Fear& - Hasan Accepted Ludwig's Challenge, It Didn't End Well.. | Fear&

Episode Date: June 17, 2024

Cant believe we made it to 100 episodes, this was not supposed to go on for this long. Alright im locked in for atleast another hundred.✨ BONUS CONTENT ✨ PATREON - https://www.patreon.com/FearAnd🎧 AUDIO PLATFORMS 🎧  https://linktr.ee/fearand❤️ follow Fear&! ❤️Hasan: https://twitter.com/HasanthehunWill: https://twitter.com/TheWillNeffQT: https://twitter.com/QTCinderellaAustin: https://twitter.com/AustinontwitterMarche: https://twitter.com/MarcheFear&: https://twitter.com/FearAndPod00:00:00 - got to get the views up00:02:50 - austins little expiriment 00:06:26 - two types of covid creators00:08:21 - obituary confession 00:10:28 - austin horrid fits00:13:50 - hasan has to stay hot00:20:12 - fear& basketball match00:22:02 - caitlyn clark is getting thrashed00:27:57 - QTs presentation corner00:33:50 - we don't listen to rule #200:36:49 - hasans snacking regiment 00:40:10 - state of the zynconemy00:42:34 - im no republican but...00:45:00 - 2016 joe brandon body double00:47:44 - the pope watches nickmercs 00:51:20 - whale washed up AMU00:55:00 - the ONLY option#hasanabi #ludwig   #podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey Spotify, this is Javi. My biggest passion is music, and it's not just sounds and instruments, it's more than that to me. It's a world full of harmonies with chillers. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. This winter, take a trip to Tampa on Porter Airlines. Enjoy the warm Tampa Bay temperatures and warm Porter hospitality on your way there. All Porter fares include beer, wine, and snacks, and free fast-streaming Wi-Fi on planes with no middle seats. And your Tampa Bay vacation includes good times, relaxation, and great Gulf Coast weather.

Visit flyporter.com and actually enjoy economy. Yeah, sometimes they get real sad. Whales commit suicide. They do? Yeah. Yeah, and sometimes your mom goes to the beach. Oh, my God. Well, at least I have one. Oh! All right.

Cutie, welcome to the podcast, everybody. Cutie's going to seductively eat this banana. That's right, baby. We got to get those views up. We got to get those views up. We got to get those views up. It's Pride Month, Cutie. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Burn. You want to make it in this town, Toots? Yeah, man. You better eat that banana. You're going to eat it sideways for this? Oh, man. Oh, we just lost.

Our ratings went down. That's crazy. Yum. We asked you to do one thing, dude. Put the team on your goddamn back. This is how you respond. I actually prepped big time. Oh, me too.

Did you prep? You looked great. Thank you. I got preparation eight, Sean. He got tan. He got tan. You look so tan. Thank you.

Thank you. I got a spray tan. My Lebanese blonde. That's right. I'm really into spray tanning now. Okay. It's my thing. Also, Cutie is prepared as well.

She wanted everybody to know. I said I had preparation H on. Oh, cooling gel. I heard preparation. No, I hit a one-liner. Wait, so what is preparation H? You put it on your butthole when it's irritated for

hemorrhoids. Or just for normal irritation. Or for enjoyment. Does it feel good on your buddy? On your pussy? On your pussy. I don't have it on, but did you know after you give birth that you get really big pads

and you put aloe vera on them and then freeze them and then wear them because it's soothing your whole ripped ass vagina. I feel like you would use one of those without giving birth. I know. I feel like you just. Just to feel something. I feel like that's where you were leading.

I just want to freeze my taint to just like. Do you want to freeze our taints together on stream? Yeah. I'll freeze my taint. Let's have frozen taints. I like that. I'm going to match her freak today. Yeah, great.

Good luck. I love that. I've been a match her freak today. Great. Good luck. I've been a nasty girl. What's up, everybody? We're back with another episode of Fear Anne. We already started, and everybody's fired up. Can I say something? What's up? Yeah, maybe.

No? Maybe. Oh, my God. Let's hear it. Let's hear it. Okay. Wait. Guess the number between one and ten.

Eight. Eight? Is that? I'm'm gonna match your freak four no what's the number three three none of you could go first i guess okay i guess okay i did a little experiment this morning i came downstairs hasan walked downstairs i started my stopwatch. I wanted to time how long it would take for Hassan to talk to me. Can we guess? Oh, my God. Yes.

Yes. Did I? I'm going to go. Timer's still running. No. Well. Wait, I don't. Yeah, I don't think I talked. Okay.

Did I talk to you this morning? He doesn't even know. I don't know. After 37 minutes, he grumbled the F word under his breath and walked out of it. Okay. So, no, it was faster than I thought. Okay. He came down, and I thought for sure he was going to say something because he hasn't seen me.

So he comes down the stairs, looks me dead in the eye. Yeah. Nothing. Ooh. Okay. Nothing. I don't recall this experience. I don't even remember.

37 seconds go by where's will that's the first words he uttered to me it took him in the vicinity not hello wait that's cute no i was mad i was mad because we were late yeah because i was like it was 953 yeah i was i was upset because he was having a we're trying to... He was having a meltdown. He's like, nobody's here. I was six minutes late. No, no, I know. But normally, I'm used to us being fucking... He was so doom and gloom. Why are you doom and gloom?

Normally, well, because I... I had to give him a... I switched some stuff around because we swapped the podcast last second. We were supposed to do it yesterday morning. And then today morning, I'm also late. I'm going to be late to stream so i was just like trying to figure it out we're all swappity swapping yeah we're i had to cancel i had to get this tan earlier than i wanted to but i could i could not miss fred again tonight

oh yeah so we couldn't do tonight no because i'm gonna get pitted yeah everybody's going oh i can't believe you guys are not well i didn I didn't get invited. Who's everyone? That is true. I didn't get invited. I did get invited. No, there was no invitation. It was like the tickets went up, and it was like a free-for-all. He said he got invited. No, I got invited, yeah.

By who, Fred? Nandre. Oh, well. Okay. Yeah. All right. Nobody thinks I live here. That was a mistake.

It makes me feel better. Nandre shouldn't have invited you. That's crazy. Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, he should have known better. Who is Fred? Again. Oh, Fred again.

Yeah. Oh, that's right. What? I'm just trying to finish. Fred again is dope. He's awesome. I love the little Coliseum private party that he threw for everybody that listened to him back in 2021 when he first popped off. He makes dance music, but like what really sprung him is he made a lot of music kind of during lockdown.

And it had almost like this perfect lockdown aesthetic where like it was, it was, there's a song about losing dancing. There's a song about like being depressed and all the music videos are his friends on like FaceTime calls and Marsh, correct me if I get any of this wrong but like it's literally them just facetiming in and it's for for that period of time it's such a perfect album and everything he's made post that has been a banger and so he's just he's him

right now you're still eating that banana so he's like bo burnham during COVID, but for PDM. But also, I don't think people like re-watching Bo Burnham's stuff now. I do. Really? Well, okay. You're super mentally ill, so that's different. I feel like this is a... She's eating her banana like a totally normal person. Yeah, this is a thing that I have been

this is a theory that I've been workshopping and it brought up quite a bit. Okay. I feel like there's two different types of content that popped off and like types of content that popped off during COVID. Sure. And one that like is trapped

in the era of COVID and reminds people of how shitty covid lockdowns were oh like when they other all the celebrities called each other and sang that song oh yeah but that's not even what i'm talking about what i'm actually what i'm actually talking about is like twitch streaming right like twitch streaming obviously exploded uh during covid and i think i always have this sneaking suspicion that when people think of Twitch streaming now, they think of like all of the other associations

that they have with like being trapped inside of their fucking houses and inside of their apartments, not really knowing what the future looks like. So there's like bad vibes associated permanently with Twitch streaming. I think they think of Kai Sinat and they go fiend. Fiend. Now they do, which is good. But I think there was a

big chunk so i was gonna say there was a big period of time when i think like people would just like associate it with like lockdowns i think and then now that kai's popping off jinx is popping off thank god you know that has kind of marketed a lot better because the only thing we had going for twitch streaming post-covid was like pedophile sex monger sex trafficker gamblers running around doing insane shit you need to eat a banana sideways also are you okay grim i'm gonna shoot you this is a big you have the platform it's so skewed you need to shoot him with a ketamine dart. Yeah! Take you to Dragon.

What I was talking about is what people associate streaming with and they see fucking kick streamers and that's what they think. This is what live streamers do. That's what I was trying to say. You are just a ball of joy. Okay, I'm sorry. You guys go ahead. No.

Okay, I'm going to talk about something happened. Go ahead. I read something super happy. What's that? Well, actually, it'm sorry. You guys go ahead. No. You move the conversation. Okay, I'm going to talk about something happy. All right, go ahead. I read something super happy. What's that? Well, actually, it's sad. Sure. Oh. Well, I'm sorry.

I don't know. I thought it was happy, but it's actually sad and happy. Give me a second. Okay. Since it's Pride Month, I think this is very relevant. I was reading a story that was very touching. If it's gay, I'm out. It is gay.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's his month. 85-year-old Colonel Edward Thomas Ryan served in the United States military. He was a war veteran, so obviously Hassan's a huge fan. And he did a bunch served in the poppers served in the korean war uh lived a uh a life but uh unfortunately uh he never felt like he could be himself uh until he passed away

in his obituary he finally came out that's so sad yeah in his obituary, he says, I must tell you one more thing. I was gay all my life through grade school, through high school. I must tell you one more thing. I've been listening to Brat by Charlie XCX, and I'm gay. Yeah, so he says, I was in a loving and caring relationship with Paul Cavanro of North Greenbush. He was the love of my life. We had 25 great years together. Paul died in 1994 from a medical procedure gone wrong.

I'll be buried next to Paul. I feel better. I was worried he never got to be a sheep. I thought he was like a gay virgin. No, no, no. Oh, no. He fucked. And he died.

He was fucking for sure. He just couldn't tell anybody about it, but he came out. That's kind of your fantasy a little bit. Is being in the closet? No, not being in the closet. But you like kind of like boys who are cross, you know, boys who are a little. Yeah, I'll be honest. I think I've kind of gotten over it.

You're so bullshit. No, I believe him when he says that. We talked about it because like I kind of had the cross phase. And now I'm like, like says that. We talked about it because I kind of had the cross phase and now I'm like, like I said, if I could find an authentic Christian. Okay, we're going to... I'm going to do something

to Austin that he does not want me to do, but I'm going to have to do this right now. Speaking of phases, March, there's a photo I would like to send to you. Oh my God. I can't believe he's going to do this, but I gonna let it happen okay here's the thing here's the thing and none of you know this because this is a private correspondence oh god i can't believe he's gonna

do this that austin and i had uh i want to do a segment not just on this specifically but i want you and everyone else in the community to find some of your old fits that we yelled at you over and we're just gonna rip into it okay this is that is not fiend austin show oh my god ladies and gentlemen look at him. Okay, can you zoom out for a second? Why does it look like a Sasquatch sighting? Like gay Sasquatch. Okay, so the context behind this is I was trying on outfits and trying to look at what I look like. And... You look like you just saw a trail cam. No, you're trying...

You also look like the baggiest pants in atlanta meme like you're literally wearing the no i was going through my phone and i i looked at this outfit and i texted hasan and i said oh my god this is how i used to dress no no pull it back pull it back no no don't i mean this photo in and of itself is kind of evidence that bullying works yes yes no you bullied the fuck out of me so i want to i want to just i kind of was i was a little i weighed more too in that photo there is so much wrong with everything that's going on yes one you have the the regular old like white tee which is fine it's not even like ill-suited it's fine but the tight pants the tight black pants that you're wearing here simultaneously with the no-show socks and those ugly ass like whatever the hawk of fucking hawk of fucking sneakers like

your goddamn nurse so bad on a fucking triple shift i know it's bad it's so it's good on my cankles ass fucking shoes also you hadn't discovered gay lighting yet. No. No, this wasn't a photo that I posted. I was trying to show somebody what I was. Why is all your furniture gray? Well, because he's a millennial. He's a millennial. It's millennial gray.

I don't live there anymore. Oh, I've upgraded since then. Regardless, my point is I want I would like to go through a lot of your fits like your old fits one day we can do it for me as well let's just go through all your shitty outfits and bully you dude I've been bullied by the entire internet for the shitty outfits

so you take it out on me I'm saying that we've all gone through our little different phases of our shitty outfits I always stumble out of the Goodwill looking fly as hell. Yeah, you do look damn good. Always looking unshowered. Actually, no. Always looking showered.

You always look like you just came out of a humidor. And that I found clothes somewhere. So I just want to say thank you to all of you for the bullying. And thank you for letting me me for getting me out of the outfits that I used to wear. By the way, speaking of bullying, we got to talk about something. Hassan did a charity stream this week.

Oh, he did? He did. I was there but I was late. It was crazy. We were having tech issues. And Hassan said, I'm going to warm up. 10 minutes ago. 20 minutes go by he's pulling triggers oh he's out there hanging the goose shit 30 minutes go by okay 40 minutes go by okay the whole time his friend uh old samwise ganji over here he's going i think you're warm i think

you're pretty warm you should stop shooting pouring sweat now it was so hot in there too because like they we i i i rented out this like entire gym it was very expensive and they also tacked on a lot of extra fees including like a 900 fee for hvac right oh what and they charge for the hvac yes which is bro they try to charge me three grand just to use the parking lot like these guys are savage they were crazy they were not fucking around events baby yeah they were like oh yeah you want this gym okay here's literally you want the bathrooms to be able to flush up extra 2k yeah so jesus so i i pay the hvac fee whatever i'm like we need the hvac obviously we need ac right turns out hvac

fee is 900 but that don't get you fucking ac it just gets you the fans gets you wind yeah it gets you the capacity to open both doors so you can have a cross breeze so that's crazy 40 minutes yeah he is at a full like i'm sweating ripping big man sweat uh-huh I go, Hasan, you have so many three-pointers to shoot. If you shoot 25%, which is a pretty good percentage, you're shooting at least 4,000 three-pointers. And that's if

you're good. And he's like, no, I'm good. I'm good. Tech is still down. They put up a firewall. Can we just pause for a second? Sure, go ahead. Defend yourself. I'm not going to defend myself. I was throwing up heaters, though. Oh, for sure. Oh, for sure.

None of which counted, right? He probably nailed 150 three-pointers. Yeah, I was just like back-to-back just nailing them. And you weren't counting any of them. No. And he was like rolling out of picks. He's doing fucking spider drills. Like, everything. Yeah, when I was doing spider drills, that's when will actually force me to stop an hour i go hasan please sit down please and he's like i

just gotta do it this way dude i just gotta stay hot you know because i was anxious i was anxious i was nervous about like the last thing he said before i fully shut him down was you know i need my form to look good for the internet yeah yeah yeah which is sad because i was the last 200 shots yeah you're me fucking grandma tossing your audience that is notorious for criticizing your your form he completely knocked the wheels off because he was like, yeah, when Ludwig did it, his forearm hurt a little bit.

Ludwig is half the human being that you are. He's a tiny man. You burn more diesel when you're driving a bulldozer. Yeah. No, if I'm being critical, if I'm analyzing exactly what happened and I thought about it quite a bit,

like one, props to Lud, I have to give him that. Because 1,000 three-pointers... 1,000 three-pointers, I thought, is just literally just a regular basketball challenge. No, it's like a triathlon where you're just simply

using your wrists. I told you. We all told him. I told you. I didn't tell you. You did not tell me. Hassan, your body can't take that. Yeah, I said Hassan. I didn't tell you. You did not tell me. Hassan, your body can't take that. Yeah, I've seen you. I've shot. No, he would have been fine. He wouldn't.

You guys, he would have been fine. If not for the hour and a half of like full tilt warmup basketball he did. Yeah. Where he dehydrated himself. And then at 103 pointers he's like i'm gonna throw in two zens oh my god oh yeah i did i was like what i was zined up and he's like yeah i just gotta take the edge off i just need a little nicotine and i was like don't do that yeah yeah the zen uh partnered with the fucking. I was fasted for the first 500.

Didn't eat. I trained a day. I trained. I weight lifted the day prior and I played basketball the day prior. And then I played basketball before the event. All of that combined with how hot the facility was. Like, this isn't even me making excuses. I'm just like looking at this.

No, this is just what happened. Yeah. And the whole time, it was like watching a slow moving train crash. No, I was tuned. I tuned into it and I gave up. When I realized. As a viewer.

I gave up on the kids. I was at 200. I know. I was like, nobody's getting saved. I was like, the war's going to be over by the time he finishes this challenge. I realized that like, I should have done a lot of the proper, like active recovery,

not worked out prior, not fucking shot prior. Yeah. And I should have probably been carving up from the jump because I was just like cramping as well on top of everything else because of how hot the gym was and how little I was like hydrating myself. Yeah. So,

but we did get one of the great stream moments of all time yeah which is hasan in a chair shooting granny style three pointers yeah yeah it was the most anime thing that i've ever done though because like i was shooting through insane pain and i'm lucky because like i don't think i broke any i don't think like i i ripped any of my tendons or anything because I have actually recovered quite well. Like, I mean, I played basketball yesterday and I trained today at upper body pull before this before this podcast. And there's still a little bit of residual pain, but it's mostly it's subsided. So we're well, look, we're proud of you.

You raised over $100 thousand dollars yeah yeah so great job it worked the pictures were great on twitter you sweating did numbers i think that a lot of people that's what i'm saying your audience please cut in some of those clips including the clip of the entire stream yes scootish finally oh yeah his money ball three-pointer that's my in the tub producer by the way i didn't even know he was that's awesome he's great yeah he how are you we're done with that yeah we're done with that i want to talk about you it was cute though cutie was defending her boyfriend the entire time like she was like. I said, do the airplane. But she wasn't. She literally went, stop doing the airplane, honey. You're not an airplane.

I saw clips afterwards where you were like talking shit about me. And you were like, he's so much better. Hasan, you should know something. I will always talk shit about you. You talk shit about Ludwig too, though. I talk shit about everyone. I like doing that. Do you talk shit about Hasan too?

Not me, though. Okay. I like doing that. Do you talk shit about Hassan too? Not me though. Okay. Oh, I do. Any chance on some random interview, if I can just throw a jab at him that he'll find randomly, I just take it. Fucked up. That's messed up.

Oh, come on, guys. He does it all the time. I can't believe I hooked your boy though. I mean, I can't believe I 1v1'd your boyfriend. He was wearing socks. That was his fault. I told him to wear fucking shoes. He's like, nah, dude, you're going to be dead. And he was right socks i that was his fault i told him to wear fucking shoes he's like nah dude you're gonna be dead and he was right i was dead and i still fucking defeated

his ass that was crazy yeah yeah i can't wait for fear and basketball match oh we're supposed to play the yard aren't we i've been playing a lot of didn't we get kicked off the team no we're going okay i'm just gonna bring us us cheer uniforms and we're not going to play. It's going to be a two-way. I'm going to fuck it up. This is the team right in this room. I'm the point guard. He's in the paint and I need y'all

working that perim. I can't score. I can pass. I can pass like a motherfucker. I have good elbows. That's not part of us. We need you to take them uh-huh if they come next to me i go like this don't we're so good no no no you gotta you gotta kick we are literally the dallas mavericks and and it's like i'm you're luca i'm kairi but like neither of us are anywhere

as good and we're just gonna get fucking. Speaking of basketball, did you guys hear what happened with Kaitlyn Clark and how she did not make the women's national team? Yeah. Yeah. No? Yeah, she didn't make the women's national team. Why? Because she's having a horrible rookie season, which is totally understandable.

No, that's untrue. No, but they need it. No, she's not having a good rookie season. Yes, she is. She's probably the highest scoring rookie right now. Yeah, she's a high scoring rookie, but that doesn't know, but overall, there's better people to fill that position. I don't give a shit how she

did. She would have done numbers for the women's national team. No, no, no. Hasan phrased that poorly, ESL. Did Ashley Reese make it? She is having a good rookie season, but she's not a WNBA all-star well fuck yeah i

think it would have been great for women uh here's what i know here here's what i've listened to yeah i've listened to analysts right like because i'm not the fucking most this is not my expertise at all and from what i understand the the very honest criticism is that kaylin clark is a little bit of a turnover queen and um and the way to make up for the turnover is like if you were a a filthy shooter which she is yeah she was in the ncaa but she can be fair let's set the record straight right now she was added to the worst team in the wba that's the other part of it wide margin but that's normal like that's what happens in the top when you're and she's getting fucking hammered yeah she's getting like hard technical fouls almost every game just because she's getting

she's getting like she's getting rookie hazed plus on top of that because she's caitlin clark she's getting extra rookie hazze right and bro that one woman just came up and went yeah you know they're just like they're they're definitely like they're definitely hitting her heart i get it i i think the wmba like listen those are pro athletes they're top of their game and i think they've they've they've always kind of been, you know, made fun of and the butt of a lot of snarky jokes. And so to have this one woman come in and now all of a sudden it's like, oh, everything I've worked for my entire life is legitimate because she can shoot three pointers. That feels kind of shitty. But also, Caitlin Clark deserves her roses where it's like, yeah, she really is a phenom and she was such an exciting college player.

And it's like, yeah, we need to get these two things to work. I think I think my my understanding is that, like, inevitably, she will hone a lot of the skills that she needs to hone right now, because, like, the competition is obviously elevated to a very significant degree in the WNBA. And inevitably, she will be one of the superstars of WNBA. She currently is like, obviously someone that a lot of people are paying attention to, but as far as like her stats goes, there's, there's still more that she needs to do on like defense.

There's still more to the, she needs to do as like, they should have put her on that Olympic team. That's what I'm saying. She would have done numbers. It's been great for women's basketball now when you say numbers you're not talking about points no they're talking about viewership okay i i know this is selfish of me to say but we i want to elevate women on when women's basketball that's beautiful and natural that's what i'm saying i want women to be and and I came out and said something very brave,

and I said that women are better than basketball than men a long time ago. I think. That's very brave. Yeah. No. Okay. And I think that it's now,

this is women's time to become better than men in viewership. And I think that they really miss you. Well, Kaylin Clark did do that, literally. Huge opportunity. She did do that for the NCAA specifically. If we can't get viewership with Kaylin Clark, let's put Chapel Roan. Yeah, let's put Chaperone. Yeah, let's put her in a jersey.

Let's put Chaperone on the court. Yeah. What do you think? That'd be awesome. You want to do what I've suggested with the Freak League, but for basketball, for women's basketball. I think we need to start putting Taylor Swift, Chaperone, Madonna.

Okay. Madonna. I don't know. She's like a hater. who gives a shit okay she'll do numbers yeah she's gonna she's going to blow out both of her ankles the first time somebody crosses her up i brought you guys a tree yes speaking of elevating women what do you want to talk about cutie yeah what I got something. So, guys, I have to get serious. Wait, stall for me. Okay. Wow, you look so gorgeous.

Shut up! I like your jacket. She's pulling a bag. She has a mogul male branded tote. That is... Uh-oh. Oh, no, no, no. We're going to stay on this close.

Okay. Okay, we're gonna we're gonna stay on this close okay okay okay we're gonna stay close all right there's she's she has the tote in her hand sitting outside of our door with her diapy it's pretty funny when are you gonna get that dog spayed oh yeah yeah in a couple months hassan kai is like bleeding all over the place she's like 12 no she's what she's welcome back cutie she's a year she's like she's like 15 months and 12 and dog yeah no she's 15 months and i because she's like 12 and dog she's like because she's a big dog, she needs to... My vet recommended that I do not spay her until she's at least two so that she can avoid getting hip dysplasia. Oh, I didn't know that. Which is a major problem with big dogs like that.

Oh, good on you. So that is the reason why I haven't spayed her yet. Do you have hip dysplasia? Okay, wait a minute. Judy's doing something. She's transitioned now. What the fuck? Are those Don Quixote Doflamingo glasses?

What the fuck? Those are sick. Oh, my God. Oh, my. Those are literally Doflamingo. They were $2 on Amazon. Oh, my God. I want those glasses.

I didn't know. Those are so badass, Judy. Okay, Marsh, pull up the presentation, please. What did you get us? Batches. I'm so excited for this you guys are always educating me on things important like women's basketball okay i thought it was time that i educate you on what girly pop nation cares about okay let's go can i say something what if this isn't about brat it's not Is it about chaperone?

It's more deep cut, you bitches don't know What girlypopnation cares about this week I guarantee you I know what this is about Okay Oh yeah, I could probably answer I'm in touch with girlypopnation Let's all give our guesses as to what this is I said chaperone

You said no Will said brat She said no Should be Brat Will said Brat I said no She said no What do you think Austin? What do I think this is about? What girly pop nation? It's gotta be Taylor Swift

It's gotta be Troy Sivan performing Rush live That's definitely not what I can tell you that that's not Alright let's let You don't know shit about girly pop nation No Troy Sivan is just

Is for the gays Next slide Excuse you That is girly pop nation No Troy Sivan is just For the gays Excuse you that is girly pop nation Hello I am Cutie I am today's representative And expert Hello Cutie Next slide The house rules all boys in the room must be supportive

And they also must be quiet Can we ask when can we speak I don't know when I feel like it. Rule number two. Okay. Rule number two. Yeah, I know. Shut the fuck up.

Okay. So girls really like snacks, and you guys might be thinking you do too, but we like them more than you do. Okay. Okay. Oh. Yeah.

Can we clap? Yeah. Yeah. Rule number two. And something really important is that in this year, 2024, Beyond Better Foods LLC was created, and you guys might not know what I'm talking about, rule number two and something really important is that um in this year 2024 beyond better foods llc was created and you guys might not know what i'm talking about but i'm talking about the viral sour grapes you have any questions rule number two i know but i'm letting, I'm asking. Okay. I do. Is this like smart sweets?

No. It looks like it's like low calorie sugary snacks. It is grapes. Okay. That are frozen and splashed in lime juice and covered in citric acid. And all the girlies love them. They love them. It's only 45 calories per serving. I have noticed that women do like sour candies more than men folk.

Call me a woman the way I'm consuming sour candies every night. We like sour candies more than we like men. That's easy. It's true. That's fair. Okay. So next slide. So as you can see, the Fruit Riot sour candy grapes are very popular.

These are the Google searches over time. They are destroying us as a podcast. Oh, my God. Wow. Yeah, we don't stand a chance. We're not as popular as Fruit Riot sour candy grapes. Yeah, yeah. Wow.

These grapes, even, next slide, are way more famous than Hassan. Holy shit. That's crazy. Except for when Hassan said something controversial once in April. Not once. It seems like on multiple occasions. Yeah, recently he's kind of doing it too. I'm kind of cooking them.

Okay. What are you talking about? He's blue. Oh, I see. Did you put any of us against it? No, it wasn't close. Okay. I'm so sorry.

Yes, question. Why don't you make some sour grapes? Because why would I make them If you can buy them It's not the same Also isn't there an expression like Sour grapes Like that's a bad thing No I think this is like

Specifically Oh this is sour grapes You're being sour grapes right now. He's right. That's an expression. But this factors that out. See, notice how it says candy underneath it. Are you trying to defend that Hassan is more famous than these sour grapes?

No, the expression is used to refer to an attitude in which someone adopts a negative attitude to something because they cannot have it themselves. Sour grapes. Yeah. I have sour grapes about these sour grapes. Wait, you don't like them? Why can't you get the sour grapes? They're grapes wait you don't like why can't you get the sour grapes they're sold out everywhere that's why girly pop nation cares about it they're just grapes with citric acid frozen i don't want to make it i make everything let me buy these this

might be the easiest thing in the world to make you know what number two no they have a rule number two coding okay number two you're being a real man right now real man so they went viral on tiktok holy shit yes everybody was making these on tiktok over the last few months and they that everybody is trying these sour grapes and you watch them and they look so good and they eat them and they're like and i go to the grocery store every day to try to buy these sour grapes for the past month i really want to try them i've ordered them from i've tried instacarting. I've gone Sprouts. I've gone Albertsons.

I've gone Vons. I've gone to every store. I figured out my local Vons is delivery day. I show up on Tuesday because that's when they get their shipment. Nothing. No sour grapes. They're all gone. Now, okay.

Listen, I know rule number two. Yeah. I know. But I've seen you make triple layer cakes. I don't want to make it. That take hours and hours. These grapes, at the most, would probably take 10 minutes to make. I don't want to.

I think she wants, like, the experience of just, like, opening the bag and, like, making a TikTok, going viral. I don't want to make a TikTok. I just want to eat the sour grapes. You know what? Wait, there's no. This weekend, I'm going to make you these grapes. No! Well-

Wait, I'm going to make them. No, we're going to find you these grapes. Yo, guys, I see an opportunity here. Oh, boy. He saw TikTok. He got excited. I think- You notice one thing that all these women have in common?

They look a little sad. No, they're not men. Until they eat those grapes. Oh, they're not men. All these women have in common is they're not men. Until they eat those grapes. Oh, they're not men. All these women have in common is they're not men. We need to do this. We all have that in common.

I think we need to create a competitive brand. Man grapes. This is why I got rule number two. They're covered in protein. You eat them and it makes you manly Yeah It increases your testosterone And prevents hair loss

Normal grapes Too soft for a man's jaw Yeah that's right These frozen grapes Yeah Help you mew Yeah Don't eat those frozen grapes

Fruity Whatever the fuck those are I'm looks maxing That's right I'm covered in tobacco Men don't eat fruit right Steak flavored grapes I'm I'm sorry Rule number two Rule number two I So you know it's bad Tobacco. Men don't eat fruit, right? Steak flavored grapes.

I'm sorry. Rule number two. Rule number two. So, you know, it's bad when, oh, go back. When girly pop nation takes to Reddit, I found girls on Reddit forums being like, how do you get a hold of these grapes? Yes. Can't find anything. I befriend my local grocer.

Oh. I'm charming. Oh. I'm so charming sure i give um yeah her name definitely i won't say her name we'll call her susan i give her my phone number i said i really want to try these grapes and she said i will tell you babe and then she called me this no way shut the fuck up you and i got, so I have them? Oh my. Lots of people haven't tried them. Let's try the grapes.

Oh my God, we're trying them. They're frozen. Okay, hold on. Cutie, before I try them, I need to know what generally what people think so I can have that reaction. People love them. Oh my God. You can't get them anywhere. Right. You think people hate them and they're like, I need to go to the grocery store and taste how shitty they are.

Well, you never know. You never know. I need to know. how shitty they are you never know you never know i need no it could be it could be like that you know you know it could be it could be like that you never know only eight eight of these is 45 calories oh my god that's actually insane yeah they're great that's so healthy yeah i mean yeah oh my god what are you kidding me it's like candy my woman-owned candy snack treat thing that I eat is Smart Snacks. I'm going to be honest. I don't like candy and I don't like fruit,

but I'm going to love these. Oh, yeah. I like that it looks like a munchkin, which I like. There's a lot more covering on it than I thought. Ready, guys? Can we buy it?

Oh, no. That is so much more sour than I thought. Really? Oh, my God. No, that's really good. I feel like it's because I just drank black coffee. more sour than I thought. Really? Oh my god. No, that's really good. Oh, you know what? I think it's because I just drank black coffee. I think, I'll be honest, that may be

the best thing I've ever tasted. He's farming. You are such a fucking bitch. You're such a bitch for TikTok. Call him the F word and then it's gonna go. I like it a lot. I like it a lot. And I do love sour candy.

It's called slur for enjoying grapes. For those of you that don't know, I'm the exact opposite of Will. I have a massive sweet tooth in that regard. He hates sweet stuff because he hates fun when it comes to delectable, delightful snacks. Those are good. I love sweet stuff, and i have a massive sweet dude so you know in an effort to to not like you know take on additional calories that are

unnecessary i started not this obviously but this i could incorporate into my snacking regimen as well um this company called smart sweets which are it's like woman owned yeah women yeah women owned and um the one that i get is like they're 100 calorie bags and it has a shit ton of fiber in it so it helps you poop and i eat the the sour bear ones all right enough about your poop these are delicious yeah i i will say if i could critique critique, they're too sticky. We need some cloths. Too sticky? They make your hands sticky. Cutie, the real question though is, and I gotta be honest, let's uplift women,

you were very excited about these. And the first words I heard out of your mouth were, oh no. They're too sour for me, girly pop nation. Really? I don't like them. Just keep slamming them.

Just keep slamming them and you might like them. I don't like them. You don't like them at all? If you don't like them, leave them with me. Wait, those are Dilingus. I don't like them. They're pretty good. Keep slamming them.

I think it's because you're coming off of black coffee. Slam another. Wow, that is these are so good. Do you like sour things? Guys, this is so sad. She went on a quest

to get the sour grapes and she got it for us and we have no appreciation for them all. We slam like 15. He's talking about shitting. We're like, yeah, they're good. They're good. And she eats one and goes, oh, no.

Wait, hold on. Two grams of fat for one ounce? They're covered in sugar. Well, I know, but sugar is just carbs. Where's the fat come from? Oh, my God. I don't know. Ugh. Well, thanks so much. This is my least favorite quality of you. What?

The fact that you look at the macronutrients, and I do that as well, but you look at the macronutrients, and then you go, ugh, this has too much fat in it. It's like, just eat it, bro. Just eat it. Those are delicious. Yeah. You made a believer out of me. I don't like sweet things.

I don't like candy and i thought those were pretty darn good those are pretty good you know what i like about them they're so um sour yeah that i feel like that's a treat where i could pop one and be sassified yeah in the same way that sometimes when i eat something that's really hot i don't need to eat as much because my mouth is on fire yeah and us And us women, we love eating disorders. Yeah. So we'll just eat one and be done. I'm going to put these back in the freezer so they don't spoil.

That's a great idea. No, no, no. Don't leave right now. You're going to have to open the door and then come back in. We'll just... The beauty is we'll just do it later. I know, but she... I don't want them.

She's okay with it. I'm going to keep them. Don't worry. Hassan will eat them all the way. I'll eat them. Thank you so much for joining us. I have a manly gripe in a similar, in a similar, in a similar vein. Yeah.

Joe Brandon's America. Okay. Oh, didn't Hunter go to jail or something? That's not what I was going to talk about. Even though he is the goat, we can talk about that later. However, what I want to talk about is the market for Zins. As you guys know, I am a Zinfidel.

People's History of the United States, Howard Zin. Yeah, they call me Mary Poppins. Osama Zin Laden. It was awesome that they sponsored your charity event. I'm popping those bad boys left and right. I wish they would. Having said that zendurella like that hot zen obby now the issue is uh in the state in the nanny state of camifornia unfortunately zins are hard to come by now we already have a lot of

restrictions on the flavors for example I'll show you right here. There's a six milligram bad boy. It's chill and smooth. Those are the only two zins that you can technically legally buy. These are the only ones that you can get at gas stations. Turns out smoke shops actually order many different flavors. Yeah, I know there's other flavors. Yeah, there's other flavors.

Coffee's my favorite. And cinnamon. Cinnamon is fine. Coffee's my favorite. And cinnamon. Cinnamon is fine. Coffee's my favorite. Spearmint's probably my second. But Chilla Smooth are okay. They're fine. They're nothing to write home about.

Yeah, but where's our Tutti Frutti? Having said that, unfortunately, it seems like there's more restrictions coming from California, the nanny state, on cool stuff, fun stuff, things that we enjoy. Now the price of Zin has exploded. I got, like, when I was first getting these bad boys, it would be like four of them would be like $23, which is a lot of money, I think. It's for something that's so quickly consumed.

Now three milligrams in at the gas station i go to is 43 for four oh the lady when she was ringing it up went oh my god literally audibly gasped at the price point and i taxes i don't know if it's taxes i don't know i don't know if it's like uh you know there's a lot of demand and there's not necessarily a lot of supply for it i don't know if it's because california is increasing its restrictions on Zinn and the distribution of it, but I'm sick and tired of it. I'm sick and tired of Joe Brandon's America. That's why I'm voting for Donald Trump.

Oh, my God. That's a crazy endorsement. We got to talk about something. What? Because, listen. Hold on. I'm no Republican. No, I know.

I know what you're going to say. I'm no Republican. I know. But. I know what you're going to say. I'm no Republican. I know. But something awesome happened. Oh, yeah. Donald Trump went on and paused. I know. Oh, yeah.

I watched the incident. And for the first time in American history, something is possible. What happened? Donald Trump, as the standing president of the United States, also become the WWE heavyweight champion. Oh, my God. Can you imagine Jake Paul, money in the bank match? Yeah. Cashes it in, fighting Roman Reigns.

He goes up, splash off the top rope. One, two, all of a sudden. Ba, ba, ba, ba. Oh, my God. That's Donald's music. The president of the United States, diaper on, comes charging down the aisle. I don't believe this, folks. WrestleMania is on its feet.

The president is here. Fucking steel chair. Bang. Smash to the face. Covers Roman Reigns. One, two, three. Champion. Next day, America goes into full financial crisis. smashed to the face, covers Roman Reigns. One, two, three, champion. Next day, America goes into full financial crisis.

Everybody is going crazy. Riots across from sea to shining sea. People are eating human flesh. But we have a president, heavyweight champion. I mean, I don't know if Donaldald trump can run that's the problem well he'll move as fast he'll get a body double no no he's got to do it himself i mean he is a hall of famer he is technically a hall of famer for world for wwe i'm afraid that he's gonna win because i hate him and i was like wow he looks cool in this interview so cool i know and that's what frustrates

me and then and then the second and then the second fear comes in when you're like there is no way joe biden could conduct himself for 57 unrestricted minutes no that's what i'm saying dude i watched i watched a video of joe biden in the debate from four years ago and he looked so much younger than he did now which I didn't even think that was possible. Because he looked so old even back then. I thought it was AI. I was like, Trump didn't debate Biden in 2016. I thought it was Biden from 2016.

We thought he was old in 2020. Yeah. And now he looks, he's past old. Did you see the video of him getting lost, getting out of a car? Yes. Okay. Okay. If you think that that's's bad if you compare him to 2020 if you look at like here pull up joe biden 2016 bernie sanders hillary clinton no i remember this when he like in 2016 he's a different person yeah

completely i'm not like a conspiracy guy where it's like body doubles, lizard people, whatever. The difference is literally night and day. Yeah. Okay. This man is not the same person. Look up the, yeah, just give me, give me a couple minutes. Give me a couple seconds from that interview. Okay. And then I want to show like some recent that he's been doing here.

Let's hear what he has to say. Let's look at him. A democratic socialist. That's how he characterizes himself in sort of European terms, the democratic socialist parties in Europe. But why is she having trouble? Well, I think that...

Yeah, but can he wrestle? Bernie is speaking to a learning that is deep. I'm trying to find it. If you look up, like, I don't know, RNC Twitter, Joe Biden, it should come up.

Google all those fucking hot words. Okay. I know it's sad. The state of American politics is sad, but I do think somebody has been uniting conservatives and Democrats. And that's the Pope. Oh, yes.

I want to talk about this. The Pope just can't stop saying the F-slur. What? The Pope keeps saying the F-slur. Is he gathering sticks? Wait, before we get to the Pope, hold on, hold on. This is another great Biden moment.

This is from yesterday. Oh, no. Oh, but God damn it, Joe. Where are you going, Joe? No. Where are you going, bud? Oh, no, Joe. Oh, who is he?

Okay. Oh, no. Oh, God. Oh, no. Jesus Christ. Okay Oh no Oh god Oh no You had Georgia Maloney Fucking pull you back in My god that's Donald Trump Donald Trump with a steel chair

He just has that like Old person face all the time Now where he's always like When you get that face it it's over, bro. You can't be the president. You can't even drive a car. He couldn't even get a driver's license. It's so sad.

Why am I looking at Kenny? I'm going to vote for him. Yeah, we're weakened at Bernie's, the White House. I don't care. It's fucking devastating. I'd vote for a fucking tuna sandwich over Donald Trump. It's really bad. Speaking of the for a fucking tuna sandwich over Donald Trump. It's really bad. Speaking of the Pope, the Pope is actually hosting.

Why does he keep saying the F slur, though? Maybe he's just trying to fit in. So the Pope said the F slur came out, apologized, and then reports came out a couple days ago. He says it again. Yeah, but he watches Nick Merckx. No, wait, Dustin, no. The Pope is woke, The Pope is woke. And I have a suspicion he might even be gay.

This is the gayest thing you can do. That's what I'm saying. He keeps saying the F-slur. But the thing is, is conservative Twitter fucking loves it because they're like, yeah, F-slur. And the gays fucking love it too. What? And everybody's loving it and supporting it.

Yes. And this is why i think it's unifying i think the pope needs to keep saying the f slur i agree i think this is weird i feel like the timelines are fucking what is happening the gays love it because it's the gayest thing you could do he's saying it it's bedroom talk it's leaking that's what i'm saying no he just keeps saying like like uh like the pasta what is it fagioli or whatever but it's basically that but saying like he's saying faggotry yeah that's what he's saying he's saying faggotry which is like the most classic old petty sassy gay shit yeah

and first of all obviously like that should have been the name of this pod the entire papal structure is obviously like very gay in general. You're putting on, you know, all these like fancy clothes, you know, all the glitz and glamour looking like Elton John up there every goddamn day. But beyond that, beyond that, I think this Pope in particular is also kind of woke. Yeah. Not even kind of woke, pretty fucking woke as a matter of fact, which is why a lot of people, American Catholics have like hated him.

And they're like, Oh, the Pope is a usurper. It's just a fake Pope or whatever. That's what they've been saying. And, um, the G seven is happening in Italy right now.

That's what you guys just saw. All the seven industrial nations, uh, getting together. The Pope has invited some of the leaders and some of the comedians actually, including Chris rock and some others, uh, Stephen Colbert, I believe will be Goldberg some of the comedians actually, including Chris Rock and some others, Stephen Colbert, I believe, Goldberg,

some other comedians, and gathered all of them together along with Joe Biden and other G7 leaders to talk about the importance of comedy and the importance of smiles, and even said something along the lines of, you can make fun of God even if you would like to, as long as you are not being

harmful to others. God damn! Yeah, so the pope is fucking rocks the pope is woke and i suspect perhaps maybe gay listening to brat and his no he's listening to brat saying the f but see the concern i think he was this was i think this was a tactical f slur wow it was tactical it was intentional it was like on people reply reply on like Britney Spears' post where they're like, wear yellow if you need to be saved. Exactly. Like people were like, Pope, say it again if you're actually gay. Exactly. And I think only the gays know that he's gay.

And then I think the conservatives think he's not woke because he said the F slur. Wow. Yeah. I like that the New York Times is like writing an article every time he says the F word, though. It's pretty funny. Like Pope Francis is accused of using a homophobic slur again. There's no way Pope is listening to brat. Wait, I had to show to see what.

Oh, that's not. Is that actually? No, that's poo. That's poo crave. I've fallen for some poo craves in my day. I think the Pope is like in tune with a lot of modern culture as well, like with a lot of pop culture, if I'm not mistaken, what was the video game? There's like a story. It might not have been this, this Pope though.

It might've been the previous GTA. Well, this is a good topic. Yeah. The Pope saying the F slur. Yeah. Yeah. I love the Pope. But you know, when we look at America's collapse,

I think sometimes we also need to look at its engine. Oh, wow. And that's why this week's America Me Up, cue eagle scream. Do you have the link to the video, Marsh? That's the owl screech. In Miami, last week, a whale washed up on the beach. It was a dead?

A deceased whale. That's fucked up. I don't think alive whales make it to the beach. I don't think they do. No, they do. They kill themselves. What? Yeah, sometimes they get real sad.

Whales commit suicide. They do? Yeah. Yeah, and sometimes your mom goes to the beach. Oh, my God. Well well at least i have one oh fucking got him that was fire wait that was of respect cutie are you okay was that okay fuck was that really bad i'm sorry was that such a good one. Was that bad? I deserve that one. Cancel for that? No, that was a good one. I deserve that one for calling your mom a big wide whale. You called my mom a whale that wanted to kill herself? I did call her a very depressed big whale.

Scales are balanced. That was so, can I give you a hug? Don't touch me. Okay. That was like surprisingly fire. I'm so sorry. That was so bad. That was funny.

That was awesome. No, it was good. That was great. I can't believe you did that. I didn't know you had dog you know new friends nature's healing yeah dude i like how you said it and then did this i was it was terrifying it was like that it was like that drewski moment where he said like they eat rice and then try to like put it back in his mouth like did you guys see that oh yeah okay sorry go ahead so uh a whale wash up on the beach in miami dead whale freaking sad actually there is no like hard and fast way to dispose of a whale

it's actually very difficult yeah don't have to cut it up uh well there's many different ways of doing this they're very large and famously um sometimes whales uh sperm whales and humpback whales wash up on the beach and they called them globulars for a long time if they were like partially dissolved or eaten uh people didn't know what they were and they thought they were pieces of these giant abominations from under the sea very famously this is where the part of the myth of the kraken came i mean technically they are giant the kraken's real because they thought this was part of the myth of the Kraken came from. I mean, technically, they are giant abominations from under the sea. Because they thought this was part of a giant octopus monster. Okay.

Well, American ingenuity. 50 years ago, I believe, something like this, a whale washed up, and they disposed of it perfectly. And we actually have a clip. They've remastered the footage. And this is an amazing moment of ingenuity that I want to share with you. Oh, my God. I am not watching this. Wait.

Yes. Wait. This was in Oregon? Yes. This was in Oregon. Oh, fuck. Mars, play a video. You're burying the lead.

Oh, fuck. Yes. Oh, ads. I'm going to. This is it. It's over. Wait. This is a 47-second ad.

Oh, wait. You can skip it. There we go. Perfect. Okay. Pull this up. 47-second ad. Oh, wait, you can skip it. There we go. Okay, pull this up. You need to appreciate, because this is... The Oregon State Highway Division not only had a whale of a problem on its hands, it had a stinking whale of a problem. What to do with one 45-foot, 8-ton whale dead on arrival on the beach near Florence?

It had been so long since a whale had washed up in Lane County, nobody could remember how to get rid of one. In selecting its battle plan, the highway division decided the carcass couldn't be buried because it might soon be uncovered. It couldn't be cut up and then buried because nobody wanted to cut it up, and it couldn't be burned.

So dynamite it was, some 20 cases or a half. Dine what? Yeah, let's pause, let's pause. Well, guys. Guys, they couldn't. Didn't want to cut it up. Couldn't bury it. Let's fucking blow it up.

It was the only option. Yeah, clearly. They had an abundance of whale, and they had an abundance of dynamite. Yeah. I feel like you could recycle it. There's definitely so many better ways of disposing of dynamite. Well, guys, it's America. I mean, I know.

This is the most efficient way who is the mayor like who decided this like who makes the final call i feel like you guys are so negative on something that i'm sorry i'm so positive i think this is the best thing this would never happen in a socialist country just like it because it's oregon no oregon mentioned you're like a you're like a one of those like brazilians online it's like, oh, Brazil mentioned. Come to Brazil. Come to Brazil. Yeah.

Oregon's better than that. Oregon mentioned. Wind it back 10 seconds, and let's keep going here. Oh, my. Let's cut up an ember because nobody wanted to cut it up. Nobody wanted to. No, clearly. So dynamite it was.

You could pay someone enough, I'm sure. Or a half ton of it. Or a half tons. A long dead Pacific gray whale would be almost disintegrated by the blast and that any small pieces still around after the explosion would be taken care of by seagulls and other scavengers.

Oh, awesome. Any small pieces. Yes, plan is simple. We're going to vaporize this whale across this beach and anything left over, the gulls are going to take care of it. What kills me is the fact that they just assume

that it's going to just disintegrate. Well, it is four and a half tons of dynamite. Oh, my God. I feel like the issue here is they didn't really think about what it would do to the ecosystem, like the crater would leave behind. We're stimulating the ecosystem this is the 70s seagulls are gonna love it what about this

if you brought that up you'd get hate crime for being gay what do you mean ecosystem shut the fuck up does the dynamite make the whales meat poison are the seagulls gonna die I don't think they give a shit yeah they don't care yeah but what if they all die

well they would just breed new ones. Well, let me just tell you. That's not. Let me tell you. Cutie Cinderella. You don't have to worry about that. Let's go back to the video. Oh, no.

And standing nearby. Is this on camera? Or did they recreate it? We're at George Thornton, the highway engineer in charge of the project. Listen carefully. For his final observation. Well, I'm confident that it'll work. The only thing is we're not sure just exactly how much explosives it'll take to disintegrate this thing

so the scavengers, seagulls and crabs and whatnot can clean it up. Is there any chance it might be more than a one-day job? If there's any large chunks left and we may have to do some other cleanup possibly set another charge the dynamite was buried primarily on the leeward side of the big mammal so as most of the remains would be blown toward the sea why didn't they just cut it up and put it inside there's most of them residents who had first found the whale to be an object oh my god they're gonna get covered they're in the splash zone back a quarter of a mile away The sand dunes there were covered with spectators and landlubber newsmen, shortly to become landblubber newsmen,

with a blast blasted blubber beyond all believable bounds. I can't watch this. You will watch. Oh, you have to watch. Open your eyes. I did the grapes. Oh, it's so sick. I'm getting showered.

Listen, listen. Pause, pause. I can hear him going. What they didn't know is that large pieces of whale would be blown over a quarter mile down the beach. Oh, my God. Back to the video. Look at these chunks.

Our cameras stopped rolling immediately after the blast. The humor of the entire situation suddenly gave way to a run for survival as huge chunks of whale blubber fell everywhere. Pieces of meat passed high over our heads while others were falling at our feet. The dunes were rapidly evacuated as spectators escaped both the falling debris and the overwhelming smell. A parked car over a quarter of a mile from the blast site was the target of one large ship. The passenger compartment literally smashed. Fortunately, no human was hit as badly as the car. That's awesome. The machine was covered with small particles of dead whale.

As for the success of the effort, the seagulls who were supposed to clean things up were nowhere in sight. Why are you letting your kids... Either scared away by the explosion or kept away by the smell. That didn't really matter. The remaining chunks were of such a size that no respectable seagull would attempt to tackle... No respectable seagull.

The highway crews were back on the beach burying the remains, including a large piece of the carcass which never left the blast site. It might be concluded that should a whale ever wash ashore on Lane County again, those in charge will not only remember what to do, they'll certainly remember what not to do. Yeah. No shit. As for the seagulls, in case you missed it, the massive explosion scared them away for miles. So this is the thing.

Yeah, they changed migration patterns on that day. One thing I learned, and I've learned a lot about your American Me Up segments. Oh. The internet has ruined America. Because with the internet, they would be able to do a quick Google search and figure out why that's a bad idea. Yeah. But the world was so much more isolated and people had to discover things the normal way. Because, you know, and it's eliminated a lot of the fun that we used to have.

I'm not going to lie. I don't think you're making an anti-internet argument here. You're making a pro-internet argument. For those children, that's a formative moment. No, that was a huge... Remember when we tried to blow up a whale? Yeah, that child standing there taking a picture. Sometimes fun things

are bad ideas. He's getting it. Eagle scream. Yeah, you're right. I don't want to be a pussy here. I have two stories that I want to get to. I don't know if we should do it behind the paywall. We're already in an hour. We're doing it behind the

freaking paywall because Will's got to freaking go jerk someone off. Okay. We're doing it behind the paywall. I have to do a street fighter event. I thought that's not... You said jerk someone off. No, it's Pride Month. Will had to double suck and Will is going to go... Is that not what

going skiing means? Will is going to do a double dick suck. He's going to go jerk. Is that not what going skiing means? Will is going to do a double dick suck. He's going to do that. That's why he has to go. Will is going to be down at your local glory hole just fucking inhaling coffee. Putting that sweet mouth to work. Oh, yeah. It's weird because the rest of us know.

You don't seem to know. He's going to use these grapes as a chaser. You know what? I moved the date of this podcast to be a nice guy to all of you. I'm sorry I had a previous commitment. What's wrong with sucking dick? Yeah, why are you afraid? Are you being homophobic?

Shut up! Anyway, see you behind the paywall. I got some banger stories lined up. We're going to be getting to that at patreon.com slash fear. And that's right. See you on the next one. We'll see you guys later. I really went down a rabbit hole yesterday and it made me so sad.

About what? About cows. Don't. So sad. Oh, let's go. Do it. I was talking with Maya. Yeah.

And I. It's going to depress you. It occurred to me that cows have serious feelings. They do. They're like puppies. They're like puppies. And we just... And I just don't know if I can eat a burger again.

Well, you know what? Just limit your red meat. You don't have to get rid of it. Just limit it. If it's too hard for you. No, but I don't know. Because, like, I'm going to meet Maya's cow. I'm going to eat Maya's cow.

I'm not going to eat Maya's cow. I'm going to meeta's cow i'm gonna eat my i'm not gonna eat my ass cow i'm gonna meet maya's cow all right winnie the moo and it may change my the trajectory of my life forever winnie's have you eaten meat since i love winning i i don't eat as much red meat because of my i think i eat red meat once a month i just don't eat a lot of red meat in general except wagyu oh, I love Wagyu. You were slapping them fucking steaks at your birthday. At my birthday. You were literally going,

why didn't I get invited to your birthday party? You weren't here. You didn't even ask. I would have flown in. You wouldn't. No, you had just flown out. I think we timed it specifically so that you weren't here. Well, because Ludd and I were supposed to leave because we went to do a spa weekend,

and then we didn't leave that day. And then so he invited people like last second. Are you getting on an airplane soon? Yeah.