Fear& - Hasan Piker Is Going To Woke Prison | Fear&

Episode Date: June 1, 2026

You're telling me it's an entire month..? Visit https://drinkag1.com/FEAR to get a free Morning Person Hat and free AG1 Flavor Sampler in your Welcome Kit with your first AG1 subscription (an $82 value!) ✨WATCH THE SECOND HALF ON PATREON✨ Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/FearAnd 🎧 AUDIO PLATFORMS 🎧 🔊https://linktr.ee/fearand ❤️ follow Fear&! ❤️ Hasan: https://twitter.com/Hasanthehun Will: https://twitter.com/TheWillNeff QT: https://twitter.com/QTCinderella Austin: https://twitter.com/Austinontwitter Marche: https://twitter.com/Marche Fear&: https://twitter.com/FearAndPod 00:00:00 - Happy Pride! 00:00:39 - June 1st... 00:01:21 - a trail of gay gift giving 00:02:10 - ASDNASJNAWSJNASJDNASJDNAS HE DID IT 00:05:50 - june has been a different 00:07:53 - we cannot support the leftist movement anymore 00:11:56 - all of our viewers are also implicated in this 00:16:50 - this hypocrisy is so insane 00:18:57 - Zocdoc 00:20:24 - how austin would carry on hasans name 00:24:21 - NEW YORK ARC 2 NY2 NY2 NY2 00:27:43 - THE SCRIPT IS IN 00:34:09 - AG1 00:35:24 - any pride topics for the pride topics 00:36:31 - he texted him a picture... 00:40:00 - great job nice job muey bien 00:44:08 - this is rather embarrassing 00:47:21 - Cashapp 00:48:45 - and then they clapped 00:51:19 - hasans turn for a flight story 00:55:08 - how are you an ally 00:56:47 - accidently gay baited 01:00:00 - we all heard it queen #hasanabi #fearand #podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Get as fast as they could after Jesse called for her help. It's been too long, cowboy. Toy Story 5 is only in theaters. So that's Lily Pat. Where are you? Some sort of old man toy? She thinks you're old because you're bald, Woody. From Disney and Pixar.

Toys are for play. Tech is for everything. It's Toys versus Tech. The screen just took over. All that's happening. It's happening. On June 19th. I want to talk to you, device.

A long, toys. Turn her off. Her off. I responded. I have plastic fingers. Disney and Pixar's Toy Story 5. Only in theaters June 19th. That's just a coincidence.

Friday, get deported. Yeah. It's just a coincidence. Mom, I got you another gift of your people. You know, tacos, things that your people. Well, on Wednesday be gay, Thursday. Well, actually, you know what's weird is every day except Tuesday? Except for tacos.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of the Fear Am podcast where it is a very special That is right. Today is June 2nd, Monday, June 2nd, and it is pride. Yeah. We are celebrating the LGBTQ plus OIA plus community as represented by the flags on the table. Wait, there's two pluses? No, no, no. There's LGBTQIA plus. But, but. Yeah, it's for the, it's for the extra letters and if you're a battery.

Yeah. Didn't he say LGBTQI plus OIA plus? No, he was just reiterating myself. But anyway, it is Pride Month, and I'd love to start the episode, as we usually do during this Pride Month. I went out and got you guys some gay gifts to celebrate the month of pride. I got you a fan. Let's start with this one is for Hassan. No, no, this one's for Will.

And then this one is for Hassan. Don't worry, Marsha. I got you stuff. What? Oh, fuck! Actually, I love the kids. Yep, there you go. Jesus Christ of Nazareth?

Yep, there you go. That's fair. You can't deny it. Show yours, Hassan. Make America gay again. Oh, now hold on. Keep those open, gentlemen, because I got you some shirts. Oh, yeah.

Wait, Austin. What? Do it. We have had three segments. with gay fans over the years. No, let me administer the gifts first. Hold on. Okay.

The gay community want to watch you clack this fan. Oh, come on. Yeah. Oh! After, after, after. He finally got it. After traveling the world. After traveling the world like a gay merchant.

Yes. Finally in Puerto. Selling his gay wares everywhere. I got you guys the same shirt. Let's see who's his. This is XXL. This is for you, Hassan. Oh, thank you.

you. I am a double-like. And then this is Excel for Will. Oh, thank you. Love is love. There we go. Look at that. All right. Now, I also got, I got you some hats, okay? Will, I got you. Show me your hole. And then Hassan, I got you hung. Huh? And then Marsh, I got you.

Chupano. Wait, what? What does that mean? It means suck it in Spanish. That's an aggressive hat. Wow. There's not, dude, the funniest part is him wearing it as a straight Spanish man. It's just like a threat.

Wow, you suck it. And then Marsh, I got you some socks. It says, gay agenda. Monday, be gay. Wow. Tuesday. tacos that's crazy

that's this is you got a lot that's hold on that has nothing to do with anything that's just a coincidence

Friday get deported it's just a coincidence I got I got you another gift of your people you know tacos

things that your people Wednesday be gay Thursday Well actually you know what's weird is Every day except Tuesday Except for jar guys Mars you gotta put on the hat Chupelo Me'd suck it in Spanish

And also I just want to let Marsh can't wear that hat anywhere And for me I got The trans flag because Wait so you get yourself a tasteful pin Yeah what the hell We're wearing

Marge has to wear race Racial charged... I think my hat says gape my whole. March doesn't wear racially charged merchandise, and you just wear like a nice... I'm going to wear that later. I'm going to put that right there. Because we support the trans community here on the podcast.

And we stand with you always. Okay. And then the last thing is Oh, my God. And I got you guys a couple of coasters. I'd like you guys to want to... Oh, my God. Wait, is that a... We're going to get fucking demonetized.

Dog. You're the bottom. Dog. No. This looks like you. You can even show this. Turn around. Show.

Show it. Azzan. Do you have sexual fantasies about me? Because this doesn't look anything. Show. Show the camera. Show. We can blur it.

Shoot it. Oh, wow. We'll put that on the Patreon. I mean, I guess I have. Show. Show yours, son. I don't want to show. Show it.

Come on. It's very generous. He's a great. Christ. Happy pride, huh? What do you think? He's got that country meat. Happy pride. FDA certified. Yeah, happy pride. I'm going to be real with you. I'm not having a very happy pride. June has been a devastating month for me. Like, I mean, let me, let me start with like the closest incident that took place and then work myself back to like the worst things I do love that you're going to talk about this,

so I'm going to show up on Fox News with a hat that says, suck my whole. And March is going to be wearing the hat that says, and he also looks severely autistic with the hand socks. Hopefully, hopefully indicating to the Fox News audience that he is a homosexual Mexican. The hand socks.

Double deported. I have to wear the socks, it's really aggressive. The hand socks really take the bite out of the suck my cock at. So this is now a suspicion. Yeah. That on both instances where Austin has stayed in my house, we've had widespread power

outages. Now last time, wow. Now last time I was like, oh, it's probably like a local thing. And it actually destroyed my stream too because like the power was out. It was on a generator. Like my backup generators ran out of juice. and then my stream got fried out of nowhere, and I was like, the fuck's going on.

Because the night prior, the electricity went out in the house, and it never triggered back on in the wall outlet that charges my generators. That's so weird because his boyfriend stayed at my house, and we just smoked weed and had a great time. That is weird. Can we do a swap?

Because every time Christian's here, I have a great time. I'm the honest Christian prefers staying at my. No, he's just afraid of his heart. Well, that would indicate a preference. Why? I don't know. I don't know. You're just intimidating.

That's, you know. Anyway. So, I'm so, I'm starting to not be sure I can support the leftist movement anymore because I, I woke up this morning. And first of all, all the lights are out in the bathroom. So I was shaving in the dark. And also the shower didn't have any hot water. So I had to bathe in the same.

sink like a bird. Did the sink have hot water? No. Nothing had hot water. I know, but I don't know. And I was like, this is what socialism looks like, I think. Dog, you, I don't know what it is every time. Like, there's no electricity issues in this house until you come here and then the entire.

I just plugged in my phone and my red light mask. Okay, I genuinely think you're breaking the electricity. I don't know. I don't know what it is. Like, I'm always fine. My dad stays here. Like, I friends stay here. Like, the house is like, like,

fully occupied and it's fine, but when Austin comes here, the grid goes out. Yeah. I don't know what it is about me. Yeah, so that was the last awful thing that had taken place. Well, wasn't there a story about how your brother, like, wired part of the house and there was like exposed wires

everywhere at one point? And like, the electrician was like, you were like a day away from an house fire? Yeah, we fixed that. And I'm just saying though that could be indicative that maybe there were other problems created by your mad scientist brother. There's a saying amongst a defense contractor slash engineers slash aerospace engineers,

good enough for government work. Correct. Yeah. So I guess that's the principle that he applies when he's wiring my electric. So other than me frying the electrical grid. Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play? Is that a black eye? I woke up this morning.

What the fuck happened to you? I felt like, you know, I felt like a little bit of weight under my eye. And I don't know what the fuck was going on, but I remember waking up in the middle of the night, hearing a mosquito. No, dude. I got bit under my eye and it looks like I got a fucking fat. You got West Nile. A fat black eye. Hassan, that does not look great.

No, I, thank you. I'm very aware. We need to get that addressed. I'm... How is he going to address a fucking? Well, first things first, just on it's swollen. We need to get you some ibuprofen, which is an anti-inflammatory. You need to take three of them right now.

And then after that, we can see how the swelling goes down. And if not, we may need to remove that part of your eye. You just remove my eye. Fuck it. But yeah. So I woke up with that, and I was like, great. Days going great. And of course, this is only the fucking, what, second day of June, second day of prime month.

Yeah. Yeah. Only a couple days prior in anticipation of Pride Month, randomly, I'm in New York City. I had Elon Mo's baby mama on the stream, Ashley St. Clair. You know, we had fun. She was good content. She was funny. She was great content.

I'm a little scared of her. But anyway. But anyway, I get a voicemail. I start reading it. Like, right after my stream is over, I get a voicemail from a Fox News reporter. Right. Fox News reporter informs me that the Treasury Department has opened an investigation into me for potential OFAC violations and that I have been served a subpoena.

Yeah. But I had not been served a subpoena. And then they were asking for a comment. And before I could actually give a comment back to the Fox News reporter, that Fox News reporter, 10 minutes after that voicemail published the piece. Which means that they just published a piece as they were reaching out for a comment. All of a sudden, it's all over Fox News that, you know, I'm under federal investigation. Yeah.

I'm a dangerous, radical terrorist, a foreign asset, all of this stuff. And that's what I've been dealing with for the past couple of days. Well, I am deeply sorry for what you've had to go through personally. I Are you? I heard the news myself. And you immediately went State witness.

From Puerto Vallarta? I was. No. I was in Puerto Vallarta on the rooftop. And I got the news. And I immediately said, oh my God,

I need to claim asylum here in Mexico. What the fuck do you have to do with it? Because I'm your podcast co-host. I thought maybe, oh my God, I got to claim asylum here

in Mexico. But I thought, gay asylum. Yeah, I thought I needed to claim. All-inclusive gay five-star hotel. That's what I said. Do you know the name of the hotel? What is it? Trist.

It's an all gay. It is. Yes. Oh, that's gay is hell. Yeah, it was all gay. That's the gayest thing. It was all great. But I also, I get, I get what it means.

I've also been, I've been served as well. You've been persecuted. I got sued again by the health care company. A third time. Yes, for not paying my bill. But I'm going to fight it this time. I feel like there's varying degrees of the legal system. You going to a civil court for...

Austin tried to relate to you after being indicted by the federal government by going, and I too did not pay another bill. And I'm choosing voluntarily to go to court over. I decided I'm not doing it. And this time I'm going to fight. This time I'm standing up. This time I'm standing up because I think I have my right. So I'm with you.

I stand with you. You and I can fight this together. Wow. Yeah, that's insane that you're making the comparison between the American fascist government. Didn't you? Encroaching on First Amendment rights. Well, I think the health care industry is fascist too. Right.

I think in many ways there's a lot of similarities. You just didn't pay your health care. We're going to move on from that. But anyway. Is it part of it that they like were baited? by Twitter and just thinking that you stayed in a hotel that you definitely didn't stay, which is crazy because you filmed in the hotel almost every day. So it's so easily verifiable.

It's like super verifiable. We went with a humanitarian aid mission with like numerous organizations involved. There's like literally politicians. But the problem is if you're nothing the government hates more than humanitarian. Yeah. Especially if it's humanitarian aid being directed at a country that they're trying to start. Dude, chill. Like, we're trying to kill these people.

You're trying to give them food. I think they also really hated when you revealed that they had like done meaningful work on dementia. Because they're like, shh, don't let anybody know that our pharmaceuticals are lagging. Dude, it's kind of crazy. That part is even more insane because like, you know how there's always the old memes of like, this guy invented a car that can run on water and then he got killed? Like, that's kind of literally what's going on in Cuba where they have like, like, they've cured dementia, right? They're in like the third phase of the clinical trials in Canada.

Yeah. Which is the other crazy part of the story. I'm also a Turkish citizen, right? So if I had gone to Cuba as a Turkish citizen, like there's no restrictions. You can go wherever the fuck you want. You can do whatever the fuck you want. Same with if you're a Canadian citizen. And many Canadian citizens do go to Cuba all the time like they travel to Cuba.

It's a perfectly normal country to go to unless you're an American because the American government weirdly has decided that like this country is the most. Americans can go, which I did, which a lot of. people on the internet didn't, I saw a lot of people being really pissed that I said that I like Cuba. But I went on a student visa because I made a film in Cuba. And so even like a lot of Americans went there for, you know, study or for various purposes. And it's like there was also the thawing, like the thawing period where Obama normalized relations with Cuba where you could just like do unrestricted travel in general. But like right now, if you want to go to Cuba, you have to like go under like humanitarian aid,

journalism, which I did both. Like I have a journalism visa and also humanitarian aid. Or you have to have family. Or I think it's like promoting freedom initiatives or something. But in any case, it's really, yeah, it's like it's really,

it's just so arbitrary. Why don't you give up on the communism and have a cheeseburger? I went there and I was like, here's a dollar, sir. Remember, capitalism is great. Honestly, I kind of did a little bit of that because I went down with a backpack full of baseballs and I was just giving baseballs. Oh yeah, you were you were scouting you out. You were scouting

your dad. I was looking for a little, I was doing my own version of the blind side. I was looking for a little Cuban with a great arm and I was going to adopt them and scout him to the Yankees. Yeah, he just fucking launches it. You're like, that's, that's it. Germo, you're coming with me. Yeah. And it's so fascinating because like the rules are totally arbitrary. They're totally ridiculous. And, and, you know, they're borderline evil, the impact of the underlying evil. But outside of that, a lot of people did this thing on Twitter, as they did while we were in Cuba. They lied and they were like, oh, they're staying in a hotel that's like illegal to stay. And like when they come back to America, they're going to go to

prison fraternions and went viral. And because we didn't have fucking internet at the time, we couldn't be like, no, dog, we're not staying in that hotel. Except here's something even funnier. Nick Shirley went to Cuba and he did stay at the hotel and he's on camera. It was illegal and he filmed himself on camera at the hotel that is illegal for Americans to stay in and it's hilarious but they don't care

they don't care because it's Nick Shirley yeah they don't care um we didn't do that but everyone speculated that we did and it went viral to be honest bro if you go to jail I mean like you get Mandelified you know I don't think so I think Americans don't give a shit like you'd definitely be on a t-shirt I'll tell you that much

perhaps. I mean, I was thinking, you made T-shirts, I was thinking, I'd make a lot of money. Yeah, we would continue this podcast. I would be in solidarity. Every day. You state penitentiary calls, like, collect calls, and I could, like, tune in every on that. I'd probably move into your house. That's crazy.

Well, because I got it, I got to make sure, I got to make sure, I would take over your. You can't even get the, no, I would move into your house. You know I have a family. Yes, I know you do. would watch over them. Somebody has to be, I would watch over your family. He's gonna take your fucking family.

No, dude, he's gonna kill himself in jail. I have to, I have to watch over. I come back. I've served my family. I have to watch over your mother and father.

Hassan, I want you to know your mother cries for you every night, but I'm taking very good care of her. No. It's crazy because like I come back. Everything is millennial gray. No.

There's Christmas. It's Christmas open year round. I'm like, what the fuck happened? Just walking around with your mom. And his blue speedo. Like, come on. I got your mom to alter you tan.

Hit my back. No, no, no. But I, but I, Will, I don't feel so good. I went to Mexico. And I love that country so much. And I had such a good time. But when I came back, it's not Mexico's fault. But I just don't feel well.

Yeah. It has nothing to do with Mexico. Right, right, right, right. Nothing to do with it at all. I didn't even know why I said. But you got sick there. I don't know if I got sick there. But regardless, I need a dog.

Mexican water? No, no, no, God, the water is sure. You're saying that the Mexicans made you sink. No, they didn't. Not at all. Not at all. But I need a doctor. Well, what you need is Zoc Doc.

Okay. That's right. Zock is a free app and website that helps you find a book high quality in network doctors so you can find someone you love. Really? What if they're out of network? Wow. We're talking about booking in network appointments

with more than 150,000 providers across all 15,000. all 50 states. Whether you're looking for dermatology or whatever else was there before Mars started scrolling, you can find it on Zoc Doc. So stop putting off those doctor's appointments after Mexico and go to Zocdoc.com slash fear to find and instantly book a doctor you love today. That's ZOC, doc.com slash fear. ZOC, doc.com slash fear. But hold on, I just want to let you know, I didn't get sick from Mexico. It was just because. I was around a lot of people. Got it.

In Mexico. Got it. Nothing to do with Mexico. Right. You know, this is what I'd do is I'd increase the Piker family vacations to more than once a year. I think we would all go on a few more vacations. He's like, Will Ferrell and fucking wedding crashers. That's crazy.

Oh, Hassan. Damn you. So senseless. All right. We're going to Porto of Ireland. Oh, we miss him so much. I can't believe I have to sleep in his bed. I have to have access to his bank account so we can go to Trist with the family.

He would have a little. wanted it this way. Yeah. No, but I would watch over them and they'd be great. Thank you so much. I'm there.

I'm there. I'm good with parents. One of the things that, you can finally go to federal prison with no worries. That really sets my heart at ease. Thank you. And the podcast would be filmed every week.

Oh, that's amazing. And also, if you wanted me to stream from your setup, I'd do it. Just with my shrink. I'd cover the news. I could cover the news. That sounds great, man.

So here's the other side of the story. A lot of people, People do this thing, especially on the internet, where if they don't understand a certain concept, they get duped easily when someone frames it in a sinister manner. I think a lot of people also want to be duped. Yeah, they want to believe it. They lean into the duke. Yeah, yeah. There's definitely like a lot of people who are just like excited at this, including like liberals who just fucking hate me.

Like centrist liberals who are like, yeah, fuck around and find out. It's like you're going to prison too eventually. If I'm going to prison, you're going to prison. Like Jasmine Crockett. Yeah. That was crazy. like she's like flexing. She's like excited that I might go to jail.

Crockett. Like the Trump administration doesn't like you either, Jasmine. The fuck is wrong with you. Anyway. So the Democrats didn't either. You didn't win. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. First they came for Hamasana. Yeah. And I did not speak out because I'm Jasmine Crockett. And then they immediately came after me. And now I'm in jail too. Yeah. So but but like there are clips of us talking on the podcast where I'm like,

oh, we can like set up the logistics of like being able to go there. And they're like, see? He's like in contact with members of the Cuban government. It's like, dude, dude, like we're there to do journalism. Okay, it's normal. You made a documentary. Yeah, I talked to the fucking vice foreign minister on camera, you idiot. It's not illegal.

What are you talking about? Anyway, but they're- Should have brought more baseballs. They are, yeah, I know. Well, they're running around, you know, excited at the prospect of me going to fucking, federal prison for, you know. Because they're a little fascist. They're little teeny wee-winy.

Fashists with little teeny wee-a-tina. Anyway, I got a dip for a second. I'll be back in one moment. I have to use that. Oh, you have to shit? I thought he had prepared a segment. No, no, no. I do it.

Why don't we just, why don't we just? Is it what you're about to make in the bathroom? Wow. Okay, so. You scare me sometimes. We broke. We broke to, and then filmed a little Patreon.

So, got it, got, got it. All right. So where were we on the main? Smart. We were just closing the Cuba subpoena situation. So we're moving to a fresh topic. We moved to a fresh topic right now. Well, I... Oh, go ahead.

I have a fresh topic. Well, okay. I was going to talk about my experiences in gay porn. I don't care. You don't care. This is the gay episode, and it's all but it's been about, to this point, it's been all about you. Since what is it going to be about Austin Show?

And it's now going to be about us. Not you. What? Us. What? Speaking of... Speaking of pride. Speaking of pride, give me this hand.

Oh my God. Speaking of pride and also, what's the gayest thing you can do, vacation. Yes. I suggest we. What? Hold on. Maybe Austin, too, if he wants to come. I don't know.

We can think about it. If you feel comfortable with it. I suggest if I am allowed into the UK and then come back from the UK, we go in New York City. watch oh the New York Knicks Bing bong

fuck your life listen lay down the Knicks wait wait we've hurt the community before they were very excited

for this last New York arc so if we commit to this we have to go I will I will go are you hearing is there some is Christian free

no no no Christian can't afford to get there. We'll pay his way. I mean, not you, but we can pay. No, no, no. I've already looked at airfare and I'm ready to book. In case you guys don't know,

ladies and gentlemen, right now, New York is having what I refer to as a renaissance. Yes, it's everything else in America sucks except for New York City where everything in New York City is on the up and up. And it's kind of pissing me off a little bit.

I'll be honest. Well, we can go share in the revelry. Every time I go, the vibes are automatically fixed. Yeah. I mean, I know New York's doing well because that airfare is not cheap. Everybody wants to be in New York right now. I'm telling you.

New York Knicks swept the Cleveland Cavaliers. New York Knicks have won their last, I think 11 basketball games, 10 basketball games in a row, which is fucking crazy in the playoffs. Yeah. Incredible. I can't wait to go with you guys. Yeah. So, so I've decided. Wait, wait.

You can go. Okay. If, oh, right now in this second. What? You name me one player on the New York next. Come on, you got the real mayor of New York. Austin, they're $5,000 tickets for like nosebleed. Also, so if you're not going to.

Also, Will literally mentioned one in the group chat. I'll give you a massive hint. No. No, no, I'm not, I'm saying like Will straight up mentioned his name in the group chat last night. I literally wrote it. Yeah. Because we have a connection to a player. the Knicks and we're going to try desperately after the finals.

His name is Zora. You know what? The sixth man of the Knicks. Like Bill Murray off the bench and fucking space jam. He's sitting at the nosebleeds and his aura is so powerful. That's why he can't sit. If he sat court side, it would be over. They'd be sweeping every time.

Number 32. I'm going to be honest with you. I thought the Knicks were a baseball team. So I. Should he even be a lot of? But I want to go. Would you really want to go to a basketball game? I just want to go to, we have to feel, I have a job to do.

Okay, but like, I have a job to do. Okay, this is, you can come to New York. I'm just saying, the basketball game, I don't know if, would you be disappointed? I feel like I'd be, I feel like I'd have severe fomo if I didn't go. Okay, all right. I feel like I need to experience this with you guys. So you're going to drop like five grand. It is crazy.

It is crazy as a Knicks fan where it's like 30 years I've, waited in the dark. Like since Patrick Ewing, finally we're in the finals. And then this guy, the game is like, I feel like I'd miss out if I wasn't in Madison Square Garden. I'm sure we get cheaper tickets to that. I'm a negotiator.

We'll figure it out. No. Also, do we think, do we think the script is in? Stop. Don't do that. Don't do that. Are they trying to cut? No, don't do that.

Are they trying to cut Wemba Yama out? Because he would be. Come on. Okay. No. Nick's fan. Stop. What are you doing?

Which team would you rather play against? I would rather play against OKC. Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm saying. And they are, and I think the script is in. Oh, dude. Okay. I saw something that's actually crazy because I have been defending SGA a lot against my chat

because people are pissed. And I'm going to admit something. I'm going to admit something. The Spurs Thunder series has been. a tough watch. It's been a tough watch. It's like the memes. Like the memes have become real where you'll see,

you'll see a fucking OCC player flop. Yes. Nowhere near the other player. They just go, oh. They actually did the data on SGA. 17% of all of his shots, he ends up on the floor. Isn't that crazy?

And it's, it's higher. Like when fouled, it's actually like 56%. of time. It's crazy. When fouled. Thanks. Okay.

Okay. So you don't know this. No, I don't know what you're talking about. Okay, but you know soccer. You know soccer. Of course. I know football. So, okay.

I know football. Oh, I thought you were correcting me and being like, no, I know football. Oh. But you're talking about American football. No, no. No. No, no. I was correct.

The reason why he's talking about soccer is because they flop in soccer. Is it because I'm gay? No, no, no, no, no. Is it because I'm gay? You think soccer's a gay sport? No, you've literally told us how you were a soccer captain. Yeah, but I'm also gay. And it's the Pride episode.

Yes, and I wanted to just bring it back in to the Pride episode. But you know how there was like a rise of flopping in soccer? They're seeing that in basketball now. And right now, one of the teams is like kind of aggressively leaning into, we'll call it a new style of basketball. Right. And fans are getting really pissed. Oh, yeah.

No, fuck that. I'm angry about it. SGA has, he's Captain Hook, okay? Pretty boy, beautiful man. So good at basketball. Might not have meat, though. Is he on the Knicks? He's been out meated in the past, but we're not going to get into that.

His peanuts? Yeah. Oh. There was a skims campaign. It was controversial. Whatever, but he's a pretty boy. He's a great basketball player. Can we see it?

Incredible bag. Okay. Fantastic ball handler, great game IQ. He can always drive it up, which is exciting. Because most of the time, one of the complaints about, Modern basketballs. Everyone takes three-point shots. What the hell happened to the game I love?

So SGA actually drives it a lot. The problem is anytime he's driving the ball up and he takes a shot that is even remotely contested, he hooks his arm over the other player who draw what would normally be an offensive foul, but he actually ends up getting a defensive foul. He sells it. Oh, wow.

He sells it. And the other thing is he falls all the time, even if there's no one in front of him, He'll take an uncontested shot and then fall face flat on the ground. Right, right, right. It has happened so much that he had to address it. Did you hear about what he said? Yeah, yeah.

He said, oh, I fall on the ground on purpose so that I don't injure myself. Oh. So what he's doing is what like ballerinas do apparently. Yeah, flop. Like they learn how to fall gracefully. Yeah. But now it's time for the hero that America needs, which is the New York next, the unlikely hero. I can't wait to go to New York with you guys.

I don't know how they're pulling it off. I mean, they're great, but like... They're just clicking on all cylinders. They're playing team basketball. $5,000. Jaylen Brunson. It's a lot of money. I'm going to think about that.

But yes, I will be going to New York. And I will look forward to going to dinner. I actually had one idea for our New York trip that I would like to add. If we're actually going to do it, because I want to do it. Gay bar. I want to go to, well, sure. I want to go to my origin. I want to go to Princeton.

I would love that. Let's do it. And I want to feed you my favorite slice of pizza in America at Conte's. How far is that? From New York. No, it's an hour train. Are you kidding me? I'm on it.

It's an hour train. I'm on that train and I'm going to see your alma mater. Perspective. Very far. Oh, it's really? Okay, let's get a helicopter. Because what? A helicopter?

No. Why not? Because the train is, it's an hour. You just sit there. I am going back to the motherland this weekend. Turkey? Friday night. Fly back out.

Jersey. Wow. Because there's a rally taking place, Adam Hamawi, stud. Combat medic. went to Gaza, patching up children in Gaza, went to B. Jesus. So not one but two genocides under his belt as a doctor.

No, seriously. I mean, this, this doctor. I'm glad you added the modifier as a doctor. Mal one, two genocide. Like, this guy is a doctor with no borders. Yeah, truly. He does not appreciate borders at all. He is a doctor without borders. So he's all over the place, stud.

And, and of course, he's like anti-Israel. He's critical of Israel. And so now they're calling him of Al-Qaeda, even though he is a, listen to this, combat medic, he's a combat medic who was in the army. Yeah. And he actually saved the life of an American congresswoman, Tammy Duckworth, who doesn't have legs.

You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Oh my God, what happened to her legs? He is the one, he is the combat medic who patched her up in a hurry. What happened? She got shot up in a helicopter, I think. How did, did they just shoot directly at her legs? I don't know if it was a training accident or if it was a, you can look it up, March.

I can't remember the details now, but like, I mean, you have to, you have to understand where I'm coming from. If you're in a helicopter, how do you lose both your legs and not the rest of your body? Yeah. Tammy Duckworth. Yeah, man, I'm always reminded of the episode of Boondocks where MLK isn't assassinated and he's anti-war and they all call him a terrorist. Yeah.

I mean, but that's, that's just, you know. Yeah. I mean, I know a little bit about that. Well, personally. I'm really excited for that campaign rally. What, you want to come? I can't because it's Pride Weekend here in West Hollywood. So I will not be able to attend.

However, I will be leaving... How much is too much, you think? Hold on. Hold on. What do you mean how much is too much? Awesome. What? Do you have any pride stories from us?

Oh, I thought you'd never ask on the Pride episode. Are you kidding me? Oh, Will my summer, it's jam-packed. I know it is. I'm going from Pride to Pride to Pride to pride, to camps to pride. What was that last one? Wait, wait, wait, that doesn't matter.

How do you keep your body looking so nice? Looking so nice. Are you kidding me? I got this thing called AG1. Well, what's that? Well, let me tell you, it's a daily health drink with multivitamin, pre, and probiotics, superfoods, and antioxidants. In one singular scoop, I just throw it into my water in the morning.

Big glass of water with AG1 right in the middle of it. Wow. Mm-hmm. Let me tell you something, Will. Tell me. That next generation formula, 75 ingredients, backed by four clinical trials. Four of them.

Not one, not two, but not three, four. Yep. Or en Español, four. Late nights, long weekends, a lot of things, hard on the body, AG1 helps me keep it all together. That's right. And you could keep it together, too,

by visiting drinkag1.com slash fear to get a free morning person hat and free AG1 flavor sampler in your welcome kit. with your first AG1 subscription. That's an $82 value. Holy, oh my God,

that's a lot of money. Yes. That's drinkag1.com slash fear. I wanted to see how long we can go. I want to see how long we go before he just exhaled. That was fucking miserable. You guys talking about basketball. We were,

oh my God, we're almost at an hour. Austin, why don't we do that behind the bail? We're not. We're not even close. We don't do that. You all talk about it next week.

No, we're not even close. We're not even close. But as everybody knows, I went to Mexico. Right. Specifically. Why you say it like that? Mexico.

Mexico. I went to Mexico. I really shouldn't have gone, but I did. I went to Mexico, Puerto Vallarta, which is how you say it in Spanish. Is that right, Marsh? Mauricio. How is my accent, Maricio? Very well.

Grazie. Thank you. I went to Puerto Bayarta and I had a beautiful pride weekend in Puerto Vallarta. Right. Right. With my amigos. Did you have any, what's the name of the dish with the chips and the... Moli?

No, it's chips and salsa. It's a breakfast. Oh, chili kittles. Oh my God, chili kittles. And they had them on the menu. I texted Marcia picture. He did actually do it. He did actually do.

That's so crazy. You are, I'm sorry. Austin, no, no, no. We're going to put a pause on this for a second. You are way too well-traveled internationally to behave like a pensioner from Kansas, meeting a Mexican person, Mexican-American person for the first time. I'm proud of it. Hey, this is your people's moon, huh?

No. Hey, Marsh, guacamole. Have you ever had a type of food called guacamole? The reason I texted Marsh is I said they made fun of me for chili-killies talking about how they're going to be in Mexico. And I showed him a menu. And I was like, look, Marsh, look at these gringos. They're making fun of me.

Right? You know, I'm a gringo too, but I'm a Spanish. God forbid a white boy. Speak a little espatio. So anyway, you are Peggy here. I had a great time. I had a great time, but there was one moment during the trip where I did not have a good time. Oh, no.

I did not have a good time. Well, we went out in Puerto Vallarta. We went to the gay bars. It was fantastic. Right? My pronunciation is a market. Where were you getting? Puerto Ejarta.

Puerto Ejaro. For the people that are you. What the fuck. All right. Anyways, we went out in Puerto Vallarta. All right. to a strip club. Okay.

You say it in Spanish. No say. It's strip club. See? Club of strip. Okay. All right. How do you say?

So I went to the strip club and I went out. I went to the ATM, which is right in front of the strip club. I took out some pesos. Okay. I took out some pesos. You're Mexican at the point. Right? And the.

machine was kind of broken, so I was only able to take out so many pesos. Right. So I took out, I think, 500, 600 pesos. Right. And it was 100 pesos to get in the door, and I had a few friends, and they didn't have any pesos, so I had to pay for them, right? So there goes 400 pesos. I only have 200 left.

And I'm in the strip club, you know, having a good time. I see these guys, they're dancing, and I'm like, I'm going to tip them. So I, in Mexico, I'm like, damn, so I go tip the stripper. He takes, I'm not, and then I start to walk away. He grabs me and then I got to fucking jerk him off for a little bit. And I was like, damn, this is crazy. Wait, wait, pause, back it up. What?

Okay, you acted like that was like saying peace be with you at a church. No. Oh, so I looked over and I said, I had to jerk him off a bit. What do you mean you had to jerk him off a bit? I gave him pesos and then he came and grabbed my hand and he said, no, you get more for that. So then he, so I was like, okay, I guess. So he did not. enjoy that you.

No, that's not, that's not the part where I enjoy it. This is a part of the... Wait, hold on now. But you dutifully tugged on his penis like, oh, geez, I guess. Yeah, of course.

If we're gonna order a dessert from the table. Yeah, and then I said, you know, and then I said, Grasias, Mucha Gusto, and then I moved on, right? And then I... Was he hard?

He got, he was getting hard when I was, you know, anyway. But regardless, I moved past that point. What the fuck? I moved past that point in every 30 minutes. You did move past that point.

Hold on. Very quick. But every 30. minutes. Sure, sure, sure, sure. One of the performers comes down and does a show for everybody. Right, right? And you were out of pesos. Well, this guy comes down and he does a performance, you know, and he's a good looking guy, not my type, not my type, but he does a performance. He comes from the thing, from the balcony, comes down, strips, does the whole thing, dick comes out, huge dick. I'm like, you know, great job, nice job.

Mo bien. And anyways, I don't have any more money. And so, but then he comes around and he starts accosting me in Spanish for not tipping. And nobody else is tipping. Nobody tips him. And I don't have any money. And he's yelling at me in Spanish. And I, I don't know what he's saying, but I, wait, I don't, I'm confused.

you speak. I know, but he's speaking very quickly and very angrily. Was it like a regional dialect? And so, well, no, so he was, he was yelling at me.

You should have, he was screaming something about Spanish. What are you trying to say back to him? Well, can you play it back? Yeah, so he was yelling at me. He was yelling at me.

He's like, and I was, it was broken, but I could piece it together. He's like, you need, you came in here, you need to tip.

And I finally got pissed. I was like, no tango de nero. No tango de de nero. No tango de de de nero, seor. Right. And he's like, you didn't, you tipped your, you, you, you come in here.

You tip the other dancers. No, he said you didn't tip anybody. I said, see, see. I tipped. And he's like, Kian. I was like, Roja, the one with the fucking red underwear. Yeah. And I was having this broken Spanish fight with this Mexican stripper.

And everybody was watching us, but I couldn't, I was so mad, but I couldn't articulate what I was saying. So I was like, I'm like, Abla con others. I speak with someone else. I don't have money. I don't have money. No, I have no more. And then he pointed to my necklace and he said, Tien is de Niro.

He said, give me the necklace. No. He said, you have money. Yes. I said, no, I don't have cash. I don't have cash. And it was very frustrating. But you know what's fucked up?

Is Luscious was there right next to me. And she speaks fluent Spanish. And she was just letting you drown. She was just letting you drown. She was letting me go. go. Wow. Yes. In fact, yeah, my white friend also spoke fluent Spanish and both them were just let me go. They were both letting you drown. Just let me go at the stripper. Maybe because they were just confident in your skills in Abla Español because you were so good at it. Well, turns out

I need to practice more because I didn't have the words because I didn't have the words to talk. But I got accosted by a stripper because I didn't have enough money to tip him. Wow. And you know what? I don't regret it. The motherfucker was straight. Why? Because his dick didn't get hard or something? How do you...

You know, I don't know. But I'm pretty certain. Oh, because you're just saying a gay man would have never done something. I just don't... Or are you saying that because you gave him a tug and he only went half chub and he didn't go... No, that wasn't the guy I jerked off. Oh, I thought... You're missing...

You're mixing up the gay men. What, do all gay men seem like to you? Isn't the way he told this story? No, no. It was definitely a different guy. Oh, okay. I was wrong. So anyway, I did that, but I had a great time.

I was sunbathing. It was 96 degrees. 100% humidity. What? Yeah, really, really hot, sweating the entire time. But I just had a great time. Went to drag brunch at the hotel. I just had the time of my life.

That's great. Yeah, I, and I almost, and this is rather embarrassing. I have to tell, this is one of the most embarrassing things that's ever happened to me. Sure. Christian and I, we check out of the hotel. For some reason, I think my flight's at 3 o'clock. For some reason, I don't know why. Check out of the hotel.

We're like, well, let's get some breakfast, and then I'll look at the thing and see what time my flight is. And we go next door to a place called Cocos. is a paeis that has a day and other things

and we sit down I order some coffee and I look at the phone this is 1159 I look at my flight my flight's at 120 p.m. The airport is

30 minutes away yeah okay inmediatamente I panic oh my God yeah I panic immediately

and of course the server doesn't speak English communicate in Spanish that I need my check and I need to pay Aura. Right? Yeah. So I paid enmediatemente and I went right next door, grabbed our bags. I said, I need a taxi quickly. I need a taxi quickly. I call an Uber. The Uber's not going to get there for another 10 minutes. The taxi, by the time we get a taxi,

it's 12-12. Ooh. International flight. Yeah. Cooked. Puerto Vallarta. No flights for the next two days. Wow. Okay. I tell the tax. taxi driver, Rapido, por favor, right? Al airport, but safe.

But I'm not, I couldn't, I don't know the English word or Spanish word for safe, so he just heard. So he just heard fast and dangerous. That's all he heard. 12, 12, 30 minute drive. The guy is fucking zooming down cobblestone road. Yeah. Right?

I'm on my phone. No flights available. I call Southwest Airlines and I say, hey, we're on our way to the airport. Please hold the plane for us. Right? They said, no. No, no.

They said, we're going to do the best we can. We called ahead. So I get up to the airport, 1245. I get to the front. And I don't know what I was thinking. I was thinking maybe I should bring some extra cash just in case, you know, I could, I don't know. I thought maybe I could bribe your way through like Saigon.

Yeah, but I don't know. I didn't because I was like, that could be, I could backfire. That could be seen as offensive. Yes. So I didn't do it. I tip the TSA guy. Started to jerk him off. He didn't understand.

Okay. To be fair, I don't think that would have been perceived as inappropriate at all. That definitely would have worked. Really? In Mexico? Marge and I've been like, I've literally...

Carefully, you don't want to get federally indicted. I've been fucking, you know, I've been victim to Mexican border police. Yeah. And we almost got victimized again on our way back from Cuba.

Yeah. We transited through Mexico, like literally, just a couple hours. I'm going to be honest, I have the white facial composition that allows me to bribe.

Yeah. Oh. People don't get offended when I offer to bribe. Yeah. You know what I mean? They literally, they'll hold you if you have electronics.

Yeah. Because they have a real tax. But they just... I thought they were going to confiscate my red light mask, but they didn't. Thank God. Austin Show, what's your favorite payment app?

Oh, it's cash app. Really? Yes. Why do you like it so much? Well, it's just safe to send and receive money. I hate when I save and save and send my money dangerously. I don't want to do that anymore. I like that they made me a little credit card.

Yeah, you like that? Yeah, you can customize it. Mine's glow in the dark. Yeah, I put my face on it. Oh, wow, somebody knows it's your card. It's right. Nobody has any questions. Wow, that's great.

That's right. But I was sick and tired of sending money and getting all these hidden fees, but there's none of that. I went to a Sabrina Carpenter concert. Oh. Yeah, and I didn't buy the tickets. And so I sent the money to the person that did via cash-up. Wow, that's so convenient and helpful.

That's right. No, that's right. New cash-up customers, which could be you, can earn $10 if they use code Cash App 10 in their profile at sign-up and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. That's a lot of days. Wow. Do terms apply? Yes, they do. Cash app is a financial services platform, not a bank.

Bank banking services provided by Cash-Ops bank partners. Pre-paid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, Cashab Visa, Debit Flex card issued by Sutton Bank, member FDICC, and a pursuant to license. from BC USA. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepay card, Sutton Debit Flex card, and Bank Gork debit flex card.

Cash app, green features, savings, direct deposit, roundups, overdaft coverage and discounts for whatever by cash app a block ink, brand visit Cash App Dat app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. So I,

well, you were losing me. I didn't have any cash to, to bribe with because I, I spent it all on the stripper. On this tripper, right. Anyway, I get to the front and she said, Diosmio,

you're very late. Very late. You're 25 minutes past the cutoff. I said, for favor, I need to get home. And she said, let me call my supervisor.

Checking luggage. Wait, so you were 25 minutes past the cutoff? Cut off to check luggage. How did she swing that? I said, for favor. My mom.

I have a family in the States. My family. And I have a podcast. Connoces, you know, Konosis Hassan Piker. Oh. Yes.

Name dropped his son. Did it work? Yes. I said he came through Mexico recently. That's right. And he paid a very big bribe for his electronics. No, no, we didn't. We didn't.

We let us go. They saw that we had press badges. So anyway, she says, let me call the supervisor. She's talking to the supervisor. I'm like, oh, shit. I don't think it's going well. Turns out it was going very well. I just didn't understand what she was saying.

And she says, we're going to make an exception. Wow. And we're going to take your bags. She fucking tags them. And she says, gorele. And I said, okay, so we ran. Boom, boom, dodging, weaving. And we made it on the plane.

We were the last people on the plane. I boarded the flight at 1.1.12. People were clapping. Gays were cheering us on and they were running through the airport. Christian did say that was happening. And we made it. Because they were booking so hard and everybody was leaving Porto Vallarta and they're like, run, queen.

Yes. Yes. Get there, queen. So we made. made it onto the flight, and I flew Southwest Airlines all the way home. Wow. So thank you Southwest Airlines. You are not happy in spite of the accommodations, I can tell.

You know what I realized about airlines? I sat in coach, because that's the only thing Southwest has is coach. And I sat in the back. I was like in row seven. And I was like, you know what? You know what I realized is that coach is fine as long as the air conditioning's on? The air conditioning was pumping. I was like, this is a lot more comfortable because yesterday I flew first.

class. Hey, welcome to the real world, baby. I flew first class yesterday. It was a little hot, and I asked the flight time. I said, could you please turn down the temperature? And she said, yes, and she turned it down just a little bit. And I was sweating my ass off, and the flight was much more comfortable. I'm a big coach guy.

Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, great time in Mexico. I have a flight story. Oh, boy. I feel like we're past the point. No, we're not. The hour mark, aren't we?

No, we have eight minutes. Oh, never mind. My bad. I'll tell you a flight story. And Austin is involved in this as well. Oh, shit. I do? I'm flying out of JFK, American Airlines.

I get to the gate and something that I've never experienced took place. Everyone's already like ready to board. The time is now, right? The time for boarding is taking place. And out of nowhere, they say, our gate has changed. We all have to go there, including the people that are like literally at the gate. Like they're working for the airline. This happens.

I was shocked. We went to the other side. the airport. We walk over there. We're here over there. Everyone's pissed off. I was like, oh, this sucks.

There's a bunch of fans on the flight, too. I'm like talking to them and stuff. The lady, the girl that was working the counter. Did they need the fan stop and be like, man, I wish Austin was here? So the girl at the counter was looking at me.

And I was like, oh, it might be a fan, right? We're finally boarding. And she hands me another ticket. Oh. And I was like, that's strange. Fine. Whatever.

put it in my pocket, didn't even think of it, we're at the bridge. They tell us we have to get back out. That's never happened to me before. So I'm wondering, like, is this a normal thing? D-board? Yeah, they deborded because catering had not arrived on the new gate at the new gate.

Interesting. So they were like, we have to do catering. Interesting. So there was another 30 minutes. So we de-bored, so we de-bored, waiting outside. And I look at the ticket in my hand, and I see she wrote a note.

Oh, I'm a big fan, all the stuff. you find a photo if not you can tell me it's good and while i'm uh you know while we're finally boarding back on and i was like do you you know you phone take photo right now while we're boarding and she was like well no i can't right now but i'll come find you at your seat right she waited until you were asleep on the plane yeah just for the classic assa yeah yeah no um so we board pack our stuff whatever right she could comes in, a stand up, take a photo together. And her last words were, tell Austin, I said hello.

And we went away. Yes. Oh, my God. That was the best fucking story you have ever told on the podcast. I knew it was going to be a boring story, but I knew that he would. Oh, my God. Tell Austin, I said hello. Well, let me tell you, where's the camera?

All right, which one? That one right there. Hello to that American Airlines gate agent. you so much for your hard work and all of the things you have to deal with on a daily basis. Believe me, I see it. I'm with you. I stand with you. But you don't fly. I don't. I do sometimes. I fly American. You don't like America. And I hope to encounter you. You send me a DM and let me what terminal you're at. The next time I'm at JFK, I will pay you a visit. All right? I will stop by your gate. You don't like it. And send me your address. And I'll stop by your house. Just kidding.

Don't do that. Don't send me your address. You don't like American at all. You're a Delta guy. I'm a Delta guy, but I've been flying Alaska, which has the One World Alliance. And Ed Bastion's been on my shit list for the way he's been treating his customers. And I don't appreciate it. Well, it's Pride Month, ladies and gentlemen. And I just want to say, I want everybody to have a good time. Celebrate. Be who you are. Celebrate your love.

Celebrate in whatever which way you want to celebrate. Go to a parade. Yes. If you're not gay, go and support, be an ally, right? How are you an ally? Well, what do you do? Oh, I treat my queer friends like people. Yes, that's good.

Which in 2020 is sorely lacking from a lot of the populace. What do you do, Hassan, to be an ally? I don't. You're a foe? I'm a foe. You're a foe. Oh, shit. Quit rins in this joke.

listen to the gay community we appreciate you all so much you have we we've still have more time what we have four minutes i know i was saying thank you oh oh oh keep going keep going i thought you were closing are you are you are you coaching my my gay thank you no no go do your gay thank you i was going to say thank you so much for welcoming yes a majority straight podcast into your hearts we appreciate you bringing us in and allowing us to entertain you yes and we hope to be good allies to you in the future. You've been great, both of you've been great allies, and I just want to let you know,

I'm going to prepare you for something. And I'm unapologetic about it. I'm going to be really gay this month. Austin, you're really gay every month. I'm wearing a hat that says, show my hole. Show me your whole. That's right. And his hat says,

which means suck it in Spanish. And I knew that because I was just, I was just in Puerto Vallasta. So you're doing, like, every June going forward. You're going to travel to every problem. Well, this is my schedule. So I did Puerto Vallata, right? Next week is West Hollywood Pride.

Sure. Then I'm going to do Chicago Pride. And then I'm going to take a brief two-week break. Yeah. And then I'm going to do Berlin Pride. And then I'm going to go to Auschwitz. And then I'm going to go to Amsterdam Pride. Yeah.

And then that's my finale. And I may do Atlanta Pride. I got a quick story to round out the pod. Sure. I accidentally did some gay baiting. Oh, no. I accidentally did some. What'd you do?

So my gym that I usually work out at was closed on Memorial Day. And so I went to a gym that I'm usually a conscientious objector of. John Reed. What's up? John Reed. No, just very expensive. Okay. I met.

Well. Equinox, yes. Oh, Hollywood or West Hollywood? Well, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Oh, I know which one. It's not geolocate your boy. I know which one you went to.

And I had forgotten that earlier in the day, I had put on the I heart hot dad shirt that was given to me on this very podcast. And Austin, it was like chumming shark waters. Really? Because I was new to the place. Yeah. I was fresh off two days of pickleball, so I was tanned.

Oh, yeah. I got this fucking lip duster. Oh, yeah. Lip duster. And I was looking jacked. And I had four separate men. come up and I was confused at first because they came up and they were like, I like your shirt.

Oh. And I was like, oh, thanks. Yeah. I was like, that was, what did they give you there? Yes. That's what you know. It's the elevator eyes. Yes, dude.

And I looked at my shirt and I went, oh, this is completely your fault. Yeah. It's like wearing a jock strap. Yeah. You deserved it. Yeah. No, this was my fault. It makes, and I don't know about you, but if somebody gives me attention, I feel like I have to

give them a question back. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I did this in Porta Viata. I had to be like, great form. Fuck. See, I know. I know. I was, I was trapped into gay baiting to be polite. If somebody, if somebody hits on me and comes up to me and like, oh my God, you're, you're so handsome. I go, are you kidding me? So are you. Right? And I don't know what to say. Like, what am I supposed to say? Like, in Porta Viata, I think I kissed like three or four people because they were just like, they were like, they were like kissing me. And I'm like, I don't know who you was. Just like how you jerked off the stripper. But all, if you present. I got to do it.

All the gay men were very respectful. Of course they are. I did get into a conflict with a straight man though. Uh-oh, what was that? I was doing the squats. Yeah. He was using the deadlift bar next to me.

He farted. Oh! Stinky. He did not. Heavy fart. No. He was deadlifting. But we were right now,

he was the only other guy. Yeah. And I gave him a look like, are you kidding me? Yeah. And he kind of did the... And I was like, brother. And we, no words were exchanged.

Everything was said. Yeah. Watch, I did one of these. Yeah. And he went. And I went. And he went. I went.

Like, I was angry and then there was forgiveness all in the course of a... Yeah. I mean, you know, that's my biggest fear. I mean, I've farted in the gym before. Really? Yeah, it was horrifying. I think Cassan farted just now. No?

Irish? Horrified. Do you smell a fart? A little bit of a fart. I would... I don't. I have been cheating myself since Mexico. I just, just.

Chili, killers. No, I don't know what it is. I didn't even drink the water, but for some, I'm just been going through me like lava. Anyway, I was at the gym, and I had my noise-canceling headphones in. Yeah.

And I... You ripped a fat one? I was doing leg lifts, and I farted, and I couldn't hear how loud it was because my headphones were in, and I just had to just keep going and as if nothing happened.

And I was hoping nobody else heard it. So I just had to act normal, play it cool. Yeah, kind of like the deadlift guy. Yeah, play it cool. But nobody noticed or anything like that. But yeah, no, I don't think that's gay baiting. I don't think that's gay baiting. No, I mean, I just wasn't even thinking about it.

And it was like the third guy who kind of approached me that I was like, what is? And I was like, oh, fucking. You're sure. Yeah. You're sure. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway.

Well, ladies. gentlemen, with that, we wish you a very happy Pride month. And look, this isn't the only pride episode of the year. We're going to be doing multiple. No, we're going to have a gay guest in New York without you. Well, no, I'm going to New York. No, no, no, you're fine. I'm going to New York, and I will announce that Cutie Cinderella will be back within the next few weeks. Probably next couple weeks. She will be back within the next couple weeks. Maybe not this, not this episode. Maybe not the next one's because we'll be in New York, but the one after that, Cutie Cinderella will be coming back to the Fear and podcast.

All right. We love you all. Happy Pride Month. And we'll see you behind the paywall at patreon.com slash fear and. Peace. And then I got to be like seven or eight and I was still with the four-year-olds. And she took me out of the swim lessons because I was embarrassed. Stop.

Stop. I was embarrassed. Stop. This is a clip. This is a clip. I'm sorry. Stop. What?

You took four years of swim clubs. Yes. of swim classes. Couldn't get past the first. And you cannot swim. Well, all the four-year-olds were like swimming and I was walking. Austin, you might be the only person ever to take four years of swim classes. Austin, this doesn't make sense because it's natural.

And then in high school. Like you know when you're in the uterus, like when you're a fetus, you're swimming. Well, I couldn't. I don't know what happened. Every animal on the planet knows how to swim naturally. Some of us aren't swimmers. No, but some people are. aren't swimmers, but I've never heard of someone taking four years.

And my mom, she just gave up. And then they tried again in high school. And I was mortified because my swim coach was my classmate. Was it weekly you were going? I was going weekly. I started to do an adult swim class in high school. And it was horrifying. Hey, y'all.

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