. They're not, dude, they get real. They get out fucking around. Yeah, they get real. White is right with it. It's crazy. That's crazy. Yeah. Well, listen, I hope. Oh, go ahead. I hope that the Swifties come back. I think the Swifties learned a valuable lesson about football. Yeah, because, you know, the Swifties have known nothing

but success since the Kelsey Swift. Engagement. But success since the Kelsey Swift engagement entanglement dating I don't know if I call them the wrong thing Then Swifties will be very mad since they got together will get very generic. They've known nothing but Super Bowls Hmm and now they're taking their first hard loss And I think it's a good lesson for them that Super Bowl football has ups and downs. It does. And I hope they come back. Yeah.

I hope the Swifties keep buying jerseys and keep watching. I do too. It's good for the American economy. I think they're not gonna care about it as much. No, especially Kelsey might retire. Oh, okay. Well, there's that I guess, but I think also like, you know, maybe this will lead to like anytime there's that I guess but I think also like

you know, maybe this will lead to Like anytime there's like there's like a defeat of any sort In no cold brews mine not the not the latte. I think thank you. What the fuck is this? Well, it's a nice little cute little cup. Why is mine so much smaller than yours? No, well, but Anytime there's a good defeat in Taylor Swift's life. What I was trying to say is that like you get an album out of it you know, maybe she'll do like a Maybe she'll do an album about the the loss of the 59th Super Bowl which is

Finally the first time Taylor Swift will make music for Jets fans Who have only known to feel right. So this way nice will can identify gotta take a shot at old Wilbo. Yeah, while he's down. Oh, the Jets are no longer the Muslim team. So I've revoked my support. I what you only support Muslim teams. That's crazy.

I go wherever solid goes. Well then you're a 49ers fan again. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's crazy. I go wherever solid goes. Well then you're a 49ers fan again. Yeah. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. That's right. I only support the Muslim teams, whichever, whichever team Allah is on board with. I'm on board with Masha Allah brothers. Yeah. Masha Allah. What else is going on in the world guys? I came for bear shot. There's a lot going on. Give us a spicy one. I got a spicy one. Oh, well, Hassan was probably gonna say an airport story No, it's not an airport story. No, I although my flight was a little rough, but I don't need to talk about it It's whatever. Okay one of I have a couple things. Okay number one, fuck me, right? You know, I mean

Well, I haven't introduced the story today yet. So I think it's important that I do that number one haven't introduced the story today yet. So I think it's important that I do that. Um, no one, Elon Musk nutted inside of one of his reply guys, Ashley St. Claire, please look it up. Ashley St. Claire is a, a, a Twitter kind of gay affair. Yeah. What the fuck you talking about? No, Ashley St. Claire is a woman. Elon Musk has welcome her guy because reply guys, the terminology author. I wouldn't say author, but whatever Twitter poster, prolific Twitter poster. Oh, why would she admit? Claire says she gave birth to almost 13th child five months ago. The author announced

on Friday the 14th that she is the mother of Tesla's founders, 13th child. Elon Musk's 13th child five months ago. The author announced on Friday the 14th that she is the mother of Tesla's founder's 13th child. Elon Musk has 13 children. Real bad man. Well, if you ask him he says 12 because he disowned his trans daughter. So there's that, but this is his 13th child. Officially, St. Clair posted the announcement on Twitter because she said that the journalists were snooping around. I intend to allow our child to grow in a normal and safe environment. For that reason, I asked the media to honor our child's privacy and refrain from invasive reporting.

She said five months ago, I welcomed a new baby into the world. Elon Musk is the father. I have not previously disclosed this to protect our child's privacy and safety, but in recent days it has become clear that tabloid media is snooping around. They're going to leak the story. Her post was captioned by the Latin phrase Alea Lacta est meaning the die is cast which is weird because you're talking about you know like an autistic man nutting in you it's not like that serious you know the die is cast that's it is what it is. Now I want to talk about this specifically because Elon Musk might be the horniest person on the planet,

but also simultaneously the lamest person on the planet because as a billionaire, the wealthiest person on the planet, he actively will find people on Twitter that are, you know, fairly regular looking, fairly annoying right-wingers, and then he will fairly annoying right wingers. And then he will become reply guys to them. Okay. And then he just knots in them. I feel like this is not the best use of your resources or time if you're the wealthiest person on the planet. Yeah, I mean, doesn't he kind of have like a weird breeding thing though, or like he wants to have like a shit ton of kids.

He does. Yeah. And he doesn't afford it. That's for sure. He's a eugenicist. Yeah. Wow. And so he nutted inside of this woman.

Yeah. And they made a baby. They did. That's incredible. I mean, this is the guy who's currently dismantled the federal government richest person on the planet. I think it's like somewhat weird that he's just, you know, he is 13 children and he's just like fucking random people on Twitter. I think it's going to be weird that my children, if I decide to have them, are going to have to deal with like the progeny of Elon Musk. Right. There's going to be a lot of Muskies running around.

Yeah, they're different fingers and different ends of the planet. Yeah, I mean, I think. Bucking everything up. Yeah, he won is. Okay, howdy's ugly. Yeah, but it's just like it's it's a mega influencer. Like what are we this is like if Barack Obama had sex with, I don't know, me.

Like Barack Obama impregnated me. I'm certain there's a fan fiction. Yeah. I mean, I'm just saying it's like wild that, you know, this is what Elon Musk is doing. It's just like running around fucking people off of Twitter. Yeah. Elon Musk is doing is just like running around fucking people off of Twitter. Yeah, it's you're basically insinuating that for the richest man of the world. It should be beneath him.

But shockingly, it's not. Yeah, it doesn't make sense. It's like shit. So how much money would she get for being a just just out of curiosity of you? If I give birth, let's see. I give birth to Elon Musk's child. Yeah. Right? How much money? Are you trying to line up?

I'll be honest, depends on how much money. True. Right? So if I give birth to Elon Musk's ugly kid, that's not very nice. No. That's not very nice. I mean, he is very ugly, so he's probably gonna, let's be real. Yeah, his kid that doesn't have really much of a shot

to be good looking. What sort of financial benefit would I get from that? And maybe she was in love with him, probably not. Right? Probably not. Like, I don't know, maybe it was love at first tweet. Hassan Piker, you're someone who uses Shopify almost every day. That's right. Well, etiology.shop is on Shopify.

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and now back to the pod. So how, what sort of like financial compensation? I don't know. He's offered to buy a horse for a private jet air stewardess in the past because he made an unwanted what on your horse. The horse part is actually the coolest part of the story,

because it's like it's very feudal lord almost. Yeah. Yes, I've tried to do prima noctua and you have said my advances were unwarranted. Well, I will buy you a horse. Yeah, this is the finest horse. It's like what I fucking buy you a horse. Yeah. This is the finest horse. It's like what I fucking do with a horse. Yeah.

A flight attendant for SpaceX said Elon Musk asked you to do more during a massage and then he exposed his penis allegedly and offered to buy her a horse. This was a famous at the time. And one of the things that I still remember that I thought was really revealing about the mindset of Elon Musk. And pulling your penis out. Yeah, the mindset of Elon Musk fandom, I think, was very revealing because they responded to this by being like, you got to suck his dick and get a horse.

I would have I would have paid for the privilege. Like that was unironically what his fucking fans were saying at the time and we never were like We should nip this in the bud like that should have been any competent government Okay, maybe led by the great chairman Xi Jinping who is leading China into a Decadent century of prosperity would have immediately Alibaba founder Jack Maude his ass. Like any situation outside of the United States of America, you're like, I'm sorry, what? You're the wealthiest billionaire on the planet. You did this and your fans are openly, actively saying

shit like this. You're going to jail. We will find a reason to put you in it. Okay. In that vein, first of all, not beating the communist allegations with that. I don't even think this is a communist position anymore. Well, regardless, what I think is kind of funny is we had a clip on TikTok about me spending $4,000 on a dinner. Yeah. And we, Will and I got roped in to being called socialists.

Oh, they're calling you socialists? They were calling Will and I socialists. They're like, wow, a being called socialists. Oh, they're calling you socialists? They were calling Will and I socialists. They're like, wow, a bunch of socialists. Like, we just got next to you. We just got thrown into it. Yeah. Yeah. People are very stupid. Yeah.

That's kind of... You know what's crazy is I've never been thrown into Hassan's positions before. Yeah. Oh, never? Never, huh? He's joking. All the time. Yeah. It's just... I mean, I believe in some socialist, you know, I think you don't even have to believe in it.

It just doesn't really even matter because you could literally every day of your life be like, I love capitalism. I'm a right winger or whatever you want to say. Right. And people will still be like, well, I'm a fucking idiot. So I'm going to assume that you are a Marxist, Marxist Leninist revolutionary vanguardist or some shit. Yeah, it's just people are objectively getting dumber and dumber every single day and I'm beginning to notice that maybe in the process. They're also becoming more right-wing. I don't know I don't know why it's just kind of like that, but just fucking feels like that. There's a correlation with just anger. Just un, just un, just anger and just ugh, trans people. That's what, that's for some reason that is the only thing. Everything, all these angry motherfuckers, no matter what

they're angry about, for some reason they gotta, it always ends with trans people. Yeah. They're angry at you, you're trans. I'm pissed at life. I just don't like trans people in sports. They banned recently the US military tweeted gave I don't know if you can pull it up, but the US military, the US army tweeted and enacted a policy that banned trans people from the that banned trans people from the military. No, they're woke. It's because they were like, we love our trans people. They're too precious for combat. They shouldn't go and die in the front lines.

That's what it was. Now, it's so stupid because I think they're huffing on their own farts. There will be an inevitable reaction to this, an inevitable backlash to this because most people don't care. Like yeah, a lot of people, the overwhelming majority of people are like, yeah, trans people are weird. I don't understand it.

It's gross. Whatever. Right? Like that's, that's just like the normative position. Unfortunately, trans people know that's, that's just like the normative position. Unfortunately, trans people know this already, obviously. But they don't care to this degree. Most people, like I have looked at studies on this a million times over the average position in America is simultaneously trans people are weird and I don't really understand it, but also they are being unfairly discriminated against by overwhelming majorities. People say trans people are weird and I don't really understand it, but also they are being unfairly discriminated against.

By overwhelming majorities, people say, trans people are weird, I don't like it, but they're also being unfairly discriminated against, and they really should be nowhere near sports. That is like the average person. If you are anywhere, if you're a trans person, anywhere near, like if you even think about picking up a basketball, I would kill you. But other than that. I will fight for your right to piss in whatever bathroom

I'm gonna piss in. It's a weird eclectic oftentimes contradictory Assessment of the situation, but it doesn't matter. I just don't understand it is annoying I don't understand it as a person. Why do you care? Why do you give a shit like you like most of these people haven't even met a trans person or seen a trans person or been in the room with the trans, like I don't understand how the fuck this impacts your life. How do you obsess so much over people

that are purely just trying to exist? Yeah, it's 100% the internet. It's such a tiny marginal group of people. There. Well, I think when you are a small-minded person, I think things need to be important. Like gender roles and your bank account and your furrows of worry and the life that you have built

upon those worries and God and your genitals These are things that are them sweet sweet genitals I'm saying like they build their worldview around these so when people challenge that worldview They're like wait a minute these things are important. I've built my life around them You can't challenge that. That makes me scared. What if God is dead? Yeah. What if there is no God? Right. And I think unfairly then they pin all their anxiety about their own mortality

or the frivolousness of life on those things that they don't understand because it challenges them. But you had a story. Please. I did. of life on those things that they don't understand because it challenges them. But you had a story. Please. I did. Yes. Have a story. Yes.

About what? You told us. I did? Got angry when he gave his topic. Yeah, you had a banger topic lined up, remember? Oh, that was, I just, I got it out. I was talking about trans people. You wanted to talk about-

But the US military banning trans people. But I weaved it in without saying I have a new topic. Seamless. It was seamless. Seamless. I got that in, that was just our topic. I apologize. How about that?

I apologize. Huh? Yeah, see? So I do think, I do predict, here's my first like 2025 lock of the of the year on the fear and POC has okay, I think that there's going to be a lot of like the pendulum is going to swing back in the opposite direction in terms of like culture woke is going gonna be back in oh, yeah, no like and and the most annoying way Yeah, no ways that we all obviously consider to be like lame and shit like woke is gonna be back I think the Democrats are gonna start kneeling in the Capitol again I don't know about the Democrats but I think that there's a lot of appetite from

The American public that is just kind of looking at everything and going like what the fuck are we doing right now? Yeah, like these guys are talking about, look, we don't talk about politics on this podcast normally, but you know, maybe sometimes we make an exception when the department of education is slated to be abolished. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Like these guys are just like, yeah, I think everything should be immediately given to the God ordained billionaire masters that, and if you ever have any issue with that statement at all, you need to shut the fuck up and go to jail. Like that's kind of becoming the normal position in the Republican party. And I find that very

strange and I don't think Americans like it all that much. Are there favorabilities crashing yet? Cause last time I checked they were up and I was like, what the fuck's going on? Not not there yet. Elon Musk. Yes. But partially because he's very annoying. Fair favorability is going up because the people who voted for this administration sees a bunch of action. Right. And they're like, great job. But they haven't seen the repercussions. Right. They've seen the fuse get lit. But the big boom. the repercussions, right? They've seen the fuse get lit, but the big boom has happened. You voted for Donald Trump because you wanted to shake up the system. You're angry, you're

resentful, and you think all of those problems, because the Republicans have directed, redirected your anger to like trans people, migrants, whatever. All of those problems are caused by these like villains in society, right? And so when they see Donald Trump taking action, as we'll correctly pointed out, they go, oh, well, at least someone's shaken up the system. The dumbest guy you know is going, well, things are changing and I like that. It seems like the libs are getting owned,

not realizing that like they're also getting owned in the process because this stuff is, I mean, it's relatively apolitical when you say we're nuking the Department of Education. It's not a left right dynamic. It's an up down, it's an up down dynamic because let's be real. If you're living in Nebraska and you're like a middle class guy, your children are going to fucking public school, dog. Okay. And they're not, they're not going to the private institutions that the rich people's kids are going to fucking public school dog. Okay, and they're not they're not going to the to the private institutions That the rich people's kids are going to so you're you're cooked in that process. Yeah, and

The unfortunate problem is that it'll take a long time for them to start realizing who was really responsible for this And if they're all trying to find the guy who did this and the other problem is like no one on the supposed quote unquote left, really. And the administration is like pointing the finger correctly. Did you see? I mean, this is very political. But did you see all the people in like public schools reacting to the slashing of funds? And they were all like, I can't believe they're doing this. And then it's like, did you did you vote for Donald Trump?

And they're like, well, yeah. Yeah. No, it's just like. So what are they, are they regretting their vote? Yeah. Some people will. People who work in schools are just starting to figure out cause they're on the early end of that whip crack.

Yeah. It'll be the general public later. Yeah, it's kind of like this the National Institute of Health Which is gay and woke where all the scientists work and that's bad because we hate medicine gays doing beakers Yeah test you yeah, I hate science They they took away my horse the warmer and that pisses me off anyway the NIH grant system is and that pisses me off. Anyway, the NIH grant system is profoundly important

for the discovery of novel chemical compounds or new medicine, okay? And the American government, under the watchful gaze of Elon Musk, has decided to change the grant structure. Normally they give you $250,000 to a college directly for the research, and then they give like 50% of that for overhead, right?

So that other people can be hired inside of the school system. And it's still important for the research for other people to be hired. Sounds like pork to me, bro. Yeah, that's what they said. They were like, well, these colleges all have massive endowments. Why don't they just pay for it through their endowments? Which like, I understand they do have massive endowments. Why don't they just pay for it through their endowments? Which like I understand they do have massive endowments.

Okay. That makes sense. But when you do that, you are gutting public institutions. One of those public institutions is the University of Alabama, which happens to be the second largest hiring body in the state of Alabama. Alabama is a very red state. Not every single person that was being hired by the University of Alabama is a woke libtard. Is the Tide gonna lose any money?

Yeah, yes, they will. Well, I'm against it. Yes, they will. Now, of course, their athletic program, no one's touching that. Well, that's right, okay, then I think they're all, of course not. As long as the Tide is gonna roll. Yeah, they're still rolling the Tide, but the where, okay, then I think we're all, of course not. As long as the tides gonna roll.

Yeah, they're still rolling the tide, but the problem is like, when you have- They have school at UC Alabama? Or is it just the football program? They do have school and that school has, you know, janitorial staff, that school has chefs- Janitors are playing football? Janitors, janitors.

They're playing football? They're cleaning up after the football player. They're cleaning up after the football players. They're cleaning up after the football players. They have chefs. They have all these people that work in various different positions inside of the university. Again, second largest hiring body in the state. So now the Republican Congress person, Katie Britt,

was like, hey, you can't cut the NIH funding. Please don't do this. We're going to do mass layoffs. If you do this, that's a lot of people. Are they still going to cut it? But they, I think they are. Yeah. They don't give a shit. Oh, they did. There's the national title this year. Yeah. Yeah. Tom's is tough. Well, they feel like they, you know, they have a mandate is what they say every time, every time they cut some essential service, they say they have a mandate. Anyway, we're deep in the weeds. Things are bad.

We know things are bad. Yeah, things are terrible. We miss Cutie Cinderella. Yeah, we do. We really do miss Cutie Cinderella. If you're at home, you have to understand, Hassan, Will, and I have spent probably the last month, essentially, together at all moments of time.

Many conversations. That's pretty excellent. There is another story going on. Yes. So shockingly, Pete Davidson has spent a quarter million dollars removing a full body

tattoos, leaving women asking the question. Why did we think he's hot? Can I say something? Yes. Was that a picture of him? This is a classic certified Hasan Abitek. Okay. I used to say all the time that if you're like a white dude

who is not very good looking, the immediate way to improve your looks is by getting tatted the fuck up. And I used to always use, what's his name? The Maroon 5 singer as an example. He's hot. He is, right? He's hot. Adam Levine. Adam Levine, right? Yeah, Adam Levine. Imagine him without tattoos, regular ass white dude. You'd never look twice at and Pete Davidson, thankfully, proved that point for all to see. Has he given an explanation? Listen, I don't really I think Pete Davidson's funny. I just I don't understand why you would get a full body of tattoos. I don't think he really is the type of person who needs to get rid of them for like work. Yeah.

It's not like he needs to get rid of his neck tat so we can go work at the tanning salon. I don't understand his effort to get rid of his tattoos. Did he just hit a period of time in his life? And he's like, you know what? I'm over these because I'm going to be honest. I hear tattoo removal is more painful. Yeah. Getting the tattoos and is more painful. Yeah. Getting the tattoos. Yeah. And he was covered. Yeah. Completely covered. When this first happened, I thought that this was a

stunt. I thought this was a commercial for cover up. I don't know if you guys remember, do you guys remember Zombo? Oh yeah. I know what you're talking about. So very famously there was a model named, I think it was Zombie boy or Zomboi who was covered in tattoos that had them all removed via makeup. Yeah, as a, as an advertisement for cover up, type in without tattoos. And when this, when I first saw this, I was like, Oh my gosh, this is a great advertisement for cover up. Then they're kind of rinsing this back 10 years later.

But here we're about to pull up an image of Zombo. If you just go to the Google image search, you can see it. Yeah, just go to the images. There's Zombo with the concealer and they did his entire body. Right. And it was very cool. So did Pete actually got them removed? It was a word as of cool. So Pete actually got them removed. It was a Photoshop.

As of now is that Pete actually had his tattoo. It's not a publicity stunt. Did he come out with any product or anything in this? He did. He did this reformation campaign. Oh my god, he died. Zombie died. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, zombie boy. Sorry. Yeah. Pete showed up in a spread spread and I don't know. Like he showed up on the streets of West Hollywood. I was driving up La Cienega. I almost got in a car wreck because I saw his tattoo free naked

body on this reformation poster, and I was a little shocked. I was a little confused at what I was looking at, and it freaked me out a little shocked. I was a little confused at what I was looking at. And it freaked me out a little bit. Now, before everybody goes, oh, dude, you're like, you know, body shaming or whatever. I think tattoos are cool. I think tattoos are unique. If you don't want to have them on your body any longer, that's great.

You know, it's awesome. More power to Pete. I'm simply stating that I think for most dudes Tattoos make you like tattoos give you like a plus 10. Well Pete is an interesting example I think he's an extreme example because he's slept with the who's who of the planet. Do you think he's had enough? No, I think he's I think he's tenacious But do you think like an appetite maybe he's like, oh, I've gotten too much pussy. Now it's time to hang it up.

I'm going to get all my tattoos, I'm going to remove them. Oh, you think he's hanging up the spurs? Yeah, maybe it's too, like you hung your jersey or whatever the fuck happened to you. I don't know what happened to you. Hung my jersey in the rafters. Yeah, you hung your jersey in the rafters. You've retired.

I was like a Todd Gurley. I was having a few good seasons and my knees gave out. Yeah see like like you guys like I don't know is straight men right? This is a straight gay man straight man. Is there just like oh my god too much boobs too much vagina. That's I've never in my entire life felt that. I'm tired. Have you ever been like too much ass? No but I'm it's different. It's different for me. We can gay men we can have fun forever. No, but I'm it's different. It's different for me. Gay men, we can have fun forever. You guys have to hang it up eventually. Gay men, we can just keep going and having a great time.

That's not true. I think you can keep having fun as a straight man. Just look at Elon Musk. Yeah, well, yeah, but he's a half a trillion man. Yeah, but he's having fun in the laziest way possible. No, but I would say that like I think it is infinitely better to be gay than it is to be straight I agree. Well, I mean minus all of the oppression and homophobia No, but like it's and all of those things if you just like but that's why we have to hold you down Otherwise you're having too much fun. Yeah, no can't have it all it's infinitely better

Like I mean look, I know I'm gonna get a lot of comments saying oh, it's like very I have a lot of privilege. Yeah, you know That's why homophobia is good. Okay, that's why it's good Says you think is being gay is fun It isn't fun or not fun. They're ups and downs. That's true. Yeah, it's very God in general is woke But like if you're just in it look if you woke. But like, if you're just in a, look, if you just boil it down to like, you're just in a place where there's no straight people. Yeah. And it's just all gays, it's more fun, right?

Now, if you're, it also depends on where you are, it depends on a variety of things, where you are. Yeah. But in general, if you can find your safe gay spaces, it's more fun. That's what I'll say. You get to hang with the homies and have sex with them. Okay. And you're just friends. That's the thing. You can fucking be friends.

You can be, you can fucking be friends with women. Not too complicated. No, that's no, no, you can't do that. Right? That's not you're. You can fucking be friends with women. You're undermining the basis of, of heterosexual relationships throughout millennia. I just I don't think like I don't think it's that cool though. I like that gave is googling things that we're saying here. Yes, men and women can be friends says Google's AI overview. I'm not saying that like I do think like you can fucking be friends as straight

people but I genuinely believe that it's just a little bit more rare. Right? It's hard to throw sex into that equation. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You can definitely be platonic friends. I think when you start throwing that sex in there. Yeah, there's like a lot of gay people, it's like how we became friends.

Yeah, it's a different. It's like how we met. It's a different dynamic for sure. That's why I was saying, it's like, homophobes are just jealous. A lot of gay relationships like move backwards you fuck and then you then you dial back Then you dial it back and then it's like let's have lunch, right? That's how you know, it's it's like dating. It's almost like dating in reverse. Yeah, you know the reason why

Other men are homophobic is because they're jealous of gay men. Yeah, and all the fun they have. Yeah, I understand that Yeah, I understand that that level of home. That's why I'm homophobic. Yeah, I'm jealous of what you can't you can't bro down Yeah, yeah exactly, right? You can't you can't do that. All right. Yeah one last point I want to make on the Pete Davidson thing. I'm going to be the friend who's too woke here. Pete Davidson going clean cut and ending the era of Indy sleaze is the canary in the coal mine of the rising tide of fascism. Wow. Yes, you think Pete Davidson wiping the tattoos is the canary.

What's the canary in the coal mine is an old Reference to when coal miners used to take canaries which are more sensitive to airborne Like poisons human beings are and they would take them into mines And if they bird would die it'd be an indicator that they were breathing something toxic. Yeah, that's fucking awful Well, yeah, we gotta do to get that cool mine like a hundred years awful. Well, do we got to do to get that coal out? Maybe mine like 100 years ago. What? Fucking awful. Yeah.

Well, it turns out they were always burning in something, breathing in something bad. Okay. But I'm saying that kind of jokingly, but also not super jokingly. Obviously, Pete Davidson is not deliberately doing this to be like, I think America, the American right will rise or whatever. I just think that people are moving away from these. It's like the hippies cutting their hair.

Yeah, exactly. It's the end of an era of progress. Yeah, well, I mean, it's happening everywhere. Google is removing Pride Month and stuff from their calendars. Apple and Google have gotten in line and changed the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America. Not Apple. Apple is still woke.

Wait, really? Apple still says Gulf of Mexico? No, I think Apple also changed that too. But I'm saying like, but like, DEI, freedom, fries, DEI stuff. Apple was like, no, dog, we're still gay as hell. Like, it's really funny. It's funny to see like, which companies actually did somewhat care about it, and which companies most of them just did it for aesthetics and marketing, which is what it was always. Obviously. Yeah. It's just, it's an interesting dynamic where,

you know, we're just going back and forth on this like, ridiculous, incredibly silly thing. The entire point of it was initially to say like, just don't overlook, you know, black people and marginalized people. And then the Republicans were like, that means you're, you hate white people. You hate men specifically. You don't want to hire me. Fuck you. But I do think that there will be backlash. One point I will make is that guess what, dude, they, day one of the anti-DEI presidency, planes are falling out of the fucking sky.

You know what was holding the planes up? Woke, that's right. I said it. They took the woke out and guess what happened? Planes are fucking falling out of the sky. Do planes run on woke? Asks Gabe to Google. No, planes don't run.

Okay, well, they use fuel to fly. No, planes don't run on woke. It's a conspiracy. Google is lying. I mean Google is anti-DEI now. Look as a as your resident plane expert go ahead lie to the American public. Look there woke was not killing people all right. But no. But a lack of staffing at airports a lack of gay gay staffing in particular Yes, and no, this is the thing. It kills me about Aviation is filled with homosexuals. Yeah, I mean everywhere and you think it's just the flight attendants. No, hell no Hell no, they're flying the fucking planes! Oh yeah. When I was growing up, I was a part of an online

flight simulator community. Why is it called the Cock Pit? Good question, Gabe. Yeah, cause you're pitting your cock in your homie's ass while you're flying. Yes, exactly. Which is what? I was a part of an online flight simulator community when I was a teenager, okay?

Were you getting groomed? No, we were all the same age okay, I think we didn't know Show your ass No, so like we would like my first like formative, is that the right word? Yeah. Gay experience was in my flight simulator community. I swear to God when I was when I was when I was like a teenager. Okay. I never told you guys this and I I met and this guy is probably out there. I actually think this guy became a Delta Airlines pilot.

He is like a Delta Airlines pilot. You guys have to reconnect. I actually really want to reconnect with him like not sexually I mean I don't know I don't even know what he looks like these days but. I like how Austin left the door open for sex in this hypothetical. Okay but you never know. You never know. I mean I'm not saying that we won't. I mean you never know right so I'm pretty sure you became a Delta Airlines pilot. But like we were talking and like nobody, it was like this thing around our flight simulator community. Nobody knew who was gay, but we were just like horny.

But we were like too afraid to admit they were gay. So we would just spend all day just talking about fucking women. Like we would just sit there and like. Or he was straight. No, no, no. How do you know he was gay? Because he was, long story short,

we ended up messaging, no, no, no, no, hold on. Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on. This is the greatest story never told. So you're telling me you were messaging a Delta Airlines pilot who's a teen at the time Yeah, I was also a teen that you were both teenagers And you would be like, oh, I can't wait to get a mouthful of tits Halfway through the conversation you're like

Or dick no, no, no, no, I don't even know how to how did you find out he was gay? I don't know. Well, if you were both talking about fucking women, it started with like, I don't know what happened, but it's a blur to me. But we were talking about fucking women and like hot women and like just Sarah Jean Underwood. Remember that? Remember that? Like that was back in that day era. And I was like, we were talking about like hot chicks. What if she was like had big strong shoulders?

But here's the deal night would come the sun would go down and we would start messaging and like pretty soon we're like hey like Jekyll and Gaye High I need to know how this happened. So we would we were messaging and then like I think somebody just like sent like kind of a shirtless photo and then we were like it wasn wasn't like in a sexual context. Was it just like a piranha pit? No, no. Like immediately everyone flipped gay?

No, it was just me and this guy. And we text and I don't know how it happened, but eventually his dick was in my DMs. And then mine was going back. And I don't know what happened. What do you mean? I don't know what happened. I don't know how it happened. but then like we started just like we were basically sexting and we almost had like a romantic relationship

And I was like a teenager at the time right? And then all of a sudden one day I woke up and I was like no I'm not gay I can't do this And then I messaged him I was like I can't do this I'm not gay. I can't do this. And then I messaged him. I was like, I can't do this. I'm not gay. And then I come back. What did he say? He was like, you're gay. Did you just block everything and walk away? No, we were, we still stayed friends, but we still flew together on flight simulator. But like after that, we just like completely was that was there tension in the cockpit? I mean, yes, we would just during the day, we would still continue talking about women in the group. We would all just talk about women. No, it really frustrates me to this day, because had I just accepted myself as a teenager, I would have saved myself so much. Like I regret

so much deeper regret that I didn't come out earlier. Right? Why your collection of life experiences has made you who you are today. Yeah, but it's like, it was like I didn't come out till I was like fucking 25 years old. You know how much gay shit I missed out on? Can I say something? You have to reconnect with this person. I don't, I tried to find them on like LinkedIn.

I've like tried to find them. You've tried to find them? Yes, I've tried to find them. No! If you're out there in the world, gay airlines pilot, we need to find you. Well, I just aired out all our fucking shit on the podcast. Well, he doesn't need to be public.

He's like, he's a straight man with a wife and children watching this. No, I'm pretty sure he's out. Watching this sweating, white knuckling through this like but like okay he's listening to it in the car with his family on the way to Disney oh Jesus Christ oh it's not me I hate those guys so like in this flight simulator group there was like I want to say like four or five were you the only two sleeper gays no he was everybody know and they would all talk about underwood four out of six of us turned out to be gay

One was just like very gay just like we all knew can you imagine being the one straight guy who just really loves Sarah Jean? Underwood yeah Okay guys No idea well to to two of them. It was it was crazy. It was the dichotomy I'm like pretty sure four of them Four of us were like gay. And then the rest of them were like homophobic. Just the two.

Yeah. Straight up. Yeah. It was like weird. My gay life went like, that was my first gay experience. And then I like fucking canned it for like five years. And just like tried to like women. Speaking of candid revelations, I believe it is time for us to go behind the paywall considering that Austin is a hard out. Yeah, and

Yeah, we in less than an hour. Yeah, that's crazy. That's crazy. He's mr. Even less. He's mr. Busyman. No, okay. He's mr. Busyman but thank you so much for joining us on yet another wonderful episode of the fear and podcast if you want to support the show and us on yet another wonderful episode of the Fear End podcast. If you want to support the show and March's silly debauchery that caused them to stay for an extended period of time in Japan, which I will be revealing the reasons for behind the paywall, then go to the Patreon. And one more thing before we go behind the Patreon. Next weekend, we did say it was this weekend. Next weekend, for those of you in the comments that are going to spam girlypop nation, girlypop nation, hold your spams because next weekend we will all be going to spam girlypop nation girlypop nation hold your spams because next weekend we

will all be going to visit cutie cinderella that's right all right so stay tuned for that we'll see you next week all right go to patreon.com slash fear and and support the show and we'll see you next time peace live shows we could also do name your price live from the cruise ship okay yeah we can name your price live you can record it right your price on the cruise ship yeah on the cruise ship okay okay and why is it so funny he's laughing because this is your fantasy oh I know Like, I know Knox, you're like, and it could all be gay. Yeah. We're gonna market it as a gay cruise.