Fear& - I've Had It w/ Fear&.

Episode Date: January 22, 2024

The I've Had It collab is real, please do a wellness check on any friends or family that may be fear& doubters today.  ⚠️ A DISCLAIMER ON WHY NO BONUS EP THIS WEEK: We only had about 2 and a half hours to shoot with these two before they had to catch a flight back home. So out of respect for our guests and their content we made the executive decision to not do a patreon episode this week so that we could also shoot an episode of their podcast with them immediately after ours! Hopefully you guys understand! The Fear& episode of Ive Had It should be out in the next couple days so go check that out when it drops, its about another hour of banger content. Okay this was a long disclaimer love ya thanks for watching BYYEEEE!!!✨ BONUS CONTENT ✨ PATREON - https://www.patreon.com/FearAnd🎧 AUDIO PLATFORMS - https://linktr.ee/fearand⭐️follow our guests!!!!!⭐️Ive Had It Podcast: https://twitter.com/ivehaditpodcast❤️ follow Fear&! ❤️Hasan: https://twitter.com/HasanthehunWill: https://twitter.com/TheWillNeffQT: https://twitter.com/QTCinderellaAustin: https://twitter.com/AustinontwitterMarche: https://twitter.com/MarcheFear&: https://twitter.com/FearAndPod00:00:00 - Nicorette gum cold open00:01:30 - Marche slander (justified?!)00:03:50 - Hasan loves Okhlahoma*00:08:11 - Austin's food problems00:10:10 - ChickFila hires homeschoolers00:11:39 - why did we give austin the handheld mic00:13:40 - covering for austin show00:15:30 - hetero life mates pray away the gay00:19:40 - no rizz?00:21:30 - simplicity is bliss00:25:00 - teenie weenie = big brain00:28:19 - grinder is kinda crazy00:32:12 - what is twitch?00:34:45 - rush limbaugh rehab00:36:40 - furries on high alert (clickbait)00:41:30 - OKC 50th in education00:44:18 - karen-ism within us00:48:04 - tip-flation00:52:30 - forced philanthropy (what are the vibes of these babies)00:56:00 - no paywall sry#hasanabi #ivehadit #podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

By 2050, new cancer cases are projected to rise by 77%. It's why the Princess Margaret is reigniting our commitment to transform cancer outcomes in a quest we call Carry the Fire. But we can't achieve this alone. We need your help. Together, let's carry the fire for a world free from the fear of cancer and give every cancer patient brighter tomorrows. Donate to the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation at carrythefire.ca. a world free from the fear of cancer and give every cancer patient brighter tomorrows.

Donate to the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation at carrythefire.ca. this is four milligram yes um this is nicorette white uh ice mint one this is good to start on you're the first guest other than bradley who's what's the name of the power lifter bradley bradley mart? Isn't that the only guess other than Bradley Martin to take Nekorette gum from you? Yeah. That's so funny. It's usually... So the only people that I know that I interview that routinely are also Nekorette users

are journalists. Got it. It's like usually our guests are, you know, Twitch streamers and youtubers and stuff they don't they don't mess with this kind of thing did you smoke vape yeah i haven't smoked in years oh good for you same congratulations i was on the four milligram i downgraded to the two but whenever i see a four it's like an extra it's good it's like a pablo escobar cocaine pop I couldn't pass that up.

I go crazy on these. I don't even care. Like, I know it's bad, probably. I'll probably get, like, mouth cancer or something. I've never actually chewed one. Do you buzz out when you chew nicotine? No. You just don't go into the DTs for nicotine.

He just feels normal. Delirium tremens. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Well, first of all, we're doing it again. We always start impromptu. This is normal.

That was your call, by the way. You have said that that's the way you like to slam into a podcast. I like slamming it. Now do the intro. We have the I've had it ladies here. Yes! Yes! A long time coming. First and foremost, I want to apologize for our producer slave, Marsh.

Go on. Who we obviously didn't give enough lashings to. Yeah. Because he, you know, dropped the ball a little bit. He really did. In his back and forth communication that was supposed to be happening with you ladies. This isn't picking up on the mic, but the laugh that just came out of Marsh was so defeated. It was like, ah.

We're outbeating him forever. Ladies, we want to let you know that we were cutting his pay by 50%. That's good. I feel good about that. I liked it. It was Hasan's decision. And we're totally not all blaming him for our negligence as well. You know, this is somewhat humiliating for us because we did

ban you and we made a boundary that we wouldn't speak to you until you came to Oklahoma City. Yes. Which is what we call the white girl breakup. Right. Like you broke up with us. We're breaking up with you first. Right. But then we were coming here on tour and we had Kylie reach out to Marsh who jumped.

The last thing that happened. See, we, we, we, we we the beating of marsh works yeah no that's like that's you know they're that's how you get happy employees i think yeah you beat them and humiliate them that's um no but to be frank we are all degenerate gamers and streamers and we were actually really excited to have you guys on and to do the podcast. So we felt really bad when it didn't happen. And I think we all took a good hard look at our organization skills. It marches failures.

Yeah, and we all collectively blame. This is great. This is refreshing because normally I'm the one that gets all the blame. Yes. This is the one instance where you did not objectively fuck up. No, I know. It's just wonderful. I just got back

from vacation, so I'm feeling great about this new year. It's the first podcast I think I've been on for a year. Your entire life is a sequence of vacations. Don't let me talk about that. This is literally the only thing you did that is different is that you didn't show up for two weeks. Remember how I said he didn't like gay people?

Yeah. The reason he didn't, he also doesn't like women. That's usually, that's his number one, that's his number two. These are his platforms. Yeah, this is what I believe in. This is what he stands on. This is what I stand for. Right. Anti-women, anti-gay.

Yes, right. You'd fit right into Oklahoma. Right. Well, Oklahoma's actually a fascinating place that I've been to many times. Really? Yes. Marat. My brother used to live in oklahoma city

he worked at boeing in the low-cost facility uh that is what they call it because oklahoma is cheap there's like tax breaks and subsidies and whatnot that's where they made the air alaska um he's on the the aerospace side so he was not uh related to any of the commercial stuff that boeing was doing but um yeah i i visited him quite a bit and i'm actually fascinated by oklahoma city because it was the first time that i realized because i grew up in turkey that i realized that like damn actually i think people that live in Los Angeles or New York City probably have more in common with someone living in a different city around the world, whether it be Istanbul or whether it be, you know, France or in Paris, than someone living in like Tulsa. You're not wrong.

You're not wrong. Because there were so many cities that we went to. Cities. There were towns that we went to. There was like three people. Yeah. No traffic. Just crazy stuff. So many Walmarts.

It's awesome. I love Walmart. I love Walmart. She gives me so much shit about Walmart. Walmart. We went on a field trip to Walmart and, you know, they have regional kiosks set up. And there was this. What's a regional kiosk

so a kiosk uh curated for that region and at the Walmart in Oklahoma City the kiosk was like uber Jesus kiosk right everything and I am not at all religious at all so I go to this kiosk and there is a book and it says scientific facts in the Bible. It is a quarter of an inch thick. It was unbelievable. And I'm just looking at it in complete fascination that I live around all of the people that are at this book kiosk going, nailed it. Now that's science right there. Did they intertwine some MAGA merch in there? Oh, fuck yes.

They must have on the Jesus thing. 100%. When we were walking out and I was like, Jennifer, there's a woman in a MAGA hat. She's like, fucking Walmart. Of course they're in a MAGA hat. I hate it. Yeah, we got lots of MAGA lovers. I love that.

MAGA country. For the record. Unironically, that's why I hate it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we got lots of MAGA levers. Oh, I love that. MAGA country. For the record. Sure. Like, no, unironically, like, that's why I love Oklahoma. Because it's so untapped and pure. I'm fascinated by conservatives in general. I think it's awesome. Very entertaining. Yeah. Right. Can I quickly

just say that I've never been a Walmart person, but I am a Sam's Club guy, which I know is the same thing. Well, Sam's Club is the Costco of Walmart. Yes. Is it a little higher class? No. I would say yes.

I would say yes. It's the exact same people. It's the same guy. You just buy him bulk instead. I don't think they allow gay people. Not gay people. Not in the Oklahoma Walmart. Do they allow women?

I think they do. Oh, they definitely, of course. Only with their husband. Yes, okay. You have to be with with your husband they have to sign you up on an account right yes exactly they co-sign oh yeah we're in this i think there's something primal from when i was a kid that i have like an instant reactionist my mom would go in and buy like 300 pounds of trail mags yeah right no i i love walmart and like sam's club and all of that stuff because like the abundance of it all is fascinating to me as well like i think it's dope you go to a store and they have everything and there's so many different brands of like oreos and cookies and stuff like

growing up in turkey whenever i would come to america every sunday my grandfather and myself we would go to like the walgreens i guess or equivalent it was like a it's a smaller you know it's like a rite aid basically right and i'm just imagining little asan excited to go to the walgreens yeah no it was fire but i'm telling you that's why when you get that's even even if's like, even if someone's like German or French, like I had some French friends like stay with me a while back. And like, they had this checklist of places that they wanted to go to. And it was like Trader Joe's, CVS. Like, this is a fascinating trip if you're visiting America.

Because like, let's be real. What cultural landmarks are there? What's going on, Austin? What happened? I'm so sorry, ladies. I just ordered food to my hotel and I'm not at my hotel. I hope I have a generous driver. I'm so sorry to derail the conversation.

I ordered food to my hotel and. Your reaction to it when you were. When you just left by, I knew you'd fucked up. Yeah, I'm so sorry. Continue. I'm so sorry. I've ordered food in Oklahoma City to Florida. Oh, shit.

Yeah, really? I've done that before. And it's like, why wouldn't they know? But it's like, they won't know you're the stupid one. It's your fault. Yeah, yeah. No, they tell you. Like, it says, you look very far away from me.

They didn't say that to me. Okay, well, that's your fault. Yeah, it is. I've actually become a master of, when I'm like 30 minutes from home, ordering and trying to collide at the same time. That's a fun game. Do you guys do this where you order food

when you're passing the restaurant because you don't want to stop? Yeah, I've done that. You've done that? Yeah, 100%. Like for me, I do a workout. I'm sweaty. I'm like, I'm going to break out unless I get in the shower quickly.

So I need, I'm passing the Chick-fil-A and I'm ordering the grilled chicken sandwich and the grilled nuggets. You eat Chick-fil-A? Oh, yeah. Oh, you love Chick-fil-A. We love Chick-fil-A. It's delicious, but you know what my mother calls it? What?

Hate chicken. It is hate chicken. That's why it's good, though. It's delicious, but you know what my mother calls it? What? Hate chicken. It is hate chicken. That's why it's good, though. That's why it tastes so delicious. It's got a secret. It's so good. It's like the German World War II rocket program. I think it was the hate program.

It's like break-up sex. Yeah. And gay people, there's a niche group of gay people, me included, that love Chick-fil-A. Yeah. And I think it's kind of like sticking it to the man. You know what I mean? You hate us, but we're going to eat your fucking chicken, you son of a bitch. He always makes the argument

that it gives him so much pleasure, so the guy must hate it. Well, no, I think they're gay. 100%. The people that are screaming the loudest are always the hypocrites. Let's talk about the Chick-fil-A employees. I don't know how they are in California, but in Oklahoma, they are all homeschooled.

Yes. All kids. And this is like their big time to be socialized. Really? And so they're all socialized at Chick-fil-A. They are so fucking happy. So nice. To not be at home studying IBLP.

And they are so friendly. It is their pleasure. And you know that they're finding all sorts of loopholes within the staff to prevent from having vaginal intercourse. I bet they are kinky homeschooled employees at Chick-fil-A. And they start at $14 in Oklahoma.

We support child labor laws. Absolutely. The federal minimum wage is $7.25 in Oklahoma, right? Correct. $1,274 Correct. Yeah. Wow. Like $1,274 gross a month. That is insane. Isn't the reputation of Chick-fil-A employees. They don't need more money.

They don't need more money. They're learning the value of the dollar by not being paid enough. Isn't the reputation of Chick-fil-A employees that they're like over the top nice? Yes. Yes. 100%. And those commercials where they're like, oh, I was having this and this Chick-fil-A employee helped me.

I stopped in for a cop salad and mentioned that I needed a new kidney. That's exactly what they do. And you're kind of like, you don't know whether to just be like, is that bullshit or like fascinatedly and think they're sweet. I've had many good experiences with Chick-fil-A. I've never had a bad experience with Chick-fil-A. Never get your order wrong. How do they vet like that?

They're really fine. It's the homeschool kids are so happy to be out of the house Austin is furiously Austin is desperately trying to change the address I'm trying to pay attention and also change the address this is unprofessional

this is very unprofessional you can butcher up the way that you use your phone this is very unprofessional you can butch up the way that you use your phone dude this is gay Cruz you have gotten gayer yeah what happened no he's limp resting the phone that's crazy I'm so proud of you

we have been his straight gay Sherpas because we are objectively gayer than he is as two straight men because like he came out of the closet what like three four years ago Straight gay Sherpas because we are objectively gayer than he is as two straight men. He came out of the closet, what, like three, four years ago? Should have stayed in it. Like 100%. It's too far from the restaurant. You get to pay extra, right?

Just get a new one, Austin. They're going to charge me $53. You're just going to have to eat it. I'm just going to have to eat it. I'm going to have to go get it. You're going to have to eat it I'm just gonna have to eat it you're gonna have to leave the podcast and go to the hotel it's fine I'll be fine

I'm gonna get a new one let the food sit there I'm so sorry you guys the way that stress manifests on your face makes me so happy I've got a loophole for this any secrets about Uber Eats? If you just say that the order was wrong, they'll give you a bad guy.

No, Austin, you can't do that on camera. You're a bad guy. You're a bad guy. You're going to get comments. I would never do that. Will, are you kidding me? I was saying what you shouldn't do, which I will not do. No, absolutely not.

I would not be doing that. What I was trying to say was that. You're going to redirect it to an orphanage. No, exactly. Yes. In fact, that's where I'm staying. You're staying in an orphanage. That's weird.

A little strange. I'm not staying in an orphanage. Now you see why I'm the problem. I do. I have a question about coming out three years ago. How old are you? Why the delay?

Wait, you just admitted that on camera for the first time in your entire professional career. That's true. We should bleep that. Yeah, bleep it out. You should. That'd be funny. Can you bleep that out, Marshall? It would be funny.

And he's definitely not worried at all. I'm sorry. Say again. So you came out bleep that. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So he's been bleep.

Yeah. You have to bleep all these. You don't have to bleep all of it because people don't know how to do math. So don't worry. Anyway, so I came out at that age and a few years prior I had sort of explored up until that point. 22 is when I had my first gay experience. Up until that

point I kind of thought I was a little asexual. Really? I was like there was no desire. I'm definitely asexual. I'm trying to gaslight her into being a lesbian. Right. She's trying to bring me over. It's just a pet project of mine. You think it's like a stepping stone into being a lesbian? I do. For me it was. I mean not a lesbian. I'm being a lesbian. It's just a pet project of mine. You think it's like a stepping stone into being a lesbian? For me it was.

I mean, not a lesbian. The furthest. But anyway, I kind of was like, I think I like women. An erection. I had sex with women at one point. Women are great. It was tough for them.

It was just not a good experience. Like, it just wasn't good sex. Right. Or me, really. And so, anyway, over time, I was just like, I didn't know how to, like, there was just, like, women, and I knew what was beautiful, but I couldn't establish a type for myself. Right. You know what I mean?

Right. Like, beautiful woman, great. But there's a lot of beautiful people. But we all have, you know. So anyway, over time, I realized I just like guys and, you know, explored through porn and everything like that. And eventually I explored a lot that was in the closet. And eventually I came out of the closet he like his gay experiences flash like him being a gay man was very much limited by the fact that he had been an oregonian for most of his life yeah so he had like never actually truly seen gay culture i guess yep so he was very much he was like a fish out of the water.

So Will and I, living in West Hollywood. Hetero life mates. Yes. Yep. Will, by the way, is the first one that coined the concept of heterosexual gay marriage. I'm trying to tell him we could become another tier of celebrity if we were the first two straight men to be engaged. What's his name?

Callan is trying to... Bryan Cranston? Yeah, Bryan Cranston. Bryan Cranston is trying to do that with Aaron Paul now. Yeah, I think that was a joke. I think that was on this busing film and not discussing. Oh, okay. So I think that was a meme.

But I'm saying that we could forge a path. You consider yourselves hetero life mates. For sure. Yeah. We're non-practicing lesbians. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. We're non-practicing. Yeah. Yes. Non-practicing. I think we would be happier if we were engaged in holy matrimony. Our wedding would be insane. Yeah.

The funnest. Yeah. It'd be a lot of fun. So how long have y'all been friends decade yeah decade plus it's been a long time we're old oh you're talking to us about you guys are not old we're old this is i'm the youngest of them are you yes are you yes i know like actually oh yeah that is true the youngest Not by a lot though. The gayest. He's definitely not the gayest,

but he is now like well on his way to becoming the gayest. So you were kind of like a granola gay. Yes, very much. I was wearing tight pants. Yeah. He looked like an extra from Brokeback. Tight pants. Or his like... Chelsea boots. He would wear Chelsea boots all the all the time oh my god i don't know

why they let me get away with v-necks oh and it was just like dude what are you doing i would yell at him all the time i was like austin please i didn't know what i was doing but it's like probably within the last year that my level of fashion is elevated yeah because i've never known a gay man not to have impeccable fashion and have everything in place, but now I do. I found one. He's finally like, this is the first time I've seen you in a fit where I was like, damn, that's like a great fit. Because in Oklahoma,

no disrespect, in Oklahoma We have gay people. Yes, I know. But they hide sometimes, I'm sure. More in Oklahoma. Oklahoma City is a city of a million people. There's definitely like a gay community. But because it's so evangelical.

Yes. There's so many people that like go to the pray the gay away camps and hide it from their parents. Yeah. You went to one. No, I should, though. I should go with that. I should go and stream it. I should do a camera.

You should go. Oh, my God. You should be undercover. Yes. Over, pray away the gay camera. What if it took hold? You've got to do that. What if it took hold and I actually prayed away?

And I came back and was one of the counselors. Just halfway through your Mary Queen, you're just all of a sudden like, wait, I loved it. Oh my God. That's amazing. Hold on. Well, you're on to something. Even if it doesn't work, let's do this.

There ain't no way, dog. There ain't no way that's working. We can make a ton of money, and I'd be on Fox News. Just where you want to be. Exactly. Newsmax. I think you could go darker. I could cash in.

There's a lot of money to be made. We've always said if Hasan wants wants to cash out we're gonna stick a cowboy hat on him oh he's gonna do an about face and get on fox news i would cash out i i am of the mindset that i am infinitely better at being a right-wing commentator than every single one of them out there maybe with like the exception of tucker carlson because well now he's washed but like when he was on fox news he was pretty good at at hammering like wasp nationalist talking points but beyond that like these guys are not charismatic at all at all no way they got no riz i would kill it as a right-wing commentator

yeah i didn't know i had to ask how'd you how'd you where'd you first hear it well i uh a friend of ours we were on a trip her nephew and he oh, so-and-so has no Riz. And I was like, trying to act cool like I knew what it went. And then I was like, Riz. I was like, you know, charisma. And then, like, literally two days later when we got home, I read an article. If you have to ask what Riz is, you have none. And I was like, well, that's me.

I have no Riz. No Riz. Don't worry. The person that wrote that article doesn't have it either. Once slang gets to the New York Times, it's over. I have no Riz. Don't worry. The person that wrote that article doesn't have it either. Once slang gets to the New York Times, it's over. We've already

established this. I have to be honest, I like a lot of new slang. Riz just says never. Yeah, I haven't used it either. It sounds like the noise a doorstop makes. Riz. I like it. I like the mouthfeel of it. I don't. I like the noise a doorstop make riz i like it i like the mouth feel of it i don't i like the mouthfeel of it i feel like i if i said i just wouldn't look cool

sometimes i back to the fox i'll if i'm watching the news something like really delicious is happening like republican cannibalism and it's like such as really salacious and vapid content i'm like i'm gonna go to the dark side and see what they're saying on Fox. And how they, I agree with you. These are not it factor people. No. They have, it's so boring, breathtakingly boring to watch, but it's amazing how they have indoctrinated all of these boomers and how pissed off they are all the time.

It's unbelievable. But it's so entertaining to watch. It is. I love doing that same thing. When something's happening, oh, you can't handle it? I can't. It just makes me so fucking mad. I want to kill someone.

I think there's a hump. Like, I used to be like that, but then I've watched so much of it, and I look at it from, like, the lens of being fascinated by it more so because I'm just like, how do you come to these conclusions right like we don't do politics on this podcast for the record so this is the most amount of politics we've ever done really on this pod yeah but um you know we're making a special exception but uh yeah it's just i i i make a you know i make i make a whole ordeal out of it. I like to dress up as what I call a hog.

Hank Pecker. I release merchandise. I have a hog personality by the name of Hank Pecker. Early in our friendship, I gave him his white name. Yeah. I gave him his. Parts of his family still just call me Hank. Yeah.

Like, don't call me Hasan. I bet that's fun. See, sometimes I think I envy it because I'm like, it'd be fun to be that unhinged and crazy all the time and never apologize for it. There's a simplicity to it. Right. And I wonder if some of them are happier.

Oh, yeah, for sure. I feel like they're madder. It's just rage. Angry. Some of them. But it's like so They're so dumb If instead you had to go through all the pain Of kind of coming out of the closet

And accepting your sexuality You just blamed Mexicans for that It's a much simpler process I think they're onto something Not about Mexicans I'm not gay they stole my job I think one of the My favorite things about Fox News And this is very I think one of the,

my favorite things about Fox news, and this is very, this is, this is my tism sparking. There's something very interesting about like when you go to another country and watch the ads, there's something amazing about that. Fox news has its own set of ads. Oh yeah.

Where it's like, everything is like, are you ready for the market crash? Have you bought 24 pounds of gold stockpile gold now? And then it's like a are you ready for the market crash? Have you bought 24 pounds of gold? Stockpile gold now. And then it's like a hearing aid commercial. And then like life insurance policies. And now they have their own brand of like things that are not woke. Like Daily Wire is doing this as well, where they're just like taking, you know, the regular shaver.

But this time it's like, do you hate trans people? Like use this shaver instead of like the gay one and then women shouldn't have it's all this like faux alpha male stuff like hamston i always crack up at how they've like whitewashed trump so much like he's i mean obviously he's white but like they make him thin they They Photoshop him. He has an AR-15, and it's so homoerotic. Yes. You know? He carried eight boxes of pizza, guys.

That was pretty hot. He basically has a footlong. It's like what they did to Jesus, though. They did. Totally. It's the exact same thing. It's so sexual. Yes, it is very sexual.

I think. Not this kind of sexual. What are you saying about my Lord? They sexualized Jesus. they were yeah they did why did he need to put like cum gutters on jesus i think the reason why is because the guys like all the artists that first depicted him were gay as hell so they were like damn jesus kind of fucking it's true it's probably true like have you been to fl and seen David With a teeny weenie The scale of that is crazy He does have a teeny weenie

But we don't know how it looks hard Yeah he's a grower not a showman I had this debate because A lot of penises do look Very small when they're flaccid So I had an interesting theory about this If you know anything about the creation of david uh the the church basically commissioned that marble statue and it was a very the way they commissioned the marble

and the way they moved the marble it came in like a square pillar and david was originally worked on by another sculptor who had no talent and the first thing you do is break it down and he broke it down way too thin. So then they hired... Was it enough for the dick meat? That's what I'm saying. They hired the real baller to come in, but if you look at David, he's all kind of smushed up because the pillar was so thin. Maybe there wasn't

enough column meat to give him a fat cock. I googled this. During the time period, large penises were not as beloved as they are now in our vapid modern culture. They felt like that if you had a teeny weeny,

you had a big brain. But you know who's responsible for in our society of big penises being more renowned? Men. Of course. Straight men. Of course. I do like a big penis. I thought you were ace. penis i know but i mean i

have in the past that's your question right that's my exception is a big penis it's a big how big are we talking i mean i don't know we're all out i like the girth matters oh that's the girth matters. Oh, that's the girth? No, no, no. She did this. Yeah, like, I mean, girth. That's pretty good.

That's a pretty good dick. I mean, yeah. I think you've got to go sport dick. I don't think you can go too big. I don't think you can go too small. You have to have a sport dick size. Okay, so tell me about that. I think a sport dick size. Okay, so tell me about that. I think a sport

dick size would be probably six inches and maybe about like this. If it's too big, if it's too big, then it can be limiting as the receiver. Well, as the receivers, as you know. Are you a bottom?

I'm a top. But did you assume I was a bottom? It's okay. I never get that. But that's okay. Well, I just assume that maybe every now and then you might have to take in the relationship. He failed booty boot camp. He can't even do it. He is a selfish top.

I'm a selfless top. He's a selfish top. He's not a service top. He doesn't even have sex with men. He's essentially a straight man who fucks gay men. Is that true? No, there's a rumor that he is perpetuated that says I'm a selfish top. He has not been in the bedroom with me.

But you're not a bottom? No, I've never bottomed before. But most of the men that I sleep with tend to not want to top me, usually. That's one thing I really admire about the gay community. So I went to Gay Ski Week in Aspen a few years ago. And I got on my gay friend's grinder. And I was like, can I work this for you?

And he was like, yes. And it's just amazing how quickly you get to the neck cutting. How big? Are you a top? Are you a bottom? It is just completely, everything is completely handled. We're in the straight world. You have these mating rituals that you have to go through.

Grinder is to tender as like play mobile is to Lego. It's just a much simpler, right? It's like, yes, no, let me see your ass. And then it was like,

this person is a hundred yards from you. And so I'm telling my friend i'm like harris harris they're right over here so we start walking i'm like that's him it was so fun yeah why can't we do that as straights i know why can't we figure it out too complicated no it's too complicated it's too complicated for that there's too much going on women women we require more yeah we require a lot more than just that. There's also an element of danger, too. I feel like you don't know what this guy is going to be like.

He might get violent. Maybe you don't want it. That's the hot part. Maybe you don't want it halfway through, I feel like. That's most of Grindr. Okay, well, see, that's what I'm saying. Men operate with a different speed. There's people on Grindr, okay, that will

this is their thing. They'll blindfold themselves and send addresses to people. Blindfold them, give them access to their home for people to come have sex with them. Cataclysmically horny. And then leave

without ever seeing their face, without knowing who they are. Down abysmal. These things happen on Grindr. Completely anonymous. I've always had a lot of gay friends, but my week that I spent at Gay Ski Week, I was in the trenches

on the front lines of all of this. It's amazing the stories they tell me. One of my friends on Grindr ends up in some white trash park yeah like outside of oklahoma city and there is a glory hole oh my god and he walks into this bathroom in this park and the guy's like grunting over here go over there's a cutout where the penis is passes a condom they do the deed leaves they never see other. Full-blown glory hole in the buckle of the Bible belt. That is sick.

Sometimes you got to get a nun off. Yeah. I always say, and I've maintained this, if there was a once-a-day prescription pill that I could take to be gay, it'd be done. We've done a sketch on this. It'd be done. I'd take it every day.

We've often thought being a lesbian would be much easier for us. And I think lesbians are such an organized, ambitious group of people. They really should rule the country. Lesbians have their shit together. Way more than gay men. You know what I mean? I feel like they'd be really good running our natural. Totally.

Totally. Yeah. I would agree with that. Girl autism combined with lesbians. Yeah. I don't have many. Yeah. Girl autism combined with lesbians. Yeah. I don't have many lesbian friends. I'd like some more. Unstoppable.

We have a lot. Can you be my fake lesbian friend? Yes. You're non-practicing lesbian friends. You found it. I love that. LA at our show last night, there were so many power lesbians there. Yeah.

In Oklahoma City, we have lesbians, but you don't really have like power lesbian couples where both of them are so incredibly ambitious and successful and you see them and you're like, they're power lesbians. They're going camping this weekend. I really envy them. That's it, because they're going to have

their female, but then they have this MacGyver shit going on. I play pickleball with all these lesbians, and you wouldn't believe their tool sheds and their equipment that they have to mow their yards and edging and all of this shit.

They got a tool shed for work and then they got a tool shed for fuck. I have a lesbian security guard. She was a fucking badass. She was taking out people that didn't even deserve it. Try me, motherfucker. Because Twitch does this thing She was a fucking badass. I like that. She was taking out people that didn't even deserve it. I like that. You're just walking through. Try me, motherfucker.

Make a hole. Make a hole. Because Twitch does this thing. So a lot of us are Twitch streamers by original, where we originally. A lot of us. All three of us. All three of us. Except for Austin.

He doesn't really stream. I don't really stream anymore. He doesn't really work at all, actually. Just vacations. Yeah, I do. Twitch, TwitchCon, they give us security guards. But a lot of times, these security guards don't understand that we're not Brad Pitt. Yeah. Right. Right? And so not Brad Pitt. We're walking through

a Las Vegas casino where we need security at the convention because there's a lot of people that know us. Nobody knows us, but they're moving people out of the way. Speak for yourself, dog. People know him. At least they think so.

Y'all need to explain to Pumps what Twitch is right i'm not i'm i know it's like live yep it's good good start it's youtube but for live streaming like that and are you playing games no yeah people play games i don't i i that is the quick definition the way that i like to describe twitch is some point in the last 10 years, people have consumed content in a new way in which now they want two streams of content. If you've ever been around a teen who's watching a movie while he's on his phone, it's kind of like this neurodivergent brain where it's like they need constant impulse. So I think a lot of our audience are second screeners where they will be working at a job or they will be studying for school or they will be cooking or something. And we are a live podcast that they put on almost as like a security blanket on their other monitor.

And they can talk to the live podcast as well. It's like having a friend in the living room with you. That's what's cool about it is all the interaction. I saw it on my credit card statement for years because I have two sons. is 21 years old goes to syracuse studies journalism there the other one's a junior in high school i would see all this twitch and i was like what is the twitch charge they're like it's a gaming thing he knew that's how like we didn't know who you were and then you like twitched us or whatever it's called streamed us and my son in syracuse is like mom um hasan piker is talking about you and i was like okay who's that

so then i go to your twitch so awesome and i click on your twitter and you two are watching this reality show of him and i think it's the two of you maybe you were there of penis shrinkage and measuring i watched it for an hour it was so fantastic i was just like and then your coverage of dick i'm thinking about like okay how long has have dylan and roman been doing this so they've been watching the dick measuring shit since they were probably around eight with you thought that's exclusively what we were covering? No, then Dylan explained to me. He's like, no, it's like video gaming, blah, blah.

And so then I understood. Mom! I describe what I do to a lot of people, at least in the media and traditional spaces, is like basically an interactive Rush Limbaugh, but also not on drugs and not a total freak. I have a great Rush Limbaugh story. Oh, really? Do you know Rush Limbaugh? Okay, so my husband is in recovery,

and he went to rehab five times. First rehab stint was at this bougie-ass place called The Meadows. I think I've heard of this place. So I go out to The Meadows, and this is probably early 2000s and i can't you have to keep anonymity but i walk in and i see l m dot supermodel i can't say the last name because i'm respecting her anonymity and i'm like fucking furious i'm like are you kidding me i'm at home with this baby and you're at Meadows working on Little Josh with a fucking supermodel.

Go fuck yourself. I was furious. Anyway, so he gets sober. Two days before he leaves, it hits that Rush Limbaugh has this opioid problem. He is heading straight to the same place. I'm on the phone with Josh. Everything's

a lot better at this point. It's amazing what 45 days can do. You need to delay your recovery. Yeah, stay. And then, of course, you know, he gets out, and he's still every bit of a repulsive son of a bitch that he could possibly be. But, no, there was he – Josh saw him. Like, he was on the intake having to go to detox

as Josh was leaving. Oh, wow. Yeah, his situation – yeah, he was a the intake having to go to detox as Josh was leaving. Yeah. Well, wow. Yeah. His situation. Yeah. He was a major opiate opioids addict. Yeah. Yeah.

He's a interesting fella, but like I obviously, I mean, as much as I despise these figures, I can also in my mind, like Alex Jones, for example, in my mind,

I also can like kind of look at it as like pure entertainment not to say that like i separate the art from the artist at all because like the impact is still gross and and awful but as a as a streamer broadcaster myself like i do i do sometimes look at that i feel like there's uh there's some takeaways that you can get from them because like alex jones um there's a reason why he was in a scanner darkly and right did i say that right will yes like all these uh all these flicks early on in the in the 90s and early 2000s as like the conspiracy figurehead uh because he is a uniquely entertaining individual. It's just I've always maintained the position that we, as a society, are not able to look at it and derive enjoyment and entertainment out of it because we take it seriously and we go,

oh, this guy is actually speaking truth to power. I'm going to attempt to say something and tell it. What? Go ahead. Do it. I'm going to say that having a serious debate with these people gives them credibility so taking the power away from it and looking them as a as a circus which is what they are uh sort of uh takes away the any sort of credibility or it invalidates everything that they're talking about. And that's the way I've watched Hassan. I was a fan of Hassan.

I've been a huge fan of Hassan. And through watching his broadcast that's sort of, I used to be the same way. Like my mom is this way. She watches Republicans and she tries to have arguments. I'm like, mom, why are you arguing with this? Just watch and laugh because it's so stupid. You

can't argue. Like, do you hear what they're saying? Yeah. Here's the one thing I'll say, like when you live or you all live, you can sit back and you can watch it and it can be entertaining to you because you're so detached from it where we live. I mean, people that live around us think the earth is 6,000 old yeah and when these people speak it is like methamphetamine to them it is and they take it so seriously so we on the way here there was a news report that came up that oklahoma state politician is passing an anti-furry right legislation serious it's a heart attack if the child shows up to a school in oklahoma city that they will call the parents or animal control this is in the law legislation if a child shows up dressed as a cat

to school and i'm like what do you care in the 80s everybody dressed like fucking ozzy osbourne nobody gave a fuck you know know? Animal control? Animal control. This is what it is. And that's almost like a fake story, too. Right! It's not even a real thing. Joe Rogan elevated this complete nonsense fabricated story and made it a real thing in the conservative circles. Oh, it's not real.

No, no, no. The bill is real. The bill is real. The origination of the bill comes from this idea that it's transphobic. It's supposed to be transphobic but like they there was this lie being told about pennsylvania schools i i think where they were putting kitty litter right in the in the classroom so a teacher could use the litter box right so so that and they and they were saying like oh it's because students are coming in and saying i'm cat gender or whatever which is not a real like no one's doing that okay um and if they are doing that they're fucking

children like calm down nobody's like literally allowing kids to piss in a kitty litter exactly turns out the real reason for why they have kitty litter in the school classrooms was actually because of school shootings yeah that's the reason why they have kitty litter in the classrooms because they use that to stop the bleeding. It's a part of the survival kit that American schools have. I'm sorry, that is so much. I want you all to know that in Oklahoma, they've cracked the case and they're putting an end to it. They're going to call animal control.

It's something about the fact that schools are finding thrifty ways to pack bullet holes. Instead of banning guns. I remember the first time because when we grew up in Oklahoma, you had a tornado drill and a fire drill. Yeah. And you did that a couple of times a year. And it was a big circle jerk. And everybody got in a line and everybody's dicking off. Yeah.

So I picked up my son Roman a couple of years ago from school and he's probably in like eighth grade and he got in the car and he was like, yeah, we did our drills today. And I was like, Oh, tornado and fire. And he was like, no, the active shooter drill. And I was just like, my heart fell to my stomach thinking about like, that is a real thing that kids have to be prepared for so that we can placate the fucking gun lobby. It's especially maddening for me because we live in this state where everybody's so pro-life and pro-Jesus.

But how they have braided Jesus in assault rifles, it's insanity. I can't believe it. The bigger the Christian, the bigger the gun nut. Yeah. Typically 10 times. I can't believe it. The bigger, the bigger, the Christian, the bigger, the gun nut. Yeah. Typically 10 times out of 10. So crazy. That's a lot. I've been to, I've been to the, to the, the Oklahoma gun show.

Shut up. Yeah. When I was in, when I was at OKC, one of the times, never seen so many swastikas. Oh, really? Oh yeah. They got like, obviously like they have the ironically they have the confederate flag everywhere which i'm like you're oklahoma right hello like that little that little spot that you have in your state is directly because

you were not doing the whole slavery thing and texas was like we want slavery so bad that we will give up a piece of our territory to oklahoma so like or you know inevitably it became ranked 50th in education has gone yeah are you really yeah oh boy oh it's i need to go there it's dire yeah however very cool sewer caps do you guys know that no in okc the the the manhole covers that you have for your sewage system actually has you are here and an entire grid of the Oklahoma City. And it shows you exactly where you are on the map. I'm surprised Austin wasn't more interested.

I'm so sorry. In manholes. I need to apologize. I had an existential crisis with my food delivery. And I had to manually get the food. Look, Oklahoma manual covers have a city map on it with a white dot showing exactly where you are in the city. I had no idea. I had no idea.

I'm fascinated by Oklahoma. Oklahoma has a lot of fun, cool stuff. Like Governor Mary Fallin, former governor of Oklahoma, instituted a national oil prayer day. But it was woke because she said Muslims can join as well. Oh. Well, she knew that they're like a divining rod for oil, right? Right. Count 2X for oil.

Did people have a problem with that? The Muslim part, they didn't give a shit. Right. As long as it's oil, part didn't give a shit. Right. As long as it's oil, they don't give a shit. In Oklahoma. Well, I was just curious if they raised hell over that. Yeah. No, no, no.

They were praying for oil, brother. Everybody wants that. Which, of course, Oklahoma, the fracking industry is the reason why Oklahoma now has like, I guess, massive amounts of earthquakes. Right. We just had like last week there were some big ones because of fracking. 19 in one night. Did you

guys, do you do the earthquake drills at your school? No, not yet. These are new. At a certain point if you're so into God and like especially evangelical Christians like they just don't put two and two together that like God is furious.

Right. Like the God is not enjoying the things you're doing. It seems because he's punishing. Well, you know, God tested Job. Yeah. Yeah.

Ladies, what do you want to talk about? We've been running our stupid ass. We've been talking. Just man. Okay. I want to talk. I think Austin, Seth, one of our producers who watches all of your stuff. We've been running our stupid ass mouths. We've been talking. Just mansplaining. Okay, I want to talk.

I think Austin, Seth, one of our producers who watches all of your stuff, perhaps kind of flirts with Karenism. Okay, Karenism. And it's my understanding that you kind of flirt with Karenism. Oh, it hurts. Here's my thing. Like, obviously there is this, you know, a Karen, and you think white women that look like us potentially.

No, you guys look too good. Karens have like a tackiness to them. That you don't. Thank you. I think you don't have the trademark Karen hair. No. I can get it. I love a good Texas hair. I tell her all the time.

I'm like, do not Sarah Palin your hair. She will wrap that shit up. I'm like, do not Sarah Pal get it. I love a good Texas hair. I tell her all the time. I'm like, do not Sarah Palin your hair. She will wrap that shit up. I'm like, do not Sarah Palin it. But anyway, at first I was like pumped because we'd go out to eat. And she's like, this queso is a little warm. I'm going to take it right back up there. And she grabbed the queso and march up and have them reheat it. And I'll just look at the waitress.

I'm like, and then I realized you can use a friend that is a Karen for your good. So now that we're traveling on tour, anytime I want somebody to be an asshole, I say, hey, Karen, go eat about it. She Karen's up. We do that with Austin all the time. Yes, it's kind of great to have a Karen. See, that's, but see, the key distinction, and I feel like we're of the same. I knew it from the moment we met. We're one of the same.

The key is being nice about it. Absolutely. Advocating for yourself. Going to the waitress. Not being like, bitch, my queso's cold. What the fuck? Fuck you. It's more like, hey, I'm so sorry.

I know this isn't your fault. That's exactly. I'm so sorry. I know this isn't your fault. Would you mind heating this up for me? Right. I know I'm a pain in the ass. I know I'm a pain in the butt.

Would you mind? And I worked at the service industry briefly. So did I. I did too. And I was, I didn't, I didn't mind when people approached it like that. It's when people are like, this is fucking cold. This is ridiculous. Let me talk to your man. So that's how I approach things. I believe

though, so my, the core foundation of my, I call myself a white hat Karen because I think it's like I'm a Karen for the good of the people. Right. That's what I am. Yeah, see? I knew it. I knew it, see?

Karenism for good. Exactly. So my belief is that when you pay for a good or a service, you pay for that good or service, you should receive that good or service, what you paid for. And if you receive any less than that, you should be compensated. So let's say a hotel or whatever. You show up at a hotel. The experience is awful.

You didn't get what you paid for. Then I think that there should be some sort of compensation in that. And you should handle it in a respectful way. But the reason I think it's a care of the people is corporations, airlines, hotels, whatever, they'll take advantage of the consumer. They do, sure. Always. Because they assume that the consumer isn't going to fight back. They'll cancel your flight.

They won't give you any. They'll try to put you on another flight without giving you any compensation. They'll do all sorts of things, and nobody will advocate for themselves. And so I believe that you should advocate for yourself. You should get what you pay for and stick it to the corporations. And that's a very leftist ideal, and Hassan's been struggling to come along with it. No, no,

I think it's like a really tight rope. It teeters. You could hear if you just glean into a little bit, is it entitlement there? You know, it, it kind of gives that vibe a little bit, but I do believe that corporations like with all of this tip and

everything, especially it's just consumer exploitation because they don't want to pay people a livable wage so now we're tipping at the self-checkout right all this fucking crazy shit yeah and it is tipping at the self oh yeah yeah my cleaners wanted to tip the other day my fucking cleaners yeah like you wished and dry cleaner yeah oh the dry cleaners yeah the dry cleaner oh no no no no not the self checkout is wild right yes i was ordering something online i got suckered in i think it had a couple melatonin and i was suckered into some some instagram app is that legal in oklahoma yeah you know we legalized weed really they put the vote to the people and yeah we legalized marijuana restrictions

that though is that don't you guys still have the weird like liquor laws though? Yes. Like the dry county stuff? Like you can't have cold beer? You have to be 21 years old to sit at a bar. Right.

Like I couldn't walk up to a bar if you wanted to just sit at a bar and watch a basketball game with my 17-year-old son. Do you guys have ABC also? Yes. Oh, okay. Wait, in the state of Oregon,

Alcohol and Beverage Control. Alcohol and Beverage Commission. State of Oregon, you can in the state of Oregon. Alcohol and beverage control. Alcohol and beverage commission. State of Oregon, you can't sit at a bar as a kid. Yeah. That I've heard in other places too, but what I was talking about specifically is like, I think there's like weird rules around like liquor stores have to close at a certain hour. Yeah, they have church hours. They have church hours.

No Sunday. No, they just started opening on Sunday. Oh, yeah. We just had a big thing happen in the last two years. Before, you could only buy liquor at the liquor store. You couldn't go to a Walgreens and get a bottle of vodka. Oregon's the same way, too. Oh, really?

Yeah. That surprised me. I don't want to get too far. You were on melatonin and you bought something. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yes. I bought something. And then I'm checking out.

And it was like, would you like to tip the person that packages? It was like some racket toothpaste or something that my son wanted this purple toothpaste. And he's like, mom ordered this for me. So I'm on there ordering it. I'm like tip the person that boxes it. And then,

you know, as somebody who were, I was a waitress in college. It's like you, it puts you in this moral dilemma because you're like, I don't want to be the dick that doesn't, you know, tip these people

but also fucking pay your people yeah yeah no it's what i see it as charity i think that's what it is which i don't have a problem with i'm very fortunate so i i still juice it up like i rack it up every time but i do understand that it comes absolutely from a place of like corporations not wanting to pay their employees and trying to add on additional costs to the consumers in like a sneaky way and the inconsistency of that is sold to every american is like well you know you might make even more money this way and some corporations like uber in in some parts of the country i'm not entirely sure on what they're doing right now, but I believe it might be DoorDash or Uber that has started taking some of the tips or lowering the actual wages down and like taking some of the tips

that you thought you were giving to the, to the Dasher. And that's bullshit. That is bullshit. Yeah. We are legally trying to do this thing that like restaurants used to do all the time and still do to this day. Not to flex, but we had AOC on our pod on Tuesday.

Not to flex. That's pretty impressive. No big deal. You also had Neil deGrasse Tyson on. We did. Not a big deal at all. That's also a huge deal. That's why this is that much more humiliating for us.

You guys are really falling off. What's going on? Here we are on the Fear Ann podcast. We were talking to her about tipflation, and she said a lot of waitresses, and I remember when I waited tables, you made like $2 an hour, so you really needed that 15% to 25% tip. And because now tipflation is everywhere, it's damaging the people who are making well below minimum wage that rely on

those tips because people feel over tips. So they're tipping less in general across the board. Interesting. People are tip fatigue. That's right. Great one. Yeah. There's a pet peeve of mine.

When the, you know, the suggested tips that come up on them. Yes. If that starts at like 25%, I get really, really, you got to give me the the option i'll give you the 25 but we can't start there yeah give me the 15 then 20 then 25 you want to feel like you want to feel like a big dick yes yeah i like when it has the little

parentheses like good service great service wow and i'm. And you're like, I'm not a tight ass, but if they start at 25, yeah. Tell me how fat my cock is. Isn't it crazy how 10% is an insult? Yeah. Bad service, 10%. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. It's going to get worse. I mean, look, everyone

is penny pinching. Everyone is cost cutting. Everyone is corner cutting. So, you know, this is another byproduct of that. Well, I'm not. I'm tipping the same. I'm proud of you, man. And how would you tip if we're ordering something online like me? I don't do that. Yeah, I wouldn't either.

I didn't do it. I was just like, this is too far. If I can't see them, it's a little dicey for me. You know, one thing that Uber Eats drivers are like. No, no, Uber Eats drivers get my tip. A hundred my tip 100 specifically the uber east driver that i just talked about earlier he i manually the uber wouldn't let me change the location i texted him he did it himself oh that's great how do you feel about you go to walgreens or cbs this is something we talk about on our podcast a lot forced philanthropy so you're at the checkout and it comes up to save the babies i hate the

dogs hate it i can hate it i mean you had it i still give it such bullshit it it no i don't i don't i don't don't do it do not do it i do it because here's the deal how are you vetting like we were at a halloween costume shop buying these like naughty nun costumes for halloween and as we go to check out the cashier's like would you like to donate for the babies right and i'm like fuck those first yeah first i said no and then she was like okay like she did not expect my boundary she's like what about if i round up it was like a hundred dollars and 44 cents she was what if i round up to one i want and i was just like so cornered i was like i'll do it so then pumps and I get in the car. We did. We fell.

We thought about turning around and going back. For 49 cents. We were like, we're going back and get that 49 cents. We got completely unhinged. And then we started having an imaginary conversation with the gal, like what we'd really want to say to her. Like, when's the last time you had an abortion? Have you ever taken plan B?

How do we know this is going to the babies? Are these babies Trumpers? Are these babies? What are the vibes of the babies? Right, exactly. Maybe they deserve to be aborted. I'm just saying. What's your STD record?

The way I view it, and maybe this is strange, sometimes when I go into temples or I'm walking by a fountain, I'll throw money in there, and I don't give a fuck where that's going. That's how I view it. Well, I'll throw money in there. And I don't give a fuck where that's going. That's how I view. Right. Well, you think you get a wish. Didn't you learn that growing up? If you throw a penny, you get a wish.

You're just philanthropic at heart. I'm one thousand percent against that specifically because, look, I mean, I've raised three million million for various different causes this past year. And, you know, these are all things near and dear to me, including I work with a lot of I work with a lot of the Rio Grande, Rio Grande Valley, like abortion providers and things of that nature specifically as well. And one of the things I never do is that that thing, the roundup or any of that, because why am I fundraising for a corporation that's going to take that revenue and be like, look at how wonderful we are. Exactly how much money we donate. It's like, bitch, donate it on your own. causes just shave off like a couple million dollars of lobbying funds that uh go directly into the pockets of like republican and democratic uh politicians that end up deregulating uh the economy sir this is a target that's i never say that to like some random employee but also like that is definitely my mentality on it like i'm not i'm not here to

help your you massage and they get a tax break get a tax break for it yeah yeah the places where you select the thing and then they write your name on a star yes we have that no comment i've done that and i'm just like oh shit you're a sucker no but i hit the one dollar and i'm just like they're like here's the star and the Sharpie. And I got to write the name. And they're sticking it up. And I'm a hero. You're grandstanding.

And I'm a hero. I can't be a hero. No, but it's a dollar. And I'm sure somebody, I just didn't feel like I deserved the star. Yeah, I got you. You know what I mean? Gotcha. For your whole dollar.

Yeah, for my whole dollar. Somebody else donated a lot. I felt like they were being great. They, for my whole dollar. Somebody else donated a lot. They were being great. They're a star and celebrity. You're right next to him with your dollar donation. Literally, right up there. I think there's a problem with that. Tipping culture is out of hand.

No, not for me. Tipping is fine. I don't mind it. Donating to a charity is out of hand. Donating to a charity on behalf of Target, I'm never doing that. I'm never, ever doing that fuck that um okay well i think we've done about an hour so we're about to flip over we're not yeah we are not going to be shooting our normal paywalled episode we'll probably shoot that at a later date yes we are going to be filming the I've Had It podcast.

We're so excited. Right here. Flip the scripts. We flip the script and we talk about... I like how they're going from renowned astrophysicists to guys who talk about cock. Or EOC.

We probably are better at talking about cock because we devolve into talking about cock all the time. Us too. You don't want this smoke. We talk about a lot of dick. Every podcast episode, we start serious. We're like totally beating a dead horse.

And then it devolves into me playing a game with sex humor. We need you to talk to our other co-host, and tell her that there's some merit into devolving up to talk about episode yes it's good it bonds people we feel seen we feel seen everybody likes dick like especially straight guys we love talking about it yeah yeah no i was fascinated when i watched you guys live stream the whole i told her about it i was like they did watch this whole like penile penile measuring thing and the guys that did that,

I was so impressed. I knew one of them. Did you? Yeah. One of them was a porn star. Did you top him? No, I didn't top him. Wait, you just checked. Is that the one who sucks his own? Yes. He's at my gym. I see him all the time. He's my buddy now. Yeah, he's awesome. He's great.

Yeah, he's a Hasanabi head. He can suck his own. Very impressive. Is he disjointed? I don't know. He's also Hasanabi head. He can suck his own... Very impressive. Is he disjointed? I don't know. He's also got a fat one. Very flexible and very fat. He didn't win, though. He didn't win. I was shocked. That is shocking.

When you have a fat cock... When you have a fat one, sometimes the length is lost on you. Sometimes it could appear. The girth. When it's girthy, sometimes it looks a little longer than it actually is. On that note, ladies, where can people find you? Thank you so much for coming on.

Okay. So our main Instagram, TikTok, Twitter is at I've Had It Podcast. It's run by a millennial. It is an A-plus feed. Amazing. My personal is probably about a C-minus. It's at Ms. Welch, M-I-Z-Z Welch. Pumpses is maybe a D-plus. I just have been on social media for a year.

At Pumps, Pumps, Pumps. Love that. For the good content, follow at I've Had It Podcast. I like the handle, though, Pumps, Pumps, Pumps. Pumps, Pumps, Pumps. It's good. It's good. I'm going to follow all of them.

And we'll see you on the next one yes you