Fear& - Hasanabi - Making a Streamer | Fear&

Episode Date: May 27, 2024

✨ BONUS CONTENT ✨ PATREON -   / fearand  🎧 AUDIO PLATFORMS 🎧  https://linktr.ee/fearand❤️ follow Fear&! ❤️Hasan:   / hasanthehun  Will:   / thewillneff  QT:   / qtcinderella  Austin:   / austinontwitter  Marche:   / marche  Fear&:   / fearandpod  00:00:00 - Everyone is cooked00:01:44 - ludwigs bucket challenge00:04:27 - qt needs another kind of bucket00:05:45 - episode 96 pt 200:10:32 - wet nurses coming soon00:12:17 - what is he yapping about00:14:30 - bradly hitler00:16:35 - shallow hal in 202400:21:39 - lady makes her own birthday00:24:00 - stitch incoming!00:27:10 - is based not based00:29:39 - EDC is currently peak00:33:10 - hasans alternate path in life00:36:10 - the pods calling cards00:38:34 - I want to play a game00:40:09 - austin didn't do it00:41:30 - fast and furious00:44:20 - intimate inanimate 00:50:06 - fear&after dark#hasanabi #qtcinderella #podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Have you thought about this? Will, you got it. You got it you got it baby ladies and gentlemen welcome back to another episode of the fear m podcast where we are all collectively barely holding it together yo speak for yourself bro i'm fucking i'm a beacon of resilience you were 30 minutes late for a podcast in your own house yeah that is true it's because you're on a streak in my defense i was getting fucking doinks and also i didn't think cutie would make it doink you're playing a video game no i was playing basketball with a nice wig and greek which i invited you to which you didn't show up to and i invited him you're you're weird he was fucking weird he knocked on my door at 8 30 and said hey you want to go ball no yeah it's just

you and like grandparents power walking that's not true we have a solid ass squad out there oh really yeah there was uh there was a lot of there was a lot of buckets being thrown around i got i got on though nice wig and greek hooked me they're lethal shooters um this is definitely not something in the realm of interest of the podcast however this one aspect of it is um ludwig oh he did a 1000 bucket challenge yeah took him like three days didn't it uh no it took him seven hours which i i do have to compliment him on this um i didn't think that he'd be able to do it. I didn't realize that you could even, like, I didn't realize he would be able to physically make 1,000 three-point shots in less than 12 hours.

And it took him only seven. And I talked a lot of shit beforehand. I talked a lot of shit after. And he challenged me. Ooh. So now I have to do it as well. So, like, when i go out there sometimes when i go out to the outdoor courts i'll just like test it i'll be like how many how

many minutes does it take for me to get to 10 if you have someone feeding you a ball i'd say you're four hours and 30 minutes i think i could yeah i think i could do it in in under four hours this is why he wants me to come he needs a a ball feeder. Exactly. Well, no. I didn't hear from him forever. And he was like, yo, what's up, dude? Did you want to maybe go and do a challenge? Yeah. No, no, no.

For charity? No, I already have a ball feeder. It's not that. Oh, shit. I need someone. Are you paying him? No, it's going to be nice. I need someone to not just like

throw the ball, but more importantly, just like keep people entertained. That's it. Just like someone who will fuck around and talk to the camera. Will can't help himself now. Will's like, oh, no, no, no. It's like Batman and the bat signal.

That's why I asked. Somebody be entertaining. I know his ass is going to yap. Plus, there's going to be challenges and stuff. Will, come on. Let's yap together. There's going to be challenges and stuff, too, involved. Like, when we get to, like, 50K, I'm going to have to, like, shoot for 10 minutes with a blindfold on. Like, that sort of thing.

Oh, this is the thing. You've thrown in so many different, like, variables. It's going to take you, like, seven days to complete this challenge. The whole point is that it will be difficult. I might not even reach a thousand, but I'm doing it to raise money. And at a certain point, I think we'll see.

We'll look through the challenges. If you want, we can look through the challenges together even. Maybe a good Patreon exercise. Yeah. Because the challenges were made by morgan you don't get an extended plug you fuck um wait what no i'm not trying to i wasn't trying to plug anything i'm just is that why you brought us here yeah yeah i was like can

you guys please yeah can you guys please help my stream that's why i was here yeah uh doing the fear and podcast but uh yeah no it's gonna be... I just needed people that would be good on camera and knows the stream, knows the community, knows the vibes. It's nice of you to think that we'd be good on camera. So I thought you and Will would be perfect for it. That's really nice of you. How are you feeling?

She said she needed a bucket before we started, dog. I'm going to need a bucket. By the way... Not for her pussy, folks. I'm going to go on the record. This poor bitch in the group thread was like i'm dying i didn't sleep at all i think i'm gonna throw up and i was like cutie take the day off marsh was like cutie take the day off these two slave driving mans were like it's fine

show up dude austin called me that exactly austin called me i will defend austin austin called me he was like oh did you see what Cutie said in the group chat? And I was like, I didn't see it. I don't care. Yeah, it was Sasan. It was me. It wasn't me for once. You can blame me for it.

Thank God. Oh, my God. This is such a... Cutie, thank you. I started vomiting at about 2 a.m. And I didn't stop until about 5.30 this morning. Okay, you didn't describe that part. Yes, you did.

Oh, you did? Yes, you did. Okay, I didn't see the text messages. I did. That's the first thing I said. Hey, guys. Yes, you did. Oh, you did? Yes, you did. Okay, I didn't see the text messages. I did. That's the first thing I said. Hey, guys, morning you. I only saw, I'm not feeling well. I sent a text at 4 a.m.

Hey, guys, morning you. Been up all night vomiting. And Hassan's response was- We'll see how I feel at 9 a.m. Hassan's response was, you better work, bitch. He said, can I get you to show up at a basketball court and yap for me? No, that's not what I said. Ever since Harrison Butker dropped that speech, you've been acting different.

Yeah, I'm the anti-Harrison Butker. You know what's crazy? I want women to work. You know, speaking of yapping, everybody is trying to affect Harrison Butker's stock, but it actually skyrocketed. I know, it keeps going up. He is the most,

he's the highest selling Chiefs jersey. I know. If not the highest selling jersey in the nfl the best selling punters jersey of all time and all he had to do was tell women get the fuck back in the kitchen i know it's crazy there's nothing that we talked about this last episode but like there's nothing that that there's no better market than like right wing guys with resentment yes like it's the best honestly why do they want to be so terrible why can't they just agree that it was kind of a fucked up thing to do at a graduation to be like when your mom you know that degree you paid for

especially when his mom is an accomplished physicist dude like he's coming from a fucking family of like badass women and he's just like yeah you know what my mom ain't shit yeah bro yeah so well i got my harrison butker and my ray rice jersey and i'm ready to go baby i bought one too your your icon ray rice no butker i i got a crop top oh you didn't get a ray rice no i'm oh you what? Now that I'm on the Butker train, Ray Rice is next. Why not? Wait, didn't he do something to women? Beat the shit out of us. Oh my god.

Was Ray Rice the elevator? Oh, the elevator. In the words of Dave Chappelle, he just did football in the wrong place. Yeah. He's just doing football. I've been telling people for the longest time that the Chiefs fucking suck.

Not because of their winning record. They're great at football, but they're just not that great at being human beings. It's out there now. Now, if they had a role model on their team, like an Aaron Rodgers, everything would be under doubt. What about Travis Kelsey? Boo. He's vaccinated. We don't fuck with that. Okay, there is an update. No, he's Boo. He's vaccinated. We don't fuck with that.

There is an update. No, he's cool. He's cool. He and his brother are awesome. He's America's boyfriend. There's an update to this story. You know, Travis Kelsey did respond to Harrison Butker by saying he said Oh, he did. He's so cool. No, he responded by saying

he doesn't support his views, but he loves him as a teammate. He loves the way he kicks that football. Bro, he's by saying he doesn't support his views, but he loves him as a team. He loves the way he kicks that football. Bro, he's a kicker. I don't even know why you have to ride for the kicker that hard. Because he can kick the shit out of that football. Cutie, how do you feel about Harrison Booker? You're a woman.

It made me question my business endeavors. And I've considered sending myself down that market as well. Kicking footballs. No. Hating women. Yeah. Oh, you have the look of a woman who hates women. I know.

I've thought about it. Yeah. You could be so good at trad cash. That's super profitable. If you went like one shade blonder. Yeah. Screwed in some aftermarket titties. I've thought about it.

Put on a pantsuit. You could go on Fox News and just be like, I wish these yappy bitches would just shut up. New branding opportunity. It's called Barefoot and Pregnant. Okay. But that's like your new thing where you don't even have to be pregnant. Like, obviously, you just like fake it. Like, don't even have to be pregnant. Like, obviously, you just just like fake it. Like, you're always pregnant.

Okay. But the children never see the children. Never. Right. I don't need to. And you're always barefoot. You're always in the kitchen and you're cooking. You're constantly talking about like how women ain't shit.

Yeah. And like, I'm not a feminist because I know how to cook. Or I'm so feminist that we should all take advantage of our femininity and just admit that we belong at the home. God, dude, so many people would watch you on Twitch if you were just giving such a base rant about how horrible women are and then started breastfeeding midstream. Oh, yeah, that too. You should do that.

Yeah, because it's allowed. It's allowed on the platform. Just like get a random baby. Wait, hating women or breastfeeding? No, hating women and breastfeeding are both. They come, you know, you can do both. I don't think you can just get a random baby and have them suck on your boob. Why not? What if you dressed

Ludwig like a baby? Wait, what do you mean? I thought it was like... Wait, maybe that's a new business opportunity. Okay, Ludwig sucking on her tit would be porn, I think. At that point, it would be pornographic. But what if he was getting fed? What if it was done tastefully? No, he's an adult. There's no way. What if he was eating, though?

What if she was... Didn't Ludwig breastfeed until he was like 13? I don't know. Wait, is that true? Oh. Let's start that rumor. Slime definitely breastfed well into his teens. You're still's like, is that true? Oh, Oh, funny rumor. Let's start that rumor. Slime. Definitely breastfed well into his teens. You're still breastfeeding,

aren't you? I try. Yeah. Um, ah, fuck. There was another thing I wanted to talk about without, uh,

before we got into the Harrison bunker, but the breastfeeding thing is so captivating that it's just like, it really is. Well, no. Midwives. That's a thing. Like, women will breastfeed other people's... They're wet nurses. Or wet nurses. Oh, that's a good job. So you knew. You had that in the pocket and you hid it.

I know. Well, I just... Wet nurses? I'm not that, though. That's crazy. You have to lactate and then you have to, like, keep lactating. Wet nurses? Wet nurse. Wait, hold on. Hold on. So let me understand this. A wet nurse is just somebody that's lactating wet nurses wet nurse wait hold on hold on so let me understand this a wet nurse is just somebody that's lactating yeah that just feeds the baby that they give birth so you don't stop lactating if you're if you use it you don't if you're a wet nurse really yeah that's crazy you

can just keep that shit pumping so what like damn and it like if you're a wet nurse like and you hear a baby crying at like walmart, your titties start leaking, right? I don't think that's exactly how it works, sir. AOC, your titties are leaking. My titties don't leak because I've never been pregnant. We got to get you knocked up. Just for business. Can you do this for the podcast?

We need this. Barefoot and pregnant. Barefoot and pregnant. I don't want it. I don't want it. And sometimes people get pregnant and they can't lactate. I'll go with you to all your point. And it's really painful and their boobs get really swollen.

And their milk ducts can get like jammed. Oh. What do you do? Do you just get in there? You got to give it a hyper. Poke a little hole. Did you know that when you give birth, you have to then give birth again to the placenta? Sometimes it's like a one-two punch.

Sometimes, if you're lucky. And the placenta is like, it's slimy. It's still ouchy, though. Your vagina just ripped. We are so unimaginably unadvanced in comparison to the average animal. Okay, explain that. No, I'm serious.

Bro, what do you mean we have hospitals? Bro, no, I mean, we had to do all of that. What are you talking about? From an evolutionary perspective. okay we just explain i'm serious like we got bro what do you mean we have hospitals bro no i mean we had to do all of that what are you talking about from an evolutionary perspective we have medicine that can make you not feel your legs the point i'm gonna make is from the evolutionary perspective animals like most animals well it depends animal animals different but like like a baby deer comes out and is like ready to fucking roll you know what i mean half the animal kingdom fucking die when they reproduce. Oh, Hassan's just saying that, like,

from an evolutionary standpoint, human beings... Babies are ready. They're, like, adults when they're born. Yeah, babies are, like, ready to fucking roll in many respects. We gotta take care of them for 18 years. And has, like, a way faster period of, like, figuring shit out. Yeah, but they die, like, 10 years in.

They're dead. That's also true. Whereas, I'm saying, like, I'm saying like the human being giving birth is like such a complicated process where like back in the day women just fucking straight died from blood loss. I mean most animals die. People still die from pregnancy like somewhat commonly. Octopi die after they reproduce. Yeah. And like they reproduce yeah some and like they're they're they're pretty

producing mass like the idea of nature's reproductive practice is like give birth to 100 two will make it yeah i learned about this jellyfish from maya that's tiny tiny baby it's as big as like your thumbnail and if it gets stressed out and thinks it's gonna die it just splits dna and makes another one. Medusa. And then that can split its DNA and make another one. They're immortal. Yeah, and they go on forever and they're just full of the ocean. They also have a life cycle where

when they die, they go into a respiratory state and can come back. They're like an immortal animal. That's insane. We need to research that. Didn't we see them in the Japanese aquarium? I think so. Because I remember you talking about this.

Did he just never die? When we went to the Japanese aquarium. We need to investigate what that is so we can put them in humans. Yeah. No, because then we would be like Naruto. No, because the worst people would get it. Yeah. The worst people would come back.

What do you mean, which people? Like me. Like Dick Cheney. No, yeah. I mean, like, yeah. You would have, like, Dick Cheney. No, yeah, I mean like, yeah, you would have like Dick Cheney as a baby, you know what I mean? Just doing horrible hate crimes

as a baby, which that's very confusing to me. Yeah. It's like, you're a baby, do I kick you in the head? We know who's doing the crime! It's like, what the hell did that baby do? Oh, that's Dick Cheney. Dick Cheney is like, re-invading Iraq as a baby this time it's

fucked up but it could happen it's like baby hitler do you kill baby hitler yes yes you fucking kill the fuck no i'd be a better mother well you would be a parent remember that baby you can't even lactate what are you talking to hitler i would i would raise him right what would you have named him adolf i would no would... No, I'd change his... The name is what made him do that. That's a good point. So I would just name him Bradley, and he would have been fine.

I do wonder. Bradley Hitler. He'd be a movie star. His life would have gone a different path. Yeah, it's just like the last name Hitler is so popular all of a sudden. And best supporting actor goes to Bradley Hitler. Wait, wait. Whoa!

I can't believe this! 999! I'm so happy! That's what could have been if I was his mother. Who did that lady say that to? Vladimir Putin. The lady that looks exactly like you that said if I was... Barefoot and pregnant.

Look it up. Vladimir Putin, if I was your mother, look it up, look it up. Vladimir Putin. If I was your mother, because this is like when you, I didn't realize you knew that. I thought you were just like instinctively saying, no, no, no. I was copying another way. Instinctive somewhere inside you in your blocked nipple ducks. I like the memes of us like making. That's me. I was your mother. It kind of looks like.

Yeah, that's the one. Oh, my God. Cutie. That. That's why I said. Looks like you. Yeah. I've been told.

This is after Vladimir Putin invaded Ukraine. Dear President Vladimir Putin. I'm so sorry that I was not your mother. Me to Hitler. Yeah. But honestly, like. That's awesome. She's kind of hot. mother. Me to Hitler. Honestly, she's kind of hot. Wait, and it looks like Cutie.

Sean thinks I'm hot. That's what I'm saying. We say you're hot all the time. The British are coming. In his defense, he does have almost full-blown face blindness. That's true. There was a time in our life where he would go out at clubs.

In his defense. Wait, what? Well, I just don't want to. No, no, no, no. Hey, World, in his defense, he doesn't actually think about it. No, no. He's drunk at 10 a.m. I do have a very hard time figuring out faces.

So I would ask. Will was like, we were like sniper scout. Yeah. Will was my sniper scout. We would go to a club and he would like start vibing a girl and then he'd like lean over and be like is this person attractive oh my god wait really i can't see the dark because i know i hate he's almost fully face but i can't wait wait would you fuck with him and just tell him yeah and then sometimes they wouldn't no he's dude i couldn't do that that's like leading a blind man into traffic yeah okay so here's the thing

To be fair That would have been awesome though I hate wearing glasses This is like a new phenomena Because I'm always on camera so I have to wear my glasses It's kind of hot though But I hate wearing glasses and I never wear glasses out So because I'm blind as hell

And at night I get even extra blind i have night blindness on top of that i would never be able to see anything inside of a nightclub so i had to i had to use will as my eyes you know what i re-watched recently that i knew it was offensive going into it but it's so it's like funny it's so offensive as shallow how oh oh yeah guys it is bad really it is bad well i mean she's morbidly obese but the whole film is about seeing people's inner beauty i know but it has her constantly breaking chairs yes they're sitting at meals and she just falls we gotta laugh at something you know that's a crazy classic 90s i dated a you know and a lot of that stuff happened to him in real life wait hold on i broke very few chairs he's broken chairs wait very few of them there's a scene where

they're in a boat will you look at why are you laughing you are so you are so fat phobic and i'm not fat phobic you're laughing at the fat phobic i'm just like look at you now yeah i feel like you look you know look at you i've broken some I feel like you, you know, look at you now. I've broken some chairs, but it's like only a couple. It's not that big of a deal. No, they're in a boat. Scroll down a little bit. That's crazy.

Wait, isn't Jack Black fat though? Yeah, but she's. Isn't she supposed to be like 500 pounds? Yeah. Yeah. But she's like not. And it's just like, it's crazy. Yeah.

She's Gwyneth fucking Paltrow Did they put her in a fat suit? No they had two actresses They had a fat body double? No they put her in a fat suit also Oh really did they? I thought they had two actresses They had a fat body double?

That's crazy Imagine getting that casting call What do you mean? People are They would probably love to play that role. Lord Gwyneth Paltrow. Yeah, this is peak Gwyneth. So she finishes that whole milkshake by themselves.

They go on a boat ride. Oh my God, she's not even fat. He's bigger than she is. No. Austin, oh my God. Wait, have you never seen this? Yeah, that was Gwyneth Paltrow in a fat suit. Just keep playing and then he'll get the thing because it shows it.

Okay, so listen. Okay, so I've never seen the movie. No, no, no. We need to let this man understand the concept right now before I freak out. Okay, hold on. This movie is... Watch. He'll figure it out.

He'll figure it out soon. Cannonball, woo-hoo. Okay, now she's going to do a cannonball, Austin. Okay, I'm waiting. Okay, fast forward. Let's get to the cannonball. No, just wait, man. Look at Gwyneth.

Appreciate fine bars. She's beautiful. Oh, my God. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh, he can't see. Oh my god, I get it. Okay, hold on. Let me say. Jack Black can't see how big she is.

And he appreciates. So the movie is about a guy who is like a pickup artist piece of shit. Yeah. Who is unlucky in love. And he bumps into Tim Robbins, right? Yeah. The motivational speaker who like puts a trance on him that is basically like you will only see people's inner beauty. Oh, okay.

Gotcha. And so she is a wonderful human being. That makes total sense. So she looks like Gwyneth Paltrow. Gotcha. And so she is a wonderful human being. That makes total sense. So she looks like Gwyneth Paltrow. Okay. I see. But it's really, it's a really hard watch. It is literally like an early 2000s comedy. It's just two hours of fat jokes.

It's like, it's like, it's like hard. It's like trudging though. But it's got such a good message. Is that right? And the one guy has a tail. That's great. He has a little spinal tail. Yeah, Jason Alexander. Yeah. Oh, Jason Alexander's in it? Yeah, he's has a tail. That's great. He has a little spinal tail. Yeah, Jason Alexander. Yeah.

Oh, Jason Alexander's in it? Yeah, he's the friend. He can't understand the change in how. Yeah. Because everybody else supports the change in how, except for Jason Alexander. He's like, what are you doing? Yeah, he's like, you're dating ugly girls.

I'm peeping off at Scott and he's losing it. All right, let's open it up. Cutie, you're sick. I'm sick. What do you wanna um i wanted to talk to you guys about this lady who posted this video on tiktok of her making her own birthday oh and it was this just a video you posted oh i know this is this is exciting why is it sad oh just wait it's not sad it gets good good. I got it. It gets so good. I don't know what to think. There's a lady who is crying and making a birthday cake on TikTok.

I'm going to explain it while Cutie's pulling it up and sending it to March. There's this beautiful blonde woman. She's in tears. And the caption reads something along the lines of, I'm paraphrasing, it's so hard being a single mother. Right, Cutie? Is that the same issue that we're talking about? Yeah, she's like, so hard being a single mother. Can I guess?

She doesn't have kids. Oh, no, she does. That's so me. She does. Could you imagine? She doesn't have kids. You're just talking about Swift. If I didn't work on it, if Twitch didn't work out for me, I'd decide to just bait people all the time.

Just crying because that is a skill set I have for my depression. She has kids. You also have another skill set. She does have a child. Did she adopt a child? If QT doesn't find the TikTok, I'm just going to keep describing it. So you're going to play the first one first? All right.

So this is the OG TikTok. Let's take a look. It's beautiful. It's Kino. It's beautiful. It's Kino. It's beautiful. It's cinema. Being a single mom making your own birthday cake on your birthday so that your babies can feel happy when they're singing.

Oh, my God, the music. Also, she's using a box mix. It's not that hard. Right? Bitch. Wait, pause. Pause. Cutie, are you fucking serious?

She also, she also, she could have just bought one. Yeah, it's like, come on. This woman is on her fucking final thread and you're trolling her for her box mix? Yeah, I know. Cutie is fucking ruthless and I love that. She had to edit this video. Yeah, that's my favorite type of TikTok.

Wait, pause it. My favorite type of TikTok, I mean, this is it anyway. My favorite type of TikTok is when you're crying and you're like, let me set up the camera real quick and then cry to the camera. I want to see how the cake turns out. No, that's it. She freaking just makes her cupcakes and cries. Don't worry, here's your part too. Okay. see how the cake turns out no that's it she freaking just makes her cupcakes and crap yeah

no it's just like don't worry here's your part two okay so just wait wait wait before the stitch comes in i hate that fucking phrase stitch incoming yeah makes me want to fucking paint the wall of my brain okay i fucking hate that j. Jesus Christ. Whoever invented that, if I find you. Let him stand on this. Wait, wait, hold on, hold on. Why? It's so lame. But it's just. Stitch it.

What? My dad is 90 and he doesn't even sound that fucking folksy. Stitch incoming. Well, it's just a term for TikToks. No, it's not. No, it's dumb. Let him have this. Like every social media platform.

Fuck you. Shut up. I don't disagree with you. I don't need your fucking explanation. Okay.. Shut up. Play the video. Shut up. I don't need your fucking explanation. Okay, well, I was going to ask. I was going to play a game, but we already fucked it up. All right, Stitch coming from ex-husband. From ex-husband?

Woo! So I've been sending this video a lot over the last few days. People asking my thoughts and my comments on it. And before anyone says, oh, you don't know her situation or you don't know what she's going through, well, I do because I lived it. I'm her ex-husband and right now I have full custody of our kids. This is our parent agreement.

As you can see, I have all weekdays and weekends time sharing with the kids. All holiday academic breaks and for her to get any rights back to the kids these are the things that she needs to do and yes child support she owes that it's up to over 21 000 so she's a mother and doesn't pay child support that That's not the same chick. It is. She's been arrested for check fraud.

And during that hearing, it turned out that it was found that she stole almost a million dollars from another guy. And also she faked cancer in the past. These are scans that she would send and post on her page before. She hit the fucking you know this person for people that follow her or giving her praise and showing and telling her how strong and how you know amazing she's doing well she's really not a full-time mom kids she goes out all the time and she doesn't even uh probably really not someone that other single moms should really be looking towards that for inspiration or anything like that

there are a lot of you know hard-working single moms out there and a lot of respect to them i gotta cover all my bases so hopefully everyone uh can see this video and know you know who she really is i like that he's watching the nba playoffs in the background he's like listen jesus he's like listen kairi kairi is cooking in the background um yeah i that is to that is it's awesome that's a lot bro i'm not gonna lie like i, some mutual acquaintance sent that to him, and it triggered him. And he was like, I'm going to end this woman's entire box cake cooking career. Yeah, I think it's really based.

Fraudulent. Can we? Okay. You hate the word stitch. I fucking hate when people say it's based. I hate it so much. Wait. Will says that all the time i know i know and every time you say it i'm like oh it's i'm just i i have to come out with it i hate it especially when especially when people uh are are like referring to like i don't know being like

right wing or whatever and that's like the the new colloquial application of it i hate how i use it and i know and you started doing it ironically and now you're just like you're deploying it like i think when will says it it's cool i think it's funny what do you hate austin what do i hate when people say yeah uh let me think about it you go next oh uh men you hate men collectively? Generally, yeah. We knew that. Oh, God. There was a lot of things that I grew up hearing that I hated. The F slur. Nobody really called me that.

Oh, yeah, that's right. You were kind of wished they did. That's crazy that I got called the F slur exponentially more than you did. No, but I would get called. So this is the thing. I would get called the F slur exponentially more than you do. No, but no, no, no. I would get called. So this is the thing. I would get called the F slur, but not for being gay, but for not wanting to steal alcohol from my parents. When I was in a Southern fraternity, I got called the F slur a lot. That was a, yeah.

For what? But how did you get called the F slur? Because I was the gayest thing they had ever seen. There were guys in the fraternity that ended up being gay that i presented would they would they would they call you the f for sure yeah oh they they're the ones that call you the f for the most yeah because they're like secretly they're like oh oh you know the things that you why is he so free with his body the things that you wish you experienced i mean i don't wish that i experienced that but it would be nice to hear it You wanted a little bit of a homoerotic experience

With straight guys In college type shit Like we were both in the closet And it felt so wrong Or just like a dude who's like curious You know what I mean Yeah I mean I definitely missed out on some of those Formidable experiences

You were too busy at fucking Applebee's Formidable Yeah he was huge I don't know like us exploring on some of those formidable experiences. Yeah, because you were too busy at fucking Applebee's. Formidable. Formidable. Yeah, he was huge. I don't know, like us exploring each other at those ages. Ignoring you at the mess hall. I never really discovered my sexuality until later. Yeah, that's true.

Are you going to tell us about EDC, Will? Fuck no. How was it? Why? Because it was good, and I don't want you people near it. Okay. I didn't, yeah, we didn't want to bother you during that experience.

Good. Good. Do you think you would have had fun with us there? No. Could I have survived there sober? I was on the phone with Caroline and Caroline was cutie, I want you to come to EDC with us. I was like, no, no, no, no. And she's like, come on, we can get all of you to come. And I hear will in the background no yeah no caroline they cannot come yeah no that's like no not at all it's okay i don't want to go you would humiliate me why

what would you enjoy doing with all of us at edc no no not edc just just in general I mean, I've pitched so many things How close are you to getting on a plane? You were talking about Thailand, by the way I don't know what's going on You haven't informed me on when we are going to Thailand together What's happening? He doesn't want to go with you It's not allowed

I just think it would be better I literally will not If I find out he's going to Thailand, I will get a ticket I'm not letting him go to Thailand, I will get a ticket. I'm not letting him go to Thailand by himself. That sucks for you. That's insane. Well, the good thing is even if you go to Thailand,

you'll be streaming most of the time anyway. Yeah, streaming the Muay Thai camp that we are going to, that we are going to be training at. Now, you want me to talk about EDC? It was great. It was a spiritual experience. It was wonderful. I think sometimes I find answers to questions I didn't even know I was

asking. How much ketamine can you do without overdosing? The answer might surprise you. It's more than you think. One horse amount. Did you helicopter in this year? no we took a we

took a shuttle how long was the shuttle not bad we went early and left relatively early um 4 a.m that's when we left uh yeah it was great and then fred again played the set of my life so i don't know it was just a lot of fun i know it's not for you guys and the reason i don't want to talk about it is not because i don't love you i just know you'll yuck my um no we were happy parents just don't understand i just no we should do more drugs for me i i've done it all i've done it all winter music conference ultra, peak of like- 2009? Yeah. God, dude, that was so long ago. That was like peak of house music.

That's like Swedish House Mafia, Deadmau5. Like, these guys are- Progressive House was- It wasn't even old enough. I will say that- It was pre-Avicii. I will say that it's peak right now. Electric Daisy Carnival is like such a feast for your senses.

It's insane. Every day, I would go in, I would get a fresh shave at the festival. Then I would get a massage. I would get a tune up. And then I would like. That's awesome. You're like a race car. Yeah, I would start.

Get an IV. I wanted to do that day too. I was signed up, but I didn't do it. And then I would like have some nosh, a drink. And then we'd start walking around the festival at like 9 p.m., 10 o'clock. And then you go straight through till four. You know how to live luxury. I do.

You know how to live luxury. I do. That's one thing I love about you. Instantly, like when you tell me that story, I'm like, I haven't worked out. I haven't streamed. The festival is your workout. You dance for six straight

hours. Well, that's the thing. You just got to be zooted. There's no way you can fucking white knuckle through that sober. You know what my dream is for you, Hasan? Marsh laughed. Is to go on a vacation without working. I think I would kill myself. You would kill yourself.

Oh my god. Why? That sounds normal and fun. I just... Oh, I wish he was at the festival no for me it's like i i mean i've talked about so many times it's just i love what i do and i and i greatly enjoy but sometimes you need to take a break yeah yeah exactly even jeffrey dahmer took a day off but that's what i mean it's like i could have i could have been a serial killer. And isn't it wonderful? Oh my God.

You're not helping your case. Instead of being a serial killer and enjoying like decapitating people. Are you? And then keeping their severed heads in a refrigerator. I enjoy streaming instead. Have you thought about this? No, but I do like,

should I be afraid to sleep in your house? I do. No, I do. I mean, I'm, I'm fascinated by serial killers. Who isn't? It's fucking insane. It's like a complete fucking breakdown of like...

It's a complete breakdown of empathy. Cutie and I do not watch serial killers because we're afraid that we're going to be their next victim. Except for I did learn. Do you know that Ted Bundy, a lot of the people he killed, it was like simply that their windows were unlocked and their doors were just unlocked yeah you just be like oh yeah back then it was pretty crazy like you could just if you were a white guy they just kind of let you do it yeah he literally escaped prison yeah didn't the judge in the last thing that he said to him

was like you would have been such a great you're so disappointing yeah he said you could have been a brilliant lawyer you could have been a brilliant lawyer and it's just like but instead you know yeah well part of why he didn't get caught was because simply back then the states didn't communicate and so it was like the meta was moving state to state because they just wouldn't pick up the phone there's another serial killer named jack unterweger who did the same thing basically internationally and interpol had no like ability to communicate so he was just murdering his face off all over the eu and united states is that not jack the ripper that's somebody else no it's jack unterweger he strangled people but he used a very specific slipknot and he would tie it with people's underpants. Could you imagine?

Okay, you're like a murderer. Damn, you kill people with their own undies? Yeah, it was a slipknot. You couldn't, and then, I mean, not that this is cool, but it's kind of cool. Not cool. When they finally caught him, he tied the same knot in his own underpants

and killed himself with it as like a, so he was never found guilty because part of the country of origin where he's from, part of their legal system is you're not guilty till you go through your appeals. So before he went through his appeals, he hung himself with the same knot, kind of as like a, I did do this.

It's me. That's crazy. I thought you were going to say in that country, if you kill yourself with your panties, you just are automatically innocent. It goes back to when they were up in the fjord yeah this is a very weird one-way trip to Valhalla imagine you're like a murderer and you're trying to make it like your calling card whether it be your murder not sure whatever yeah and you like have a really great idea you're like oh I'm gonna carve puzzle pieces what's your calling card?

Come on. You must have thought about this. It takes a fat dookie. Oh, I got one. In their fridge. I shit at the crime scene. That's horrible. Every time.

You can't murder it. It's him. I would take little airplane wings and stick it through their nose. Wow. What? I'm a serial killer. Like, you have to bring a prop with you every time though.

You can't like this. Hold on. Can I just tell you what the prompt that you came up with is? What would be your calling card? I'm sorry. And me slipping through like a little airplane wings. I mean, they definitely know I did it though. I would always give them a wedgie at the end.

Okay. That's very innocent. That's so weird. You've murdered them. That is such a malicious thing. You've murdered them. They'd be like the wedgie murderer back at it again. It's like saying I would kill them and then I would take their finger and place it in their nose like this. got an idea that's not bad will your calling card should be you

positioning their bodies into like a self-sucking sort of thing so they all every time they found them kind of like their style and there becomes like this trend that people are dying of self sucks what if there was a murderer that instead of like normal murder with like guns and stuff, they just like, well, you walk up behind someone. Imagine I'm walking. You walk up behind me. You throw a freaking perfectly sized bouncy ball in my mouth. And then you cover my mouth and you shake, you shake me and scare me to the point that

I swallow it and I die. And so, but really I died by choking, but no one knows it was you. The bouncy ball murder. Wow. That's crazy. Yeah, I suppose. No one's done one knows it was you. The bouncy ball murder. Wow. That's crazy. Yeah, I suppose. No one's done that. He gets you to choke.

Yeah. Somehow. I feel like you could figure that out. The bouncy ball murder. Everyone is just accidentally getting choked with bouncy balls. Yeah, but it's just that it's very unique is what I'm saying. If you start a trend on TikTok or something beforehand that it's cool to eat bouncy balls and then you set it up. So then people start thinking it's because people are doing this new trend.

But then a serial killer wants people to know that he's out there killing people. That would be cool to start doing streams of like saw traps. Like if I put other streamers in a saw traprap you know that's good it's not gonna kill him okay mr bees he put people in sawtraps i mean i feel like wait that's crazy that would be crazy to set that up as a streamer yeah and then like one time it's real and you're in your broadcast austin show your entire life you have lived a life of exorbitance. I would not want to be the other one. In front of you are the butts of 16 twinks. In only one of them is a key. You must eat ass to survive.

Oh, my God. Live or die. That's crazy. Make your choice. Okay, but that's like corn for him. None of them have showered in 48 days. The whole point is it's too much ass. That's crazy.

Yeah, that's... There's no such thing as too much ass. Is there too much ass? No, because he would start... You know, he'd be like, what's going on? And then he'd start eating the first ass. He'd be like, ah.

And then he'd be on the sixth one, and he'd be like, ah, it's too much. Sometimes you just want to eat a meal instead. Yeah. Sometimes you want to. And there's some pendulum with a blade on it getting closer to him. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Sounds like such a nightmare. Yeah. Yeah, he hates that. Definitely don't do that to him. Oh my god. Sounds like such a nightmare. Yeah, he hates that. Definitely don't do that to him. That's really funny. A sketch of saw traps that people actually really like. In front of you is a glory hole.

I will suck your cock so hard until you... Oh no! Oh no! Ooh, Mr. Jigsaw. Don't. I hate this. Oh, so gross.

We're so fucked. Speaking of which, I want to put something out there that people think. Do it. I did not steal the Timothee Chalamet wax figurine from the London Madame Tussauds. Timothee Chalamet's wax. You borrowed it. No, I didn't. I didn't do any of that.

And I was called out on Twitter by Caroline and Cutie Cinderella. Caroline's saying we know who did it. I thought you were going to say Antipyram. I'm surprised that they are the ones calling you out. No, no, no. They are saying that Timothy Chalamet, if you didn't know from Madame Tussauds, wax. Can we look at the wax figure? He's pretty good looking.

And how the hell do you get away with something like this? But anyway, his wax figure was stolen from Madame Tussauds in London. In front of you is a wax figure of Timothy Charny. Somewhere in his ass is a key. Have to dig in with your penis. Yeah, so there you go. Oh my God, it looks so real, too. Not really.

Austin pretending, yeah, like this is the first time he's seen it. That's crazy. I don't get, like, what are they going to do? Are they going to fuck it? Well, I doubt there's anything below, like, under that. Can you even, like, how does a wax figure work? It's made of wax, right? I don't even know if you can, like, fuck it.

After being erected? Such an interesting even know if you can fuck it. After being erected? Such an interesting use of word. People fuck cars. That's true. Oh, have you guys seen there's a rash of people, men in Korea fucking other people's cars?

Wait, hold on. In Korea specifically? No, but I have seen like... Wait, wait, there's like a group of people going around in fucking cars fucking cars like like in the exhaust pipe some woman's pink tesla she like came back and she like a video of a guy just like like softly kissing the vehicle yeah how would you feel if you walked in somebody was fucking your car i think you just let it happen. Yeah.

It's been a while since my car's gotten some. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. Yo, people don't know this, but it probably feels good as fuck for the car. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Lightning McQueen needs some fucking...

Teslas don't have, like, a kussy, though, because it's electric. I don't even know where he's putting that shit. Do you think Teslas are, like, asexual? He was just, was just softly kissing. You can pull it up. Korean car fuckers. Yeah, this is a real thing.

It's a real thing. It's like a rash. It's a real phenomenon. There's a woman who was in love with a roller coaster, I'm pretty sure. No, but the funny thing is, a lot of those people, it's like a consensual thing. I just watched him look it up, and it's Pornhub. Just type in Pink Tesla. But it's apparently a recorded thing

where there's been like eight different guys in Korea that they pull up on, and they're like passionately. Are they all doing group sex? Oh, here it is. Here it is! South Korea has become the insult nation, dude. Fingered it for three hours Korean man spotted What is he fingering?

Just getting in there But like where is he putting the finger? Listen if you have to ask you've never fucked a car I mean yes I have not They don't show where he fingered Well I mean like but look There's other guys that are doing this Look look that's another one of the other guys

where they just had a footage of him trying to fuck the hood of the car. Look at how pointed his toes are. He's not even in the right role. I need you to zoom in on his toes while we're watching this. This man is in the throes of ecstasy. Okay, can I just say, he has the fucking Adidas sandals on, so you know he wasn't even prepared for like an escape or anything he saw it and he was a meat cute yeah he saw this tesla

acting but is there even any law that prevents you from having sex with cars i watched a documentary on literally this i watched a documentary i mean how are you what would you be arrested well yeah but what if it was in the privacy of your own like what if you what if somebody well I watched a documentary on literally this. I watched a documentary. I mean, how are you? What would you be arrested? I think public indecency. Well, yeah, but what if it was in the privacy of your own? Like, what if somebody, well, I guess there is. I'm pretty sure you can, like, fuck your own car in your own garage or whatever, but, like, you can't fuck someone else's car. Depends on how old the car is. That's not hot.

He's having a car affair. You know what I mean? He saw someone else's car on the way to work and was like, you come here often? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. And they just start. Dude, I want to know what's going through someone's brain.

Because there's other people around. Endorphins. I guess. God damn. If Mormonism taught me anything, it is to feel judged at all times. Sure. Cutie, if you had to fuck an inanimate object, what would you fuck? That was very exciting. I have fuck an inanimate object what would you fuck that was very excited i have fucked an inanimate object really when you're going through like adolescence you you

discovered he fucked a basketball i fucked a couch no i didn't fuck the basketball you fucked a basketball no um i i've talked about this on the star wars podcast like many many years prior but like one of my earliest formative sexual experiences was literally um laying on top of a basketball and like basically uh rubbing up and down on the basketball and going oh this feels pretty good and it's like it's that and then obviously like the classic uh jet in the uh in the pool put your penis in a pool jet no but i have been in the vicinity of the pool jet oh you put the jet up your ass no i'm saying like you just stand in front of the motion of the ocean and you think you're fucking slick because you're like 12 but like you know i i never i don't think i ever fucked an inanimate object i used to fuck the corner of couches like i used to hump the that's crazy and chairs that used to be my thing you've never you've never pumped an inanimate

object you are one of the most like sexual beings that i know i was jerking off you literally have you hump things now not in a sexual way yeah but it's it's much more just like a domination there's no sexual that That's so funny. Wait, that is true. You've humped me before. Yeah, sometimes I'm just, ugh. You know what it is? It's like when I feel my bite set in, I get bad impulse control.

And she just start humping? I just get lizard brain. That's why it's crazy that you like, you can't, you hump people in the real world, but you can't but you never hump, but I but never in a like a sexual way Mmm, it's hard to choose an As a lady have you ever had as a lady Some of the hacks as girly pop girly pop nation here your hacks a lot of girls don't talk about this, but then when a girl does everyone's like is like the the tub faucet yeah oh yeah i've heard of that the shower head is really popular

i this is not a personal for me but i've heard this teddy bears and the little hard nose they actually marsh look this up. They make a teddy bear now that kind of looks like that guy, but with a reticulating penis. What is reticulating? Why? So that girly pops can fuck them.

But it looks like a normal teddy bear. Okay, girly pops, you're crazy. Is there a compartment for it? Pull that up for us, Billy Ray Brains. Reticulating penis bear. Poor Marsh. Type in teddy bear that you can fuck. Teddy bear sex toy, maybe.

Teddy bear with retractable cock. Naughty teddy bears on Etsy. Wow, there's one. That one says, I like your butt. No, this is one that you fuck You need one that can fuck you Type in teddy bear sex toy Teddy bear with retractable penis

I think you made it up I think this is one that you can fuck We need one that fucks you Wait, I tried the teddy bear sex toy And let's just say It's not for everyone Wait, does it go down Does it have a reticulating

Did the person put their name On this article I think it's just a vibrator Okay that one vibrates But there's one with a Fucking penis Okay I mean I've used the

You used a reticulating penis You've been fucked by a teddy bear I used a suck master And it's not I've always been curious about that Suck master I think I have an unopened one upstairs if you want to try it out. If you want to give it a whirl.

He always keeps the Suckmaster on deck. Wait, do you really? Is it in a box? So here's the thing. Wait, I'm so curious what this feels like. The Womanizer. Hasan, can you give it to me and I'll do it and then I'll report back. The Womanizer.

There's a sex toy called the Womanizer. Put a blanket over me and just me and this sex toy does not actually uh vibrate but uses suction and it's one that i've like recommended to my friends quite a bit and they literally were like oh you are so ride or die for us like let me we'll send you like a ton of sex toys so they did and one of the sex toys was for men it was the suck master you just like put it on your penis and it just goes and it just like uh is supposed to simulate uh a a blow job and it wasn't that good i just don't really the title suck master that's what i'm calling it i don't think it's a call of Suckmaster

I would love to meet a person who's like Hi, I'm Janet, I'm the Suckmaster We've modeled it after my Suck I feel like Janet is the worst name for like Suckmaster When I think of Janet I think of like hot 80's blonde I think of Ex-Choco Bars

And Janet, you can be a Suckmaster If you want it. I do not. I do not. What? Will was not saying that. No, I was not. As his lawyer, I'm defending Will.

But you said her name, and as soon as you said Janet, I was like, oh, Janet. My client was not talking about ex-choco bars. No, this, my client, me. My client, Janet, can be whatever she wants to be. I was just pulling a random name. Wow. We've said it all. Have we done it?

All that needs to be said. Have we done it? So how long have you had that sitting up there for? He's trying to take your suck mask off. Just have it. I used to have a pocket pussy, and it got caught in airport security one time. Wait, really? You traveled with it no i

i did bro what's wrong with you well i didn't meet okay so one time i when i was by the way this is literally the this is the apex of austin stories airport and gay shit no no but it was it was a it was a vagina okay airport and straight shit which is a weird no no when i when i was when i was 16 i got a debit card for christmas it was like vagina. Okay. Airport and straight shit, which is a weird. No, no. When I, when I was, when I was 16, I got a debit card for Christmas. It was like a $250 debit card. And the first thing I did was go online and buy a pocket pussy. Cause I was,

I thought I was straight at the time. So I ordered a pocket pussy. I used it one time. I used it one time. And then I put it in a, in like a duffel bag and hit it. And I never used it again. But the,

but that duffel bag was the only bag i had and i packed it and i traveled with it and then it went through airport security and that it got flagged so here's the thing first of all did you enjoy the policy when you used it no that's why i never used it again you had to heat it up it was just like yeah it's too much work put it in the water and it flows to the top. Yeah, you got to clean it. Jesus Christ. And it also doesn't feel like I am, I could say this, I guess, confidently, I'm one of the few unique individuals on the planet who has had the opportunity to both test the pocket pussy of an adult actor and also simultaneously be with the adult actor. Wait, did you use it at the same time

to see the difference? No, but she wanted me to test it out because it was rolling out. We lived such different lives. Janice Griffith, back when we were dating, she wanted me to test it out and I didn't have the heart to tell her that I just didn't

really. Your pocket pussy just isn't that good. Well, no. It's the inside of pocket pussy just isn't that good well no it's the inside of it they don't do the inside of it it's just they do they mimic the lips yeah and that's what me and all of that but like it's just not you know the real thing is so much better yeah well of course i mean that'd be really unfortunate i mean that would suck if they made something so real that to be honest I'll be the first to say it. I'm done with people if that happens. Wait, really?

Yeah. But if I have, like, a robot who can, I don't know, somewhat mimic human emotions. But I want them to, like, love it. Dude, think about it. Like, you have Ana de Armas walking around. It's over. It's Jover.

It's Jover. It's so Jover for society. We're going to get there, you think? Yeah, I do. Do you think that's better for society? I think it'll happen just in time for me to be a lecherous old man. It'll be like the Zizek thought. It'll be like the Zizek hypothetical where you will only, you will fuck whatever that robot is.

Because we'll be at critical mass with how many shitty people there are. And then all of a sudden people will stop reproducing. Because they'll all have fucking fuckbots. I mean, not everyone's going to have access. It'll just be, it'll be basically this. There's going to be some cut rate fuckbots that, you know,

the lithium battery melts down and just fucking explodes. Sauterizes your penis right off. You guys think we'll be friends forever? No. Oh. Yes. I think so.

I think so. Who do you think here is going to be the first to retire, Judy? Will raised his hand. Why wasn't it me? I don't understand. No. None of us know how you pay for anything apparently you you know why because you're retired already yeah we don't know hold

on i'm a testament to what happens when you invest well he'll never walk away yeah you love the camera too much i would say i don't think you'll ever fully retire i think you will keep trying other businesses trying well i mean i like it's hard to make anything as successful as streaming but i think that'll kind of be your you know you'll try different experiences and you'll do this till your heart stops yeah i'll i'll be taken out oh come on that sentence you guys sentence. You guys. Holy shit. Before I quit. Before I stop. I'm already kind of retired.

We just said that. Oh. And you disagreed. Well. And now you're agreeing with it. Yeah. Well, anyway. You're my project.

I've given up on it. We're going to the Patreon tier list. Oh, yeah. In the Patreon, I'm going to be giving advice to people in my once a week segment. And we're tier listing the Suckmaster. So I would put Kaya in A tier. Kaya and Farley vibe.

They hang out. They're not like... I couldn't put her in... That's S tier, 100%. Unconditional. Well, they both hate her. No, no. B tier. B tier?% would adopt. Unconditional. Well, they both hate her. No, no. B tier. B tier? No. No. They both would put her in F tier.

No, no, no. I wouldn't put her in F tier. I think she pees everywhere. She does not. He would put her in F. Where would you put her? Kaya is incredibly well trained. Super easy to walk. Literally fucking got professional training. St stands by your side every fucking time do not compare her to your

fucked up dog with mental health problems okay she she