Fear& - Hasanabi, QTCinderella & WillNeff Do A Reverse Queer-Eye | Fear&MISBHV

Episode Date: May 29, 2023

The whole gang is finally reunited after such a long last few weeks apart, theres so much to catch up on I dont even know where to begin, just look at the thumbnail man. Huge Taylor Swift updates, Austin gets the makeover of a lifetime, Will and I survived EDC in the desert and so so much more. Also the patreon episode for this one spirals into probably our most psychotic and unhinged episode yet. Okay I sleep now have fun watching bye bye i love you ♥🎉BONUS CONTENT🍾 🌟PATREON - https://www.patreon.com/FearAnd🎧 AUDIO PLATFORMS - https://linktr.ee/fearand✰ follow Fear&! ✰Hasan: https://twitter.com/HasanthehunWill: https://twitter.com/TheWillNeffQT: https://twitter.com/QTCinderellaAustin: https://twitter.com/AustinontwitterMarche: https://twitter.com/MarcheFear&: https://twitter.com/FearAndPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Welcome back. Welcome back. We have so much to talk about. Welcome back. It's unfunny how much we have to talk about. Do you think feeders watch this? Because we usually start with snacks. And do you think they are sexually charged by us chomping?

There are people that are furiously masturbating. No, you're the feeder. We're not starting like this. No, I... There are so that are furiously masturbating. You're the feeder. We're not starting like this. There are so many topics. There are so many topics. I think we should talk about how great of an opportunity this is to hit a different community and demographic and pump our

Patreon numbers. What? Kaya's being a bad, bad girl. Yeah, I know. If she keeps bargaining like this, I'm probably going to bring her upstairs. Kaya! Kaya, that's enough. That's enough.

Uncle Austin says that's enough. Okay, I'm going to bring her upstairs. I'm going to crate her because she's definitely going to crate. All right, we're going to pause the podcast. You won't even notice the cut. Put in the worst cut ever. We should definitely cut this part, right?

Yeah, because it's very important that this song's here. He's driving on the fucking views for this thing. What are you saying? Yeah. Rachel, can I get one more look at myself? Could you do the other camera? No. Don't indulge this.

Don't do this. How do I look? Do I look all right? No. Don't do it. Don't indulge this. Don't do this. How do I look? Do I look alright? Hot. This is not going on the podcast, right? No, it's not. We're in the Patreon. Seamless cut. We are back.

Back. And boy, do we have stuff to talk about. Okay. All right. Okay. Restart that. Before we get into anything, we have to address the elephant in the room. This is going to be a- There are a lot of elephants in the room.

This is going to be- Don't call me an elephant. It's going to be a Taylor Swift heavy episode. So. That's where we're starting. We haven't talked in a month and you're like, let's start with Taylor. Buckle the fuck up. Okay.

Last. Yeah. I mean, I. Benedict Arnold's here. If you want, we can start with that. Benedict Arnold's. Oh, I'm not going to. It's a wild take for me being like precog. Seeing future telling you how it would play out it would have been better if you were there no yes it would have been is it would have been i'm am i do i have

a spot in the box by the way for the taylor no what you're cut nobody i have tweeted taylor swift lyrics so many times you were pandering, that's what you do as a stan. We need to make a decision. What? And I think the bigger elephant in the room is how I dodged, how we dodged a bullet by not going to England. That's insane.

This is another episode of the same podcast that you're referencing. You didn't even get Tommy in it. She, oh, to London. Is that what we're talking about? Yeah. What do you think we were talking about? I was just so distracted by the fact that I don't have a Tommy in it. She. Oh, to London. Is that what we're talking about? Yeah. What do you think we were talking about? I was just so distracted by the fact that I don't have a spot in the box.

Taylor Swift has a song called London Boy and he got distracted. Wait, people photoshopped me in the thing. Okay, so let's talk about London. Yeah, let's talk about London. First of all, I am so disappointed that both of you abandoned our podcast. I was never coming. Oh, interesting. Both of you abandoned the podcast that we have all worked so hard on

and you left Hasan and I stranded in a five-star hotel in the middle of central London. Yeah, which was devastating. It was absolutely devastating. It was devastating. Hasan had like three rooms. Dude, Tears of a Kingdom had two meanings during that trip. It was the game he played the entire time

and it was the synopsis of your trip. Yes. I don't know what happened. So you know what, Will? Have your moment. What happened is... What? Me have a moment?

I've never been more jet-lagged in my entire life, and it bricked everything, because unfortunately, we had booked talent and everything else, but sometimes when you're jet-lagged so hard, and you find out about blind curtains, you know. So you think it was the jet lag and not playing Tears of the Kingdom till five in the morning.

Okay, that might have played a role. That might have played a role. He blamed the blackout curtains. It was your fault. He blamed me. It was your fault. I shoot you. I showed him.

Well, he books the guest, first of all. Who was the guest? Zerker. Zerker. Who is a side man. GTA. Yeah, he's a side man. He was nominated for GTA.

So Hassan books the guest. Yeah. And we're supposed to, and we don't know what time the guest is to show up. Sure. And so we're just, Mauricio and I are waking up in the morning just waiting for Hassan to respond.

He never, he doesn't wake up till like 1230. And we blow the opportunity to get the guest because he woke up too late and the guest was no longer available. Okay, can we flash back now? Okay. A week before the trip, you guys announced to me. Yep. That you're going to England. Yes.

And that you're going to sit down with the sidemen. Yep. Do you remember what my response was? I don't remember. You going to sit down with the sidemen. Do you remember what my response was? I don't remember. You're not going to get the sidemen. Okay, now here's the deal. Will? We did have them.

Well, did you? I'm going to argue something differently. Did you? Okay, I'm going to argue something differently. Well, you know, the other thing is, though, I was wrong. You guys had a great time at the fight. Didn't go to the fight. We did not go to the fight.

Oh! That's so strange! That was a matter of personal preference, though. Oh, okay. Okay, we- I just didn't- I didn't want to go. I wanted to play Zelda.

Look, here's the deal. Here's the deal. Let me tell you. Dude, you know what? He's right, though. You can only play Zelda- In London, yeah. Hassan and I, if you know what? He's right, though. You can only play Zelda in England. Hassan and I, if you would have been there, Will, that's the difference.

Bullshit. If you would have been there, you would have known. You've been friends with Hassan for 10 years. You're like, this is not Hassan. He's not awake. I'm going to go wake him up. You would have woken him up, and we would have filmed that podcast. Speak on it, King.

You would have woken him up. You weren't there to wake him up. We would have filmed that podcast. Oh, speak on it, King. You would have woken him up. You weren't there to wake him up. We're not doing this. Get his ass in the comments section. You know what this is? This is when your significant other cheats on you and then blames you. You are emotionally unavailable. It wouldn't have come to this if-

You physically were unavailable. This is fucking horse cock in the comments. I need people to come to my aid. I called X, Y, and Z of why this was a bad trip idea. And it played out in real motherfucking time. If I was there, I would have been consumed by my own depression. Will abandoned us in a foreign country to fight for ourselves. And in an undeveloped foreign country,

British people. That's right. Why didn't you just wake him up? Because... Actually, that is a good question. So I've made a decision, by the way. I knew you guys were going to do this. And I've made a decision

on how I'm going to remedy this. Okay. Are we going to go somewhere? We're going to Brazil. Oh. Wait, wait. I'm I'm going to remedy this. Okay. Are we going to go somewhere? We're going to Brazil. Oh. Wait, wait. I'm planning the entire thing. I'm not going. Fear and Carnival, we're going to Brazil. Wait, but Brazil sounds dangerous.

Gay as fuck. Dude, the national pastime in England is stabbing. What are we even talking about? That's true. Okay, but we're in Brazil and who are we getting on the podcast? We're going to Rio. Are we getting Ronaldo on the podcast? Lula da Silva. Yes. Wait, is Ronaldo from Brazil?

The current leader of Brazil. The current leader of Brazil. Is Ronaldo? He's a communist. I don't know. Where's Ronaldo from? Where Brazil is. Are you thinking of Ronaldinho?

That's, fuck. Ronaldo and Ronaldinho are both, well, unless you're talking about Cristiano Ronaldo, but Ronaldo, there is a Brazilian, there is a Brazilian. No, I was thinking about the Brazilian one. There are plenty of Brazilian. Ronaldo's, Ronaldinho's is also.

I was thinking of those ones. You were not thinking of those. I was definitely. You were thinking of Cristiano Ronaldo. No, I was not. Cancel him. Here's what I want to do. Okay.

I want to go to carnival. Okay. I want to take dance classes. Okay. When is it? Down in Brazil. That I don't know okay we can figure that out but i i want to take dance classes in brazil all of us all of us wait

why don't we take them in america and then go to brazil so then they already think we can dance uh your plan it happened it happened we missed it in febru happened in February. Well. So February of next year, we're going to Brazil. That's not happening. I bet money on it. Why is it not happening? Because I just look at us. See, this is the problem. I don't want to go.

I can plan a good trip. I believe that. Okay. Here's my decision. Let's go to Idaho. Let's go to Japan at the end of next month for the VCTs. I'm not going. Wait.

Yes. I'm not going. Cutie, we got to get you on a plane. I'm not going. Wait. Yes. I'm not going. Cutie, we got to get you on a plane. I'm going to... Cutie, cutie, here's my offer. Uh-huh. We stay. We run the podcast. We'll be fine. How much was your ticket to Taylor Swift? My individual ticket? Yes. Well, I'm going three times. How much was one of them? The most

expensive. What's $50,000 divided by 20? How much was half of one? Jesus Christ expensive. What's 50,000 divided by 20? How much was half of one? Jesus Christ, cutie. $50,000? $2,500 was my most expensive ticket. $2,500? Uh-huh.

What if we paid for all three of your Taylor Swift tickets out of the fear and fun and you have to come to Japan? I'm so rich, I don't care. Okay. Shit. Yeah, well, i don't know why you thought that was gonna be an angle a dab because i i'm just trying cutie i'll give you my boyfriend bought him for me cutie you don't have 150 000 yes the fuck i do you're poor oh that's right i'm very broke whoa yo you you got so serious and so real for a moment that's true

he's poor look at his shirt. Okay, so first elephant in the room. That's a low blow. First elephant in the room. Excuse you, cutie. Wait, hold on. Stop the film or keep the film running. What the hell is wrong with my shirt, cutie? I thought it was funny. Nothing. It just looks like my napkin from

Chili's. Oh my god. Oh my god. Okay, we'll just let that run, you guys. I've gotten so many compliments on this shirt. I just wanted to be mean. I didn't mean it. Okay, yeah, bullshit. You're very good at that.

Being mean? Yeah. Yeah, it's because I was bullied my entire life, so I just, like, project now. Okay, I think... We got done with the first elephant in the room. Okay. We got done with the first elephant.

Look, London was a huge success. It was. It was very... What was the most fun thing the room. Okay. We got done with the first elephant. Look, London was a huge success. It was. It was very massive. We had a great podcast. What was the most fun thing you did? Leaving. Uh-oh. Tears of the Kingdom. And I'm the asshole.

I trapped myself in my hotel room and played Tears of the Kingdom for like eight hours and it was fucking fire. I spent the entire trip getting drunk in the hotel bar. Dude, you know what? At one point, there was a clip of you and like Marsh said something like, yeah, Will called it. This is a disaster. And you're like, no, you know what at one point there's a clip of you and like Marsh said something like yeah Will called it this is a disaster and you're like

no you know what Will should be with us suffering yes that is his job to suffer it's 100% I stand by that

I stand by that and any of you Sims that say no Will was right Sims no just logical people just normal people

it's your content he is a part of the people making the content my that would have been content it 100 100 would have been content which is fine okay it's fine i did see the clip where you were lying about being on the beetles roof and i was dying i thought wasn't that a great bit oh fuck you yeah that was a great bit i convinced him he was telling his love lying. That was a great bit. I convinced him. He was telling his family, too. Okay, listen.

He was calling his family. He's like, I'm at the Beatles rooftop from 1959. We already covered all this. We already covered these bases. Why are you making him sound like what's eating Gilbert Grape? We already covered this base.

I know. Sorry. Listen. Listen. We're moving on from this to the next elephant in the room, which is the real elephant in the room. It's a big elephant.

It's a big one. Yep. Stop looking at me. People that I know personally have basically led to the demise of the Taylor Swift fandom. No, they haven't. In the funniest ways possible. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

And you have to now become a Mattie Healy stan. No, listen, okay. Are you defending Taylor's actions for dating that man? What? Oh, wait, am I on the wrong side of it? No, no, no, you're on the right side of it. No, no, go on. Keep, keep.

No, no. No, you know what? Taylor's an independent woman. She can do whatever she wants. Oh, so it's okay that she can like date like the worst man in the history of the planet. I can't believe what he said about ice spice.

Yeah, that's so fucked up. Slurs. Here's, here's the- Could you say some of those slurs for us? Can you repeat some of those slurs? With an accent

or without the accent? Do you think- Oh, she's ready. Whoa, the Swifties have turned. They're racist now. Listen,

Swifties, this is a PSA to all swifties i'm gonna break the fourth wall right now and say we love caring about blondie right we love it we love diving in figuring out all about our life we love being parasocial and claiming that we're not we do it is time you are not getting a box seat dog dog. It is time to stop. She is 32, 33 years old now. She can date whoever the fuck she wants. You guys are crazy.

Yep, psychotic. There are people who are like, she deserves better. She deserves to do whatever the fuck she wants. She's a millionaire. She's so much smarter than you'll ever be. That's making too much sense. Now defend. Now, hold on.

No, no, no, no. That makes sense. That makes sense. Pull back into the matrix that what does that say about Taylor Swift though well it's funny because

like I've been saying this the whole week this is so dumb oh really oh oh nothing it says nothing

about her some of the jokes that he has made I will I would say arguably you have made you have

whoa whoa I've never made those jokes after I listened to that episode of the Adam Freeman podcast I sobbed I would say arguably you have made, you have made. Whoa! Whoa! I've never made those jokes. Katie, after I listened to that episode of the Adam Freeman podcast, I sobbed in a corner. Did you? For days. Yeah.

I never made a joke. It broke me. It shook me to my very core. It sucks because there are people, I did a deep dive the other day on my stream, and there were people getting really mad at me. But the thing is, if you genuinely look at each item that

they're calling him out for there is usually context or an apology for each one even the ice spice thing he apologized how do you justify listen as a I'm just fine as a red person myself of what the ginger persuasion

he made fun of a Gaelic name what was the name can you please pull it up your persuasion. He made fun of a Gaelic name. What was the name? Can you please pull it up? Google what Gaelic name did Matt He said it sounded like a garden implement. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you have to relive

that. As a British man, he has contributed to centuries of your oppression. I'm not okay. Oh, here it is. Girl with an Irish name. What was her Irish name? Please play it. Dervs?

Billy Rave Brains. Dervla. I'm sorry. Dervla. What? Okay, that does sound like you would guard it. Play the clip. Mocking and...

There's a clip. Damn, he's making too much sense. Play the clip. Oh, it's on the clip. Yeah, they can't even show the video because it's so disturbing. Listen, this brings me to a bigger point. I will make fun of any name ever. All names are treated equal.

Yeah? Yeah. Make fun of the names that... Make fun of Austin's old name. Okay. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about. Okay.

Or, wait, make fun of... He just says stuff. Look at this guy. Make fun of the... Make fun of... Wait, make fun of Ice Spice and Ice Spice's name. Ice Spice? What is she, a frozen spice girl?

That was actually kind of... The Adam Friedland show. That is kind of what they said. Is that what they said? Yeah. I haven't watched it. They said she was a spice girl. That was actually kind of. The Adam Friedland show. That is kind of what they said. Is that what they said? Yeah. I haven't watched it. They said she was a Spice Girl. That was not funny at all, cutie.

What the fuck? Are you secretly a Comptown fan? No, I've never watched it. Wait, was he on Comptown? She's had Stavros on multiple times. I've hung out with Stavros. I've hung out with him. I've sat in this room with Stavros.

Yeah. No, I think, I think like, I don't know. I think sometimes things are in poor taste i believe i hear me out actually i'm curious as a bunch of i did a lot of preparation for this yeah me too what do you think about that maniac sucking on the fingers of fans that's weird it's really fucking weird but does that mean he's deplorable and should like i don't know no i don't know you know what will let's put your life under a fucking microscope why are you defending maddie healy you're not getting in the he doesn't know what he wants you're not getting in the box i'm getting

in the box are not with maddie healy well i'm with cutie i just think i'm getting in that box in general we're being a little weird he would sell his own mother out for this Taylor Swift box. I don't know why you want to go so bad. He's not even going to like it. I love concerts. Okay? Remember when she gets dragged out in the janitor box? So it's not even because of Taylor Swift.

You just want to go to any concert. You just want to go to any concert. I fucking love free food in boxes. I have to pay for the food. Well, that's free to me. I'm. I love to pay for the food. Well, that's free to me. I'm I love eating the nachos. I love when food is free in places where

you can definitely get better food. Matty Healy sig-hiled at a concert. I can't defend that. Because he was making fun of Kanye. Is that a good joke? No. Is there context? Yes. Everything has context. She's too yeah damn it she's she's everything has contact she's too powerful so finger sucking has context he's just cringe that's just so cringe and gross but also

like bon jovi used to make out with women you know i'm saying like true it's just like so so other people did worse things so it's okay is that what you're saying forever celebrities or artists, musical artists, have taken advantage of their platforms in deplorable ways, mind you. Yes. But they've done it. Justin Bieber used to bring girls up and sing Baby, Baby, Baby to them. Yeah, and Usher used to come up and do that too for Baby, Baby, Baby.

Wait, but that's not the same as sucking on the fingers. I know, but I'm saying I think sucking on the fingers is gross. I think he's gross for that. I think he's a gross guy, but is he deplorable and she deserves better? No, you're cringe. Leave her alone. Let her do whatever she fucking wants. There's also, like, apparently there was a type of porn that he's into. Yes. Apparently that was a joke, too.

Okay, well, wait. But that's another thing. You're brushing aside a lot of problematic aspects of Taylor Swift. The thing is, is there are going to be people in the comments that are like her favorite man racism or whatever there will be people that say that but i think my biggest problem is i see it happen too much on the internet where people are dissected and there's no humanity given and i think people deserve some humanity where it's like yeah what about humanity to the victims oh god i'm such a bad person you are so bad i'm such a bad you're a really good liberal you know that because oh yeah you spent

no time in that space because i because i get this is literally i'm just repeating things that people say to me when i've never even like i i've never even like defended man he was like i don't know anything about him he just said i'm hot and also I want to have him on the podcast so I don't give a shit. He said you're hot? Is he bi? No one knows. He's ambiguous. Cutie, we've brushed past all the kind of gleaning. He shouldn't have licked anyone's finger.

Would you fuck Matt Healy? Listen, that's neither here nor there. What we do have to say about is it's time for Cutie Cinderella to make a fucking decision. What? Oh my god. Are we canceling Taylor Swift or not? No. The question is, are you really

a Taylor Swift fan? Because you want to be a Jets fan. What? I'm just saying! I'm just saying I want to point some out to you. Aaron Rodgers' first appearance in MetLife Stadium, where all the New York Jets games are played.

His first appearance, Taylor Swift concert. He's a big fan. He loves her. He's not a Jets fan. He's a money fan. That's why he's playing for the Jets. He's probably taking less money to play for the Jets. I don't know how that works.

Damn double L for Aaron Rodgers. He just won know how that works. Damn double L for Aaron Rodgers. He just won a new city and you... Don't think Aaron Rodgers doesn't love you. He doesn't know you. He doesn't love your franchise. You have Kirk Cousins

as a QB. You're a thin fucking ice. Okay, hold on. Hold on, Will. You know what? Play the tape. I bet we get a better season with Kirk Cousins.

Play the tape. There's a lot of that. Too many. Too many to count. The only one I know is that I'm feeling 22. Please run that back. What's your favorite Taylor Swift song? Too many.

Too many to count. The only one I know is that I'm feeling 22. Bro, that's like what you say. That's what Austin says. At the end, he comes back and he names three different albums, and then he talks about specifics on folklore. So he is a Swifty for sure. So are you going to finally own the fuck up

and endorse America's team? The first team with a Muslim head coach. I don't know why. The first team to endorse Colin Kaepernick's actions publicly. America's team. Or are you going to stay in england with your racism and your hatred that is kind of your bigotry that's true jets are just are like a ranking file macaroni and cheese seedy backroom hand jobs jets are the working class team for sure here's the deal so i could

also say that honestly who isn't a fan of taylor swift's music if you did that same interview with any football team i you know what's a good point so if anything the jets are using taylor to promote their own social media i'm gonna say this out loud it's true cutie cinderella no longer a swifty endorsing her insane behavior with matt healy every football team loves taylor swift there's. Every football team loves Taylor Swift. There's not a football team out there that doesn't. A real Swifty would want what's best for Taylor Swift, and that is to get away from that guy.

Thank you. True, true. He is deplorable. The thing is, is like, okay, regardless, Swifties, if he's that bad, they won't stay together anyway. Cutie. So get over it. Cutie.

It's fine. I've heard enough. What? We're moving on. Oh, no, no. I want to, I want to stay on this because this is a lot of fun. I feel like you're in the hot seat. It's not, it's, it's whatever.

There'll be people that'll say all sorts of stuff. I think he has done really gross, stupid shit. I don't think like, I think it's weird of you as a human to be like, she deserves better. That's crazy. I thought we loved Taylor. i thought we did too i thought we loved taylor and we support the team that she supports we love her and which is the new york jets she doesn't support the jets she's an eagles fan but she doesn't know she's a jets fan yeah okay then i'm an eagle they're both green she got confused because they're both green yeah why do you think that stupid? Well, in the fifth song of every album,

it's a very emotional song. Yes, I was just about to say that. She actually references flight and being in the air in multiple fifth albums. Eagles fly too, though. But. Eagles also fly. That's part of the slogan, fly, eagles fly.

That's why she got confused. Wait, what? Would you ever fly on an eagle? No. No, I wouldn't. What would you fly on? J-E-T-S-J-S-J-E-T. That's fucking right.

You're a Jets fan too. A dreamliner. That's Jet. So I actually have every color that Taylor Swift has ever mentioned, by the way. Yep. Let me send this to you right now, Marsh. Why do you have that ready to go? What the fuck? Wait. every color that she's mentioned i cannot

brush past that statement that came out of your fucking mouth please pull that up what you have a google doc of every color it's a reddit but it is um it is every color taylor swift has ever mentioned and green isn't one of the top ones. Oh. You know what? Oh, she's mentioned green. Red, blue, and white. The Patriots colors are highly mentioned. Hold on. I will say

gold. All three of those colors have been mentioned more than green. Gold is a Vikings color. Kind of. But the fifth song is the most emotional song. That's the one that matters the most. She doesn't mention green. But the fifth song is the most emotional song. That's the one that matters the most. She doesn't mention green. Cutie, this is insane.

What? Do I need to study this to get in the box? Yeah. Is there going to be a quiz? Yeah. You need to be multiple levels more mentally ill to be able to get into the Taylor Swift box. I think I got it what it takes.

You do not got what it takes. I'm getting in that box. Think about the tweet that got what it takes. I'm getting in that box. Think about the tweet that we could tweet when you and I are in that box. What would the tweet be? Oh, my God, I'm in the box. Oh, my God, Cutie gave me a ticket. But, what? Doesn't she say welcome to New York in one of her songs?

Yeah, she loves New York. Wait. Oh! What team? Wait, I'm sorry. Is it new york eagles i think not for the record if you're a galer galer believe galers believe that new york haunts her because of carly claus because she has a song called cornelia street that talks about how new york screams your name no new york concert because the jets haven't won that's why it's like haunting

to think about the defeat and the suffering that she feels every time. One of her most famous covers ever, Kelly Clarkson did a cover of her. Jets original color, Kelly Green. I rest my case. Oh, my God. You're so good. You're so good.

No, you're right. You're right. I love the Jets. Thank God you have me as a fan. We did it. This will surely love the Jets. Thank God you have me as a fan. We did it. This will surely make the Jets win. So you've outed yourself as a fake Swifty and also pro Jets. That's what's going on so far.

I guess so. Aaron Rodgers is an anti-vaxxer. Because I should hate Matty Healy. I don't care about Matty Healy's existence. Aaron Rodgers is an anti-vaxxer. I would like to make that very clear. Let's break down this one fan that went to a Taylor Swift concert. Oh, no.

Piece by piece. People are crazy. Guys, leave her alone, you freaks. Go to my profile. You guys are being crazy. Look for the tweet where I say, we are never going to get health care. Oh.

Yeah. Oh, I think they deleted their tweet. They privated their account. Fuck. Someone must have. Someone must have. Cutie, I just feel a little attacked that you've made these PowerPoints. And then when Hassan and I prepare our own well-documented,

tailor-stuffed information, you throw it out. I'm sorry. I acknowledge you and I hear you thank you but i don't agree with you thank you i'm on your side cutie thank you austin austin doesn't even know what's been going on for the last 10 minutes i'm zoning out after this well this next uh elephant in the room regards austin oh god it look it's it doesn't have to be about me but no it does go on but feel free it does i hate that you're so normal about the taylor swift i know i know well like you said pretty much everything i've said so far about

the saga and i you you forced my hand to become i didn't even like joe joe was cringe like people are like people are like taylor deserves better did you see joe he was white bread of a human like you weren't upset about that? He was so lame. Who is good enough for Taylor Swift? If I were to date Taylor Swift? That's not. Would you approve of it? Were you going to say QDC? John Mayer was good enough.

John Mayer was hot enough for Taylor Swift but he was an asshole. What about Justin Bieber? No, he's an asshole and he's not hot. Okay, so the question I have for you is this. Shawn Mendes. Harry Styles was good enough for Taylor Swift. The question I have for you is this.

That's a dream. Shawn Mendes. What does that, what does it say about Taylor Swift that she keeps finding herself with men like this? She's like every other human out there that has the same type. She was pissed. She's got daddy issues that happens who doesn't

that allowed i don't have daddy do you have daddy issues do you have daddy are we allowed to say taylor swift has daddy issues if you don't think taylor swift has daddy issues please go watch miss americana and the way that her dad controlled her so much oh my god especially when he was like uh talking about politics because of the dixie chicks the dixie chicks lost their career because of it you mean the chicks michael jordan they go by the oh my god i actually republicans buy sneakers too since the last podcast i did see that documentary the whole thing yes i watched the whole thing really tell me about her eating disorder um she would look at photos of herself and be like she would see herself and she would

like notice like just a little bit of like whatever. And she would, she developed, uh, she like wouldn't eat after she would see pictures of herself, like in the, in the,

in the tabloids. And how is she hiding from the tabloids? Uh, she just would hide. In what? What would she hide in? Austin was so close to being in that box. Austin was so close.

I honestly, no, I remember she was in the Escalade talking about this and she was on, she was on her phone and she's like, she looked at something

and then she, it seems like you didn't pay enough attention. No, she felt herself, she felt herself slipping back to that old person and then she stopped herself. She said,

no, we're not that person anymore. We're not doing that anymore. Okay. It's crazy you don't remember. She used to be in like containers and they would take her out of her apartment and put her in cars. Okay, see, I don't remember that part. Okay, I don't remember that part. Because otherwise she'd just get surrounded by people. Yeah, I don't remember she used to be in like containers and they would take her out of her apartment and put her in cars

okay see that seems weird okay I don't remember that part because otherwise she just gets surrounded by people yeah I don't remember that part okay sorry we're putting an end

to the Tara Swift chapter now we're talking about the next elephant in the room and this is a big fucking elephant last night I went to go get some ice cream

oh my god wait let me let me start it by telling you this part of the story I'm telling you this is the best way no no no we though. Cause it was behind the paywall. Trust, trust, trust. Just, just let me tell you from my perspective. Okay. There I am in a family ice cream store, seven o'clock at night, families all around me. That's fun. All of a sudden my

phone starts dinging. Hey sir, can I help you? One second. I got to check my phone. All of a sudden, my phone starts dinging. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Hey, sir, can I help you? One second. I got to check my phone. I get a text message from Hasan Piker. Austin's show is at my house. He's trying to break in my house. Wait, this is why I said.

Wait, hold on. This is why I said. Let me explain it first. Let me explain it first. Okay. So before we get to this point. Oh, no. Before we'll get to this point.

Okay. It's okay. I'm sorry that I'm going to. the video. I've ended the broadcast. I've ended my stream. I'm about to kick back and relax. I get a phone call from Carl Jacobs in North Carolina

who tells me Austin is about to be at your house. I thought, how odd. Why are you telling me this, Carl jacobs and then i get a phone call from austin immediately after that so i was like carl i gotta go i'll pick this up right now and i hear noises outside okay like keys rattling you know what i mean it's like it's like a horror story and i'm like what the fuck is going on and austin goes i'm outside of your

house you need to let me in right now and i thought this is crazy what the fuck is going on and austin goes i'm outside of your house you need to let me in right now and i thought this is crazy what the fuck is going on to which austin responded stop looking at kitty stop to which austin responded i need to come inside i need to get the clothes yes to then immediately i panicked and before austin walked in the house, looked for backup. Okay, but, but, but. So I texted the group chat. You need to explain, because they don't know, because they may not be subscribed to the paywall of the episode about the clothes, what we bought.

They don't even know about the clothes. I'll explain. Okay. A few weeks ago, Austin basically challenged us to style him like his favorite style influencer who almost never wears a shirt. Never. It's basically just. He basically just the hot dude. So we very easily found his clothes,

and it was going to be a bit that we were going to dress Austin. Now, it's a very expensive bit. $2,000. $2,000. And multiple weeks of preparation. And we were very excited when the clothes got here. I got text messages from Hasan going, Austin's trying to break in.

He's trying to forcibly take the clothes. He won't listen to me. He calls me at the ice cream store and he goes, Will, I'm gonna put you on speakerphone. And Austin's like, Will, Will, Will. Like halfway between a smack addict

and a zombie. He was like, I need the clothes. I need the clothes. And I'm like, Austin, the whole bit is that you try the clothes on the paywall. It was like, I need the clothes. I need the clothes. Yeah. And I'm like, Austin, the whole bit is that you try the clothes on the paywall. It's like, we got a new bit. We got a new bit. I break in.

I steal the clothes. I go to the Abbey. I have a great time. And we're like, Austin, no. And he's like, I need the clothes. I did. I needed the clothes. Cutie, I had no outfit for the Abbey last night.

I had no outfit. I went naked. He kept telling him no, and he would not hear it. I thought it'd be cool to wear the clothes out to the Abbey because I needed an outfit, number one. Number two, I don't know.

Like, even if I messed them up, they'd love it anyway, right? No, the entire point is for you to wear this clown-ass outfit for the first time on camera. You think it's clown? I don't remember it. No, you picked it.

You think it's a clown-ass outfit. Well, we're about to find out if it is a clown-ass outfit or not. But the point was that you were going to, for the first time ever, see it on camera. The green jacket, the stolen jacket is what I wore to the Abbey because it's the only thing I had in my suitcase was the stolen jacket. I just want you to picture me in a family ice cream store and Austin's voice blasting through my speakers going,

Will, I need to get some dick. I'm going to the Abbey. I'm practically naked. I need these clothes. We got a new angle. I'm going to steal the clothes. I never said, Will the clothes. I never I never said

I never said I need to go get dick at the Abbey. I would never say that. I trust him. There are two things I would never say in this world. I'm going to get dick at the Abbey or the F slur. None of those things are part of my vocabulary. I know he was saying both of them. You called Kaya the F slur earlier.

What? Why did you do that to the dog? He's his both of them. You called Kaya the F slur earlier. I did. What? Why did you do that to the dog? Wait. He's his slur monster. I did call her an F slur. He's a slur machine. It's so goddamn funny. What's so funny is I was like, wait, did I call her the F slur?

Why would you call Kaya that? Well, no, it's because I... First of all, but theoretically, I did say it when Marsh was in the room and I couldn't remember if I called her the F-slur. Theoretically? Theoretically? You didn't know if you called the dog it or Marsh? No, what...

Marsh, who did I call the theoretically the F-slur? Theoretically. You were talking about... Oh. Oh, you were calling gay people the F-slur. No! At the Abbey. That's ridiculous.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I would never do that. I would never say that word in general. And Hassan knows it. Theoretically, he said it. Hassan, if you were to leak our text messages right now, none of it would show anything of the sort.

Speaking of which, you had a bad experience at the Abbey. I did. Yes, I did. Today was my first bad experience at the Abbey. What happened? Well, I go to the Abbey, and I'm thinking, oh, I'm going to meet some nice, beautiful experience at the Abbey. What happened? Well, I go to the Abbey, and I'm thinking, oh, I'm going to meet some nice, beautiful men at the Abbey, and it's going to be a great time.

He's the gay Donald Trump. Some nice, beautiful, clean boys, good boys at the Abbey. I go to the Abbey. This is the most desperate thing anyone has ever done. Okay, first of all, I go to the Abbey by myself. In the middle of the Sunday afternoon. It is Labor Day weekend. It's Labor Day weekend.

Nobody was here. In the middle of a Sunday afternoon by himself. It's Labor Day weekend. Yes, I went last night and I went again today. Did you just sleep there? Do they have a bed for you? No, they don't. I stayed at a beautiful...

Awesome. I'm sticking out for you. It's Labor Day weekend. Thank you. It's a very gay weekend. I went and sat at the bar. It's Labor Day weekend. At the bar. And I was thinking, oh my God, I'm having a great time. It's Labor Day weekend. Thank you. It's a very gay weekend. I went and sat at the bar. It's Labor Day weekend. At the bar.

And I was thinking, oh my God, I'm having a great time. There's so many wonderful men here. And there were. There was tons of men. I was enjoying the sights. And, you know, the only guy that came up to hit on me was this guy comes up to me and he says, you're so sexy. And I'm like, oh, who's this?

And I turn and I'm like, oh, God. And he's like, you're so sexy. And'm like well thank you sir you're you look a little old enough to be my father but you know it's uh you know great and then uh he proceeds to tell me his age he says he's 54 years old sure um which is fine no problem and then he proceeds to tell me that his dick, he starts to talk about his penis. Sure. And he tells me that his dick, what did he say about his dick?

Magnificent. No, it wasn't magnificent. Enormous. No, I typed it in Hosscord. I typed it in Hosscord? Hold on, I did. I typed it in Hosscord. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. He said, oh, his dick was beyond belief is what he told me.

He told me about his dick. It was beyond belief. In the middle of the day? In the middle of the day. And then he proceeds to tell me he's not 54. He's 74. And I couldn't get him to go away. Next thing you know, I'm on the dance floor.

Next thing you know, you're kissing him. No, but it was a bad experience. He was very weird, and I was uncomfortable. Not because he was 74, but it's just like, get away from me. You know what I mean? It sounds like it was because he was 74. No, it had nothing to do with his age. Also, you guys are so concerned with me and Taylor Swift.

Why aren't you concerned that Austin is the biggest Hassan stan in the world? That he's in his fan Discord every day. Imagine if I was in Taylor Swift's fan Discord and then I go to lunch with her. And I'm like, hey, I was just hanging out with your fans last night. You know what, cutie? Hosscord is a safe space. No, it's not. No.

I've tried. I'm in stupid Hosscord. It's because you're a straight white woman. That's why it's not a safe space for you. They don't accept you there. And I've muted it. I've muted it Hoss Court. It's because you're a straight white woman. That's why. It's not a safe space for you. They don't accept you there. And I've muted it. I've muted it a hundred times just because I don't,

I should just leave it. I have muted your fucking Discord a thousand times and I'm still getting pings. I don't get it. I can't get rid of them. You know what? You can't mute social justice. Okay?

We have to fight it. Yeah, Austin is in the Hoss Court for social justicein austin is in the hoskord for social justice right i'm in the hoskord for social justice they pay him attention no look they give him the most attention i've been getting a lot of attention lately and it's starting to get a little annoying people notice me on the streets and i'm not enjoying it trump these i just can't many people are coming up to me in the streets. Too much attention, folks. They're saying, Austin, we love you. No, they're usually Hasan Abiy heads that want to meet.

Who would have thought? Look, I think we just happen to share a lot of fans. Yep. Yeah. They're usually my fans first. Austin, I'm on as many things with Hasan as you, and I've never, ever had someone approach me and be like, I love your stuff with Hassan. No, they don't say that outwardly.

I just, I ask them what they... I ask them immediately. Because he wants to know if they're like only fans of his or they know him through my stream. So I always go like, you know, somebody will approach me with like blue hair and piercings. Oh my, you are gay Donald Trump. I do. Blue hair, piercings. Blue hair and piercings. Oh, my. You are gay, Donald Trump. I do.

Blue hair, piercings. Blue hair, piercings. Very disrespectful. Blue hair, people. It's okay. I say, what are you, one of those queer types? And I'll be like, are you a Hassan Abiyad? And before I even finish, yes.

You know what I mean? But, I mean, look, they're wonderful people. They're the backbone of this country. They're the backbone of this country. They're the backbone of this country. You are right, though. He should be banned from my Discord. Yes, he should be. You're a problem.

It's weird how much he's in there. Get him out. Get him out. Guys, it's a safe space for gay people. I think his life would genuinely be worse if he didn't have round-the-clock access to my house. No, I could survive without HouseCourt for a week. Ban him. Ban him for a week.

Don't you do that. Don't you do that. I think everybody would. There's so many queer people in there. I'm going to lose. I'm leaving your stupid ass discord. Whoa. What the fuck?

I was trying to be in it. I was trying to be supportive, but I can't stop getting pings. All right. Okay. It's time. I'm going to leave it. It's time. What?

Go put on the fucking outfit. Should we pay a wallet? But he can't see it in front of him either. No. It's time. It's time. What? Go put on the fucking outfit. Should we pay wallet? But he can't see it in front of a mirror. No. Yeah, we don't want to pay wallet. Shake tits. You have to do it over there because you can't see it in a mirror. No, no, no.

He can take the shirt off. Take that cock out. We'll blur it. Cutie, that's really cute that you said that. We already tested to see if Austin looks good in this light. He found his light. He literally found his light. That is bullshit.

Hassan's a bad friend. No, this is absolutely true. He took each face. He literally had a light meter, and he was going around scanning for where his abs look best. He ruined the sexiness of this moment. Sorry, sorry. Let's go back.

He killed the sexiness of the moment. Cue the music, Will. No, that is not even. Okay, where's the shirt? I killed the sexiness of the moment. Cue the music, Will. No, that is not even. Okay, where's the shirt? I need the shirt. Take it off first. Judy, it's in the box next to you. This is bullshit.

I was going to take off my shirt. I already hid it. And he had to ruin it. Take off your shirt. No, nobody's going to talk about it. What's wrong with you? Nobody's going to talk about it. Nobody's going to talk about it. Here, give it to me. Don't touch it. Take your fucking shirt off. What's wrong? Why the best camera. I'm going to shit my pants. Cutie, you got it.

No, no, hold on. Wait, why? Then your face can be seen in the other camera. Hold on, Cutie. My face isn't the best part. Stop buttoning them back up. I need the shirt so I can put it on right after. I can't.

I'm not going to sit here with my shirt off that long. People got to pay for that. Cutie, here, here, here. You know what I mean? So we got you a whole outfit. You didn't stay for what we got you. Cutie, be very careful with that box cutter, baby. Got it.

There you go. Don gets excited around box cutters. You're going to do this favorite holiday. Don't cut towards you. What's my favorite holiday? 9-11. Oh, God. Oh, my God. That was actually a good-ass 9-11 joke.

Respect. Hey. That's a bad joke. That was a very funny joke. Yeah, if you dated Taylor Swift. You can never date Taylor Swift. joke. Respect. Hey. That's a bad joke. That was a very funny joke. Yeah, if you dated Taylor Swift. You can never date Taylor Swift. Yeah. Oh, wow.

She's excusing Mattie Healy. Did Mattie Healy make 9-11 jokes? That's the one joke he didn't make. He should have, though. What the fuck? This box is stupid. You know what? I'll open it.

No, I got it. Men, fuck you. Okay, make sure that there's no receipt in there, though. Yeah. Oh, I'm going to make sure there's a receipt. I'm going to show everyone. Okay, please. It there's no receipt in there though. Yeah. Oh, I'm gonna I'm gonna make sure there's receipt I'm gonna show everyone. Okay, please I Don't know. I'm not changing my pants on the stream. Yes, you are. You just have to do it

No, cuz there's a mirror out there. Oh No one's gonna care. Look at that nice box. I got it. I got a tiny whip pee pee when I'm... Fucking men always trying to open the jar and shit. I can't. I don't look good. Okay, first of all, like, you can step aside from the camera for the pants, but you take the shirt off on camera. All right, but you can't.

That means you can't show that camera. There's no other place to... This is the outfit we got? Yeah. This is what he wanted. We got two shirts. Yeah. Wait, wait. Which one are we doing? Do you get the white? No, we're doing this one. Yeah, we're doing that. Wait we got? Yeah. This is what he wanted. We got two shirts. Yeah. Wait, wait.

Which one are we doing? Did you get the white? No, we're doing this one. Yeah, we're doing this one. Wait, there's more. There's pants and stuff in there, no? It's this one. This is the shirt.

Yeah, that's the shirt. Yeah, but what's this shirt that we also got? It's just another very... What, you bought me another shirt? Yeah. I think it's the same one. Okay, all right, all right. I'm putting it on for the first time.

Okay. Okay, take it off. Take my shoes off. Take that shit off, you slut. Jesus. Take your fucking top the first time. Okay. Okay, take it off. Take that shit off, you slut. Jesus! Take your fucking top off right now. Okay. I don't know how to close this.

Oh, I got it. Let's see those goddamn nipples. Oh, my God. Come on. This is whoring me out. Take that fucking shirt off. No, it's supposed to be skin tight. Dude, they're like a wetsuit.

We got you the same size as the boy you like. No, it's supposed to be skin tight. Will's right. It is like a wetsuit. We got you the same size as the boy you like. No, it's supposed to be skin tight. Will's right. It is like a wetsuit. Oh, God. Oh, I hate it. I hate him. He's such a bitch.

He's such a bitch. I was not prepared for this moment at all. If we were not on camera, I'd call you the F-sler right now. This is not something that I'm prepared for. Take the tag off. I hope nobody makes any fun of you. Take the tag off. I hope nobody makes any faces. Take the tag off before you put it on. Lexi gets trapped so hard.

He's like, ugh. That's just how I look when I breathe. You got it? Sorry, I can't get him over my... Okay, go put the pants on. Now put the pants on. Dude, you look so gay. It looks great.

That's a good shirt, yeah. It looks really fucking good. You have to take the pants. Wait, okay, I'm just going to go behind. I won't look in the mirror. No! No! I promise.

We don't trust you. You're the least trustworthy person in the world. Yeah So you can go here. No, you can come here Because he's gonna have it on them I'm not going to I don't know. I don't know what Turn the camera to him right now while he's struggling. It's pretty funny. Get the camera off of me. It's not going to be on you. It's pretty funny.

Wait, we should have had him put this one on first. No, no, you can put it over. No, no, put it over. That's the final boss. I forgot about this guy. Wait, is that? I should have done it that way. Oh, show his ass.

You got a nice ass, dude. I'm sweaty. No, it's not. No, it's not. Respect his privacy. It's not. You got a booty. He wants it on camera. I don't get it. It feels like he wants it on camera.

You can cut to it. It seems like he likes it. Oh, my God. Are the pants too big? No, he's got a button on them. He just didn't button them. Oh, there's another button. All right, tuck it in.

Okay, tuck it in. What waist size are you? You are so skinny. I know. Oh, my God. Yeah, he's so skinny. Okay. You were today years old when you finally served.

Okay. Okay, put the boots on now. Put the boots on. Yeah, cinch that bitch up. Put the boots on, you skinny bitch. He's going right back to the... Where are these boots from? Yeah, I got this at the end of my...

Wait, no, take that shirt off and put this one on. No, no, no, no. Put that on top of it. No, I think... I want the sheer. Yeah, I want the sheer. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. No, no, no. Put that on top of it. No, I think I want the sheer. Yeah, I want the sheer. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Wait, is sheer... Wait, which one goes

first? You can put the sheer on it, on this as well, but let's for the sake of the camera... Let me have tics. Let's for the sake of this segment. I'm just a little slut today, aren't I? Yeah, take it off again. There you go. What? How do you take your shirt off, Marsh?

How do you do that? This episode's going to do numbers. I know. Okay. The amount of TikTok fancams that are going to come out of this is fucking ridiculous. Yeah, they're all going to come from my TikTok account. Andy Piker might die. Yeah.

Can you hear me? Yeah, I'll take the tag off. I feel very uncomfortable right now. I'm not flexing. Yeah, okay. How can you flex multiple muscles at once, okay? What do you mean? You absolutely can't.

Oh, my God. We've done it. Hassan. Yeah. This is wonderful. Hassan. Tuck it in. Tuck it in.

We've done it. This is so good. There's no way I'm going anywhereuck it in. Tuck it in. We've done it. This is so good. There's no way I'm going anywhere with this one. Wait, what? Listen, what do you mean? The models on Instagram would wear it. First of all, you're doing the podcast like this. No, no, no.

Hold on. Yes, 100%. Wait, I want the other shirt. No, no, no. You're doing it with this. No, this is. Why don't you wear it to the Abbey? This is insane.

It's fun. Look, well, yeah, but can I. No one will is. Why don't you wear it to the Abbey? This is insane. It's fun. Look. Well, yeah, but can I, can I. No one will believe you're a top, by the way. That's what I'm saying. But I like this shirt better. This outfit is a thousand times better than what you wore to the Streamer Awards. Really?

Yes. If you showed up looking like this at the Streamer Awards, oh my God. You look like a disco pirate. By the way, we low-key proved that like we should only dress in. Wait, wait, wait. Can I, can I prove a point? Uh-huh. Marsh, take a photo of his outfit on your phone and tweet it.

And I just want to see within 10 minutes, I bet it's bedlam. On my? Yes. On your alt, whatever that means. You have to do like a nice pose. No, put it on the Fear M podcast, I think. I put it on the podcast? Yeah. Put it on the podcast.

So we can get some fucking SEO going, baby. Get some good life. What's like a cool like man pose? Yeah. Oh my God. What is that face you're doing? Dude, we've just become Howard Stern for days.

We're Howard Stern for days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why don't we get you up on the Sibian? Let's get Austin up on the Sibian. Look at his face. Look at the face he's making. Show the rakes. Show the rakes.

Show the rakes. Don't cover up the muscles yet. Don't cover up. Let's get him up on the Sibian. Oh, please. Keep it together, sweetie. Stop coughing. I feel good that we have started to puddle,

pedal smut like this. Or. Or. Harlot. Yeah, you like that, don't you? Hussie. You fucking like that, don't you? Fuck off.

We should do a makeover like this for all of us. Yeah, I want a makeover. You know what? All this proved, I hope, for all of you at home, is that he doesn't know how to fucking dress himself, and we know how to dress him better. He left. You can't tweet this right now,

because it will expose it for the podcast. Is this the one you want? No, no, no. You look like an action figure in that one. We'll decide how to tweet it tomorrow. I don't know. I'm just trying to prove a point. No, but, no. You look like an action figure in that one. We'll decide how to tweet it tomorrow. I don't know. I'm just trying to prove a point. No, but they want to see the outfit for the first time.

Yeah, that's true. He's right. It's better to save it. Should I change to the other shirt? Yeah, you can. No, no, keep it on. Keep this one on. You slut.

Sit the fuck back down. Yes, sir. Don't step on the outfit. He liked that. I can't believe I'm wearing this. You know what? You know what is funny, though? What? I can't believe I'm wearing this. You know what? You know what is funny though? What?

I guarantee you. Shirt is insane. Both these outfits are now staples in. Yeah. Okay. This one is a little. That one has to have a moment. He said a little too much.

I'm eye to eye with his nips right now. It's a little too much. You could have worn it. I'm so proud of you. I'm actually. I know you're know you're like afraid of saying the F word, right?

But like this outfit is literally just... You know what? This outfit is saying the F word. You know what I will say? We are such good friends because we took you

from modern family dad gay to like Vogue hot like Abby gay. You know what? Fast. You know what? I actually love the way i look yes you do wow this is the best this is like reverse queer eye yeah reverse queer eye true we've done it straight eye for the homo guy yeah straight eye for the homo guy it was it it was honestly it was out of like self-preservation here like it was embarrassing

to walk around with you so much really no you're fucking lola lemon pants okay i've been wearing those a little bit after i left london he's being too harsh on you he's been he's being a mean girl can i be honest can i be honest we knew that you felt like a gay on the outside looking in. Thank you. And you needed two big brothers to throw you in the gay mosh pit. Thank you. Two of your straight but homosexual big brothers. You know what?

Did I just get kicked off straight guy for the queer eye or whatever? You weren't as tough on him as we were. We were pretty tough on him. I'm the Johnny. I was in charge of hair, and I did my job. Thank you. We just want you to be comfortable in your skin. I don't know if that's the same.

Well, look, I mean, I will definitely get attention now. Put these on. Now it looks like the Matrix. Okay, I'm not wearing these. Let me see. And give him the gun. Oh, my God. Wait.

Wait, can I see? Can I see? Will you make him big so he can stare at himself? Dude, that is... That's the thumbnail. What are you sitting next to this? You look so gay right now. It's awesome.

I look homophobic sitting next to you. You look like you just flew in from Paris fashion week. What? Okay, yeah, I'll do that. I'll leave mine for a minute. We did. We done good. I look like a gay German.

Oh, yeah. Eins, zwei, in polizweil. Yeah. I'm going to go to the Abbey to get some schwanz. Wait, is that penis? Schwanz? Yeah. Schwanz.

Yeah. Oh, wow. Thank you guys so much. We're just happy. So now this is gonna be A segment though Uh huh We're doing a make out

Our Fuck yeah We're doing a make over We have to make out We're doing a make over For each of us You guys don't need one though You and I kissed one time

Yeah it was awful It was Oh You're a terrible kisser Creator camp Cutie you're a terrible kisser This is what happened She's a terrible kisser No this was so funny camp. Cutie, you're a terrible kisser. This is what happened. She's a terrible kisser.

No, this was so funny. She's an awful kisser. As soon as we kissed at shit camp, and then I said, I said, Austin's a terrible kisser, and he got all pissed, even though it doesn't count.

It was like a switch. Yeah. And he got all pissed, and then he pivoted, and he was like, you're a horrible kisser. Yeah, it's true. Cutie's the worst kisser I've ever kissed.

It was funny, because he got all mad when I said he was a bad kisser. She used, like, she was spitting. We both puckered our lips tighter than assholes. Yeah, she was using like a crazy amount of tongue. It was awful.

What the fuck? It was just like, I was like kissing a lizard. Kill yourself. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I'm never getting in that box. Wait. Oh, look. Wait. Oh, look.

Okay. Now that. Oh, I forgot about the Taylor Swift thing for a second. God damn. Yeah. You're never getting that box. Holy shit.

Yes. I was. We're full Howard Stern. I was crudely talking about a vagina. Oh my God. You should make that a clip and just see how people interpret it. You're never getting that box. You're never getting that box.

Oh god. No, Cutie's a wonderful kisser. You're a bad kisser. Oh, well, you know what? Fuck you. Fuck you and your shitty kisser. This might be the best episode we've ever done. Oh, thank you. Thank you. All we need to do is be a month apart from each other. Should I wear this one or this one?

This one? He keeps trying to change out of the shirt. Yeah. I like this one, but this is like a moment. Yeah. Not just in any one moment. We're on a podcast right now. I know.

This is a moment, and I'm not going to change right now, but later tonight. Oh, if you're going out at night, wear that. No. If you're going to brunch, wear the other one. Okay. Have your night in that. This is very gay. I'm very excited. We need it. Let's continue with other the other one. Okay. Have your night in that. This is very gay. I'm very excited.

We need it. Let's continue with other things. Enough about me. Let's talk about everybody. I like this segment if we just keep dressing Austin every week. That would be a lot of fun.

Yeah because you get pretty close. Well it's going out of his portion of the podcast. Yeah oh by the way. What? What?

Never mind I can't tell you now. Why? Oh. What the fuck? Why are you like that? I can't tell you now why oh what the fuck why are you like that i can't tell you now oh no it's already happened what um remember that meal hassan takes me to london okay and he tells me austin i want to go to afternoon tea i think i know where this is going that's fun yeah it's real fun cutieie. I made the reservation. I put my credit card down, okay? Oh, no.

The bill was 500 pounds. I left it. And he left me with the bill. That's a heavy bill. It was a 500-pound bill, right? I paid it, and I immediately stole it out of the podcast fund from Hasan. That's fair. Wait, from Hasan?

But there's another part to that story. Just take it from the group. fair Wait from Hassan But there's another Part to that story Isn't there No There's another part to that story There was only room For one person To get a Wellington Yes

Correct Yes So Hassan went by himself Yes No I went with I went with Ray Yeah Because

But you didn't go I didn't go No So you were left With the bill And you didn't get any Of the Wellington No

So if I was there Who would I have taken I didn't go. No. So you were left. With the bill. And you didn't get any of the Wellington. No. So if I was there. Who would I have taken to get the Wellington? Not me. It sounds like. Yes, you. You've already had it. I would have wanted to experience it with you one more time. You died for the Wellington.

So you left poor, gay, freezing Austin. Poor, gay, broke. Doesn't have $150,000 to his name. Uh-uh. Right? Uh-uh. Poor, gay, broke Austin. Poor gay broke doesn't have $150,000 to his name. Uh-uh. Right? Poor gay broke Austin. Yeah. All we do

is just trash each other. This podcast has just become us ruining each other. I love this podcast. It's the only thing I do anymore. Yeah,

this is true. It's like the only thing Listen, listen, let me give you my let me give you my perspective on the beef wellington okay i think it was good but i don't think it was as a decadent of it it was a decadent experience but it wasn't as uh incredible as you presented it i will say that

and here's why the pastry was top notch the The outer crust, which is oftentimes, I think, overlooked in a beef Wellington. Like, they don't really focus on that too much. The meat quality was excellent as well. The foie gras in the middle was perfect. Where are we finding fault? It was the crust, the overpowering aromas of the crust that they had between the beef and the pastry. But can we talk about something? What?

You were at tea. You booked the wrong thing. You wanted a Wellington. Yeah, he was demanding it. What did I talk about with the Wellington? I'm sure they went, sir, there is simply no way we can provide you a Wellington and they went to the kitchen and they debated it they crunched the numbers

produced a Wellington the entire meal at the Ritz is like they went to tea we went to high tea thinking that we were going to the restaurant and the restaurant is separate but still under the same banner we told him several times

that the Wellington was not at afternoon tea and he insisted that he was going to get a Wellington. You know where the Wellington was? Oh, you both have problems.

You know where the Wellington was? In my belly. Who has more problems? Because I was right. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that high tea

does not have beef Wellington. Well, money just buys you everything. I was going to get the beef Wellington and I fucking got the Beef Wellington. Who's worse? Both of you are bad.

But who's worse? I would never pull a stunt like that. Do you want to be a worse off? Which building burnt down the worst? I mean, look, I definitely... He's more high maintenance. He's proven himself lately. That's not true.

I would love to change the name of this podcast from Fear and to were terrible yeah kid you wouldn't believe this he couldn't check into his hotel early so he spit in the face of the hotel he's just lying now he never lies which is insane like he put her in a he put her in a chokehold he said give me my fucking room it was okay the fact that you have to be called the fact that you have to lie to make up a story that's worse than you implies how bad you are. You've already-

He had his legs like, what are the spider toes? Rear naked choke. Rear naked choke. It was insane. Poor employee. Yeah, she died. I killed her.

But he's so wealthy, he got off. Yeah. That's amazing. Well, on that note, this is probably our best episode of all time. Yes. And if you want more of these great vibes, you're going to have to go behind the paywall, folks.

That's right. Because behind the paywall, we will reveal our true feelings about Taylor Swift and Maddie Healy. Wait, can I shout out a thing first? Yes. Yes. Guys.

I forgot what I was doing. Wednesday, Master Baker starts live on Twitch.tv. Wait, thanks for the fucking invite. I invited you. You didn't reply. Wait, no bullshit. Yes, I told you the dates and you didn't reply. Bullshit.

Wow, you're going to get red to filth right here. That's because Austin was like, I want to be a contestant. And then I said, okay, next season. And then you and actually, here's some tea. You and Carl Jacobs both said you wanted to be contestants. Sentl the dates nothing sent you the dates nothing read the dms i'm trying i have to find them yeah good luck they don't exist cutie they do poor little gay austin i actually don't know your sass has gone up so much poor little gay austin okay i definitely alone at the abbey well will you be a judge?

You want to be a judge? I'd love to be a judge. Next Sunday before the podcast? You want to come be a judge? Absolutely, I'll be there. I'll wear this. Okay. The rest of this is behind the paywall.

I gotta pee. Oh, no. Master Baker next week featuring me. On just one day is him. Just you. Just one day for the record. And also just you. No one else.

Ignore all the contestants. I'm gonna have to check my brunch schedule, but I think I can make it. Just one day for the record. And also just you. No one else. Ignore all the contestants. I'm going to have to check my brunch schedule, but I think I can make it. You're not going to brunch. Stay dangerous. Thanks for joining us. Bye. As always, we love you. See you behind the paywall at patreon.com slash fear and.