Fear& - Hasan, Will & Jeff Wittek figure out who's the new Top G (not clickbait).. | Fear&Extra Fades

Episode Date: August 15, 2022

The boys are back for another week of podcasting, this time we have Jeff Wittek on to make Hasan and Will feel emasculated. This is the first time we filmed an extra premium episode with our guest so check that out on our Patreon as well if you enjoyed the freemium ep. Topics for today include, prison life, pranks gone wrong, admiring shirtless men, bullying Marche when he's just trying his best.🌟PATREON🌟- https://www.patreon.com/FearAnd🎧 AUDIO PLATFORMS - https://linktr.ee/fearand🐥follow our guest!🐤Jeff: https://twitter.com/jeffwittekhttps://jeffwittek.com/🐤follow the boys!🐥Fear&: https://twitter.com/FearAndPodHasan: https://twitter.com/HasanthehunWill: https://twitter.com/TheWillNeffMarche: https://twitter.com/Marche Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm like so worried about my sister. You're engaged. You cannot marry a murderer. I was sick, but I am healing. Returning to W Network and STAK TV. The West Side Ripper is back. If you're not killing these people, then who is? That's what I want to know.

Starring Kaley Cuoco and Chris Messina. The only investigating I'm doing these days is who shit their pants. Killer messaged you yesterday? This is so dangerous. I gotta get out of this. Based on a true story. New season Mondays at 9 Eastern and Pacific. Only on W. Stream on Stack TV. Sorry for the confusion earlier. no no we're gonna address it don't worry okay uh all right

folks uh we got jeffrey r wittek in the building i'm just gonna read your wikipedia go for it jeffrey r wittek is an american youtuber a comedian and a podcaster he's also a fighter a lover a barber a hairstylist barber which one i would say barber barber okay barber that sounds way more masculine and cooler for some yeah i'm not the best at what you're so you're improv in the wikipedia huh yeah yeah i'm just yeah i'm adding some stuff in there and also, he's well known as being the sole creator of Jeff's Barbershop and his podcast, Jeff FM. Wow, thank you. That was nice. I'm basically you, but a little stupider.

No, you're way better looking. Two good working eyes. So you got a couple of things. And you're like a beefier version of me. You got more muscle mass. I wish I looked like you, Jeff. No, not at all. Let's even out.

Let's add each other up and divide it by two. Bro, you are so shredded. You have not. Yo, Marsh, pull up how shredded he is. Pop your shirt off. I'm not kidding. No, no, no. Right?

Come on. No, no. Pull up. What type of show is this, man? But we are going to look at your naked body right now. Fair enough. I put it on the internet a couple times. Not fully naked.

God damn. No, he's insane. He's it on the internet a couple times. Not fully naked. God damn. No, he's insane. That was to show progress. See, I'm not like an asshole douchebag. That was to show progress from my accident. What are you eating on a daily basis? Sparkling water. That's it. Ice cubes when I feel like having a little dessert.

That's so hot right now. Honestly, I don't diet at all. That's bullshit. Whatever I want, I'm just I do a lot of cardio. I enjoy cardio. I'm talking about. That's so hot right now. No, no. Honestly, I don't diet at all. I eat whatever I want. I'm just, I do a lot of cardio. I enjoy cardio. I'm sick in the head. I love to go out for a nice five mile run. Yeah?

That's ridiculous. That is crazy. You box as well. Yeah, for fun. Yeah. Are you good at it? I like to think so. You think so?

Who are you fucking up? I saw a clip where you were like yeah all jeff does is haircuts and fighting that's all he fucking does is mullets and fights yeah that's is that wrong no you're right i have a soundbite that we use a lot haircuts and street fights like i was in miami and i was just telling people to come uh get a haircut or have a street fight with one of my in honor of kimbo slice rip that's right yeah rip kimbo miami backyard boxing yeah that that man that's that's what he did too not no haircuts but a lot of street fighting what about you are you getting in the game are you gonna fight nah who's even in your

weight class i'm a lover and also all the motherfuckers in my weight class probably cook me you know what i mean bradley martin yeah i'm not fighting that fucking guys what do you wait right now what's your weight right now i currently am 255 254 i want to i'm trying to cut back down to like 230 ultimately so i can like be in tip-top shape bro you are about it's embarrassing to say you're almost 100 pounds heavier than me right now it's not embarrassing to say i need you i need about 40 pounds from you and you know i'll take that away take that off yeah that would be perfect i i don't know what the fuck would happen to me i don't know what i would look like if i was 210 though like i don't think i've ever been 210 i think last time i was 210 i was like i was in like eighth grade i like the most skinny i've ever gotten i think it was like 225 and you could like my mom called me yeah back in like uh

that's crazy like first couple years living in la my mom called me was like are you okay like is everything all right like you look like sick yeah mom's early boys yeah and i was like no mom i look fucking sick my mom always tells me i'm too skinny but you hide it well at 250 bro thank you it must be all dick you're hiding it yeah i try i try i wear baggy clothes uh you know to hide the dick yeah to hide my cock you got a 50 pound dick in there or something man no. No, dude, I'm wide. I'm a very wide person. I think that's what it is. I'm like much, much wider than the average human being. So that's like, that's most of the reason.

But enough about me and my size. Are you going to fight someone? Everyone's fighting. There's like a boxing craze. No, I got eye surgery in two months again. I got another eye surgery. And if everybody gives me the support for me recovering and if i just start boxing yeah not me no fuck that i'm like no get in there right now

i know i know i know but it's just like it's a spit in the face to everybody that cares about me you know to get in there i do want to but i think i'll just wait for everything to be because i still have metal plates in here and stuff uh-huh so you get popped or something not that i would get hit at all you know it'd probably be a flawless victory but just in case something yeah crazy happens you would duck immediately duck dive and then fucking boom it's over actually no bullshit especially if you're fighting at 150 the other people in your weight are like i would be in the creator bracket i'm not 150 i would i could cut down if i was like u was UFC weight and I was doing a 15 pound dehydration

cut overnight. I could get down to that but I'm like 165. Still, man. Who's playing Fortnite that's going to fight you at 160? I'd get somebody 5'3". Which would be awesome. You could have them three at a time.

You could do Maximus and fight him one at a time. I'm getting'm getting pumped out man you don't fuck my eye i'm getting in there it's like dude here's the thing if you fuck it up worse you still have the surgery scheduled so yeah yeah maximize it back in dude we're yeah give me a pressure we're actually working with triller we're trying to get yeah we're like trying to gas you up dude yeah definitely fight no i don't know yeah we have a big stake i don't know anything about i don't know anything about We're trying to gas you up, dude. Yeah, definitely fight. No, I don't know. Yeah, we have a big stake. I don't know anything about that shit, so I don't even fucking know. What's the other one?

The Spanish one, like Dale or something? I don't fucking know. Huevos? Oh, the one with eBay. eBay is one. That one's legit. Yeah, yeah. I mean, eBay is good people.

I don't know anybody by Triller. I've only heard bad things. Yeah, I mean, I would probably do a fight wherever if you could pick your perfect opponent who is it uh perfect opponent like a youtuber or i mean anyone abraham lincoln who do you want oh damn abraham lincoln no i wouldn't he's got a good age probably Mike would be a good one Mike would be a good opponent for me or

George Janko has been calling me out he's in my weight class probably that'd be a nice one that dude does not look like in shape in comparison

to EZ George he's actually I mean no I'll destroy him you know who I wanted to go after Austin McBroom

was somebody that I was calling out actively for a while the ace family guy right yeah because he fought before and I feel like he'd be you know good competition for me he's an athlete and I wanted and then he could take all of the earnings from the fight and not give it to you yeah that's the thing I wanted to fight for everybody that didn't get paid and like I was going to be the hero to save the day but I don't even think I would be able to get the money you know yeah no he would just be like, I was going to be the hero to save the day, but I don't even think I would be able to get the money, you know? Yeah. No, he would just be like, sorry, I spent it all. Isn't that what he did?

You don't know any of this shit. Neither do I. We're fucking, look, I'm 31. He's 32. Well, you are as well, but you're more in that space. 32, yeah. No, I hate him. I hate him.

He's so good looking. It's fucked up. Bro, we look the same. You're in Botox? What's going on? Uh, Botox. I, fuck, man. You're hitting me with the hard hitting questions already, huh? Yeah. fucking it's fucked up bro we look the same botox what's going on uh botox i fuck man you hit me with the hard-hitting questions already huh uh yeah i have done it's gonna get clipped out bro this is gonna get clipped out never in my life no no we're clipping it we're clipping it as though

the rest of this is cut the the part up to yeah i have botox so when i smashed my face in yeah so i was on the table about this yeah we don't know just open slate blank slate we don't know anything another popular youtuber tried to prank me i smashed my head in i had bad injury almost lost my eye almost died what was the prank we're doing a crazy shovel to the face frank killing never gonna see it coming dude what do you mean it was gonna be big the problem is it's gonna be a challenge yeah that's that's the problem yeah shovel challenge i fucked up because i didn't die yeah so what fuck that really ruined the video um i can't even explain the setup it was like a wakeboarding thing and one thing led to another

and next thing you know i'm swinging parallel with the earth. That was never planned, but shit happens. And yeah, I'm still here. But back to the Botox. So I'm on the operating table and they're putting me to sleep. I have anesthesia in my arm and the guy has to piece my skull back together. I had nine plates in my face.

And he's like, you want me to pull some of these wrinkles? No, so he says, listen, we have to reconstruct your face with all these plates. And I was like, do we have to do the plates? And he's like, we don't have to reconstruct your face with all these plates and I was like do we have to do the plates and he's like

we don't have to then you can just look like Mr. Potato Head for the rest of your life and I was like cool do the plates and he goes

listen I have to ask you this question because it affects the surgery have you ever gotten any Botox and I'm on the fucking table now my friends well David was in the room with me

and he's like like what are you the camera on what the fuck just about bro i'm just used to that be fire jeff say you have botox on say you have botox on it's gonna be fucking sick so i'm sitting there and i'm like he's telling the doctor reconstruct him like weird wait wait can you say that one more time can you say that one more time

the Botox one yeah we gotta get him to a different angle yeah so I had to own up to it at that time you know

Botox goes away after I think like three months or something like that but you know I was on the fucking table and life was on the line have you ever gotten Botox

that's how I felt right now when you asked me like I'm gonna fucking die if I don't tell the truth. That's crazy. That's insane, bro. So they, they registered your face.

Weren't you like, yo, like, make it better? Yeah. Yeah. Like, come on. Dude, they didn't work. You are a handsome son of a bitch.

Yeah. Thank you, guys. I needed this boost of confidence. I haven't been feeling myself lately, so this is really nice. What do you mean, dude? You're fucking shredded. Shredded? shredded bro thank you you know nobody tells me they're talented oh yeah you don't get it you don't get it enough i gotta get bonus content

get your cock out i'm gonna we're gonna suck it the double sock paywall dude so yeah that's the way it works is like we're gonna have the normal uh we're gonna have like a one hour block and then we're gonna do some more bonus content as well. Okay, great. How long are we going for? Three, four hours? No. Strap in, baby.

However long you want. But yeah, there's whatever. I mean, I don't know. And you streamed before this? Yeah, I did. I streamed for like fucking what? I did a short stream today. I don't know, like seven hours.

Did you take anybody down? No. Any internet supervillains internet super villains no no no today i had i mean trump stole some launch codes that was cool we're not no politics i'm not doing any politics on this podcast okay good because i was worried about that no i didn't tell you this but i was talking with mike and i was like fuck man hassan wants me to go on i love hassan great guy but i don't know shit about politics no this is not my field he gave up on politics I've been a criminal my whole life no I do want to talk

to you about that though because I do love that that's fucking sick and I don't mean that like ironically I mean I sold weed I wasn't a no but it doesn't matter

I've done some terrible things let's get into it you were entrepreneurial you were entrepreneurial what do you mean I mean you're a barber everybody wants weed it's easy

first of all this shit's legal that is brilliant actually you cut hair and then was there like a special like if you didn't know the guy would be like give me that extra fade i mean no you just say give me the you have weed just give me the weed motherfucker i don't know why I wanted it to be. Why the flair? Yo, give me that extra thing. I wanted it to be cool. You all right, bro? It's not like that. Who are you working for? You a fucking informant? Bro, he thought you could get the weed as like a happy ending in a massage bar.

Come on. What, do you want an eighth? What the hell's wrong with you? So, yeah, I mean, that is something I'm genuinely interested in because like you you went to jail or uh a few times no prison just jail just jail i mean that's sort of because i do talk about that it's not super political but i do talk about like um the way the prison system works i mean you are still a great example of someone who has despite of all the circumstances, an American carceral system, rehabilitated.

Unless you're like, nah, man, I'm still doing a hell of a crime. I'm still giving those extra fades. I'm doing so much crime right now. I mean, bro, I would get out of jail for selling weed and my friend would pick me up with pounds of weed in the car,

like boxes, ready to go. We didn't learn our lesson from selling weed and it's legal now. So that just pisses me off more because I've done so much time for it on multiple occasions you did not have to go to jail at all no that's you that's the point i get it like there's cash involved you're probably evading taxes you're not paying you know but do i need jail time find me you know take my shit okay but i actually had to sit and get into dangerous situations because of selling weed yeah exactly uh shouts out to joe brandon for that that's a joe biden

policy straight up he was a big advocate for the war on drugs but also now you can't make money doing it anymore because it's legal and the government runs it also also you know he fucking now i have to go full-time social media influencer. Which is why, actually, a lot of people do, like, from what I understand, people still sell it illegally. But now they're just, like, evading taxes. Weed is a gateway drug to being a social media creator. It is. Not even once, dude. You got to stop that.

That's terrible. That's way worse for your children. Look at me now. My tongue hurts from doing so many podcasts. Yeah. True. In my defense, I am stacking podcasts

because I'm going away next week, so I have to film for the next three weeks of podcasts. Were you doing another podcast before this one? No, not today. I actually had a date, and that's what I canceled.

You did not cancel your date. I canceled it. You said 7.30. So, yeah, I went on a hike, and then I said, I got to run. I got to do this podcast. It's really important. No way. I didn't think it was happening today because I thought it got canceled by Mike.

Yeah. Now, I don't know why you involved Mike in this. I appreciate it. I guess I take it as like, you know, put us both here together with like a package deal. No, no. Well, I wanted to do it with you alone but then uh i thought you would be more comfortable if mike was on too yes and no you know and i can explain you know i look i love mike he was there for me when i had to get all new friends and talk your shit talk he's a solid guy

but the guy can talk man sometimes i mean i've even seen mike repeat himself in situations when nobody even said what or asked him he just doubles down to have like a dramatic impact yeah like he'll say something prime is selling more than gatorade and did you hear what i just said prime you have no bro so he would do that we just did a bunch of podcasts together and I just get fucking outshined by him. I'm just jealous. You know, he takes those alpha brain pills, those Joe Rogan brain pills, and he just gets supercharged. It's steroids for your brain. So it's not fair.

He's got an unfair edge on me. He's limitless. He knows about politics. Exactly. He is Bradley Cooper. It's so... I need to either get on brain steroids like Mike or just fucking do my own thing, go solo for a little bit. Well, what I find particularly funny

about that situation is that Mike was the add-on, but I guess he became a producer of the podcast and chose to reschedule it without telling. It's Monday. Yeah, that's what he does. That's wild. That's what he does.

He has a way to change everything and like michael set up a lot of the trips if we're going out he's making the reservations for dinner he'll pick the airbnb i don't even bother booking shit because he can complain he likes things the way he likes it so i just let i don't give a fuck i'm very easy going if he wants to set the airbnb or reservations, or if he wants to change the podcast time, fuck it. You know, I'll just,

it's, it is what it is. So once you got, he had not even communicated that to me. He told me he texted you. He did not tell me that the podcast he had rescheduled. He said he was hung over or something, or he felt like a,

I think he's in San Diego. No, he was on his way back. Yeah. I don't know if he's here or not. He me some voice memo i mean we can listen to it let's let's see hold up let's let's i'm gonna play a i'm gonna play the voice memo for you did you not listen to it at all yet oh this one i have not listened to so this is it bro this was the cancellation no no no no let's see if you let's see if you know that was after that was 542 let's listen to. So this is it, bro. This was the cancellation. No, no, no, no. Let's see if you even mention my name. No, that was after. That was 542.

Let's listen to it. I had already rescheduled with you at this point, so it doesn't count. If this doesn't make it into the podcast, you... Bro, I love you. I texted you just to get locked in. I cannot do it tonight. And I think we're going to reschedule and do it together.

First of all, I was never never locked in so i don't feel bad you fucked up my shit bro i just can't tonight um and so i'd be happy to reschedule with you if that uh is still cool with you this is after you told me the podcast had been rescheduled by mike he told me don't worry about it i'll handle it i'm'm going to change it to Monday. Okay. And then I made plans. I haven't gone on a date in years since I had my head smashed open. But you and I had already talked about a podcast being rescheduled by Mike. I was like, I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.

I felt terrible. Look, I'm here. He was supposed to go to Austin to meet fucking Haftor Bjornsson. Yeah, the mountain. The mountain. Oh, yeah? He was going to work out with the mountain. Yeah, he was going to go work out.

So that's done now? You can't do that anymore? You will never. Shit, man. The mountain knows him. It's not my dream. It's all right. The mountain knows him.

Let's go do the podcast there. I'll go with you over there. Yeah, let's go. Is it too late? No, dude, listen. I'm glad I stayed. You're doing a great job. Yeah.

This is a banger. You're actually killing it. Yeah, you're killing it. You're actually killing it. Yeah, you're killing it. You're fucking killing it. Okay. But yeah, no. It's over because Half-Thor said you're a pussy. He did.

He was just like, you are a pussy. He's boxing now, huh? Yeah. Dude, he's so shredded. There you go. There's your weight class. It's fucking... Oh my God!

I would... Like, he would vaporize me. Yeah, he would just hit you. If he punched my fucking head one time, my head would turn into a cloud of, like, it would be mist. That 50-pound dick would fall off your body. Dude, holy fuck. I mean, god damn, dude. Oh, no.

Oh, he got shredded, huh? Yeah, he's like 6'10". He fought Eddie Hall and beat him, right? Yeah, I think that's the shot right there. Oh, there you go. Yeah, he's only, what is he like 6 10 6 11 my god just seven percent body fat it's crazy that we're the same species you know yes yeah that that is that is a wild wild thing um marsh you pulled that up way too you you pulled

away way too quick we were still i was still looking we were still ogling yeah we were still miring this is this is a dude heavy podcast for sure it is this is different than the previous episodes

are you sports fan? mostly fighting I'm more mostly fighting I used to like baseball and stuff like that but as I got older

and just got more angry I guess I just watch UFC and boxing now sure yeah so why? you a big sports fan? no well football just got more angry. I guess I just watch UFC and boxing now. Sure. Yeah. So, why?

You a big sports fan? No. Well, football. So, what were you getting at? I just can never talk. What was that a segue to? Oh, you don't like sports? Me neither.

No, I can never speak about anything vaguely sports related. What are you trying to fucking find? A hotter version of me to be famous? Yes. I'm replacing you. He mentioned he's looking for new friends with the same age. What the fuck is this? He's going to tell me where to get Botox?

Yeah. Moving in. Get the fuck out of here. I'm a giant football fan. Okay. He's a Jets fan. Yeah, yeah. We were talking about it earlier.

He like fucking will randomly duke it out on Twitter with like people with like three followers over Jets. Where are you from originally? Staten Island, New York. Okay, so you're a Jets fan. Yeah, I guess, yeah. It's in you. It's in you. It's in you.

Yankee fan, I guess. You know, I was a baseball fan growing up. Sure. He did not say he was a Jets fan. You just... I guess you have... It's like Yankees and they go with the Jets, you know. Or no, it's Mets and Jets.

Yeah. He was a fucking Jets fan. Is it Giants? What do you think about athletes taking steroids? Do you think they should bring them back? I'm all for it. 100%. Let all the baseball players i mean bring it back i saw someone that said that like a friend of mine who's like does this he's an analyst uh and he was talking about how like sorry sorry i

keep hitting that damn set down dude who rigged this up man you gotta get a little put a little that one is like uh that one is a wonky. I had a friend of mine who said that, first of all, I'm a big advocate for PEDs. I think PEDs are dope. I think people should do it. I think there should be more medical technology available to everybody. And I think that we should just drop the act.

Because right now- Hit some dingers. No, right now we act like fucking these motherfuckers aren't taking steroids. It's so strange. It's like, yeah, they are. They're just like they know

how to evade USADA and all these other fucking USADA is tough because they can come test you whenever they could wake you up in the middle of the night. That's the fighting one, right? That's the fighting one.

But I feel like that one. OK, I understand what you're saying. Let everybody fucking juice up for baseball. It's a boring sport. We want more excitement. Everybody's waiting for the home runs anyway like formula one have guidelines for it you know what i mean because like they let you juice in formula one no formula what i mean is like the engine right there's like specifications for the type of engine and like

aerodynamics that you can like get to so i'm pretty sure you can't like go above a certain i don't know if they have like horsepower limitations or not but like yeah they want to make sure the cars are like relatively even yeah so that you know you can have minor you know performance boosts here and there but like there's still there's still some level of like you know it's within the bounds of reason so that's what i suggest uh doing like biohacking or peds like you're just like you can only take this level of Anivar. You can only have so much moose testosterone shot into your body.

Yeah, when it comes to... ACH is off limits, that sort of thing. Yeah. Okay, yeah, that works. But like I said, for certain sports, if you're getting in the ring or a cage with another human and the only way that that match or whatever ends is when one person's unconscious.

You kind of don't want the other person juiced at it. True. Fair. Good points. One of my, I'd say the guy's like a mentor of mine. I just met him probably a year ago, but Michael Bisping. Oh, yeah.

UFC fighter, UFC analyst, now commentator. Really smart guy, funny guy. Was the UFC middleweight champion at one point. He won the title. He comments on the Contender Series now, right? He does UFC. He'll do main events and stuff like that. So I asked him, because he fought with one eye.

He had his eye kicked by Vitor Belfort when he was juiced out of his mind. What the fuck? They called him TRT Belfort, and he blasted him with his shinbone, and it gave him the same injury that the crane gave me. Jesus Christ. So, I mean, if his leg was, if he wasn't that juiced up, would he have blasted his eye out? I guess we'll never know, really.

It's wild that he was able to do that. Yeah. TRT, I mean. Yeah. Like, I remember that from Joe Rogan experience, like old episodes, because they used to talk about all the fucking time i don't really understand like if he's going to be able to have that advantage which technically in the minds of like people that were regulating it it's not an

advantage right because like he had to get trt right wasn't his t levels like really low or something yeah supposedly it was a doctor prescribed yeah but it's he's still probably loading up on the dose that's what i'm yeah that's what i'm saying i mean they still regulate that but like i what i'm saying is it's more fair if your opponent is on fucking on on juice like you should be able to also yeah you know what i mean yeah yeah he would have fucking if he had the steroids he would have got a hand up there quicker yeah yeah but no so that that shot right there it didn't pop his eye out he wasn't immediately blind after it was after all the surgeries that he had done and one of those surgeries just didn't go right and then he had detached his retina which i had done from a surgery too so i was terrified and I needed to talk to this guy.

And he's the one who told me, look, if you don't need to fight, don't fucking fight. You know, you have family members, people that love you. Don't even get into it. You know, it's, you know, just enjoy your life. Go the path you're going now. But yeah, he has one eye. He has a glass eye. Can you tell?

Yeah, you could tell. Up close, you could tell. Not on TV. That's crazy and when we did the podcast my desk the way my desk is set up was my bad eye at his bad eye and like just trying to talk to her i kept on like so you so you have uh like i don't know anything you have less visibility in your eye can you see out of that eye still i have some vision yeah it's just uh it's a little doubled okay. Okay, that's interesting.

That's like, so you got double vision all the time. You got used to it. Yeah, your brain will train you to get used to it, but I'm trying to fix it. So it's the placement of my eye. It's a little off. One of them is like back like a tiny little bit. It's like a millimeter. And picture if you have like two cameras and you try to match those shots.

And if one is back a little further, then you gonna have it's gonna be a little off so there's no way to fix that at this well that's why i'm getting the surgeries okay it's it's not aesthetically i'm not just trying to get better looking by getting these surgeries i'm trying to for the vision function for the vision yeah that's not what i was thinking you i you you already you already got can you improve i had a serious botox appointment in three months i'm hiding it with the surgery yeah um that's that's that's wild i didn't i didn't realize it was like that but hey look the thing about eye surgeries is like ultimately though or eye injuries like debilitating is awful but like eye patches look cool as fuck so there is that yeah what i mean yeah i i was like trying

not to wear one because i i'm not blind in that eye you know and i didn't want to jinx it but i've i've had them before i've had like you could like you could turn that l into a w like real quick yeah then all of a sudden snake solid yeah some good eye pads like yeah punish jeff wittek yeah you know what i mean look it could have been a lot worse so i'm grateful you know yeah i'll do it eye patch i'll make it cool whatever whatever you gotta do so you had the you had the injury um a lot of people in my community probably don't know about what happened do you do you mind talking about a little bit if you don't want to we don't have to yeah sure uh where should i start what do you guys want to know just well i've known you for like fucking way before you were yeah in the fucking vlog squad like i i i met you in la

nightlife yeah well we met at rails right great italian restaurant oh yeah we might even be further back yeah well even even before then though like, I, we met because your ex. Oh, okay. I didn't know your ex, but, like, she was, I think she, like, watched my Young Turks videos or something, like, way back in the fucking day. And that's how I met you. Yeah. But that was, like, super. Well, she has a type.

What? Oh, well, no. Not like that. Did you fuck my ex-girlfriend? No. Okay. Put this behind the paywall. Did you fuck his ex? Okay. We're-girlfriend no okay put this behind the paywall you fuck his ex okay we're putting it we're cutting this we're putting it behind the paywall

no no no no of course not um but yeah well when you when you sent me your number to do this i already had it saved oh really i spell your name terribly wrong hassan pike it i had pike it that's not that's not even close it's all good um but yeah no i've known you for like fucking eight years or some shit almost like it's been a very long time and i and i've seen your know me what the fuck yeah we i met yeah we i mean we weren't like super close friends or anything we're just like new of each other so i saw your your career blossom basically and i just now got enough clout to for you to reach out to do something with me no the podcast came back two episodes this is the

third this is the fucking oh yeah this is the fourth episode of the podcast okay that makes sense because i looked it up i was like do hassan's podcast i've never even seen that i thought you just do twitch streams i do do two streams and I do a podcast as well but the thing is like for me I'm always apprehensive about asking people I know to be on shows and stuff because I know how uh people view me kind of you know what I mean I I worry that like people are not going to want to come on because they're going to talk about politics or whatever bisexual what put. What? Put this behind the paywall. It's on your bisexual. No,

what happened at the Italian restaurant? I'm just going after what Tate, what Tate was calling. Oh, Angel Tate said, yeah, yeah. A bisexual Armenian genocide,

this denier. No, I just, I worry that people are not going to want to talk about politics. I was a little scared of that. Yeah. So that's the, and this is not a political podcast, which is why. I gonna tell you hassan i don't know anything i don't give

a fuck yeah i believe i know morally what's right and wrong yeah but we don't have to get into every you know yeah so but that's part of the reason why i don't usually sound like an idiot too so yeah but that was like the old podcast was mostly political and we wanted to revamp it as like a non-political one which is why i was like i'm reaching out to uh people that i know that i would love to have on to just have like normal conversations with that don't revolve around that and now this so this one's uh mostly about dicks you talk yeah dicks asses pussies all sorts of cool shit yeah that's that's more my speed i saw a clip on i think it was tiktok where it was just you guys talking about your dicks to each other and

stuff and that's what we do that's what my podcast pretty much is so perfect well i can't wait to be on it that's great yeah oh oh i thought what on the podcast. No, not on your dick. On the podcast. Yeah. We can do both. I am not actually bisexual, for the record. I am not actually bisexual. Because, like, I don't give a shit. Like, if people think I'm bi, who cares, right? No, bro.

But then people get mad. They're like, oh, you're queerbaiting. Yeah. So I don't want to fucking... Step up and just yeah that's basically i think that's the zoomer version of trying to be like come on you gotta suck a cock yeah suck one come on just one just for us you have to get uncancelled that's like the new oh my god that's it those old weed ads it's like come on you're cool man now it's like come on just one cool just one not even once dicks not even once no that's 2022 that's a that's

a girl god joke from last night she's a uh they're a trans uh a duo comedian team they're really funny and they were saying like you know it's the it's a trade offer you suck one cock you say the f word that's oh yeah yeah you suck one cock you'd be like i'm a cock sucker f word yeah and then unlocked think about that that's a good trade-off oh yeah no more no more you receive one i get one suck cock you receive f word i wonder if you got in a bad situation if you could suck your a cock out of it right if you said you said the F word, could you backtrack? I actually, I didn't say it.

Kevin Spacey. Kevin Spacey's trying to get out of being a child molester. I'm gay. By being like, I'm gay, by the way. He's like, everybody knew, bro.

What the fuck? Yeah, I had a situation in a barbershop episode we shot recently. And you know how that show is. You can't tell what's real and what's not. I've been doing it for so long,

I still don't even know what's real and what's not on it. So we asked Vinny Hacker about his sexuality. Oh, shit. That's a Zoomer audience. We're like, yo, so what's the deal? Everybody wants to know, are you gay? And he's like, I'm straight.

And then we were like, do you want to answer the question or are you saying you're straight? And he was like, what's the big deal? Even if I was, and then I got caught in a situation there. And I was like, look, I'm just the interviewer here. You know, I just need to ask you these questions. I don't even write them. You know, they're handed to me by a producer.

Yeah, just dump it directly on your producer, which is what we do as well. That guy right there. Yeah. He did this. So I was like, look, I'm not gay. All my employees are gay. I'm even gay.

And then I made out with my co-host and... He literally did it. Wow wow you did it yeah you kissed the you kissed your way out of it yeah that's the way you got behind the table he's gonna say the f word yeah you he got he got off i didn't say the f word but i got myself out of that situation still got in trouble because they're like this is queer baiting but look i did what i had to do when the time came down to it and you know we're still going we're still rocking and rolling that stuff is is completely fake no one no one fucking you don't actually get canceled it's not like a real thing people are still operating it's just the only way you could get canceled is if like people in your genuine fan base are like yeah i'm actually pissed off about this is fucked up

yeah like it's not a real thing i think i. Dude, I've been canceled more times than, like, every motherfucker that talks about cancellations 10 times over. I'm still here. You know what I mean? Yeah, because you're alive every day. Yeah. Yeah. For hours.

And I see some fucking raunchy shit sometimes, you know? And you go right into the lion's den. You have enemies you go live with. Yeah. Yeah. Ballsy shit, man. Respect, though though that's pretty gangster how you do that i think it's all right i mean it's not like it's not that brave it's not

like i'm fucking rushing into a the burning building or anything but in the online age in the online age yes there is definitely in the debate world he's the mountain boxing influencers yeah i guess i don't even like doing it i i don't like debating that much yeah because it turns into blood sport i texted you after great movie by the way yeah see guys my age yeah i like this yeah you did great i text you i was like bro you you fucking that was entertaining to watch you're the new top g did i say that yeah no i i you did i think you said something like that but it's true yeah once you own the Top G you're the Top G you should do a stream shirtless with a cigar

with the fucking glasses I can come in and just start rubbing your shoulders I think you just want to do that what? come on man it's a good bit this is the first time that we're like actually like we have a contract

with Patreon so like we have to do a like a paywalled episode for it so this is the first time we've ever done anything with a paywall on it so that's why we're constantly talking about it oh okay so this whole episode is behind a paywall no no that's what you kind of fucked up to do right

not that I give a fuck like I'll do it for free I'll do it when nobody watches it we can just save it for when we're dead I was thinking about that as well i was like we can't just like fucking do the whole episode because like what's in this for me you know yeah you get nothing technically i mean i don't care i would do it behind a paywall but me like thinking of i'm gonna invite this guest on they don't have that much clout but i want to interview them i'll just put them behind the paywall, but that's just fucked up because everybody's giving you their

time and the way this business works. I don't know if people at home don't know, but nobody gets paid to do podcasts. Maybe if you're like doing milk voices. In fact, you came gifts in hand. Yeah, you did. You fucking did. This is the nicest.

This is actually like like first of all bringing a gift to thank you that's like a 200 value that's great oh god damn dude wait you really brought two of them i did bring two yeah i was just fucking around i saw you in the tiktok clip where you're talking about each other's dicks shake well spray on damp or dry hair style as desired pop it out right now spray giveay it. Give it a whiff. The viewers can't smell from home. They trust you. I'm going to describe smell.

Wow. So what are you using in your hair right now? I use nothing in my... Oh, that's not true. So I take Propecia. Okay. And also I put Rogaine. Do you think you're thinning? I think my hairline receded a little

bit and then it stopped when i started taking propitia and you know did all that shit i've been taking propitia since i was 18 really yeah he's always been on it since i'm wearing a lot of hats no i just wear a hat today because i okay well you guys get good hair no grays for you too stress-free life i got that's not true i'm fucking i'm graying what are you talking about i i'm not only am i graying but i'm also uh i i also feel like my hairline has receded too for sure i mean it has you know it definitely did um but other than that what do i do for my hair i now that i have long hair like this is the first time i ever had long hair why don't we get rid of that?

How long are you trying to keep this going? I don't know, I want to keep it going I've never had it It's a little annoying I think I looked better when I had shorter hair But I just want to see I always wanted to know If you're a white guy and you grow your hair out

It only goes one of two ways You either become a school shooter You look like a fucking school shooter You look homeless, you look like a fucking school shooter you know what i'm talking about like straight you look homeless you look like you can't be trusted that or you look like jason momoa and then all of a sudden you're no longer white which jason momoa it kind of isn't white but regardless like you just look more exotic and he has that eyebrow slice that like the tiktokers get put in by their barber but he just naturally has them from whatever he got the scar it like landed in a perfect spot is it natural i don't know you think he had

somebody slice him that would be so no i wait oh he has a slice or i thought he was just like got a slit oh he's got like a perfect slice it looks badass and it never grows in what happened you didn't get you didn't you didn't ask for that no no yo give me the jason my ball come on once i had it for like two months i should have just yeah there you go that's on a he got lucky man yeah what the fuck such a good scar you the funniest thing i learned about this motherfucker was like i always thought he was australian or some shit you know what i mean because like yeah or like he's got an accent right yes look at him when he was young watch a video okay bro watch a video of jason momoa watch it you pull up a video of jason momoa you have to hear his accent because

this motherfucker hear this grew up in either idaho or or or i what yes it's gonna fuck you up watch actors do that when you get to a certain level like johnny depp just different accents Or Iowa. What? Yes! It's gonna fuck you up. Watch. Actors do that. When you get to a certain level, like Johnny Depp just throws on different accents. Yeah, what the fuck is that about? Johnny's got like a weird thing he does. But it's weird. That's weird.

Like no normal person is in your life where you're like, bro, I've known you for like 35 years. Cut it with this shit. They don't have somebody to check them. Like if you started doing that, this guy would be like, bro, what the fuck are you doing?

Yeah. have somebody to check them like if you started doing that this guy would be like bro the fuck you doing yeah looks like Bam Margera here yeah that ring is absurd look at the size of that ring. That's half the... What is that? Half the fucking turquoise in Arizona. Bro, this guy don't travel with this shit. This is all cap. You don't bring that speaker.

You never know, though. I'm sorry, what? I just brought that back. Bullshit. I don't believe that. That's cap. You bring vinyls with you, bro? He comes with a sealed Black Sabbath? That's what iPhones are for.

iPods were invented so you don't have to travel with 300 records. That was all bullshit. Why do the actors do this? I think he's lying. No, because they have to be fucking quirked up. They can't just be normal. You can't just do podcasts seven hours a day share everything that goes on in your brain exactly we we are we are way too accessible

in the influencer world that's like definitely a thing yeah yeah jason momoa i bet that motherfucker never gets canceled nobody gives a shit like wait someone's gonna be like oh jason momoa you're lying like you're actually from ohio or whatever the fuck okay he never heard you so it doesn't matter you know and you can get a never heard you so it doesn't matter you know and you can get a fucking twitter threat going it doesn't mean shit you know yeah i like to see you and him go at it in a debate on twitch live he'll freeze up oh yeah it doesn't mean anything though what am i gonna fucking no bro you got a skill man you gotta debate him on aquaman being a dog shit movie oh damn bro owned. Owned. Did you watch Aquaman?

No. Okay, yeah, me neither. I just assume it's not good. Yeah. Would you watch it? He's a movie guy. I watched it. Was he good?

Oh, you're a movie guy? I'm a big time cinephile. Yeah. Okay. Is that what you wanted to do initially and then just podcasting became? Then I got broken down. No, I came out here and i helped start uh narratives or buzzfeed's narrative department so i was like making stuff for them and then after failing a

bunch i found my way to twitch and now i do what he does basically nice yeah he hosts like he has a tv show now too g4 uh hey donna Donna. Name your price. Name your price. Hey, Donna. Attack of the show. Yeah. He hosts stuff. You know, he's killing it. Hell yeah.

Yeah. And you're on Patreon now, so this is a new thing for you. Yeah. We had a podcast before. Yeah. We had a podcast before. It was actually like the same company that did Impulsive. Yeah.

And Hasan signed a banger contract so i got i got paid in shoes it was so bad i got they made us do like they made us do fucking ad reads all the time and we're like why are we doing this where did the money go from all those ad reads to them they gave it they our payout was like nothing from the pot and and the worst part was I was trying to get those one pair of Rothy's baby

he got one pair of Rothy's they were very adamant about getting me one too I was like I don't fucking I don't want this shit get the fuck out of here they're like little

camo driving loafers what the fuck am I gonna do I don't wear this shit like get out of here I mean the shoes are the selling point of the fucking shoes.

Or that you can wash them in the washing machine. My dad fucking loves them. Let me just go on the record, though. Shouts out to Rothy's. Robert Neff. They pay you the first time you're still promoting them for free? These damn shoes? No, I just, yeah.

Well, they paid. They just paid. Not us. Not us. They probably paid Cass. So what are you doing on Patreon now? One extra podcast a week? So yeah, we're going to do like-

With somebody with no clout? No, no, no. Why do you keep saying that? I don't know. We're doing first half, second half. Don't be hot on yourself like that. You're wonderful. And this smells like sandalwood and I love it.

Thank you. Yeah, that's what we went for with that. We're doing first half, second half. So like first half of the one hour podcast is like not behind a paywall. And then the second half is going to be behind a paywall that's nice i should have did that with my patreon i agreed to do extra vlogs and live streams and i like i'm very picky with my vlogs so i'll spend too much time doing that and then i have to put them behind a paywall and that's kind of what i'm oh that's frustrating for and i but you know i appreciate them on there you

know whatever it is what it is i could always post next year. We're also going to do some weird stuff behind the paywall. We have anime body pillows we're working on. Yeah, we have other gift shit that we're going to do. Nearly nude calendar maybe. Unlockables. Nice. Yeah. Definitely.

Yeah, we got to get you on there. On the nearly new calendar, dude. Yeah, there you go. Mass distribution. Yeah, I'm in. Let me know. Just don't have Mike set up the scheduling. No, fuck no.

No, Mike is not coming anywhere near the nearly nude calendar. No. But, you know, that's the reason why we're like, we're still trying to figure it out. We're not super well versed in the Patreon stuff. Yeah. And I've never like paywalled anything before. I didn't want to paywall anything, but when I was putting out my doc,

I had all the blood and stunts and all types of crazy stuff. And YouTube, I was already in hot water because I made a weight loss show with a bunch of overweight comedians. I called the beefy boys. One of the kids name on the show was fatty. That's what he, what he calls himself.

That's what he used to cope. So I kept saying like fatty, get over here, here fatty and i guess people on youtube are watching my channel was it airsoft fatty airsoft fatty yeah that's the dude yeah he's not hilarious bro you fucking failed on that i got him down actually he didn't lose weight he didn't lose weight dude okay you know muscle weighs more than fat. He built up about 20 pounds of lean fucking muscle underneath that fat. I had him ripped underneath there. Airsoft fatty turned into lean beef patty.

That's what happened. Airsoft fatty singing the national anthem three times in a row and forgetting the lyrics is one of the quintessential internet moments. I mean, that was beautiful. What a legend. What a beautiful. What a legend. What a legend. What a legend. That was a great event.

Yeah. So you got Popeye YouTube for, you know, creating eating disorders or something? Well, they called it a racial slur or profanity or something. What? Something really aggressive. Fatty? I called him by his nickname that he uses to cope.

That's what he wants to call himself. That's what he calls himself in all his videos, but he took me down. I mean,'s like fatty arbuckle that's like a very typical that's just youtube though you know i swear to god every time you have three white dudes sitting down we immediately every conversation turns to cancel culture what the fuck it's just what it's true every time dudes get together do a podcast it's like we're talking about cancel culture no i well i didn't mean i got canceled i couldn't no you canceled this is censorship yeah i got censored and then i just i had to go to patreon because i wasn't able to say all the slurs you want oh yeah

yeah that's what we're doing behind the paywall i started doing thirst traps and that'll get your patreon flagged so if you're gonna do, you got to go to OnlyFans. You can't show dudes. They'll make your account 18 plus and you're not searchable. Wow. I tried it, bro. I wasn't going full nude,

but I posted a couple. You can't even do the fucking nearly nude calendar. What is this? You could go nearly nude. Yeah, we told them already. Well, it's going to be tasteful. I guess, look,

you guys probably have better connections than I do, so maybe they just didn't want to they want me to do that connection that got us the fucking cast deal so oh shit shout out to my manager uh dude that deal slapped yeah my dad loves those thank god i paid this motherfucker with shoes for like a year it was so funny because at the time too i was like my career was lagging behind and i've made up some ground obviously you know he crushes it and the the initial podcast was supposed to be

like this is gonna help you out dude and after a year i walk away with one we we got no control over it that's what what was annoying. The worst part was that they never gave us the fucking blue shoes, bro. Yeah. We wanted it. We were like, we'll do dick pills. Like, that's like, we don't give a shit about any of this other stuff. Like, oh, Duolingo or whatever the fuck they were trying to get us to do. I wanted to learn Japanese.

Yeah, okay, whatever. You never fucking open up a book, okay? It's an app. You're dyslexic. I do my best. Okay so what you you're doing a little you're doing a tinkle all right well anyway what happened is these motherfuckers wouldn't even give us uh the the erectile dysfunction whatever like the the pill it's not even a pill but like so you have to do these ad reads that are not genuine because you're saying, look, if

you struggle, they make me say it when I do erectile dysfunction reads. They'll make me say, do you suffer from erectile dysfunction like I do? Because I deal with it. No, they don't. And then I'll be reading it and I'm like, how the fuck did I end up here? Like for real? We unlocked Botox, dick issues. What else is going on?

Bro, I don't have dick issues. Oh, no. But it's part of the talking points they put it mandatory say you have your own experiences with this so i have to read it and i'll be sitting there with my fucking producers in the bathroom and i'm like if you guys got ed like me the fuck did i end up here my life you know we made you we made you cancel your date and now admit that you got big problems going on i needed the money all right so what's up you're on you're on raya no no raya you got off raya no yeah i thought you were on raya no no okay what are you i'm talking to jeff wittek what the fuck? No, I don't do dating apps.

You don't use Instagram? Yeah. Yeah, I guess. I'm just a scumbag on Instagram. Yeah. Hey there. What's up? Honestly, I haven't really been actively pursuing women that much.

I know people probably don't believe that, but I don't. Yeah, they come to you. We got it. No, no, no. I've just been in a weird spot in my life with like recovery and everything over this past couple years look at you you got a house bro you have your life set up you know you can welcome a woman into your life actually no you twitch stream all day yeah i yell into my computer for eight hours a day so yeah you're

fucked bro you'll never find love i mean probably but either of us what i mean hey look i love i love what i do fine i do the same thing i i love what i do so i'm happy on that front same i'm just messing around i'm breaking your balls but uh why you're not so you're dating though right i i dabble you know i dabble it's tough though who the fuck is she? What? Don't worry about it, bro. It's, I mean, honestly, it's not. Like, it's fucking, it's not at all. I just literally, Raya or Instagram, like you said, I just, you know, people hit me up in my DMs. What about real life? Rarely.

What the fuck is that? Rarely. Yeah, I just, like, when's the last time you met someone organically well you go to the gym right you go to equinox no i no i started training with a trainer now oh so i don't even do that yeah i could never hit on a girl at the gym but that's the gym is sacred time okay i understand for for her and myself you know who actually i always wanted to do this back when I used to go to the

when I was like what was her fucking name I don't even know what she looks like now but like Gabby Epstein you know who that is what

she's like an Australian model oh I thought it was Jeffrey Epstein's kid no dude what the fuck no um

uh she's like an Australian model and I uh like I just I was always like who the fuck is this super hot girl like at the equinox that i'm working out at and this was many years ago she probably doesn't go there creepers don't work you know you're not gonna be able to find her there um and i always wanted to talk to her but i never was able to get the courage to be like because the gym is such a weird situation i just could never approach would you dm her and be like hey saw you at the gym and maybe open the door that way that's a

good idea i should have done that it's too late now it's over many many years hey hey remember me four years ago yeah exactly or maybe she posts a story and you respond to the story like oh shit i was there earlier i work out at 6 a.m like the rock you know it's brilliant this guy's brilliant damn dude you got fucking you got moves dude well i'm not on ray right whatever the fuck it is yeah you gotta you gotta make do with your instagram which is probably real life i'm a real life guy you know and that means so much more to me to meet a girl it could even be i hate to put numbers on it or something but it could be just a regular girl and meeting her in person is so much cooler to me than a DM or something.

And online, I never know what girls know about me already. It's weird if somebody knows, like they've listened to my podcast. And they heard you talk about how you have erectile dysfunction. Yeah, whatever. My brain's fucked up. I go on there and I cry about all my problems. I don't want them knowing anything about me.

I want a fresh start. I want it to be an even playing field. I don't know anything about you. You don't know anything about me. And we're going to get to know each other. Yeah, I never go out. That's probably the reason why meeting people in the real world is quite difficult. But also, for me, I'm not on any of the dating apps.

There was a time when i used uh bumble a little bit i i quit tinder a long time ago but the reason why i was on raya was because like when you're on bumble um there's fans there's just like no other way to go about it i had a partnership with bumble and they made me go do like the virtual dating at the start of the pandemic. That's crazy. So I had to record my first dates virtually. No. It was a great deal.

I loved it. Because before that, they would send me around to colleges and I would just pop up at the college. I wouldn't have to do a show or anything. It was just like show up, do a meet and greet. And that was part of my Bumble deal. So I did that for a while, but I never actually. So you recorded your virtual dates? Yeah.

I would have to ask for permission. Did any of them go a little weird? Yeah, bro, with me asking questions, they all went weird immediately. What would you ask? Wait, is this available anywhere? Can we look at this? Yeah, it's probably on my TikTok or something. Bro, we got to fucking find, like, Jeff...

Which one went the worst? I don't fucking remember. Jeff Wittek. Which one went the worst? I don't fucking remember. Jeff Wittek muscles is the first thing that comes up. Did that pop up? Because probably a recent search you did. Oh, yeah.

We just did that. I think that's just your... No, you've been grooving your SEO for a long time. Yeah, bro. That's just you, dog. Yeah, it's just me. Casually.

This is how you can date Jeff Wittek. Jeff Wittek body fat percentage. Jeff Wittek feet showed up there too. Have you been looking at it? You're telling everybody I got 0% body fat. I'd be dead, bro. I have 1.01%.

I think it came up. This is how you can date Jeff Woodack? Just go to my TikTok. It's probably from like two years. I don't post that much on TikTok. I'm more, okay, go down, go down. Yeah, this guy never shows

his fucking body, you know? Bro, it's not that much. Look, it's Brad Pitt Fight Club costume. I had to be shirtless. Yeah. Yeah, of course. It sucks that it happened that way.

It's a Halloween costume. Before the pandemic, well, well no it started the pandemic so probably up a little more you'll see when my eye gets fucked up it's before that bro i think you can tell we can't tell actually yeah bro it's like it's yeah it's like it's like a different type of body dysmorphia that you've developed which is understandable but like do i have body dysmorphia that you've developed, which is understandable. Do I have body dysmorphia? I guess you're right. I think you probably. I mean, it's a traumatic thing.

It makes sense. But, yeah, we can't tell. Well, thanks, guys. Fuck, man. I don't know where this shit is. You know what you look like? You look like a much better looking version of Mac from Always Sunny. Oh, hell yeah. I like that.

I don't know, bro. I'll find it and send it to you maybe i archived it because it was cringe yeah i mean but so you were doing you were doing virtual days with people that's crazy what was the weirdest thing that happened oh man um well that was in the beginning of the pandemic so everybody was like terrified that the world was gonna end yeah um that's a weird energy to bring into a date. It was very weird energy. And you can't meet up and you don't know when you can meet up.

Because it was literally the first month. It was like, what do you think? This shit will last a couple more weeks. It was a weird time. Oh, my God. Two years later. Remember that original two-week estimation? Oh, yeah.

Two weeks inside. Yeah. We'll just squeeze it out. It'll just, you know, just squeeze it out. It'll be good. Dude, I remember it hit Easter. It hit Easter. I was like, this shit's so real. Elon Musk was tweeting like, oh, it's going to be fine by April.

It's like, shut the fuck up, motherfucker. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about, okay? Keep making rockets, rocket boy. Don't put yourself in this business. What are your thoughts on Elon? I fucking hate him. Yeah? Did you always hate him?

Were you ever an Elon fanboy? No. I was always a big hater, but mostly because he's a billionaire. And I truly, truly believe that billionaires are a product of a broken system. I see it in the same vein that I see homeless people. Homeless people should not exist. Okay. Yeah. It's ridiculous. And I don't mean fucking zap them with lasers. the same vein that i see homeless people like homeless people should not exist okay yeah like it's ridiculous and i don't mean like fucking zap them with lasers like patrick bateman go around at

night well yeah no that's not exactly that's not what i mean uh is that what you do american psycho you go knife up the homeless at night no of course not um even though you shouldn't exist um what i mean i thought he meant it in a charitable way he's jacking up the homeless what I meant by that is there are cities all around the world oh they should get the billionaires oh I see what you're saying I thought it was mass murdering all the homeless

I have a much better idea way less messy it's a consequence of the housing market and I'm like yeah I see what you're saying. I don't know, bro. I wouldn't want to debate you over here. So I'm like, all right, whatever. He's a little bold with his ideas.

I'm so against fucking debating over here. I'm just like, yeah, whatever you say. Yeah, no, no, no. There's going to be no debate. Don't you worry, baby. No, I was saying that it's just a product of a just a, it's just a product of like a broken system. And there are places where homeless people don't exist. Not going to talk about politics though, but you know, places like, uh, Austria, uh, it's

called red Vienna, uh, where, uh, Austria has a 65% public housing. This is communist shit, you know, government housing and it's beautiful. Yeah. And homeless people are, are very hard to find in places like that what do you think elon will be in 10 years prison probably dead do you think so i don't know probably i feel like all those fucking guys are insane they like they all want to like bottle up their dick or something you know what i mean they want to put their like fucking cock in a in a vase and and i'm preserving like they're they're just crazy they they're all obsessed with like fucking

prolonging life endlessly they're all want to like fucking which i understand if you're a fucking billionaire you're like this is pretty i want to be here i want to keep doing this um and i have enough uh to to last me multiple lifetimes right um. Um, but I don't know. He's just, he's too, he's way too narcissistic, which is understandable. Uh,

and, and I think that that'll probably get the best of him eventually. Yeah. But we'll see. Yeah. Did you put any money in the doge coin? Fuck no. I don't do any of that crypto shit.

I think crypto is fucking bullshit. Yeah. Did you watch the milk boys interview? Elon? I did not watch that one. I only watched the one because like elon musk is so fucking boring yeah he's hard to he's hard to pay attention to he has go-to answers too that are gonna be the same shit that he said on rogan which was great you know like i watched rogan and i was first time it was fine yeah yeah but i don't need to hear him say it again. Just slower. Yeah. You know? Yeah. He's not exactly a charismatic guy,

which is why I like, I always think about that where I'm like, if I had that kind of money, like I just wouldn't fucking do any of the things that he's doing. I'd be like Richard Branson, you know, on an Island with like naked models, but not like in a Jeffrey Epstein kind of way.

All the models are over the age of 25. Consent Island. Okay. Yeah. Over the age of 25, okay yeah over the age of 25 they're visibly 25 they have like a must be this tall ride this roller coaster they're all fucking you must be 25 to enter this island okay ethical billionaire that island shit okay because you know they got a bad rap oh is 25 the cutoff for you is that the age you'd like to stay above when

it comes to dating i like i like to say that uh if you're if you're a 25 year old off for you? Is that the age you'd like to stay above when it comes to dating? I like to say that if you're a 25-year-old girl, you know what you're doing. You know what I mean? There's no like... Because the problematic age gap discourse is huge on the internet. They love this shit. And especially a lot of young people love talking about it. But it's like, bro, you're fucking 19. You don't know anything.

Why are you talking about whether it's okay for a 23-year-old to date 25 year old you know what i mean shut the fuck up you're 19 shut up but they love talking about it and what i say is like your brain starts developing and it doesn't stop developing until you're at least 25 so once you're 25 if a 25 year old dates like a fucking 55 year old like that 55 year old is not coercing or grooming the 25 year old you know what i mean unless they're like their boss or some shit, which is different. Um, so that's why I always say 25.

Um, but you know, circumstances can change. Yeah. It's, it's, I mean, it's like,

it's a gray area. Like, it's not like, you know, human, human interaction is, is, uh,

is difficult to like contextualize and like, uh, turn into, uh, you know, clear set of guidelines and boundaries yeah yeah and also at our age a lot of the ones the good ones around our age are taken now with kids family you know we are getting old that's true so you either got an overshoot go

way older like you know 50s yeah there you go mckenenzie or something, whatever her name is. Hit me up. Yeah. I'm just kidding. That's dope. Hell yeah. She might be out there watching. Absolutely not.

But yeah, you're right. There are, I mean, we're in Hollywood. It's different. Yeah. I feel like there's still plenty of single ladies around our age. Also, it's 2022. A lot of those women who are off the market probably come back on the market. That's right.

And we're aging backwards over here. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Get a little of that fucking... That's right. Now that we get his Botox, bro, it's over. I haven't had Botox. Yeah, once we get that shit, it's done.

I'm going to get one of those crane treatments. I'm going to start looking like the Bogdanov brothers. Out here. Who's that? The Bogdanov brothers? You've never seen that? That sounds like my ancestors. They've had a Botox treatment or two in their time. They both died, didn't they?

Yeah, they did. From COVID, I think. And not from Botox. From COVID? They died? And they're Botox-nice. Yeah, there it is with a V. How old are they?

I don't know. I think they were in their 50s or 60s when they died. Yeah, bro. Yeah, bro. That's what I'm trying to be. Damn, yeah. Those guys, ageless. Bro, these guys could be my parents.

You can't tell. Or they could be your younger brother. You just don't know. You just don't know. You just don't know. Just a little light Botox, you know? Yeah, just that much. Just light work. Once you pop, you can't stop, though.

Damn. Yeah, they look good, man. I'm going to bring a picture of that in. Have you ever given that cut in your barber shop? That's what I'm going for. Look, the guy on the left, I kind of like. Yeah, what would you call that cut right there? The Bogdanov.

That's the Bogdanov? Yeah bogdanov wow that's a wild like how the fuck do you do that i i just like don't even understand how you do that it goes back to like johnny depp just getting an accent out of nowhere you need friends that are going to check you and be like bro why are you talking like that but they're twins so they didn't even check each other and they were like no this is fucking sweet i feel like john Johnny picked up the accent way heavier when he did Captain Jack Sparrow. I feel like he picked that up. It worked for him. And he just held on to it.

It's just such a strange thing. Having fun with life. Yeah. It's such a fucking strange thing, dude. You know what else he picked up? You know what other affectation he kind of held on to? Hunter life. Yeah. Yeah. It's such a fucking you know what else he picked up. You know what other affectation he kind of held on to Hunter S.

Thompson that like get back in the tub you pig fucker. Like yeah. I mean but yeah. You son of a bitch. That's one of my top

stab you like I kind of get a little fear unloading right here where you two you kind of got the dynamic. We used to be beneath that was the that was

the original head was the original name of the podcast was Fear and Molding. So we cut the molding and that was just Fear and. A little Gonzo journalism coming at you. Yeah. We're not doing Gonzo journalism. We're just fucking shooting the shit. We're just getting weird.

But yeah, I think like guys like that, you're playing a character and it probably is really fun to play the character. Yeah. And then eventually you're like, you know, you fucking, you're done playing a character, and it probably is really fun to play the character. And then eventually you're like, you're done playing the character. And then you go home, and you're like, fuck, man, I'm so boring. I got to figure some shit out. So you just pick different parts of it and make it your character. Just wear one extra piece of jewelry every day.

Yeah. Dude, it's just unacceptable. That is unacceptable. The way half's just like unacceptable That is unacceptable Like the way half of these motherfuckers look is unacceptable Like I wear jewelry They're almost in chain mail at this point They're just like three fingers a ring Like people clown on me for this shit

But it's like This is pretty light, dude You get a lot of accessories, bro For a big tough guy I do love I love accessories I think it's fine I mean

You got a fucking little chain going This is my mafia button right here. Really? Give it to me after my first kill. Yeah. And that's it, bro. You're a made man? Yeah.

No. No? I can't say that on the internet. No, you say it behind the paywall. Yeah, well, let's go ahead and put that on the paywall. I can't put that behind the paywall. How many men have you killed? Oh, we should fucking, we should have already, yeah, we should switch over.

All right, let's get into fucking Ethan Klein. I got a bone to pick with that guy. Oh, let's do it. Okay, hold off on that, though. All right, guys, so this is the first episode that we're doing behind a paywall. And if you want to watch the rest of this episode, we're getting to the juicy fucking details of Jeff's. We're going to measure this man, okay, in every way.

All right? We're going to talk about his background, the real juicy shit that he's not able to say, that he's a made man. How many men he's killed. Yeah, how many people has he killed? What's the body count? All of that.

That will be behind the paywall. What else should I say about that? He nailed it. Do I tell people to go somewhere? Watch, I'm going to do this. Yeah. If you want to watch the second I tell people to go somewhere? Listen, watch. I'm going to do this. Yeah. Yeah. If you want to watch the second part of this, go to the link here.

I'll put it in the description. In the description underneath us. You can't put a fucking link in, Mauricio. Help me out, buddy. Okay. All right, let's get down to it. Bye.