Fear& - JSchlatt & Ted Nivison Willingly Came On Our Show (Wholesome) | Fear&ChuckleSandwich

Episode Date: April 3, 2023

This week we have the whole lineup + the chuckle sandwich boys for a stacked crossover. They definitely came on our show willingly because they like what we do over here, there was no hostage negotiation type backroom meetings that resulted in this episode. All allusion to any type of blackmail or anything of the sort is completely satyrical and for comedic purposes only, everyone in this room is here willingly and happily. :) Okay goodbye love ya🎉BONUS CONTENT🍾 🌟PATREON - https://www.patreon.com/FearAnd🎧 AUDIO PLATFORMS - https://linktr.ee/fearand♥ follow our guest! ♥Ted - https://twitter.com/TedNivisonSchlatt - https://twitter.com/jschlattChuckleSandwich - https://twitter.com/ChuckleSandwich✰ follow Fear&! ✰Hasan: https://twitter.com/HasanthehunQT: https://twitter.com/QTCinderellaWill: https://twitter.com/TheWillNeffAustin: https://twitter.com/AustinontwitterMarche: https://twitter.com/MarcheFear&: https://twitter.com/FearAndPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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we're live you guys know uh how youtube works we have youtubers with us this is one of the most slammed episodes of all time we're really pushing the youtube algo to its maximum limits we're we're we're tricking out youtubers today that's right tedna vision come on man okay yeah in the building i brought cookies cookies. Oh my God. And their chocolate chips. Oh my Lord. I have no control over. I know.

I was not. Yeah, he was. Why not just bring some meth? Actually, if she brought meth, we would get skinny. Yeah. Instead. That would be. Hey, test, test, test, test.

Hey, I'm Ted. What's up? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Okay. Yeah. If she brought meth, that would actually be better. We also have our full cast here. The full cast.

Cutie Cinderella. Austin Show. Will Neff. He's got the cowboy hat on they just arrived from austin okay oh jesus fucking christ we're never gonna have anyway we're just gonna i'm just gonna keep doing the intro the entire time uh last but not least last but not least we also have jay schlatt in the building's right. You're the only person on the planet that calls me Jay Schlatt. What am I supposed to call you? So true.

It's like formal. It's like he's just learning about it. It's like calling... Is his name Jay Schlatt? It's like using usted in Spanish instead of... Yeah, Jay Schlatt. Well... I didn't know you spoke Spanish.

I took eight years of Spanish. Really? My God. Do you want to speak a little bit for us? No. That's all? Hassan, is this all I get? I get a mic that I have to hold.

I hope my fault is marching. I actually saw two seats, and I saw the microphone here, and I sat here before you could figure out what was going on. He did do that. What the fuck are you guys doing? I mean, I know he lives out here. We ball sometimes, even though he's like, sometimes we balled one time, and then he stopped coming. We balled once, and I stopped coming because your personal trainer has made fun of my belly fat.

Wait, wait, wait. What? I'm joking, but. No, what did they? That's drama. Didn't they call you the milk man? That's not what they said. What did they say?

I don't know, but everyone's taking their shirts off. And I took my shirt off, too. And they all pointed at me and said, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. They did not. They gave me a little piece of shit. And then I was like, nice. And they gave them each $100.

Oh, that part's real. It was traumatizing. And then, you know, I'm eating this here. And I feel like, man. You guys are like professional podcasters though. What's funny? Absolutely not. No, they're not.

It depends on like, yes, we do make money from this, but are we good at it? Really? You don't think you're good at it? I think I'm good. I could talk forever. Well, yeah, but he's also a liar.

That's true. You could talk forever actually. Most people who talk a lot of liars holy shit god i am a liar well we're in a room full of people who like to talk a lot i am um first order of business what are you guys doing what are you what are you doing out here oh we're doing a cheeky little chuckle week. Oh, no. Well, we didn't get the invite this time, so. Well, I mean. What happened? Well, we just had Will on recently. I'm actually going on, so.

I'm going on, too. Yeah, so not we. These two are going on. Do you want? Okay, we can. I mean. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. It's mainly a problem with you.

I. What was that? Well, I'm sorry. I didn't realize this was. Oh, my bad. Hey, I'm not the only one that breaks. See, it's the mic. It's not me.

I got to explain this. Okay. Go ahead. There's a certain amount of room that we have during a chuckle week. And most of that is based upon how much stamina the individuals have. You should introduce what a chuckle week is first. Oh, if you don't know what a chuckle week is, it's essentially not a single week in the time of the people watching it,

but it's a week for us. So it's a bit of a backwards way to name it, but since we're not in the same location, we come out to L.A., we film a bunch of podcasts in a week. I don't need to worry about recording podcasts for like three months. Three a day. Most days. Yeah.

Well, we've been doing it. We've been kind of like an average of two days this week. But this is the third today. That is true. And tomorrow there'll be a third for me. This is charity, though. We're not making any money off of that. So you asked every single.

Yeah. It's a problem. We actually. Do you guys want to like unionize? We're in a any money off of that. So you asked every single... Yeah, it's a problem. Wait, actually, do you guys want to unionize? We're in a lawsuit right now. It would be ironic if he did not allow us to unionize. So we're unionizing on this side of the table? Hassan is smart. He does what every socialist does. He allows me to be the ruthless capitalist

that just destroys everybody's life and then he hides behind a veil of ambiguity. He doesn't know what's going on. So shut up and keep working for free. Fucking piss ants. Damn. It's bad that he said that, but I'm in support. See, we got a system.

We got a system. I want clarity on. So every single person in this room is on the Chuckle Week, Chuckle podcast. No, I was just on it recently. Well, you know, he's coming on and so is Marsh. So you're actually the only one that's not going to be on Chuckle Week, and that's because of the way you treated me at that basketball court. Yeah.

Okay, to be fair, I was going to say something about the. You called him Portly Ted. Yeah, he called me Portly Ted and he smacked my ass. I didn't do any of those things because I'm also fat. But what I was going to vibe with you on was that there are some people out there that when they take their shirts off, it does feel like they're bullying you, even if they don't say anything. And my two trainers are like that.

He's trying to commiserate with you without you agreeing. So what I'm detecting here right now is that you're saying that I was insecure when your personal trainers took their shirts off. And I am now inventing some scenario that didn't actually happen. To which I say erroneous. Okay? Did that actually happen? No.

Oh, okay. I'm going to be honest. If I took my shirt off and somebody said I was bullying them. I did take my shirt off, though, and there was a moment. Well, it's because they're like so full. But I didn't actually take offense from it because, you know, I'm not in the best shape. They're so shredded, though, that, like, it is offensive.

When they take their shirt off, it's, like, kind of fucked up. Yeah. If you said I was bullying you by me taking my shirt off, I'd be like, that's the nicest thing anybody's ever said to me. Yeah, I mean, you have a great body. You have a great body. But these guys are on a different a on a on a different uh playing field body wise i would say this is kind of what they showed up for that basketball little

pickup game they were like oh yeah we just surfed this morning at 6 a.m and then we like i don't know carried goats on our back up a mound they were like they did like five things before they showed up and it was like 11 a.m. Yeah, no, they're freaks for sure. But that's why they look the way they do. They're pieces of shit for that, honestly. I'm so glad that's the kind of people you surround yourself with. I say as I eyeball my third cookie

that I'm probably going to scarf down. Honestly, really good. Thank you, Kevin, by the way. Taking my suggestion from last week, chocolate chip cookies. What would you like next week? Is this your way of taking credit for something she did just now? I'm thinking next week, I'm thinking maybe some buttered croissants.

No, I don't want to make croissants. Maybe some with chocolate in the middle. No, croissants take like two days. What? Yeah. That's ridiculous. It's a laminated dough. What are you going to do?

Cancel big croissant? How about some, I don't know, like some. That's just French. Like a cheese Danish. Still made with goods made with paste, like croissant dough, essentially. How about donuts? Okay, I'll bring donuts. Thank you.

You don't have to do that. You should make. Donuts? You should make those peanut butter cookies with a little Hershey kiss in the middle. Those are my favorite. Cyclops cookies. That makes them sound evil. That's what they are.

I have a question when did the podcast double in cast members because we've only known losing members yeah um that is true that is when you have like a when you have like a like a successful podcast that everyone wants to be a part of it's just like it kind of works that way yeah no well i'm just gonna dagger you going forward because you guys did not invite me to your newest rendition of chuckle discover in your in your motions through the analytics that like tacking on multiple like combo they needed drama i would like to make that clear the best way to title your podcast i think march is going to be the guy that has to answer for that if you

wait is that what we do? Have you looked at the channel? No, I just look at the views. So it's like the titles are like, Hasan talks allegations of him jerking off capitalists in Times Square. Cutie Cinderella rebukes something. I don't know. I don't know. When did we talk about you and me in Times something. I don't know. I don't know.

When did we talk about you and me in time square? I don't know, but that seems like a good title. you were, okay. That's, he was making that up, but that is what,

that is something that happened. It was sort of just a estimated gas. Yeah. Um, there is, there is one thing I want to say, uh, before you guys came over, you told Austin who,

who booked you guys. I just want to give him props. He did a book. It was a hostage situation. Tell me how that happened. Look, it was a little unfair the way I framed it because I'm going on Chuckle Sandwich tomorrow

and I was like, hey, I got a great idea. Why don't you and Schlatt come on Fear And the night before? Right. Which wasn't completely fair in hindsight because you really couldn't say no because if you do, then you look like assholes. But I didn't frame it that way for the record.

There really was no scenario in which we could have asked you to come on our podcast and then just immediately after said no. Oh, that's so awesome. That's what he does though. But also like- You're so goaded. But in my defense, I gave you an out.

I said, by no means am I framing this as a hostage situation. Which is what was incredible because then it allowed me to then come on this podcast and frame it as a hostage situation. It was not a hostage situation. Which is what was incredible because then it allowed me to then come on this podcast and frame it as a hostage situation. It was not a hostage situation.

It does. To be fair, it does seem like a hostage situation, but I'm on board with it. You are a legend for that. You're on board with hostage situations? Yes, 100%. He called me at...

That's going in the title. I called him at midnight. 2 a.m. 2 a.m., yeah. Crack of ass. I was staying awake for 24 hours to try and be up for my flight at 3 a.m. 2 a.m. Yeah. Crack of ass. I was staying awake for 24 hours to try and be up for my flight at 3 a.m. Yeah. And he goes, hey, Schlatt.

You always know I need something when I say. Hope I didn't get you at a wrong time. He was nervous. Heard you were coming to L.A. soon, you know. Sorry, I'm in Austin right now. Sorry I didn't make any attempt to like meet up with you. We have this new podcast I just joined. I'm leaving your hometown to show up in the other place that you're not normally.

Well, look, and I was supposed to, what was I? No, I called Ted first. Yeah, we were on the phone. And Ted, I was like, I'm going to call Schlatt. Ted is more agreeable. So you were like... Because I wasn't sure because in Chuckles' weeks in the past, there have been times where you've just been sleeping on a couch

in the Game Grumps office. So I wasn't sure what your level of stamina would be. So I didn't want to assume that you would be down to go on the podcast. I wasn't sure if you were going to be conked um that's a good partnership so yeah yeah so when you called i was like okay well we gotta ask that yeah and then you were like i was kind of trying to get you to ask him yeah but then that's sad so then so then you were like oh should i call him or something i'm like oh i'm not sure if it's going to be too late or something. I was like, just calm. Just calm.

Yeah. All right. I was like, you were like so nervous. I was so nervous. You were scared. Schlatt scares me. Of this little 23-year-old. He scares me. Is he 23?

Yeah. Schlatt scares me. He's a youthful boy. The first time I found out both of you guys were like in your early 20s, it hurt me. How old are you? I'm halfway through now. I'm 25. That's when you start expanding.

Physically? Ladies out there, turn 25, your hips just two inches. Definitely felt the hips. Yeah. Ladies. Well, I'll say this. You guys had demands. I don't know if you're even aware of this,

but Austin presented it like it was a demand he was like these guys are hungry they want pizza they want cheese pizza oh yeah I forgot to tell you that oh you asked them so he says I literally called them

no let me be honest this dude just yells out pizza I'm revealing my I'm revealing my secrets here, but I called you wondering when you were going to arrive, but I had to call presenting an offer. That's so funny. Right? I couldn't just be like, hey, when are you guys going to show up?

I've got to be like, hey, guys, you hungry? Mark. Right? Austin, everything you've done and said, I'm so on board with. You enter into situations offering up things you were never obligated to offer up. Yes, but it's nice. It's courteous. Because I always feel like I must offer things.

Because why else would anybody do anything for me? Well, the reason why I'm mentioning this, however, the reason why I'm mentioning this is because I did order pizza. You said that like it was such a big reveal. No, no. So here's the deal, guys. Pizza's on its way, and you're gonna eat it. No.

The reason why I'm saying this is because I'm from the East Coast, specifically New York. Do you need someone to jerk off in New York, by the way? What? Yeah. That'd be great. Next time I'm there.

Listen. Have you had good pizza in Texas? Yes. There's a place called Saccone's. Hmm. Yeah. Okay. That's the only good spot I've found, though.

Well. Pizza is like. Pizza is dog shit outside of the tri-state area for the most part. Pretty much. Pretty much. That's a ludicrous take. Have you guys ever had dog shit? That is a...

It's like a... Are you going to defend deep dish right now? Is that what you're going to say? No, but Connecticut is outside the tri-state. It's close enough. Oh, my God. Connecticut is tri-state. There's nothing...

I'm sorry. It doesn't matter. Tri, meaning free. It doesn't... Free states. Connecticut is... New Jersey. Pennsylvania. Connecticut is more tri-state area than Pennsylvania. Yes. Thank you. Oh, my God. tri meaning three it doesn't three states connecticut is new jersey pennsylvania connecticut

is more tri-state area than pennsylvania yes thank you no pennsylvania is literally pencil tuckie in so many parts half of pennsylvania is trying to escape and become a part of ohio there is connecticut is literally just like a precinct of new york this is this is blaspheme it's not it's funny because you'll say oh there's no good pizza outside of the trice area and then any other person will be like oh have you tried i don't know domino is pretty good over here yeah or some chain like that is the best they've got yeah papa john's but the reason why i'm mentioning this the reason why i was like a big deal sorry ted is because the place that i ordered from is actually La wise like probably the closest I've ever gotten to

The the tri-state pizza. I want you guys to taste it and I want you to do like a like a barstool style like Oh one boy I don't want to I want to gatekeep it No Fuck it. I'll say it. We'll bleep it. Is it called Apollonias? You have to gatekeep it. No. That's Applebee's. Fuck it. I'll say it. We'll bleep it.

We'll bleep it. Dumbass. It's called Papa John's. I forgot. Yeah. When I think of pizza in LA, I'm like, oh, Applebee's. They've got that. Plus, they have the little pizza.

There is a really good pizza place called Apollonias, and the way I found it is through that Barstool guy being there. Oh, really? Yeah. He actually is good, I think. It's actually where I went there with Nick from The Yard. I was going to say Nick Fuentes. I don't know why. I went there with Nick.

Nick Fuentes. And have weird hours, and that's when you know that you're dealing with something good. So my greatest point of pride, Portnoy went to Conti's Pizza, which was my pizza place growing up. When did you become heavily intelligent? His motherfucker took a photo of the pizza and the door,

but he didn't actually deliver. If he didn't deliver, I'm going to lose my mind. Oh, our delivery might have gotten stolen? You think? Drama. That's amazing. Oh, speaking of delivery, I was in Austin, and I Uber Eats. I got high somehow in the state of Texas.

I don't know how. You shouldn't tell people that. What are they going to do? Bleep that out. No, don't bleep that out. I got high on legal. That's it. That's it.

I got high on Benadryl, which is. Yeah, that makes sense. I was so sleepy. Whatever. I was sleepy. It wasn't Benadryl, but it was marijuana. Believe that. Is marijuana an antihistamine?

But I smoked it all. What are you going to do? Anyway, I ordered Uber Eats to the wrong hotel. Oh, my God. Yeah. One fucking pie, Hassan? Yeah, one pie. One.

I have book club after this I'm not eating yeah I'm not gonna eat either but listen book club yeah listen

I need to say something yeah it doesn't matter what hey bleep that out one of the most okay one of the most fucking insane things

of all time just happened Jesus no listen you wanna know why it's like this I don't want to fucking show the outside of my house but the motherfucker put the pizza sideways jesus he

left it i got a photo i'll show you i took a fucking photo of it dude the joker just delivered this pizza bro first of all first of all look how threatening and menacing this photo is. He said, and here we go. This is how he left it. He took a photo of the pizza in his hand like this.

Yeah, that's his delivery photo. So that's his delivery photo. And he threw it like a frisbee at you. Which immediately was like terrifying so I ran outside because I was like, this motherfucker is going to,

you know, yoink this pizza. And then, this is how he left the pizza. Whoa. That's madness. That's not like at a hospital. That is a 90 degree. That's insane.

It's actually fully sideways. No, he left the fucking pizza like next to the door like this sideways. All right. Anyway. Do you want a live review of this of this that's not how i would over hold that hold on why not can we just address this right now you just she okay she's not gonna have it but she is you just looked at us doing the full technique and she said you guys are holding that funny like no wait wait what do you wait what do you what do you you're kidding right

floppy bird it like a Like a, like spaghetti. But acting like you've never seen a fold. I don't hold a fold like that. I've seen a fold. Okay, I already bit into it. I'm sorry, I couldn't wait. You've never seen a fold? I don't think so.

No, I'm scared I have. That's like saying someone's never seen a stop sign. Well, it was enough for me to like see them hold it and it looked weird. There's something wrong here? What do you think? It tastes like LA water. No, it doesn't. What do you think?

After one bite, what's your immediate take? I'm getting a little bit of pizza party going on here. It's good. You can immediately notice it's better than Domino's or like Papa John's or anything. This is the closest you can get in Los Angeles to like actual

regular $1 slices. I think the lacking part is the closest you can get in Los Angeles to actual fucking regular $1 slices. I think the lacking part is the dough and the crust. The crust isn't quite there. It's not as thick as you'd want it to be. It's undercooked. Yeah, it's not cooked thoroughly. There's not. They don't have access to the same water.

Yeah. Here's the thing, too. I'm a bit... All the pizza and bagels are delicious over there. And here's the thing too i'm a bit uh of a sucker for and this isn't even really something for new york or anything i'm just a sucker for a brick oven pizza oh yeah have you guys ever had disano's in la i think i've heard you talk about this sanos goes crazy there's and also a lot of the time when you've got a brick oven pizza

or maybe i'm just in general sometimes they put these little beads under the dough. Oh, I hate those. You know what those little guys are in there? I don't know what I'm talking about here, but whatever it is. It's not powder. What is it? Fucking. It's something.

Are you talking about cornmeal? Flour. It's flour. It's cornmeal. Oh, is it? I'll also say that after a couple minutes of having a piece of pizza folded like this in New York, it's going to be dripping grease down that crease, and this isn't doing it.

The grease factor's lacking here. Is that good to you? Well, it's a throat lubricant. I don't like, oh. Yeah, and I think you might know a thing or two about that. I never thought of that as being a thing that I would do before sucking. Dude. Like eating a pizza before?

I wonder if that's a game changer. Greasy-ass pizza and then suck a dick. Oh, yeah. Slides right down. Ted, you ever sucked a pizza before? I wonder if that's a game changer. Greasy ass pizza and then suck a dick. Oh, yeah. Slides right down. Ted, you ever sucked a dick before? I have not. Oh, slap it. Consider it.

Yeah, well, anyway, it could be a good method. I was just at Valkyrae's house, and I showered there. And by the time I got to my car, I lost my underwear. What? Yeah, I didn't want to talk about it. Wait, what do you mean? How did you lose your underwear? You left your underwear?

I lost my underwear somewhere at Valkyrie's house. Did you let Ray know? How did you walk out and discover it? It'll show up. Cutie, cutie, cutie. You cannot leave women's underwear in anyone's house without them getting into a conspiracy theory that some kind of affair is happening somewhere. Which actually leads me to a mess up, by the way, that Schlatt did at my apartment where this motherfucker left his second phone in between the seats of my couch.

And then Shay finds finds and she's like and i'm like i don't know and it's she's communicating completely blank slate phone by the way there's nothing on this yeah that's crazy battery the only person that was at my place before that was like and i'm and i had been texting schlatt so i know that he had his phone and the only person who had been there before was the cleaners, and I texted them, and they still had their phone, so there's this ghost phone with no explanation.

Did she think it was like a affair phone or something? It was your phone. I think it was very clear that it was like it had to be. Eventually, it had to be Schlatt's phone because the first time I got the guy's number, it was from a fucking like fake number that was set up through Google. Yeah.

That's what I used to do too. Yeah. Every streamer had my, my Google phone number. I gave him a fake number too when I met him. Oh yeah. He gave me, he gave me, he gave both of us a burner number that he would use for his sluts. Yeah.

I gave Ludwig a burner number. No, literally. Literally. I had Austin show and Austin show real phone in my phone for like years. You have just a pure debauchery phone? No, he does. He is Austin Show. Look, if I meet you and I'm not sure.

Listen, I love a good slut, but I don't have a phone for it. I have a number for people that i don't fully trust yet which is an insane thing no it's not it's really tough it's really tough when it's clearly it's like it's not an iphone so when i give them people my number on my iphone they're very confused when it's green text yeah uh when lud and i first met first met, well, not first met, this was a while, like we had been talking for a while, and I gave him my phone number. I felt like such a dick because I was like, do you want my phone number? And he got up and he ran to grab a pen to write it down,

and he was like so excited, and then I was like giving him my fake phone number. I felt like such a dick. Wait, you gave him a fake? Not a fake number, just like my not real number because I didn't trust him yet. Yep, I give people my burner number all the time, all the time. Yeah, I'm a fucking idiot, just like my not real number, because I didn't trust him yet. Yep, I give people my burner number all the time. All the time. Yeah, I'm a fucking idiot, I guess. I just like...

People have fucking burner numbers here. Yeah, what the fuck's going on? I just like use my normal phone. You're not an idiot. You're not an idiot. You see, what you should do as a normal functioning human is tell the person, I'm not comfortable enough with you to give you my phone number.

No, I would never be able to do that, I would never be able to do that. I would never be able to do that. So you would rather give them a fake phone number? No, that's why I give them my real phone number. $50 a month? Yeah. To ignore their messages. No.

I'm not well-adjusted. No. Look. No. She's never even seen a pizza fold, man. It's a working number. Sean currently just prefers deception over being honest. No. It's a working... She's never even seen a pizza fold, man. It's a working number. Sean clearly just prefers deception over being honest. No, my point is I wouldn't get a fucking fake phone number to give people.

Look, for the record, my fake phone number works. I just don't answer. I don't think anyone was questioning. I just don't. I've got five iPhones with carrier plans across the gamut. Do I have your main number? You've got my main. Oh, thank God.

Wow. I don't have your number. I think I know you. How long did I know you before you gave me your real number? I don't know. I think you were really confrontational about it, and then I was like, fine. Wow, that's weird.

Well, because when I went to voicemail, it would be like, Google phone, not real number. Here's your thing. The Google subscriber that you've got. Yeah, it was like, I was speaking to like some network AI or something. But it's funny when you use a Google phone number because you like can't use emojis.

You have to like make sure not to use emojis and you also can't send pictures the same. They come up differently. Yep. I did all this research. It like, it just is weird it sounds like weird characters i've gotten nudes on my burner phone and they don't show up so i have to like react to something that i can't see you're like oh that's so wait wait wait wait i can't

instead of telling them that you didn't get the photo you have you would guess and go, that's a great sack? No. I'll just do the sweating. He's like, this is a photo of my cat. No, no, no. What the fuck? I'll do the red sweating tongue thing. It's a photo of my mom. I said you're my grandmother. Yes, but usually you know a cock or something's coming.

I don't know. I just. Well, how, I mean, there is. Cock sense tingling. Usually you get a little context beforehand, coming. I don't know. I just... Well, how... I mean, there is... Cock sense tingling. Usually you get a little context beforehand, right? You receive some nudes. Yeah, you know when it's coming. You know when it's coming, right?

Cock coming. Would it... No, but like... Every guy... I mean, every guy I've ever spoken to before they send the picture of their cock, they're like, warning. Right.

That's what I usually said to you when I sent you pictures of mine. A lot of people... They're like, are you okay with this? Yeah. i just want to know before i send it most men typically approach most men do not do that you want to check my instagram dms right now we can find a few well if you're speaking like yeah but i'm different i'm famous oh i wish i got i'm famous and desirable i i just get straight asshole pictures. Oh, wow.

It's because they know you're a fucking selfish top, so they go straight to the point. I've never gotten an asshole picture. Hey, Hasan. What's up? You had this whole spiel about New York pizza. This is the closest you can get. Did you not eat the crust?

Yeah, it's not good. Oh, it's not good enough? Yeah, it's not good. Oh, it's not good enough. No, it's not. So the New York pizza... No, I admit that. I'm saying that like... This is as good as it gets. Bitch, you wanted something

even worse than that? Oh, no, it was good. It's like edible at least. Be happy that it's not like I didn't get you fucking like pineapple barbecue chicken shit that they sell. I think that's basil. Oh's like edible at least. Be happy that it's not like I didn't get you fucking like pineapple barbecue chicken shit that they sell. I think that's basil. Oh, it's just basil.

I thought it was like, I was hoping that this was like spinach and not basil. This is. I didn't like critique it, but then it ended up being basil. Why did you want a cheese pizza? Like no pepperoni? I was like, I want a little bit of pepperoni. No. And this dude is like, I just want to eat.

No. I'm a shot. When you get a burger at a restaurant. That's not what we're talking about. just want to eat. No. I'm a shot. When you get a burger at a restaurant. That's not what we're talking about. He's agreeable. No, I'm just, I'm into it. I'm on board. We're team agreeable.

Yeah, yeah. If you want pizza with sauce, bread, dough, or whatever, and then the cheese, this is the purest form of the pizza. That's true. Similarly to the way a cheeseburger would just be the bun the patty and the cheese you put pleasantries on top of it when the base and the in the the the main thing is not good enough hold up you fucking oh we've had this conversation i disagree didn't we have this conversation on your fucking podcast where you like you have an that's an insane take no it's

not i agree with what you're saying about cheese pizza if you want to understand like whether or not the basics the bare bones like the actual fundamentals are right there and their sound you got to go with the cheese pizza i agree with a cheeseburger on the other hand that's fucking bananas dog you don't put like patty cheese ketchup that's crazy. Okay, you've lost me on that. What an entirely inaccurate statement. You got to go patty, cheese, lettuce, tomato. No, you're all wrong.

A little mayo on the bun. You go bottom bun. Oh, thank you. Beef patty. Beef patty, and if you're doing a cheeseburger, slice of cheese, you get your lettuce, your tomato, and maybe a little bit of mayo, honestly. Good call.

No onion? I don't think any burger has ever. I'm eating Ted's burger. Like, you need a condiment involvement. I mean, ketchup is all right, but let's be honest. Ketchup's ship has sailed in most contexts. Yep. Unless, of course, ketchup becomes a little bit more agreeable with me.

If you put a little bit of mayo in it and turn it into like a burger sauce. That looks like, yep. The Vogue burger right now is a smash burger. That's more of a chicken sauce, I'd argue. The smash burgers are no. No, ketchup and mayo is called fry sauce. No, chicken sauce is like so versatile. Poultry is so versatile.

You can put so many different kinds of sauce on it. That is 100% a burger sauce. It's a fancy sauce. You use it for fries and you use it for burgers, which is, you know, many different kinds of sauce on it. That is 100% a burger sauce. It's a fancy sauce. You use it for fries, and you use it for burgers, which is, you know, fries are consumed on the side. I just think when you start loading up a burger, you've got something to hide, you know? That's crazy.

No. No, I don't think that's crazy. On Chuckle Sandwich, do we get sandwiches? No. You get to say what part of the sandwich you are, which has honestly expanded way further than since when we had you two originally on. It's expanded to like no. Well, I wouldn't know because I'm not invited back on the podcast

because I guess I was a shit guest. Can somebody go on? He's busy from 10 a.m. to 9 p.m. So if you could squeeze him in. So if you want to come on in a context that is on our schedule and not us working around you. I like your boundaries. Then maybe we'll let you on.

But if, you know, you're going to be sitting and watching. Was I asked? If you're going to be sitting and watching our videos on your stream all day. Oh, damn. Oh, you don't want me watching your videos? No, you can watch Danny or Chris. Oh, wow. What was that?

We brought up Portnoy's Pizza Reviews. Look up Joe and Pat's Pizzeria review on Staten Island. I don't know if you watch videos on this podcast, but it's a funny as fuck. Oh, we will today. Let's watch it behind the paywall. What do you think? Wait, what? I like that.

By the way, until you made that post from the streaming awards, where it was like all the people I watch, I didn't actually know that you watch my videos on your streams. I've watched, I think, one video of yours. I don't. No, like I don't. Just say yes one video of yours i i don't i i no like i don't say yes dude no i don't watch i don't watch that many records straight on stream i watch your videos i watch your videos in general i don't actually watch any of the dudes that uh i took a photo with for the most part i don't talk to those guys at all. No, no, no. I love those guys. I love those guys, but I don't usually watch...

Floundering. I don't usually watch essay videos. Bud and I tucked in on the beanbag and watched Brain Force Cafe. I've just been choosing not to look down because I felt it at one point and then I was just like, I'm wearing all black.

What have you watched? Stop looking at me while you're biting and the crumbs are falling on you. point landed on me and then I was just like, I'm wearing all black. Oh, shit. What have you watched? Stop looking at me while you're biting and the crumbs are falling on you. Well, okay. I don't want to get... I can't believe men. A patriarchy. No, I don't mean to cut you. We watched you at the Rainforest Cafe and it was a good time,

Ted. Oh, God. I'm sorry. Were you speaking to me and then I was totally ignoring you? No one let a... I want to go. It's okay. There's one in Ontario, California? Well, I don't want to go with you now. Yeah, he's a big meanie. Hey, Ted. Can you come to my defense right now? Wait, who's co-host?

That's the one I want to know. Yeah, who's... We are co-hosts of each other. That's very healthy. That's how that works. When you say you're my co-host, that means you're in charge. Right?

No. No? What? Well, if you're speaking about yourself, then the other person would be your co-host. My co-host. As in, like, you are both hosts. We're both in charge. Yeah. We are each other's co-hosts.

Yes. That would be more appropriate. I feel like there needs to be a different word for, like, a main host and a... What, am I additional host? No, my partner. My side host. My partner. There like a main host and what am i additional host no my partner my side my post there is no main host yeah on the spot guys there is no main host we're all co-hosts and i think they're the three main and i'm the co-host how do you split the revenue uh evenly between those three okay that's not true oh my god i'm i swear to god i'm gonna

one of the one of the best parts one of the best parts about this is that like they're joking That's not true. Oh, my God. I swear to God. I'm going to. One of the best parts about this is that they're joking, but also people will still take it seriously, and then I'll get fucking canceled. No, but they're joking. You take the people. They're not even serious on Twitter. They're having fun on Twitter. They are going to firebomb my house after this.

I'll be honest. I follow just the funny Twitter members of HaasTwit. Okay? No, HaasTwitter won't. It's never HaasTwitter that fucking canceled me. It's never my fans that canceled me. It's like random people that will take a snippet of a clip of someone being sarcastic and be like,

clearly this guy's enslaving Cutie Cinderella and Austin Show. A woman and a gay man. Cause he hates both of those, you know, demographics. He did. It's part of our contract. We can't bring that up.

That's true. Very true. We, um, Oh, Oh, are you a bit of a slut while you're in town? Are you getting tricked out down podcast lane?

Okay. Going up and down, hollering at the boys. I'm a slut on podcasts. That's what I said. And you were offended when I called you a slut. Which pockets are you being, are you appearing on? I'm being, I'm being whored out on chuckle sandwich.

Fear and is that what this is called? Yes. Okay. And then the yard. It's weird that you knew that one so well and you struggled with ours so much. Yeah. Well, this is a new one, you know? No, man.

We're doing better numbers than The Yard, I think. Cutie, I'm not kidding you. It depends on the country. We could do a 10 million view episode and you would still be like, we're not doing as well as The Yard. We're not doing as well as The Yard. The Yard has 30,000 patrons

and we had one better episode than them. You're going to call that? Don't they make like 200 grand? Is this what you guys, you streamer folk do among you? You just compare each other. I'll be honest. It doesn't matter what the fuck we talk about.

If you guys are in the header, we're going to do half the episode. Let's just be quiet for the rest of the episode. Yeah. Yeah, Thunders is going to get a picture of me. Kissing. Did you guys kiss for The Thunders? No. Drama. No. No, we actually don't like each other once the cameras come off. Dramas.

No, we actually don't like each other once the cameras come off. Yeah, it was really weird. They were yelling at each other when they first came in. We'll record on Discord. And then right when the cameras go off, we're like, so you want a game? This is a question I ask him. And then I'm like, yeah, I'd love to, but I'm busy now, so I got to go. But let's do it next time. And it never happens.

That's really sad. That's bumming me out. Whoa. Dude, why don't you ask him the game again? I started jumping sandwiches as a means to stay in contact with this motherfucker and the other one that left us now. It's sad. I find it.

This is a lot. How's it going? 33% failure so far yeah 33 failure so far and uh this one is uh airing out the fact that our relationship is falling apart thank you for that by the way oh my god we are so putting that on the fucking on the fucking title. Yeah, you just made the title. We made it, Chuck. There's your thumbnail. This is how they make YouTube millions, dude.

This is how it works. Fuck, what was I going to say? Oh, yeah, well, at least you, you know, you get to see him for a week. That's true. That's true. I love Chuck a week.

Listen, you could be the type of person that says... I do like Chuck a week. I get to hang out with him. You could be the type of person that says, I do like Chuckle Week. I get to hang out with him. You could be the type of person that says, like, hey, loved playing basketball with you. Can't wait to do it again. And then...

Yeah. Yeah. Keep going. Can't wait to do it with you again. And then literally avoid me like the fucking plague. You say that as if you've been reaching out. I did when I stopped. Hassan does this thing. I did. I used to out. I did when I stopped. Hassan does this thing.

I did. I used to reach out and then I stopped. Hassan? Because you didn't come last time I asked you. Yeah, it was one thing and I was busy. Yeah. And then. This is so awkward. That's a microphone. I would hate to be either of you two. You're a devious little character, aren't you? You seem

to get joy out of you're like kind of like there's something teetering along like about to go down a hill and you're like go roll down the hill is this some kind of like stockholm thing because you've been given the shitty microphone and you seem perfectly happy with this and then i'm obviously like i should have been given something i was gonna take the other one, but they don't trust me with it. Yeah, we can't trust him with this. I think as a woman, I'm used to dealing with less and accepting it. I mean, you can give him this microphone.

I can give you this microphone, and I'll use that one. It's like 70% of the rest of the other microphones. He gets it. You get it now. You can shove it up your ass if you want. We did this because we did this because we hate women and actually this is probably a really

good opportunity to bring this up now that we talked about how we hate women it's time for our women hour please cutie Cinderella please cutie Cinderella enlighten us about what's going on in the latest and greatest in the land of women Hayley Bieber and Selena Gomez do you guys women. Hailey Bieber and Selena Gomez.

Do you guys know that Hailey Bieber and Selena Gomez? Take it over. What does the family know? Shay gave me a little bit of info on the topic. What I understand thus far is that it's on one side in Selena Gomez. And then on the other side, you got Hailey Bieber and Kylie Jenner, and they're like a little, they're doing their thing, and they're like, oh, we don't like Selena Gomez, and Selena Gomez is like, oh, guys, please help me, my fans, but I would

never, I don't know. No, she did not teach me. I heard Hailey Bieber. You're a pig. I heard Selena Gomez, guys. What did you scream about? I said, you're a pig. I heard Hailey Bieber was fucking Selena Gomez.

No. Interesting. No. That's... What are you screaming about? I said you're a pig. I heard Hailey Bieber was fucking Selena Gomez. No. Interesting. How are you not even remotely involved in the fucking goss? You are the worst gay man in America. I only know Selena Gomez from that show on Disney. Yeah, she did good. She did good on that.

Yeah. Okay. So what's the drama? So here's the tea. Marsh, if you'll pull up start. We have a PowerPoint. let me give no we have we have tiktoks is what we have oh it's just a little more we don't have a powerpoint we have a tiktok um however there's something that you should know is this all started because all this stuff got brought up and there's some closure now they follow each other again apparently it's fine well spoiler alert i know i know but i just need you to

go we're not witch hunting skip this this is not a witch hunting podcast i'm just filling everyone in on the goss um so this all happened because you know what let's just push start just do the start one i guess also okay um because that's how my brain works uh quick question there i saw multiple three minute tiktoks well i know we won't watch all of them i just mostly needed them as reminders That's how my brain works. Quick question. I saw multiple three-minute TikToks. Well, I know. We won't watch all of them. I just mostly needed them as reminders. So I'll probably play them and then...

What's going on? This is important. We're going to watch this one. It's a minute. It's a minute. Is that titty milk? No. Give me a dip.

Give me a dip. Oh, sorry. Yes, it is titty milk. Give it to me. What is this? Is this the caffeine one? Or is this the one without? Yeah, it's the caffeinated one.

The non-caf one has this cool black and white design. It's not very cool, the black and white design. I like caffeine. Excuse me, it's manga inspired. I like the color one more. Okay. And I'm going to, what is this? How many calories is this in one?

That scoop will be about 100 milligrams of all-natural caffeine, Hassan. That's a lot. Snort it. There you go. He's going to start getting the shakes after that. Thank you. You sound like a champ. If you put it in water...

I'm going to get better at this. You sound like a champ. If you put it in water, I made them put some kind of extract in it. No idea what the fuck it is. They have some material in here that makes it cloudy when it's in water. So it looks like... Is that the mercury? It could be the mercury. Is it healthy? I'm told.

Brad would ground things. How could you be doing this? What will happen? This is it, buddy. This is the end of the mercury. Is it healthy? I'm told. Breadwinner can ground things. How could you be doing this? What will happen to me? This is it, buddy. This is the end of the line. Why are there... There's no... Oh, there's women on here,

but it's male titty milk. Oh, wow. I don't know if you know this, but Jay Schlatt is a man. The water is supposed to turn into a cum-like subsistency it it looks like you're drinking cum and that's the joke i love it but i said to gamer sups um i said like hey would it be too far if we called this flavor cum and they said don't dump it in there there's not enough but titty milk was fine how many ounces yeah titty milk is fine because you can still push the envelope.

But if you start with cum, where are you going to go after that? We're talking 33. 33? Okay, then that's four scoops. Wait, I just had fucking literally one entire... Oh, dude, am I going to die? Yeah, don't drink this. It's just for advertisement purposes.

I will tell you how I'm feeling. I'll fill you in on how I feel. Alright. As time progresses. Do you have some catchphrases that you say before you shake it up?

No. I'm so hot. And it's not the titty milk. I thought I'd slow down and make it seem like it's turning down. It's very sexual when you... You never stroke it slow. Wow. Wow, that is...

It's white with a little bit of yellow in it. Yeah, that's not very appetizing. If I... Oh, no. I don't like it. I don't like cream-flavored stuff. It's not cream-flavored. It's cone-flavored.

It's blue raspberry. Oh, how confusing for me. With a little bit of cream. I assumed it would taste like titty milk. Why do you know what titty milk tastes like? Well, I know what milk tastes like, and I assume they're of the same... This will taste like blue raspberry, mostly, with a little bit of... That is so interesting.

If you think about it, when you're like a... Well, this is redundant. When you're a kid... You're worried. You're worrying me right now. When you're a kid, you know, blue raspberry is like the best flavor ever. Especially in slushies and stuff. So I imagine that to a baby, a newborn, titty milk is kind of like the blue raspberry of flavors for them.

And that's our demographic. Babies. We love getting kids on copious amounts of caffeine. I already have some. I'm handing this back to you. Oh, thank you. Okay, well, now that we destroyed the women's hour,

we just need this. This minute is important, and this is the most I'm going to require for real focus. Wait, is Taylor Allison who's Taylor Allison Swift? That is Taylor Swift. Also, we need to talk about John Mayer a little bit. Apparently, he's

into poop. Ew. He's into poop. Ew. Yeah. He's into poop play. Ew. Are we sure about that? How do you feel about poop play? I don't really dabble.

I'm not surprised that John Mayer is into that, though. Really? What about his? Why not? The way he looks. He looks like a poop guy? Yeah. He asked his girlfriend to poop on a glass table while he laid underneath it.

A lot of red herrings. As the number one John Mayer defender until Cutie Cinderella allows me a ticket to the Taylor Swift box, I am going to say that's not true. No, it's true. I will defend him. Austin was my friend. Yeah, I saw him. He pooped on me.

No, you pooped on him. He likes the poop. Waited on him he likes the poop wait what that's i do he likes the poop oh yeah but i didn't like yeah he pooped on me but i don't like it what i did not like when you pooped on me john mayer likes the poop he wants you to poop on him yeah but i so you didn't want it so you are my friend that we pooped on each other okay okay i don't agree with anything. You know what? That story sounded rock solid to me.

We pooped on each other, and it was great. Wait, what? Now you like me? No, I didn't like it. So when he... It's definitely a special command of a balanced diet. When he famously sung, clads of sulfur in the air,

bombs are falling everywhere. Yes. In Heartbreak Warfare. He was talking about him and I. Did he sing that song, Your Body is a Wonderland? Oh, yeah. He was also talking about the process. He was describing my intestines.

Play the video. I want to move away from this subject as quickly as possible. Wait, wait, wait. Question before this starts, though. So was Hailey Bieber, Selena Gomez, or Kylie Jenner pooping on John Mayer? Was that? None of the people that are involved in this pooped on John Mayer. But maybe Katy Perry did.

And also, Judy Cinderella is a known liar when it comes to John Mayer-related information. Oh, in general. She's a Swiftie. I'm a pathological liar. Oh, in general. She's a Swiftie. I'm a pathological liar. Him and I both. She is a Swiftie. She's got a dog in this fight. We're master manipulators and pathological liars.

Yes. Do not believe a word that comes out of her mouth about John Mayer. John Mayer is a legend, an icon, and one of the world's greatest guitarists. So let's continue with this. Seeing a full-on war amongst the girlies and it's bigger than just Selena started after Selena Gomez was I can't hear move it back okay it all started no I can fill you in oh damn it play it Oh dial in everyone focus it seemingly started after Selena Gomez

was photographed by the paparazzi wearing a bathing suit and I don't think there's anything wrong with that she looks great Hailey Bieber though posts a TikTok Kendall essentially saying she deserves it God's timing is always right you know that sound clip

she takes it down insisting it has nothing to do with Selena Selena responds to fans saying did it has nothing to do with Selena. Selena responds to fans saying, Did it have something to do with Selena? Yeah. Wait, why would that have something to do with Selena? Wait. Okay, you have to remember. Wait, Straggett.

Oh my God. I gotta go make a John Mayer. You hear me? Fill me in later. Make a what? Oh, he's taking a shit. John Mayer wants to be pooped out?

I got it. Oh my lord. Are we cutting this part out? My life is falling apart. Okay. No, no, we don't cut anything except for all the things. Except for Jay Schlatt's real physical address. I mean, division.

I mean, going Jay Schlatt. I mean, that's correct. We call him Jay Schlatt. But it's too correct. It's like you're hyper fixated on like this specific thing. And it's like, it makes sense to only you for a particular reason. No, there's no reason. It's just like, I'm very bad with names.

So I overemphasize. I don't believe that. No, it's stuck in my head. That's why I always say cutie Cinderella. It's stuck in my head now as like what your name is. now when i say ted nivision he just calls me see i'm saying it right now right honestly it was even worse than the original problem i'm sorry you're changing the emphasis it's becoming like a French name, like Nivision. Nivision. Nivision.

I'm sorry. It's so bad. I know. It's like if I called you Hassan Abiy. Whatever. I don't want to give a shit. Hassan Abiy? Hassan Abiy.

When I meet his fans in public, I usually say, are you a Hassan Abiy head? And they're like, yes. I'm a bad guy. We need to go back to Q. Sorry. This is a podcast filled with misogyny. Filled to the brim. She's not worried. She's unbothered. She's so unbothered. Fast forward to

this week and Selena surpasses Kylie Jenner and is now the most followed woman on Instagram. Thank God. Thank God. Thank God. This feels like bias reporting. He said thank God. Yeah, because you're gonna learn why.

You're gonna learn why. No, there's no reason why that would be important. There's reasons. It's like from Newsmax or something. There's reasons. Okay. She over laminated her brows.

It was just playful, right? Whatever. Not long after, Kylie Jenner posts this screenshot to her story. Making fun of her again. Essentially her and Hailey Bieber showing each other their brows in an obvious attempt to mock Selena. It's giving very much mean girl behavior is that wait if it's three against one okay oh i mean when you frame it like this is a bit on the nose okay no yes it is a bit on the nose um but rewind 2000 no no no not you mentally rewind to what 2016 whoa whoa what the fuck we are time traveling back what is this a reservoir

dogs what the fuck's going on we're in 2016 that might not be the right year well you got to be like you're probably wondering how i got here um but anyway um so justin and hayley are like back and forth all the time put the fucking phone down pay attention to me yes justin and Haley are like back and forth all the time. Put the fucking phone down. Pay attention to me. Yes. Justin and Haley are back and forth, right? They have their pretty toxic relationship. And then.

Is this when they went to buy crack? No. Do you know about that? No. You don't know about Justin Bieber and, and, and allegedly Selena Gomez buying crack cocaine? A lot of talking over women. Yeah, but if they like it, if they like it, they can do it. This is a misogyny podcast. Wait, what? Did you but if they like it if they like it they can do it massage your pockets wait what did you just say if it makes them happy they can do it why would

we stop them okay that's fair taking away happiness number one anyway so they're on like a break and Kylie and Kendall swoop in and they're like they're like hey girly let's go to Dubai and Selena's like okay they want to be my friends. They take him to Dubai. Meanwhile, Hailey Baldwin sneaks on in and starts hooking up with Justin. Oh, shit. They took her out. Before Bieber, her name was Baldwin.

Rewind even further. Hailey Baldwin is like 10 years old. She's the biggest Justin stan in the world. She has magazines of him. She'd find out through fan accounts what hotels he he was staying at and she'd go and hover and she'd bring her uncle like introduce what a success okay counterpoint let's say taylor you you have an opportunity he'll go with taylor swift do you take it no i would hook that with taylor for a pathological liar you're very bad at lying on the spot. I would hook up with Taylor Swift.

Okay, congratulations. We're talking to the stand here. I know, but I'm not attracted to women most of the time. Well, yes, of course I would, but she's taking it further, right? Like, by hovering, I would never hover. I would never stalk Taylor. It kind of seems like Haley Baldwin at the time took the initiative and succeeded. You like a stock? No, I don't.

That's what I thought. I'm just trying to be contrarian. That's what I thought. You can't be contrarian. No, I don't care about Haley Baldwin. This whole situation feels like it very much so diminishes Justin Bieber's agency in this entire situation. Men's rights. let's go. We don't care about him.

So is he, he is simply a... No, we don't like him. Ted, he's rich and white. Get over it. We don't like Ted. We don't like Ted or Justin Bieber. We don't, what? He's rich, white, and a man, okay?

It's like the trifecta of we don't give a fuck. Anyway, so she was a big fan, would hover, hover, hover. Just like you, Ted. And then, yeah, she's just a creepy, stalky girl. trifecta anyway fuck so she was a big fan would hover hover hover just like you ted and then yeah she's just a creepy stocky girl but then but then all of these years selena moves on are you guys paying attention what did i just say we're all i'm honestly paying like like i am locked i'm okay thank you thank you i'm talking to ted selena moves on right she's doing her own thing. She has her own business. Meanwhile, Haley Bieber gets married to Justin, right?

And she gets little secret, like she matching tattoos with Selena. Selena has a J behind her ear for her little sister. And then all of a sudden, Haley gets a little J tattooed on her. And Selena starts a cooking show and it's about her life. And then, and it was during COVID and it was in her kitchen and she was like this is my home this is my kitchen and then hayley bieber also starts a cooking show wow yeah so the last piece of evidence that is important for you to watch is i need you to go to underneath where i put sample why would she feel like she needs to continue to compete with Selena if she's already got...

What do you mean? Because she will never... She will... Here, I can fill in on this one. Judy, Judy, review... Judy, review my analysis of the situation, please, and see if I'm an ally to women in general. Justin Bieber and

Selena Gomez had something that was real. It was stolen from them by these two harlots. I mean, Justin was a problem. He like cheated on Justin's a bad guy. Justin's a bad guy. He's a bad guy, but he's yeah. All men are trash. All men are trash.

Selena wouldn't be with him anyway, for the record. It's just weird that Haley is like obsessed with Selena, even though like, Selena's like not interested. She's fine. Okay. So I was wrong. I was so wrong.in cheated on her yeah justin was awful he was like he's like 17 he is an awful 17 year old yeah but that's like i don't i don't i don't agree with that assessment he like still cheats on hayley does he really how do you know that he was in a concert he was at a concert

in like australia or new zealand or something and there's like really yeah there's videos of him like this is pre-frontal dunkirk how old is he yeah, there's videos of him. This is pre-Frontal Dunkirk? How old is he? I don't know how old he is. This is recent. This is like within the past few years. How do you know this? TikTok sees everything.

Fuck. Okay, watch this. Yeah, TikTok is never unhinged. This is only 24 seconds. Okay. Haley Bieber needs help. Everything that we're doing is at home. This is my amazing kitchen, which is the set.

We actually are in my real kitchen in my real house. This is not a set. This is where I really live. This is my papa. Hi, JJ. This is my nether roof. Wow. What is her problem? So Selena did this first

There's multiple instances Where Haley copied Selena's responses to interviews She's copied her outfits She's copied her tattoos All sorts of weird stuff Can I add something really quickly though? Yes Devil's advocate

Uh huh You ever heard of a cold read? Uh nope It's a term that applies to psychics right if you come into me and i say i'm a psychic i can go ah yes you're dealing with some trauma in your life and you go oh my god well now i know you're lying but um so this this idea is that you can say general things about people and they can relate to it. I think the same is true with entertainment right now. We all do very general shit, right? We're all doing, don't laugh, don't lose. We're all making the same faces. Do the thumbnail face, Ted.

There you go. Why? Because we don't really have any talent. Now, Selena can sing. I don't think Hayley has any talent, but when it comes to that world outside of singing, I'm sure that a producer is trying to put them in very similar things. So two cooking shows in an era when everyone is making a cooking show and generic media trained responses to interviews, you could probably cut anyone's interview and get some pretty similar answers. Then why did Hailey Bieber copy Selena's tattoo in the same location? Well, that's a very popular location for a tattoo. That's true. The same letter, the same font, the same location. Listen, this is just Apple's Advocate.

I don't believe these things. I don't believe these things. Normally, one part of my brain says Will is actually... You want the rest of it? It's the last one. The cookies were fantastic, by the way. The cookies were incredible. The logical part of my brain says what Will is saying is absolutely correct.

But given that I need to appear as an ally here, I'm going to go ahead and say he's a selfish pig. I said devil's advocate. This is for the sake of conversation. Someone's got to take the reins on this podcast. Even the fact that you would think those thoughts is unimaginable to me. I mean, when you play the devil's advocate, that does mean that you are communing with the devil. Yeah.

You're an advocate for misogyny, fucking pig. I do like that. People like cis men together, Ted. I do like that. You sold me up the river, huh? I do like that we have become just like basically hostages

to the most unhinged people on the internet. That's sort of how I feel right now. Well, I'm fucking around. This is good drama. Continuing Women's Hour, there's something I'd like to speak about. Something that just happened. A Warshack test for the entire

country. Did you find my underwear somewhere? Yes. Now, I'm talking about LSU versus Iowa. Women's March Madness, folks. Now, usually, we don't talk about women's March Madness, but this March Madness, this Women's March Madness, has drawn the eyes of the entire country because there are some phenomenal athletes,

two of which, Angel Reese on LSU, Kaitlyn Clark on Iowa. Now, this game, highest rated. The ticket sales through the roof. The finals, LSU beats Iowa. The end, Angel Reese does Kait Caitlin Clark's iconic John Cena celebration. But she does it for 15 seconds. So you have Caitlin Clark's iconic celebration,

John Cena don't see me, which she does like this. Angel Reese does the same thing, but she tracks her down and does it for 15 seconds now it's become an issue of race wait some people think some people think that angel reese's don't see me was tasteless because of the length of how long she did it and that she did at the end of the game and that she tracked caitlin clark down assuming is caitlin clark white caitlin clark is white it is white. It is Iowa. It is Iowa. So now we have a Warshack test.

The entire nation sounding off on Twitter right now as we speak. Was Angel Ray tasteless? Can we see it? Was she emulating the celebration? I think she was being a gamer. I don't think she... Isn't that just like taunting? You were just on the toilet and you were on Twitter.

No, I've been following this since I was on the plane. Yeah, I watched him. He was yelling on the plane. I thought this was like... There it is, ladies and gentlemen. Divert your attention. I have the reins now. I'm turning this back into a podcast.

Here you go. Now, let's see. She points to the finger. That's her celebration, which is dank. I love that celebration. What is that supposed to mean? Championship ring on my finger. That's it?

No, that's not it. So that is truncated. I think the total time of her following Caitlyn Clark was said to be around 15 seconds. Who said this was a race thing? Everybody on Twitter. Wait, I don't understand. What would race have to do with it?

Okay, because people, America loves Caitlyn Clark right now. And she's white? Yes. Kaitlyn Clark arguably is, at this point, the greatest college basketball player, greatest women's college basketball player in history. Pause, pause, pause, pause.

Kaitlyn Clark set the three-point record, scoring record for NCAA, and assist record in this tournament. Okay. So she's like America's sweetheart right now. Their celebration. Angel Reese is like another fantastic player. It's just so cringe to steal your celebration from John Cena, but that's fine.

What's wrong with John Cena? It's just weird to steal someone else's thing. Who did the first? What? Who did the first John Cena? So I guess. John Cena did it. Yeah.

John Cena. So why is she doing it? In this situation. Kaylin Clark. I assume Kaylin Clark used to do it all the time. People, the difference is, Kaitlyn Clark did it as she was passing her bench once. Angel Reese, if you watch the tape,

found Kaitlyn Clark after the game. She's doing it to rub it in her face. And she had won the game? Now, we'll time it. 15 seconds. Did she win the final? Three, four, five, six, seven. Did she win the final?

I think it was eight. She won? Yeah. Then you're just throwing it back in her face. I don't see any. See, that's a lot of people's take. That's my take. That's a lot of people's take, too.

15 seconds is a long time but I think it's better than punching her in the face because she hates Well punching someone in the face is nothing like talking trash. Well I know that's

why this is better than getting mad. But she won. I think that there's also like. I mean she's just a bad winner. There's a certain

level of consideration that needs to be given to just sportsman like conduct and I think that's like a valid sort of. of the conversation. But she was doing Kaitlyn Clark's own thing back to her. I still don't understand what Rachel has to do with this.

As in like, you know, you can celebrate your win. But to be fair, Kaitlyn Clark had the most points in NCAA history, had 30 points in this game. Who cares? She still lost, though. And outscored Angel Reese. I'm just giving you all the information. Yeah, I think it's ridiculous, but also incredibly expected that people would turn this

into, like, a much bigger issue because people can't. Speaking of David Portnoy, won't bite everybody's nose rules, his tweet after this game was, Angel Reese, total tasteless piece of shit. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I love the idea of, like, Dave Portn shit. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I love the idea of Dave Portnoy, who is just not a very tasteful person in general,

being the arbiter of what is classy and what's not classy, like the guy who does the pizza reviews for Barstool, who owns Barstool. I think Angel Reese was being a bit mother. What's that mean? She's slaying. It's when women do stuff that you would consider to be unkind,

but like the gays and other women go, it's awesome. Has taunted Angel Reese that same way and now Angel Reese just beat her. She didn't. Oh, she didn't? No. Oh.

It still doesn't matter. I think it's classless and tasteless and she should be ashamed of herself. Oh, hot take. I don't think it It's like, I think it's classless and tasteless and she should be ashamed of herself. Oh, I take, I don't think it's that bad. I think it's ridiculous. These are like fucking young ass athletes.

Like who cares? Yeah. Hey, no, let me, let me, before I get attacked, I don't care.

Yeah. Yeah. But, but like if she does that, who cares? It's a sport. It's fun. Well, can I give my take?

What? My take is I'm just happy for women's basketball. Me too. Because I'm happy to see everybody talking about women's basketball. I don't think anybody should detract from Angel Reese or LSU's victory. It was incredible. I think Angel Reese is a phenomenal athlete. The refs were a little rough.

The refs were a little rough. Agreed. I will give it that. But it's interesting that this has become such a Warshak test for the nation. Is this different than this? It's interesting that you say that, Will. I think that Angel Reese is a phenomenal athlete, and what she did was incredible.

I think it's just a little, you know, sometimes you're a bad winner, and you get a little salty. Yeah, I've done it before. And you want to throw it back in their face. Whatever. I've done it before. Sometimes you're a bad winner. We've all little salty yeah i've done it before face whatever i've done it before sometimes we've all been there yes would you expand upon the race aspect of this the race aspect of it okay so a lot of people are asserting that the only reason that people on the internet had issues with angel reese's talk was that she was a black athlete oh and cait was a white athlete. Oh, when you're saying it's the second spent doing it.

I thought it was because, I thought it was like the reverse, like she was doing it because she... Yeah, I didn't understand it all the way. No, so that's like the racial element. Oh, that's lame. And I'm going to be honest, a lot of people on Twitter,

what they're saying, it's very racial. Really? Oh, yes. That's like... Well, then fuck those people there you go i feel like that's something that's been seen before in other sports too um because there was like this whole thing where there was this um guy in track who was like a white dude that was

setting records or whatever in like the hundred meter his name was oscar pistorius no i'm kidding dude and there was like this whole thing where they were like calling him like white lightning stuff like that yeah oh that's okay that's weird oh no and like i don't know i think that like when when there's like a situation where someone who is like white is is doing like better in one in a like a sport or something that there are a lot of representation of like like black Americans doing well. And when that when there's people who can latch on to that one individual person, they get like weirdly like in a racial way like defensive of that person and so like with the white lighting they're just like oh this guy can like run and that's like like evidence of something yeah i think in a similar way with the we're bringing the watts back well

in a big way like oh they're probably being a little bit over defensive of this kaylin woman because they're like oh she's good at basketball. Like, this is our person. And I think you hit the nail on the head. That's the most fascinating part, is that this is just athletes playing basketball. I don't even, I doubt Caitlyn Clark even has an issue with. I mean, she's probably a little salty.

She's probably a little salty. Or should we? She doesn't want, like want famous figures going to the internet calling her competitor a piece of shit. No. She definitely didn't call for this. So ultimately, this becomes a sounding board for so many things outside of basketball and athletics,

and that's kind of fascinating to me. It is interesting how a lot of times in sports and just entertainment worlds in general, a lot of times in sports and just like entertainment worlds in general, a lot of like moments that are otherwise probably not thought about too deeply are like co-opted by voices online. Weird race perverts. I will say this, though. The one thing I liken it to. I didn't hear what you said, so I was like.

The race perverts. The one thing I liken it to, just devil's advocate. 15 seconds, right? I liken it to, just devil's advocate. Uh-oh. 15 seconds, right? I liken it to a car horn. One second of a car horn, I go, hey, asshole. 15 seconds is a long time. 15 seconds of a car horn, I go, I might get out of my car and try and kill that person.

You would, too. Yes. Have you done that before? Now, this is not the same thing. This is not the same thing. That's an interesting. I like that analogy. The people who aren't terrible racists in this matter,

do they have a point? Is 15 seconds of facing too long? I mean... She was being a sore winner, but who cares? It's tough because... Hasan, you could not be more disinterested with this topic. No, because... You gave that entire statement through a sigh.

Why? Because I think that... I think that women's basketball for, for how, because no, I think the way that people in general, this includes women as well, treat women's basketball is so fucked up where like the only time they ever want to talk about it is if there's like additional qualifiers that make it more interesting for them they were talking about this game yeah no this is i know i know which is why i think it's like it tarnishes and otherwise like uh basketball i do not and but

my point is i don't even watch men's basketball all that much really i don't watch a lot of sports i watch anime listen my point is this this is like a unique moment it's historic a lot of sports. I watch anime. Listen, my point is this. This is like a unique moment. It's historic. A lot of people are watching. A lot of people are entertained. A lot of people are interested. That moment, the winning team, you know, this person behaves like a sore winner.

Who cares? In the grand scheme of things, ultimately, the event should not be overshadowed by this other thing, but it doesn't matter because most people don't give a shit about the original event or its significance on its own, so they have to make it about a secondary thing always, especially as it pertains to women's sports.

And that's why it became such a Rorschach test. Yeah. Because ultimately there is no correct length for celebration. And celebration is just good for athletics. I go back and I watch documentaries about the U, and I miss the era where you could just fucking go off in the end zone. I agree with that, yeah. I'm talking about line dancing.

I'm talking about spikes. I'm talking about pulling out a cell phone, calling your nana, and letting her know you just won the national title game. Who would you call if you won a national title game, Shlap? Grandma. What? You're giving me nothing, kid. Are we talking about Oscar Pistorius?

Yeah. Is that who they called White Lightning? Yeah, that's who they called. They called him Blade Runner. Oh, Blade Runner. Yeah. He was a killer on the track. What are you saying? Yeah. And off, too. Yeah. He was a killer on the track. What are you saying?

And off too. I have to go to book club. Anyway, on that note, speaking of killing content, QD has the leaves. I have to go to book club. I told them ahead of time. I told you guys a week in advance.

I know. That's why we don't pay her. Yeah. Well, also because she's a woman and he's gay. Actually, he'd like it. It's called Feeding Dictators I read a whole chapter

about Fidel Castro's private chef see the you stream this Cuba yeah what's your private chef like Hassan

this is not content my private chef is great good for you Chipotle good for you for having healthy social activities my private chef

I also went on a hike with a hiking group this morning I'm doing really well good for you well great healthy social activities. My private chef. I also went on a hike with a hiking group this morning. I'm doing really well. Good for you. Yeah. Well, great.

Thank you so much, Cutie Cinderella, for coming on. You didn't invite me to basketball either. Yeah, that's for sure. I did not do that. You are correct. I have to go, though. Are you guys still going on? Yes.

We're going to move on to the paywall proportion you already know. Before you leave, Cutie, where can people find you? Austin, everybody, you know everybody shout your channels and everything else. I'm on Cutie Cinderella on Twitch.tv and Hasan did fulfill his one raid fulfillment this week and he raided me yesterday. I am Austin on Twitter. That is my main Twitter account, not my alt.

And this is Ted Nivision. Oh, hey, what's up? I'm Ted Nivison. Ted Nivison on Twitter and everywhere else. Ted Nivision. Oh, hey, what's up? I'm Ted Nivison. Ted Nivison on Twitter and everywhere else. Ted Nivison. And that's... Hey, I'm Will Neff, and you gotta drink tit milk. Why? Because it's delicious.

Do you like raspberries? Of course you do. Do you want to add some blueberries? Blue raspberries. Blue raspberries. Do you want to add some milk to them? Fuck yeah, you do. Do you like anime bitches?

Of course. Order it now. FamousSubs.gg. And that's Jay Schlatt. Where can they find you, Jay Schlatt? Twitch.tv slash Will Neff, baby. And what's that, YouTube? Same name.

Neff on YouTube as well. I feel like I didn't participate enough to earn a shout out. Hey, and that's Hasan. Brother, you already know we're putting you all over the fucking SEO. You know what I'm saying? I just hope everyone wasn't like, oh, you got Schlatt on.

He didn't, he didn't say anything. Well, don't worry. We already, we have it on again. We have a second component. The podcast is not over,

obviously. So behind the paywall, Schlatt's going to say everything. Yep. And I'm just going to call me the F slur. And you know what? At the end of it, I'm just going to say,

Hey guys, I was just playing devil's advocate. That's all to call me the F-slur. At the end of it, I'm just going to say, hey guys, I was just playing devil's advocate. That's all that was. That always works. If you want to check the bonus content and the paywalled episodes, all you need to do is go to patreon.com slash fearan

and we'll see you behind the paywall. Yeah, man! Finally. What do you mean? It's very important. Wait, I'm sorry. America's a secular nation last time I checked and even though it was founded by puritanical Calvinists

ultimately I think we've moved beyond that so I think that immorality or the Christian understanding of immorality has nothing to do with drunk driving, which is an otherwise fun activity that everyone should engage in. Responsibly, of course. I'd love to have you on the show. I'd love to be trained by you.

Sure. I think that there's nothing else that Hassan has wanted in his life than to argue the wrong thing. No, I love it. I love doing it.