Fear& - Down The Conspiracy Rabbit Hole w/ Jarvis Johnson & Jordan Adika | Fear&SadBoyz

Episode Date: August 21, 2023

This week we're joined by the Sad Boyz Jarvis & Jordan in the middle of a hurricane (underwhelming) to go on a journey down the conspiracy rabbit holes that no one asked for.  Seriously i dunno why this episode turned out the way it did or why this is the direction it took but tbh it ended up being a banger so im not complaining. Also the patreon episode was fantastic as well, QT goes into detail about her first standup show among other things check it out!!  Hope you guys enjoy love ya :)!🎉BONUS CONTENT🍾 🌟PATREON - https://www.patreon.com/FearAnd🎧 AUDIO PLATFORMS - https://linktr.ee/fearand♥ follow our guests! ♥Jarvis: https://twitter.com/jarvisJordan: https://twitter.com/JordanAdika✰ follow Fear&! ✰Hasan: https://twitter.com/HasanthehunWill: https://twitter.com/TheWillNeffQT: https://twitter.com/QTCinderellaAustin: https://twitter.com/AustinontwitterMarche: https://twitter.com/MarcheFear&: https://twitter.com/FearAndPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Calling all sellers, Salesforce is hiring account executives to join us on the cutting edge of technology. Here, innovation isn't a buzzword. It's a way of life. You'll be solving customer challenges faster with agents, winning with purpose, and showing the world what AI was meant to be. Let's create the agent-first future together. Head to salesforce.com slash careers to learn more. Saluk Razul. Oh my gosh. I'm getting an emergency warning.

It says it's salute. I'm also getting an emergency warning. Oh shit. I would go. What is the emergency warning that it's flooding? A flash flood. A flash flood warning is in effect for this area until 3 a.m. This is a dangerous and life-threatening situation.

Do not attempt to travel unless you are fleeing an area subject to flooding or under evacuation order. Do not attempt to travel for podcasts specifically. It says. What the fuck? I guess L.A. is like very confident. Mine is telling me to do it. Oh, yeah?

Mine's telling me. What the hell? This is so mean. You're like, hey, if you have to be on a podcast, you should definitely travel. If I were to guess one, I would guess Kassem because I assume that's where Kassem G got his name. Yeah, I would have done the same thing. Because Kassem G...

No, he notoriously loves Aladdin. He's always said that. Big Aladdin guy. That makes sense. Is it real? Yeah. Are you kidding? I'm not kidding you.

I would put... Isn't his name just Kassem? It's actually a name. It's a water name. Water bottle and if I lose I will throw this water bottle away and I really want to drink this water bottle.

It's right. You're welcome. What's the Why does he need to know this? Because he's probably playing Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. Or watching Aladdin. I can't relate to this character you can't go back this

is dad wikia for aladdin so i can like go home right because you can ignore emergency alerts yeah wait did you guys get the one today that was like earthquake duck and cover i was like yeah yeah that one was a little wild because it was like only for like a maximum five seconds. Right. What is happening? Okay, welcome back to Fear, Ann. The world is ending and we're still here and we're still doing a podcast. That's right.

I'm joined by Cutie Cinderella, who is graciously decided to show up for the pod. I literally work here. Graciously. It was graciously decided to show up for the pod. I literally work here. And, of course, we have two incredible guests here with us. The hosts of the Sad Boys podcast, who I did their podcast. I don't know why I said it like that. Like, I had sex with them last night. All right. I got to get going, man.

I had sex with them last night on the Sad Boys podcast. You should check out their Patreon for that. Jarvis Johnson, Jordan Attica, welcome. Thanks for having us. What's going on, gamers? Yeah. The world is ending. The world is ending.

Hurricane Hillary was supposed to be Category 5. Hit landfall around Baja, Mexico, California. I said send her back to the swamp. Am I right? That's what I'm fucking... Pokemon Go to the Coast, more like. Hell, dude. Oh, my God.

Let's go. Got some funny people on today. Hell, yeah. Let's do it. Can I have, like, 15 minutes to come up with one? Yeah. You have a good time. If you have a pencil and paper, you'll work something out.

Are we biting? And then we had an earthquake warning today yeah we had an earthquake earthquake yeah five point yeah i did 5.0 magnitude from ohai and that shit shook me a little bit and i fall off no but it shook me. And I was like, dad, immediately it was like, Kaya. You know? I was like, where? Get her under a table. Kaya, dad. And because, like, the emergency thing was insane.

It was like, you're going to die. Yeah. It was weird. They hit the extreme button. I quite literally looked outside. I was like, should I be? Right? Can we get some scaled alerts?

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe. Chill out. Nothing to worry about. can we get some scaled alerts yeah maybe chill out nothing that's like six cities away something bad's happening yeah okay or maybe like a countdown like it was like it's on the way and i'm like how much time do i have to prepare i like a countdown because it's adding suspense i got the earthquake after really like i got the i got the run duck hide whatever the fuck after i felt the earthquake oh that's interesting i wonder if there's anyone in the world who i got it before but i never felt the earthquake but i wonder if there's anyone in the world who got it and then they're like oh thank god this alert just saved my life because your data's weak the fuck is this i live in a rich neighborhood. What the hell is going on? I bought a $700 million mansion.

That's true. Is it getting more and more expensive every time you talk about it? Yeah. Well, because the property values are going up. Yeah, of course. Every Gucci shirt you buy

increases the price of the house. Yeah, 100%. It stays in. It's a part of the walls. It didn't fall over with the earthquake. It did not fall over. Sorry, I stare at random things.

It's like I said. You looked up like there's a crack. I know. I was just explaining to them. I've got, I'm a little, she's a special girl. I'm a special girl. You're feeling wonky.

You feel like you're dying. I ordered coffee. I am dying. I feel a lot better now than I did earlier today. I did your podcast and I was so grossed out by it. I don't know what the fuck happened. Again, the the patreon we really just went ham yeah episode but i can understand how that happened yeah it was it was all right

and then i was just uh i've been peeing out of my butt nice for like a girl for yeah i don't want to sit by him yeah i mean it's fine i haven't i I haven't done it in like a couple hours. That was really good. No, no, no. Let's not focus on it. Hey, you got one. Yeah. Good job, buddy. Yeah.

I've been, I've been peeing out of my butt like women do. Everybody knows. I'm not going to correct that. I don't care. Well, regardless. And, and at first I was like, oh, I must have, you know, I've changed my diet around a little bit. I've been like trying to drink more protein shakes and stuff.

So I was like, maybe it's the creatine and the, you know, all the shakes that I'm having. And then I was like, oh, no, like I can't even go to sleep. Like this is, you know, inside of me, I got to get it out. It was COVID maybe? Today, I thought it might be COVID because at first it was just, I'm pissing out of my butt and it's fine.

The last time that happened to me, norovirus was going around and it's like a bad stomach flu virus. Maybe. But I don't think it's contagious to other people. I think you have to, I don't know where you get it. You got to get it on a microphone and then give it to friends oh you get it on a podcast for sure yeah oh that's one of those it's from the it's it's from holding

onto a microphone right that wasn't clean that wasn't properly sanitized i literally the last time that happened to me i got not only norovirus but giardia and that's what i was gonna say like the last time i had heard that it was because my dog had it yeah that's like that can dry you out you need so i ate like the what is it called it's like a it's like the fart diet or something um it's not it's not fart it's like for oh it's like an acronym it's an acronym for like basically um crackers and uh applesauce and stuff like that right because it's like an acronym? It's an acronym for basically crackers and applesauce and stuff like that. Right. Because it's supposed to be stuff that hardens your stool.

This is good. It's only for crackers. It's got a logical conversation. It's just girl lunch. Yeah, girl lunch. Well, girls don't fart. Or poop. If they do, the little amber alert comes up.

Look out. It warns you to get under it duck run yeah but uh you have any idea what it could be he's no i have no fucking clue the last time i felt this way though it was covid but i mean i got tested yeah um you got the vaccine right so it can't be covered yeah well no i didn't actually i'm i've been i've been immunized oh right right yeah you're uh i've been immunized so no i didn, right. Yeah, you're... I've been immunized. No, I didn't get the vaccine, bro. Do I look like I have autism?

Like, what's going on? Do you want me to answer that question? No! Because I did take other vaccines, goddammit. You start talking about sonic law. Yeah. Yeah, I'm vaccinated. I had COVID last year.

I have been fine so far it's just uh i felt like my joints were in pain and then someone in the chat said something to me that made me realize like fuck they might be right because this kind of happened to me last time as well they were like if it's not covid you probably just feel joint achiness due to the pressure change like old people do. Oh my god. And I realized like fuck you but also I'm in this weird predicament where I'm like which one's better?

Yeah. Like is it better to have COVID and tank it or is it better to just like be old? To just be bad for about three months every year. Yeah. I'm gonna go with old. COVID's got too many variables. That's true.

Too late. Yeah. It spices up your life, though. It's like New Game Plus. Difficult. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, you get a different experience.

All of a sudden, you're like, why doesn't anything taste the same anymore? What's happening? You get like a bonus ending. I love those Amazon reviews where people would uh candles yeah with candles and be like these don't smell like anything yeah have you guys started noticing that yankee candles are just not hitting the same um speaking of conspiracy theories i want to start today's episode with my favorite current conspiracy theory i love conspiracy theories i think tiktok is rotted people's brains.

And I want to show you guys this one. March, can you pull up Balenciaga Mannequin? Have you seen this? That sounds like a sick album title. Sounds like an activation phrase for Assassin. It's on TikTok. Let's look up. Balenciaga Mannequin.

My man has no idea how to spell Balenciaga Mannequin. Dude, he broke. Broke. Oh, there it is. Let me see. I learned how to spell Balenciaga Mannequin. Dude. Broke. Broke. Oh, there it is. Let me see. I learned how to spell mannequin from the Katy Perry song. Yeah, yeah. Get that.

Any of them will do because they're just all going to be equally fucking unhinged. So. That first one, Balenciaga Hypo Realistic Mannequin. I would go on TikTok. Because the one I watched earlier on stream today. Actually, it's 649,000 likes. Not views. Likes.

Wow. And if you see, dude, my man wrote Balenciaga with a B-E. Broke. Broke. You're out of control. Yeah. Okay. That one. Romans 818.

I'm going to go. Romans 818 is the second one click it love it i'll be back in a second i feel like this is gonna hypnotize us or something freaking chair guy yeah this guy always leaves his chair right before i react in the year of 2020 he disappeared and he was never seen again still to this day in 2023 he vanished but come to find out he was actually missing And he's been missing since the year 2020 did you hear about the Balenciaga missing person no?

This model for Balenciaga his name is Christopher G And he posed on so many different ads for Balenciaga different shoots everything But you are missing until this lady came out with this video here it is the mannequin okay people tell me something this boy look like somebody dead and bomb this mannequin is him this mannequin looks a little bit too realistic I mean a lot of people was digging deep into their mannequins Balenciaga mannequins and then they noticed something very very strange if you look at regular mannequins compared to their mannequins It's completely

Now you cannot tell me that day mannequins don't look real people believe that this guy who vanished was waxed look look at the features scary like look at the hands bro you see the the end in it you know it almost seemed like you could see the vein of some crazy right that's crazy his hands his hands is as real as mine now like i said this is what he says he's about to get real dark when we look at valenciaga was basically about to get canceled valenciaga gets canceled because of all of the demonic stuff for the kids and the covers of all of these magazine articles do you think do you think valenciaga valenciaga gets canceled a lot. Because of all of the demonic stuff with the kids and the covers of all of these magazine articles. Do you think Balenciaga deserves to be canceled right now? I think they do.

Balenciaga could kiss my a**. Yeah, it cares what I'm a**. It was so bad for them that they put out a whole article to address this issue. Balenciaga has always been a brand known for ad campaigns, products, and runway shows that push boundaries and make audiences uncomfortable. Well, people believe that this guy was a sacrifice. They don't do that to mannequins so detailed like that. Where they do that at? I'm not allowed to touch mannequins.

It's not a good mannequin. It's a good mannequin. Right. Guys. Look how detailed this is. Guys, wait, pause it for a second. Tell me this doesn't look real. But also, this happened in a movie.

House of Wax with Paris Hilton. And everybody knows movies are real life. I see. We got to show this guy a game, like anything in Unreal Engine. That's my friend. No, I don't want that. I feel like he'll die. He'll have an aneurysm.

Playing Warzone? The main conspiracy guy was like, people started looking through their mannequins. They realized their mannequins aren't nearly as good as the Balenciaga mannequin. Oh, no. Yeah, probably because most mannequins are in malls and don't need to look good.

They said that man was suing them for copying his jacket. He was going to win, but then he went missing. He's going to win what? His mannequin came out. What was he going to win? The suing. He was going to win the case. So, let me tell you something. Every part of this is

fake. Watch the rest of it. I have guests. He's going to win the suing. Finish the video. And nothing on this mannequin looks like it's a plastic or it's wax. This guy was fully powdered. Like, the face was full of powder.

You could lose your nail and scratch it off. Wait. like the face was so powder you could lose your nail and scratch it off that just clip from the movie yeah it's from house of wax yeah hold tight man hold tight i'm gonna get you out of this he had ears a hole in his ears and his nose and I was like scrutinizing like this cannot be, how could they do this? You know, it was just too real. Waxed his body, put him out in the public. And that's why when that lady saw him and even when she was getting interviewed, she said, cause she saw him in person behind the window and close up and she was saying some things.

So I was looking through the grill and he looked like he was looking directly in my eyes. His eyes are moving but he can't talk or move any other part of his body. Dalton is trying to get the wax off him while Wade is trying to use his eyes to send a message to him that somebody is coming. But he doesn't get the message and the masked man comes

from behind him. I put my phone out and I stopped videoing. I was saying I'm not allowed to touch. He said, do not touch. I'm really honest and touch now, you know? Now, before you say something like, why would they suffice him? I do not know. But apparently, these companies are some of these people out there.

It works. Believe it or not. This is exactly how she lost fashion in the year of 2020. He like, well, just play this music and play this sound. And then just say whatever. But come to find out, then just say whatever. No. These companies will do and then just insert whatever.

The Target conspiracy. Yeah. They'll have products that are other places as well. Why would they do that? Yeah. No one has seen this shirt. I believe them. It's true. It's true as fuck. Have you seen the movie they made about it? I can't believe that.

Balenciaga's crazy for that one. What's the pitch? All Target did was make the kids gay, but Balenciaga, they sacrificed humans. They sacrificed Christopher G. Has anyone, like, I feel like this is easily debunked by just finding the model. Yeah. He went missing oh right he's turned into wax you sound insane you can't find him he's missing right right he's missing because

they said so in the tiktok so it must be true the crazy thing is is balenciaga probably paid that guy to make that tiktok for like you know how like all of these companies are like trying to do viral campaigns like trying to fit in with the youths now like yeah the grimace shake people yeah that wasn't planted because mcdonald's could never be that smart it was his birthday but they didn't want you know but they're like how do we get our version of that i can believe that this is only incentivizing me to buy that's cool yeah i hope they did do it i hope one in a thousand sweaters turns you into a wax figure. Like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It's like a Counter-Strike crate.

Oh, I wanted a knife. A society where the people who didn't turn into wax have to live on. And then they've all got horrific backstories about, like, my mom turned into wax and now I live on for her. It's too realistic. Yeah. If there's one thing to not include, by the way, in a clip like that is evidence

that you can make a mannequin that good. A movie where they did it 10 years ago. Also, models have famously good skin and like,

almost like no blemishes and kind of look like, you know, maybe a really good mannequin at times. Are you guys ready? So, part of the

conspiracies QD already elaborated. I watched it earlier and I was like this is real. This is the most real thing that's ever happened in the history of reality. Of course. I have to support him. Yes. We have a podcast together. Exactly.

Against your will. And then you know I looked at some of the naysayers. Yuck. There's not a lot of information on it for such like a viral story and such a niche some of the naysayers. Yuck. There's not a lot of information on it for such, like, a viral story and such a niche part of the internet that it's, like, only the crazies have gotten involved in it. So it's, like, they made up stories about how, like, he designed a jacket and, like, Balenciaga kidnapped him.

Does anyone have this guy's name at all? Yes. His name is Christopher G. I think it's like Chris something. He has an Instagram. I found it. Is he alive? Yes, very much so.

And also went live on Instagram and talked about how fucking stupid it was that people thought he was like actually missing. But it doesn't end there. No, he's missing. If you go back to that video. Did you hear the TikTok? Did his mouth move suspiciously up and down like a puppet? Yeah.

Actually, you couldn't see his mouth, which is a big part of it. Oh. He was like, scroll down a little bit. I want to see what you saw. I want to see what you saw. Hold on, hold on.

I don't believe you. Wait, no, not too much. Someone basically in here actually literally, oh yeah, here it is. Jizzy0 says, he actually got on social saying that he's okay and he's not missing anymore. But I still believe the entire theory behind Balenciaga. Yeah, I agree. And then, no, no, look at the response.

Crazy because they could have made him record that video before doing this flushed face. It all makes you wonder. It does. Yeah, I was just wondering if anybody you wonder. It does. Yeah. I was just wondering if anybody else was wondering. Yeah. Yeah. So.

My thoughts exactly, Elvis. Anyone? Tupac? Cover-ups? Famous people can't die, simply. No. Things can't be normal at all. But this guy's not even famous.

Yeah. Not a moderately successful model for Balenciaga. What was the claim that he had? He made it? He made it? He designed it? All that stuff is made up. Will you go to his Instagram, March?

Well, there's a whole trend on TikTok of people telling stories that aren't theirs. That are like stories from Reddit. Yeah. And they read them in first person. Dude, I want to start doing that, but my friend's stories. Yeah. And then they'll be like, that's my story. I'm like, no.

Well, this guy, I just want to lie about it. I just did a video on this and it's like a guy who, he was like, yeah, people keep asking me about my wife who's in a wheelchair

and I'm like, guys, I'm just a really good storyteller. That's not my story. You told the story in first person. Oh my God. Oh, there's our guy. There's not my story. You told the story in first person. Oh my god. Oh, there's our guy. There's our mans. Can we go ahead and pull up Resident Evil 4?

Christopher G? Wait, it is Chris Tyler, yes. Uh, underscore, two S's. You are... Yeah, he's deep. He's wearing Balenciaga oh shit he's made of wax dun dun dun

oh this will be good he'll probably get a lot of followers and by the way the funniest thing is like this happened in 2019 originally but it's being picked up now click on that one where he goes live for today plan for tomorrow clearly dead he's dead yeah he's dead cause he's fucking super dead also I love how a normal

cringy post now in this conspiracy is this a mannequin of me 164 weeks and I don't know if this is like his actual Instagram but he did go live on Instagram I mean I think it is his actual Instagram yeah he did go live on this i mean i think it is his actual instagram yeah he did go

live on this instagram i'm pretty sure i guess yeah and and he was just like yeah bro like people think that like people think that i'm dead and like they made me into a mannequin or some shit and you know i always like the joke like there's that common meme on Twitter where it's like, if you show this to a Victorian-era child, like, he would perish, right? Right. Like, and I like to joke that, you know, we have reached, like, medieval peasant status with, like, how fucking stupid people are because of TikTok where they think, like, ice giants are real.

Right? I've seen that. Those are pretty cool, though. Yeah. I mean, it makes sense now that there's been so much challenging of reality and so much, like, reactionary stuff on TikTok that now experts are being doubted. So if experts are being doubted, then all fact is doubted.

So we basically do live in the event. Well, the guy that saw the Giants also went missing, just saying. He did not. So that's another one. No, he's missing. He's metaphorically. There's always, like, this element of, like, oh, this guy went missing, just saying. He did not. So that's another one. No, he's missing. He's metaphorically. There's always like this element of like, oh, this guy went missing.

And then you find out like, no, someone just said that on TikTok. Yeah. And then people ran with it. I'm going to start the rumor that Hassan's missing. He's live all the time. I'm going to do it tomorrow. I'm going to do this big elaborate video

about how like he got taken out because of saying the word cracker. You have to play that song, though. Otherwise, it's not believable. I will, and I'll be really convincing. I just watched the Amber Heard documentary, so I can channel it. Maybe he scratched his hand on the face to reveal some wax. Yeah.

Not real. He died. What the fuck was that about, by the way? They were like, do we really think this is wax? Look, you can peel wax off them. Yeah, I know. That's wax. That's what wax is.

Did you see that Asmongold was in the Amber Heard documentary? I saw there was a piece of it. Was it like pro-Amber Heard or anti-Amber Heard? It was very good. It told the whole story. You leave it thinking, man, they both got some problems. Damn, that was my position. And that position is the reason why I'm still hunted by Amber Heard stans.

Did you guys know? And it's funny because, like, I do agree with a lot of the Amber Heard stans, even on, like, certain aspects of the Johnny Depp saga, where, like, one of my favorite things to do is, like, I'll look at, like, Johnny Depp Twitter accounts that still exist. No, definitely not. Cool clips of clips of him like riding a pirate ship yeah no no cams they'll post photos of him and they'll be like he looks so happy and it's just the most hurt man you've ever seen have you ever seen like leathery he looks like he's been a wax yeah like he looks like he got the balenciaga treatment there's so many all There's already so many conspiracies about cloned people.

You know, like Paul McCartney is a clone. Eminem is a clone. That one's real though. Avril Lavigne. Avril Lavigne, yeah. That's also real. Oh, yeah. Sorry.

Oh, sorry. Right theories. When I said conspiracies, I meant confirmed conspiracies. Yeah, confirmed that we've all been at the wool pulled over our eyes. I scratched their face to reveal that they weren't worth it. That he wasn't the real Sam Shea. The Britney Spears one is all because I, the Britney Spears one I could almost buy

because when they show comparisons, her face does look really different compared to most people's faces as they age, but also trauma can do that. But there was this DJ fromas or something that was like given like hush money or something because i guess he went on the dj line and he was like last night wait not the dj line i don't know that's for honesty what the djs do and he's like he was like last night i saw britney spears and justin timber like get in a car

accident and they both died. Yeah. And so I could believe it more if it didn't include Justin because I'm like, that's the same Justin. Yeah, that is the same Justin. Why would some fucking random ass DJ just like happen to be there as Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake are dying in a car crash? He saw it. He takes off his headphones.

Also? Oh, no. Yeah. Also, well, I mean, he did say it on the DJ line. he saw it and he took it to the dj line i have to report this there's like a there's like a red telephone like like the one between fucking american presidents and like ussr so that's actually how i found out about the earthquake today. It was through the DJ line. Yeah. The DJ line is fun. DJs never lie. They're so good at natural disasters and also celebrity death sightings.

You get the BPM to match your heart rate so you know they're telling the truth. Yeah. The thing is, what's really fascinating to me about that conspiracy is that, like, Justin Timberlake's clone looks identical to Justin. Wait, Justin doesn't have a clone. But he died, too. I don't think he did. I think it was a mistake I think the DJ

was just right about Brittany it was just a mannequin of Justin Timberlake and he just took it for the real thing if you guys don't know I personally saved Brittany from her conservatorship this is not even a joke which by the way this podcast's official stance is that

she still does need medical help I feel bad I saved her this podcast's official stance is that she still does need medical help. Yeah, she does. I feel bad I saved her. Yeah, this podcast's official stance was free Britney, and now that she's free, maybe we should shackle her a little bit. But not in a conservatorship kind of stance. No, no conservatorship. I plead the fifth on any opinions about these things.

Oh. I was actually just thinking about it, and I believe what the audience does. Yeah, I believe what everyone, like every individual opinion, I agree. Dude, I fucking love K-pop. Pussies. These guys are YouTubers, okay?

Pussies. They, YouTubers are a different breed. They do not engage in problematic behavior unless they're like only engaging in problematic behavior.

There's no like, oh, I did some stuff that was controversial. Hey, it's scary out there. Look, I love speaking truth to power, you know what i mean i think britney again you can use dub in the yeah it's like good or bad yeah oh yeah yeah well okay the britney spears divorce thing is really interesting to me uh-huh like the the sam asgari guy uh do you see he posted um like hiding from the stands he's like help me pick my disguise

oh it was weird it was weird help me pick my disguise yeah he put it was like him with like terrible wigs and mustache like a dress-up ds game yeah and then he's having fun with it he's having fun with it it's kind of odd i don't know played a game of sims and yeah i i just don't get it like Cause she definitely is not doing alright No I mean I wonder if there's a prenup There is And he doesn't get anything

And so he's taking her to court Because his attorney is arguing That the prenup is not enforceable Which is probably not gonna work And so he's demanding Y'all make sure to get one of those prenups what yeah fellas are on top they're they're fellas can be gold diggers too it's 2023 you know what i mean yeah i mean it's clear that i it's so weird they were together for like six years then they get married and then a year after the marriage

uh the marriage they were like in a relationship i guess during the conservative show right and then the weird wedding stuff did you see the wedding stuff no what is it oh march march you might be able to find it there's wedding stuff with like paris hilton went which like paris hilton and britney were like never friends selena gomez went madonna went and there's like a picture of it so britney spears google britney spears wedding green screen and there's people that like point out like she like glitches out and she's invisible by the way i love i love conspiracy theories cutie is a i don't mean to so she has so many incredible they're gonna be down in those tiktoks looks like. She's a treasure trove of conspiracies.

How this possibly got back on topic to conspiracy theories is your match for it. Why do I keep catching stuff? Okay, Selena, I love you. Team Selena. From the DJ line. The veil is left yet, okay? No, Sam has a very, very amazing green screen room. And, like, all of her guests are wearing sunglasses for some reason?

Where he can do all kinds of stuff. I mean, go to his Instagram. He shows it all the time. He's an actor. He's a writer. He's a director. He's all into technology. I don't know what this lady's saying.

He's all into technology. What's going on? I don't know. She's being annoying. I feel like into technology. What's going on? I don't know. She's being annoying. I feel like that. Is this like AI generated? Yeah. So they're talking about how like Britney disappears behind things.

And then whatever tattoo is on Madonna's arm. Wait, what? Disappears behind things? Because like she's pointing out like Madonna's. But the tracking of the sleeve when she lifts her arm up. You see the tracking of her sleeve. Boom. First of all, it can't be a green screen.

Then you see whatever black tattoo is on her arm. It literally can't be a green screen. Wrap around right there. She has green on her. And to what end? It would have to be manually tracked. A purple screen. It's just a very talented

photoscoper. It's like a college project. Or it's all those VFX These are just very strange occurrences. Or it's all those VFX artists who just voted to you. It's Cardo. Yeah, Cardo did the anime version of this. I think it's more likely that all these celebrities attended her wedding because they're cloud sharks. Yeah, for sure.

And Brittany was kind of popping. I was going to say, it feels very, like, cloud sharky. Especially if they weren't super close to the player. They're wearing sunglasses because they have, like, doll's eyes, like a deer. They have scary coke eyes. Yeah. I mean, it's Paris Hilton and Madonna are the ones that are wearing sunglasses.

I feel like they would do that. That's normal. What is this, like, I feel there's, like, two subgenres of conspiracy theory, right? There's the one that's just compelling and cool and gets clicks. And then there's one that's a cope. It's like, I don't like the way this thing is. So actually that's not real. Oh, yeah.

Like no one in the world likes Lea Michele. Sorry, Lea Michele. Oh, right. So they've all decided she can't read. That one is good. That one is so messy. That one I like to believe. I like that one.

I like to believe that because it's fun. Yeah, me too. There's a part of me that feels bad for Lea Michele. I like that one. I like to believe that because it's fun. Yeah, me too. There's a part of me that feels bad for Liam Hesham. I just feel bad for anybody who's on Glee. I feel bad for everybody always. I didn't know shit about Glee. Empathy. I didn't know shit about Glee, and then I found out way too much.

Yeah. About what has happened on the show. I watched it back in the day. It was like a big deal, and it was just. It was a big deal. Yeah, it was like it aired after the Super Bowl. And when the girls kissed, people freaked out. My favorite is the...

What was it? The Down Syndrome school shooter. Oh, that wasn't... I don't miss... I might have missed that episode. What are you... I'm not even kidding. That was like a...

No, I think... I think... Like, yeah. Like someone brings a gun to school because of bullying or something. Yeah. And I think he's like... Even Glee. brings a gun to school because of bullying or something. Yeah, and I think he's, like... Even Glee. Yeah, Glee had a lot of weird stuff.

Is it later on? Can you... I think Glee wanted to be Degrassi, but with musicals. Yeah. He was looking for Drake. Yeah. Ryan, like, I feel like Ryan Murphy would do some shit. Yeah, it's already there.

Down syndrome, shooter. Yeah, because... Okay, you have to watch this. This actress. It's one minute and 43 seconds. You have to watch this. It's one minute and 43 seconds. You have to watch this. Yeah, she brought a gun. Oh, I watched this actually.

Becky was kind of the best though. I like that you guys all just wiped his memory from your brain. This guy could be Justin's clone. Why did you do it? No, sorry. Sorry, Matthew Morrison. You'll never be him. I explained them to Principal Figgins.

I heard. But I don't accept that. Bringing a gun to school, that's not you. I was scared, Coach, about graduating, being out in the world with no one to protect me. Honey, I told you, you will always have a place here. No, I wanted to be prepared and protect myself. I need help yeah that's i don't know a wild shot and i stand by my actions

thank you give me the gun where did you get that it's my dad's i wanted to be ready oh i know sweetheart don't worry about it i completely understand just just give me the gun so that's it this is how it ends oh she got the d so i can talk to figgins let me help you oh no no trigger discipline i'm sorry coach i'm sorry, coach. I'm sorry. I forgot it went off. She takes the fall. That's why she's been fired. She did a desk pop. It's okay. I'll take care of it.

I really like Jane Lynch, but I think she did something weird. I remember that too vaguely. She fired a gun in her office. Yeah, at school. So one of my favorite things is like old TV shows. What the fuck is going on, man? Is it just a slide? Okay.

There it is. There it is. That's what it is right there. Oh, hello. Don't let her out, please. So one of my favorite genres of things that I'm fascinated by, I guess, is like early 2000s tv shows that try to tackle complex issues big fan usually revolving around like like disability activism oh yeah like i think

that's like one of those moments where it's like why did you why was the the down syndrome girl we were i feel like as a society we had to go through that to like get to where we are today with like, but, but like we, we were really like falling on our faces. Like, you know, like moment of truth.

Do you remember that game? Yeah. Yeah. I watched it on stream where we're like, yeah. Mark Wahlberg, friend of the us, friend of the other,

the other one, the other one, not, not as hateful. Yeah. Yeah. Not the karate one. Yeah. the other one not not as hateful yeah yeah not the karate one yeah he doesn't have any karate hate crimes but yeah no there are so many shows like that where they they try to do something good but at the same time every question for a woman is like about like like uh slut shaming oh yeah or it's about like body stuff or eating stuff yeah great show

yeah insane show you guys ever dabble in 13 Reasons Why no 13 Reasons Why as the show goes along I couldn't help but watch it because it becomes very self conscious about the fact that it has nothing to say it never had any insights about suicide but then as the show goes along

they have to keep it going because the show is doing well it surpasses the book, the book is only like the first season wait so like so i i don't know anything about this so what happens like the person commits suicide uh yeah the one of the kind of main characters yeah she she crushes it minecrafts herself uh okay so what are you supposed to do after that it shows over it's yeah it's a lot of people laughing it's mostly just a show partying you you know? Yeah. But she dies. And then she left 13 tapes.

It was you 13 people. Oh, she died in the beginning. Oh yeah. And the problem was, is it felt like very revengey. Like people were like, Oh, revenge,

suicide, romanticizing, revenge, suicide. Like vindicated. She's the winner. Like it's, it's every frame.

Also, didn't it literally have like a noticeable uptick in teenage suicides after that show or something? But they have to i think it's every episode of the second season maybe opens with the cast along with selena gomez a co-producer of the show sitting there and literally with the least amount of spirit going like you know suicide's gay or whatever like every episode bro you just you knock the wind out of the sails in that show at that point.

I'm like, I'm trying to watch something where suicide is sick, dog. What the fuck? The final season, deranged. Like every episode is, this one has a school shooting.

This one, the character gets deported. It is. The grape, someone got graped around with. Oh my goodness. Every season, season one is there.

Yeah. That's like the catalyst. I remember there was something where a scene was so poorly received that they had to edit it out of the show, like on Netflix. I think it was a, you know, suicide scene.

There is a, I guess trigger warning, but you have to start that at the beginning of the show. We need to all sit down and talk about suicide before we go. There is a fucking tutorial in that show. Like the scene, at least when I saw it, it's too,

it's so specific. And it, that's crazy. They do the scene, at least when I saw it, it's so specific. That's crazy. They do the whole, like, you got to go along the river, not across, like that type of shit. It's on screen. Don't worry, though. It was the same year that Logic came out with his song. Oh. Dude, it counterbalanced it out.

Yeah. Actually, maybe that's the reason why people. Logic agreed to come on our podcast. And he killed himself. Oh, no. That's so flat. We couldn't relate. Wait, were you too much?

Wait, he was like, oh, sad boys? Like, I love that. I'm sad. I'm a sad boy. Our pitch to him was, hey, we're biracial, too. And he was like, I'm in. We can say the word all of us. No, but then he went on tour, and his manager ghosted us.

But I think it would be really funny to have him on. It was my fault. I had to leave town the day. Oh, yeah. They pitched us a day and then Jordan was going to be out of town. Damn it. You got to make that happen. I think we'll make it happen.

That's Bobby by Rachel. Our thoughts exactly. Yeah. So. Ordering this toast took us a minute. I think that song probably also contributed to the suicide rate increasing. People heard it and they were like, dude, nah, enough. It feels like nobody can make any kind of media about suicide without fetishism.

Because it's just, what else do you say? You just say it's bad. Because it's so sick. It's cool. It's the coolest. It's actually very good. None of you watched Degrassi? No.

No. I only saw ads for it. Because it was on The Inn or Noggin, and I didn't have that. Dude, it was so sick. It was like a Nickelodeon sister channel. It's the show where Toby, the guy Toby comes, and he does a school shooting, and he shoots Drake. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's why Drake was in a fucking wheelchair?

It's like a super early episode. Why does he shoot Drake? Because Drake was in the hallway, and he was like, no, no, no. And then he shoots him in the leg. And he was an all-star basketball player, so it was really sad. Because now he can't play basketball in a wheelchair. Jimmy, he shot him in the leg. Jimmy, yeah.

He shot him in the kneecap or something. And then I believe he actually, was it Toby? No, Toby died. Toby died in that. Oh, it was actually tragic. Spoiler alert, cuties. Yeah, because Liberty was pregnant with Toby's baby. I have no idea what any of this is.

But also, really quick, Google, her name was Manny. This is just important because I know we have a very large gay audience. Manny, a thong, Manny thong episode clip. Something's wrong with my brain right now. Just the series of words. Sorry, we're awake, right? This was an awakening. My look's still...

Yeah, so she's gonna walk away in the hallway. There it was. It was right in the middle. It's like a save by the bell. Right there. She buys a thong. It's like a big deal. I think they shouldn't sell this at the mall. And they're like, this this is crazy then Manny wears it to school because she's being Yeah She wears that to school

You're a teenager watching this and you're like I could be I could Could I could be I could be. I could be. You could do it. You mean? I could be. I could shoot Drake. For Manny Santos, yes. Wait, so that's what happened? It was a sexual awakening. Toby saw the thong and was like, I'm going to bring it in. No, Toby actually wasn't the shooter. I lied.

Toby died by the shooter. Oh, the exact opposite. We were way off. But I remembered some of it. Toby got killed by the shooter. The shooter's name was something. Ricky? Rich?

We don't need to. I think the shooter might have been right next to him in that picture. His name was Shooter? Because it was like his best friend accidentally killed him or something. We really don't need to dive into Degrassi Deepwater. I don't know why we shouldn't. I mean, Degrassi was a weird show because it was trying to do all the stuff that we're talking about.

But way before. Way earlier, yeah. Way before Glee did it. Way before. I want to say, like, well, it aired for a really long time in Canada. I think it could still be going. Yeah, I think you're right.

It's called Generations. Drake is still in it. Like, in the canon somewhere. Yeah, he's, like, still. Because it's a high school show, so it slowly... Yeah, it, like, rotates out. Yeah, it rotates past. This kid still in it. Like in the canon somewhere. Yeah. He's like still. Because it's a high school show, so it's slowly. Yeah. It like rotates out. Yeah.

It rotates the cast. This kid is in it now. And so everyone remembers the cast that they watched. But still, like 2001 to 2015 is wild. We bring it back. They have TikTok now and body dysmorphia. Wait. It started.

Wait. It started right after, like a month after 9-11 well was canada you know you know what's crazy uh 24 do you remember that show yeah oh yeah 24 aired a month after 9-11 yeah which the timing is insane for the most like pro uh torture like i have i have i mean i'm sure you know this already but 24 was also uh stated as a reason for why uh enhanced interrogation is actually perfectly acceptable antonin scalia rest in piss uh a supreme court justice at the time, literally cited 24 in his opinion for why enhanced interrogation is perfectly valid. 24 is the catalyst for like a very specific era of spy and agent stuff

where it's nominally kind of lived up. Like the Bourne conspiracy or identity on that is the same thing where it's silently relatively progressive the hey man the president's black okay yeah now the villains they're a different kind of brown don't worry like they were obviously the scary ones you know the like tsa ones yeah it's all good but the first season of 24 i was susceptible to it was in college i'm like this is really cool oh i was in high school i i watched it and then i i also listened to a podcast at the time it uh made fun of it but it was like but they were like watching it like laughing along because

it was so stupid like the show is just like so over the top i never watched 24 but my favorite of that genre is uh is uh is homelander or not not homeland Homeland. Homeland. With the guy from Billions. Yeah. The guy from Billions is like a terrorist is a, is like a Manchurian candidate style. Like, you know, a person who was like been converted to the bad guy side. And like the first season you're watching and you're like,

Oh, they're just straight up saying he's a terrorist because he's like converted to Islam. Oh. And every time he goes into a fugue state, it just plays like, oh, they're just straight up saying he's a terrorist because he's, like, converted to Islam. Oh. And every time he goes into a fugue state, it just plays, like, ah. Yeah. And, like, watching that,

like, we were giving it a rewatch recently for a friend's podcast. I was like, goddamn. Like, the only thing that they have him on, like, the suspicion is literally that he's Muslim. Like, secretly. And she's right. I mean, yeah. And at the end of the day, she is right. He is Muslim. that they have him on like the suspicion is literally that he's muslim and like secretly she's right i mean yeah and at the end of the day she is right he is muslim exactly and also a terrorist she did everything right yeah i just uh you know there was a lot of that happening on

tv post 9-11 yeah it's it's so weird to almost feel like i snapped out of a trance where i was like super into that stuff just because it was what was on TV. You're like bullying the kid named Ahmed in your fucking grade. Thankfully, there was no Muslims. I was in class with all the like UF faculties kids. So there was a, it was a diverse group, thankfully. I thought you were gonna say,

thankfully there was no Muslims in my class. No, there were. And that was like important. I like, for my own development as a high schooler. I actually watched a documentary on the Boston Bomber, and it was so sad because one of his best... Because he's hot. No. Are you thinking of the right bomber? No, I know what you're saying. He's beautiful.

He's not hot. Boston Bomber, he's the sexiest. He is definitely, as far as like. He's an attractive guy. It's like young Como. The brother? Which brother? The older one?

No, the young one. No, the young one. Yeah. That photo is like, that goes hard. That's like. Yeah, but the young one. The young one. Anyway, you're a problem.

You're an issue. Go to TikTok, you. Go to TikTok, you. Like, what's a spell? Ha, ha, ha, TikTok. Go to TikTok. No, the Boston bomber, like, his friend, when people pointed out that it was him, his friend was like, no way. And the friend in this documentary had this long thing about, like, how there was such bad Islamophobia because of 9-11, especially in Boston and all that stuff. 9-11. Oh, yeah and all that stuff 9-11

oh yeah sorry i thought i said i'm dyslexic i thought i said 2011 and i was like that's not when it happened 9-11 happened in 2001 and then yeah why are you looking at me and so like he was saying like oh it finally been enough time that the islamophobia was finally getting better and blah, blah, blah. And like, you know, and all the friends and that friend group had really dealt with it. And then come to find out it does end up being an Islamic man that like just recently went back to Muslim and got radicalized. Muslim? Islam.

The country. Islam and got radicalized Muslim, like, and then came back and did the bombing. And it was just so sad for them because he was like, that was our friend. No, I know what you mean. I remember following the story because I was in college. Yeah, I was like the same age, I think, at the time. That long ago?

Yeah, it was like 2011. So long that you're like so old? Yeah. That sounded mean. Yeah, was it that long ago? It felt more recent than that. No, but yeah, it was like 2011. So long that you're like so old. Yeah. That sounded mean. Yeah. Was it that long ago? I was, yeah. It felt more recent than that. No, but yeah, it was a lot.

I remember being in my plastic mattress in my college dorm and reading on Reddit, which is something you should never do, but it was like one of my first, first like experiences with that. And I think it was one of the situations where, I mean, I could be wrong now because that stuff is super out of date, but where the brother also, like a younger, the younger brother was following along with the older brother. Yeah, it's, that's kind of how, that's kind of how when it went to court, that's the direction they tried to go with it. But even, I mean, the brother had some, the younger brother had some damning things as well. The craziest thing was like, they had all these bombs.

And at one point, there's like this standoff the police first the two brothers and they're they're in this road and the police are hiding behind cars because the brothers are legitimately throwing pipe bombs at them and exploding and so one of the cops jumps out goes around behind the houses and is now can see the brothers behind their car that have been throwing pipe bombs and so he just starts shooting the older brother just like charges towards him and is like that guy in lord of the rings that just keeps taking oh yeah with boromir yeah boromir that's who it is he's the ugly one no one cares relax um anyway keeps taking the arrows keeps taking the arrows keeps taking the arrows he's going down and then like he's but this guy's just shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot and then apparently

the cop runs out of bullets and he's like fuck and then the brother just starts charging towards the barricade of police officers yeah just charging and so they just start shooting him and then two come from the side tackle him down younger brother the whole time everyone forgets about him they're like we're focused on right you know freaking the juggernaut over here and then and then so the younger brother gets in the car that they were hiding behind starts driving towards the barricade full speed and like they're on the ground handcuffing the brother and the younger brother drives over because the two police jump off because they see this car coming towards him he drives over his older brother oh yeah and drags him like six feet

and that's this and like they described it as they ripped him from shoulder down to hip and that's ended up like wheels on either side he yeah he like hit him and like essentially that is like the death blow was the younger brother. Yeah. Who then ran away and was missing for like two days before you find him in a boat. Yeah. Yeah. When I was looking at it on Reddit, I remember the younger brother was still missing.

And that was like, that was so crazy because everybody was like, where is he? You know, it's kind of like when 9-11 happened, I didn't understand how war. I was like eight or something. And I was just, every time I heard a plane overhead, I got scared. In Gainesville, dog? I didn't know anything. To be fair, though, that fear that you had was in the heart of so many Americans that that is like half of the reason why police

budgets are the way they are in like these bumfuck little shitty ass towns where they have like armored personnel carriers for no fucking reason but then i like went to the fifth grade you know and then like i grew out of it yeah yeah the fourth harry potter book came out and i was like oh okay yeah i was like oh my god he's like me yeah the goblet fun fact about uh the anthrax uh male bombings that were happening when well it's during 9-11 oh i thought they were happening now i was like oh my god no imagine they still are now and then it's pretty easy to do yeah the anthrax was actually connected to my assistant open my p.o box good luck sorry the strain of anthrax anthrax that was actually connected to the the um the mailings uh is very traceable uh it was connected

to a facility utilized by uh the uh i think it was the the fbi if i'm not saying it could be the FBI or the CIA. And suspiciously that evidence is never seen the light of day. I mean, because they were burned. If it's the FBI, it's very possible they did it by accident. It was deliberate. It was targeted to make everyone feel like nine 11 can happen everywhere. Makes sense. I also around the same time. Remember whenever my mom would ask me to go open the mailbox,

I would be scared. And I would like shake the mail and stuff. That's so weird. I was like a child. You were such a fucking neurotic child. I was a neurotic child. How old are you in that? Like eight or nine.

All right, okay. I guess that's the, yeah, that's like the uncanny valley period where you are as susceptible and you have access to information, but your brain is still motion susceptible. Adults who are explaining things to me do not have, they're not good communicators about this stuff. You know what I mean? They're just like, something crazy just happened. The keywords stick in your brain.

Yeah, I'm just like, what are you, I don't understand. I didn't know the difference between Iraq, Afghanistan, any of these. Don't worry, neither did the Georgia people. Yeah. So. I still get, I'm, I'm, my, one of my biggest fears is accidentally saying something wrong where the FBI is like, well, got to take her out. Like I assure you, FBI, I feel strongly about nothing besides Taylor Swift being.

I love you so much. Why? You're the best. The FBI could accidentally take me out. That is such a psychotic fear to have what hey pretend you're on your side yeah no no i i am on your side i i'm afraid of cops this guy bought a house is so socialist i just like if i'm not afraid of the fbi coming in to kill me like you're so fine. Okay. Conspiracy theory.

FBI killed Marilyn Monroe. Definitely. Okay. For the record. I believe this actually because she was fucking both of the Kennedy brothers. She's crazy for that. You go. That was crazy.

It sucks. They made a wax or whatever. Yeah. They did turn her black. FBI Balenciaga. But then, the reason that JFK was like, the big government people were like, stop talking to Marilyn because she was also hanging out with some Cubans.

And they were like, oh no, she's going to be this, that, or the other. And he was like, I will not stop hanging out with her. And so they fucking killed her. Damn, pussy so good. Yeah, that was a really good impression. Kennedy? Yeah, kind of Southern. I will not stop hanging out with her. I did not have sex with that woman.

That kind of sounds like, yeah, Clinton. That was some good ass pussy me and my brother both enjoyed. Sounds like a lawyer. I ain't no big city lawyer now listen here i do declare i uh notice his lover died and then so did he wow like everyone that's ever jfk committed suicide yeah what if i accidentally what if i accidentally flirt with the wrong president and then all of a sudden i'm freaking dead how many presidents are you flirting with any that i'll see what about the right

i don't know i can be in a coffee shop i'm charming yeah the wrong one no but i i do like if they're like are you armed and then i'll be like i I'm not armed, but I forget a word. And I'm like, I am armed. And then they're like, light them up. If I'm shy and nervous. Right. I don't maybe. Are you armed?

I don't know. Maybe. You're just a bad test taker. I don't know what the, what are you freaks? What happy pills you're taking? You know, I'm on the remote screen,

have been for a long time. I don't know what that is. It's a stabilizer for bipolar stuff. Oh, I take Klonopin. Yeah! Not me, dude. Skill issue. I had to go to Benzo's.

Oh, hell yeah. You got any? No, we'll talk afterwards. I'll be fine. But Lamotrine has this weird effect where, like, it's a good stabilizer, but it also adds this tiny degree of clarity like um uh cleaning the house for example you don't necessarily do it uh obsessively but you're

able to structure things much more easily at least than i could which is part part treatment part the man itself but you take it too late or you forget to take it entirely it starts affecting your brain in ways that like it's's genuinely difficult to describe. My partner described the other day perfectly as the one time she forgot to take it and started driving. She forgot how to drive. Like your hands, you kind of know what you're doing and like holding her the side. If I got swatted and they turned up and it was the morning and I haven't

taken my Lamotra drink. I genuinely would be like, shit, should I have a gun? I can. Yeah. Okay. Whatever.

It's like, you just think it's Nazi zombies. All of a sudden you're like, yeah, let's go baby. Yeah. That's, that's terrifying.

Yeah. That's scary. I'm sorry about that. Oh, it's sick. I'm fine. If I don't take my Klonopin, I just forget that I exist as a human.

You can't shoot me. I just start. I'm like, this is a dream anyway, bitch. What's another conspiracy theory? What's a conspiracy theory you're logged into? You're 100 thumbs up. I mean, it's hard to even declare this a conspiracy theory. I guess the anthrax thing would technically be considered a conspiracy theory, but it's not considered a conspiracy theory but it's not

really a conspiracy theory it's one of those things where like they'll probably inevitably declassify it you know 25 years 30 years down the line and you're like oops we did that um but uh i guess like jeffrey epstein did not kill himself that's one i don't believe is a conspiracy theory either he was depressed oh yeah Yeah. Dude, he was shy. He was an empath. He had no friends in there. Yeah. Yeah, I just, I don't believe that.

Oh, I mean, yeah. Giselle Maxwell. She's still alive. Yeah, because Jeffrey Epstein is the one that had all the blackmail. Wait till she collaborates with Balenciaga. This is why you shouldn't collect. What if I accidentally collect blackmail? Hassan?

You're worried that you're, like, going to be working alongside Mossad and the CIA in, like, an operation where you have your sex trafficking minors that end up potentially allegedly having sex with war leaders. Who's my Klonopin? And I'm at a coffee shop they're like, will you hold this briefcase? I'm like, of course

sir. Yeah, my pleasure. Kitty, would you like some Compromat? Yeah. I mean, you'll be fine. I believe in you. They're going to be so embarrassed. How did I get myself into this situation? No, I'd be so mad. I'd be mad as fuck. I'd be like, why didn believe myself into this situation no i'd be so mad i'd be mad

as fuck i'd be like why didn't you show me the blackmail immediately what the fuck i would try to get it off of me and put on him yeah i would literally i deserve to live secrets i want to know all the secrets like i do you ever think about dying where like i kind of like when i die i kind of want uh like a check like a checkpoint screen where in a video game. Like a grade. Yeah, where you get all of the itemized points from all the achievements you got in your life, and then they tell me all the secrets I want to know. Or like Intel found zero out of four. I'm pretty sure it just goes dark, my dude.

Probably. But I can dream. That's called MDMA. I've got a whole plan. No, no, no. By the way, I don't think this is going to happen. This is like what I want. Like I wish I got like a congrats no no no I don't think this is gonna happen this is like what I want like I wish

I got like a like congrats it's gonna happen you could join Scientology they could make that happen for you what if shifting's real and we just do that

oh yeah like the TikTokers they're like I am Ariana Grande or whatever I'm a Hogwarts yeah I just don't think that like if something is real it's not happening on TikTok

like if any other social media platform I'd be like yeah maybe I'm like if not happening on tiktok like any other social media platform i'll be like yeah maybe i'm like if it's on tiktok i'm like fuck no no i'm not editing something on my phone if i could go like fight a hippogriff or whatever the fuck they're doing at hogwarts yeah it's just not happening forever i don't want to be here you know what's crazy i was in like third grade or some shit and i had a dream about attending like sleep time dream not like i have a dream no i got that oh no he wasn't no no no go ahead wait and you want to make it clear that you do not have that that'd be a cool thing too. He also got killed by the FBI. Yeah. Oh,

there's a conspiracy theory there. Yeah, but that's like, that's, you know. I'm sleepy time dream. I go to Hogwarts and me and Malfoy

have this thing where like, you know, he's kind of into me. I'm kind of into him. It's a whole thing. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Fast forward,

like sixth grade. How old is third grade? I don't even. I'm like eight. That's too young. My parents are going through a divorce. I'm like, you know, coping. I'm in Hogwarts at night.

That's all of us were in Hogwarts at night. Fantasizing about Draco Malfoy puts your current boyfriend in a much different consideration. He's not mean enough. Oh, you want him to be? I need him to be meaner to me. If I could have one request from Ludwig, please be meaner

to me. He's like Draco M could have one request from Ludwig, please be meaner to me. He's like a dragon mouth when he's being all soy. He's like, you have to kill him. I do think, you know, credit to J.K. Rowling about all of her beliefs.

No, just kidding. Mudblood is a really good slur. Oh, it sounds so real. It sounds like I would not want someone to call me that. She had that dog in her. Yeah, she knew what she was doing.

She was very good at that. She was fully in her bag. So much of the books are kind of mid and then like you get to slurs and she's great. Yeah, what the fuck? Yeah, sure. She was very good at that. She was fully in her bag. The books are kind of mid and then like you get to slurs and she's, yeah, what the fuck?

This is wild. She nailed the slurs real good and then, and then like Asian characters, Cho Chang. Not great at that. She rules.

That was my crush when I was growing up. Was Cho Chang? Yeah. Yeah, JK Rowling. I love MILFs. I'm in sixth grade and someone was asking me who my third grade teacher was.

And I was so, that dream was so convincing that I was like, I didn't go here in third grade. I went to Hogwarts. And then they looked at me like a crazy person. And they were like, you need to get on clone. No, but then I sat there for a second. I was like, I'm joking. And then I was like, oh my God, that was just a really convincing dream because then i realized i was like oh yeah my my teacher was miss smith and

i did you would be a tiktok girly if you were like 14 right now you would be a tiktok girl i know i would i'd be lost oh you'd be so crazy you'd be like making the most unhinged taylor swift conspiracy theories you'd be leading the charge on the swifties to your credit i had a dream when i was that age that there was a $20 bill under my bed, and when I woke up, I checked under my bed to see if it was there. I didn't remember it until the sixth grade and then go check under my bed.

So that was the extra leaf thing. Also, one's a little bit more believable than the other. One's a fictional universe that you imagine you went to school in. Also, the fictional universe where I had money as a child. It was pretty fictional at the time. I believe it was in sixth grade that MLK went to go do that speech. Yeah. Had the dream three years ago.

Yeah. I'm a little bit boys. Not now. Yeah. My funny story. My sister who looks like me, by the way, she has Brown hair though.

Shocking. She's like four inches shorter than me. Looks like me. I've never met your sister. You've never met my sister. Will I ever meet your sister? Maybe. Okay, good.

You're not immediately. She's a mom of five. That's awesome. Because she's Mormon still. She's very, very sweet. But she auditioned for the role of Cho Chang. What? I love that.

She filmed an audition. I wish I could find the audition tape for the life of me. No one else? Just Cho Chang? No, because she was like a big theater kid. She was a big theater kid. A weeb. She was actually really good.

She'd get all the main kid roles, like Annie and shit. And she would perform. She'd get all the main kid roles, like Annie and shit. And she would perform. We grew up in Washington, but she performed in the Olympics in freaking Salt Lake City. She was pretty talented. She wasn't part of the Hollywood stuff.

She wasn't transracial. Not talented enough to be Asian. So then the Harry Potter movies comes out and she loves them and she like relates with Hermione because she's like nerdy and she's got frizzy brown hair. Right.

And so my dad was like audition and she was like, for what role? And so they went to the casting website and they were currently auditioning for Cho Chang. And so. And nothing else?

No other female roles? I guess not. I don't know. Well, she needed the lead. It would be a lot funnier if Hermione was available and she was like, no, Cho Chang.

Who? That's my shit right there she submitted a a reel and she submitted headshots for cho chang and i thought it was hilarious even when i was a kid i was like that's crazy you're trying to get that's wild these access to these i don't i have no clue where they are if i did i don't i would love to make fun of your sister. I'm pretty sure she did a British accent too. I'm glad she did a British accent. Broken Asian. Any makeup done at home? No, no, no.

Taped her eyes. She gets it way wrong. It's like a kimono. I don't think she's I don't think she did any theater after that either so i think i think that broke her it's kind of fucked up it's kind of fucked up because like oh we're making fun of her but scarlett johansson's a girl boss you know what i mean it's messed up oh my god did you guys know scarlett johansson was 17 years old and lost in translation

what how fucking nuts is that? Oh. Yeah. There's one where Keira Knightley is like 16. Oh, isn't it Pirates of the Caribbean? It might be. Oh my God. Could you imagine? Sorry, fantasy for a second.

I don't know if this is appropriate. What? I'll say it out loud. What are you saying? Don't wait. Let me finish it. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Keep it for behind the paywall. Keep it for behind the paywall.

You're about to get unhinged. Patreon.com slash fear and. What do you guys want to promote before we leave? Because we're about to do the paywall portion. Sad Boys podcast. Sad Boys with a Z. Wait, I had to say something for the Patreon too. Patreon or not for the page for

the normal. Am I on the normal still? Normal still. Guess what? I'm working really hard and I have found a company that will actually ship out tier two things. So if you're tier two, you will start getting stickers and shit. And body pillows are starting to be produced as well.

So I'm putting in work. And Hasan's doing nothing. I'm not doing anything. Straight up. Just so you know, we did find a company. So soon, hopefully within the next month or two, you will start getting things. Hell yeah.

You guys, Sad Boys podcast? Yeah. Patreon.com slash sadboys also. Oh, yeah. Exactly. No, there's no also. All right. We'll see you on the other side behind the paywall.

Bye. Peace. I have beef with a Fear and Viewer. Oh, good. Yeah. Also, I want to hear the thing that you were about to say. Also, I'll do that thing too. But I had my first stand-up comedy show.

Whoa. Let's go. I know. I'm talking about it. Here it is. We were talking about other shit. Why are you mad? It's such a good topic.

I'm sorry we talked about stuff. Wait, that's so sick. You guys need like a preview of the bonus on the main? That could be it. There's your clip. And so I did stand-up for the first time in front of my audience is great did a good job