Fear& - FEAR& ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL (FT. THE YARD)

Episode Date: July 24, 2023

This week is the one year anniversary of us relaunching the fear&malding podcast, dropping the malding, adding me as the lead producer and immediately making it a way better product than an entire production team was able to ever do over the existence of it's predecessor. Yes im talking shit because i worked me dick off the get this podcast off the ground after adopting it and getting it to where it is today and im proud af of what we've built so far. So thank you to everyone who has watched and supported us this past year, it's truly changed my life and i am eternally grateful for you guys. Anyway enough cringe shit this week the yard invited us onto their set to record this special episode, they welcomed us in with open arms absolutely nothing weird transpired to make this episode happen. Enjoy ok goodbye love ya🎉BONUS CONTENT🍾 🌟PATREON - https://www.patreon.com/FearAnd🎧 AUDIO PLATFORMS - https://linktr.ee/fearand✰ follow Fear&! ✰Hasan: https://twitter.com/HasanthehunWill: https://twitter.com/TheWillNeffQT: https://twitter.com/QTCinderellaAustin: https://twitter.com/AustinontwitterMarche: https://twitter.com/MarcheFear&: https://twitter.com/FearAndPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Talk about love. Talk about love. Talk about love. Talk about love. All right, all right, all right. What musical is that? I have absolutely zero clue. I don't even know. Why did you know 525,600 minutes?

I just know that's the amount of... It's a musical. It's a song. That's the amount of minutes in a year. Like, I just know that. He's not a fan of musicals. He just has autism. Yeah, yeah.

I just knew that. And I know that, like, everybody like everybody always says like there's a song that tells you how many minutes are in a year anyway there's also 52 weeks in a year but uh 53 episodes if you want to get to an entire year that's right this is the one year anniversary of we made it we made it a year podcast formerly known as fear and malding now known as fear and we unveiled our first episode on top of a boat yep yep and uh our 53rd episode on top of the the yard yeah we we uh so how did this go down we broke in here they have no they have no idea. Not even a joke. No, not even not not joking.

Not kidding at all. They have no idea we are recording this. They'll be finding out that we are recording it on their set when this gets released on Monday, which is what tomorrow, which is tomorrow. Yes. Tomorrow is when they film, too. So I'm going to toilet paper their tree and they're going to be like, oh, somebody got up to some suspicious things. Yeah, master marketing plan, by the way. Amazing, amazing job.

Very smart. This way they have to talk about us on their relatively successful podcast that we're kind of destroying, I think. Absolutely. No, I mean. We're winning the hearts of minds. Yeah, it's not even close. I mean, I was at Qie's midsummer concert,

and I was talking to a lot of people about podcasts, and they said we were former Yard fans, now Fear Hand fans. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And I look at this set, and I'm like, the set is so good, they must be compensating for something. Absolutely. Yeah.

Lack of personality, lack of character. 100%. Yes. No women. We do have that. No women. Yeah. No women at We do have that. No women. Yeah. No women at all.

I'm always happy to be the token. In fact, we came in here clearly signage indicating no women. Women with crosses through them. It was very weird. Women's bathroom. Especially no pregnant women. That was interesting. Yeah.

They had like the sign with the no pregnant women allowed here. Yeah. No, they're definitely violating multiple uh california labor laws in here absolutely plan b just to enter yeah it's true it's absolutely it's really messed up it's it's really messed up stuff the truth that you need to know but we're not going to spend no we're not going to spend our one year anniversary shitting on a podcast that's you know not as good as ours even though they have a much nicer set apparently. Facts. Which we came here to kind of

fuck up. And they make a lot of money. Probably more than we do. We're bankrupt. Did you know that? Are we? We spent all our money on Paris and Tokyo. We are not. I didn't go to Paris. Okay well you're not bankrupt. They spent all the money in Paris. I paid everything out of pocket.

So I don't know how that would work. We were talking about how I'm Nostradamus, and I always predict everything that's going to happen. Your Paris trip was terrible. I actually, we had a great time, actually. Didn't we, Hasan? My rib was broken. Okay, look.

Also, that's not even like a Nostradamus situation. It's like, we're there because that's, I wasn't like, oh yeah, Will, you have to come to Paris. It's going to be great. You literally told me Twitch is not going to pay for my ticket, but they already have me up for a meet and greet. And I think that's messed up. I asked Twitch to compensate you for your travel and room and board,

which is more than fair. And they said no. So I was like, okay, well then he's not coming you know right well look a little bit different than i was on a ventilator for a couple weeks a ventilator i was on a ventilator i suffered a very traumatic index finger injury yeah i almost didn't make it but i am so happy to be here to tell my tale yeah we got a lot of other things to talk about too i know but you know but let's let's keep talking about that let's keep talking about your your ventilator i was on the ventilator it was every episode shoot i think it was traumatic look look like look i can move it

now i got full range of motion doctors say i'm a miracle i want to talk about austin compensating why did you get us coffee and food today what do do you mean? That is weird. Yeah, that's odd. You asked ahead of time. I did not even think of that. I've been reflecting a little bit. I think I've been a bad friend, so I'm just trying to be better. I'm trying to be a better person. You breaking the mic at Cutie's concert was peak. I haven't broken this one yet so i think i think i might end up breaking this one because unfortunately

i'm sitting on the ludwig seat and he's short yeah yeah oh should we talk about who our yard proxies are yeah i'm nick evidently no i i would be definitely i would be aiden i think but you're but you're not an Aiden seat? No, I'm not an Aiden seat because this is my better side. Well, I'm definitely a slime, and I'm in a slime seat, which, come on. Makes a lot of sense. Yeah, I'm a slime guy. Are you really Ludwig Hassan?

Well, in this crew, it's one of them. Yes, I don't know. What would you say, cutie? I think, I don't know. I think Nick is, cutie? I think, I don't know. I think Nick is, he's very clever. He's very witty. I think I am. Straight edge.

Clever and witty and straight edge. You're pretty straight edge. What do I have in common with Aiden other than. You're gay. Both. Yeah. Of that variety. And you're friendly.

He's also more. And more athletic than you, but. I'm just kidding. Look at him. Oh my God. You didn't even receive it as a joke no no no he literally took a beat and went you gave me a sociopathic stare yeah for a second that was no netflix making i'd like to be clear here if anybody here's a sociopath or like serial killer it'd be will Will Neff. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone. What? That's the obvious one.

We've all thought that. Yeah. There's two things Will Neff would be amazing at. You'd be the best serial killer and you'd also be the best woman. Listen. Wait. He'd be a better woman than me. No. No.

What? No, no. But like, okay. Little context here. That took a minute to hit. No, no, no. little context here. I took a minute to hit. No, no, no. A little context here. Before we spoke, Cutie's obviously clearly the best woman here.

Oh, okay. Until Will Neff is in the room. I want to make it clear. We were talking about... I'm too tired to be a woman. Of all of us, I was like... Cutie was... Can I talk about what you were talking about before?

Yes, I'm on my period. Yeah, she's on her period. And I'm exhausted exhausted which is normal and natural and beautiful don't say it like that you dumb bitch wait what is me off what is he supposed to say he's like it's icky normal and natural and beautiful like it's part of the human it's a it's part of the human fucking hallmark cards over here you guys talk about cum like it's the best sauce on the planet but you can't casually talk about a period when do i talk about cum all of's the best sauce on the planet, but you can't casually talk about a period? When do I talk about cum? All of you talk about cum.

I mean, yeah, you're being quite homophobic right now. I love cum. I am homophobic. I actually have a cum-based story. Wait, before you- That's what I thought. Where's your period-based story? No, I don't want to-

We're so ADD. All of us are so- Oh, no. Stay in. Stay in. Okay. about cutie's period first no i don't want to we're so add all of us oh no stay in stay in so okay cutie yes which is having a very normal natural human experience right now a beautiful beautiful one yeah some would say some say the hardest job in the world um having a period yes yes some that's the hard i think you're mistaking that for child okay well that okay they're both up there i'm having cramps but we were saying that if all of us were women, Will would be the best one.

Fair. Not excluding Cutie because she's obviously the best. Yeah. But of the men, you would be the best one. Of the men, I would by far be the best one.

And why would that be? I just have that je ne sais quoi. Yeah, you would- I carry myself. And you would use your sex for- I would seduce. I'd be a big time seducer. I don't know what kind of woman I would be.

Like, I don't even know how I would be. Oh, I see my house from Russia. I'm Sarah Palin. I'm sorry. We need to pause. What the fuck? Was that like a Jamaican? No, no.

That was Sarah Palin. I bought this. No, it was Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin. That was Sarah Palin. Oh, No, it was Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin. Oh, I can see my house from Russia. Oh, I can see my house from Russia. Or I can see Russia from my house. I can see Russia from my house.

You betcha. You betcha. Do you know this line? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. This is a very common Sarah Palin line. Yeah. What?

She said I can see Russia from my house. Oh, famously. Oh, I can see Russia from my house. In the 2008 campaign. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. I was living my life being awesome. No. Oh, famously. Oh, I can see Russia from my house. In the 2008 campaign. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. I was living my life being awesome. No.

Okay, look, Will, I was... You don't care about America? Look, I would venture to say I was in politics... All three of us voted for Sarah Palin, specifically as vice president. Now, look, I would venture to say... You were 15 years old. I don't know what you're talking about.

I was into politics before Hassan was. That's Sarah Palin. 100%. 100% I was into American politics before you were. You'd be Sarah Palin. I was campaigning for John Kerry in 2004. Okay, I wasn't in the country, but as someone who wasn't in the country,

I was still very much tapped into American politics. You don't know shit about the 2004 election. American decisions. Yeah. Okay. We can't get political. We can't get political so i don't want to get political but like also okay what's john kerry's big controversy big controversy

john kerry uh don't look at anyone else for help but his dick no oh come on i know this one the boat yeah swift boat fucking idiot what else what piece of shit. What was John Kerry's, what did John Kerry portray himself as as a counter to Bush? Look, we don't have time for this. Big time war vet. Also, double down. Okay.

Oh my God, it's the KFC double down. Hold down your little mittens. How the hell do I not know this and I was paying attention? Let's go back to Cutie's beautiful period. I use jumbo extra huge tampons. What about you, Will? Wait, what?

Do you have a head? Wait, do you? I just wanted to make... No, those don't exist! This podcast is off the rails. Wait, first of all... Wait, jumbo tampons don't exist? Not jumbo extra huge.

I mean, there's regular and like, there's like. What if you have a heavy flow? Well, there's regular and super. Jumbo extra huge. No, I think it's regular and super. I think. Super. That's where they just take a cock gun and.

Yeah. No, but. I don't know. You came in here. I just buy regular. You came in here, cutie. Like a wrecking ball. Thank you.

And you were like, my cervix hurt. No. Or what was it? My uterus. Uterus. Why would it be her cervix? I don't know. That would imply that

she's having crazy sex with love and lust. I'm not gonna lie. We do have the advantage of watching that naked show on the Patreon last. And we learned all the parts of the vagina.

I'm so glad that I know the baby of my joy. You guys watched that without me? Also, wait, hold on. We watched that without you because we're homophobic. And two, Cutie knew less about the woman, like the anatomy of a vagina than Will and I did.

That's true. They said that. I still don't get it. I still don't. I finally get it. I finally get it. Labia majora is the outer lips. Why don't they just call them the lips?

The vagina shell, because it's not the lips. Yeah,'t they just call them the lips? Like the vagina shell, because it's not the lips. Yeah, but they should call them that. The labia minora is actually like the lippy lips. Yeah, but what's the dingling? That's the labia minora. That's the labia minora. The whore. The majora is like the shell.

How is that? How is that? The majora is like Barbie pussy. Minora is like meat flap. Wow. Yeah. We watched that naked show, and this one girl had a particularly

long dingling oh menorah and that's the menorah also a menorah is the device that candles are placed into during jewish high holy days without labias just no labia so happy okay it was confusing that and they should change assholes are so much simpler i don't think they are i think that there's there's definitely some there is like so much more prep work no you just don't know because you're a fucking selfish top i'm not you have no idea i'm a self amount of effort that bottoms have to go through. I'm going to tell you something that I've never told anybody. Every bottom that I've been with is

so shocked at how I am so eager to pleasure them. This is like when Andrew Tate talks about women that love him. Do you douche? I don't douche. Why would I douche? You don't do the prep? No, because I'm topping.

So I'm just saying. That's right. Yeah. He's exactly. No, I know there's a lot to go into. You're just changing subject. No, but I'm saying. No, you just tried it. I'm not a selfish top.

I'm sick and tired of this. You pulled a Donald Trump and you went. Women like it. Many people are saying I'm the greatest top they've ever seen. I want. Look, I get pleasure in the person I'm with having pleasure. And so if they're not enjoying the experience and they're not getting off, I'm not enjoying it. This doesn't negate what.

This has nothing to do with anything. Back to your heavy flow cervix. No, I don't. Your cervix. My cervix. And the jumbo. My cervix has a heavy flow with a jumbo extra huge tampon. That's right.

Do you guys know what a diva cup is? Yes. A diva cup? Yeah. It's. Oh. Just take a guess. A cup at which you.

But divas. I feel like this is some sexist thing. It's got to be sexist. Go ahead. How dare they. Go ahead. Explain to us what a diva cup is. It's got to be like.. Go ahead. How dare they? Go ahead. Explain to us what a diva cup is. It's got to be like a diva is a negative connotation.

Maybe a cup at which you just kind of throw down there and. Do what? I don't know. What do you do with that? A diva cup. Well, we're talking about periods. So it's got to be something about a period. Or I was pivoting away from periods because I'm sick of extra huge jumbo large tampons with a heavy floor.

I mean, you went from period to diva cups? I'm going straight face. Don't give him anything. I was thinking like the diva. That wouldn't make sense to have a period into a cup. Did you nailed it? You did. That's what it is.

Wait, really? That's what it is. When I first found out about diva cups, I was shocked. Why would you have a cup? No, it's like a little cup. Whoa, it's reusable. Are would you have a cup? No, it's like a little cup. Whoa, it's reusable. Are you diva cupping? No.

It's better for the environment. Would you diva cup for the Patreon and report back on it? I've diva cupped in my life. Have you? Yeah, it's actually, they're very dope. Can you, wait, can you feel it when it gets full? No, it's actually more comfortable than a tampon. I'm not kidding you.

So where does the blood go? Okay. In the cup. So it's inside of you. So it's a cork than a tampon. I'm not kidding you. So where does the blood go? Okay. In the cup. So it's inside of you. So it's a cork, essentially. Oh. Yeah. So it's a silicone cup.

It's like a bloop. And then you fold it like a taco, so it has an angle. And then you shove the angle up there. And then it goes like this. And it, like, suctions against your cervix, I believe. So it's like a wine decanter. Yeah. How do you pee?

Because it's a different hole. It's a different hole. That was a joke. I'm so confused. That was a joke, right? No, it wasn't. No, I mean, seriously, I don't understand how it works. But...

How do you shit? How do you shit? Well, I know that, but like, it's all in the same area. Wouldn't it get in the way? No, the cool thing about Diva Cups, I haven't used one in many, many years. Oh, interesting. The cool thing about it is you can leave it in for like 24 hours because it's just a cork. But when you take it out, it's like.

Yeah. And and and I'm not even kidding. People in my community have told me that, like, you're supposed you're supposed to wash it is reusable. And the way that they wash it in the past is like they put it in the fucking dishwasher. No, that's crazy. That's insane. That makes sense. Is it like a is it like a shot glass? No, that's crazy. That's insane. No, that makes sense. Is it like a shot glass?

No, it's like a little silicone cup. You just use the bathroom sink. You don't need to use the dishwasher. So we digress. You're having a particularly hard period. I just have a bad cramp. It just seems to me. So when she came in here,

I was like, wow, being a woman is so tough. Yeah. It is harder. Yeah. I think it's like talked about. I aside led there yeah well thank you well one time one time at my old corporate job i was doing an interview with a woman and uh she stood up and just blood gushed out of her was she a free bleeder and i was like a And I was like, you guys have these like old frat terms. No,

that is not a, that's not a frat term at all. She's a free bleeder, bro. What the fuck do you think we talk about? No, no, he's not wrong because the diva cup does seem weird and also sounds like,

Oh, diva. Free bleeding is also a terminology not created by like frat bros, but by like a frat bro term. Yeah, a tramp. She's a free bleeder. Unhinged is a small sliver of like people who consider this activism. But like free bleeding was like this unhinged, tiny, marginal sliver of a movement that refused to utilize like tampons or pads or a diva cup that's wild

and just kind of let it ride it's wild it's wild it's a part of like as a part of like feminist activism but like not necessarily this is not representative of anything really um but they did that and they call themselves free bleeders and they were just fucking i can't believe we're talking about period god that's a good name for a podcast for one year anniversary the woman stood up blood gushed out of her i thought she was having a miscarriage i was like oh my god are you okay like doing it like holy shit like like freaking out was she fat is that why you thought she was having a miscarriage jesus blood out of her hassan that's why i thought she was pregnant she was wearing a skirt

and it's just I don't know oh my god and then and then she's like oh my god I was wearing a diva cup

and it flipped sometimes they flip oh and then you lose that sounds like wait that's so much blood

though like would she not have any panties for the corporate interview what's going on I think she did but it's just it's too much

that's crazy she played flip cup she played most dangerous flip cup that's the biggest any panties for the corporate interview? I think she did, but it's just too much. She played flip cup. She played most dangerous flip cup. That's the biggest downfall of diva cups is sometimes the suction doesn't take. Was this a job interview? Yeah. Did she get the job? I don't remember. But if your legs are crossed,

if you cross your legs, it can like, you know, like essentially add an air bubble where the suction cup is and then if it it just pours out yeah kind of oh no that's very sad yeah so that is why ever since that i was like i'm never trying to do the cup the more you know but this actually this actually is important um because this is why we have two additional co-hosts now. You know what I mean? Like when we first started.

Don't wink at me. Austin winked at me. It was supposed to be. When we first started. I'm going back to the theme. We get the other perspectives. I'm going back to the theme of this being the one year anniversary. Yes.

Like when we first started, it was just you and I. We started two years ago. Yeah. We started two years ago in the middle of the pandemic, right? The plannedemic. We have to ask you guys. You've added Cutie and I to the crew. Who's better?

Do you regret it? Yes. Absolutely. Every day of my life. Really? Absolutely. Do you miss it, just the two of you? Yes.

And now you can't go back, right? Yeah, you can't do that. The audience is... I mean, you could just not invite me. We would literally get... I'd be fine. We would get... No, she's fine.

Oh, it's me. Oh. Oh, well, you know what? You're going to regret that. I'll be right back. See, I told you he's deflecting. He's leaving like Toto. He got his coffee.

Should we talk about the experience while you're gone? Wait. What experience? Yesterday's shenanigans. Yes, we're going to talk about... Or should we wait for you? We're going to talk shit about you. Okay, we'll wait for you.

One thing I want to bring up, to your anniversary, I had my dad send me a photo that I wanted to give out of him wearing the Rothy's. Oh, my God. Oh, the Rothy's. So this is before your time, even before Fear. And when we were doing Fear and Malding, we got locked into a contract with a not so

great production company so great and they worked us like a workhorse yeah they didn't have any times that we could shoot at that were like good and normal and reasonable so we shoot at like 6 a.m on a wednesday morning yeah and yeah they kind of treated us like the ugly stepchild. Yeah. They're like, yeah, go in at 6 a.m. when no one can see you.

Don't say hi to Sarah Silverman. Don't look in her direction. Don't look it in her eyes. Don't look at her direction. And then, you know, we would do it and they gave us

so many fucking ad reads. Dude, I went back and I don't even know if you remember this. We did an episode with Tony Hawk. Oh, that was so awkward.

And Tony Hawk and I forget the name of his like cohort. The guy who like is a co-owner of Liquid Death, I think. The bald guy. Yes. They bailed on being in studio at the last second. So they were going remote. Yeah. And they clearly had no fucking idea who we were.

And they didn't want to be there. And they were just promoting the skateboard with Tony Hawk's blood in the paint. That's weird. And liquid death. And it was one of those things where like I really liked Tony Hawk. And I was really excited for the episode. And it was horrible. I think it's one of the worst things I've ever made.

Oh my god. And it was horrible i think it's one of the worst things i've ever made and it was it was painful it was really bad and you can go back and watch it and it's one of the most painful things they have no idea who we are no they don't care no at all and tony hawk's co-host had just come out as bisexual yeah and his audience was being enormously shitty about it yeah and so like i kind of turned into like younger brothers. And we're trying to be like supportive of the fact that he's queer. And you could just tell he's like still in a really not great place about it. It was so, it was very weird. Yeah.

So we get to the end and our producer, this is the moment I knew we had to make a new podcast. Our producer comes in over the line and it's during the pandemic and her like kids are running everywhere in the background. And she's like, that went great. What did you think? And I don't know if you remember this verbatim. I said, that is one of the worst things I've ever made. I'm ashamed. I don't know if we should release it. And I think this podcast should come to an end.

Wow. And then. What does this have to do with anything? What are you doing? Oh, my God. I told you he was compensating for something. Wait, I'm so confused right now. Cutie. for something wait i'm so confused right now cutie

no this is like mac and always sunny where he comes in jacked one episode is like hey guys they're like what cutie cutie stop saying cutie what i piss me off i I went to Tokyo. Oh my God. That was months ago. I went to Tokyo and I came back with a sticker. Bro, he's been holding on to this for so long. I'm so happy about this. I decided that I would surprise you and dress up as one of my favorite Disney characters. I will surprise you. I don't want you to be my Woody. And dress up as one of my favorite Disney characters. I will allow this. And I wanted to sing you a song.

I love the sticker. There's no fucking way. Sorry, I'm nice. Wanted to sing you a song. Yay. Does Woody sing any songs in the movie? No. Okay.

The studio does not have good shell sticks. And I also brought you some gifts. But first, I wanted to sing you a song. He's been holding this in. You've got a friend.

You can't just go into it yet. Where's my phone? Let me set the stage for a second. I think, like, our last episode of Fear End wraps up. Austin sends me a text message. He goes, Sasan, you're going to be receiving a package at your home. And I said to him, okay, sure. He's like, don't open it.

And I was like, fine, I won't open it. Package sat there for, like, what, two weeks now almost? Finally, he grabs it in the middle of the AOC stream while I'm was like, fine, I won't open it. Package sat there for like, what, two weeks now almost? Finally, he grabs it in the middle of the AOC stream while I'm like, he runs inside in a panic while I'm doing the AOC stream. Runs out, had no idea what was in the package. Yesterday, he spent the entire day on stream leading up to the AOC stream complaining about YouTube commenters getting genuinely mad at him for his gift. Being terrible.

Like he is... This sticker was an abomination. I thought it was funny. It was supposed to be a joke. It was funny. But you know what? It was a bad joke and I'm a bad friend. No.

So, Cutie, this song... You're letting the YouTubers win. This song is for you. You've got a friend in me. You've got a friend in me. You've got a friend in me. You were far and wide and in boot. Had a nice warm bed. I can't look at you.

Just don't remember what your old pal said. You've got a friend in me. You got a friend in me. So cutie, I went all the way to Paris Disney. Completely redeem yourself. And I got you a lot of wonderful gifts. Not the backpack. What about the bag?

Not the backpack. It's mine. Oh, the backpack is yours. It's broken. I wouldn't want to give her a broken gift. Oh, okay. And my shaving kit's in here. First things first,

I got you some authentic Disney Paris popcorn. I love that. No, it's from Disney Paris popcorn. I don't want that. No, it's from Disney Paris popcorn. Thank you so much. Oh, my God. Thank you. Oh, God. Oh, he's breaking the mic again.

And then the next thing I got. You got a friend in me. I went to Paris. And what better representation of Paris than Minnie Mouse and the Eiffel Tower. Wow. Look at that. Huh? Thank you. Oh, yeah.

And now we know we know you like to cook. We know you like to cook, Kitty. But what say? We know you like to cook, Cutie But what are you gonna cook? I don't know Let me tell ya I got you a cookbook Wait From a Ratatouille cookbook

And it has all the recipes And it's all in French So I hope you know how to speak French But Ludwig does Yep And here we go Now, now cutie you must be asking yourself what am I going to wear while I'm cooking from this ratatouille thing you got us all costume I got you a ratatouille okay look at that. Wow. And a Ratatouille.

Is that a baby baby? No, it's an apron. Oh. So I got you all these gifts. It's giving sexist, I do have to say. No, it's not giving sexist. It's giving divorced dad. The Minnie Mouse thing was like fine.

And now he's like, here, cutie, learn to cook. Wow. Where you belong, in the kitchen, with a rat on your head. All that is for you. And you know what, cutie? I want to say something that I'm having a difficult time with, but the backpack is also yours. You don't want the backpack?

No, it's okay. You can keep it. Okay. How are you going to carry all that? You need the backpack? This is very noble of you. I tried, and look, admittedly, the bit kind of fell apart. No, this is very noble of you.

Because I hired a musical accompaniment for this, but we had to move the podcast, so they weren't able to come. Was it just TJ? Yeah, it was TJ. I hired a musical accompaniment for it, and he actually didn't hire him. He was going to do it for free. But anyway, I brought him on. He was going to show up, but then he couldn't Because he had a gig today

But we were gonna do it yesterday And also I did hire a Buzz Lightyear But they also couldn't make it Who? It was like a Kids party Buzz Lightyear It didn't work out

Thank God That's amazing That would have been really awkward That would have been awkward Was he supposed to hang out with us? They would have left They were just gonna sit next to you Sit next to me as I sang to you.

The rest of the podcast. Wow. But anyway, I wanted to make it up to you. I got you a sticker in Tokyo. Yeah. People in the comments were legitimately upset. They called me a piece of shit. Man.

People were saying that I was an awful human being. Yeah, these are the types of people who think movies are real. Okay? And you're upset at those people which is ridiculous i wonder i wonder what he's gonna do to make up for his total performance now oh god okay okay we're gonna we're gonna talk about that wow wait let's segue into that thank you very very much it's very nice of you it's definitely over the top for the record podcast listeners we were just trying to use that because i didn't go to japan we were just trying to use it for content and austin did produce

content yes give me a sticker and that was more important than anything else but you know what i successfully bullied him into giving me more so no i i actually took a lot of effort and a lot of care i walked around disney park i tried to do these are cute i tried to buy some i didn't just pull anything random i tried to buy some things that i felt would would the cookbook is great but okay and by the way can I explain something the food the popcorn I think it's cool because that that was actually in Paris I bought that it does that's french popcorn and it's sealed I haven't opened it I didn't even take a bite I thought about it but I didn't take a bite it's a nice it's a nice cook and I don't know much better than the gift you gave me which was a broken rib okay so look all right that was

look significantly better gift there i think look and the woody thing it kind of didn't really make sense but you know i like it but let's get into the pressing issue yes the pressing why did the stills of you from yesterday look like shots from schindler's list the black and whites literally look like schindler's list okay look yesterday first of all i went out on friday night yeah i was hung over yeah so i show up at cutie's wonderful event oh wait let me let me butt in here he didn't just show up at cutie's event okay cutie cinderella hasn't told us what we're supposed to be doing i am you know a responsible adult so i did not go out and drink that night because i was like well it's gonna just don't go out

never go out and okay well regardless i was gonna go party hardy last night the night yeah prior to the event yeah and i chose not to okay you? My best friend John Mayer hit me up. He said, hey, you want to go on a bender? Oh, my God. And I was just like, nah, dog, can't do it. Got to do something else for my bestie, cutie Cinderella. Don't know what it is. Could be, you know. Bank robbery.

Could be bank robbery, which would have been very cool. You guys were very excited to rob banks. We were very excited to rob banks, style and style. Anyway, so I'm on my way. I'm time which by the way you know everybody uh fuck you for everyone who always is this on you're never on time i'm on time sure i get a phone call as i'm circling the venue trying to figure out exactly where it is i get a phone call from austin he goes hey how far out are you i was like, I'm literally pulling up to the venue. And he goes, oh, well, you know, I'm like 13 minutes away.

Eight minutes. Oh, he said eight, but he ended up being later than that. But it's fine. He's like, oh, I'm eight minutes away. I was like, okay, so why are you calling me? He goes, oh, I thought you'd be late. So I could, while still being eight minutes late, I could go and get coffee.

I could stop somewhere and get some coffee for myself before I came through. Look, if he was going to be late, I was going to just arrive at the same time as him. We're not starting without him, right? You already know. I know you and I run things similar. If Ahsan is there, we're not starting without him.

I was actually fine starting without him because I was going to cast the play and then it'd be drama that he got Dorothy. Oh, but he wasn't there. Fuck. Okay, so I would have just been – Well, the Dorothy and the dog wouldn't have been there. Well, the dog wasn't there most of the play. Yeah, okay.

Oh, true. Am I wrong about this? I cannot tell a lie. We made eye contact multiple times And I was in the Like stands and he was on stage I could not help But crack up laughing

At how miserable Okay so I got casted as the dog For I thought it would be funny I thought it would be funny Yeah literally second most stage time in the entire play. Yeah, literally second most stage time in the entire play. And unfortunately. OK, so I got cast as dog and I got put in this extremely hot dog costume.

I didn't realize I was hung over. I'm lucky with air conditioning. I was hung over and I had to be on my hands and knees for two hours barking. OK, this was crazy. I thought you weren't. So I said something's crazy. I was hungover and I had to be on my hands and knees for two hours barking. Okay? Crazy I thought you weren't a selfish crazy. Can I say something that's crazy? First of all, I'm not even mad at cutie because it was fucking hilarious and I'm looking at the photos, but you know, it's fucking crazy Alright, first of all as I sit here dressed as Woody. Okay, sure dedicating myself to my friend I don't see what the fuck you guys doing, huh? So vain Look are you guys doing, huh? So vain.

Look at you guys. This is why you got us coffee today. Okay. I go. No, yeah. I get people, everybody coffee. Okay. Right.

And I go on stage and I'm on my hands and knees in a sweaty dog costume for two and a half hours. And I'm the diva. I mean, you were not there. You were on stage for maybe 30 minutes. No. Come on. Let's sit down. Oh, we can go

back and we can go back and look at the vibe also weren't using your knee pads and they would have helped you a lot they kept falling off you also took off your costume i did it ripped it ripped i was shirtless i left i left the so awesome i'm directing right i'm trying to pay attention to the script and i can just hear austin in the background during the play and someone's like are you gonna get up there? And you go, don't even talk to me. Don't even ask me about it. No, I did not say that.

Did I really? And I'm like, oh my God. I made all my friends. No. I left thinking everyone hated the experience. No, no, no, no. I don't think, no, I don't think they said, are you going to get up on stage? They said, no, it pissed me off.

I remember what that exchange. Uh-oh. It pissed me off because I was sitting there and they were like, they're like, oh yeah, everybody's doing great except maybe Austin. I was like, don't even talk to me. Who said that?

I think it was Peach, but she was clearly joking, but I was in a bad mood. Because she's like, you know when you're clearly doing the best you can, you're on your hands and knees as a fucking dog for the Wizard of Oz. What I should have done, a good director, I should have switched you with Peach because Peach wanted to be the dog so bad. No, it was perfect.

Cutie, I want to say this. I want everybody to know this. I was cranky and hungover, but I am so happy that you did that because the pictures and everything was amazing. You guys did slay. We slayed. I was the perfect role for that and look i was i told cutie this i texted her the murder of vibes austin i was not the

murder of vibes it was perfect really yes i thought everyone hated it because you hated it so much i was the dog i was on my hands and will if you were the dog on your hands and knees for two and a half hours you would be just i would have made it work you would have been cranky as he would have been he would have been the sexiest dog you've ever seen you would have made it work. You would have been cranky as fuck. He would have been the sexiest dog you've ever seen. He would have been like, oh, oh. No. Cutie made the right decision. Me being a miserable dog.

I guess we'll never know. I guess we'll never know. I guess we'll never know. Okay. Forgive me. But you're not invited to the bank heist. Forgive me. Here's what's going on.

Here's what's going on. For those of you who are unfamiliar with what just happened, Cutie Cinderella put on what i like to call teaching hassan uh american classics in cinema i'm converting all my friends to theater kids where i've i'm not a oh no wizard of oz fucking sucks i i did not like it as as a film person the wizard of oz is fucking so also apparently the original wizard of oz like killed a bunch of the cast yeah yeah they were using asbestos yeah yeah yeah one of one of the munchkins hung themselves they kept all the munchkins segregated you know the big uh like wedge building in culver city that was like

the munchkin ranch where they kept they put them in a ranch yeah like because they were like sub human people they kept them in their own building. That's insane. Yeah, no, no, no. And then Judy Garland, they fucked her up. They gave her eating disorders, and they kept her pumped on pills the entire time. That's how I felt yesterday.

No, no, no. There's nothing about that story that I think is compelling. I don't think it's particularly well-written. It's not a good story at all. I think the entire show is built around somewhere over the rainbow which is like one of the great musical songs ever right i will give it that off somewhere no that song sucks ass too somewhere over the rainbow is great the rest of the show total dog shit i i don't understand like the entire time she's like she hates fucking kansas kansas like everyone's treating her like shit entire time she's like she hates fucking kansas kansas like everyone's treating her like shit and then she's like desperately trying to go back to kansas when

she could have just like stayed in la la like fort minor would say you don't know what you got till it's gone and that's okay do you actually like the wizard of oz i think so i thought it was a great event no i, the event is totally separate. I'm talking about the movie. I think you're disparaging Cutie and her event. Shut up! No, you're trying to pass blame. Yeah.

Shut up, dog. I was... I grew up... It's probably just nostalgia. I grew up loving the Wizard of Oz. So I just... It has a special place in my heart. It was the only thing she was allowed to watch

in her Mormon household. Even though there were wizards. Can we get it out there that I think that my performance as his dog, the misery played into my character? We were all miserable. What do you mean? Oh, yeah. I'm so sorry, Hassan.

You had to be on your hands and knees as a dog. I will clarify, though, for YouTube, the event was awesome. The Wizard of Oz I am talking about is the original film. Not Hassan's Dorothy. Judy's. Okay, first of all, my rendition of Dorothy with the transatlantic accent was great. I thought you played a great Dorothy.

Also, you look kind of hot. That was very weird. You kept saying that. No, I'm not even unironically. I have a take that I hope you all agree with. Okay. What is it? The Wiz is better than the Wizard of Oz.

You mean? Michael Jackson, the Wiz? Yes. I haven't seen the Wiz. The Black Wizard of Oz. I've never seen the Wiz. I've never seen it. What?

I haven't seen it either. Oh, racism. Racism abound. I have no idea what you're talking about. Racism abound. I don't support Michael Jackson. I haven't seen Wicked. Oh, did that bug zapper actually just bug zap?

Yeah, it does that. Wait, is it like a real, that's a real bug zapper. That's a real bug zapper. Okay, let me inform you guys. Michael Jackson did a version of The Wizard of Oz that is absolute gasoline. All the tedium of old transatlantics like somewhere turns into, come on, whiz. I love that. I bet you know who he is.

It's just fucking, it's heat. It's electric. I'm going to watch it. It's good. There's also this weird movie called Return to Oz where they like cut off people's heads and shit. Yep. And it's like Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.

That sounds way sicker than The Wizard of Oz. Well, I've done the musical thing, so I can't do it again. The Wicked was great. Popular. Why do you keep making me play lead roles when I don't know anything about the show? Because I think it's funny.

He's a pretty good actor. Yeah, you are a pretty good actor. He's a pretty good actor. Not as good as me, but close. I mean, if you go look at the story of that dog and what he had to endure on set of Wizard of the Oz, you would know that it was channeled. Wizard of the Oz.

Wizard of Oz. The Wizard of Oz. If you go look at the story of that dog, look it up. That dog had a miserable life. Yeah. Well, I mean, they- And I was channeling it. They treated the actors. In fact, had that dog been a miserable life. Yeah. And I was channeling it.

In fact, had that dog been alive today, that dog would have appreciated that performance. What's something that the yard would do? What do they do on their thing? I don't know. I never watched their podcast. By the way, by the way,

us being here and breaking into their studio and we're going to teepee their tree, is a direct consequence. I gave them the option. I said blowjob. Oh, my God. Oh, the blowbang. The blowbang.

Wait, what? We offered them. We challenged them. We challenged them. We said, look. Forever ago. I don't know why. This could have all been avoided with one simple blowjob,

and it didn't happen. You were going to blow all of them? Yes. I thought they were blowing you. Whatever. One or the other. You're fine with either. I was okay with both.

And that didn't happen. And so here we are, Yard. Well, look what you did. Look what you did, Yard. Look at us. We did do another challenge recently. What's that? We did the fast food challenge.

Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. By the way, thanks for the invite. You wouldn't have. No. Dude, that? We did the fast food challenge. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. By the way, thanks for the invite. You wouldn't have. No, come on. Dude, you would have been so bad at that. You would have. Your performance as the dog would have looked like your most heroic moment.

Excuse me. I am an eater. I know how to eat. No, you're not. No, you're not. No, you're not. It wasn't an eating dick challenge. Don't look at me.

You would have killed it on that one great excuse me i projectile vomited fries you told me that you had to go you were telling me that you had to go like you were at mentioning that you had to go to the er several times okay wait let me let me explain something you did mention that you were going to go to her she did except she pulled rose up to the occasion. I would have rose up to the occasion. At first I thought cutie, bad idea for having cutie in the car. No, she was the guzzler. She fucking clutched it in the last. She guzzled the drinks and she ate the fries.

Yeah. You know what? I guess we'll never know. Okay, no, we can do a play by play. We go to the Chick-fil-A. We go to the Chick-fil-A. We get a Cobb sandwich. Okay, I know.

Love it too. Cobb salad sandwich has sandwich has unfortunately not grilled chicken i would have done it i just ate a spicy chicken sandwich the other day okay you would have eaten the cop salad sandwich with the 320 calorie sauce competition i would have i would have sucked it up i don't believe i don't believe you i just ate a spicy chicken okay whopper junior like would have done it all if this was a challenge a food challenge i would have bit a spicy chicken sandwich. Okay, Whopper Jr. Would have done it all. If this was a challenge, a food challenge, I would have bit the bullet. I would have eaten the food. You wouldn't have gotten worried about your cholesterol?

No, I wouldn't have. 5,000 calories. I wouldn't have counted the macros. It's fine. If it was a competition, why would I enter into a competition? He's doing the classic armchair quarterback, and he's like, Yeah, if it was me, I would have ate 6,000 calories. Everybody in the comments knows.

No. No one agrees. We know you better than they do, and we have no faith in you. Do you know how hard it is to maintain a body like this? I would like to say that I'm sorry. I did not know that you would have participated. I would have participated. He should have just been the driver.

To be honest, I did not know that Cutie wanted to participate either. I would have been the driver. You know what? I felt left out. It was a yard versus the fear and, and I wasn't even a part of it. Wasn't even mentioned. You were mentioned. We talked about you. Oh yeah. Talk shit about me. Yeah, a lot because everywhere

we went, I was thinking in the back of my mind, what would Austin do if he was faced with the challenge of like having to eat anything that's not just grilled chicken? No, I eat other things. You're also like a picky eater too. Yes. You are a sneaky picky eater. I did not even realize this. No, I eat other things. You're also like a picky eater too. Yes. You are a sneaky picky eater.

I did not even realize this. Hold on, Hasan Piker. I went to an omakase restaurant and ate eel, a bunch of sushi that you would have not even fucking touched. Yeah, but could have you eaten? Until you can sit at the sushi bar with a world-renowned sushi chef as they cook raw or they serve you talk so much raw sushi by the way okay it was awful but you know what i sat there and i endured it with your brother where the fuck were you yeah i i spent time with your brother where were you the only thing i don't me and marat the only thing i don't eat is seafood other than that i'm fucking tanking

what about 10 cartons of fries would have done it six chicken fingers i'd done that would have gotten ice cream and half a jamocha shake i would have done it and a chicken fingers. I would have gotten ice cream and half a jamocha shake. I would have done it. And a raspberry. I'm not really strict on my diet right now anyway. I just don't believe it. All starches and carbs. Why am I being abused for being a healthy eater?

Because you and I have body dysmorphia. It's normal for me to have it because I'm actually fat. You're already shredded. And you're literally like You're so insane About your diet Which you're supposed to be In order to maintain

That body fat percentage You have the best body It's okay I can't do anything right You have the best body On the Fear and Podcast We should have made you the driver I want

Look at me I'm dressed as Woody I ordered everybody Starbucks I can't believe you The one he did a premeditated like act of kindness so that he could just fucking be ruthlessly i just want everybody to see what i have to deal with that's so catty i love that i want to go back to how cutie would assume we would be as women. Oh.

Are you ready for that? Creatively speaking? Creatively speaking. I think, Hasan, you would be a very unhappy woman. I am an unhappy man. I think you would have a lot of issues. All the things that make you appealing as a man would make you unappealing as a woman i hate how that happens what are we what are we are gruff you are um barbarous yeah i don't think you'd be very like feminine i'd be very i'd be a butch lady yeah Hey, give me that chicken salad. I think Will would be a very popular woman.

Yes. She would be. Will would be a bit of a slut. But a positive slut. Also, I feel like you would be the popular girl. And you would definitely not associate with other types of women. You wouldn't talk to her. You would be a very manipulative and conniving woman, though. I would gaslight the shit out of people.

I think as a man, you'd be an evil woman. You've got potato farmer hands as a man, which plays into you overcompensating and trying to be as nice as possible. As a woman, we're assuming the potato farmer hands turns into potato farmer titties. Well, all the women in my family are very attractive. That's what I'm saying.

Like, you would be like a buxom, you know, childbearing hips type lady. Austin would be a Karen. And you would utilize Yes.

Yes. Oh, yes. No, I would not. No, I would not. I'm a, everybody calls me a Karen. I do not complain that often. Oh, we have not. Everybody calls me a Karen. I do not complain that often.

Oh! We have to ask a question. Marriott Cobalt. What's that? Oh! Marriott Cobalt. Okay, let me set the scene. You are not the highest level in Marriott.

I know. Turns out. There is a secret level, apparently, known as Cobalt. Yes, I learned this in the chat. Why are you such a broke bitch? I didn't know that there was a secret level. I spent all of his money on my Disney present. I did spend a lot of money on it.

I am a Marriott ambassador, but not a Cobalt member. Cobalt is invite only. Yeah. How do you get an invite? I don't know. You have to invite by the CEO. And I don't know Marriott. They're Mormon.

Do you know them? The secret message is popcorn popping. Do you know the CEO? You know there's a Book of Mormon in every room in Marriott. Did you know that? I didn't. You should read it. For the Patreon content of this episode yeah using that confessional booth

yeah can we have you call Marriott headquarters and ask to be cobalt sure there's no way they're they're gonna not know what that is but you you think even the employees no don't know what the secret level is I will call them and ask them if yeah I'll do that so what is the secret level is. I will call them and ask them if... Yeah, I'll do that. So what is the secret level? I don't know what that endures, but there's also... Delta also has one that I am not a part of. What's it called? Whoa!

It's called Delta 360. So you're double fucked. Yeah. You have dedicated your entire life to being a good consumer. Yep. And both of these corporations that you have basically

signed your life away to, you've done fealty. My day will come. I don't think so, man. I think my day will come. Cobalt. I think... 360.

I think you've... I heard, a little bird told me, that if you complain too much... No. I don't... They just blacklisted. No, hold on. Blacklist.

Blacklist. I am... I don't complain. I haven't even... I can't even remember the last time I complained at a hotel. No, hold on. Blacklist. I am. I don't complain. I haven't even come. I can't even remember the last time I complained at a hotel. I really can't. I can. When?

The picket line? When the United Year picket line. No, I didn't complain about that. The cookies. I know I didn't. The picket line. No, the cookies were a long time ago. That was a $35 cookie.

That's an abomination. That you ordered the next night as well. I did. But look, it was who pays 30. I ordered a cookie. It was 35 bucks. Who pays 35 bucks for a chocolate chip cookie? I was also on the phone with Austin earlier today and he was like $77 for Starbucks.

Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah. Come on. Yeah. $77. It is a lot. I paid $80 for this. And look, I ordered it.

Joe Brandon's America. 80 bucks is like. This is Joe's fault. I don't think that's Karen behavior. That's $80 for Starbucks. Look, I ordered it. Joe Brandon's America. $80 is like, I don't think that's Karen behavior. That's $80 for Starbucks. No, it's just crazy. I agree with that. $35 cookie is crazy. $80 for Starbucks is crazy. And I want, my DMs are open.

And I've been trying to do this, but nobody DMs me with their problems. I am a consumer advocate. I don't want consumers. Consumers are often taken advantage of by predatory corporations they want to exploit you for your money remember your business to these corporations is not a privilege it's earned and they have to earn your business they don't have a right to it they have to earn it and that's what i believe and you should get all the value out of yes you know everything helped me with so i ordered the

scripts for wizard of oz from staples so i could have a few hours highlighting and stuff like that they're supposed to be picked up by a courier and brought to me by 6 p.m uh 7 p.m no nothing and staples closed at nine so i call staples i'm like hey where's my scripts i'm panicking because i'm doing all other stuff and they're like Oh I don't know A courier picked it up I said okay Can you like track that? Because it said the courier Was supposed to deliver by 6

They're like no You have to call Instacart So then I call Instacart Instacart's like We can't do anything It was ordered through Staples So then I call Staples And they're like yeah

We can't do anything And so anyway Long story short I got them reprinted You had to get them reprinted Did you get your money back? I didn't get them until 9pm You never found

What happened to the first editions? No clue So there's first edition scripts out somewhere Wait wait So theyed you never didn't get them until 9pm you never found what happened to the first editions no clue so there's first edition scripts out somewhere wait wait so they didn't you didn't get your did you get your money back

no well you gotta get your money back well what is she gonna nickel and dot how much was that even it was $230 it's the principal it's the principal

it is $230 come on what is she made of money alright I have a question I wanna ask everybody conspiracy theory Barbie Heimer $130? Come on. What is she, made of money? All right, I have a question I want to ask everybody. Conspiracy theory.

Barbie Heimer is a fucking psy-op. What does that mean? Psychological operations conducted oftentimes by the military to change people's attitudes about a certain thing. You know, make them go crazy. Do you think I can make my own atom bomb at home? There's actually a famous story america me up cue the fucking eagle it's called the nuclear boy scout have you ever heard the nuclear boy scout okay so there was this guy in america i'm gonna condense it a lot because

you don't fucking care i do uh he was a boy scout who started reading about all like kind of the the machinations of making an atomic reactor and what it took to make them. And he went out and started collecting glow-in-the-dark paint, which actually had trace amounts of enriched uranium. Oh, wow. And he made a nuclear reactor in the trunk of his car. Oh, my God.

Yeah, because I've been watching. Are you trying to make a nuclear bomb? No. I don't want to accidentally do it. trunk of his car. Oh my God. Yeah. Cause I've been watching, I've been watching. Are you trying to make a nuclear bomb? No, I don't want to accidentally do it. You can't, you can't accidentally do it. Well,

why are you trying to make the enriching uranium? Yeah, that, no, that took him like months of like scraping glow in the dark paint. And I don't even think that you have enriched uranium and glow in the dark paint anymore. I don't think you have any. Oh, well it it was i've just been watching videos about oppenheimer and it feels pretty simple to make an atom bomb no you're not wrong no no when you look at it it's

like you literally need enriched governments like north korea is taking them forever oh no it's just taking forever to launch it to a warhead yeah Yeah, the ICBM stuff is the hard part. It feels like all you have to do is drop it. No, you have to condense it. You make yourself a little ball of this stuff. You go on the space needle and you drop it. No, it doesn't work that way. No, you can.

It seems like it. If you drop the ball of enriched uranium into a location, it most likely would not compress the enriched uranium far enough for it to actually explode. Because a proton needs to break. Another part of the psyop. Do you know Nolan has another brother? He has two brothers. One of which is a killer whose codename was Oppenheimer. Christopher Nolan? Wait, what? Yes. Christopher Nolan had a brother that's a murderer. Third brother. Yes.

Whose codename was Oppenheimer. Wait, what was he doing? Was he killing people with plutonium? I don't know that. I'm just giving you the information. Wait, why is it a Cyclops again? A Psy-Op. Why is it Psy-Ops again? Because it's making us think. Okay, so Barbieheimer was this thing that all

the TikTokers and the Zoomers started doing. I think it was planted there by advertising agencies who were like, wow, this is going to be a big weekend for film. But these two movies are going to compete against each other unless we start doing this crossover event, right? So they start paying people to promote Barbieheimer, right? It was cooked up in like a Don Draper, Mad Men style advertising room. Oh, like the Grimmish Shake.

Yes, and disseminated to the public. And here's the thing. Everybody's like, double feature, double feature. That's not how double features work, you fucking Philistines. When you go to a double feature, it's the same type of movie. Sci-fi double feature, horror double feature, romance double feature, because you want to get in a cut. You want to get in a groove.

It's like jam band. It's lyrical jazz, baby. But you don't go from the pastel toy commercial that is Barbie into the crushing noir fucking drama that is Oppenheimer you will not enjoy that it is breakneck no one will have any fun I don't think people are even doing it I think now no the people did do it because now this weekend as of today not including sunday is the fourth biggest opening weekend for film ever but i i like it i they both benefited from it like absolutely but they're also but they're also like titans in their own uh in their own uh right you know what i mean like both of these movies were going to be like very successful i want want to see Oppenheimer. Regardless. Oh.

I like it. It's felt. Maybe I'm getting old. Because then you're anti-strike. Because I'll tell you this. Uh-oh. Okay. They pushed back the strike by 12 days.

Why? So they could release it. Who's they? So they could get the actors. Movie studios. They could get the actors to do promos for the film. The promo that was barbie heimer no they were planning this from the beginning man you're not they started planning it right after 9-11 and it came out here okay here's what i'm gonna say here's what i'm gonna say

he's right about this the the studios absolutely he's right about this the studios absolutely were uh like basically negotiating in good faith while simultaneously knowing full well that they were inevitably going to shut down talks with like a ridiculous counter yes they were just trying to like hold out for as long as possible because Barbenheimer Weekend was going to be a massive blockbuster hit. Because it is a multi-hundred million dollar project on either side. Killian Murphy actually walked out of the premiere. Yeah, the red carpet. Yes.

Why? Because at midnight, it flipped the strike. And it was in the UK, I think, the red carpet. It was so cool. I mean, I would do anything for him. Killian Murphy is very hot. Apparently, he fucks in Oppenheimer, and I'm very's so cool I mean I would do anything for him yeah so hot so hot so hot so hot Kelly Murphy is very hot

apparently he fucks in Oppenheimer and I'm very excited I digress further okay everybody you said Titans in their own right

right Titans in their own right we have completely forgotten that one of these movies is a fucking toy tie-in

right it is the same thing as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and we look at that and we go how ridiculous I did too but we forget it's a toy tie-in right it is the same thing as teenage mutant ninja turtles and we look at that how ridiculous i did too but we forget it's toy tie-in the other one is like this sympathetic view at the guy who basically fumble fucked his way into ending life on this planet eventually no no i i think we're all gonna die from a nuclear bomb yes yeah really okay it's one of the it is Okay. You literally just talked about North Korea's launching nuclear missiles from a slingshot. As soon as they figure out ballistic missiles, we're fucked.

I don't think it's going to be North Korea. You're going to hear a bang, then a hot wave is going to hit you. And if your skin doesn't peel off your body, then the radiation is going to fry you. I just need to... Fuck. Life is too short. Yeah, take that in. Start playing with Barbies.

Get on board the PSYOP. Wait, you think we're all going to die in a nuclear explosion? I mean, there is a clock. There is like a nuclear clock. Doomsday clock. Can we stop it somehow? No! It's moving too fast to midnight. Wait, what do you mean? Okay, like, look, I mean, can we just like, are we going to, is it going to be in our lifetime?

Yes. Could happen. I mean, it's definitely worse than ever before. That's why I'm like Sarah Connor. Okay. I've seen the future. I'm trying to end the Terminator apocalypse. We just need to. So here's what I'm going to say about all of these things.

Okay. And the reason why I like it is because I'm old. You like it. And as an old guy, I feel like this is the first time where marketing campaigns have actually been able to tap into such a broad audience that back in the day,

when we were young, there would be these blockbuster titles that would come in the summer. Yeah, you go to the drive-in. And everybody would get together because the entertainment mediums were more condensed, basically. And I'm not talking like there was only three channels on the television. Like, that's not what I mean.

But still, the Internet wasn't as vast. Right. So people all would like get excited to go to the fucking movies to watch a goddamn movie that just came out. And it would be in the collective psyche for a brief moment. Yeah. You're a capitalist. And I feel like a capitalist. No, I think. damn movie that just came out and it would be in the collective psyche for a brief moment yeah we don't you're a capitalist and i feel like a capitalist no i think you're fake man because ultimately what it represents is this at one piece of time we forgot how to market to zoomers right we didn't know how to market to them they were impenetrable because they could smell out

bullshit we didn't know how to manipulate social media they were beyond it man everything was far school fuck that i'm not gonna buy your pepsi how we have grimace and barbie heimer and we've learned how to control these zoomy zooms yeah and make them buy the same way that the fucking pepsi generation was out there fighting the man sticking it to coca-cola yeah yeah these people have never fought the man anyway so listen my point is this i didn't fall there is a there is a level of there is a level of social cohesion that comes from living in a societal formation that is good uh unfortunately under a capitalist structure that social cohesion is becoming more and more atomized which i think is a problem so it makes me feel kind of good to see um everybody getting together and being like well let's have a conversation about buying into capitalism let's have a conversation about this

one particular piece of cinema straight all cinema across the board is going to reflect the the capitalist realities that we exist under it's going to normalize it that's just how media that's how the medium works hassan piker big toy commercial guy all right that's our time for this episode okay i forgot to ever sell my amc stocks so i'm happy everyone you still have amc stock you bought it you should keep the dogecoin real quick and bb oh yeah keep the tree real quick let's keep the tree before we go. And then we're going to do even worse shit to their studio behind the paywall. That's right. At Patreon.com.

No, you throw the roll. At Patreon.com slash fear. Have you guys never TP'd anything? What the fuck's going on? I thought we needed a good conspiracy theory. I like it. I love conspiracy theories. I'm not even sure if I believe it I like it. I love conspiracy theories. I'm not even sure if I believe it, but it's good content.

Yeah. It's good. Awesome. Oh, God. Are you kidding this on camera? I love people being like, Barbie's so anti-capitalist. Like, no, it's not. It's still a fucking toy commercial.

You're absolutely right about that. I think that's enough. Is it enough? Yeah. Okay. All right. Anyway, we're going to the Patreon. Behind the paywall, we're going to do even more fucked up shit to their studios.

Behind the paywall, we go. Is that okay? Yes. Behind the paywall, we go. We're going to have a big orgy right here. Big orgy. All right. Somebody rub your butt on someone's mic.

That would be funny. Happy. I'm going to fart in Ludwig's mic. I'm going to sniff Aiden's chair. That'll get him. Yeah, that'll get him. Yeah. All right.

All right. See you behind the paywall. Peace. Peace. Oh, he broke it. Oh my god, you broke it. It moved significantly. It looked like it wanted to break, but it didn't. That's not regulation.

God, if you had gone through their slide, that would have been so... I know, you would have been so i know you would have broken another rib