Fear& - HasanAbi Thinks He Has A Harder Job Than You | Fear&

Episode Date: February 26, 2024

✨ BONUS CONTENT ✨ PATREON - https://www.patreon.com/FearAnd🎧 AUDIO PLATFORMS 🎧- https://linktr.ee/fearand❤️ follow Fear&! ❤️Hasan: https://twitter.com/HasanthehunWill: https://twitter.com/TheWillNeffQT: https://twitter.com/QTCinderellaAustin: https://twitter.com/AustinontwitterMarche: https://twitter.com/MarcheFear&: https://twitter.com/FearAndPod00:00:00 - Intro / Group problems00:04:24 - No one wants to sleep with each other on the pod00:05:36 - literally not inviting marche to the emo stream00:08:08 - austin's tub show is out00:13:31  - qt cinderella saw a bug00:16:47 - tacobell x silicone lubricant 00:19:50 - bottom friendly foods00:22:35 - you can't judge a pug if you look like a pug00:24:46 - hasan's job is harder than a real job00:29:12 - qt cinderella wants to be a vtuber00:32:10 - one piece is hasans taylor swift00:34:04 - breakup with your therapist (because im bored)00:36:44 - mormon trad wives are in00:43:35 - delivery apps are really expensive - rich streamers00:45:40 - baby names I like but wont be using "slim easy smith"00:53:50 - scammers kinda smart for this one ngl00:55:50 - theyre selling being mormon pretty well 01:01:45 - modern day sonic#hasanabi #qtcinderella  #podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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For free assistance, call the Connex Ontario helpline at 1-866-531-2600. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. yeah we're rolling get on in here hassan you didn't give me a puppy i'm gonna be mad oh my god context hassan is like i'm not in. I want to see Cutie's genuine reaction. If it's not something cool, I'm going to be livid. We're literally losing viewership. Don't talk about my reaction. All right, Marsha. If it's not going to be good.

Don't start it yet. He's starting it. Why are you mad? I literally hate all of you today. This is why we need to all be on camera and ready when we start the podcast. I know I'm not angry. I'm just so angry. I'm a perfectionist.

Okay. I'm a perfectionist. I'm going to tell you something. Me and Marsh don't fuck with you today. Timing is everything. And everybody in the comment section, I do apologize for this slight delay. I'm not ordering any of you a waffle. Okay.

You're so stupid you want to see my reaction from your dress-up stream yesterday you need a mom in your life what do you mean you want to see my reaction haven't you people ever heard i don't i'm on't? I'm on Twitter. I've seen it. Oh my God. Okay, well that was that was a shit. Why don't you fake it? Why don't you go Oh my God! What the fuck?

Like do like a fucking O-face or something so we can put it on the fucking Thumbo. You smell delicious, Hasan. Thank you. You smell good, actually. You smell really good.

I just got out of the shower. I feel like I'm fucking sitting with a pack of hyenas here right now. Yeah, welcome. He's annoying. It's the dangerous I'm annoying. He's too horny. He's too. I feel like I'm fucking sitting with a pack of hyenas here right now. Yeah, welcome. He's annoying. It's the danger zone. I'm annoying.

He's too horny. He's too horny. Because I'm not horny. What? Where did this go? Austin, four seconds ago, you were like, Hasan needs to get out of the shower and dry his cock off. That's not a normal sentence.

That is a very normal sentence. That's what people do when they get out of the shower. To be fair, I did dry my cock off. It would be weird if I had a wet penis right now. Yeah, it would be very strange if you dried everything but your cock, okay? And that's, in fact, that's one of the most important things to dry off when you get out of the shower. People always forget to dry their cocks off. Yeah.

It's an epidemic. Yeah, and then they get in their pants and it looks like they pissed themselves. It's a plandemic. Do you ever dry your cock off, cutie? No. You dry your coochie off? Yeah, I was going to say. You have to dry your coochie off.

There you go. Wait, does water get in the lips? Sorry. Yeah. You have to shower your coochie. Okay. Does water get in the lips? Otherwise, you would stay in there and be watery.

But you can't use soap down there, right? Every day that passes, I'm shocked at how little you know about a vagina. No, but you can't use L'Oreal soap. No. No, but Doreal No The pussy has like Unscented doves Is recommended by the girlies What are they doing like the medieval times They just got yeast infections like crazy

And died Oh my god Gorilla grip coochie My lord What a great start to the Fear Ann podcast. Sorry, you look nice, Hasan. I didn't give you what you wanted. Thank you very much.

You didn't give the fans what they wanted. The fans don't give a shit. I'll be honest with you. I feel gross. Why? You shaved your face? That's not the only reason. I feel like I shouldn't look like this.

And not at the age of 32. I certainly just should. I've never looked like this in my entire life. So I feel, and I'm leaning into her, and I'm wearing like a band shirt. You're a bit of a poser. Yeah. I'm like, because. You're like Ludwig.

Ludwig's a poser. Can I talk about, I grew up on fucking emo. My first concert was Good Charlotte in Sum 41. Oh, so is this doing anything for you? No. No. Why not? Because I don't like you. What you what the fuck do you like emo i'm emo right now and i'm emo shit ledwig whenever like like not even a little bit no that's that's a big bummer you like me today no this is my thing i was thinking about that we're not a fucking cute podcast i keep getting tiktoks of these cute

podcasts where you're like oh what's their dynamic maybe maybe they want to sleep together none of you want to sleep with me i don't want to sleep with any of you there's no sexual tension on our podcast i know but like in a friendly way we tell you how hot you are all the time i love this yeah i love you look you look so slay today you look like you are that bitch. Yeah. Now look. No. Kitty. Now reciprocate. No. That's crazy. You look like that cunt. Your tattoo looks stupid as hell.

They are very stupid. Anyway. How do I look in this tank top? My chemical romance will come on. No. I see Ludwig's most recently watched. And he's watching Black Parade on a YouTube video. Most recently watched.

Because I know he listened to it in the car and was like singing at the top of lungs. Listen, I'm not trying to gatekeep emo. How dare you? No, you're not emo. I fucking hate you guys. I feel like Ludwig would be a hot emo. You think Ludwig would be hot everything. You just think Ludwig is hot in ways that are suspicious at this

point. I feel like it's out of control. You don't thirst after me and will as much as you it's because you guys are my it's like that would be incestual okay that's there's fair but like sometimes that could be hot you know what i mean like are you into that do you want to be i just want to be praised that's what i want i am having confidence issues wait you want to be like big step bro little step bro sort of thing yeah that kind of thing god damn okay all right let's let's talk about let's talk about this so uh i i i did a thing yeah i i uh i had uh jake weber and johnny gilbert these are like the two like emo

extraordinaires on tiktok um jake was raiding me on my twitch stream and i was like oh this guy looks really raiding you what do you mean yeah he used to like raid me oh like yeah he used to raid me on twitch i was like what the fuck's up with this guy and then i found out and then like my mod frogan who's also a wonderful content creator almost a hidden gem award winner wait did she win hidden gem one year rising star last year yeah rising star award winner last year um she is a massive fan of them and like is very emo and was like you should do a collab with them or they emify you and i was like fucking let's do it and the problem is i

didn't realize that like i've taken two showers i've taken two showers. I've taken two showers. For those of you listening at home that cannot see right now, I still have eyeliner on and I still have these tattoos on. I took two showers. I washed my face one extra time on top of the showers. I use makeup wipes and, and I took a tub, like I did a tubbing exposition. Oh, and yeah, we're going gonna get to that in a second and yet i still have these three neck tattoos on my neck and i still have the guy liner and i went and i played basketball with it this morning i i did i did go do my real daily life have you been called a yet no i live in west hollywood you gotta use coconut oil the only thing that i would really why she gotta bleep that out the only the only

thing that i have been asked about is if my tattoos were real by a dude who was like like i think he thought i went to prison or something like he was just giving vibes like like yo those are hard like where'd you get those thank quentin you're getting you're getting you're getting you're getting compliments for it is that what you good LA County like what's up? Yeah, what's up, dude? I think you look good I like it. I feel bad. I didn't give you a one. I I don't think I look good I think you look like 29 now. I think I look weird. I just I'm not used to looking this way So it's just like weirding me out. I don't think you look that different. I think you need like a nose I think you've got some eyeliner on and some fake tattoos i think i feel i think you need like a

nose piercing i had one it just fell off oh shit okay um okay so speaking of tubbing uh you tubbed i did you you came you saw and you tubbed that's right let's talk about twitch is brand new everybody's talking about it hit show austin show in the tub debuted in mizkif's tub this weekend in austin texas and let me tell you the reviews off the charts really oh yeah everybody loved it everybody loved it we got through one segment and that was the one that cutie suggested, which was the duck thing, and it was a huge hit, Cutie. Everybody loved it. It's the only thing we did the entire podcast or show.

I will say you guys looked slightly uncomfortable. That's the point of the show. No, like why didn't you go toe to hip? Because we had four people in the tub at one point. Notes, you have to fix the audio situation. You need to find a way where there's like a mic, like a cordless mic that is waterproof. I don't know how. I don't know if such a thing exists.

We had that as a solution. It was just like a thousand bucks. You're the cheapest motherfucker I know. Get your frugal ass out of here you can't like the audio component is huge there's not like any additional visuals happening you need a microphone it was too blown out the audio was too like echoey did it ruin the show no but as you know did you like it i i liked it i'm i'm. I'm shocked that you were able to pull it off. Wow.

But I think my problem with it still stands where I feel like you're going to have a hard time getting people to be like, yeah. I feel like he's jealous. Sure. I feel like he's jealous that I made Twitch's next hit show. I think you already had made all of Twitch's big shows, and now other people are making shittier versions of your show

that you were killing, and now you just stopped doing it because it's too hard to do. No, that's not. Excuse you. It's too hard to fucking go out and network, so you're fucking letting the Kaizen ads and the Jinxes of the world do like these 20 versus one dating shows. Look, I'm bringing the dating shows back.

All right, Hasan, your next lover host is coming up. This is what I mean. People are bored of seeing me, dog. Like, they hate me. No, they don't. They really do hate me, actually. You do need to bring the shows back so people can like see me in a different light. Holy fuck.

Wait. Oh, shit. My whole world is coming together, QD. This is needs it's like i'm like batman yeah when the world you're like the avatar bro when the world needed you the most you vanished i don't think you're batman i'm like batman i don't think so what'd you think of the tub show i think can i be honest yeah i think that water looked gross no No, it was a bath bomb. I know, and it looked murky. You need fucking bubbles to hide the murk.

Because I was thinking, ew. Gross? Yeah, I was like, what? That's true. Also, I like you, and you were sweating. Your face was, which means that there was sweat in there. And I'm not worried about your sweat i am worried about miss kiff's sweat i don't know where that's wait was it obvious that

i was sweating you're going to give him so many new insecurities like this it wasn't it wasn't you're unlocking new sorry look you looked hot as fuck okay which you know already that's why you're doing the fucking bathtub show because it's literally we locked it in already you are doing this show Specifically to show off your body I don't think so because honestly I don't even know if I really looked As good as I wanted to

Are you looking at pictures of yourself? You need to figure out the lighting too because it's like dark I don't know what it would look like What do we think of the lighting Marsh? You know what it would look like? It would look like a low budget gay Russian porno I've got a photo of the lighting marsh could you show the you know what it looked like it looked like a low budget gay russian porno okay like the the filter i've got a photo of the the screen here the gray scale filter of it all made it look like made it look like it was a like a low budget russian porn i mean i i i don't really think that um i thought i thought the lighting was perfect like check us

the lighting the lighting i think was probably one of the better parts of the show i think no you're saying that because it accentuated your features because there was enough shadow but that's the point no but you have to figure out a way to like warm it up while simultaneously doing how much warmer can you get look at this there's the you think that's that's warm yeah brother that literally looks like a hostage situation, but it's got the bisexual lighting on it. Wait, what's bisexual lighting? It's like the bisexual YouTuber commentary lighting, but with a hostage situation.

Wait, wait, wait. So I look like I'm being held hostage. Yes. You're like, get to work, you fucking muscle twing. There's a dude with a fucking Kalashnikov behind the camera, behind the scenes going like, come on, die. Go fly. Go fly. You are in top.

Keep going. Keep going. Pull out. Pull out, cutie Cinderella segment. Which was a great segment, cutie. I couldn't have done it without you. I think the whole show would have flopped. You fucking said on the text messages that this segment

was the worst part about it, but because it failed, it was good. No, no. I said in my text messages that all of the segments were an absolute disaster, and that's what made them brilliant. He did say that. But that's part of the show. You're mean. Are you going to put that banana in your mouth?

What's going on? Why are you holding on to it? Yeah, come on. We need views. Do it. Do it. Bite into it sideways. Not sexual style. Cutie, you look beautiful. You look so pretty. I ordered a bit waffle. You look so pretty that I forgot that you have a bleached point on your sock that kind of suspiciously looks like a toe.

I had something traumatic happen with a slug. What happened? Well. A slug? Yeah, it was rainy the other night. And I ordered a waffle because I've really wanted a waffle recently. I keep getting the wrong waffle. You guys wouldn't get it.

But, like, I want a very certain type of waffle. And the first waffle I got, it was, like, soggy on the inside. Then the second waffle was from a place that was going to be good. But they put lemon curd on it. And I was like, shit. Yo, I hate that. No, I like it. But it's not the type I want at the moment.

Yeah. But anyway, it's rainy. I get my waffle from outside. And I'm inside. And all of a sudden, on the side of my bag is a baby tiny slug. And I'm like, ew, yuck. Compromised. And then so I walk out to the door and i take the receipt and i it's kind of flick the slug outside and i think i'm done with it right two days later i'm letting my dog outside last night and the slug is growing

inside of you you are now pregnant with slugs wait maybe that's why you have cramps no oh my god it's it's slug pregnancy it's like alien style they're gonna burst out of your belly so i looked down on the ground no i looked down on the ground i let swift outside he's outside peeing and i'm holding the door open preventing cats from escaping i look down on the ground and there's a baby tiny slug scooting his way towards the door he was inside and i'm like I swear I kicked him outside. And then he's on the floor. And I'm really confused. And then I'm like, and then Nick, redhead Nick, my roommate Nick, Falco Nick, is sitting on the chair.

And I go, do you see the slug? And as soon as he looks, Swift comes running in, destroys the slug, like runs through the slug. But the slug was tiny. I don't know where the slug went when I say destroys the slug. Like, runs through the slug. But the slug was tiny. I don't know where the slug went when I say destroys the slug. He ran through it. I don't know if the slug disappeared. I don't know if the slug died. I don't know if the slug got caught in his fur. All of a sudden, the slug is gone. Nick

never confirmed that he saw the slug. So now I don't know if I have schizophrenia. The figment of your imagination, the slug is. Yeah. Ew, it's bruised. I, um... That's tragic. What'd you guys do this weekend? I had a delivery mishap myself.

We both had actually fun stuff, if we can get to that. As opposed to your slug story. Slug sob story. What if I imagine that slug? What if it's the first sign of schizophrenia crazy i saw a bug this weekend is what you just said like what the fuck is going on in your life there's gotta be more five minute story did you did you eat the waffle what happened

you literally have become like uh those like mormon chicks on tiktok who are just like i'm making food from scratch isn Isn't Mormonism grand? But like, but worse somehow. Yeah, I don't put enough effort into my formal attire. I had a delivery mishap this weekend. Well, I ordered another waffle. It's on the way now. I'll be honest with you.

That was a very Austin style story. If there was like somehow customer service involved, that would have been a perfect Austin story. Well, I actually have one. Wonderful. It was a delivery related story. So I was in Austin, Texas and I ordered lube to my hotel. Why would you?

Oh my God. Because via Uber Eats or some sort of random delivery service, I ordered lube because I didn't want to go into the store and get it because it's embarrassing. Well, so I ordered lubed. Well, hold on. Hold on. Let me get to the story.

I ordered lube to the hotel. I realized about halfway into the order. I ordered water-based lubricant when I was trying to order silicone-based lubricant. I think silicone is easier to like, it just doesn't come off as easy. I thought you were supposed to do water-based. I thought silicone. Yeah, no, water-based is better than silicone-based. Silicone-based is bad for you and can like get stuck in your orifices cause you to i'm pretty sure it can cause you to

have uh you know like bumps and stuff and beyond that if it gets inside of your penis hole it's not good either i'm pretty sure water base is better why are you looking like that i've been using silicone base lubricant forever and you're gonna get cancer and die wait is it because it caused cancer no probably not but it's not good anyway so i order whatever water-based lubricant it was strawberry flavored because it was the only one they had halfway through i'm like oh God, I ordered the wrong lubricant. So I order another one from another place. And I finally order my favorite Swiss Navy silicone. It starts to go.

I asked the delivery driver, hey, could you drop it off at my room? Okay. The guy didn't drop it off in my room. I get a photo. Marsh, pull up the first photo that I sent you. Of the lubricant in the front desk with my room number on it. Okay? That's so embarrassing.

At this moment, the other lubricant is coming to the hotel. And I find out that the hotel is a policy where they won't let people up to the room. That makes sense. Usually, they will have someone from the front desk bring it up yeah well the nobody wanted to bring that up evidently and then the second one came and thank god marsh to pull up the picture it came in a plastic bag but

there's my lubricant there's two both my lubricants right there so embarrassing horrifying now they know i had gay sex. I mean, maybe they think you're a ferocious masturbator. And then I also ordered Taco Bell. So I grabbed two, which is sort of an oxymoron when it comes to gay sex. But I ordered two bags of lube and a Taco Bell

and they all, I was out at the time and I came back to collect all three things. Oh. Oh. Wow. That's gross. Yeah. That's my story.

Taco Bell and butt sex do not go hand in hand. No, I know. I know. That's crazy. But I was the only one that ate it. God, you're such a selfish. It's crazy. You're like, you make your bottom not eat. No, you stay.

You stay ready. No, no. You stay ready, honey. They didn't want the Taco Bell. Yeah. No, you stay. You stay ready. No, no, no. You stay ready, honey. They didn't want the Taco Bell. Yeah, no shit. They're fucking, they're about to get fucked in the ass. Of course I don't want Taco Bell. Be more courteous.

Get like a pineapple or something. Get some fucking fruits. No, they wanted ice. That's it. You're a ridiculous person. You are a ridiculous person no i'm kidding they weren't hungry i promise you yeah that's they wanted a protein i know i've seen him he looks like he never eats no he's so shredded he's so shredded he's phenomenal looking but but yeah he's great looking but but he also like it's it's it was his choice it was his choice. It was his choice. You're pro-choice. Yeah, I'm pro-choice.

You're so brave. His body, his choice. Yeah, I doubt that he could have Taco Bell. No, he chooses not to. Yeah, no shit. He's bottoming. What the fuck do you mean? You can't have Taco Bell when you're bottoming?

Yeah, that's true. That's what he told me. That's why you need to get bottom-friendly foods. There was a whole article about this. No, I know. We eat a lot of... Uber, I think, wasn't it Postmates that wrote, like like for pride month or something they were like here are the bottom friendly things you can order yeah like sushi yeah is it yeah sushi i had some old i took this guy on a

date one time and and i consulted with some of my older gay friends and i said where should i take him and they're like sushi take him to sushi. He'll get the hint. And he did. He did get the hint. What is the hint? I don't know. If you go for like an extravagant meal, you can't have like, it's going to be tough. I feel like to have sex. Yeah. These are the struggles of gay men.

Yeah. You've never thought about this. You never thought about this. Like you need to do, you need to clean stuff out down there. I haven't thought about it. No, you haven't. You've never done butt sex. You got Gorilla Grip Coochie.

You don't have to do butt sex. But I told you about how my boss made me smell his party poppers once. So that just opens up your asshole. That's it. Yeah, but I know about assholes. What did it feel like? I've done a popper. I was high for a second.

I want to do a popper, but I'm afraid of it. It's like smelling salt. He did it to trick me. He was like, oh, it's my cleaner. And then he was like, smell it. It smells really good. And I smelled it. I said, whoa.

And he was like, ha, ha, ha, ha. Wait, so. He laughed like an evil gay man. Devious gay cackle. Yeah, he was gay. All of my coworkers used to be gay. I have never done poppers and i want to try them but i heard they could kill you so i don't want to do that no thank you what that i

read online that the fda had posted an alert and they said don't do poppers it could kill you whippets can kill you too but they're still badass they're still fucking awesome. I still do them. Best. You do drugs? No. Okay, so. Not at all. Let's move on from this. Let's move on from Austin's adventures in butt sex.

Why are you in charge? Yeah, why are you in charge? Because if I don't move the narrative around, we're just going to get stuck on silly things. Let's talk about butt sex. As we always do. You'll have to piss me off today. I'm going to fucking complain about it later and be like, I only do it on little things.

That's you. I just did you very convincingly. People listening, audio listeners, that was Cutie Cinderella. You are correct in your assumption. Yeah. Oh, also, Will's not here because he died in another tragic self-sucking accident.

He sucked himself to death. He sucked himself to death. You talk about old jokes. Yeah, self-suck, like that's not dead and buried. Well, here's what happens. Sometimes, like like if it's like a light one-off that's fine you know what i mean it's like a it's like a callback and people are like haha and then they move on also it wasn't even your story it was just that you're you complain about us repeating stories kitty tell us about more slugs okay what was what was it what made made you angry? You see another bug? I was driving here

I saw two girls judging a pug. They were staring at this pug like it was the ugliest thing in the world. And all I'm going to say you cannot judge a pug if you look like a pug. That bitch pissed me off. She looked like a pug? What if someone was really hot? She was actually really pretty, but once

you judge a pug, you are a pug. Asshole. Pissed piss me off i almost rolled down my window and i was like stop looking at the dog like that you jerk what if they were really concerned for the dog's safety or something because pugs can't really they weren't they were like pointing and making fun of him and the dog was just with his owner living his best life i hate la piss me off i okay we're moving on Dogs are so cute Can I say something real quick before I think puppies and kittens Are cuter than human babies

Yes, everyone thinks that in the world I thought that was a controversial take I don't think that was a controversial take because like I think everything is cuter than human babies No, babies are pretty fucking cute Oh, I think you got baby fever You pregnant? Hello? Is that what you wanted me to notice? Congratulations No, babies are pretty fucking cute. Oh, I think you got baby fever. You pregnant? Yeah.

Pregnant. Hello? Is that what you wanted me to notice? Yeah. You're starting a show. No. Why do you fashion me every fucking week? No, no, no.

You took it too far. It's not what I meant. Every goddamn week. All right, it's done. TikTok, cancel him. No. Speaking of TikTok. Yeah.

I got canceled on twitter again obviously as always oh fuck um this time it was for me saying that i run out of my social battery after nine and a half hours of streaming in a way that like a real job doesn't uh-huh oh god and and everyone immediately like a real job dumbass i did i did i worked in sales so it was like a very social job as well so i know exactly what like people pleasing looks like and it's like fucking annoying and awful right so i was making a comparison between like my experience as a salesperson versus my experience as a twitch streamer and i was like it's so soul sucking like it's so soul crushing and i can't

socialize after that and i feel so bad because I was talking about going to March's house. March had a housewarming party. None of you guys were invited because you're not cool. I was invited. I didn't remember until yesterday. You guys are bad friends. I was there. Right.

And I brought Kaya and she was being the best girl. But I also felt like I was looking like an asshole to every single person because i was like pouting the whole time i'm really fucking tired i take one drink with march i take one drink with with march and and like and immediately i just like skip steps i'm not even drunk or buzzed i just immediately become hung over and i was like i have to get the fuck out of here like i i'm so i'm so tired hung over immediately yeah i think because, like, I'm fucking tired after nine and a half hours of streaming, right? Marsh, were you like, this guy's a vibe killer. Get him out of my house.

Well, he brought his fucking, like, he brought his dog as big as a bear. I like Kaya. No, that was actually cool. Most normal people think that that's cool. Yeah, I like her. Everyone loved her. Yeah, that's a you. That's weird.

I like agreeing with you. No, I love Kaya. Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Try to win the like agreeing with you No, I love Kaya Try to win the crowd over again No, I love Kaya more than anybody In fact, I'm throwing a party just dogs only Kaya's birthday is coming up Really? We're going to celebrate? We going to Nobu?

No, I want to do like a doggy birthday party stream for her Let's go to Nobu We'll talk about that in a second My point was, I was just trying to say that in a second my point was i was just trying to say that like in in comparison to my other like real world jobs big boy jobs versus like this fucking fake ass job which i'm super privileged to have as i admit all the time recognize all the fucking time um they clipped it like 30 seconds of it to be like hasad streamer says dumb socialist streamer says like fucking real jobs are way easier than streaming.

And it's like, that's not what I was saying. Here's the fucking context. Nobody gives a shit. There's, like, hundreds of thousands of fucking likes led me to actually delete Twitter. What? I deleted Twitter from my phone. Yeah. It's really important for me to have twitter on my phone for my job obviously i

need to like constantly be fucking up to date on what the fuck's going on in the world but i feel like at this point it's just not worth it it's it's so like being in being on twitter and being extremely online yeah is is literally like being in a room where you're making the dumbest people on the fucking planet yell at you nonstop. But because everyone is so fucking stupid and so fucking brain dead and so right wing in general that like they're all hyping each other up. So it's like creating an environment where like, yeah, we're right. You're fucking stupid. It's not that we misunderstood your point. I fucking hate you and you're fucking piece of shit.

Kill yourself. And so you're not using twitter ever again no no i know he just he'll use it on his pc yeah i just i because i need to have for my work but um but yeah i'm not gonna because i i've just been i was like looking at it and i was like fucking me up well yeah you were up really late last night no i, I went to sleep at like 11. I just woke up at four and I was like going through Twitter and I was just like, fuck this, dude. Like, what the fuck am I doing? I deleted it. Good for you.

Yeah. That's that's this is a positive step in your mental health. Yeah, probably not. We'll see. You're going to redownload it, aren't you? No. I'll try to use like TikTok more to get more in the now. To understand what's going on. You've got to start doing TikToks like me. You've got to do some TikToks.

I do do TikToks. I do daily uploads. It doesn't matter. TikToks are like... Well, my haters are everywhere. They're on TikTok too. Yeah, I know. Every once in a while, one of my clips with you ends up beyond our little circle of community. It gets into like straight twitter

yeah it's it's wild sometimes i wish there was a world where you could just like like if i could just like quit and restart as like a vtuber and be somebody totally different because i feel like i've ruined so many first impressions and i've just made so many mistakes online that are just like micro it's so funny you say that because whatever i just wish i could start over you didn't but you feel that way and it feels very real to you but like from where i'm standing with the amount of like genuine fucking hatred and vitriol that i have i feel like yours is because you're a woman that's no i've done some stupid no. No, you haven't. Shut up. No. Go ahead.

No. 100%. Go ahead. I didn't mean literally shut up. Go ahead. I can't believe you. No, come on, come on, come on. One time I made a girl cry on the Austin show.

One time I cried. Wait, do people still bring that up? Oh, yeah. Who'd you make cry? I don't remember austin lives in la la land austin lives in la la land because like he is is obviously purposely very inoffensive for the most part and like yeah as a gay man a lot of people hate him for that but beyond really you get hatred for being gay yes i don't see it you didn't see it i don't see it at all yeah it's not as bad because you're

mostly like you you have very deliberately positioned yourself as a likable person by everyone's communities that you collaborate with so you've never been at odds with them wait this has chunkies in it yeah it's bad i hate chunkies but for the most part, it's coconut water with pineapple. No matter what happens, cuties. What is coconut milk or coconut water? It has chunky. It's the best used by 7th of September 2024. It's really close to that date.

No, it's not. What are you talking about? It's almost a whole year. Look, I work a lot, okay? I've been working a lot. You've been in the tub. It's a tough show. I'm not going to smell it. I'm sure I'll smell it.

That does not smell bad at all. That just smells like coconut water because it's pineapple. You got to shake it up. I did. Shake it up. You're fine. That's fine. The drink.

You're crazy. Taylor Swift did a mashup of Haunted and Exile last night. Anybody else just dead what the where does she do it she's in sydney sydney yeah there you go sydney um i did not see it so if you go to australia right now you could see her tonight okay i'm going to australia right now tonight are you watch do you watch her streams on t when she performs? Yeah, last night I was laying in bed watching. That's cool.

Awesome. I wish something made me feel centered and happy like that. I feel that way sometimes. It's healthy to have that. I'm not even kidding. You have one piece. Not enough. What do you mean? There's four billion four billion episodes no but i don't feel

i don't know what i feel i do i can guess from the way you talk about it like you you can dedicate your whole life to a person no you have done that i've no your dog's name's swift you named your dog Swift. Yeah. I went to your house. You literally have an entire wall dedicated to, very tasteful, mind you, artwork related to Taylor Swift. No, there's two pieces that are Taylor Swift related, and they're very tasteful. Very tasteful.

I have a watercolor painting of Cornelius Street that you wouldn't tell unless you knew. And then I have a print from like a tree in the area of Long Pond Studios, which is where she recorded Folklore Evermore. And it's a print. See, that's very tasteful because it can go either way. Yeah, it's a thing. Yeah. You can't tell it's his. You can't tell that you're like kind of a stalker until you explain it.

But from afar, it looks like, wow, beautiful paintings. Like, that's sick. Anyway, I'm just saying that like I feel like that level of dedication to something probably allows you to. You have anime figurines. So? What? You're gaslighting me. No, I used it wrong.

Sometimes you do that. You are downplaying your own joys And upplaying mine for For pity party, asshole I was being genuine Grow up I was being I, I, this is my These are my feelings and you're not validating them Thank you

These are my own personal feelings And I wish that you would validate them Instead of come at me with therapy speak we need help i quit therapy wait what you quit therapy yeah you feel you look better i i don't think she was pissing me off i don't want therapies see i'm too i travel too much for therapy that's not how that works i do i travel way too much you can it's just an hour you can do it online i know no no you don't understand he's got a tub show I do I do a lot of work It's going on

I'm going back to therapy I just had to break up with my therapist Cause she How do you break up with a therapist It's so funny cause when I said this to you I think people were like yelling at me Cause I was like yo this shit's not taking Well sometimes different therapists You're worse Different strokes float different boats type thing.

And it was so strange because like a few months ago, I'd show up to therapy and I didn't have like an agenda. Like I didn't have like, this is what happened last week. I just didn't feel like talking. And she was like, that's good. You shouldn't come with an agenda. And then I just sit there and stare at her. And we would just sit there and it'd be incredibly uncomfortable. And then eventually that became like me being like, are we doing and what'd she say and she'd be like she'd be like

well you're not you're not open enough to change and i was like wait this is the point of the change i know it was really frustrating so i just kept getting really frustrated with her and she'd be like well she'd give me a lot of homework which i've had therapists give me homework before like read this book or do this worksheet or whatever but But it was like, I would go on walks. So that was a new thing. I incorporated a mile walk into my daily routine. And then she's like, should be two miles. Like it was just constantly like moving the goalposts.

And it's like, oh, there was no, and it was like. She was, wait, wait, she said you need to walk more? Yeah. Like why? It helps with your, like exercising helps with mental right she was girl bossing the shit out of you she was just like cal she was just collecting checks not doing shit she's like oh we get to sit here no i don't know i don't have to listen to a single goddamn thing come out of her it got really weird i don't know what it was but it got how much is a therapist

per hour she was expensive don't even have fucking healthcare. I have insurance, but she doesn't take insurance. It's really hard. Some therapists don't. Some don't take insurance. Why? Because it requires extra paperwork and extra employees. And then they don't want to pay. It's money. Everybody wants money. Nobody cares. Because insurance also takes longer

to get paid. I wouldn't get a therapist that doesn't take. Yeah, I need to find a new one Unfortunately Sometimes that's what happens It sucks We'll be your therapist I'm so good At being your therapist

There are things that we can't talk about On this podcast Where I've done such a good job I've been there And I don't think so You were there And I'm not even going to get into it right now because we can talk about it currently. I was right. Anyway.

Oh, I did. Regardless. Regardless. We're moving. We're moving to the next subject. Her name is Nara Smith. Uh oh. Smith is German and South African,

and she is a model currently living in Los Angeles with her husband and two young children. She has 1.5 million followers on TikTok. Please pull her TikTok up, March. We are going to be talking about... Uh-huh. This is a Cut.com article. Meet Nara Smith, model, influencer,

wife of Lucky Blue Smith from The Cut. His name is blue smith uh lucky blue smith oh lucky blue smith is a model who uh is is you know started dating and impregnated uh nara smith who is also a model and they're beautiful and they have this beautiful life and then you scratch the surface a little bit and you're like, why the fuck she constantly cooking like things from scratch for TikTok? And then you scratch the surface a little bit more and you're like, oh my God, this is Mormon propaganda.

And then you scratch the surface even a little bit more and you're like, oh my God, so much of TikTok is actually unironically Mormon propaganda. And then you scratch the surface even a little bit and you're like, oh my God, so much of TikTok is just Mormons who are watching mormon videos wait how did you figure out she's mormon um lucky blue smith is mormon uh and she also reads like the book of mormon and like some of the videos are you saying that the mormon church is funding her tiktok no no i i saw this theory people were like people are like the morm Mormon church is paying people to make propaganda. They don't.

They do not pay you. Well, if they did, they need a gay representative. No, no, no. That's why I, no, that's not going to happen. I think two happy gay men living a Mormon life. So wait, wait, hold on.

Can I explain this really quickly? They need to expand their business. That's why I talked about scratching the surface a little bit. It's not paid paid i don't think this is like paid mormon i mean she definitely makes money she does make money as a lifestyle influencer but that's the reason why i mentioned it i think that this is why i wanted to ask you this i wanted you to like look through her cooking videos and find inconsistencies a little bit as you are the real goaded Mormon. I saw the way you operated through that Super Bowl party. You were Mormon trad wife, like straight up in the kitchen the entire time.

Rarely ever came out only to like serve people caramelized popcorn that you had made. And pray. And it was crazy. Pray for Taylor Swift. She did bring out funeral potatoes at one point too. I thought about starting to host family dinner on Sundays. Oh, that's so cute. That'd be sick.

I would love to come. No, I was just thinking. Wait, am I invited? I wasn't thinking of streaming it. That's a great idea for a stream, though. Well, yeah, but I just. Not everything has to be content, Mr. Tubboy. Yeah.

My family used to do family dinners every Sunday, and now I don't have family here. You should do Mormon dinner. We're family. We're literally here. Well, that's why I'm saying I'm going to start. I think I'm going to do it at least once a month, and then everyone can come over. Can I come to your family dinner? Yeah, because none of you bitches cook.

What the fuck? The point I wanted to make. I've cooked, and you've seen me cook. The point I wanted to make was that there is a massive audience of Mormons. Mormon women have a lot of disposable income. They're making the household consumer. It depends on the house that has disposable income. Well, regardless, they're making the purchasing decisions.

Not all Mormons are rich. But they're making the purchase decisions. 85% of all consumer choices are made by women in the United States of America. That's a fact but beyond that mormon women specifically are are like massive consumers of this sort of stuff like the stanley cup craze and things like that which is why i'm saying this isn't uh like church sponsored lds propaganda no but instead someone who tapped into this niche and is really popping off with it because people love seeing like a beautiful model trad wife that's like picturesque. Yeah, she does a good job of being really aesthetically pleasing. Like this is essentially my Twitch streams, but I look like this.

No, that's not. No, it's true. It's the way it's like she focuses so much on lighting and wearing an evening gown. You look great. Your kitchen doesn't look that good. Can we look through some of these TikToks? My kitchen is beautiful. And then we can compare like cutie Cinderella.

I thought we could do like a side-by-side. I can bake better than her. That's not a competition. But her aesthetics are way better than mine. Can you make the sound higher, please? Wait, Hasan, should I start doing cooking videos? I think it's like, here, wait, pause for a second. I think rule number one, she got fucking rings on when she's cooking with her hands and she's like touching meat and stuff not in this one but specifically like she touches raw meat with

her fucking ring fingers and shit and i feel like that's weird as hell it's like what are you doing i wear rings too not what i'm cooking well you're being a backseat cooker right there don't you think that that's a problem nah because who's eating it yeah she is i know people get mad at me because my cat's on the counter when i bake and i'm like i promise you i've eaten more cat hair than the capping on the counter is gonna pause i think it's just aesthetics i think that's the big selling point here yeah i mean she's always yeah this is like literally barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen making food from scratch like sometimes she'll literally be like i made cereal from scratch and i'm like bitch you didn't have to do that yeah you didn't have to do all that at all you did it for the tiktok which is fine i mean it's aesthetic it's fine let people enjoy things okay but like i do get annoyed when people are like

i don't know i just i'm a hater i'll be honest i think i may follow her this is really nice yeah no she i just i want a cutie's take on this okay this is the one where she makes cereal makes me want to breathe i think wow i think i want a nuclear family i think overall i this is my take here i don't believe she's actually cooking for her family every night i think she's doing this as her job yeah like this is not like this is my take here i don't believe she's actually cooking for her family every night i think she's doing this as her job yeah like this is not like this is all very superficial this is all very what you see on instagram you think they throw the food away after yes no i think they eat it but like yeah this is an eight hour process to make fucking cereal yeah clearly i mean this

is an unsustainable mason jar milk that's so that looks delicious yeah it's all aesthetics it's all like that's what's annoying about stuff like that is people see it and they're like oh I want to live a life like that that's not real life like it's not no I know real life is uber eats and dardash no that's not real life either

real life is going to the grocery store and buying fucking cookie crisp real life is ordering the food on the way home from Uber Eats. No, that's your life because we're out of touch streamers and we're rich. And that's why our lifestyle choices are different. Speaking of which, have you noticed that like delivery apps have just gotten so insanely expensive? They used to be like pitched as like this inexpensive option. I feel like they've always been expensive.

But they've gone up even more. I don't mind how expensive it is as long as the fucking drivers are getting paid. I'm more annoyed that they don't get the actual pay. Yeah, I don't like that. Yeah, neither do I. I wish they would get paid more. It's very expensive. Everything is

getting so expensive. Yeah, of course. I bought two... I'm starting to think about what i buy i went into 7-eleven that's good yeah i went into 7-eleven too i went this well i used to kind of my i'm trying to reel in my spending a little bit so i went into 7-eleven you fly like you're trying to out compete taylor swift with your carbon footprint what you want me to walk to texas i mean what the fuck no dog i want you to fucking stay in cal I mean, what the fuck? No, dog. I want you to fucking stay in California, at least,

instead of fucking going from Portland to Miami to Texas, back to Miami, back to Portland, back to fucking Austin, Texas, and then California. I'm taking public transportation. Okay? I take public transportation. All right? I share a plane with my peers on a weekly basis

that's beautiful it's natural and beautiful it is it is i my carbon footprint is a fraction of taylor swift's yeah um anyway but as i was saying it's getting ridiculous to live okay i went to 7-eleven i bought two little packets of Advil for Advil. Guess how much that cost me? $4.89. For four pills. You can't buy the packets. The packets are marked up. You need to get the big thing. Yeah, but I couldn't. There wasn't any available, so I had to buy that.

Where? I had a headache. 7-Eleven. Well, it's the gas station. Yeah. You don't buy them at the gas station. What was I supposed to do? Go to Heb or something? Yeah. It wasn't convenient. And I had station. What was I supposed to do? Go to Hebb or something? Yeah. I didn't. It wasn't convenient. And I had a car and I would have polluted the environment. Well, that's why convenience stores mark it up because they know you will do it.

I rented a car. Can we go back to the Nara Smith video? Go ahead. Because there is one from the Cut article where it just says like what my husband eats in a day. And I want Cutie to go through this as like the expert cooker, mormon you're everything she's not queen you are the real one she's the fake one i just want to point this out this is her job and she's really good at it but there's no way they don't have a nanny or they don't like they there's help happening somewhere in order for this content to exist but the og viral one was also the baby names I like but won't be using. Go to the

cut.com article on Nara Smith. Are they Mormon names? I love Mormon names. The names are crazy. Some of my nieces and nephews have the not the craziest names. I can't say them, but they're just spelled so funny.

I make fun of my sister all the time. That's what my husband is in today. But first, let's start with the names. All right? Here, go down one more. That's it. Okay, play the shit. Oh, my Lord.

For reference, our kids have pretty unique names. My daughter's name is Rumble Honey Smith, and my son's name is Slim Easy Smith. Stop. Pause it. Slim Easy Smith? It's a very big thing in Mormonism. Are you out of your fucking mind? Slim Easy?

What do you mean Slim Easy? That sounds like a cigarette. He is a cigarette. That's a cigarette. You made a gas station cigarette. Slim Easy. Yo, let me get a pack of them Slim Easy Smiths. Mormons eat a lot.

He better be the best rapper ever. Yeah, Slim Easy Smith. Mormons eat a lot. He better be the best rapper ever. Yeah, Slim Easy. If he grows up with the name Slim Easy and he's not a rapper and or... What are we doing? A stock market guy. What are we doing with Slim Easy Smith? What if he grows up to be gay? I'm going to be pissed.

No, Joseph Smith is going to be pissed. Slim Easy. Joseph Smith is not fucking with. Slim easy. Joseph Smith is not fucking with gay people. No, I know, I know. Keep playing. There's other names that she didn't use because it's awesome. Go fuck.

Out there, but let's get started. For a girl's name, I really love the name Odie, Pepper, Dawn. They're all really cute. I love the name Pepper. I really love the name Odie, Pepper, Dawn. They're all really cute. I love the name Pepper. I really like Cherry as a middle name. My husband doesn't really like that name.

Yeah, because he's like, that's a stripper name. I also like Bubble as a second name. Bubble? Bubble? And I love the name Pear as a first name. And then for boys, I love the name Frosty still, if you guys remember. Oh, that's a lot. What else was there?

Sunny, Silver, Zen. I love the name Frosty still If you guys remember What else was there? Sunny Silver, Zen Those are a few but we won't be Using them for this baby It's kind of wild that she's like We'll be using them for this baby as if many are coming It's just crazy because she got the Cruella De Vil fit on too

She's just sitting in her beautifully lit Apartment that's always Fucking so sterile And uh and and she's just like sitting there with her goddamn this kind of looks like that actually i know did you get this shit from her did you get that necklace from name your price no why does everyone think i can hand me down it looks good though it does look good well you're you're actually slaying it's hard to pull off gold. She's slaying it, too.

She's kind of killing it. I'll be honest. Okay, now scroll back up to what my husband eats. Oh. So we did this thing in Young Women's, where Young Women's is once you turn 12, you start going to Young Women's like every Tuesday or Wednesday. Where they teach you how to be a good wife? Yeah, kind of um very important and one of the things we did one of our young women's nights we were we wrote letters to our future spouse um and so how old

were you i think i was like 14 that's insane yo that's like that's actually grooming dog that's like fucking literally grooming not the shit that they're like oh gay people exist teaching children that is grooming sorry go ahead so we sit there and we write so each person had like this this bucket kind of like this rice like what you normally still like food storage rice bucket um and we each had one we decorated it and then we all had to write our letter to our future spouse and we had to write down um the names we would name our children and uh like 10 characteristics we want in our future spouse so then when you get proposed to someday you open it and you like you know whatever wow the 14 year old you can

read what you want to your adulthood yeah yeah uh whatever so like when you're 16 i do remember when i was like i'm gonna have so many kids i want to do a very typical mormon thing which the kardashians really popularized which is all the same letters um and i remember i uh do you have this letter wait no i don't but i remember the names i always wanted i love the name pepper for a. I love the name Pepper for a girl. I love the name Penn for a boy. I love the name Poppy for a girl. Yeah, Penn. I know.

And it was actually before Penn Bagley. It was like really popular. But I love the name Penn. I love the name Penelope. I wanted all P names. You're going to have more. Are you going to have children? I don't know.

Well, if you do have children, are you going to name them Mormon names? No. If we got married, their last name would be piker so then it's an alliteration ludwig watch out yeah ludwig watch out we're coming for your girl that's right both of us yeah your last name is show so yeah cutie show and then we're cutie cinderella show well um what was i saying so pepper pen pepper pen names that you had names something about penis piper piper peter piper um yeah no pepper pen and yo this is my third son, Penis. We gave up.

Oh, no. There was this big Mormon family that I... That they were like the... You know, there's normal, like, cliques and I... Stop making fun of my son, Penis, okay? Yo, he's fine. He's kind of fucked up, but it's okay. I wanted a unique name for my son. We ran out of P names.

Oh, shit. Mormonism was also like high school like there's like the rich mormons and the cool mormons and like whatever and like you know uh and there was this one mormon family where they had like and the more kids you have the more like dope you are because you're like god loves you you know yeah but you see this family eight kids and you're like damn sick jesus loves them i'm. So you'd see this family of eight kids, and you'd be like, damn. Sick. Jesus loves them. I'm not kidding. And there's this family that, and again, Mormons like to be unique. And so they had all their kids were named after, like, elements.

And so they were all attached somehow. Wait, they were, like, Mormons but nerds? Like, Skye was one of the daughter's names, and Cole was one of the son's names. Cole? Hell yeah, brother. Oh, I thought when you said element. Star was one of them. I thought, brother. Oh, I thought when you said element, I thought when you said elements, I thought you meant like chemicals.

Yeah, me too. Like I thought you meant chemistry. I don't think these are elements. This is my daughter. Her name is Cobalt. No, no, no. I literally thought you meant. That's going to really go to style.

This is my daughter. Her name is Cobalt. No. It was like starrous oxide oh coal like c-o-l-e coal and um like uh landon his land right but did they spell it c-o-l-e or c-o-a-l yo that family gave up after like the seventh child they were like landon i genuinely believe their their 11th kid they totally gave up and they were were like, Bill. Bill? Like, all of them were like, all of these, like, I think one of them's name was Tree.

And, like, all these things. And then there was, like, just their last one. His name was, like, Joe or something. They had 11 children? Yeah. What do these Mormons do for a living to afford that many children? They fuck dog. That's what they do.

No, but, like, how do Mormons are just so rich and they all have white houses. The thing is, when you serve a mission, you just actually got the best sales training that anyone could ever ask for. Because you're selling a product that nobody wants. You're going door to door and you're selling Jesus. Now, give a phone. You just got home from your mission. Hey, sell security systems. You know what's really funny? Sell houses.

Sell something people actually want and it's other mormons and so they're open to hearing your your voice i think they they're also like hard workers they have disposable income they have a sense of community so like there's always help right i would suspect um but beyond that fun fact about mormons or at least even ex-mormons is like if you leave the mormon church or if you are like a former Jehovah's witness or whatever, like something that is more insulated, you often do to the like incredible amounts of indoctrination necessary to keep this thing going are the most susceptible targets for multi-level marketing schemes more than like any other like sect in the religion itself. The more religious you are, the more susceptible you are to a multi-level marketing

schemes which you're surprisingly not no but i do get scammed a lot yeah i'm very gullible well a lot of people scam more than you maybe he's fucking former cutie they just people are just like this is how much it costs and you're like okay and then you pay it yeah that's a little different though i'm talking like straight up locking in on uh my identity got stolen yeah oh my god you're right your identity got like two months ago wait how because this guy called me and he was like hey this is me your bank and i was like hey bank and he was like you have some charges from florida are those correct and i was like no i'm not in florida and he was like but they're on your account and so i log into my account and sure as shit they're on my account and i'm like that's

crazy it's like no big deal we're just gonna send you a link so then you can you can claim it's not yours and i'm like great sends me a link i push the button they got access to everything holy shit that's crazy yeah wait so here's how they did it they stole your credit card information charged the stuff from florida you check you're like holy shit those guys are good i'll tell you what that's a pretty good scam yeah yeah it was impressive yeah so did you lose any money uh we were able to freeze it all but i'm still dealing with repercussions of i had to change i had to freeze my credit is frozen i had to close all my bank accounts. Did you have to change your name from Cutie Cinderella? Yeah, my name is now...

I can't think of something better. Snow White. Yeah, Snow White. Bill. Yeah, I just switched it to Bill. You're like the 11th child of that family. I just ran out. Mormonism seems pretty lucrative.

I may move to Utah and be a fake Mormon. You're gay. I know, it'd be so hot. Lots of parts of it that are pretty dope like i'm not kidding like mormonism like obviously the reason the religion works so well is because polyamory no that's flds oh that's true they went to mexico they went what is that like fuck lds no fundamentalist latter-day saints daughter the the mormon church history is actually kind of crazy because originally like they were very collectivist um they had a lot of like uh like communal roots and they still maintain some of that but they also went to war with the american government

rather the american government went to war wait so they were like woke due to uh the the poly shit oh that's right they wanted specifically they wanted the right so then and so then the the fundamentalist sect moved to Mexico because they were like, oh, we can have multiple wives here, but we can't have multiple wives in fucking Utah, even though they still do it. Where are they in Mexico?

They're kind of in a lot of hiding now because their main guy got locked up. But the There's a good documentary on Netflix about the FLDS. I think I actually started watching that. Stay Sweet and Pray. The family I'm talking about, however, is the Romneys.

Mitt Romney's dad, George Romney, and George Romney's parents moved to Mexico specifically so they could continue having multiple wives. That's crazy. Even though George Romney, fun fact, ran for president, but he was born in Mexico. Does Mitt Romney have one wife? Yeah, he has one. Mitt Romney is more modernized than... He's a hip Mormon. Well, I mean, he was actually a pretty woke governor of Massachusetts.

He's the one who first famously implemented Obamacare in the state when he was the governor of Massachusetts. And then ran against it. It was called Romneycare. Yeah, he did run against it. So, you know mormons are interesting characters i do i i think they're sick like i i love their lore yeah they've got good lore but i think like the interesting thing that makes it such a like hard religion to leave is number one you pray every day that's just meditation that's good for everybody right and

how your prayers are they're very structured so you're supposed to thank God first. So every single day I wake up and I say, thank you, God, for the good night's sleep. Thank you, God, for the beautiful sun. Thank you. Thank thee for this. Thank thee for that. You know, and so you start your day with thanking and then you ask, so please bless that this, this, this, this, this, in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen. So every day you are thanking and manifesting every single day, which psychologically, that's just good for you. Right. So regardless of the religion, they've worked in things that are psychologically just good for you. We've got the time.

All of a sudden you stop going to church and you feel like shit. I'm not praying anymore. And you start feeling like shit. It's because you're not meditating anymore. You're not using positive affirmations anymore after years and years and years of doing it indoctrinately. Wow. That it's like, of course you feel like shit when you leave the church you also leave your support group and they're pretty fucking vicious when you leave as well they like disown you and stuff well

it depends you you uh there's also there's this weird it depends on i've heard that there's different like ohio mormons are chiller than ut Utah Mormons, which are more stringent than Washington Mormons, which are Idaho Mormons. You know, so it's like depends on where you're raised. But there's this weird level of like judgment underlying at all points where you can never really feel good enough, no matter what. It's keeping up with the Joneses, but in a smaller bowl. Are Mormons like competitive amongst each other? A little bit. Like if, if like in sort of material goods and things like that.

A lot of shit talking, like they'll be like, yeah, so-and-so was on a cruise and they had a sip of wine because there's no drinking, right? Like, like that's a real thing. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. It's like a real thing. Absolutely.

Do they like judge each other? So-and-so went to the lake and they wore a two piece. That's a real thing. Absolutely. Do they like judge each other? So-and-so went to the lake and they wore a two-piece. That's a real thing. Yeah, absolutely. That's insane. That's pretty slutty. Does everybody and everybody wears like, like, what if somebody's like, oh, my God. So-and-so's not wearing their garments.

Yes. That's what I'm saying. There's also like a hierarchy, too. Like, there's a level of like, like, Mitt Romney was a top level Mormon who, like, had to wear the secret undergarments and, like, had access to the temple, right? Everyone has access to the temple. No, but, like, there's varying degrees, I thought. As soon as you get your endowments out of the temple, you get your underwear and your, like, temple recommend, which you can go into, like, the prayer room and the different stuff like that. But, like, from age 12, you can get your temple recommendation and you can do baptisms for the

dead and stuff like that but as soon as you get your endowments done that's when you can get your garments so but then pretty much everyone has access do you wear the garments all the time though because like oh okay yeah romney always was wearing that shit i think they're not they need to be they're just not sexy yeah they don't try to be. They're not sexy at all. Calvin Klein needs to come in and collaborate with the Mormon church. There's actually been a lot of improvements. They used to be a very certain fabric, and now there's spandex ones and silky ones. Yeah, they're always patching that shit. Yeah, they patch some stuff.

We need to have jockstrap garments. I don't think they're going to do that. Like assless garments. Yeah, I don't think they're gonna do that like assless garments yeah i don't think they will you don't think so no you think that would roll over uh-uh we could like pitch it as like a cowboy thing you're back in see they do love cowboys that's what i'm saying maybe if i bet trump could do it i don't think he's more i don't think trump could yeah but they'll believe anything he says or did no i don't they'll justify anything. I don't think Trump can... Yeah, but they'll believe anything he says or does. No, I don't think...

They'll justify anything. No, I think Mormons are, like, kind of not as ride-or-die for Trump as, like, the evangelicals are. Evangelicals are like, we don't give a fuck what Trump is. We love him. He's doing all the right things.

Mormons are a little bit more iffy. I think, like, more fundamentalist. Like, the fundies like him. Um. Can you see the ground okay because like my phone fell and then my credit card there's entire credit card that was insane um dude sorry joseph smith i apologize for sinning um you're you're showing me the blessed light do you thank joseph smith in your prayers uh no usually when you bear your testimony. So there's Fast Sunday once a month.

And instead of a normal meeting where two people give speeches, people bear their testimony. So anyone over the age of eight, because after you've been baptized, you have a better way of telling your testimony. You can be younger, but anyway, you're just babbling. You go and bear your testimony and say, I'd like to bear my testimony. I know this church is true. I love my Savior, Jesus Christ. I know my one true prophet, Joseph Smith.

You say all... When people talk about Joseph Smith the most, it's usually when they're bearing their testimony. Being a Mormon sounds like it's a lot of fucking hard work. You know what's also hard work, though? Moving on to the paid proportion of this podcast. That's right.

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