Fear& - HasanAbi Joins FaZe Clan | Fear&

Episode Date: April 29, 2024

Hello gamers what a wonderful day it is to faze tf up amirite? I'm so tired man pls help me✨ BONUS CONTENT ✨ PATREON - https://www.patreon.com/FearAnd🎧 AUDIO PLATFORMS 🎧  https://linktr.ee/fearand❤️ follow Fear&! ❤️Hasan: https://twitter.com/HasanthehunWill: https://twitter.com/TheWillNeffQT: https://twitter.com/QTCinderellaAustin: https://twitter.com/AustinontwitterMarche: https://twitter.com/MarcheFear&: https://twitter.com/FearAndPod00:00:00 - intro00:02:25 - qt isnt sexy enough for this podcast00:05:22 - dead mice in a bowl?00:09:27 - Poki QT goat debate 00:12:23 - Health talk00:15:10 - qt has heartbreaking news00:19:20 - faze extra filthy00:22:52 - faze kaeli back and forth00:25:40 - why does hasan know so much about this00:27:18 - even more faze 00:32:17 - is austin dying00:33:26 - america me up / draft day00:37:18 - college girlfriend interactions00:40:53 - music artist adhd00:45:00 - hasans gaydar is a little off00:46:23 - famous people need to have affairs00:48:40 - austins affair with ludwig00:50:10 - famous relationship advice00:54:22 - topic time, rip marche00:57:43 - austin is ready to fight adin ross01:00:00 - austin services the patrons #hasanabi #fanfan #podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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For free assistance, call the Connex Ontario helpline at 1-866-531-2600. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. He made a noise that I've never heard a human make before. He made a noise. I was like, yeah. Yeah. Are you guys ready? That's what he said. Listen, we went to Deadmau5 at the bowl last night. Okay. And for maximum efficiency, Marsh decided that instead of buying individual drinks,

we should only drink full bottles of wine. Three bottles later, it's a little rocky right now good morning good morning to those of the fear and podcast welcome to another episode where we are recording at eight o'clock in the morning wide-eyed and bushy-tailed we're fresh though fresh no willies which is like pissing me off a lot why because you're not a morning person yeah but i i we usually do this after we've all done like five broadcasts and you guys just tune out it's the it's just like pisses me off because i've known you for a decade plus yeah i never see you this cheery. I never see you this cheery. It's been an awesome time.

You have been. He came in first. He came in. He walked in before eight, which is crazy. Yeah. Which is not crazy, though. Let's talk about this part. Cutie was the last person.

Cutie, we actually tabulated. We did the math. Marsh just got here. You could have started without me you could not have started without march we did we did do some math we did crunch some numbers and we realized you've never been on time for an episode in our 100 episode run no not once not once i believe that i do i really believe it it's crazy i'm not gonna change i'm not at first it made sense At first it made sense.

At first it made sense because you were coming from an entirely different state. You know what I mean? You were driving from Nevada. Yeah. But now you don't live that far from me. No. I just don't. I just, guys. She's tired.

She's tired. It's so early. You have the floor. Go ahead and speak. Okay. I want to let everyone know that I just got accosted by words because I don't really know what accosted. I got accosted by words when I got here because I'm cozy. I'm in my sweatshirt.

I'm in my pants. I'm in my lulus. And these guys are like, cutie, you're not sexy enough for this podcast. This is completely erroneous. Completely erroneous. They say, Cutie, wow. The angle of this, you ugly bitch. That's crazy.

That's crazy. We didn't say that. What a mistake we made by letting this bitch talk. That's insane. This is why you should always silence women. Hold on, hold on. The way this happened, and you can verify if this is true. Cutie said, I don't like this camera angle.

It makes my ass look fat. And Hasan and I both went, yo, use it. That's right. Start showing some of that juicy stuff is what we said. Get us some viewership. Yeah, we were like, why aren't you looking like a harlot no no freaking you're not oiled up we said get those feet out like fan fan i do take my feet out and everyone gets mad at me it's like she's got little slits on the side of the pants like

that's not nearly enough bro that's not nearly enough we got a fucking mar Kart Grand Prix sweater on right now. No cleavage. What is this? Austin's not showing any cleavage. Yeah, you need to slut it up too. I'm sick and tired of being slut shamed. What? No, we want you to slut it up.

We are shaming you for not being a slut. People think that I'm eating ass all the time, fucking a bunch of twinks. Oh my God. I'm going to dress more appropriate and I'm not going to bring attention to my body. Brother, what are you talking? It's your only topic of conversation.

Moss's favorite thing is just to start new drama surrounding him. Start new lies surrounding him by just openly saying, oh, people are saying that I have a massive penis and I hate it. He's very Trumpian. Anytime he has a topic, he'll be like, people are saying this, folks are clamoring. I mean, they are. Folks are saying it.

Yeah, and then he gets bored of the lies. There's no lie. So then like three weeks later, he'll come on my stream and be like, why is everybody saying you and I are dating, Hasan? And it's like, bro, no one is saying that. That's funny, though. You're the one who tried to start it. And also that Hasan

drinks Starbucks coffee. That was funny, too. Oh, yeah. You are so bad at being gay. Like, you should be way messier. You should be a way bigger pathological liar oh so you don't think i lie enough yeah but don't actually because we will put you back in the closet okay if you keep that energy you guys are like my my keepers yeah well all right before we move off i gotta i gotta go back to dead mouse at the bowl last night because marsh and i for us

this was our heiress tour kitty oh wow i will admit something that's a good what i will admit something marsh and i both cried at one point it was very meaningful it was very emotional but the vibe what is the vibe was very good the vibe was very good except for one moment that I want to show it to you guys. And you guys can tell me. Please be the judge of this. So Deadmau5 brought out a number of artists throughout the evening. Okay. One artist that just kind of appeared on stage was Tommy Lee, the drummer of Motley Crue. Oh, Tommy Lee that was married to Pamela Anderson.

The robber broke in and stole the point. I know all the lore. I'm a Motley Crue fan, right? So I immediately identified that this was Tommy Lee. Now, we don't have all the footage from last night. I just took a quick video. No one's talking about this. But it is my impression and Marsh's impression that no one invited Tommy Lee on stage and that he just kind of appeared there.

Take a look. Take a look at these vibes. He's wearing the dream hat on the left, and he is tweaking right now. Wait. The vibes are really uncomfortable Everywhere But the vibes aren't just him I think Yeah who's the guy with the long hair doing this

No that's his producer That guy looks like Garth from Wait who's Where's Deadmau5 He's the one in the hat I thought he wore a mouse head He opened for himself Wait Will I'll be honest

I think maybe you guys were tweaking Wait they're talking to one another though I'm telling you the vibe was a little strange I think y'all were tweaking You think? You think it was a bottle of wine? No because I don't think I think the vibes are kind of strange

I thought the blonde You could have told me the think, I think the vibes are kind of strange. I think the, I thought the blonde, you could have told me the blonde guy was the one that was kind of strange. That's his producer. I thought all the vibes were weird. Okay. It looks like to me, it looks like four guys that stumbled into a garage sale that someone was selling a DJ and

they like all started tinkering with it like old white men do. Yeah. Yeah. What? That's just how I feel white men do yeah yeah what this is how i feel you guys don't want to hear how i feel no we need to silence this bit i thought it was great okay initiated no no no it was great no i like the tape we need you to speak i was laughing at your jokes please that wasn't a joke that was myie your feelings are funny if you run the clock you've talked you are naturally humorous and pretty and beautiful and natural valid yeah she's gonna make another oh she's gonna make another she's gonna make another compilation where she just stares

blankly into the distance while we're talking here so i will go to secret gardens in my mind did you i saw that cliff lyrics yeah yeah i could tell because they were bad i saw that oh you want to talk about old men at a garage sale oh no that bitch is writing lyrics with ai oh no and listen the chalk the lab with tattoos was a banger okay i want to go back to the 1830s minus the racism my anti-racist queen don't even get it started i'm tail i'm a swifty at least you didn't say with the racism no women's rights the yellow fever yeah the fucking dengue fever, bubonic plague. She's like, I want to

fucking get executed by a doctor for having gangrene. Bleeding with leeches was sick. Bloodletting. Oh, food's outside. Tell your brother. Tell the dog. Kaya, get the food. You're Kaya.

I'll go get the food. Kaya, get the food. You're Kaya. She will eat the food. I'll go get the food. Okay. It's a lot. That was nice of Austin. Let's talk soon. As soon as he's out of frame, he drops off. He's going to drop off. No, no.

He's not going to drop off. You want to take that bet? Can I be a shady bitch? Yeah. So Austin, the other week, he was mad at us. I won't leak too much why, but he was mad at us. And he had mine and Will's salad in his hand, and he threw it on the ground.

He did. So it kind of. Yeah. Yeah. I watched it happen. It's funny as hell. So I thought it was funny. He gets the food right now.

Yeah. Cutie looked at me at one point It was like It's gone now, QT It's gone It recovered, it recovered It does give me a little PTSD No, the food

But it was awesome Because it was a salad So he shook it He pre-shook it He just Kim Kardashianed the salad He pre-shook it for you You don't even appreciate it Dude this episode's great

See we're like happy and joyous We should always Yeah we should always Do it at fucking 8am Judy Yesterday you were coming off of Not one But two streams

And a podcast 11 hours on camera That's why they call me the goat But I'm just saying You would rather do that Than just break. Jesus Christ. Fucking Austin was on his pub show with Pokimane.

And he's like, name one woman. And Poki was like, name a woman on Twitch that's inspirational. No, he said, name your favorite women. And then she said, can I name streamers? And he goes, yes. And she's like. She's like, my friend. She goes, my friend Janet. I was sitting there there i was like pokey you bitch oh i'm right here yeah poking i have drama i don't

fuck with her it could be because that like your relationship started off with you having her as your wallpaper so i feel like once that happens like there's never yeah she really is the goat though i'm the goat nobody says that i re-injured my rib at the rage cage and this is just this is excruciating. Oh, you mean the Starbucks coffee? Yeah. You brought Starbucks into my household? That's crazy. I didn't.

No, it's because he forgot to order for me, so he had to split. That's crazy. He didn't order me a coffee. You better not have ordered Starbucks. This has beefifi on it. Yeah. And Kaya. Where'd this come from?

My mom made it. Aw. That's nice. Yeah. What would we talk about if we were alone? You and I, we have so much to talk about. Really? Are you kidding me?

I don't know if we could. I feel like I would just get mad at you. That's what you do anyway. Even if it's not just you and i jesus a lot of anger coming from you yeah i am angry what the fuck are we doing hey i am not a morning person or me neither i am a morning person in comparison to like the regular people who are not morning persons i'm not me until i've had my coffee i'm not this would be your best show because you are a person who have you have a battery and when that battery's gone you start doom strolling twitter oh no i don't have twitter on my phone anymore it's great for my mental health

you deleted i don't i don't use it anymore either i deleted twitter from my phone i tweet about like my shows fancy egg mcmuffin yeah you want no i don? No, I don't want it. I don't want it. I don't want it. I'm nervous about my cortisol levels in the morning. Is that stress? What? Yeah. I'm nervous.

My heart feels tight right now, and I'm drinking coffee. No, your heart should be able to handle it. I've looked into it. You've looked into her heart? Not her heart, but... No, your cortisol levels are sometimes high in the morning i'm worried about my heart too right now yeah you gotta get that ekg i want an ekg yeah you know you can buy one apple watch literally has like i know but i can't

find my charger i can't and it looks ugly yeah we don't what they sell they sell an ekg at target you can put your two fingers sent it to me wait did i really yeah oh my god i forgot about that we should buy it we should it's only like 70 bucks it's got like a 4.5 do you think the thing works there's this thing that you stand on and it shakes you and it's supposed to help clear out your lymphatic system and i keep people on tiktok with it it works probably can you send it to me no it doesn't no i know exactly what that is that's like if they have it at gyms that's what you're talking about right you hold on to it and it shakes your feet okay yeah i saw something ridiculous there was a workout you

know there was a you guys i'll shake you guys seen the ab shocker yeah you seen the ab shocking that is is that real no there's an ab shocker it's a Thames machine. Yeah, and it stimulates your ab muscles. So you think you can get six-pack abs with one of those things? No. Would it help tone you? It'll hurt. It'll hurt, definitely. But technically, you could use that because it is still activating your muscles.

People use it for recovery. That originates from physical therapy. So it's not going to tone my abs so i shouldn't buy one you know i think the pain is not worth the the benefits i guess no oh so it's painful because i i saw like one of those offices selling them for a thousand dollars still coming in here fiona no oh no you can. Well, if she comes in here, then Kaya's going to come in bouldering. If she comes in here and farts again. Oh, God.

That, too. That was awful. She do be having those thank you ones. Guys, I have really bad news. What's that? I didn't text you guys about it because I was waiting to tell you here. I. Sorry.

My moment. You ready? Yeah. I've been dropped from face they dropped me and they didn't tell me wow and i found out via the tweet control alt delete yeah i got deleted i heard it's because you're just like you're from like the corpo era and you weren't with the family well it's weird like, I really thought I was an original gangster. True. Can we walk it back quickly and let the audience know what you're referencing right now?

Yeah. So, yesterday. So, okay. Even further. You look cool. Yeah, you should keep doing that. I'm going to do this while you're talking because I'm just, like, this is, like, Begone Demon, demon like that type of shit to you because you're a woman i've been phased i just i can't tell i can't begin to explain to you how much i hate women guys

i will i need we need to go back even further so if you don't know phase it's a really cool religious cult um that hates women and gay people but also loves call of duty um so phase first started their little org and we love them they're so great and then they get bought out by big corpo they sell they get sold to the to the guys in the wigs corpo corpo and then banks is like hey what the heck but while corpo's there they sign a bunch of people they sign uh like like grace and i know i say grace because there's lots of drama Grace from Stranger Things one of my friends

she yeah we're friends we went and saw Christina Aguilera in a backyard which I tried to tell you guys about one episode but you never heard about how I saw Christina Aguilera in a backyard wow how would we have ever lived I cannot believe you saw Christina Aguilera in the backyard. Wow, how would we have ever lived? I cannot believe

you saw Christina Aguilera in a backyard. Our relationship, the trajectory of our relationship has been altered forever. Did she play Dirty? I don't remember. Did she play Dirty in the backyard? She sang one song and I don't remember it. Was it Like a Genie in a Bottle?

No. Well, then that's a waste of time. What songs does she have other than those two songs? Well, maybe if you would have heard about it. You are beautiful no matter what they say. Is that Christina Aguilera? Yes. Yeah.

Why are you getting mad? He's gay. How dare you? I feel like he's pretending to be gay right now. No, I love Christina Aguilera. Really? Name 10 songs. Name 10.

Okay, come on. That's ridiculous. That's like naming 10. Name one other than the three we just listed. Name 10 songs and maybe you can figure out which one cutie heard. There's no way. In the backyard. This is like naming 10 women.

I could name 10 Taylor Swift songs in two seconds. Yeah, because she's got 500 of them. Quick aside. I could name 10 Taylor Swift songs. Did you. Yeah, because she's got 500 of them. Quick aside. I could name 10 Taylor Swift songs. Did you see the stats video for name 100 women? Yeah. Did you see that he was like, and then there's Will Neff. You had the porn skit.

Who named 35 porn stars. Wait, you're the only reason why? I saw the stats and I was like, I saw 33, 33 porn stars. And I was like, well, like, did will not participate. Like, what happened? There's only 33. You need to do the 100 porn star run. So I told my girlfriend, I was like, Caroline, I bet I could clear this with just porn stars.

She's like, try. And I was like, okay, which is why I front loaded them all like that. But I could probably hit 100 on that. I think second with the most porn stars was Slime. Oh, for sure. Yeah. Makes sense. Slime could be a porn star.

Oh, for sure. You were seeing Christina Aguilera in a backyard. No, I don't care anymore. We're talking about FaZe. We're FaZe-ing up. We're talking about FaZe. So, Grace got signed to FaZe. And FaZe freaked out a bunch of the original gangsters.

Yeah. They freaked out a bunch of the original gangsters. They freaked out and they're like, why are you signing this cute little blonde girl? And there was lots of drama. And so then Faze was like, fuck this shit. And she left. But that was a big corpo decision. Anyway, they kicked her out. She left. She left.

It was like she cried because like one of the dudes was like, was like there was a lot of public pride because like one of the dudes was like he was evil what dude what's the name of that dude they all have names it's like zeppo zippy and boppy yeah it'll be like phase dick cancer what's up coming to you yo that name is actually gas though if i could go back and make my stream name dick cancer yeah i would be way better than yeah what's up it's phase dick cancer coming to you live today we're gonna talk about there's a there's a new meta going on people are naming 100 women i'm gonna name 100 qualities i

hate about women i mean my gamer tag isn't much better than that you're many of them were really bad Extra filthy? What was it? You had another one The Violator The Violator? And then he had this super lame one Rapscallion Dirty Rapscallion That one is like

How do you go from Violator to Dirty Rapscallion? You're such a theater kid I just Well, Rapscallion you're such a theater kid i i i just well rapscallion was from um uh the marvelous misadventures of flapjack which is one of my favorite cartoons oh i would love a pancake okay you want me to order one no from the griddle no because i'm going to disneyland after this she's going to disneyland all week yeah wait we gotta finish the i know we'll get there sorry let's get back to the face thing okay all right so anyway big corpa buys phase and makes a lot of decisions but then all of a sudden banks is like

i'm taking back what's mine yeah brother banks stands up peace be upon him he he buys it and also with you does he buy it yeah he i think he bought his interest back he bought his interest back brother banks is back in charge with cryptocurrency i hope with this cryptocurrency i don't even know what brother banks looks like anymore because his profile pictures are still nfts but he buys it back okay can i pause for a second this is unironic but you know all the face stuff aside brother banks that's my homie okay that's my homie we love brother banks go on why are you what are you afraid of he's afraid of going to an influencer party and not being welcome oh yeah oh yeah i always go to influencer party i brother banks has never. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I always go to influencer parties. Brother Banks has never been mean to me when I met him.

In fact, he was a little afraid of me. Banks was always nice when I met him. No, he was really nice. It was at a party. And I said to Ludwig, I said, I want a picture with Banks. And then Ludwig goes, Banks, my girlfriend wants a picture with you. And he goes, ooh, gonna like dog me Oh my god I said I would never

Brother Until now No I never dog him I'm not dogging him right now To be honest we're not even dogging him We're just recanting exactly what happened He's still my brother And ultimately what happened was

FaZe let go A large swath of their creators he had to get rid of all the crypto babies and then no sorry corpo babies and then tweeted control the lead yeah it was kind of badass but it was also really sad for wild i saw kaylee she loves phase and she's been signed with phase and, and she reps FaZe more than any of the other FaZe boys. And she just got axed? Yeah, and I guess she found out about it. All right, let's look at the back and forth

between Kaylee and FaZe and, like, some random person that chimed in, which FaZe Brother Banks responded to. Go to FaZe Banks' Twitter replies, and you will see a fuckfest, basically. He's just been, like like tweeting at people non-stop i don't know the intricacies of the like the inner workings of phase all that well but obviously he didn't just cut all the corpo people because nick mercs came during the corpo run uh so did phase ronaldo and those by the way, of course, shouts out to Nick Merckx.

That's my goat. Also love him, regardless of our falling out, because I made fun of Dr. Dix's divorce. You know, you're forever in my heart, Nick. That night that you signed to FaZe, that still is in the top of my DM inbox, when FaZe Clan took photos of us and we were partying. Anyway.

What the fuck is happening? Those guys were also in the Corpo era and yet they didn't get axed because they saw them as valuable FaZe Clan. Didn't your rage just join FaZe? Am I crazy? Yeah. Did he get axed too? No. They see your rage as

a valuable asset. I mean, he is. Your rage is dope. Yeah, I like your rage is like a valuable asset i mean he is your age is dope yeah i i like your rage as well i'm just simply stating that i think it seems like they wanted to maintain like a phase brand or something and make it just friends i noticed and you know just friends a bunch of people that don't know each other yeah you know who's not's not friends? Girls. Yeah, there are no girls. So do they have any women left in the org? I mean, that's kind of beast. Yeah.

Thank you, dude. Let's go. That's why we love Brother Banks. Okay, so hold on. So there's no more women left in the org after this? I don't know. I think the org has gone down to like eight people. Yeah, there's no women.

Okay. And I don't even know if he's like also doing something with Kanye West or something like with the porn stuff. Hey, FaZe, if you want to sign a girl, I'm right here. And a homosexual. I did. Every single person that keeps getting cut from FaZe, though, they all keep saying, yeah, they never paid me a dime.

And I'm like, why are you bitches putting their logo behind you then? I'm sorry. For the love of the game. That's so funny. Dude, if the Jets sign me They could have me for free No one can have me for free I do so much for free

He doesn't He pays for the house Bro, you literally have suggested paying rent What are you talking about? about i know but he won't let me know true thanks for that by the way thanks guys you're welcome is that why you brought it up what no no no it wasn't are you a mastermind no no no no no i was joking um he's actually nice never wanted me to pay rent they started off as just a bunch fucking dudes with big dreams right in our basement in ohio we got together and we were just like yeah yeah we were just

like fucking getting doinks and cod modern warfare 2 greatest era we're running the shoddy shoddy knife combos you know what i mean getting fucking flicks up and then this little youtube this thing called youtube comes around and we're like yo let's post these videos on youtube of me getting like triple i don't even know what he's saying like son you're going so deep you like you you sound like our 360 flicks need to be flicked up on youtube we post that shit turns out hella people like it out, hella people like it. Turns out, hella people like it. We get famous. We go to GameStop.

Everybody recognizes me. I'm FaZe Banks. You sound like a scarred ex-girlfriend or something. Yeah. Listen. Every single thing I mention

is actually FaZe lore. I wasn't even joking. And to sumate, women are ruining gaming. Okay. You know what else women are ruining? Football. Football? Especially Tell me else women are ruining? Football.

Football. Especially the NFL draft. Marsh, cue Eagle Scream. Cue American Leap. Oh, no. Wait. We're not finished. Graphic, graphic, graphic.

We got so much drama. Oh, you want to do more on this? We don't have to, but we got to. You can't just. We're just halfway in it. We didn't even get to the meat of the sandwich. The juiciness. What's the meat?

Are you mad? No, what's the meat? I didn't know. I thought that was the whole topic. Marsh passed out on the keyboard. Essentially, the biggest thing was Kaylee. So Kaylee gets a phone call while she's live on stream where she gets cut from FaZe. And so she tweets this thing out.

She said, I'm so grateful for all the opportunities. I'll never forget when I got the phone call and got asked to from FaZe. And so she tweets this thing out. She said, I'm so grateful for all the opportunities. I'll never forget when I got the phone call and got asked to join FaZe. The friends I made on the way, the support for my community, everything. Thank you guys for wishing them the best. But then Kaylee's on stream and she's like, yeah, I never got a dime.

Like, I never got a freaking dime. And FaZe goes, today sucked. I promise the only reason you let go was because a genuine relation couldn't really have ever been formed because of the nature in which you were recruited. He said today sucked. Yeah.

You were recruited, unfortunately, during the darkest era of phase. And we just have to wipe our plate clean at all costs. It's paramount to getting this brand at the vibes of this team, blah, blah. Essentially, he's like, it's all love. Like nothing. No hard feelings. I hope like blah, blah. But then Kaylee is on stream and she's like, it's not all love. Like nothing. No hard feelings. I hope like blah, blah. But then Kaylee is on stream and she's like, it's not all love.

She's like, it's not all love. And I'm going to be making a video. So we stay sad. That's how women be like. No. You know what I'm saying? That's our point, right? That's what we're.

We're pro phase. I thought we are pro phase. Okay. Then you have to be anti women, cutie. There's no. Yeah. I'm not like the other girl yes thank you yeah talk about how they suck and stuff yeah yeah we don't even belong on phase or in video games or in the

nfl yeah if you make another podcast you should just call it pick me's i go crazy no that's awesome um i'm not like the other girls all jokes aside all jokes aside uh what the fuck are these guys doing yeah sure it got owned by uh it got corpoed out they fucking did a spack it was a laughing it was a laughing stock of wall street but they dropped snoop dog no why do they have snoop dog that's the point like what the fuck are you guys doing i would sign snoop like like lil yachty at least i guess makes somewhat some sense uh there was there was a couple like football players that are also like gamers themselves but they've always been so clout focused i don't know how phase makes. They got to get back to the stuff that matters. 360 slicks.

Just to zoom out on this, I think FaZe ultimately is a portrait of the gaming in like a focus in that like all of eSports blew up in this huge way at one point and so much money was rolling in and all these orgs were really like expanding kind of exponentially and then kind of the bottom fell out. Right. Like all of a sudden all the investment dollars went away. Yeah. And there wasn't really the revenue stream that they thought they were. I don't know how FaZe makes money. Well, every org in its own way has like downsized right especially with like the popularity of league of legends and some of these keystone esports titles diminishing

now the difference is these other esports orgs didn't tweet out control alt delete after wiping the slate with people that were working at their company it's just yeah it's a very phase way to handle the reality of the industry yeah i uh i think that because of the the elon muskification or i guess like the late stage capitals era that we're in i feel like they're gonna succeed i just saw the reply from phase right there where he just called someone the r word yeah he's like i'm not corpo dude uh you're an r word i won't say it i won't even read it that's how woke i am anyway yeah um i see it yeah my my my is like, this is like fine. It's just a group of homies playing video games.

Great. Obviously, it's like pretty devastating for all the people that fucking lost their jobs. Overall, this entire industry is fraudulent. I want to get back to the OG phase anyway, where they throw dope ass parties with dope ass hot girls and dope ass hot tub. Wait, are you doing the character now? No. I'm just excited to go to the party. I just started getting serious, so she had to bring it back.

I want to go to the hot phase parties. Please, Brother Binks. I just think that, I mean, I guess if we're going to talk about like the positives of phase they are one of the and always have been one of the most diverse groups uh like one of the most diverse esports groups in general they have uh hella middle eastern dudes in there they got hella men and boys in there always uh a lot of bragging a lot of black and brown folks in there. They got hell of men and boys in there. Always. A lot of black and brown folks in there. Just no women. Austin, are you okay?

What is happening? Bro, you need to fix your fucking air conditioning. It's cold as fuck in here. No, it's not. It's hotter than shit. No, it's literally so cold that I'm wearing a jacket. I'm sweating. I'm sweating in this chair.

What is happening? Do you have to poop? No, I don't have to poop. Austin, this might be a you thing, big dog, because it is cold as fuck in here. Am I having a panic attack or something? Hold my hand for a second. Feel how cold my hand is. Wait, but feel me.

Yeah, you're warm. Burn it up. Feel my back. I don't want to do that. It's hot. Do you have air conditioning that works? Austin, we are sitting in the air conditioning that works. It's so cold. Four other people in the room have said air conditioning is actually very cool right now.

I could use a blanket right now. Really? I'm so cold. Feel my back. I don't want to feel your back. I hate touching people. I think it's because I just drank coffee and it was hot. I'm sorry. I'm good. I think it's because I just drank coffee and it was hot. I'm sorry.

I'm good. I'm good now. I like that your immediate response, though, was like. Why don't you have some iced coffee? That'd be a good idea. But I don't want to derail the conversation anymore. No. Go ahead.

I think that was the meme. I think we're done with it. That was the meme. We're done. We're done. Let's see where it goes. American me up. Mars, pull it up.

Cute eagle scream. He's throwing up in the bathroom. Yeah, Mars left. Fireworks on screen. Go back to my previous segue that I cooked up that was great. So today, guys, I don't know if you know what happened over the last three days, but it is one of the biggest institutions in sport, the NFL draft. Yes.

Yes. The NFL draft. I sent you links on, there you go. So I don't know if you know this, Cutie, but the NFL draft is where every year all teams select their players of the future. Right. We talked about this.

We taught her. Remember? Yeah. I learned all about it. You don't watch football, but I know about the draft. Well, it's a big deal. Sometimes. Sorry, I'm holding this and it kind of looks like I'm holding my penis.

And I wonder if you guys were boys. Is it fun to just sit here and hold your penis? Big time. Sometimes. There's like nothing to do with my hand, but I'm holding my little bare penis. I hold my cock when I sleep. Oh, me too. You do that too?

Yeah. Oh my God. I think I would do that. I don't do that. Wow. That's crazy that you do that. I thought it was like weird that I do that. I just like having stuff in my hands.

I hold my webos, but that's neither here nor there. Draft. So everybody watches the draft together. What the heck? Not me. Why didn't I get invited? Well, you can watch it.

I did a broadcast. Oh, yeah. It's because you're dating a theater kid and not a jock. But a big part of the draft. And you never had the making of a varsity athlete. The way it works is the coach, the GM, and the rest of the staff of the team will call the young athlete and be like, hey, in this example, CD Lamb, we're taking you with the 11th pick. Wait. Welcome to Dallas. So they're not.

I thought, oh, my. What? Okay. I thought this was like deal or no deal. And like all the boys are in the background and they wait until they get called and then they jump up and they're so excited. They're at home. So only like the top 30 prospects will be at the draft. Anybody outside of that will be at home for a draft party.

But not necessarily. Some of the top 30 prospects are at home. I think they make the choice. No, I'm saying, but usually outside of that, those people are not. Do they know that they're going to get a call or not? So no one knows for sure if you're going to be drafted or when you're going to be drafted. You can make a good prediction on the first two rounds of guys, but 257 players are selected at the NFL draft every year.

So you're telling me someone could be at the grocery store thinking, man, there's no chance. And then they most likely not. So you have to declare for the draft. So, for example, I declare for the draft. One really funny example this year is the Jets drafted a guy named Jaquiz Stingers, who never played college football. Whoa. He played in the CFL and they gave him a call and, and he didn't really know if he was going to get the call or not. Where was he?

Uh, I'm not sure. I didn't see video of that, but like one kid, Brendan rice was actually at a funeral. Oh shit. Yeah. Damn.

So that's awkward. But like also some people are sitting here thinking they're going to get the call and sometimes they gonna get the call And sometimes they never get the call So this is CeeDee Lamb right here Okay CeeDee Lamb is a top prospect He knew he was gonna get the call

He looks cool Yeah he's very cool So he's with his family And this is a draft day party Right And a lot of athletes Will do this They need more snacks

Where they think When they think They're gonna get the call Their family and loved ones Will get together Imagine they don't to get the call, their family and loved ones will get together. Imagine they don't get the call and all the family and loved ones are together. This has happened to athletes. This has happened.

All right, ready? Now, there is something that has happened over the history of the draft. Okay. And it's become a trend. Okay. And it is the college girlfriends of NFL athletes all of a sudden realizing that their mans might be leaving the equation. And there is a highlight reel of very awkward interactions with the girlfriend.

Let's pull up C.D. Lamb. See if you can notice what happens here, cutie. His girlfriend on the right. Oh, she goes to take a look at the phone and he says, nope, I'll take that back. Back. Give me that. So pause. So this moment has gone very viral.

Why did she take it? She wanted to look at who was texting him. And he went. Nope. Because now he's getting all these congratulation texts. Oh, and he. Oh, let me tell you. You know who's not from?

Not Bill Belichick. Wait. Not Robert Kraft texted him congratulations. and he's so scared about that. Yeah. Can I be devil's advocate? Sure. Brittany Renner. Because he was on the phone.

What if that was her phone? Maybe. Because maybe that's her phone in his hand, but he's on the phone, but he's trying to text his mom from her phone. Could be. We only get a glimpse. Here's another glimpse. This is another interesting thing that happens. Sometimes

the athletes need to be protected from their girlfriend by their mothers. And this has happened a week. Take a look. This man has just been drafted. Congratulations. Big tackle in Isaiah Wilson from Georgia.

Get this bitch out of here. Big tackle And Isaiah Wilson From Georgia Came from Brooklyn Get this bitch Out of here He didn't have time To adapt to the Heat and conditioning In the south Playing at Georgia

And now he'll be playing Before the tennis Pause So She said I don't want you In the footage What year What draft was this

Dr. Umar approves I think this was Three or four years ago This dude Oh yeah look at her She's loving that She's on the camera. Yeah. She got the poly prep jersey on and she gets bounced.

Dr. Umar approves of this. The behavior of the mother. Are they still together? Oh, hell no. And so there's another example of this. If you go to the Olu Fashinu one, this is in this draft. Not this one. Save this one. This one. So this is Olu Fashinu one, this is in this draft. Not this one. Save this one.

This one. So this is Olu Fashinu. This is this year. Watch Olu's mom. He's got so many friends and family. Yeah. Watch his mom, though, box out his girlfriend here on the left side. This is, she could play O-line.

Like, watch this. Watch this box out. Oh, my God. line like watch watch this watch this box out oh my god oh my god yeah just boxing her out that's a jet right there baby you think she was doing it on purpose? That one doesn't look as intentional She's trying to get a leg grab in She's like no At least she's being good She's not making it about herself really No I don't think her mom was doing

Oh look see See the mom Oh that's sweet though That's super sweet I love that I want to get drafted This is just a humorous I know but that wasn't even That was a sweet. I love that. I want to get drafted. This is just a humorous. I know, but that wasn't even, that was like, I even, that was a sweet moment for me.

I like the mom. Close this one. This one's not as. So that's Olufashinu, by the way. Uh-huh. New York Jet. 11th player selected off the board. He's going to protect Aaron Rodgers' blind side.

We should draft more. Wait, Aaron Rodgers is still. Yes. Yes. Yes. Listen, Hasan, your body is like a 60-year-old because you pumped it full of Pfizer chemicals. You're vaxxed, and your body is melting like an old bag of ice. Counterpoint. Counterpoint. Counterpoint Travis Kelsey.

Bagged a hottie. Literally the it boy. Also has a Super Bowl ring. Played more than four four down and he loves vaccines and he loves vaccines also second counterpoint ever since i got the gay autism vaccine i have literally shed pounds right i'm in the best shape since the peak are you on ozempic no oh that was drama why okay if. Are you on Ozempic? No. Oh. That was drama. Okay. If I was on Ozempic, brother, I would have lost all the weight way fast. Yeah, if I was on Ozempic, you guys would fucking know it.

Last video. It would not have taken me two years to lose 40 pounds. This is maybe one of the most famous. Okay. This is dangerous Russell Wilson on his draft night. Okay, I know Russell Wilson. With his girlfriend, who would later be left for Sia. What does Sia mean?

His wife. His wife, yeah. Left for Sia. Like that's her name. Oh. He didn't mean like he left for Sia. Like Sia, like the chandelier singer. No, no.

Is it Sia? Wait. I don't think he's, I don't think Russell Wilson is the Sia, the chandelier singer. I know that's beautiful. You really hit that. Wait, Sia? That's who he's married to? Yeah, yeah.

No, Ciara. Sorry. Oh, fuck. He's dyslexic. So Ciara, like one, two step. Ciara. Yeah. Ciara.

It'd be pretty funny if he left for Sia, though. Ciara? I'm sorry. I'm dyslexic. Is it seriously the same one that did one, two step? Let me pull it up. I don't listen to her music, but I know he's married to a famous beautiful woman. It'd be pretty funny if Russell Wilson married this.

Yeah, that would be a very different story. Okay, play the video. It is. It is. Oh, nice. So this is his girlfriend who he would marry, but everybody kind of knew on draft night. See if you can identify who his girlfriend is. The Seattle Seahawks select Russell Wilson, quarterback, Wisconsin. All right, we're going to zoom out here a little bit.

Hold on. Let's go, baby, he says. Oh, geez. 74% of the team said an MC. Oh, geez. That's my nightmare. My nightmare is my boyfriend gets into the draft and I make a weird ass face on the video. This is my new nightmare. Well, don't worry.

Your boyfriend's not getting drafted for nothing. maybe the military maybe the military nah his ass is we should do military drafts like this you're at home you're going with your family and it's like the army yeah thanks coach i'm ready yeah no i just wanted to share with you guys because i know you're not huge football folks you too but the draft is pretty excellent it's a little glimpse into the athletes nights and it gets you excited because you get into the parasocial element of like this guy's on my team well i never thought that is like so true like their lives are changing yeah once yeah once you it's oh you're it's over yo if you're in a relationship and the guy yeah it's over do you think so yeah no i mean it's not for sure it's not a for sure okay yeah because there's some that go in married like the vikings drafted a guy jj

mccarthy he's married with a wife and everything well people people also do this when they're like famous like no like jeremy allen Allen White was a dipshit. Left his wife and kid. Barry Dixlinger. Coke Kogan or whatever his name is. Left his wife and kid. Wait, Barry Keegan's not gay? No, he's with Sabrina Carpenter.

I'll be honest. If I win an Academy Award, I got to fuck around. No. Wait, wait, wait. Barry Keegan's not gay at all? No. He had a wife and kid. No.

Not even a little bit? He looks like a lesbian woman. Like, I thought. You are such. You're a bitter little bitch. For how progressive you are, it's so crazy how you have these tits. He's not even 6'4". He looks like he's kind of a f***.

Wait, did you know from the jump that he wasn't gay? Yes. Wait, he... That actually makes the Saul Burns shit genuinely impressive. How? It's not impressive a gay man does it?

Guys, let me explain something, though. We have to dial back. Other than the fact that Barry Keegan is not gay. Do you think Barry Keegan actually slurped real cum out of the bathroom? No, obviously not. I mean, does he need to be gay to do that? No, obviously not. Straight men can slurp cum, too.

Yeah, exactly. Have you ever gotten high on your own supply? No. You ever eaten your own. I hated that sentence. Listen, listen, listen. Have you ever eaten your own? Maybe it's because he's Irish. I don't know. That's wild.

That's insane. I never knew Irish people acted that gay. Listen, alright. I'm going to dial something back. When you're super famous, you need to have affairs. No, Will. So that you can stay in the news cycle. That's a good point.

That's why they do it. No, that is not why they do it. Yes. No. Hold on, Will. Their publicist comes in and they're like, Barry, you're blowing up, baby. You're blowing up, baby. Wait.

We need to get you a hot toddy affair. Will, are you saying that most people that get married Because most people that get married aren't famous They settle No I'm saying that you need to Have a spicy affair To make it in people magazines Do you think everybody should have a spicy affair

If you win an academy award I think it's supply and demand I think that's the weird thing with fame Can we talk about the bitches? That all of a sudden, Ludwig gets famous because I was with him when he wasn't famous. All of a sudden, he gets a bunch of viewers and these motherfucking ladies,

not nice, slide in his DMs. They still do it. Name names, cutie. What sort of things do they say? Hi. Okay, that's benign, right? Or a hey. A hi with a little smiley face.

Dude, awesome. Is it a smirk? If a girl sends me more than three eyes, she wants to suck down on my hog. Is that how girls are? What? Sorry, I'm still... I'm literally doing a deep dive into Mary Keegan. Do they send them n literally like do they like send him do they send him like do they send him like or do they there's levels to even worse they send him

emoji oh god no no you know it's bad when they it's not emojis they type out the smiley face no they're trying to they're trying to fuck yeah okay I'm not being delusional here, for the record. I know when a girl's not flirting, when she's just saying,

hey, but if I told you the names, you'd be like, oh. Anyway, but there's... Tell us the names after the stream. There's been a few. And there was another girl at TwitchCon that went up to him. Are there any that we wouldn't expect?

No, I don't think so. We would expect all of them. Can we take that again? Are there some that we wouldn't expect? Yeah. Oh! He's just such a hot commodity. Be honest.

He's tried to fuck Ludwig before, right? Yeah, I know. That is not true. I haven He's tried to fuck Ludwig before, right? Yeah, I know. That is not true. It's absolutely true. I've never tried to fuck Ludwig. You have literally... Okay, I'm going to give you a scenario. I'm going to give you a scenario.

I'm going to give you a scenario. Look, look, hold on. You guys are at TwitchCon EU or something. All of a sudden, in the bathroom, Ludwig's there. Okay, keep going, keep going. He pushes you up against a wall And says, I bought them for you It's not happening Yeah, but that's

I'm backed into a corner in that situation I'm backed into a corner I gotta fuck my way out of Yeah, exactly I mean, I don't know what I'm Cutie, with respect What am I supposed to say in that situation? You're in a committed relationship.

Imagine that phone call. Cutie, I had sex with your boyfriend. That would be the best pod. No, Austin wouldn't even tell me. I'd like find out through somebody else. To be honest, no. Ludwig and I are friends. You'd find out through Aiden.

No, I'm going to be honest. Can I come to his defense? What? He might fuck Ludwig, but he would tell you. Because his guilt would eat him alive. he would tell you because his guilt his guilt would eat him alive tell you you'd tell caroline caroline would tell me no austin would tell you no i i would probably just not do it no he would not he would do it and he would not tell anyone no i i've too much anxiety for that i would ask you no i'm more likely to ask you for permission than I am to your boyfriend is gay yeah but all of this to say I think like literally people get famous and they

start getting like an onslaught of messages and interest and then it's just like new and exciting and then they leave their wife you don't think that it's also because like as people become famous I get the opposite thing but i also think there's something weird where i think they joined the illuminati no no you guys know this you guys you guys know this when you become a public figure uh-huh your life your interests a lot of things change and for certain people i think it is hard to relate to a partner if they don't have this like jaded worldview now. And I think that happens to a lot of folks. No, it's interesting because it's hard to understand the lifestyle of somebody that is in the public eye unless you're in it yourself.

I mean, we're not really in the public i mean you know relative to like a celebrity well you're the twink guy well i mean that's what people call me but you know it's different it's different and you have to and sometimes it's a little bit of an adjustment and the problems that we have are problems nobody wants to hear about yeah right and sometimes that's difficult in a in a relationship so finding somebody that's why a lot you see a lot of people dating within the industry i think it is infinitely better if you are fortunate enough to fall in love with someone be in a relationship with someone before you become super successful especially because that means oh my god he's just trying to get my attention

while i'm trying to talk over here what did he do did he moon God, he's just trying to get my attention while I'm trying to talk over here. What did he do? Did he moon you? No, he's just trying to flip me off. No, he's not mooning me. He's trying to flip me off. That'd be so cool. Your dad is fucking funny. Okay, let's just get back to it. I was making a good point, God damn it.

I don't know if you were. No, I think if you're very... A lot of people don't realize it, but you're very fortunate that you met someone that likes you for who you are and not for your status or whatever the fuck else you bring to the table. Not to say that that's the only thing that people care about when you are famous, but it's definitely not that because you were broke when you met this person. So you're actually in the best possible scenario because neither of you guys were shit when you uh started dating ludwig and now you're both wait no she was famous yeah she was famous okay both of you guys were nowhere near as famous as you guys were and also you have the benefit of being because you're a woman i was i was literally gapping both of you i was clearing both of you i was like who omega lols left and right who the fuck are these guys no i was on your i was trying to date you when they was true i remember when they met you

i was building your career i recall it was terrifying that's also true anyway um the point i was trying to make is that like then you you don't have any uh you don't have any confusion about why this person uh was with you ludwig only dates me for my money, and I know it. And my double Ds. Yeah, you'd sick. Do you guys not understand that? Do you not feel that? It's a Patrick Mahomes situation.

Him and Brittany? But that's the worst example. They're like high school sweethearts. That's the worst example. Why? Is there drama? I know nothing about them. No, I mean, like, he's great.

He's awesome. Okay. Kenny Powers, baby. There's another. Steph Curry. Isn't his high school sweetheart his wife? Steph. She's a goddess.

Yeah. They have beautiful, awesome kids. Yeah, I'm just trying to think of people that are like, you know, took the. LeBron James. Well, I don't think didn't he cheat on his wife never he would never do that my goat would my goat would not do that he would not goats and all of the things that people say that he has cheated this white supremacy talking oh yeah that's's right. It's racism.

It's racism. That's what it is. Okay, let's move on from this topic. Let's move away from LeBron hate. Stop LeBron hate. I don't hate him. Austin, I'm sad because you need your clips. We have a few more minutes left

in this episode. I haven't talked a lot this episode, which is totally fine. I think people needed me to be silent. Silence is violence, Austin. They needed me to be silent. Why did they need that? Because now they'll have to find a new problem. What?

I've got a few topics. Okay. I didn't have to say shit. We lost Marsh. Yeah, he's not here. Marsh! It's okay. I've been checking the time. I can see it. Yeah, he's not here. Marsh! It's okay. I've been checking the time.

I can see him. What's going on? Are you all right? I don't think he's well. I don't think he's good. Podcast topics. I'm the producer now. I can see the button.

I'll push the button. He's with Fifi. This is stupid. These are dumb topics. Austin, I'm just trying to give you... Give us a dumb topic right now. Give me a dumb topic right now. I wrote down there's an entire nude cruise.

Austin, that's not how you do topics. You say, have you guys heard about this entire nude cruise? Well, this is another airport-related topic. Marsha is laughing. Marsh is laughing from the couch. Oh, oh, oh. I got XQC. I got some drama.

XQC recently got called the F slur by one of his friends within the kick community for kissing me. Evidently, he was in a call with a bunch of people, and somebody showed a photo of XQC. We can probably pull it up in post because he's not here. I've got it. But there's a photo of XQC kissing me. Don't fuck it up, please. And he gets called the F slur, and then there's like this all this drama and people are trying to like investigate whether xqc is gay or not and what's crazy is

through all of this drama i never got called the f slur right throughout the whole thing wait oh your drama is that they're not calling you the f slur i don't want them to call me the f sir but it's why i kind of want them to call you the f no slur? I don't want them to call me the F slur, but it's wild. Do you kind of want them to call you the F slur? No, no, no. I don't want them to call me the F slur. I'm just saying that it's just crazy that the gay guy didn't get called the F slur. Swap out, swap

out, swap out. That's not the right photo. Was that you in the XQC? Judy, that was phenomenal. Thank you. Thank you. Congratulations. But anyway, yeah, the drama is Was that you an excuse? Cutie, that was phenomenal. Thank you. Thank you. That was not. Congratulations. But anyway, yeah, the drama is, well, the drama isn't that I wasn't called the F slur, but it is interesting.

I googled gay boys kissing. Do you think you weren't called the F slur because you are actually gay? No, I think they just didn't care about shitting on him at all. I think we need to take this F slur. I think we need to take the word back as we have. And we need to use it for homophobes. Why is my armpits on your front page? So we need to take...

That's anti-piker. What the fuck, Hasan? Armpits kind of look like vaginas. Pull that back up. No, don't pull my pits up. Did you just look at Hasan Piker's armpits and say that looks like a vagina? Oh, no, baby. Get back to the F slur.

I don't care. Fuck it. I don't care. I thought it was. I thought it was. Just admit it. Do you miss XQC? No, I don't care i i thought it was i thought it was just admit it do you miss xqc no i don't care do you miss his luscious lips huh do you miss his luscious lips i don't care f-slur whatever cares i think it's awesome i think it's kind of funny that xqc and and i guess like

you're hot too it too It's wonderful watching like Stupid fucking subreddits Like decide on a whim As soon as like a couple of their favorite content Creators turn on certain Topics change their attitude dramatically Like now I guess

Diverselli and XQC both are Anti like Homophobia and transphobia so lsf is now all like yeah these guys are fucking so stupid and and they hate trans people like look how dumb they are and xq actually did a phenomenal job as a matter of fact i can't believe i'm saying this defending trans rights uh against adan ross which is know, not the boldest or bravest or most intelligent interlocutor. But still, you know, the conversation was had. And now all the juicers are pro-trans.

But I have a fantasy. And it's being called the F-slur. Not being called the F-slur. Like, that'd be a horrible thing to happen. But it's, and I'm not a confrontational or violent person. But if I got called the F-slur, the fantasy is to beat the shit out of that person and spit on them and then call them the f slur wow back i don't know why my response to homophobia is to be more homophobic to that dude creator boxing you verse whoever says it the f sir-slayer? Yeah. I mean, that would be... And I would come out and

whoop their ass in pride shorts. That'd be funny. I mean, that's pretty sick. Yeah, you know how they have the nickname across the belt for a boxer? It just says, Bussy. Wait, that's awesome. Yeah. I actually, I may do that. Just no punching in the face.

Wait, I wonder if Aiden wants to fight. I don't think Aiden wants to fight. You would have to cut a lot of weight, I think. You think so? Yeah, I think he's a lot tinier than you are. I don't weigh that much. I weigh like 158. I bet you'd have to get out of the world. Him and I probably weigh the same. I'm guessing. Austin wants to box.

Aiden Ross. He doesn't have the same amount of muscle, but him and I definitely weigh the same. For sure. I like that. Okay, we're at an hour. Hey guys, I have an announcement for the Patreon because I want to service the patrons. I'm starting a new segment on the Patreon.

What? I'm going to service the patrons. No, no, no. Say it like that. Austin is going to service you. All the patrons are going to get in the line. On the Patreon, we're going to drop a phone number that you can call and you can leave messages. And I will be answering and listening to your voicemails with one or myself of our crew.

We're going to put Austin's cell phone number on the Patreon. We're going to do this. Hold on. I'm trying. Oh, my God. I'm trying. I'm trying. Hello? my God. I'm trying. I'm trying. Hello?

I like it. Okay. I'm going to listen to and answer voicemails of those on the Patreon with myself and hopefully one of these co-hosts. I'll do it. Okay. We'll do it. We'll do it once a week.

I have a ghost story. We'll rotate. Thanks, guys. We'll see you in the Patreon. Bye. Peace. No, I once fucked so hard I passed out. There you go. Mid-sex. Because I was like

late teens. And I was a really girl that I wanted to impress. She did this. She was like, keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going. And I was like really past the threshold. It was hot. It was summer in Princeton. And I just fainted.

Did you finish? No, I fainted. But I know you got back up. You got back on the horse. Oh, I got back on the horse. I know you did. I know you got back on the horse. Judy, have you ever nutted so hard you cramped up? Sometimes I nut so hard I get the period asshole cramps. It's crazy.

Hell yeah, bro. That's what I'm talking about, sister.