Fear& - Daily Dose Of Internet Makes His First Ever Podcast Appearance.. | Fear&DDOI

Episode Date: December 5, 2022

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Will Neff is not dead. That's right. That's right. Will Neff is alive after an incredible self-suck miracle you know a lot of people actually thought i was dead what because a lot of people in your community just made obituaries like pictures of me in black and white with like sarah mclaughlan in the background. Oh. The arms of the angel. Like he just says, like, Will Neff, gone too soon to a self-sucking accident.

They didn't mention the self-suck. Oh, that makes it worse. So it just looked like I died. That makes it so much worse. Yeah. Wow. That's right, though. Five episodes down, finally, Will Neff is back, ladies and gentlemen.

He died. They rushed him to the hospital, okay, the doctor sees his penis and goes, we can't let this beautiful penis go to waste. And he said, It was like the Nicky Sticks situation. I don't even know what that is. Oh, you've never heard this? Nicky Sticks.

Front man of Motley Crue was dead. Dead, dead. Oh, I think I know what you're talking about. The paramedic was in the ambulance and he was like, that's Nicky Sticks. He can't die. He hit him with like six shots of adrenaline. I have heard this story. And Nicky Sticks came out and went, oh, yeah.

He's got my heart. That's how he revived himself? Yes. Bro, that's like. That's how you sing when you got six needles of adrenaline. It's like Call of Duty, bro. He's like, I'm down. Nikki Stix is down.

We have a wonderful guest here today, and we have one guest who is not here yet, a co-host, if you will. You can just point to the empty seat next to you. We'll Photoshop her in. Ladies, am I right? Of course, we are joined by daily dose of the internet you want to you want to give it like a yeah yeah hello everyone this is your daily dose internet here i am with hassan and will and we're gonna have a fun time uh talking about fun things wow

damn yeah he's got it he's still got it he's still got it after all these years like the motley crew of daily dosing of the internet internet royalty yeah i guess it's funny i think it's like my first podcast i've ever done i've never done like one of these things really never well i'm gonna ask you the hard-hitting questions yeah yeah ask me anything i'm gonna ask you some okay some deep all right don't don't ask him that too many hard-hitting questions or god damn like we want we want guests to come back um he's kidding he's not gonna ask you hard-hitting questions. But yes, Will Neff was dead, reanimated. He's alive.

He's back. You're here. You are here for what reason? I'm here because my 30th birthday is coming up, and I'm like, I want to do something fun. So I wanted to come to LA, and then I came here with no plans, and I just went on Twitter. I said, who wants to hang out? And then Cutie reached out, and a couple other people reached out and said, let's do something. Name some names.

Who are the other people? Who are some of the other people? I don't know. But Alan Walker, he's a close friend of mine. He's got a concert going on. I'll be there on Thursday. But yeah, and then I got that Christmas situation, Christmas Carol thing. Oh, you're going to do that? Yeah.

Cutie was like, hey, come through. I will use you in my concert. Yeah, she did. She did actually. And then she wants you to be Grinch? Yeah, Scrooge. I'm going to be Scrooge. The original Grinch. Which, you know, it fits my personality

so well. I thought it was a little Islamophobic. I'll just say it. It was the elephant in the room. Everyone just naturally assumes you hate Christmas. What is your actual take on Christmas? I fucking love Christmas. I love every American holiday.

I love Western capitalist adaptations of otherwise supposedly important family gatherings or important traditions and it's all hyper uh hyper consumption overdrive i love that shit yeah i'm such a fan dude i had thanksgiving here you went you went back home for thanksgiving i had thanksgiving here where like my my dad flied out from turkey my mom flied from new jersey our whole family my grandparents came back from turkey as well our whole family was here in my house. Like we did it here. I love that shit.

I didn't grow up with it. I don't have it. We didn't have it in Turkey. So I enjoy it so much. Like we don't watch football, but you know, we just like, I like the aspect of like the family getting together. So your parents are still here since Thanksgiving? Yeah.

My mom usually would just get like a one-way ticket and then decide when she wants to go back. Pretty much. My dad has like more obligations in Turkey, so he'll come for like a month or two sometimes, you know, if he can get time out. But that's, that's pretty much it. That's part of the reason why I bought the house was so that they could like come in and out whenever they want to.

Yeah. You know. They're not working though, right? Are they still working? No, they are. Okay. Yeah. They both teach in college. Daily Duster a big christmas guy i love christmas i mean what's not to like about it okay but here's the thing it's not my favorite holiday my favorite holiday is definitely thanksgiving because it's all about family just eating food and there's no

like obligation to buy things so yeah that's wholesome i like like that. No, I agree with that. I guess, like, the only reason why I like Christmas, though, is still because, like, I just never had it. Yeah. So, we would say. Why did you never have it? I'm Turkish. I grew up in Turkey. Okay. So, they don't have.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. They don't have Noel in Turkey. Like, they call it Noel. Some people do it, but, like, not everybody. So, it's not the same. But the funny thing is, in the Muslim world, because they're like, oh, that shit's actually kind of fire, they basically substituted New Year's for Christmas. So we, like, still have the Christmas tree, okay?

But it's not for the 25th. Nothing happens on the 25th. On New Year's, however, that's when people treat it like it's Christmas. So our New Year's and Christmas is, like, tied together, basically. I thought Turkey was, like, a mix of Muslim and Christian. It's predominantly Muslim. It's, like, overwhelmingly majority Muslim. But, yeah, there are Christians and stuff. But it's a type of Muslim that's, like, especially in the big cities, like, very secular.

So it's, like, you know, like an american christian in like new york is like a turkish muslim in izmir or istanbul so they're they don't give a shit they're not like super religious well i think that one of the things why i'm not a huge fan of christmas because like it's all about material things and i'm not a huge material thing person like i was thinking about this the other day and i was just like i love experiences and i love meeting people more than more than actual things i I don't know. Well, the Grinch, you mentioned him earlier. He taught us that in Whoville.

Even without the roast beef, or beast, sorry, and without presents, Christmas still came. Is the Grinch a good guy then, at the end? Well, his heart grows three sizes. Okay. So he had a medical condition. Yes. This is literally ableist able he had triple bypass you're that's ableist dog that's crazy that like they wrote this oh my god it wouldn't fly it

wouldn't fly nowadays i'm telling you thanksgiving guy i'm definitely a thanksgiving guy or halloween what did you do for thanksgiving what i did i just hung out with family stuff you know how to big family guy i'm a huge family guy well that's why i'm still in chicago okay like i'm there i'm there because my family you're are you you're ukrainian are you have ukrainian relatives i am polish and then i have my cousin who is ukrainian who well i have a couple i have a cousin in belarus i have a cousin in poland i got a cousin i basically all of eastern europe that's how it always is, I feel like. Yeah. And so I actually texted them the other day because I know the Russians were... He's covering every angle of the war. I am.

I have every angle. Yeah. Because I have my cousin who's in Belarus. He's like, no. When the war first broke out, my cousin in Belarus, he's like, no, there's no war. What are you talking about? There is war going on. And then my cousin in Ukraine is like, yeah, there's no war. What are you talking about? There is war going on. And then my cousin

in Ukraine is like, yeah, we see the aircraft, we see the bombs. But my cousin in Belarus is like, no, it's just Western propaganda. It's crazy how that works. He was right. Yeah, we are a pro-Putin podcast, so sorry. No politics on the podcast unless we're talking about

our Lord and Savior, Vladimir Putin. he is saving family values in america karate okay that is actually cool that guy wouldn't lie okay don't actually show cool shit that he's doing like you're like you're really like you see him ride a horse naked like that shit's fire yeah i i am such i wish our leaders did that yeah but can you imagine we know his height though was it a horse or was it a pony? That's good. You're right.

No, I think it was a horse. Can't say anything else. It's a horse. No, but, okay, so you're in Chicago. That's the most Chicago lineup, dude. Polish, Belarusian, Ukrainian. So here's a fun fact. I'm full of fun facts. This is what I am.

This is what I love to do. So Chicago has the most Polish speakers outside of Warsaw in the world. That is, that is a fun fact. That is a fun fact, but I know like no Polish. So that's a sad fact. You follow the fun fact up with the sad fact.

Do you get mad at Polish jokes or do you make Polish jokes? Do they make Polish jokes in chicago uh yes i would say so they have to right like i feel like that's a follow-up question are you a tube meat guy i am i'm vegan so no you're vegan that's crazy chicago yeah it's a little rough it's brought capital dude what the i didn't even know that was an option in chic. It's a little rough. I'll tell you that. Coming here is a lot easier. You're like, I want a deep dish. Then it's just a dish. It's just a dish.

It's a little rough in Chicago, but I do food delivery. I can survive. That's crazy. It's a lot easier here in LA. The only vegan man in Chicago. I am probably the only vegan man in Chicago, yes. Wow. How did you come across that journey did you watch like a documentary what happened uh no it's actually uh my friend uh i i are you familiar with uh sweet anita yes yes yeah so yeah well you know we'll talk sometimes and she kind of just you know educated me i was

like okay whatever and she gave you daily dose of the internet. Well, no, here's the thing. She didn't tell me what to do. She kind of just educated me about the process. And then what made me just flip, I go straight vegan right away, is when she went, oh, you know, cows have to get pregnant to make milk. I went, what? Oh, yeah, cow rape. Yeah, and then what really, is when I learned that when baby cows need to die for milk to be produced i'm like oh i'm not cool with this so that is what culture yeah veal yeah veal

so the veal industry is entirely dependent on the dairy industry yeah veal is also not that tasty except for the veal i had at carbone that is the point you made i'm sorry i mean it's just well the reason why i say product of rape isn't even tasty that's sorry i mean it's just well the reason why i say product of rape isn't even tasty that's what i mean it's like it's like cruel like yeah foie gras which is duck liver yeah is produced through a process that would be considered torturous and excruciating uh you know they shove illegal here yeah it's illegal here which strange america will sometimes like in chicago there were certain places that after foie gras became illegal they just took the fines and kept serving foie gras that's how dedicated they are to chicago shit i've ever heard so here's how i actually did

research on this so uh that term foie gras whatever i don't know how to pronounce it so it's illegal in california it is illegal in New York City, but everywhere else in the USA, totally legal. It was illegal in Chicago. Oklahoma. They're going to be like, yeah, I want some of that foie gras. I want some jalapeno poppers and some fried grass. Yeah, put some foie gras on my jalapenos.

But here's where it gets funny. So it was illegal in Chicago in 2006, and then two years later they they brought it back because the restaurant owners had too much rom emmanuel baby bringing it back and they just they just kept serving it too it was a richard daly oh okay he called it the most ridiculous law they ever passed i mean i understand why they would it's like if you're in america and and that's illegal but you can like purchase a gun if you cross the state border like that yeah it's like if you're in America and that's illegal, but you can like purchase a gun if you cross the state border like that. Yeah. It's like what?

We kill each other. Like why the fuck would we care about a duck? Which, again, very torturous method for those of you who don't know at home. You take a, you just like shove a fucking thing down like a tube down the throat of a goose duck and then just pump it full of lard so the liver gets extra fatty. And then you make pate out of it. It's delicious. I think it's a little gamey. Not for everybody.

Not for everyone, but with a little bit of apricot jam, you fucking slice that on a piece of sourdough. So you've had foie gras recently? I haven't had it recently, but I did have veal twice in one week okay in two different places and veal not that good yeah we're i mean you ate me like you're familiar with all these things right like for the first 27 and a half yeah so yeah there's like i was talking about this a lot over the past like weekend or the past week for some reason, but like filet mignon is such a fucking scam. Why is that?

Filet mignon is treated as the best cut of the meat, even though it's because it's just like scarce on the animal, but ribeye is significantly better. I'm going to give a controversial take that I finally in my 33rd year, I'm not afraid to voice it hamburger more tasty than any steak ever that's not that controversial that's very controversial bro it's literally packed with like good things you know what i mean a steak has to ride on its own and unless you have unless you have like wagyu a5 snow beef you you know what I mean? That looks like chicken when you fucking bring it in raw.

It's so fucking marbled that it literally has the color pattern of a slab of chicken breast. Unless it's like that. You should probably stop talking about meats. I can never stop talking about meats. I'm not going to stop you guys. Well, let's get to the hard-hitting stuff. Yeah, let's do it. I'm here.

You've become a pillar of the internet. I guess. It's funny, though, because my standards are so high. I feel like I keep falling upwards. I feel like every month I'm like, I'm a failure, I'm a failure, I'm a failure. Well, even you who feel like you're falling upwards, what do you think it is about your particular brand that attracts so many people? I make it

for everyone so um so oftentimes like i'll avoid certain topics just because i'm like not everyone's gonna like that like there's like a really good video game reference i wanted to use but i'm like not everyone's gonna know that hey cutie oh i did it look who it is wow Wow. Ladies, am I right? Late. Don't say that. Late. I would never miss the podcast. You would never. Will, you weren't even here for the reincarnation of Will. He came back from a self-sucking accident.

He's alive. That's right. We all celebrated. I'm so excited to hear where you've been. Right now, we're giving Daily Dose the hard-hitting questions. Getting them with the hard-hitting questions. Great. I want to dig in. Nice to see you. Yeah, we're getting them with the hard-hitting questions. Great, great.

I want to dig in. Nice to see you again. Sorry, I'm jumping right in. I'm excited. Yes. You look great, though. Thank you. I did my makeup in the car while driving.

Oh, my gosh. That seems dangerous. Yeah. Not when you're this talented. Okay, all right. Well, I think the last time I saw you two guys were streamer awards. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So it's been a while. It has been a while. But I'm trying to change that. I'm trying to come back to LA more often. So I'll be back in March and June. What in March? Oh, Streamer Awards is in March. Yeah.

And then VidCon for June. Oh, that'll be freaking fun. You're doing VidCon? I've never done VidCon before. And so my company's like, you should do it, you should do it. I'm like, okay. Your company,

what do you mean when you say your company? My network. Network, what does that mean? You're a part of a network? Is that like an agency? Yeah, I'm with a collab.

I'm learning. Have you ever heard of collab? C-O-L-L-A-B. No, what does a network do for you? They, well, I'm learning.

Yeah, so they help with, with like title stuff, back end video'm learning. Yeah, so they help with, like, title stuff, back-end video research stuff. Whoa. So, like, they do, like, a lot of, like, the technical stuff to make my numbers better. Are you happy with them?

Love them. Oh, that's interesting. That's the first time I've heard a YouTuber say they love the network that they're under. I love them. I mean, they do a great job, so I have no complaints. MCNs, for the most part, were, you know were kind of scammy, but I guess collab is different. This is very inside baseball.

Yeah. Inside baseball. We do a little bit of inside baseball. We do inside baseball here now. I try and steer us away from too much inside. I had, yeah, well, you weren't here, so that's literally all I did with courage. So here's my follow-up question. We're going to hit you with the hard-hitting stuff.

Uh-oh. You have one of the most iconic voices on the internet. Okay. I'm just a regular guy. That's what I feel like every day. Yeah. Okay. We're gonna hit you with the hard-hitting stuff. Oh, you have one of the most iconic voices on the internet, okay? You've noticed that your voice like it's one of the most you know What am I gonna get a daily dose audio book Whenever you want I don't know oh I want it ASAP I I do it all time for free like people like hey, can you wish my kid a happy birthday? I'm like hey hey Jaden happy birthday. Hopefully have a fun. I do that all the time. free. People are like, hey, can you wish my kid a happy birthday? I'm like, hey, Jaden, happy birthday.

Hopefully you have fun. I do that all the time. He did it. That's good. That'll be $600. Do we have a short Christmas story that maybe later in the pod we could have the Daily Dose read with his poetic? Yeah, we'll play some music, copyright-free music in the background as well.

Yeah, we could do that. I love that. See, I'm doing content. That's a great idea. That's a great idea. He's back. He's back. I'm my own dick.

He's back. I was perking late in ideas. Okay, I have a question I ask a lot of people. Sure. If you could make a perfect piece of content. I don't make content. I just put it together. But if you could.

He is the glue. He is the Van Gogh. What is your, do you have any artistic ambitions outside of your regular product? Oh, I do, but I don't want to, like, I'm good with what I do. Like you don't want to have those ambitions. That's the first time I've ever heard too much work. Like I'm good. I like my workload is perfect. I love it. So like I upload twice a week, month, every Monday and Thursday. It used to be every day. That was insane. Yeah. be every day. That was insane. Yeah, that's crazy.

That was insane. I had no life. That's a lot. And then it was three times a week. Oh yeah, it is daily dose of the internet. That's why it used to be called daily dose. Now it's here's your twice a weekly dose. It's bi-weekly dose of internet now. It doesn't hit as hard.

It doesn't ring the same. It doesn't hit as hard. It doesn't ring the same. Yeah, so for marketing reasons, we got to keep it the same, you know? Yeah. But yeah, I don't know. I'm happy with my workload and everything and I'm good.

Like they want me to like jump on TikTok and everything and really pump, pump, pump out Oh, interesting. They want me to get on YouTube shorts. Here's your hourly dose of TikTok. You should get on YouTube shorts. I'm worried about YouTube shorts. I know it's perfect for my content, but I'm worried on how that impacts. Like, so like when you first upload a YouTube shorts, how does that impact actual regular videos no it's good it's good no i i talked i talked to streamers all the time i talked

to youtubers all the time uh the shorts are like on crack right now for your overall subscriber count like you you will reach a much broader audience that you had not reached before um i understand that your secondary concern is like, will it prioritize the shorts on your own subscription? Like for people who have subscribed to you, will it prioritize the shorts over your regular videos? I don't think that is... Is that an issue? I haven't heard it from anybody.

Okay, because I wanted to wait for things like to settle down a little bit before I jumped on that. So I might do it. I might do it. I know that like a lot of channels on jumped on that. So I might do it. I might do it. I know that like a lot of channels on YouTube that just do shorts have like blown up

like tens of millions of fucking subscribers just on shorts. Well, like I know I could blow up, but I'm just saying like it's more about the money. No, I understand. Speaking of YouTube shorts,

the United States beat Iran yesterday in the World Cup and made its way through for the first time since 2006. Anybody watching the World Cup? I watched it. Okay. I watched it. Alright. Did you feel? I felt nothing.

Them Iranians. I'm not too into soccer. Right. I'm not watching it because I want to protest it. Because 6,000 people died to build the stadiums and stuff. Oh shit. I didn't know that. Yeah, what the fuck? I000 people died to build the stadiums and stuff. Oh, shit. I didn't know that. Yeah, what the fuck? I'm sorry I watched it.

You literally did that. You killed that. How does that feel? Well, also, they don't allow beer. So that's also bad. That's not good either. Yeah. I like that.

It's like 6,000 slaves were murdered in the process of building this. That's crazy. That's a lot of people. Not giving beer. Yeah, no, this is pretty fucked up. I mean, we don't do any politics on the podcast. We're not trying to do politics, but how do they get away with that? But it's called having a lot of money.

Really? I should try it. Half the Earth's population is watching the World Cup. Yeah, they bribed FIFA, which is probably one of the most overtly corrupt institutions on the planet. FIFA's very corrupt. Really? Literally.

Yeah, I would say they are so overtly corrupt. Like, they're so open and so brazen with the bribes that they take. So would you say that American football is the actual football and a better sport? No. That's interesting. So you support the murder of slaves. We're going to move right past that. Famously, America as a of slaves we're gonna move right past famously america as a nation we're gonna move and football is an enterprise the week that jerry jones uh

in his photo resurfaced in arkansas did you see that where he was uh the cowboy's owner yes oh yeah jerry jones yeah uh a photo research 100 years old yeah very very old and of course if you're like a very old white guy from the south maybe where were you during the time of segregation oh that's right he was at a fucking protest at a school where they were allowing black people to go to that school he was in that famous little rock yeah jerry jones little rock in Rock, and the photo of the Cowboys owner, Juke, for decades. Now, technically, he had actually came out. He did like a soft launch of it, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Back in like 2006 in a book. I may or may not have protested. Maybe he was just there to learn. Oh, yeah. In 2010, in an oral history project for the University of Arkansas, his alma mater, Jones couched his part in the contentious scene at north little rough i know jerry jones and i am looking at this photo and jerry jones is so fucking old now that i cannot i can't identify yeah what internet sleuth no he said which one is he wait he outed himself yeah what no he did it he so he did it like to be

like well i talked about it back in the day. You know what I mean? It's like one of those things. Oh, my God. He soft launched his- His cancellation? Yeah. Wow.

That's a new technique to soft launch your own cancellation. Anything you want to be canceled for? Yeah. Get out ahead of time. Yeah. It's like if- What's the Clippers guy? If he ahead of time was like

you know i talked about this before i just don't like my significant other having sex with black men not a big deal i talked about this before sports has some real you know not great moments for sure yeah no well aren't they not called owners anymore in the NBA? They're called CEOs. That is such an NBA move. I love that. It's so stupid. Because they don't want, you know, it's like 2022, I guess. Yeah, that's like changing the name of the master bedroom from the master bedroom to the primary bedroom or whatever.

Like, wow. Wow, we really did it we really did it we did it guys you know the the culture is over the cultural and material impact of white supremacist segregation and slavery is done yeah it's like doing land acknowledgments like they do it in canada they're like oh we're in you know stolen choctaw land you know and then they will continue on with the presentation. Well, cutie, have you announced that you're a jets fan yet?

Because the jets have supported Taylor Swift. So full throated. Is that true? Yes. Did you get tickets? Yes, I did. I got tickets.

I waited six hours. $50,000. Where did you wait six hours? $50,000. Well, that's for a different show. So I got tickets to two shows. Sorry, Swifties. You are on $50,000 50 000 well if you count my other show i spent 53 000 total was it just one ticket no no

no no where are you sitting on stage don't be mad um i did this instead of buying a car which admittedly that is literally dumber why did you admit that why did you admit that that's so much i don't i have an old car i have a car it works fine i don't need a new one uh-huh yeah so where are you sitting what is 53 000 does it get you some of taylor's hair dude no that's the worst part you don't even get to meet taylor swift oh wow okay i was like i was like you have to meet taylor swift 50 grand's a lot 50 grand I know It's a lot of money It's the most I've ever spent Besides on a house

But it Okay Guys So I got tickets to the The normal tickets Which were just like They're like row Four tickets

Right Those I got five of those And that was like $3,000 total Oh that's I got five of those In one show

Yeah Because I'm going to that one With like Leslie And all those guys yeah the the swifters and then a few days we were not invited noticeably you guys don't you don't even like her well i'm a swifty now because the jets have basically defended yes defended taylor swift unconditionally also um what would be a better opportunity to change a john mayer friend and fans mind than

going to a Taylor Swift concert? I'll consider you. You're not a priority because you can't name more than 10 songs. Okay. First of all, your body is a wonderland. No! Your body is a wonderland. Every time.

And then, so I bought it. I was sitting- Screen door. Red dress. I'm in. No! I know you were trouble when you bought it. I was sitting- Screen door, red dress. I'm in. No. I know you were trouble when you walked in. Is that Taylor Swift?

Yeah. Let's go. Do you ever feel like a plastic bag? No. That's also not even the name of the song. That's Katie. Fuck. We're gonna move on.

We're gonna move on. Anyway, I noticed they sold boxes. So I bought a box for $50,000. Yes. You know who buys those, right? What's in the box? Yeah. What's in the box?

You know who buys those? 20 seats. I get 20 tickets. Like Visa. You guys are still not on the list. 20 seats. We are not even in the top 20? We didn't make the top 20.

We are not in the top 20? What the fuck? I'm taking my Mormon family. Oh. How big is your Mormon family? What do. Oh. How big is your Mormon family? What do you mean? How big is my Mormon family? It's like a thousand people.

I don't have 20 family members that I like enough to get into a box seat with Taylor Swift. Well, I didn't say I like them enough. You're bringing people that you don't like to your fucking box? Dude, you know who buys box seats? They're bought by like Visa, MasterCard, AT&T, and then also cutie cinderella that's crazy yeah it was you know the visa executives get to meet how does your mormon family know taylor swift if they don't have electricity yeah exactly um no well okay so i gotta mix up with amish sorry all my siblings they're turning butter married yeah and so that's like 10 people already that's yuck

so like not only are you bringing your sisters some of which you don't like you also are bringing their deadbeat husbands yeah that's crazy never listen to taylor swift that's crazy i bet those guys don't even know about taylor swift and you're bringing them and you're not bringing us well we'll see where the list lands okay will you Will you remember me? Yeah. There he goes. Is that a Taylor Swift song? Yeah. Okay. Wildest Dreams. I need to get my.

But Jason likes Taylor Swift. I have no opinion. Yeah, man. He was also not. I don't like follow. I really thought you were on my team. I don't follow artists. I just like songs.

What do you do? Yeah, Mr. Dose. Don't think. Close your eyes. Spit out the first thing that comes to your head. We're talking about it. Go. Now.

Apple was the first thing that came to my head. Apple. Like the food or the product to your head. We're talking about it. Go! Now! Apple was the first thing that came to my head. Apple. Like the food or the product? The food. Oh. Okay. You eat apples. Okay, my family.

You work out. You work out. My family owns an orchard. I'm an apple guy. Okay, now you're just flexing too. You own an orchard. That's my dream. That is my dream.

My dream is to retire and open up an apple orchard. I feel like you could do that without retiring. Oh. No. I think you could get one now if you wanted. I guess I could. What is it about apples? I think he dreams to operate apple orchard. I feel like you could do that without retiring. Oh, no. I think you could get one now if you wanted. I think he's used to operate the orchard. I want to get inside this man's mind because he had the whole world of opportunities.

Went with something as humble as the apple. I love apple picking and apple orchards and I love bees and I love nature. You love bees? I would love to be a farmer. My family has a honey plant. I have a fucking like my fucking hey do you like to come to our hive house sure so like my retirement dream goal is like a big old farm get some goats um apple orchard that whole thing like i'm a pretty pretty i like that that's cool yeah i'm not a city person

sorry no i'm not either i love city so you just you want the simple life i'm a city person. Sorry. No, I'm not either. I love cities. So you just, you want the simple life. I'm a pretty simple guy. Yeah. Do you do any, do you have a green thumb? Huge green thumb. Huge green thumb. What are you growing right now? What am I growing right now?

Right now it's just a little maple tree. A little maple tree. I'm trying to grow that. So, I mean, not the greenest. Not the greenest. I don't have a house. I don't have a garden yet. I have an apartment, so.

Why don't you get a house? You got to get one of those walls that you can grow all kinds. I don't have a house yet because my life is a garden yet. I have an apartment, so. Why don't you get a house? You got to get one of those walls that you can grow all kinds. I don't have a house yet because my life is still up in the air. My life changes so fast year to year. Sure. So, like, I don't know where I'm going to be, you know. Okay. I kind of, I rent because I want to keep things open.

Right. Okay. Like, I don't want to. Well, you're not taking advantage of that openness. Well, also, also, it's a really bad time to buy a house because of mortgage rates and everything. That's true. That is true. Are you a pot smoker?

I... Yeah. You strike me as a pot smoker. I'm definitely not an alcohol guy. I'm definitely a weed guy, but I don't make a habit of it. You just hit the Pennington every once in a while? I don't own any. Sometimes I'll see friends and stuff.

And you're like, let me go to Blinker City. Yeah, the friends will be like, come on over. I're like, let me go to blinker city. Yeah. The little, you know, friends will be like, you know, come on over. I'm like, okay, cool. Let's have some fun. Have you ever watched, um, Damien luck, AKA fulcrum? Uh, don't think so. Yodi land. Yodi gang.

No, no. I don't really watch content. Faded in a hole. Faded in a hole. Faded in a hole. Faded in a hole. How is that possible? How do you source your videos?

I, I find, I scroll scroll through my my entire day is like four to five hours worth of scrolling through tiktok instagram oh my gosh twitter like all i spend like almost all my time on social media i don't really watch tv shows or anything because like i just put my head down and grind and then when you see stuff you message people and you ask if you can use it right yeah yeah wow i don't really watch too much content it's really rare all right i'm gonna ask you a hard-hitting question you keep saying that yeah none of them hit hard these are hard hitting like hard he's like i have a hard-hitting question for you how do you like to spend your monday morning no ready i'm ready you are arguably the internet's

finest curator sure thank you what is your favorite internet video of all time? That is a hard-hitting question. Never mind. Oh my God, he did it. I'm freaking out. But the thing is that the problem with that is that there's so many videos I see and it's like

they kind of blend together. I'm not letting you off the hook. I need highlights. I need like there's got to be ones that stand out in your head that you're like, damn. There aren't really

that stand on my head because they all just blur together. They blur together after a while. It's like, what's it called? Doom scrolling or something like what's it called doom scrolling or something yeah does it hurt your brain it does because i get off tiktok after 15 minutes and i'm like whoa that's crazy only 15 minutes i feel drugged well here's the thing i actually was really worried because when tiktok first started to emerge it was like distorting my brain inversion of reality because like i would

i actually had to get help for this. So I got therapist help for this. Cause it was that, cause I was spending so much time scrolling through TikTok. It was my full-time job. It was distorting my view of reality and distorting my view of perception. How was it? He's like daily dose of misogyny. I don't want to get into details.

Wrong side of TikTok. Yeah. It kind of messed me up a little bit, but I'm good now. But yeah, so I actually had to get help for that. That's crazy. Fascinating. That's how bad TikTok is. No wonder you want to own a farm.

You kind of resent technology. I am totally fine with just disconnecting from the internet forever. Wow. I think, you know what it is? It's because he turned his passion into a job. Well, it's something that's supposed to be fun. I don't enjoy social media like everyone else does because I have it curated for me.

All my algorithms are not made for me. All my algorithms are made for Daily Dose of the Internet curations. They're made for everyone else. I know exactly what you mean by that. That's kind of why I rarely ever spend time on TikTok because my TikTokiktok algorithm is curated specifically for the types of like weird right wing we scrolled your algorithm one time yeah like weird right wing content creators that i or like random right wing people that are

like i'm gonna go take a gun out and shoot irs agents like i'm looking for that all the time so i think my and then I also like scroll for personal pleasure as well sometimes. So it's just like this weird combination of like those two worlds and TikTok doesn't do a good job of like delivering the sauce for me. I think we have a thread of something fascinating.

Sure, go for it. Who would unplug from the internet? I'd like to unplug from the internet, but it's my job. Do you have a break-even point do you have a goal where you're like i'm fucking nuking this and i'm gone and you'll never see me uh probably two to three years whoa unless something changes so it's not money it's the time thing it's a time thing because like my my goal is just be done with youtube by by 32 and then just travel the world see friends so i've you know you could do that right now i'm

doing that right now yeah would you ever sell your business and just lend them your voice like once a day you wake up on your orchard and you go whoa and you do the give me give me the yeah uh hello everyone this is your daily dose internet and then it's someone else who's cut it and put it together yeah so i've talked to a few people like i've had a lot of offers for a lot of money and so uh that might be the goal eventually wow yeah that's really cool to think about like they could just send you lines and you just say them and then it's like maybe i could do that i'm beginning to realize we're on the exact opposite end of like content creation in the sense of like there's no like like you never want to stop i can't i never want to stop i would never want

to stop i love what i do and also it's pull his dead cold hands. I would never want to stop. I love what I do. And also, it's impossible. Like who the fuck. I mean, I think you could just record top of the hour ad breaks. Yeah, that's my content. And then someone could stall. Yeah. And that would, it wouldn't be the same, but it'd be.

They'd still watch it. Pretty much. That's my content. Well, it's also because people are there for you. They're not there for me. They're there for the content. That's the difference. Yeah, you almost did it right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You did it correct. I guess I there for me. They're there for the content. That's the difference. Yeah, you almost did it right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You did it correct. I guess I did it right. We sold our souls. Exactly. That was our mistake. Do you prefer that, though? Do you like that?

Or is there a part of you that sometimes wishes, like, I wish it wasn't just, like, the daily dose of the internet, but I wish it was more me. And also that, like, people knew me for me and like i i got to see that because you you're surrounded by people surrounded by content creators who you know that put their face out there and have like adoring fans and whatnot do you ever feel you know that's kind of what i'm doing right now i'm kind of like i like to dip in and dip out and i realize this is my personality i like to social, but only on my own terms. Oh, that's interesting. Like if people just like show up to my place unannounced, which would never happen.

But if it did, I'd be furious. Like, what are you doing here? Has anyone ever recognized you by your voice? By my voice? A ton of times. Like maybe like a dozen times. Maybe. I feel like if you were a pharmacist, it'd be every day.

Yeah, but I don't. But the thing is that like I've only gotten recognized by my face, like, three times. Like, it's super rare. It was funny, though, because I was at my gym, and some girl came up to me, like, are you Daily Dose? And I'm like, yeah, I am. She took a, I've never seen her before. She took a picture of me, and then I never saw her ever again. So I think maybe she got, like, embarrassed or, like.

Oh, interesting. I'm like, I was expecting her to keep coming back to the gym because, like, oh, that's where Daily Dose is. But maybe she felt like it was weird. How long ago did you do your face reveal? It was pretty recent, wasn't it? I don't know. I've never done a big reveal.

You just kind of posted your face. Yeah, and I never did a big reveal. For some reason, I thought people were like, oh, this is what he looks like I mean it was a face reveal for us for the first time when we saw it Yeah For us it seemed like a face reveal I'm just curious if when you did a face reveal

If you got like a bunch of sliders The thing is that I think it's always been out there No one really put the two together I think there was a couple viral clips That were like me saying it with my voice You know what It was pretty much the streamer awards I was like my face reveal it ruined this man's life i'm so sorry i'm good you didn't get any

sliders slider people that slide into your dms you try to smash really really wow that surprised me i'm good so uh question for you um you have friends that are content creators you've mentioned some of them um but would you say that the uh you know overwhelming amount of your group of friends are just normans civilians pretty much well you know i have a lot to think is the reason why i'm here right now is because my friend alan walker he's he's actually right gonna be down the road there performing tonight or tomorrow. Oh, cool. Yeah, yeah.

And you guys are all invited. He's not down the road from my house. He's not saying that. He's just saying like down the road with respect to Los Angeles to where he's coming from. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, like, I don't know, up there.

But yeah, he's like responsible for me like getting out here because he reached out to me. He's like, hey, Daily Dose, I love your videos come come to my you know come to my concerts come on oh my gosh i'm like okay so he's like the first time i ever like stepped out of my comfort zone and now i'm like addicted to hanging out with uh content creators and things like that so like i have all to thank for him so we're very addictive. No, I think we have a lot in common, him and I. We have a lot of anxieties.

Yeah, we are very weird. Our DMs consist of, you're afraid of that too? Yeah, we both have high anxiety issues. What are you afraid of the most? Afraid of the most is dying before doing the things I wanted to do. That's crazy. If I died, I'd be pissed. Yeah, I'd be mad. spiders is dying before doing the things i wanted to do oh that's crazy like so if i if i died i'd be pissed i i'd be mad what's your number one bucket list item that you haven't done

uh well come closer to the microphone by the way a little closer uh have a deep meaningful connection with a significant other oh my gosh that is you know like i've had a few relationships and everything i've had a few relationships and everything But I'm a people person And that would be I've had a few glimpses of it And it's beautiful Mine are so much more superficial

But material things don't make me happy You know Will's like I want a five some on top of the Eiffel Tower Yeah he's like he wants to buy a boat I actually had that conversation with Austin's show last night. Oh, God. And he couldn't name anything that wasn't sex. Yeah, he has a problem.

That's the least surprising thing I've ever heard. He's a monster. He came to the realization he wanted to have, like, a coached orgy. Oh, my God. He wanted an orgy, but like um airplane traffic controller i love how he somehow made this like vein process even more yeah yeah vein he is this he has a unique bug that one yeah he also has a lot of anxieties much like you i haven't met him yet he seems like a funny guy he is really funny he is like a lot of people don't realize how funny he is he's great in doses i like a daily

dose yeah i like a daily dose of austin when he can get a little bit much yeah he's a diva he's like shows up to a place before saying hello is like is the air conditioner on so you've been unlucky in love thus far i don't know about lucky it's more like um i've got my own things i'm kind of battling right now. Therapy is great. Okay, what's the second thing on your bucket list that does not involve a significant other? I don't know. Just trying to make friends and meet new people. God damn it. Give me something

material. That's literally what I'm addicted to right now. Fuck. You're too goddamn wholesome. No, here's the situation. I want to open an orphanage. Growing up, I was like, I never talked. I didn't have any friends in high school. Like, I was, like, I was sitting at the weird kid table in high school. Like, I never had friends.

Like, to give you an example how, where I was in high school, it would be me and three other people. One was this Asian woman who did not speak English. Another one was a heroin addict who taught us how to inject heroin. Kind of cool to learn though. He said, you have to inject it in your toes because that way no one knows. Yeah, no marks.

Yeah. And then some other chubby guy that would produce milk from his nipples. Wait, that's crazy. So you had free milk and free heroin? And maybe even learned Mandarin? That's awesome. Those were my three friends in high school.

Do you think that that upbringing gave you unique insight into the internet and helped develop your early product? Yeah, maybe. But I didn't have full access to the internet until I was 18. Oh my gosh. Really? I was on parental controls, you know? I had a pretty strict household. I don't know if that helped me or healed we're filming what are you doing right now just open the door hi bud see you later

yes please include that that was good dude living oh my god hey what audio or listeners what you just missed is marsh just cut out no you can you can keep it that is an insane he so you had strict parental yeah yeah yeah i guess i guess i did but i get me too by the way really the the the man that you just saw peek in here to be like hey someone's at the door instead of just opening the door uh yeah they they wouldn't let me play any video games really well they wouldn't let me play any video games on the internet so i had to play dota secretly uh yeah so my dad didn't let me play video games like well like bloody video games like call of duty he hated me playing call of duty he's like you're gonna turn into one of those school shooters or something you know it's always local

news no it's always you know that's interesting that you say that because like it's literally local news like they wouldn't let me play they wouldn't let me play online games because they thought like a pedophile would like groom me if i played online video games because they probably saw like news coverage you know what i mean yeah and then and then that stuck with them same with like oh video games cause mass uh shootings so you were deprived of the internet till 18. Did you binge when you were out of the home? Did you just gorge yourself on internet?

I don't know, but I... He made it his life. What do you mean? Yeah, so I definitely... I think that sheltering made me a little more wholesome. So I'm less... I don't know. I feel like I'm more wholesome. So I'm less, I don't know.

I feel like I'm more wholesome than most people. So we'll never get a daily dose compilation. Whoa. These are hard hitting questions. Sorry for that hard hitting question. That was hard. These are hard hitting questions. I don't know. I'm not going to respond to that.

My coworker here is a little. Cutie, have you ever watched a compilation? I, you know, admittedly i've shouldn't have watched this well i clicked on i got i got clickbaited it was like you got clickbaited no stop litter litter cook yeah i know what she's about to say go on toki means standing up the compilation i was like what could this consist of and i watched it it's just her walking away from her desk a hundred times and i was like wow someone is making money i watched all hundred

times i loved it you didn't turn it so good yeah was he good yeah was she standing up well she stood up she got 30 with it a few times wow yeah cool but i get clickbait into those all the time actually mia malkova the other day tweeted she was was like, this is my better Twitter account. I was like, okay. And then I was like, oh, okay. I get click baited a lot. That is one thing that I've noticed is I have a lot of friends who make risque content. And when I'm on an airplane, right, trying to get jets updates.

Oh, you have to mute. Sometimes I'll be like, ah! No, you have to mute them. Really shut up. Because I scroll Twitter all the time as a part of my stream. to mute sometimes i'll be like like yeah you know you have to mute them really shut up because i i i scroll twitter all the time as a part of my stream yeah and i i learned very early on if you have a sex worker friend you have to mute them yeah yeah because if you don't they will show up on your timeline soda poppin you know the only time i almost ever got banned is because i was

like i went to soda poppin's twitter and i clicked on his replies because i was like soda's unhinged on twitter is what i'm telling on my stream and i click on his replies and he's just replying to titty pics and i was like yeah yeah he's out of this world yeah so i think but this is something ludwig talks about he talks about horny gap where like a lot of guys fail in like their career or their relationships because they get too horny and they like quit or they like get distracted and that's what like ned from try guys perfect example horny guy he lost he lost everything got off the bat yeah you can't be wife guy and then cheat i think it stems from a place of of a lack of experience nah dude the internet's so horny no no like yeah yeah bro but

you're on the internet i'm on the internet like sometimes i'm devastating so horny. No, no. Yeah, yeah. Bro, but you're on the internet. I'm on the internet. And sometimes I'm devastatingly horny. Okay, that's fair. But I'm open about my hornyness. But when you're, I think like, I've been in relationships while being on the internet and my eyes have never wandered, but also because like, you know,

I take a long ass time to get to that position. And when I'm single, I'm just, you know. Well, I take a long ass time to, to get to that position. And when I'm single, I'm just, you know, well, when it's right, when it's right, when the person that you're with just blocks out everyone else, it's really cool. Yeah. I don't, I don't have like, uh, well then you haven't gotten horny gaps that you're, I think it's because like, I think it's because like when I, I think when I'm single, I just do whatever I want. That's's it you know what i mean oh so you're saying you work it out of your system yeah you don't have to worry about that's

what you're supposed to do i think when you're single you're supposed to just like work it out of your work it out of your system bro i i i'm not once a day like i'm just letting you know propitia lowered my libido to a degree where i have like a normal male libido now what's that it's what we take to maintain our hairline medication it's weird though because like aren't you supposed to lose your hair if you're if your mother's so your grandpa on your mom's side yeah yes okay very bald my grandpa is very bald and i'm not balding but you're also just turning 30 yeah but when does it happen you might have hit you might have hit one of those nice recessive

alleles you know i mean i don't know if it does happen i was gonna shave it off but also we have technology nowadays you can just put it back so no that's the one thing that technology is not like definitely fixed because if that was the case jeff bezzos would not be bald. Elon Musk's hair plugs would not be leaving his hair regularly. That is the one instance where like they haven't hit that sweet spot. That and like penis enlargement, I would say,

is like the two things. Oh my God. Yeah, you missed it. She had some freak ideas. You know what's interesting about penis enlargement? If it existed, everyone would enlarge their penis. It would be the most

common. Because even dudes, listen, I don't care if you have a 12 inch. Every person's cervix would be suffering. It's like there's always a bigger fish. I know guys with hogs who would still punch it up a little bit. Because where would

you stop? I'm very fond. Where would you stop? I'm very fond of my penis. I would definitely punch it up a little bit. Because where would you stop? I'm very fond. I don't know. Where would you stop? I'm very fond of my penis. I would definitely get it. It would be an annual thing for me. I'd be like, I'm at 15 solid, but I could always go bigger. You know, it's like with breast implants.

They just always went bigger. Yeah, you know what it is? They just always went bigger. No, that's literally what it is. Okay, you just cracked the code yeah because like uh women have the capacity to stop yes and plenty do they sometimes like some ladies will get like you know they'll go for a c cup if they're like a cup yeah and it's like nice round b you know a little bit of retrosay, right? Retrosay. And then they'll stop.

Men have no capacity. Like, if it was as easy to get penis enlargement as it is for, like, you know, a titty enlargement, you're right. People would be walking around. You'd have, like, CEOs shaking hands and their penises are falling out of their fucking khakis. Ludwig would tuck the tip of his cock into his crock. No, I could see Ludwig not getting penis enlargement.

I don't even get it. For like the quirkiness of not getting it, you know? Ludwig's, we're all getting penis enlargement. Yeah, we'd all get it. We'd all get it. We're all getting penis enlargement. No, he's just so large, he doesn't need it. The cap.

Everybody's getting penis enlargement. Billy Ray Brains is getting penis. I don't know if Daily Dose would get a penis. You're too wholesome. Everybody's getting penis enlargement. Billy Ray Brains is getting penis. I don't know if Daily Dose would get a penis. You're too wholesome. He's good. I'm happy. He's happy. You got a monster cocktail.

I have no complaints. I'm very happy. I mean, I'm happy too, but- His level of confidence and calm only comes from a man who has an absolute sea monster. I think you can always- Nope. I think you can always go bigger.

I'm telling you, I'd be out here with a 15 inch. It could be funny though. Yeah, it could be funny. I think it'd be funny. He could wear it as a scarf. Yeah.

Ew. Fluff it around. Just a flesh scarf. Oh God. It'd be good. It's gonna be a weird time for you, Mandy, with a penis enlargement.

Yeah. Do you think that there are men out there who would use a cadaver's penis? You were literally doing the thing that she was talking about last Patreon episode. I failed! Patreon episode, patreon.com slash fearhand. It was dissected.

Yeah, she brought that up. Like she was just saying. Do you think that they haven't done that because they're worried that organ donors, there would be a significant drop off because men wouldn't want their hog harvested no my idea was that you could sell it like free trade yeah what's the full thing you're talking about well imagine this okay go for it patreon.com slash for your end that's what you have to imagine we'll see dive into it a little more but essentially you um you chop it off and you say she said homeless people should be able to give their fat hogs to like rich people so they

can get home has a seven incher he doesn't care for it that is the that is the logical limit of capitalism i know we need to make a movie i don't know but that critique she called it she called it a utopia and i was like, in your utopian society, there's still homeless people. Not after they sell their penis. Who needs to sell their cocks? After they sell their penis, they're not homeless.

They don't care about, they don't want it. I don't know about that. I think most men would rather be homeless than lose their dick. Really? Well, no, they trade it.

No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, they trade it down. They wake up with a stranger's small penis wow yeah it's wild but we'll continue to get we'll continue to get more wild on the Patreon proportion yeah you were a little late

it's not my fault I live 4 hours away no I know well that is literally your fault listen before we get into the paid portion i would just like to thank daily dose of the internet thank you i think you a very humble way undervalue your product i think a lot of people set their watch by it it's a calming presence like something tremendous and it was great to have your perspective thank you so much will i really it. Where can people find you? Daily Dose. YouTube.com slash Daily Dose Internet.

Thank you. All right. Where can people- Let's go to the Christmas concert. I know. What are you singing at the Christmas concert? You are tricking him out. Wait, you do want to sing?

I'll sing. Why would I not want to sing? Or, or, he reads the night before Christmas. All right. Are I going to read it? I don't- In the Daily Dose voice that everyone loves. Shut it down.

Shut it down. Wait, that was genius. Whatever you want me to do, I'm fine. I am pouring you out. You are tricking him out. No, no, no. There's something about you that I see in myself. And that's why I invite you to so many things.

Yeah, yeah. I don't really like. I need someone to drag me along to do things. I'm a dragger. Yes. Thank you for dragging me to places. Oh, yeah. Oh, she do things. I don't really. I'm a dragger. Yes. Thank you for dragging me to places. Oh yeah. Oh,

she's a dragger. All right. She's a dragger. You do not know what you just unlocked. Okay. Yeah. Well, she will also publicly shame you.

Go for it. Yeah. She will publicly shame you and like, we'll, we'll tweet out messages. I saw you telling him to be a, I, no one,

you listen, I already told Will that you were his understudy in case you don't show up but there's just no one would be a better Scrooge because then people will be like really mad you know you'll get cancelled it'll help the concert there's not a better Scrooge probably the most overqualified understudy

you are Will would be a better actor in Scrooge, but you are just better... Why? Why? Can we mention one thing before... Oh, he's great.

No, no, no, no. Before we go, did you cast him as Scrooge because he's Muslim? Be honest. It is giving Islamophobia, cutie. Everyone is thinking it. What?

Everyone is thinking it. I didn't know that was a thing. Yeah. Do you hate Christmas? I did it because I'm rich Hassan And people hate you For being rich

Oh Yeah People hate you For being rich Yeah And you're clouded Let's be honest Yeah

Anyway We'll talk more about Cuties We'll talk more about Cuties Islamophobia Behind the paywall At patreon.com Slash fear and

See you on the other side What do you mean? You could just have a gun in the classroom yeah they will let you do that in florida yeah i guess you could but like being like a substitute teacher would be cool like that'd be cool i want to be a substitute teacher like oh yeah mr king's here hell yeah plus then the roulette is kind of on your side you know what's the chances that that's the day but everyone loves your substitute teacher like everyone remembers that cool substitute teacher that had in school you're right i want to be that guy i know you should never guess every week you're getting the thick of it this has been a work in progress i'm good do you like the name furin i'm not a big fan

personally i'm not okay because like i didn't know what it was about daily dose i don't i don't even care about the name i don't care but like bitch