Fear& - QTCINDERELLA SAVES A LIFE! | Fear&

Episode Date: May 26, 2025

Onion gate is real, drop a comment below and let us know who's side youre on. Okay thanks for watching good bye love you :) ✨EXTRA BONUS EPISODES ON PATREON✨ Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/FearAnd 🎧 AUDIO PLATFORMS 🎧 🔊https://linktr.ee/fearand ❤️ follow Fear&! ❤️ Hasan: https://twitter.com/Hasanthehun Will: https://twitter.com/TheWillNeff QT: https://twitter.com/QTCinderella Austin: https://twitter.com/Austinontwitter Marche: https://twitter.com/Marche Fear&: https://twitter.com/FearAndPod Chapters - 00:00:00 - will this lease go through chat?! 00:03:21 - austin show was petty for the first time 00:06:00 - are gingers black? 00:07:03 - powerline popcorn bucket reveal 00:09:04 - youtubers emmy nominated 00:12:20 - shoppppifffffyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yeah! 00:13:20 - how to bribe a youtube partner manager 00:14:59 - swift got into the onions 00: 19:43 - thats way too many onions 00:21:30 - its time to induce vomitting 00:25:29 - shes a chef! (literally cutting onions 00:27:49 - THERE IS LITERALLY NO WAY IT HAD THAT MUCH ONION 00:30:51 - 1 said to panic, 1 said not to panic 00:33:00 - lets put this into human terms 00:34:57 - "the dopest meal of his life" 00:37:02 - i am all of a sudden on QTs side 00:41:30 - austins inner demon needs to be summoned 00:45:20 - it's been over 30 minutes on this topic 00:47:50 - we're drafting a letter of litigation 00:49:17 - willneff grew up on a farm 00:54:02 - three weeks with will's mother 00:56:46 - hasans welcome to america moment 00:59:05 - jojo update / frankie valley 01:02:54 - we are all so out of touch #hasanabi #qtcinderella #podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Instacart. Groceries that over-deliver. Do you think your Mongolian people had this much onion in it? Yes, it did, Hassan. You are on crack cocaine.? Yes, it did Hasan! You are on a f***ing crack cocaine! Hasan, it did! I know it's Trump's America, but the beef tax is not that bad that it's mostly onion in your f***ing Mongolian... It is!

Oh, that religion... Shat! Look at the bowl! I'm gonna be a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a

little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a Have you moved to LA yet? No, not yet. No, you fucking haven't. Hold on, chill. And if you don't move by pride, we're turning our backs on you. I'm signing a lease tomorrow. I'll talk to both of them. Wait, what?

Yes, we've talked. Wait, what do you mean? I mean, I'm always- We're turning our back on our gay side. Wait, no, wait, I'm always on board. This is an intervention. The contract. This is an intervention.

Hold on, wait, let me show you the- Who have you been lied to before? No, the contract is in my- I don't wanna see it! No, look, look, it's in- Look what you're doing to your sister. It's I'm sorry. Hello. Can I do the intro? No, no, it's my turn Cuties too busy to care. This is my nine to five Got she doesn't have this strength energy. This is hosted by Austin show Will Neff and Hassan Piker is his real last name. Not a hobby.

Why did you? Oh, okay. There was a question mark at the end of that pipe. Right? Wait, do you guys think this is a ruse and I'm not actually going to move to Los Angeles? Austin? Yes. Austin?

There are kids that have grown up and gone to college. Sure. In the time that you've said you've moved. People have died moved people have died Yeah, people have died. Yeah, you know specifically people in Congress actually Oh, yeah, six of them over the course of a year and the Pope lost a pope. We lost a pope dude You killed the Pope we've been through I think you know what come to think of it I've been doing this thing for a few years. We've been through like three presidents. Yeah, I'm just saying that

We've been through like three presidents. Yeah. I'm just saying that either pride will be a celebration. Okay. That you've moved to LA or it will be the hardest shunning I've ever shunned in my entire life. How about this, how about this, how about this? We won't participate in a single gay event with you during the month of pride

if you don't fucking move to Los Angeles. I'm signing. I won't act any differently. Okay, thank you. Which means she's gonna do the same thing as us. Look, I will be signing a lease tomorrow and I'll be wiring the money on Tuesday and I will send you the wire receipt. Thank you. And then I will show you the signed lease. Thank you. And then it will be official and we can celebrate at Pride. Yes. I will suck your cock.

Thank you. I will not be here. In the middle of the, yeah. If not, you have to go to Pride with a Trump hat on. Totally, deal. Hold on, wait. Real quick, real quick. If force majeure comes in here and for some reason

the rental burns to the ground. No. Or something like that. No, there is no force majeure. No, force majeure. What reason the rental burns to the ground. No. Or something like that. There is no force majeure. No force majeure. What if the rental explodes? No. No. No. Even if the rental explodes you still have to work. No, no, no. What if the rental, I don't know, something happens. I want to let you guys fucking know something. Okay. I negotiated the ever-loving fuck out of this guy. I'm gonna tell you about it. All right. I was petty as shit on this place. Okay. All right. They, this this landlord told me

that I was gonna be responsible for their fucking appliances if they broke. Whoa. Okay. I was gonna be responsible for the pool and gardener. No. Right? How dare he? I was gonna be responsible for pest control, okay? And the thing that really pissed me off, the peak level of pettiness, is I was gonna be responsible for the fucking light bulbs.

No. Yeah, so get me, get this. Wait, that's so horrible. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Will, this is where you're wrong. They caved on everything, but they challenged me on the light bulbs, okay? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no are on your team. Five bucks. You know, well, listen to me here is the principle.

This is what I said. I went to them and I said, look, I'll pay for the light bulbs. Right. All right. Yeah. Okay. But every single light bulb in the house from the kitchen to the stairs to the, to every part of the house, those light bulbs need to be brand new and you need to verify that they're brand new. And I went to them. I don't know. They came and they said, you're not responsible for the light bulb. They're not going to change the light bulbs. They're just going to be like, whatever. No, I didn't say they had to. I said only if I was going to be responsible. One time where his white hat Karen behavior, I actually I'm on board because landlords are historically the worst. Yes. That's it. Thank you. This behavior that's made no, no,

they started it with the pettiness. And so I went after him and I got every fucking cent. I'm proud of you. And we're going to celebrate next pride special pride episode. Everybody. Yay. Yes. Yeah, I guess I don't know how it's gonna work cuz I'm gonna be in Texas next weekend for dream con Surprise Yeah, what the fuck what the fuck Dream con dream con is already he's always doing shit already see worlds premiere convention. I did it last year Yeah, but We got kicked invited back for some reason, because he had assists. I'm the only white boy with swag that is allowed. Only white man. No, there's a, there's another, I mean,

he is now that I'm officially black. Oh yeah. Is that true? That's a point of contention for and, and well, I'm just saying that's the, that's the matter. Eraser. That's the meta that is ongoing on which is our ginger is black. The answer is no. What following if you want me to expand on it is fuck. No, but go ahead. Okay. I don't know if you had to add the expletive Okay. Well here let's do you want to bring up a tic-tac on this? No, no, no You want to make your case on your own? I think it's just you weren't here. He wasn't here when we covered this We already covered it when you were yeah. No, no, it's fine. I was you did. Yeah, we covered it when you weren't here when you Unceremoniously just didn't show up. Yep to the podcast. You mean when I was just, yeah, we covered it when you weren't here when you unceremoniously just didn't show up to the podcast.

You mean when I was in France? Yeah, selfishly. Yeah. You left us to record on our own without you. Disgusting, really. So we discussed race. Yeah, that's right. Actually quite extensively. We did. We went into great detail. We also garnished your wages.

Yes. Ooh, I didn't know that. By the way, your wages. Yes. Ooh, I know that. By the way, Cutie has gifts for me. Only for Will. Oh my God, that's okay. I'm totally okay with that. She brought you light bulbs. Yeah. But he wanted.

Oh my God, it says display on it. It was the last one. Why did they write that? That ruins it. I don't know. It does not ruin it. No, I know it doesn't, but like they could just put it on display. You can get out with rubbing alcohol.

They didn't put any popcorn in it. This is fire. I'm gonna wear this like a purse. You could even, I think you could like switch it out for gold chains. Which is gold. Because it just plugs in. That's brilliant.

So you could get a custom custom chain Yeah, I think and then I Was at air one and will wanted a country drink. Yes. I want to try it now. What am I drinking here? I don't know. It was blue blue pearl I said that looks country. It looks like the blue milk from Star Wars You're gonna try it? You shake it first, I think. Oh, you've been to Erewhon.

No, but I just assume that something that looks like that. I just don't think it should be blue. No, that tracks. I agree. They probably had to add some sort of coloring. Oh, they should. Is that oat milk? Almond.

Oh. And it's just blue milk. It's spirulina. Makes it blue or something. That oat milk almond oh It's Makes it blue or something Just blue milk. I'm gonna enjoy it. Can I try it? You it's maybe when you move down It's organic almond milk organic spread of almonds water Himalayan pink salt raw honey Toko

Actually Toko you know what it tastes like hold on you know this tastes like blue milk. No it tastes like a bread a Bread I kind of get that pearl powder whatever the fuck that is organic e3 live blue magic powder pink salt Blue magic powder yeah so blue magic powder. Yeah so for those of you at home You may have noticed we switched around the seating arrangement. I don't think they did all right no one cares, okay? Why did moving on I did you know where you were going with that? I was going nowhere with it. I was just trying to get some conversation flowing

It just looks good, but it looks it looks like like. I told you it looked, Conti. All right. It looks like it's definitely tastier than it actually is. I had a moment this week where I almost called Austin. Oh, oh my God. In the middle of the night. I like you almost called me. Crying.

But I didn't wanna wake you up. Well, I. But big move. I wouldn't have woken up. And you specifically, you wouldn't have? Oh, not because I wouldn't. It was an emergency. No, I wouldn't have. And you specifically, you wouldn't have? Oh, not because I wouldn't. It was an emergency. No, I know, but I just wouldn't have heard my phone. Anyway, go on.

Okay. You can call me, you can depend on me. I have to tell you. I'll leave my phone on ring now. No, live your life. I'll be fine. I called Maya. Okay, oh.

Well, nice to know I'm second best. Well, because I specifically needed your opinion because I have a story that's going to piss Austin off and is going to make you guys gasp some gusts. Is it light bulb related? No. Okay. But it is going to really tick him off. Is it plane related?

No, but you're going to like it. I'm still going to be mad. Okay. Yeah, I'm in. Okay. So picture this Sunday. I am ready to go to this for you Emmy Congratulation YouTube event to congratulate the youtubers that were nominated for Emmys, which is really exciting Sure, she's you tubers are nominated for Emmys Michelle Carr. Oh, yeah. She was a BuzzFeed with me mythical

Good Mythical Morning and Somebody else okay. Shout out them. Okay. Anyway, they got nominated for Emmys. Why are you invited? It's crazy. You're not even a fucking YouTuber. What?

What? That's crazy. What? I'm more of a YouTuber than you are. That's literally untrue. At least she has her own channel. Yeah. Yeah.

I have my own channel. Oh yeah? Well, I post more on mine, bozo clown. Not only does she have her own channel. Oh, yeah, I post more on mine Her own channel her channels on time yours is always late I was My channel is now uploading four videos a day. Okay. Whoa what? Saturation I go she's busy quantity quality over quantity type of thing. You know what I'm saying? Oh my God, you are uploading videos. Yeah. My hours have gone crazy. My guys have gone 35k. But you can't play. Never. Okay. First

of all, okay. Yeah, it's more than I get. I'm kind of scared. Well, I'm trying to be mean to him. This isn't about an 88k. I'm not. Yeah. When I was uploading once a day, I was getting 300 K a fucking video. Now I was uploading once a day, I was getting 300 K of fucking video. Now I'm uploading for a day and some of them hit some of them don't. Okay. Well, I am a famous YouTuber. Yes, she is.

I was invited. How many subs do you have? Would you shut the fuck up and let her finish her story? 73 K. Yeah, exactly. Okay, I am so sorry. I have to do this. We have to pause for one minute. It's a three point game. I'm so sorry, I am so sorry I have to do this. We have to pause for one minute.

It's a three point game. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. We have to pause. The New York Knicks, we can just keep going through it. But the Knicks and the Pacers are playing as the second game and- We're gonna go Bears on a different team, but he's in Aries.

Marge, are we pausing broadcast? I'm a small woman in business and I use Shopify and I've been wanting to tell you guys about it because it makes it easy for my tiny little brain. My brain's not tiny because I'm a small woman in business and I use Shopify and I've been wanting to tell you guys about it because it makes It easy for my tiny little brain. My brain's not tiny because I'm a woman It's just timing because how I was born but I have been able to accomplish many things because I use Shopify because it's available For everyone because business is full of way too many what-ifs. How do I do this? How do I do whatever and you know what? It's solved with Shopify. That's right guys turn those what-ups into That's right guys. Turn those what-ups into cha-ching!

That's right. Money and keep giving those big dreams the best shot with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com slash fear. Go to shopify.com slash fear shopify.com slash fear. Cha-ching! Cutie. Fuck the glass ceiling. Yeah.

We do it. BAM! Is that what you break? Hey, cutie. Fuck the glass ceiling. Yeah We do it Is that what you break you break you break the glass ceiling right? Yeah All right, ladies and gentlemen, we're back We're back on the Fear and Podcast. Oh yeah. I just watched my next go down too. Got my intro, but we're back.

So you were telling a story. Put your phone down, Hassan. Put your freaking phone freaking down. Yeah, she was telling us a story. Picture this, I got invited to a party that Hassan didn't. Yeah, I'm sorry. And then he got mad and he said, you're not even a YouTuber.

And I said, yeah, I am. And then he mocked me anyway, because I only have 500 so why were you invited despite not being a youtuber or being a tiny youtuber? Would you my? Would you please let her because my YouTube partner manager watches this pot and she loves me Wait, so you're gonna measure. Yes And did not invite any of the much larger

or much more talented YouTubers that are... No, because I'm lovable. I'm sorry that I'm so lovable. Or the gay one. I think he has a YouTube as well. I don't know if he does. Oh, he does. I don't know if he does.

I put a lot of clips. They're very successful. Yep. Very successful. Hey, to that YouTuber who works at YouTube, help me out. I put a lot of clips. They're very successful. Yep Works at YouTube help me out. Yeah help people honestly help me out to an invite It's just no we want a boost in the algorithm Helping you now. Oh, oh she I'm well Could be could be I could be sucking her penis. I don't know

We're not cutting that no, there's nothing What I said, yeah There's nothing wrong with what I said. All right. Yep. Anyway, so I was ready. I had my kilo outfit, this little suit dress. It was awesome. Sure.

And I'm walking out and walking, walking, doing my checks because I have OCD. So I got to check Kutz, got to check Ders, got to check Swift in that order. Right. So they're not, they don't die. They don't explode while I'm gone. And as I go to check Swift, I look on the ground and I see Mongolian beef from last night, which if you don't know what Mongolian beef is, it's just beef and onions. It was on the coffee table. It's flipped and it's now on the ground. Okay.

And I say, huh? And I pick it up and it's empty and I go, oh no. And I go to find Swift and sure enough, he's got sauce on his face. Oh no. He's licking it. So who did it? So I think it was Coots. No, no, no. Onions are toxic to dogs. Okay.

They could have like water or two of them that I had killed. So Ludwig ate the beef out of the Mongolian beef. Left all onions. Majority onions. Ooh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm panicking.

So I'm like, oh shit. So I call Ludwig and I'm like, how many of the onions did you eat? He Yeah, so I'm panicking. So I'm like, oh shit So I call Ludwig and I'm like how many of the onions did you eat? He's like, I don't know and he was like I think all of them and I was like you didn't cuz I remember at one Point looking over and being like I should eat those onions and then I forgot and then they got left out now Swift ate them You you were just gonna eat straight the onions. Yeah Yeah It's good shit, it's hot girl shit. Yeah, it is. You wouldn't know anything about it. Yeah. Yeah. You're doing you yourself. So I go to the, I get him in the car, we go to the emergency vet, right? I'm in the lobby. I'm like, my dog ate onions. It's empty. There's like no one there. So they're like, oh, no big deal.

They, they get his weight. They get his, whatever I check in. Are they like, it's not that bad. I'm in the, I'm in the waiting room. Yeah. And then the vet tech comes out and she's like, Hey, I talked to the doctor and the doctor said for his size, he could eat three cups of onions and he'd be fine. And I was like, oh. Yeah, that's right. Then we're fine.

That's what I thought. Yeah, I'm like, oh, thanks. And I was like, so I don't, what do I owe you guys? And she's like, eh, you're fine. We don't need to take you back. Like the doctor said it's three cups. You're cool. I'm like, okay.

And she's like, you can call poison control and they'll tell you what symptoms to look for. And then just like, chill out. Yeah, I'm like like awesome. You know perfect. I get in the car you call pet poison control specifically okay the 45 minute wait So imagine like your pet actually poison yeah $100 well They just tell your dogs okay, well they said like look out for symptoms. Okay, call poison control. Okay, wait I Conjured I can't Google all the side. I have any important following the instructions of the doctor Yeah, the doctor that's where you waited for 45 minutes and the doctor hundred dollars

For something that you could have googled in approximately 35 seconds. What is he doing? It's just like weird. It's just so strange. Like it's almost like he was there. It's like he's hoarding money. Yeah. I just don't understand. I will spend a hundred dollars on the ASCPA. It's just like a waste of time. It's for animals, Hassan. You... I don't understand. We're all on board. I'm on your side. I am not on your side. We're all on board. We're all on board. Ring ring. They finally pick up the phone after 45 minutes and I say, Hey, no biggie. I already went to the ER, but they said to get some symptoms from you. My dog ate some onions and blah, blah, blah. And she goes, let me put you on hold and talk to the doctor. I said, great. I'm like, seriously, like what the heck. And she gets back and she said, um,

I don't know what ER you went to, but a dog your side could only have a fourth cup of onions. And I go, uh-oh. Oh. But the vet saw your... You might still be good. Well, it was a lot of onions. I don't think it's more than a fourth cup. But the vet saw your dog.

The vet didn't come out of the office. Okay, the vet tech is equipped. You would say that. Yeah, you would think that. Well, you would think, but poison control said otherwise. And they are the poison experts. No, the vet tech is more of You would say that. Yeah, you would think that. Well, you would think, but poison control said otherwise. And they are the poison experts. No, the vet tech is more of an expert. Hold on, hold on. I'm gonna be honest.

I would be more worried about the sugar in the Mongolian beef sauce than the onions. Yeah, that's fair. But they were more nervous about the garlic and the sodium. Yeah, well, and then, okay, so here. And the onions. The doctor told you to call poison control and poison control said, so they said,

follow what poison control said. And poison follow what poison control said poison control says this Okay, so I'm like Google probably wouldn't have said that by the way I'm like, you know brick and so I call the restaurant. I'm like, how many onions do you put in this? Yeah, and they're like anywhere from two to three cups and I was like fuck fuck Oh my god, cuz love it cuz love it's like I ate I ate most of them and I was like, okay It was a big container. Yeah. There's no earthly shot that they put three cups of onions.

Do you wanna call the restaurant? This is a cup. I don't want to! That is not a cup! Do you know how many sliced onions? A quack! All right, continue, continue. Four cups of onions is basically four whole onions.

Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, you're right! They put four entire onions. Three! They put three entire onions. That's not Mongolian food. Two. That's onion barbecue. Two to three. That's a separate type of dish that you were consuming. For the record, I understand how this was an emergency and traumatizing.

He doesn't clearly understand the gravity of the situation. They're telling me my dog is in trouble. Yes. Okay? Everyone's giving you wrong information. Her dog is in trouble. Yes Okay, I was giving you wrong her dog is in trouble No, but I'm also not a chef at a Chinese restaurant But I have a fucking brain and I know they didn't put three whole cups of honey is what is she supposed to do? due diligence What is she supposed to do? How many others did you put in there every no you didn't?

By people on the phone Challenge the vet challenge boys Listen listen it is an astronomical amount of onions, but I believe I believe Do you know how to make Mongolian beef? You don't know how to make shit. You don't know how to make shit, Asan. I know how not to make it. And it's not with three cups of onions. Okay. So then I say crap. They said, what's your most exaggerated estimate? And I said a cup. Yeah. That's my most exaggerated estimate that my dog could have consumed. And she said, then we need to induce vomiting. And I said, OK, my God, how do we get it?

What? No, it had been hours at this point. It had been one hour. Well, it'd been two hours. There's no way you can get him to throw. OK, well, poison control didn't tell me that. Poison control said it's time to induce vomiting. Oh, no. I said, okay

Just for future reference after like an hour. You're not puking anything up. I would like poison control to know that Okay, so after so what do you do? So they say get hydrogen peroxide poor so like Poison your dog poor Swift Oh poor Swift. They're like, poison your dog. Oh my god, poor Swift. It said get hydrogen peroxide and based on his size, you do a tablespoon of hydrogen peroxide. Up his ass. No, down his throat. Oh no. Oh okay. The poison control told you to poison your dog. No! No! No, no, they were helping. They were helping. They were helping!

So I get hydrogen peroxide in a syringe turns out dogs Do not like hydrogen peroxide And then they said you have to then run around with him for 20 minutes And then if he doesn't throw up do it again And then run around with him for 20 minutes and then call us with the results. I said, okay Okay, this sounds like they're pranking you This sounds like your call got intercepted by YouTubers. Oh my God. How can we get cutie Cinderella prominent?

I feel like they tricked you into CIA torture tactic. Prominent YouTuber cutie Cinderella, how do we get her to poison her dog? So I give him his hydrogen peroxide, the first table. It was hard, it was difficult. He did not like it, he was freaking out. And then we ran up and down the street. I said come on We get home no throw up. Oh my god. Damn it. So then I give him a second tablespoon of hydrogen peroxide

I I hold him and I shake him like a like a No, I just go bounce him like a baby. Oh and then I put him down And I was like genius was it all just? It was majority foam from the hydrogen peroxide. So he's gargling on foam. Yeah, he throws up just like foam and then sure enough, some actual throw up. It's like when you drink a lot of beer and you do the beer throw up

and then you do the dinner throw up. So I'm like, he needs another throw up, but we can't give him more hydrogen peroxide. Was there a cup of onion in there? I picked, I had to go through it. I put gloves on. No, you didn't have to go through it. Don't worry guys, I put gloves on was I picked I had to go through it. I put gloves on So I put gloves on and I go through it and I measure and it I pull out Four onions that measured to an eighth a cup. So if he ate no more onions, that'd be a fourth cup girl girl I am sorry the eight

strands of onions yes are, Arden there's Onion it's like you guys don't believe women. What's going on here? Do you have Wrong no there are like Cup of onions is like 50 slices of onion And I'm going with her because I have to I have to I think when your friend is spiraling out of reality, you can only go with them so long Someone needs to put an end to this. This is Oh, she's grabbing my onions. Oh my god. We can also just Google this. No, I know. I already did.

Cutie! A large onion might yield around one cup of onions. We just Googled it. I mean, that was what we said was the estimate. I mean that was what we said was the estimate So, uh How you doing? I can't believe we're fucking waiting on this. This is crazy. I Mean, I don't know what to say anymore. This is I'm just happy Swift

Feel like half of this podcast is half of this park is entertaining the delusions of our gay friend and our woman friend. How much is that, Austin? You just cut yourself! I just watched it happen! She said I'm a chef and then she hit herself with a knife! Okay, okay. What is happening? Everybody chill out! Knives scare me. Okay.

Here, hold on. This is easy. This is easy, cutie. It's more than a cup. Look at that. That's not how that works. Also, why are your onions so overgrown? Yeah, these are too big.

I don't know. Why are you asking me that? Okay, give me that fourth cup. Wait, this, this don't, don't do this. They know this amount would kill him. This was the size of Mongolian beef. Yes. I don't think. Now you're on the side. You got her hung out with a dog. My dog is 15 pounds.

That's like Farley. Farley ate an eighth of shrooms. Your hands are gonna smell so bad. You're gonna smell so bad. But it's fine because we're gonna go to Korean barbecue. Watch your fingers. And you're coming. Careful.

You guys are pissing me off. Look at this rotten ass onion. This is the oldest onion in Mississippi, that's crazy. Really? Ooh, I'm kinda. We're really doing science. No, this is important, because I'm not gonna sit here and let men devalue me.

Yeah, you're really showing everybody how normal insane women can get. Okay, it's not my fault you got a musty ass onion, okay? I don't know what is happening. So they said a cup would kill them. They said, no, a fourth cup. You said a cup? No, they said the first place.

The first cup, then three cups. The poison control said a fourth cup. Yeah, okay, okay, I'm getting back, I'm getting back. Okay, stop laughing, Marsh. Chill out. Okay, so the onion slices were big. They were like, cause we're thinking Mongolian beef. Yeah, it's Mongolian beef.

Right. And so. It was cooked too, right? Yeah, but they were still this fucking big. That's crazy. Throwing stuff. And they were separated a little bit. Yeah.

Cause it was Mongolian, they were cooked. Yeah. Yeah. Because they were cooked. Yeah. Okay. Don't say gross, it's a fucking onion you pussy. I mean it's just gonna smell bad. What's wrong with that? It does, it smells like an onion. Okay, good enough.

Okay. Okay. That's, so how many sizes? That's just onion, that's not a Mongolian beef bowl anymore. That literally doesn't make sense mathematically! Do you think your Mongolian beef bowl had this much onion in it? Yes! It did, Hasan! You are on fucking crack cocaine! Hasan, it did! I know it's Trump's America, but the beef tax is not that bad! That it's mostly onion in your fucking Mongolian... It is!

Oh, that we're losing... Chat! Look at the bowl! We're losing sight of where she's getting this information. If your Mongolian barbecue had this much onion. No, no, no, no, no. Maybe that's why Ludwig didn't eat all the onions. No, no, hold on. No, there is no chance that there was this much onion in Mongolian beef barbecue.

Hold on, Hassan, you're missing the point here. When you cook onion, they're smaller. Yes, well, there's that. Not that much smaller. There's only one way to solve this. What? Call the restaurant, order the Mongolian beef, have it delivered here. Thank you Marsh.

Hold on. So now how many? Wait no we're doing this math. How many did you find? Okay, four. Okay, four. And it equaled, uh, eight the cup. Four.

Cutie, this is like not even half of that that's not how it works! yes it is! no wait stop! yes it is! no no no! oh my god! yes it is!

no no! stop it! stop it you guys know nothing about cooking! no! do not interrupt me! do not interrupt me! when it says it doesn't mean pressed when it says add a cup of onion you're not fucking doing that are you?

no bozo! but when you're measuring how doing that are you know? Do you think she's the only person that first of all is a chef hallucinating because that's I text him I text him. I don't know if he'll text me back. Okay Number two there's zero percent chance that there was a fucking entire cup full of onions in Swift's belly at any given moment Can we move the knife? Can you put the I'm afraid of You smell When we're doing the podcast you're gonna be like mine is the podcast room

I've never complained about the smell in here It doesn't smell bad because I fucking make sure that I take all the trash out Oh shit sorry, so sorry You know what Don't eat it, it's rotten Yeah it's nasty Why would you bring in a rotten onion It's all he's got

Why would you eat the raw onion? It was also the skin. You know what? That makes me feel more like Swift might have eaten an entire. Yes! Because if a good, high functioning homosexual man just threw a rotten onion in his mouth unprompted, this could be a death trap.

To be fair, you didn't know what besmirch was. I thought it was just an onion for eating. Okay. Okay. So I find at least four slices in his vomit. You see that? That's a fourth cup, everybody. Yeah. But again, no, there's a lot of air in there. You don't push it down. That's not how measuring works. That's how measuring works. That's how stomach works.

I'm going to call poison control and ask them. Okay, but that- I'm going to pay another $100 to ask them. Okay, hold on. Here's the deal. We do not have 45 minutes. Regardless of what we are debating, Cutie received information and she acted on the information that she was given.

She received two sets of information. One told her not to panic and then one told her- Yes, but the one that told her not to panic told her to call somebody And that how particular party told her to panic in the two hours in between in between ingesting the Mongolian beef and no No Mongolian onion. Yeah, so this is what happened. All right How was swift baby, so? Wait a second. Okay, he was fine, but So, wait a second. Okay.

He was fine, but onion toxicity in animals causes anemia that doesn't show up for five to seven days. And then they just spontaneously die. Wow. Oh, fuck, just spontaneously. That's what I thought. Where did you learn that? Web MD.

Where did you learn that? Google. Oh, maybe you should have fucking went to Google first then instead of going to poison control. They told her to do it. Poison control told me that, but I just was pointing at Google because he just pulled it up of going to poison control But I just was pointing out Go to Google, huh? No, no, no Because he just pulled it up and I knew you don't trust Google

Wait how much is point five of 15 pounds? I don't know we can figure that out so Which is roughly a third of a medium-sized onion does that look like a third of a medium-sized onion this looks like Okay, I don't know regardless No, that looks like the start. Put three times more of that. She called poison control. Put three times more of that. Does that amount to a medium-sized onion? I called a professional. She literally called a professional and they told her what to do. I would have done the same thing. We're listening to female voices, Asan.

No, no, hold on, hold on. Here's the deal. If you are in the care- let me put this in human. Let me translate this to human, okay? Alright, let's say- hold on. Let's say you go to the emergency room. They say nothing to worry about, but we are going to refer you to a specialist. You are now in the care of that specialist. You talk to that specialist, the specialist says,

oh shit, you need to do something. You actually are in trouble. You listen to that specialist because you've been referred to somebody who has a less knowledge on that specific. What's a doctor for an animal called? What's that specialty called? A veterinarian. Right. Where did she go first? That's right.

She went to the veterinarian. She went to the hangover. But what did the vet say? The vet told me to call the specialist. The vet said to call the specialist. Monitor symptoms and then call boys in control if they got bad. Just wait. Oh really?

Because I'm about to be validated. I'm just saying. Because Smith is dead. No, no. So then I, so then I called, you have to call poison control back with the results. I have to call them and tell them how much you vomited and what was in it. Okay. So you have to wait another 45 minutes, even though they give you a call back number and

a case number. So dogs are dying left and right. Right. There's no way. Oh my lord. And so I call him back and I say, hey, this is what happened, they say, shoot, that's not enough vomit, you've gotta take him to the vet to induce vomiting.

Oh no. They said you have to go back to the ER. Oh my god. And so I go, okay, fuck. So I go to the ER, I'm at the ER, now it's crazy crowded. As soon as I get there, they take my dog back, I tell them what happened, they're like, okay, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Okay, so then I wait for an hour. Yeah. Were they panicky in their response? Yes. Why? New vet. Ah. Who agreed that the first vet was wrong.

Ah. Mm. Mm-hmm, not all doctors are good. Mm-hmm. That's why you need a second opinion. Was he agreeing because you told poison? Gee. Was she agreeing because you mentioned

what poison control had said to you? I gave them, you have to give them the poison control case number. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just following what I'm being told by professionals. This is exactly what I would do. Oh, I'm sorry I didn't Google it and gamble my dog's life.

I think this dog didn't have to vomit at all. He just had a fucking. Well, Hassan, it's, well, we're listening to female voices. I'm just trying didn't Google it and gamble my dog's life. I think this dog didn't have to vomit at all. He just had a fucking... Well, Hasan, we're listening to female voices. I'm just trying to get the details. He had the dopest meal of his life, only to be put through the fucking wringer. For an eight hour vomiting process, like a medieval torture victim. What did you do to this dog? She is following instructions.

I'm following instructions. So then I'm there for two hours before they put me back in a room, right? So now we're looking at it's about I think it's like This point it's like 11 p.m. Something like that So they pull me back into the room and the vet comes in and the vets like hey I'm so sorry to tell you this your dog needs to be hospitalized and monitored overnight And I has of all the hydrogen peroxide No Hospitalized and monitored overnight and I has of all the hydrogen peroxide No I'm not laughing cutie. I was just asking questions

I don't agree with what he said because it's been too long and we can't induce vomiting right which is what I told you that Yeah, but what do you want me to do? Keep going keep Keep going. If I would have been induced vomiting when I first got there. So so so what was it? It would have been fine. Plan. They had to give him charcoal. Oh, my God. Oh, no.

They fucking. OK. OK. So they had. So he has to be hospitalized. OK. And they have to give him charcoal. And and so they say, oh, it's too late to induce vomiting. So we have to hospitalize it and you have to, we have to give him charcoal and we have to monitor him all night. We have to watch his blood work, all that stuff. And I'm like, okay, like I don't

have a choice now. And then I was like, well, why didn't that vet when I came in at five o'clock when this happened, why didn't that vet induce vomiting? And they're like, we have no clue. They're like, she goes goes are you sure you came here this is why this is where I'm getting angry I said yes they said there hasn't been a fit and they're in 35 years so then so then goes vet they said are you sure you came here and I said absolutely and they said well you didn't pay a consultation fee. We don't have any proof. Oh my God. Oh, I got already get mad told me everything was fine and to leave.

So they didn't even check me in and I didn't pay a consultation fee. She said that's against our policy. So they wouldn't have done that. And I said, you can check their cameras because they did that. Yeah, they were trying to avoid malpractice suit. I said they did that. So what are you talking about? And then she's like she's like, okay I'll give you a few minutes cuz clearly you're worked up and I was like, excuse you

I'm gonna give you a few fucking minutes. Excuse you Marsh. Would you clear these onions, please? We're done with the I there's a little piece here as well. Are you fucking kidding me? The audacity. So then I'm in there. Oh, I'd take him for everything they had. A nurse brings me the paperwork. I fill out the paperwork, all that stuff. They have a... Can you give me a bottle of water?

Oh, I forgot to give them. I'll take one of those. Two bottles of water, please. I fill out the paperwork. As I'm filling out the paperwork, another nurse comes in and checks on me and I'm crying because I'm pissed off. And now they're telling me that my dog's life is a gamble pretty much They're telling me that the charcoal is a gamble because the charcoal should

Absorb the toxins, but if they don't absorb all the onion because they couldn't induce vomiting We don't know if it's out of his system on the prerequisite though that there was a significant Onion that he consumed a fourth cup onion if he had consumed like this is the doctor now right making this recommendation right but under the but the guys the doctor she went in the doctor fucked up poison control validated that and now a second doctor is saying that we don't know why that doctor said the inception point of this story will never actually like we will never realize what the truth is unless we order that fucking Mongolian barbecue. He won't text me back. Okay. I can text him now. My fingers aren't

covered in it because once we find out that this Mongolian beef spot actually does not have a metric ton of onion in the fucking bowl. I think, I think the story will take a new, a totally separate. Okay. So you're crying. So I'm freaking out. There's they have validated that if the dog ate a fourth cup of onions, it's toxic. Right. Okay. So I, so I'm pissed because I'm like, they should have been do vomiting and they come in to grab the paperwork and she's like, I'm just like, I'm so sorry. Like because I'm like they should have been do vomiting and they they come in to grab the paperwork and She's like I'm just like I'm so sorry like well like I can get the doctor to talk to you again And I said I want to talk to the fucking doctor that was here at five o'clock that turned my dog away

Describe them what they look like and everything yeah And then and so then the original doctor comes back in and she's like I know you're upset like we're gonna figure out who that Doctor was like we're gonna talk that's so you're upset. We're gonna figure out who that doctor was. We're gonna talk, that's so against our policy. We're gonna figure it out. We're gonna talk to you. And I was like, okay, fuck. It's like one in the morning at this point. And so then they're like,

do you wanna visit with your dog before you leave? And I was like, absolutely. So then they bring my dog in and I'm with Swift and I'm there and I'm just like, love him. I'm just like crying. No, no, no. I'm just like stressed. I'm so stressed. Keep in mind Ludwig's in Scotland. I'm all alone during this. Okay. So I'm all alone. I don't know like what the freaking, obviously I'm making around choices. I don't fucking know.

What's he doing in Scotland? Sponsor? I think. Scott bag. Um, and so then I, um, so then I'm there and then I look at my phone and it's been an hour and I'm like, you're telling me my dog has a toxic level of onions in him and you're not doing anything and you need to do charcoal right away to absorb the toxins, but you're not doing anything. So then I walk out to the vet tech and I say, hey, apparently they need to put charcoal in my dog's stomach, but they just like haven't done anything.

They need to act fast, but it's been an hour. And they're like, they're like, oh, I just got off my 10. Let me go see what's going on. I know what's going on. And so then I'm like, should I just leave this vet now? Like at this point, are they competent? Like, are they competent? Huh?

Yeah, with Swift. Yeah, with Swift. Like, should I just take Swift with me Like are they competent? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. With Swift. Yeah. With Swift. Like, should I just take Swift with me and go somewhere else? Yeah.

So then I'm like- See your Sinai or something. So I go back to my room. See your Sinai. It's human hospital. I go back to my room. I call another emergency vet. Right.

I tell them everything. I try to get their opinion on it. Yeah. And I'm like, should I come to you guys? I said, the problem is- Valid. They said the problem is, is if you come to us that you have two-hour processing time and they said that dog needs charcoal and Four hours ago. Yeah, they said so you should just stay there and just get the charcoal and I said, okay Okay, so I stayed there and they came and got Swift and I left and then I sobbed my little heart out in the car

I and I almost called all here's I was gonna say I'm told me I make the wrong Here's the deal cutie. Let me break it down for you. That's number one I'm so sorry for what you went through number two. You're not paying that fucking bill. I paid it How much was it? $2,500 give me their number what? $2,500 okay, okay. Here's what you do you take Guys, I what do you want me to do?

We're agreeing, we're agreeing, we're agreeing. $500, are you fucking shitting me? Your dog eats all these onions, you're just gonna leave him? I have to put my foot down, I have to put my foot down. You are out of your mind. We're agreeing, we're agreeing, we're agreeing. No, you are not out of your mind.

He is out of his mind. Okay, I have a counter story to this. And I'm gonna walk you through it very quickly. Okay, I'm playing basketball with Ted Nifficent. Okay, Ted Nifficent sometimes fouls pretty hard. He's a very strong guy. Okay, he fouls me by hitting me in the chest like this. Haha, we're laughing.

I'm like, that's crazy. Like what kind of defensive move is that? He goes, oh, I this is how I defend. And he goes, ha and he actually pokes my eye out. Okay Story he pokes me right in the eye. Okay, I go. Oh, I think you might have like, you know Push my eye out of its socket or something because I open my eyes. I can't see out of my right eye of a socket or something because I open my eyes, I can't see out of my right eye. Okay. Yeah.

And then slowly. Hold on, stop. If kitty are in this situation, we go to the hospital. No, just let's see what we do. I'm gonna walk you through it. You called 911. I'm gonna walk you through it. This is the beauty of the human body.

Okay. Okay. He got a little worried. You know what I did? I didn't call the fucking government like a free healthcare hotline for eight hours I googled it. I said, what is it if you get your eye poked and you you know have blurry vision? It came back with you have cancer. Okay No, and it said that like you might have had like you might have had like like a retina

Issue or something. I don't know one of the nerves. So it'll one of the nerves might have gotten You know knocked out of place and yeah I couldn't actually I did some I did a couple self checks I filmed myself like looking at my finger one of my my right eye the one that got poked out was a little wonky it was not moving in the same speed as my normal eye, my left eye. This is clearly a big problem. What ended up happening was initially, I was seeing double. When I closed my right eye, I was fine.

When I opened my right eye, I was seeing double. The right eye was just wonky, looking whichever direction. What the fuck did you do about it? I didn't do anything. My mom was freaking out. She's like, you have to go to the urgent, you have to go to the urgent care. Yes, because your mom is a normal person

Yeah, you know what I did I didn't go because it was improving over time so I was like, you know what I got to start this stream and Okay, where's Kale? Supply to her dog your honor. You're human you can vocalize what you feel my dog can't tell me shit No But like I didn't actually go through the process of of seeking out a health care professional in that regard But if I feel like there's a comfortable hold on If google would have said to you that that eye could cause a blood clot

No, you could die instantly it told me to go to an emergency specialist immediately. Well, then why the fuck would you not go? Because he got better and now I can see out of my Terrible story did not help our argument at any point. Yes, that didn't help you Why the fuck would you not go? Because he got better and now I can see out of my bowl. That's terrible. Your story did not help our argument at any point. Yes, that didn't help you. And may God have mercy on your soul. I hope you lose that eye. I wouldn't do anything different but I'm not going to use that as an example of why Cutie's onion mania is not verified.

You ate a poison bomb. And you don't know if you're going to die for five days. A poison bomb? It don't know if you're gonna die 50% poison Can I give you my honest yes, I think that given the variance and information you're receiving You did the right thing I'm gonna start I'm gonna start here and then I'm gonna tell you the truth I'm gonna start here. No, cuz this is this is the baseline Okay, when your dog's health is in jeopardy you do what you got to do, right? Here's what I think happened

Uh-huh. I think the poison control and the second doctor gave you more credence because they felt that you were hysterical. And a lot of doctors are very worried about catching malpractice suits or having really defamatory reviews that damage their business. But I was so chill on the call with poison control because I was like, it's no big deal. I left. They said three cups is fine. I think the second time you pro I'm just said three cups is fine. I think the second time you pro- I'm just giving you my honest opinion. I think the second time you went into that vet, the reason that they denied seeing you before and the reason that they handled it with such extremely delicate gloves and agreeing with all

the very dangerous assertions you were making about your dog is because they knew that if anything actually happened to Swift after they turned him away, then that they were lying. Well, they already got a lawsuit on their hands because we're not paying that $2,500. We're taking them to small claims court. I'm just giving you my honest take. But remember, I started with if you get a variance in opinion and it's your dog's health, it's in jeopardy.

I'll call poison control right now and they'll tell me a fourth cup. Cutie, this is where they fucked up. They told you they messed up. So you already have leverage in the situation to get your money You should have not taken Swift to the vet or even fed him a biblical amount of hydrogen peroxide I gave him the amount poison control said to give him Think about the people that they're screwing over on a daily basis and they're paying all these medical bills without any justice We need to get that money back cutieie. The amount of onion that Swift consumed

is not a deadly amount of onion, but you think it's a deadly amount of onion, that's where the problem starts. So of course the doctor is running off of your insane amounts of, your overestimation of onions that you think was in the fucking Mongolian barbecue bowl But you're forgetting that I measured the from his barf and it was an eighth cup from his barf I think the first thing we do is you write a letter from your attorney and we tell them

Right we say look. This is just a warning shot Alright, and then that's how we start the conversation to know that you're serious. I don't wanna sue them. Well, you don't have to. How many days ago was this? This was Sunday night. So he's past the dead deadline. We still have to get blood.

We have to keep getting blood work done. Sunday night, shit, it's been six days. Yeah. Shit. We have to keep getting blood work. Well, you're gonna need it. You're gonna need, I don't even know what we're gonna have to do.

We're litigating? So let me tell you what happened the next morning. So I go in, I pick Swift up up as I'm waiting there, you know, when you go to the vet and you wait for your dog to come out, like the door opens, you're like, that my dog? No. Yeah. Okay.

My dog. No, I look up one time. I'm done. My dog and it's a it's a Labrador retriever on his little bed. I think coming out of surgery got blankets on him. I'm like, oh cute. Okay. You know, it's not my dog.

Two seconds behind him is a woman sobbing her fucking heart out with an afterlife care pamphlet. What kind of vet office is just wheeling dead dogs past the lobby? Oh my God. Is that crazy? Dogs died the vet all the time. Yeah, the lobby. I washed. I washed my dog. You didn't want them to do throw them out the back? Do it in the rooms. At least throw a sheet on them. They do. They have the blankets. Guys, there's back rooms. You don't have to do it pass the lobby. I need to admit something. What? I can relate and feel a lot of empathy about all this because I love Farley so much. But you have to remember the three of you. I grew up in a farm family, so my family would just shoot pets when they got like sick.

Like the idea of going to the back of Swift ate like that amount of onions. Your dad is like, I mean, he would wait to see if the onions hurt them. I just want to make I just want to remind you. You would be like, I just are running. The way that my family Has typically dealt with it animals not farley because he is my child, so I'm learning

But it's it's a different like we have barn kitties Yeah, I mean like we have never come inside in their entire life one with that was called zipper lived to 20 It was a mean cat. I believe that. It had one eye. Yeah. It used to attack me at random. I lived in fear of it. I think it's still alive somewhere.

Austin's gonna sue Zipper. So I just, I just wanna, I just wanna, I'm trying, I, if my empathy seems lacking, I'm sorry and I'm trying, I'm, you're right. No, it's fine. I just hope both your dogs eat so much onion. I your dogs the onion well. I'm not negligent. This is why I like cats I don't live in a disgusting streamer house see cats would never eat that many onions Also, I'm kidding also. Have you seen have you seen my dog? I talked shit entire bamboo Well your dog is 200 pounds. Yeah, my dog is 120 pounds. She could eat a lot of onions.

Cutie, you did the right thing and you saved your dog's life. The whole point was this, is I almost called Austin at two in the morning to ask him if I should leave because then the other vet was like... It's good you didn't call me because I would have told you to sue him. I mean, you are still trying to litigate. I think it's bullshit that she had to pay for that because of their mistakes. It cost her more money. Also, why didn't they just tell you to give the dog charcoal first?

Like you could have just charcoal-pilled him. I don't think... No, I don't think it's like a dog-specific charcoal. I said they had to monitor him. My lifelong philosophy is you should leave the your medical issues in the hands of medical professionals. And if whatever they suggest, you should go for my family didn't use to take me to the hospital for like broken bones and stitches and stuff. I think that that is wrong. Yeah, I only went because my dad forced me when my pinky was a little chopped off.

Yeah, no, you guys are weird for that. I've told you the story of when I caught myself with a pike fishing hook and they wanted to take me to the bar to have a fisherman pull it out of my head. But see, that is an old-fashioned medicine. Yeah, it's an old-timey view of things. That's old-timing stuff. My mom laughed at me. She said, you look ridiculous.

She took a Polaroid photo. I know, but we moved on past that era. I think, I think now She said, you look ridiculous. She took a Polaroid photo. But we moved past that era. I think modern medicine has evolved, but a lot of- Gives me a good leech. A lot of this stuff, I'm not like anti-medicine by any metric, I'm not RFK Jr. Okay?

But I will say a big chunk of the issues that our body has, you just just knock out you sleep it off No, you're good. No, you're handling your you have like a medieval perspective on medicine That's what they did back in the stone age the doctors just we have some care We also have Zoc doc yeah The doctor alleviates a good topic. It was crazy! That was the entire podcast. Guys I cried so hard that I didn't sleep the whole night and Ludwig's out of town and I didn't want to bother either of you to drive me because then the first

thing you would say is he didn't eat that much onions. Wait wait wait why am I not even in the question? Because you're streaming. Oh this was during the day? I would have driven I would I had to go to the hospital to pick him up at 10 a.m. I would have calmed you down. I would have been like you don't have to go to the doctor You would have laughed so I didn't want to inconvenience you I would have been like dude It's fresh on you. She's pretty far my aunt my eyes were so swollen from crying that I could barely see the road Oh my god that I would I would have driven you I don't have a car. I would have called that so sad Why you laughing at my sadness, okay, you know I get it I remember I think I would have got your back

I had to fight the Fox. Yeah, gosh. Don't tell me that story breaks my heart fight the fog Yo, gosh, don't tell me that story, it breaks my heart. You're gonna fight the fog. Oh god, I know, I cannot. I cannot hear that one. I feel like this is a little bit, you know, like self-induced. Well, come on, let's not open up that wound again. The story, the story snowballed, I think. Okay, I've got the restaurant.

Oh, you did? Oh god, this is gonna be such a good autopsy. We're gonna have an autopsy. Oh God. Onion gate. Onion gate. Regardless, I think it, ah. What? I think it's irrelevant,

whatever, how many onions in there. You were proceeding with the information you had. Yeah. Well, that's what, cause even Maya, Maya was like, maybe. You just don't know. Poison control are psych psychos and they're like Can't take that risk though. I know I don't know what I was supposed to do when I was in the hospital with my stomach flu

They're like I was like, what do you recommend? I do doctor and he said well, I think to be cautious You should stay overnight and what am I in the position? Do you literally explain to us that it was more so like you just wanted to stay there. No it was not I was not you said it sounded like a doctor. What do I do here? What would you do doctor? And he said I Would stay I would stay overnight, and I said okay, and then they kept me for another night Right two nights as I was shitting into a bucket Imagine that how horrible is that I have another shitting into a I have another counters I'm not done with my story shitting into a bucket and having to push explain a button when somebody comes in imagine

Meeting every nurse and the first thing impression they have you is here's my shit. Okay in a bucket Did you run the bathroom? There was no they they said They segregated me away from everybody. I have another story if you had gone home. You could have just used a toy They told me I couldn't they said they recommended against it. I Want to stay I tell you they kept me another night. The greatest piece of content we could ever do is the three of you softies spending a week with my mother. And just absolutely being broken. If you had told, if you ever told my mom she had to shit in a bucket, she'd go, just fucking kill me.

You can kill me. I had to shit in a bucket. Why don't you just fucking put, do you know how many times my mom has pulled me aside and go William we don't do breathing tubes you fucking kill me my mother starting when I was like 13 mom I might want to do a breathing not in this house. No, she doesn't want to be resuscitated. I respect that. She's tough bro. She's scary. I respect the DNR. She's a tough lady. You have to respect the DNR. I have another story for you. You have to resuscitate it all. I'm looking for Edward to take a bite. The year is 2009. Coral Gables, Florida, Miami Dade County.

This is another god damn Ipoke story. goddamn I post a song biker is America first time ever. The South is in America. Not enough. If you ask me, the university, not for the first time ever you were born in New Jersey. I know, but like for the, for like living now in the United States of America, the years 2009, Coral Gables, Florida, Miami Dade County,

University of Miami. After Halloween weekend, I get at the time, there is a flu that is spreading. It's kind of novel. People don't know what's going on. I didn't realize that it was happening. It's called the swine flu. Yeah, I remember the swine flu.

Yes, I do. A girl I was hooking up with got swine flu. So here's what happens. I literally. No! We just couldn't hang out for long. When you go like this, it means they're dead. They could have been something.

She might be dead. Yeah, later when you go like this, the ease are dead. They could have been something. Yeah, I thought she died. She might be dead. Yeah, later, not for this wine flu. I am incredibly tired. I don't know what's going on. Maybe it's because I drank too much. I don't know. I knocked the fuck out.

I can't move for 48 hours, okay? For 48 hours, I was stuck in my room. I got up to pee one time in that entire process and I literally slept through it, crawled my way to the emergency room on campus and they told me I had swine flu. But basically that first 48 hours was, was me going through the process of, of getting this swine flu out of my body. The hospital you went to on campus is the one that charged me $10,000, by the way. That same hospital.

Yeah. Well, regardless, I just, it's funny how the world works. Yeah. It doesn't, it doesn't matter. But my point is, you know, I, you, sometimes you sleep through it, but you're fine. You went to the hospital. No, but like, no, no, no. After that, like before the hospital, I was, I was, by the time I was able to went to the hospital. No, but like no no after that like before the hospital I was I was by the time I was able to get to the hospital I could walk and and I wasn't like dying

So it was over my my worst was the older I get the more quickly I go to the hospital Oh, like every time I get a stomach flu like the last time the one when I ended up in the hospital I went to the emergency room immediately. Yeah, because I was like, I'm not dealing with this That's really what it is and they advise you to shit in the hospital I went to the emergency room immediately yeah because I was like I'm not dealing with this that's really what it is and they advise you to shit in the bucket again no they actually will know they called the ambulance from the they called an ambulance and I had took an ambulance ride a little dramatic I feel like we're so divided on this do we have any subjects that can bring us all together yes I got one I got one bring us

together I got one Marsh would you check your DMs from May 7th? Did you order the Mongolian barbecue? Yes, it's on the way for the Patreon. Oh wait. Oh wait. No, no, that was a fake clip. The one from... I have to post... April 30th. Google updated photo of JoJo Siwa and Chris Hughes. Remember, you've all been up to date on JoJo Siwa and Chris Hughes. Aren't they very cute right now? Oh, March, April 30th.

No, but it's weird. I sent you something on April 30th. She's a celebrity and she's a grown woman too. I don't think it's weird. She's like 22, right? I'm gonna send it to you again. If she was 18, I'd be more weirded out, but she's like- That second one.

Look at them. Mexico getaway. After they said they're pleased with their new home. I'm like, I'm not sure. I'm like, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'd be more weirded out, but she's like that second one Look at him Mexico getaway After they said they're platonic soulmates. I Don't know about you, but we don't cut it like that Well, we're not platonic soulmates Okay, rude. What the heck? I mean, we're friends. Okay

What's the fucking point? Okay? Is she like are they want to be platonic soulmates? No? I thought this was like our group. You're the one who always said you don't fuck with me. I don't fuck with any of you I need to talk about something I need to talk about something. I need to talk about something. Folks, last time, it's been a few months since we talked about Frankie Valley, and you thought that it was over. But no, it's only gotten worse. This latest video from Frankie Valley is disturbing to say the least.

He's dressed well. This is really bad. You thought it was bad before. Play the clip, Marsh. Let the man die, dude. This is crazy. Play the clip. He's dressed well.

Play the clip. He's keeping rhythm. Oh yeah. He can't even move anything but his hands. No. Oh, yeah He can't even move anything but his hands No, I know yeah, it's He's not even blinking He's lip-syncing, right?

That or he's shutting it the fuck down No, I think he's incredible It's time to retire, Frankie And who the hell is putting him on tour? Being in Georgia But you know what? Look up Frankie Valli's girlfriend That's going to be us doing fucking name your price in 50 years Yeah, Frankie

Frankie Valli, Marsh, has a girlfriend that I believe is a girlfriend. Yeah. That's really Frankie Valley. So what? She's 83. I was really young for that. This is his girlfriend. No, no. Is that a Photoshop? Yep. That's his girlfriend. Jackie Jacobs. How old is Jackie Jacobs? Probably like 60 Yeah, maybe it's not too problematic. He's 89 though. I mean, yeah, I don't think he's the exploiting partner in this Yeah, 60. Yeah, let the man get his knot off You there is Platonic soulmate, there's no way he's Are you cuddling with out of all three of course that's messed up. He's so coarse. Are you kidding me? I'm a great cuddler. No, he's an awful cuddler. I'm so are you fucking kidding me? I Will are you cuddly? Yeah, I am so kind of like a teddy bear no you're

not you're like you shave your whole body it's gonna be I don't freaking he's gonna wear the shirt it's gonna be sure we're not gonna have skin on skin Look I got a zit huh? Fucking zooming huh? Why the acne patch? Because I'm healing it! Pride's next weekend! Bazzan! I don't wanna see it What's wrong? He's healing it! We've lost it!

We've become those out of touch creators We're all insane people What's wrong with my acne patch? You act like you don't get a fucking zit, huh? Look at that I just don't put a star acne patch on a body acne. I don't never gotten it He'll sit on my boob like that. I got a zit. I had to do I'm not I think it's a good idea I think it's gonna catch on These are my siblings! What do you want? I love them for them! I love them for them!

They're never gonna fucking change! They're too far gone! You're giving them the worst reinforcement! My therapist said I can't Google things, that's why I didn't Google the onion thing. I don't have a therapist. Wait, your therapist cut you off from Google? Yeah. What the fuck were you talking about before that was said? Hypochondria. Google! Yeah. What the fuck were you talking about before that was said?

Hypocondria. Google! Sometimes my shoulders hurt and then they'll be like cancer and I get stressed out. I've, Kitty, what's your latest obsession with hypocondria? I haven't had time, it's been my dog dying. Oh no, okay, yeah. My dog isn't dead, he's alive.

Mine's a brain tumor. Oh, don't get me started on those. What? I feel like I feel like this we don't it's very stressful We know what I I tried taking ashwagandha, you know, yeah I told you and then I start to feel like I Feel like good and then I feel like I don't I sleep better. I like black Panthers from no See you take I take it. And over the days, I'm like, oh my God, I feel so much better.

I'm not stressed. It's a cortisol reliever. And then over the days, I'm just like, wait, I don't care anymore. And then I'm depressed. Yeah, maybe you're taking too much ash gourd. But I'm just taking one pill. Take half.

You could be sensitive. I can't cut them, it's a pill. Well, look at the pill and see how many milligrams it is and buy a smaller dose. Oh, fuck, okay. I can't cut them, it's a pill. Well look at the pill and see how many milligrams it is and buy a smaller dose. Oh fuck, okay. I'm a doctor. Wow, on that note. I'm proud of all you guys.

You guys, you know what? We're doing all right. Kids are all right. Keep onions away from your dog. Yeah. Do you really think it looks that tacky? No, I think it looks cute. No, it looks fantastic.

I wouldn't wear it in public. Don't listen to her. That's, no I usually wear it looks that tacky. No, I think it looks cute. No, it looks fantastic. I wouldn't wear it in public. Don't listen to her. That's, no, I usually wear it in public. I go out like this in public, so you shouldn't listen to me. No, you look hot. You can wear a little skimpy skirt on. All right, ladies and gentlemen,

we're going behind the paywall. Onion Gate will be resolved in part two. We did a whole fucking episode on fucking rock. I think they're gonna love it. See you on the other side. Patreon.com slash Faran. Peace. You said that Ludwig, when asked that he ate all the onions. Now you said he didn't eat any onions.

So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna allow you to use the onions from half of this order. Okay. So I'm about to put half the order in a bowl. Let me make a penis first. Assuming that Ludwig really didn't eat. Well why don't you just measure all the onions and then put half. No because that's not. He didn't eat all the onions. They're big onions. All right here we. He wants to eat the meat. Scientific. Okay he's tainting the process. Is this the halfway mark?

Yeah. Austin's show. This is Austin's penis. You may eat... May eww, it's not my penis. You're spilling. It's cutie, it's bigger than that. I'm not gonna lie, there's more onions in it than I thought.

I will admit. At first glance, a lot more onions in that bitch than I thought there would be. Okay? So my bad on that.