Fear& - Hasanabi EXPOSES AustinShow (real) | Fear&Reputation
Episode Date: February 5, 2024This week we are back home with some cozy vibes, yes Will is still dead from self suck (in Texas). Convo topics today include Austin being exposed for actually being a real life straight man in real l...ife, Taylor Swift Q anon developments, a rare feel good moment & more. Hope you enjoy thanks for watchin love ya :D✨ BONUS CONTENT ✨ PATREON - https://www.patreon.com/FearAnd🎧 AUDIO PLATFORMS 🎧- https://linktr.ee/fearand❤️ follow Fear&! ❤️Hasan: https://twitter.com/HasanthehunWill: https://twitter.com/TheWillNeffQT: https://twitter.com/QTCinderellaAustin: https://twitter.com/AustinontwitterMarche: https://twitter.com/MarcheFear&: https://twitter.com/FearAndPod00:00:00 - Austin is late again00:02:22 - gay for pay (fake straight)00:10:30 - speaking of slurs00:12:30 - QT to the grammys00:15:30 - tswift nfl takeover00:20:10 - biden swift 202400:24:00 - reputation didn't come out00:27:12 - a feel good moment for once00:30:50 - nbc news is a fake pole00:32:32 - transvestigation00:37:00 - austin tries to relate to the group00:45:57 - unsettling perfect face tiktok00:50:00 - targeted ED pills?00:53:10 - underwear is hot 00:57:40 - ludwig isnt a good friend#hasanabi #qtcinderella #podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I'm like so worried about my sister.
You're engaged.
You cannot marry a murderer.
I was sick, but I am healing.
Returning to W Network and STAK TV.
The West Side Ripper is back.
If you're not killing these people, then who is?
That's what I want to know.
Starring Kaley Cuoco and Chris Messina.
The only investigating I'm doing these days is who shit their pants.
Killer messaged you yesterday?
This is so dangerous. I gotta get out of this.
Based on a true story.
New season Mondays at 9 Eastern and Pacific.
Only on W.
Stream on Stack TV.
Playoff football is here with BetMGM.
And as an official sportsbook partner of the NFL,
BetMGM is the best place to fuel your football fandom on every game day with a variety of exciting features.
BetMGM offers you plenty of seamless ways to jump straight onto the gridiron
and to embrace peak sports action.
Visit BetMGM.com for terms and conditions.
Must be 19 years of age or older.
Ontario only.
Please gamble responsibly.
Gambling problem?
For free assistance, call the Connex Ontario helpline at 1-866-531-2600.
Bet MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. all right ladies and gentlemen all right welcome to the podcast folks welcome to another episode
of fear and and your favorite people are back in
the building cutie cinderella and me yours truly austin show and then also that hassan guy welcome
there is nothing more insane to me yeah than being then one pushing the podcast back was supposed to
be at 10 uh pushing the podcast back to 11 30 11 to30, and then being almost an hour and a half late to that as well,
and then coming in, sitting down, yelling, being like,
oh, I hate how bad the infrastructure is in LA when it rains,
blaming it on, like, natural weather events,
and then having the audacity to start the podcast yourself?
Yeah, well, I mean, I think...
To do the intro like you were here already.
I think they needed somebody to do the intro.
Who was they?
Who were we talking about?
They, the audience.
Our non-binary fans.
Yes, our non-binary queer fans.
Okay.
They needed a queer representative to do a podcast or do an intro for our podcast.
And we and they don't like your attitude.
It's interesting that
Quit straight-splaining.
It's interesting that Austin immediately started off
by trying to act like he's actually queer
when he was exposed
yesterday.
He did choose me on Loverhost.
He's been attracted to me for years.
This story has deep lore.
You get it started. He called me for years. This story has deep lore. You get it started.
He called me frantically.
Frantically while I had guests on my stream.
He's like, no.
We have to talk about what's going on.
We have to talk about what's going on.
This is really devastating.
Austin, if you need to talk to someone, just push go live.
No, I was going to.
You can talk to thousands of people.
All my viewers are on his stream at the moment. Go ahead. all my viewers are on his stream at the moment
so here's the deal
all my viewers are on his stream at the moment
as in hot scored streams
so I did
I did a interview
with this guy a friend of mine his name is Art
and he's interviewing
gay creators sort of like man on the street
type shit where he asks questions
yeah we can if you want I'll send it to you but I'll tell the story gay creators, like sort of like man on the street type shit where you ask questions. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
We can, if you want it, it's I'll send it to you, but I'll tell the story.
Send it to March.
I'll tell the story as we're doing it.
So discord, so we can pull it up for some context.
I can't multitask.
So it's going to be hard for, I'll send it to you after the story.
Okay.
Well, I'll tell you.
No, no.
Let me tell the story.
I'll tell the story.
So the story is, so the story is art and I do this interview, right?
This video we'll, we'll watch the video in a moment
is our gay yes he's gay yeah he's art i think it's short for something arts my ex-boyfriend
has a had a friend named dart and i thought that was the funniest name and he'd be like i'm going
to lunch with dart and i was like that's cool yeah this yeah i think i think about dart sometimes i
wonder what he's up to well probably addicted to methadone now.
Yes, probably.
That seems like the type of name that you would have.
No, but he played lots of World of Warcraft.
So he's probably dead.
Yeah, he's...
Dart's dead.
Oh, no, I missed Dart.
Actually, he's not dead.
His name is Asmongold online.
That's right.
He's actually very successful.
That's awesome.
Okay, so anyway, so Art interviews me, and we do a couple videos.
Both of them get really good views.
One got like half a million.
The other got like a million on Instagram.
You don't need to drop the view count.
No, it's relevant.
No, I get it.
It got a lot of traction.
It's not relevant.
It's relevant.
So he sends me a text last night.
He's like, this is so stupid. And it's a comment from another person saying that Austin is gay for pay.
You shouldn't interview gay for pay creators because it's like they're gay for pay.
And I was like, he admitted it on his Twitter is what he said.
I think that's the one, right?
Yeah.
Pull it up please i i i'm so ready for this segment that i literally sent march ahead of time visual aids so we could pull it up
because i have so many okay things to show you says that he says that i'm gay for pay right and
then the reference tweet that he uses to say that i'm gay for pay is me i tweeted
last year that hasan and i aren't gay and that we're not dating just to clear up a misconception
oh right because you were trying to start that i was trying to start that rumor there's there's
also um some of those tweets are not there, unfortunately. But I also had a tweet saying, Hasan and I, just to clear up the confusion,
Hasan and I are not gay.
And also, like, you know, some other stuff.
You were saying we're not married.
We're not gay.
Yeah, so this guy goes and does an investigation, evidently.
He sees me on this thing.
He does his research.
An investigation.
Yeah, right.
And he finds all these tweets, one being Hasan and I aren't gay,
the other being me saying I'm not gay on April 1st, which being Hasan and I aren't gay, the other being me saying
I'm not gay on April 1st, which is clearly...
I don't think he went that deep.
I think we found all those tweets.
Okay, yeah, you guys found all that shit.
So here's what happened.
Austin calls in a panic being like, this guy doesn't think I'm gay.
At first I was like, who cares?
But then I realized, well, this is great content.
Send him a video.
Send him a video of you being gay.
No, because gay for
pay like that's what i'm saying i there's no way i can fucking prove to him that i'm gay about being
gay for pay is you also get sent like beheading videos wait what yeah one time i did a collab
with a drag queen and my discord all of a sudden ping ping ping ping ping ping ping and some
homophobic crazy person just filled my discord with beheading videos and
they're like you gay fucks and i was like number one where's my pay that's just uh straight up
that's a homophobic psychopath yeah that's what i'm saying like being gay for pay you also get
the homophobic psychopath i don't know if it's worth it but i started i started saying she was gay and i'm like how do i prove to this guy that i'm gay so i thought about like do i have to have sex
with him is that what i have to do do i have to send him videos of me having sex with people
like do i need to like do i need to do i need to show him like videos of me on dates. What do I need to do? Let me get naked in front of you, and let's see if you stay soft, bitch.
I'm tired of the lies.
I spilled my coffee.
I'm tired of the lies.
Oh, here goes the song.
It's over.
Okay?
It's over.
The charade is over.
Austin is a straight man.
Yep.
He's been lying about being a homosexual for the past couple of years, and I have proof.
Let's get started.
Exhibit 13B.
There is nothing.
Pull any of them.
Pull any of those.
It's out there.
You know what, Cutie?
What's shocking is it was right in front of you.
Here it is.
I am the unbiased judge from here on out.
Can you read out what is on screen, please, Cutie?
I am on my way to florida so naturally i'm
wearing my cross like a good straight christian boy oh yeah and i love women i mean that's
seriously um it's been right in front of you the whole time okay there's more there's more
i'm the judge you're supposed to be defending there's go can you read that one as well uh
judge cutie can you please read exhibit 13 i've been secretly saying no homo all these years. I mean, what's the subsequent Exhibit 13D?
And then he also tweeted out boobies.
I mean, what can I say?
Like any good straight man, that's what I would do.
Yeah.
I am straight.
I like to slay puss.
Yeah.
Slam puss.
Slam puss.
Austin, you could just, if you just tweeted, you could be Prezzo, but you just don't apply yourself.
And it pisses me off.
Well, you don't think I'm funny.
I was gay.
I'd be so funny.
No, I just think I think that's what that's what's that's.
I'm straight.
This is his present.
Every other month when Prezzo tweets out, I murdered my girl's pussy last night.
It's my favorite tweet.
Yeah.
OK, so Prezzo does that shit, too.
But evidentlyly i look too
straight and prezzo maybe he looks a little gay i don't know a little gay how dare you um he looks
a lot of gay he looks way gayer than you yeah i know and that's the problem and uh this is the
reason why people think you're fucking gay for pay and i I'm like, I told the guys, like, I don't even do porn.
The thing I will say, the thing I have to say here is also that the tweet of Austin coming out as straight has more likes than the tweet of Austin coming out as gay the first time.
Which is why, by the rule of the land, you are a straight man.
That's it.
The good news is we actually have that commenter
here today come on in oh my god imagine yeah you have to make out for 10 minutes yeah i mean like
look i mean i don't know i don't know what to prove it to this guy but um i mean i've been
alleged as a bisexual well the first time you said you came out as a bisexual but i just was kind of leaving the
classic though that's a classic because you were like not you don't want to go fully not to
invalidate bisexual people because like by people by by people exist you know what i mean um i just
want to be clear about that like fairies exist like i'm like fairies no but bisexuality is a
thing i thought maybe because i had had experiences with women that it was kind exist like i'm like fairies no but bisexuality is a thing i thought maybe
because i had had experiences with women that it was kind of like open no maybe i was i think you
were bearding i was i think it was like i think you were just like people in you're like guys
don't worry i'm not an f slur like i'm just i'm a little bit by i mean there's a lot of queer people
that that have done that in the past like i i don't know i haven't had sexual relations with a woman for 10 years since before i came out and the last time i had sexual relations
with a woman it it was there was no erection anyway um so everybody knows you're a straight
man and you're living a lie and you've been you've been letting everybody know this entire time so
all of the instances where you've said the f slur on camera publicly yeah now is a hate crime they're they're a slur well you know
what you've been slurred i will no longer be saying
sorry mark messed up you said it like a slur too yeah i did yeah i did
but you know it's just you know it's it's really good to be out as a straight man
it really feels great oh my gosh speaking of slurs my what a segue where are we going
my editor is or samson very talented he's actually ray's editor but i can only afford him once a year
um he uh he's does my twitch rewind for the streamer awards.
He's so fucking talented.
It makes me want to barf and eat it.
But there's a bunch of Kai clips in there.
And I had to say, I think we've got to soften the N-word a little bit.
Because he says the N-word so much and sometimes with stank that I'm like, it feels aggressive out of context.
Because when he's streaming, fine.
It fits in naturally.
But when you go from a clip of someone playing Suika game to just Kai saying the hard R, I'm like, it feels...
Why do you have clips of Kai saying the hard R in the Twitch recap?
Because he's so funny.
When he's dressed as Iron Man and he goes, I can't say it, obviously.
He's the N-word man?
That's what he says?
I can't believe you would think it.
He goes, I'm Iron N-word, and it's so funny.
You thought it, though.
But it just feels really strong when he's yelling it at you.
You're like, ah.
Yeah, no, it's a lot.
Like when I say, f***.
Yeah.
That's insane.
I'm feeling a little uncomfortable.
I don't.
I'm feeling a little uncomfortable as an ally to the homosexual community.
I feel uncomfortable.
Wait, what happened to you being a foe?
I am an ally.
No, you're definitely a foe. I'm coming out as an ally.
Okay, he's coming out as an ally and I'm coming out as straight.
Yeah, that's right. It's just, you know, how the turntables. Yeah. It's like that sometimes. he's coming out as an ally and i'm coming out as straight yeah that's right it's just you know how the turntables yeah it's like that sometimes it's like that yeah so
okay um let's let's talk about what we have to talk what we must talk about i don't i wish we
would write like our agenda oh i write it i have a notepad i have a notepad too okay let's get a
whiteboard so i know where you're going.
You know where I'm going.
No.
I'm looking right at you.
Is it because you think Reputation TV is going to be announced tonight?
The fuck is that?
Oh, okay.
What?
No, but I am going to be asking you about Taylor Swift.
I'm going to the Grammys.
Wait, really?
Yeah, that's why we couldn't film at night tonight.
I'm drunk in the back of the car.
Wait, are you actually going to the Grammys?
I'm so confused. I'm coming home from the bar. Is she at the... Oh,'m drunk in the back of the car. Are you actually going to the Grammys? I'm so confused. And I cried like a baby coming home from the bar.
Is she at the...
Oh, I'm in the back of the car.
Okay, okay, okay.
Before we throw to, like, obviously Taylor Swift and what I was going to talk about,
are you actually going to the Grammys?
Yeah, she's going to the Grammys.
Both of us are going to the Grammys.
Yeah, okay.
I know he's not going.
I feel like if you were going to go to the Grammys, you would be getting ready right
now, and you'd be, like, very... I'm going to the Grammys as a person
who bought a ticket in nosebleed.
You bought a ticket to the Grammys?
Okay, don't...
You didn't get invited to the Grammys?
Why would I get invited? I'm nobody.
No, I got invited to the Grammys. No.
They're like, we need you, the Austin Show podcast.
They are like, we love the Hossgorge
streams. Yeah, yeah. No.
Okay, yes. Number one, yes, you can buy tickets to the Grammys. Nosebleeds. show podcast they are like we love the hosk or yeah yeah no yeah okay yes number one yes you
can buy tickets for the grammys nosebleeds the problem is i saw this article that was like taylor
swift's performing at the grammys i was like get me a ticket bitch because i think there's a small
chance he's gonna announce reputation tv i'll get there and um so then gingo he has a connect
because ludwig buys sweets for Lakers games sometimes.
And he's like,
Oh,
he can get you,
he can get you a seat at the Grammys for,
well,
two tickets for $4,000.
And I was like,
it's for Taylor.
I have to do it.
So I take out a loan and I buy my Grammys tickets.
And then I'm talking to Ludwig.
I was like,
I got us Grammy tickets because Taylor Swift's performing.
And then he was like, who else is performing?
And then I Googled the list.
Taylor Swift's not on there.
I saw a scam ad that Taylor Swift was performing.
Oh, my God.
She's not performing.
Why didn't you show your tickets?
Is she there?
Is she going to be in the room at least?
You can't.
She's going to be in the room, and she'll be accepting some awards for sure.
And she might announce Reputation TV.
And Billie Eilish is performing.
Wait, so who else is going?
Are you and Lud going together? Yeah.
If Ludwig doesn't want to go, I'll go with you.
I think he wants to go.
Okay, well I just want to put that out there.
Just in case.
Just in case he gets sick.
It's not unfair of you to say that.
I think it's valid.
If he doesn't want to go, I'm going to give him a call
later and I'm going to see if he...
Austin is going to bully Ludwig from going to the Grammys. I'm going to say, Ludwig, you don't want to go, I don't know. If he doesn't want to go, I'm going to give him a call later, and I'm going to see if he... Austin is going to bully Ludwig from going to the Grammys.
I'm going to say, Ludwig, you don't have to go.
I'm going to take this one for you.
It is black tie.
I'm wearing a yellow dress.
Oh, shit.
I don't have a suit.
Can he buy me a suit?
Maybe.
You are a ridiculous person.
I think, look, he buys suites at Lakers game.
I'm bailing him out.
I'm entertaining his girlfriend. A suite, a suit, it's the same lakers game i'm bailing him out i'm entertaining
his girlfriend it's the same thing he just sounds entertaining his girlfriend we're having a great
time cutie has everybody wins everybody i get a new suit i want to reiterate that you're a
ridiculous person you're also a ridiculous person four thousand dollars for two seats
i really don't have that kind of money right now yeah i can't like i took out a loan i would like
to make it very clear yeah you took out a loan for bill would like to make it very clear. Yeah, I know.
You took out a loan for Billie Eilish.
Billie Eilish is not four grand.
I thought Taylor was performing.
I got scammed again.
Are we surprised?
No.
That's so funny.
Okay, Taylor Swift.
She is supposed to be in Japan right now, but she's back.
No, she's not supposed to be in Japan.
The tour doesn't start until this week.
Taylor Swift is not supposed to be in Japan right right now even though the embassy the japanese embassy has also tweeted out that taylor swift is uh going to
japan and then coming back to the united states of america super bowl with a sense of severe
urgency taylor swift is going to be at the super bowl and the republicans are losing their minds
oh i love republicans yeah we don't talk about politics on this broadcast however i feel like
taylor swift transcends beyond yes normal politics yes also it's cutie because it's like so true because when i watch three hours of the heiress
tour when i watch three and a half hours of the heiress tour they show travis kelsey for 30 seconds
and it's fucked up that i had to see his face for 30 seconds it's super fucking fucked up that
travis kelsey took over the heiress tour with his face yeah man he's a man he's a straight man he's so fucking cringe all of us are so mad
yes wait is that fox news no i'm making fun of the people that are like oh they show taylor swift on
the nfl they showed more chicken wings on the nfl than they showed taylor yeah it's yeah taylor
swift gets like i believe around 34 seconds like
someone timed it around 34 seconds maximum of airtime in every nfl game which goes on for you
know however many fucking hours it goes on for three and a half and um it is not unique or or
different than any other celebrity sighting you always have celebrities at nfl games you have i
mean i'm just like taking showed eminem at the lions this is yeah i was about to say this is Conk Howard's like own take, which is weird.
He's not the type of dude that I would ever find myself quoting.
But even he has been very aggressively criticizing every single person mad about Taylor Swift attending these games, saying that, you know, you got Jack Nicholson courtside at the Lakers.
That's like a staple.
And celebrities have always had an interest in sports courtside at the Lakers. That's like a staple.
Celebrities have always had an interest in sports, and it makes the sports better, and it makes it more interesting,
and it makes it more fun.
He did not bring up you or the Vikings.
Well, that's...
Surprisingly, because neither are relevant.
There's a lot of teams in sports, and I understand how you feel about it.
Neither are relevant in the grand scheme of things.
Yeah, well, okay.
That's your own personal opinion.
I'm sorry. Are the Vikings playing at the Super Bowl? No, Yeah, well, okay. All right. You know what? That's your own personal opinion. I'm sorry.
Are the Vikings playing at the Super Bowl?
No, they're not, but they will one day,
and you're going to fucking be sorry when they do.
Will I?
Oh, yeah.
You're going to be so sorry.
I'm going to be so mad.
You're going to buy me a ticket to the game.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm going to rob you.
Okay.
Well, you do that anyway.
Yeah.
All right.
So, but conservatives lost their minds a little bit in this, in this regard, because they
are currently one, either mad that Taylor Swift was like attending the games at all
or to upset that like Jason Kelsey or Travis Kelsey and, and sorry, and Taylor Swift are,
are, you know, at the forefront of everyone's minds and for that
marches if it's possible i would love for you to pull uh benny johnson just google benny johnson
uh travis kelsey taylor swift and it should show up let's take a look at like what they're saying
because they've lost their minds they think it's like a psyop they keep claiming that there's a
psychological operation and that this entire thing is happening because like they want Taylor Swift to.
If you're mad about Taylor Swift at the NFL games,
this is what I want you to do.
I want you to call your sister or find a little girl and ask them if they know
who Travis Kelsey is.
And now you have,
you can talk about football with a freaking girl in your life that didn't care.
I talked to my brother for 10 minutes the other day about Jason Kelsey a year
ago.
I didn't know who the fuck that was.
Yeah,
there you go. See, this is, this is what the NFL is retiring and we minutes the other day about Jason Kelsey a year ago. I don't know who the fuck that was. See? Yeah, there you go.
See?
This is what the NFL definitely wants this.
But Jason Kelsey is retiring, and we're sad.
Yeah, Jason Kelsey is.
But maybe he won't retire because he said recently in an interview that he spoke to
soon.
See?
I know fucking football now.
What?
See?
This is what I'm saying.
This is the cool part about the Travis Kelsey.
Taylor Swift is now cuties watching football.
I love it. And now Hassan's watching
football. I don't miss the Chiefs game.
I still don't care.
I used to be a Patriots fan and now I'm a Chiefs fan.
It doesn't work for me. I'm a
loser. I'm a weirdo. He doesn't have a soul.
I don't have a soul.
I watch One Piece about to be
done with an incredible
arc. I will say that watching any
presidential debate is more
interesting to me than most NFL
games. You don't believe that.
Not the Vikings, though.
But it depends on the game.
Okay, is this a 10-minute long video?
There is nothing more interesting
to me than watching Care Bear
porn. What? I thought we were talking
about interesting things. Wait, what's Care Bear
porn? Rule 39
You've never watched a single moment of it
Rule 34
What's Rule 39? I'm dyslexic
Wait, can we play a little bit?
This is Benny Johnson
A closeted homosexual man
Who is not allowed to go
On work trips by himself
Any longer
Wait, really?
That's awesome Wait, because he kept fucking men uh allegedly that is the reason the release of like a what
will look like a hostage video or a visiting angels ad right visiting angels and i'll have
joe biden sitting there all like twisted up like a you know in a wheelchair like an eggplant
they're doing it again glazed over skin like a crispy cream donut they're doing it again
what ruling out a side of his mouth and taylor the republicans do this thing where they've been
blanketed across the sports media entertainment atmosphere the new york times just speculated
she's a lesbian and last year's tour we've seen you can skip forward whatever she's talented can help
the pentagon asset continue much darker operation to try and pull joe biden through illegal means
over the finish line what's illegal day night week and month and year listen taylor swift has
enough money to donate to anybody's
political campaign to help them operation but just do that if she cared do well and can't she
legally just endorse whoever she wants also yes i'll be honest what's the and she has taylor swift
could choose who to be president it'd be a fucking woman yeah a gay woman well don't make that uh
well taylor swift has actually endorsed joe biden so well
she did last time because that's her only option she's gonna endorse joe biden again and when i
won for president and i think she's gonna have an impact i i have a controversial take on this i
think because taylor swift has been like surrounded by the hadids and also many other people including
like going to to what is it, Rami, I think,
the guy who's like a Palestinian comedian.
I feel like Taylor Swift is currently managing.
This is very parasocial, but I'm going to be parasocial with Taylor for once.
Don't touch me.
Okay.
Sorry.
I just wanted to give you a little touch of acknowledgement.
We're going to have to contact you.
I'm about to be paraso about to be Paris with Taylor.
I'm sorry, cutie. That was
very uncomfortable for me, too.
Anyway,
I think that Taylor Swift,
if she wanted to,
could genuinely
make concessions,
extract concessions out of the Brandon
team, the Brandon administration, with
respect to Israel-Palestine,
and could force the Biden team
to push for a ceasefire
on the condition that she offers
her endorsement, her vociferous
support for the
Biden administration.
If I'm the Hadids, this is what I'm
working on behind the scenes. This is what I'm going
for. I'm trying to get Taylor to be like, listen, we're going to do this thing where all the celebrities are going to get together.
We're going to say, Joe Biden, we love you as long as you push for a ceasefire and gossip.
And I think she'd get it.
I think she can stop the war.
I think Taylor, I'm not even joking when I say this. I unironically think if exactly what I just mentioned happened step by step, the Biden administration would legitimately have to think about it and would maybe most likely do it.
I mean, I would definitely vote for whoever Taylor Swift wanted me to vote for.
None of this came out of my mouth.
I would like to make everybody.
I'm loyal to her first.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, Reputation TV might come out and this is a big deal for us.
This is a big deal for us.
Okay.
Because Reputation is one of my favorite albums me too me too god i
love reputation that was the outfit that i wore yeah he wore reputation era um so we're pumped
i fucking i'm a reputation girly through and through when i work out listening to reputation
so what she did taylor went and unarchived a really old Instagram post that said reputation in three days.
This was years ago.
This is 2016, right?
She unarchived this post that said reputation in three days.
She did three days ago.
Tonight's the Grammys.
Reputation notoriously didn't win any Grammys.
So in her documentary, Miss Americana, it shows this moment where she got the phone call from Tree Payne.
That's like, hey, nothing, baby.
And she cries and she's sad.
And so how cool would it be if at the Grammys this year, she announces Reputation Taylor's version.
Plus, she just changed her profile picture on Instagram and Twitter to black and white.
Reputation era.
Today, she changed it today.
But obviously, it's either she announces it today at the Gram today but obviously she was going to announce
it's either she announces it today in uh at the grammys or she's going to announce it tokyo anyway
because the reputation tour the last stop was tokyo okay i think it's if i had if i was coming
though if i was a betting man i would bet tokyo that's how i've been feeling until i saw that
unarchived post that said reputation three days see that and the whole grammy thing and robert
cavallari the designer of all of her um like majority of her outfits on the eras tour
posted a picture of this silver chain dress that looked like it had snakes all over it and if she
wears that to the grammys tonight that'd be crazy that okay anyway okay i'm very excited well let
me know if ludwig pulls out okay i'm gonna give him a call is that the crypto arena isn't that
weird that's crazy? That's crazy.
That's too big.
That's crazy.
I don't know how
I'm going to get there in time.
I do have something.
What do you have to do?
I have a meeting.
Oh, I know.
Wait, is that today?
No, that's tomorrow.
Oh, my podcast?
No, not the podcast.
The other thing.
Oh, yeah.
Are you allowed to talk about it?
No, we'll talk about it on the paywall.
I do have something
to tell you guys on the paywall, though. Oh, okay. A very allowed to talk about it? We'll talk about it on the paywall. I do have something to tell you guys on the paywall, though.
Oh, okay.
A very intimate story.
Too intimate.
But something that requires money that you guys listening could do is see them naked.
What?
In our nearly nude calendar.
Oh, that's right.
That we have 300 copies left.
Yeah, 300 copies left.
Get it while you can.
Full frontal nude nudity.
No, he's lying for attention.
But it is $25.
Let's do it.
And we have 300.
And I would hope that you would buy them because otherwise we're going to have 300.
Yes, just.
There's a link in the description.
And it's honestly, it's just fearandmerch.com.
Yeah, fearandmerch.com.
Go get your calendar, your Nearly Nude calendar.
It was a really well-done calendar, if I do say so myself.
And we look great.
And it would look great on your wall.
Yeah.
Yeah, it would.
Yeah.
So go buy it.
Yeah.
We're also making an NFT out of it.
It's the first thing we've ever sold.
Oh, nope.
I'm just kidding.
Nope.
We're not doing that.
No, no, no, no.
Yeah, no.
Okay.
We're late on that train. We're late on that train.
Go buy the calendar.
I have something to say.
I met somebody so nice in the airport.
Where's my phone?
Right there on the Berserk phone.
It's under the pile of trash that you have hidden.
I just want to say, I was in the airport like this is just a
feel-good moment okay it says really not there's really no big story here but i met a friend and
i just love this i i ran into somebody and she asked me to take a photo of her um and then yeah
because she was like traveling by herself so she wanted a photo next thing you
know we get to talking she's like this is a friend of yours like i don't know i just met her in line
i get to talking to her she um she asked me like she's like look out for a husband for me i'm
looking for a 70 year old man uh looks like barack obama wait how old recently she was 76
yeah 76 she's looking for a a a husband, 76. She's looking for a husband.
So I'm out there looking for a husband for this woman, by the way.
If you're tall, you resemble Barack Obama.
Recently retired.
She's looking for a man.
Anyway, we met.
We had a great time.
She started calling me her son.
I bought her coffee.
We exchanged numbers.
This is a Ponzi scheme.
She's invited me to a
party look at that no it's not a ponzi scheme take a look show the photo of us we took a cute
party of 70 year old we we no we took a great photo look at how cute this is this is this morning
we had a great time very cute yeah we met and she she it was her idea you made her throw up the no
she she had the heart she's like let's do a heart or whatever.
We exchanged numbers.
She invited me to a...
I don't know what party it is, but we're going to a party.
Your teeth look really white in that photo.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Do they not look white here?
They look like teeth, but there they look freaking...
Well, thank you.
And I just wanted to share that moment because it was a wonderful moment and it was very
fun and...
And you're trying to find her a husband.
I'm trying to find her a husband.
So if you know any 70-year-old men
that are, you know,
kind of resemble Barack Obama, her words.
I feel like you're very desperate
for human interaction living in like a
faraway place in Portland.
It was a very sweet... No, I just
like people, Hasan. You are miserable.
You do like people.
You sit inside and you yell at your
computer screen all day. This is what human beings that enjoy life do.
I do the same thing that you do as well,
where I get overly communicative with random strangers when I'm out and about
because of the same thing that I just mentioned,
which is that I also am desperate for human interaction and I starve.
I'm starving.
Well, she started the communication.
She asked me to take a photo of her.
You just put yourself out there.
And then I said,
yes.
And I was excited.
And then we started talking about the election and how Joe Biden's going to
win and Trump's going to lose.
It was wonderful.
Funniest sign on Twitter.
It was this old man,
like a,
like a veteran with a sign that says,
get Joe and the hoe. oh joe and the hoe gotta
go who's the hoe camilla kamala harris is the hoe funny it's so funny that's i was like you know
she's like the most asexual person on the planet it's so funny to like she does not read as like
even if she's a woman yeah it's just pure misogyny at that point i think like
um it's it's uh i think it comes from like an old story that she might have like slept with someone
way back in the day but yeah trump on the other hand not a hoe obviously no clearly despite having
a man of god 11 divorces like paying to fuck porn so there's nothing wrong with no as long as it's
consensual yeah um but you know the Kamala Harris is the hoe
anyway not defending any of these people
but also you're
you haven't seen the latest polls
I saw the latest polls
I posted about it this morning
I know and I think Hassan
it was 49 to 42
I think it's a fake poll
Trump has a 7 point lead
NBC News is a fake poll you Trump has a seven point lead. NBC news is a fake poll.
You literally DM me, go only a thousand voters.
That's an accurate sample.
Yeah.
But everybody knows that at this point in the election electorate, you, you, you yourself
said, don't pay attention to polls.
I still say no.
Polling is still important.
It's just a snapshot of what things look like right now.
Polling is not as important this far out.
It only is telling us how people feel about Joe Brandon.
Now, you can make analyses on, like, where things might go to.
We're getting too political.
We are getting too political.
But, yeah, no, the worst part about it is that, like, there's, like, been, I think, I think, like a 10 more than a 17 point swing in the last couple of months.
I don't understand the economy.
The Republicans are so good at messaging.
Can Bernie Sanders run again?
No.
I fuck with him.
He can.
He's so old.
Yeah, but I fuck with him.
But he's looked 80, 90 years old since he started politics.
Yeah, he has looked like he's 900 years old since the 90s.
Yeah, he's been he's been the 90s. He's been old
forever, but he's too old and we need
somebody young like Gavin Newsom
to run for president.
Or Michelle Obama.
Michelle Obama would be
awesome. Michelle Obama would be
good. She would really
really piss off the Republicans.
Which would be even better.
She's a black woman. That's why she's a black woman.
And like,
they already hate Obama because he's a black man.
And then they would claim that Michelle Obama was a man and they were like
transvestiting her even before that became a thing.
Yeah.
It would be good.
I get transvestigated sometimes.
My favorite is when Hassan got transvestigated.
That was awesome.
At that point, if I am secretly AFAB,
it's like medical technology is over.
It's there.
Don't do transvestigations anymore
because we have fully reached the peak of of gender abolition are you saying
that you are like the representation of peak male like i mean aesthetic it's just like
it's basically like i'm six foot four like as a as a if if i were a cisgender woman, right?
You could have the knee lengthening surgery.
I've heard about that. The thing is, like, 6'4", like, I'm pretty big for, like...
Yeah, you're a big boy.
Like, I would be, you know, I'm WNBA status at that point.
Yeah.
So it's like, we're talking top 1% of 1% of, like, women's physique.
I think you're taller than 6'4".
I mean, sometimes I stand next to you and I feel like I'm
at dick level. No, I'm not taller.
I'm 6'4". I'm 5'9".
Which, by the way,
trans investigators are insane.
It's awesome. They even do it to
Trump.
Because it's mental
illness. I see this all the time. Transphobia?
People always love
saying trans people have a mental illness. Like, look at the dsm-5 or whatever no it's actually transphobia that is
a mental illness and it like captures your entire persona entire personality before you even realize
it and you can't stop thinking about it and and transvestigation assuming that anyone and everyone in the shadows is like secretly trans,
that is the final stage of that mental illness. And before you know it, you unironically have to
contend with the position that like gender is a social construct because you end up thinking
everyone is fucking trans. And if you think everyone is fucking trans, then yet you're you're you're arriving at that same conclusion but from the opposite direction that like gender
is a social contract there's like a skin that we wear on top of like who we are and it represents
who we are so that's it that's my point on it we're talking so much politics today i'm sorry
yeah welcome back yeah i saw mean girls oh how that? I have a crush on Renee Rapp.
Oh, yeah?
For the first time or the new one?
The new one.
It's awful, but...
Oh, okay.
Yeah, that's what I keep hearing.
So bad.
I don't know if I should go see it.
But Renee Rapp is a saving grace.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, look at her.
Wow, she's beautiful.
She's gorgeous.
She's very beautiful.
Yeah, I like her.
She's so pretty.
Yeah. I don't know anything about this i've like
don't even remember mean girls it's like on wednesdays we were pink right is this what
happens as you get older that like the the older you get the less joy the more it just takes to
impress you or just like get you know i get that way with comedy uh-huh this is what i've learned
because i get really fucking upset when streamers make that oh a little vacation i'm touching grass shut the fuck up yeah everyone
posts i've touched grass no like you're not funny oh jesus i feel like yeah no no that's what
that's what happened okay but that's what happens right not not not really no that's what happens
is somebody funny comes up with a thing and then everybody that's
not funny copies it into oblivion.
That's how culture works.
I hate it.
It's always trickling down.
Like, everybody knows that a meta is over when the white wine mom named Debra, that's
like the weather lady at a local station in, you know, Alabama, is doing, yeah.
If they say Riz or when they dab, when they dab on camera, it's over.
It's done.
It's just like we've reached.
I still like dabbing.
I dab on occasion.
That's how you know it's over.
And then you recycle it.
Exactly.
When Austin knows about a trend, it's done.
It's done.
It's just nip it in the bud.
No one cool says it anymore.
No one cool does it anymore.
I try not to say things that I look very uncool.
I'm having a hard time with my...
Yeah, I don't know if you could say Riz.
Yeah, I think I'm too old for that.
I'm having a hard time with the Streamer Awards jokes.
Not because they're bad, but because there's only so many ways to make the same joke.
Like, it's the Streamer Awards.
Yeah.
I mean, you're really good at that, though.
I know I'm good at it.
You're really good at recycling your... No, no, no. You're really good at that, though. I know I'm good at it. You're really good at recycling your humor.
No, no, no.
You're really good at jokes.
Like, when I launched my roast series this year, which Hassan's going to be roasting one of these.
Again.
Again.
So excited.
For the second time.
Again, so I'll have to rewrite the same joke.
Speaking of recycling.
There's so much content to be done with it because it was two years ago.
He's been canceled a bunch.
It's great.
The same thing.
The same thing.
Yeah, whatever. I get canceled for The same thing. Yeah, whatever.
I get canceled with the same thing.
Why don't you like hook up with like Jinxy
and get Jinxy roasted?
No, we're going to do the same people
and then I'll do different people.
Love you.
I love you too.
Thank you.
That's what I've replaced with a fucking thank you.
You need to get new talent.
Don't worry.
I got a new show coming out.
It's called In the Tub with Austin Show.
Oh my God.
It's an intimate experience where I sit in a bathtub.
This is going to be a huge hit.
And then I travel around to other people's tubs,
like Cutie's and Ludwig's,
and I sit in the tub with them, and then we talk.
I did design my bathroom.
They're gorgeous.
Yeah, see, there you go.
And finally, people need to see it.
So I will be coming into your tub.
Probably rephrase that.
Okay.
Look, nobody takes me seriously.
You just wait until in the tub is selling out Madison Square Garden.
You're just going to put a hot tub in the middle of Madison Square Garden?
No hot tub.
A bathtub.
It's different.
A bathtub.
You got to go toe to butt.
You're going to be so sorry when it's Madison Square Garden in the tub with Austin Show sold out crowd.
Instead of toe to butt, can I just sit between your legs?
Yeah, you can.
You can do that.
And we can do a maternity shoot.
Yeah.
I've looked fat lately.
How did we get to maternity?
Sorry, that sounded really fat phobic when I said I've looked fat lately.
I don't mean it that way.
I've felt uncomfortable with my own body lately.
Thank you.
Is that?
Wow.
Is that the proper way to do it?
Did somebody school you on that verbiage?
Is that how you're supposed to say it? No, it toxic i think when you say i feel fat lately because i'm a size 10
and i think your size perfect people that like are size you know 16 might be like that bitch
is calling herself fat does that mean i'm fat no it doesn't mean you're fat i mean i do that every
day not happy with my i think everybody everybody has a body that they feel good about or whatever, and that's just what we should accept.
That was beautiful.
Damn, you guys are so beautiful and natural.
I think that whatever you want for your body is okay with me.
Yeah, I want to lose 15 pounds.
Right.
I'm not happy with myself.
I need to lose about five pounds i need to lose
no you don't get an opinion yeah you fucking you shut your stupid fucking mouth leave the
body dysmorphia to this couch i have body dysmorphia too i'm not saying i'm fat i'm in
great shape you can't join in on the fun you can't fit in with us we have we have like real
self-loathing you're like oh my god no i, I'm not, you know, 35% vascular enough.
No, no.
I need to increase my vascularity.
We can always improve.
And on a daily basis, I work towards that.
I've upped my cardio to 25 minutes.
Dude, you are an insane person.
No one likes you.
I was thinking about this.
I was thinking about this.
Like the reason why you look the way you do is because you are literally insane and the way that you exist like the the cookie story just like kind of stays with me where you like will order like you'll order
cookies and just like eat one and then you just look at it like a sociopath and you're like
i want more but the pain is good i don't enjoy the pain i really wish i could just not have
mental illness and eat everything that i want no but like you're you're stable there's so much pressure to look fit these days bro you're barely on camera you
you could gain 25 pounds and it still wouldn't change in my personal life like yeah it's important
for me to look good i agree you know um and the same goes for me i need to lose like probably
around like 30 pounds what i can't nobody but see that no okay see that that that's
crazy you have been you have been a sex icon from the moment you were 30 pounds i i from the moment
you were 30 pounds overweight versus i like you've been a sex icon 285 pounds at like the peak of
covid and i had lost all my muscle mass and i had replaced it with fat and it it didn't
like show that poorly but i could tell and i have photos that one day i will uh reveal when i
finally get to like a place where i'm comfortable uh doing a before and after photo again like i'll
take shirtless photos every now and then now because it's like fine but not like there yet
for a before and after photo you'll see the difference okay it's insane because it's like fine but not like there yet for a before and after photo you'll
see the difference okay it's insane okay it's insane already yeah it's not you know but see
yeah we all have a little body dysmorphia it's all relevant no no i was definitely it's all relative
i've never perceived i'm fat i couldn't stand up for 15 minutes without getting wind you couldn't
stand i couldn't stand up for 15 minutes without getting winded at the
peak of because i was doing like 18 hour streams every goddamn day during covid that's great yeah
i remember i was a part of those yeah i was on i was watching them most of the time 11 a.m every
day i'd get up to watch everybody was like trapped indoors and like i had nothing else going on in
their lives they were all watching i was actually going on so many walks during COVID.
Yeah.
I was actually kind of chilling.
And then I got, I gained the COVID-15 and I haven't lost it.
Oh, cutie.
You look beautiful.
You look natural.
And beautiful.
You do.
I was just thinking about it.
You think about cutie?
You think about cutie's body all the time?
And how natural and beautiful it is?
No, not like that.
What do you mean not like that?
Why don't you think about me like that?
No, no, I do.
I sometimes envision how wonderful you look as a friend.
You're a pervert.
I'm not a pervert.
Can I win here?
No.
I can't win?
No.
I'm not a pervert.
I don't picture your body.
I really don't.
That's really fucked up that you don't think about it. No, no, no. no no no that was really straight and he's like thinking about your body it's kind of weird
you're like a sister to me that'd be weird do you feel like i'm a brother to you
are we like brothers or wait sister like sister are we uh are we like siblings would you say
uh i feel like i don't want you to be my sibling because siblings it's just a
different relationship like i feel like i don't i don't i'm not i don't have like a like i wouldn't
want you guys to beat up your sister no my sister's 10 years older my brothers used to beat the shit
out of me what are you i thought that was that's normal you probably deserved it cutie can i have some of your coffee i have a little bit thank you it's cold
sweet it's really good though yeah it's sugar-free i was ordering sweet i was ordering coffee the
other day and i had the most embarrassing moment of my life maybe why because i was sitting there
and i was like talking to the barista and i
was like oh my gosh the last time you made my coffee it was so good you made this cappuccino
it tasted so sweet did you add sugar to it or something he's like no and i was like wow it's
just like it was so good thank you so much you know he cummed in it no that's what i was gonna
get so what i said so what i, he didn't come in my coffee.
But what I said, okay, what I said next was I was like, oh my God, you put sugar in there
without putting sugar in there.
And then the other barista just looked at me like just straight face.
And I was like, oh my God, in my head, I'm like, oh my God, I just made it sound like
the barista come to my coffee.
And, and they just both looked at me like what and i'm like no no no that's
not what i meant and then i realized that they didn't even perceive that that's what i meant
so i just set out like so i just said i thought and then they thought that i said that and it
was so uncomfortable and i turned beet red next time you should just ask him to come in it no
i don't want i don't want anybody to come in my coffee.
I just, yeah.
Right.
What about Jacob?
A Lordy?
Who's that?
Oh, Calvin Klein model.
No, that's Jeremy Allen.
White.
Shit.
The salt.
Would you let Jacob already come in your coffee?
Do you guys want to see probably do you want to see peak body dysmorphia?
But okay. There's this so i'm
going to talk about this uh there's this tiktok has basically taken on a lot of the worst elements
of like red pill culture like incels online there's this concept called looks maxing right
now this concept is was very famous and very big and like uh far right circles
especially online was relegated to forums but now it's become super mainstream on tiktok
and it's basically like designed to make people suicidal um no straight up it's like imagine
unrealistic body standards that we see all over the media but this time they're like there's like a how-to of like why you don't have the unrealistic body standards wait like
basically like you can't achieve them yeah can you look up perfect face tiktok jacob alordi
oh my god so this account whether intentionally or unintentionally, maybe they're insane, takes like what is known as a perfect face and like art.
Good job, Marsh.
He did the puzzle.
He's not logged in.
What is happening?
Number one, he had to prove that he wasn't an alien.
Also, that audio, is that going to play on our podcast?
Why are you mad about it?
It sounds lovely.
I love that song.
It's Dean Martin.
Why don't, oh my God, why don't you be the Dean Martin to my Lady Gaga and we make an album?
Oh, I'd love that.
I've got to learn how to sing.
Wait, did Dean Martin and Lady Gaga make an album together?
No, it wasn't Dean Martin.
He died before Lady Gaga was relevant.
It was Tony Bennett.
Oh, Tony Bennett.
You can be the Tony Bennett to my Lady Gaga.
I'll do that.
You want to do that?
Yeah, but I need to get better first.
Well, I have a polyp.
Vocal polyp.
I forgot about that.
You used to talk about that all the time.
Anyway, Walmart is in the process of trying to pull this up.
This account, there's a concept in drawing and art,
like face proportions that are perfect.
So this guy, this artist, will take celebrities
who are already very attractive traditionally
and will put this perfect face thing on top of it
and change their proportions and the placement of the eyes you can see in the eyebrows
and all of that and like you know uh put like a you know buccal fat removal basically and you know
fix up the dark spots and whatnot to change already very attractive people and i feel like
this is this is the most fucked up thing um it's so popular
not just this artist but in general like looks maxing is very popular concept
jaws are size mewing there are all these things that men do i've tried you put your tongue does
it actually work no then how can i get a snatched jawline. I think that it's a lot of it is like genetic fat placement.
I carry, I get fat here first.
I'm pissed.
It's genetic fat placement.
What do I do?
There's not really much you can do about it other than like lose weight.
First of all, you're beautiful and natural.
I want to make that clear.
I keep saying I can't do anything.
Oh, no, no, you can't.
No, you lose weight.
That's it.
No, no, no.
At a certain point.
No, no, no.
There's a cosmetic procedure for that.
Yeah.
You can inject. You inject. It's Gabella or something, no. There's a cosmetic procedure for that. Yeah. You can inject.
You inject.
It's Gabella or something like that.
Kybella.
Kybella.
Yeah.
You inject it and it dissolves the fat underneath your chin.
Yeah, but I think it looks awful.
It hurts a lot.
It does hurt a lot, but it does work.
But you don't need it, first of all.
I do.
You have a chiseled chin.
I did just get laser on my face.
I got laser on my face.
Really? It didn't do anything
well it's because it says it takes four to six weeks i think you look beautiful
um the laser procedure from what i understand is actually pretty solid though that's like a
little different than like actually doing a low of the baby one i got this one to remove
redness no v-beam because my face is so red all the time there's a laser laser is also really good laser
also works for like removing scarring right if i'm not mistaken like scarring that you have from
acne and stuff like that and i like that i feel like that's a little bit different i mean it's
in the same it's in the same categories in the same field but like plastic surgery of that sort
that you just uh you just talked about is like i feel like it's becoming very it's becoming much
more commonplace than it once was due to i guess like medical availability and also mass consumption
and social media just like really really uh fucking people having coffee i know i keep i
keep drinking so i'm so like one so i wanted to i wanted to see if you guys.
Neither of you go on TikTok that much.
Are you kidding me?
I always scroll TikTok.
Oh, you do?
Do you not see this kind of stuff? No, I don't.
It's not on my For You page.
It's on my For You page a lot because I look at stuff like that a lot to see where culture is, I guess.
I keep getting ads for targeted ads for erectile dysfunction pills which which look and i know
how this sounds it basically means that like people are gonna be like oh you've been googling
because you can't get your dick card not true okay first of all i can get a lot of powerful
erection but they must think what i've noticed that like it wasn't it didn't used to be like this but now like i get a
lot of like super hot babes like selling bikinis and stuff and i'm like or like athletic gear and
i'm like but it's very clearly not they're not trying to sell it to the they're trying to get
you to click the link yeah i it's like i'm also a boomer so like i don't fully understand
when something is sponsored it takes me like at least like it takes me at least like five to ten
seconds to be like wait i'm watching a sponsored well i keep getting uh men like jockstrap ads
which makes sense that makes sense to me yeah because i sit and watch everyone these are
targeted because i get oil pulling ads for like your teeth.
Okay.
And have you been Googling that?
Because I, yeah, it's just, it's supposed to like help your gums or something.
Okay, so you've been Googling.
But the erectile dysfunction one is what trips me out because I do not have erectile dysfunction.
This feels like a self-report.
Who are you trying to prove this to?
Because TikTok has already made up its mind.
None of us accused you.
No, I know nobody accused me of having erectile dysfunction.
You didn't have to tell us.
I know, I didn't have to tell you, but I'm confident in my ability to get an erection.
Yeah, but is someone you're sleeping with, maybe you're insecure?
No.
God, no.
Are you kidding me?
It's like very powerful.
They're watching at home, and they're like, woo!
Yeah!
It seems like they're still trying to prove this is someone.
I've never had a problem.
One time, I had a threesome, and I couldn't get it up during the threesome.
Oh, I remember this.
Yeah, I could not.
We, we, we, we, it happened and we got down to it.
And I, you, you had, I could not too much.
You had a little too much whiskey.
I don't even have whiskey.
I just couldn't get it up.
The whiskey dick.
It was just, yeah, it was, it was unfortunate, but you know what?
It all, it happens sometimes.
Hassan, it's happened to you.
I'm sure where you can't get, you know why? I think sometimes. Hasan, it's happened to you, I'm sure. Where you can't get...
You know why
I think... Not really. No, okay. You know
why I think I got the Viagra ads?
I'm very overzealous.
Or Blue Chew? I think I
got the ads because I looked it up one time
because I was curious, like,
is it like a performance enhancement?
This is the part of the podcast
where Austin is... I'm trying to see if I can find one of these ads to show you. This is the part of the podcast where Austin is... I'm trying to see if I can find one of these ads to show you.
This is the part of the podcast where Austin basically tries to explain to himself
and to everyone else that he doesn't need the pills.
I mean, I don't.
Yeah, go ahead.
No, keep going.
I don't.
I'm not trying to explain or reason.
I mean, you could say I have whatever you want, but I don't have any.
I was curious if maybe if you take one for sport like you're thinking
of like the rhino pills yeah sell at the gas station yeah but it's it's not i've heard those
are good it's not safe evidently i looked it up i was like it's not safe neither is like cocaine
that's true i don't know i was just like oh this, oh, this, this is it. Savage X Fenty.
It's just underwear ads.
That's crazy that you're getting underwear ads and I'm not.
Yeah, it's Savage X Fenty.
Shop the latest drop.
And it's literally straight up like super revealing lingerie.
I think Hassan's been wearing women's underwear.
I think so, too.
Yeah.
I mean, listen, you can't get me on this.
I don't give a shit.
Yeah, I love women's underwear
I wear it all the time
But it's like
But it's like
Nothing wrong with that
This is a wild thing
For me to get as a sponsored ad
Because I feel like
Like what the fuck
Have I been searching
I mean you watched the whole thing
Just barely
Yeah
Yeah and I'm going back to it
It's a great ad
I mean congratulations
To Savage X Fenty
It's just like
You know
I mean you know I'm laying, a little too thick there.
Yeah, I think underwear is underwear is very sexy to me.
I think underwear to me is more sexy than like sometimes nudity.
Like some guy in underwear is so sexy.
I think that's the whole point, right?
It's a mystery.
Like Calvin Klein, like the sexy.
I like the thick waistbands.
You know what I'm saying? On men, the thick waistbands. You know what I'm saying?
On men, the thick waistbands.
What about you, Cutie?
What do you like?
The thick waistbands.
No, you can't repeat what Austin said.
What do you like?
I don't know.
What gets you going other than jocks?
I like a nice conversation.
A nice dinner.
I like being emotionally taken care of.
I think that's very important.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It is.
I actually messaged Slime today.
I was listening to The Yard.
And Ludwig is super into basketball now.
He loves it.
They play basketball once a week.
He's like trying to defeat me. And it's going to be so sad for him.
He's getting really good.
But it's funny because Slime described it as like a friendship slurry.
Because he like, instead of hanging out with one person, he's able to invite all of his friends.
Like a Sims party.
Interesting you say that because I'm never invited.
You are invited to basketball. You said it's too far away for you it's just i'm just
never invited it feels like i'm not included in these in the friendship slurry well and it's funny
because ledwig was defending he's like no it's not a friendship slurry that's not what i do
and i had to expose the slime and i can expose this because ledwig has since made up for it and
so it's fine um but the other a few weeks ago
I was like Ludwig we need to go on a date it's been a while would love to hang out with you I
feel like I don't see you he's very busy I'm very busy and he was like I invite you to play basketball
that is not you're saving grace to a day like that is basketball is not a date like that is
such a man it's so funny a date like that is such a man
it's so funny that's awesome that's such a man and he you know he believed when he was he joking
when he said that he believed it oh and then i had to be like no we had like intentional time but
we've gone on dates since then so we're it's safe we actually went we saw mean girls like
that's so cute what else do you guys do on a date yeah i'm kind of upset that i wasn't invited to mean
girls now yeah i'm also yeah it's like messed up that you guys don't invite me to that thing again
where we went to the theater and they didn't have any tickets and so we had to go to a different
theater he loves that they don't i i've never how the fuck was mean girl sold out i don't know
that's crazy because the other theater we went to we were the only ones
in the theater besides two other people i'm gonna text ludwig and complain to him that we never go
on dates anymore okay we used to hang out we don't anymore i think he doesn't like me anymore
you guys could stay at the same table at the streamer awards oh also bad friend never did
your voting on stream yes i did oh did you Oh. Did you vote for Name Your Price? Oh, excuse me. Who's the fucking bad friend, actually?
Is it me?
Or is it the person who was not even aware that I did it?
Sorry.
Well, you hadn't done it for a while.
Because my chat kept telling me you hadn't done it.
Yeah, except I did do it.
And you didn't even know I did it.
Well, they don't tell me good things, apparently.
Did you vote for Name Your Price?
No.
What?
No, I didn't. Name Your Price, your price by the way folks we need your vote uh it's up for series of the year you better have i think i did i
was on it it's up for series you owe me 25 series of the year hasan is up for best just chatting
will is up for best just yeah yeah i i already told everybody not to vote for me and vote for
will instead oh oh that's so sweet. How noble.
I mean, Will should win.
I think he was a better just chatting streamer.
I mean, okay, you don't have to be mean about that.
You don't need to compare them.
They're both good.
You've done that to me.
What do you mean?
You literally voted for your event.
It was 100 Thieves and we were both at 100 Thieves.
I never forget this.
You didn't even.
Okay, I understand.
It was like, who's the most talented person
in 100 Thieves?
I know Will was definitely
the most talented, but he didn't even
flinch.
He didn't flinch.
It's like, give me at least...
In Will's announcement video,
you had the funniest moment
you've ever had in your life. Really?
It was so funny.
When you're like
gotta let him dance i am a terrible actor i really want good i know i really try to be like
no i think you're great on name your price which i didn't vote for but you did we have that and
tickets are still available yes everybody if you're interested i bought one no you didn't okay
you're right tickets are available okay tickets we at? Tickets are available.
Okay.
Tickets are available.
If you want to attend in person.
Yeah, in person.
It's better in person.
Yeah.
I'm actually quite excited about all the big drama that you're going to reveal behind the
paywall.
Oh, yeah.
That you said you were going to do.
Oh, yeah.
No, no.
There's some...
We have some naughty...
I have a very intimate and uncomfortable story to share okay
it's very like it's very uh it's very personal but i think it's important to talk about okay i i
have a yeah i have a intimate story as well it's very personal and you may be disgusted by it oh
god oh jesus okay well if you want to check that out you have to go to patreon.com slash for your and. Yes. Where you can find us behind the paywall for an hour every week.
That's right.
We're going to be behind the paywall.
Join us.
Including other bonuses that come along with that.
Yeah.
On that note.
Go now.
I'm going to flash my boobs.
Oh, about my personal story?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'll tell it. Look, and you know what? Yeah. Let's hear it.
I'll tell it.
Look, and you know what?
I'm a human being, all right?
I want to start off by saying I'm a human being.
And sometimes... I'm nervous.
Sometimes human beings experience medical conditions, all right?
This particular medical condition was...
I was peeing and it started to burn a little bit.
No.
Okay?
Started to burn a little bit, right?
And I know everybody's thinking in the podcast,
they're saying, oh my God, Austin has an STD.
Not true.
Untreatable gonorrhea.
Yeah, not true because based on a variety of factors
in my personal life,
I will tell you that that is not really likely.
Can you get tested?
We'll get to that.