Fear& - The Boys Episode (Ft. Eddy Burback, Hasanabi, WillNeff & AustinShow) | Fear&Margaritaville

Episode Date: September 25, 2023

This week we interrogate alleged killer Eddy Burback. Spoiler: he did that shit. .Rest in Paradise Jimmy.In loving memory of Jimmy Buffett (1922 - 2023)🎉BONUS CONTENT🍾 🌟PATREON - https://www.patreon.com/FearAnd🎧 AUDIO PLATFORMS - https://linktr.ee/fearand♥ follow our guest! ♥Eddy: https://twitter.com/eddyburback✰ follow Fear&! ✰Hasan: https://twitter.com/HasanthehunWill: https://twitter.com/TheWillNeffQT: https://twitter.com/QTCinderellaAustin: https://twitter.com/AustinontwitterMarche: https://twitter.com/MarcheFear&: https://twitter.com/FearAndPod0:00 BOYS ONLY INTRO1:56 Hasan kicks the giant 3:20 WILLNEFF SURPRISE HOTSAUCE DROP7:07 SOMEONE KEEP A SPREADSHEET OF HOW FAST AUSTIN MENTIONS SEX EACH EPISODE OF THE PODCAST08:40 HOW YOUTUBERS KILLED AN ICON NOT CLICKBAIT13:00 WHAT IS EDDIE WORKING ON (BESIDES KIND MURDER)15:29 KICK IS TRASH22:50 Would you kill your brother?24:33 GRIZZLY MEN TALK GRIZZLY HABITS30:30 AUSTIN SHOW URGENT CARE REGULAR35:45 "Skip this part" - Austin Show (32)42:06 The gays the bars and the gyms48:00 THE BOYS GET ROUDY53:05 Would you suck d*ck in a pool / outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Playoff football is here with BetMGM. And as an official sportsbook partner of the NFL, BetMGM is the best place to fuel your football fandom on every game day with a variety of exciting features. BetMGM offers you plenty of seamless ways to jump straight onto the gridiron and to embrace peak sports action. Visit BetMGM.com for terms and conditions. Must be 19 years of age or older.

Ontario only. Please gamble responsibly. Gambling problem? For free assistance, call the Connex Ontario helpline at 1-866-531-2600. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Welcome. Welcome back. To Fear and... Welcome back to the Fear and Palsy.

That's right. That's right. That's the name of our podcast. Don't wear it out. Hello. Hello, hello. Today, after last week's insane episode where we had girls and gays and also Tana, which is like somewhere in between the two um why

not both uh i decided we're gonna have a only male podcast and and yeah dicks pussies titties am i right fellas let's go i feel like this is a revenge episode from last week yes it is where it was the gays and the girls and now you guys are just gonna we are going yeah i was we're gonna hate crime no man says raw hot wet testosterone like eddie motherfucking bird that's right dude i wanted to bring the guy who's just fucking oozing with it brother look at that mustache don't even the hairiest guy you could think that's right let your nuts hang dude let's let let your nuts hang behind the paywall. Oh, they're hanging down here.

They're right under the... Is there a paywall camera? I can feel them. They're on my leg. That'd be great. The paywall camera just way style. Yeah, just fucking Japanese subway creep shot style. That's what we do.

That's how we do it. Hey, Fear And, new episode. We're doing the damn thing. I just want to start off with one very important piece of information march can you please pull up our youtube page really quickly i just want to just want to do a quick test sure this is not for you eddie hey for the record we just kind of talk amongst ourselves and you're like uh you know someone that we brought along right exactly yes yeah yeah no that's literally what our podcast normally works.

Okay, so look at that. What is that average? We're like 267,000, 300,000. Pretty good numbers. Oh, look at that. Last episode had 322,000. Oh, I think I know where you're going with this.

Can you look up, what's the name of this other podcast? I can't believe you're doing this. What's the name of this other podcast? It's called, wait, you're, oh, yeah, The Yard, yeah. I can't believe you're doing this. What's the name of this other podcast? It's called... Wait, you're... Oh, yeah, The Yard.

Yeah. I can't believe you're doing this. Can you click on their profile? We are opening up a can of worms. Let me... Wait, what does that say? 207,000, 282,000, 262... Oh, wow.

Oh, son. Wow. This is so petty. It seems like our podcast, which many people have said has a bad name which i don't think it has a bad name is is crushing another podcast i can't believe you've done this no you want to know you want to know what's fucked up about it i did this to his face on the phone after talking to lud yesterday for like 35 to 45 minutes about like all of my woes, I

literally was like, oh, by the way, I just looked up the Yards numbers and we're fucking crushing you. Bro, we might have kicked a giant. We might have had the Yard next episode. A little bit of competition. Live ass nair episode, 6 million views. Yeah, a little competition ain't hurting nobody. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, I think we're whooping that ass. Well, in celebration of that. Ooh, that's a great segue. Great segue. I'm saying? Yeah. I think we're whooping that ass. Well, in celebration of that, I got a little segment for us. Great segue. Great segue. A little segment for us. Oh my god. Grab a french fry, and I got some nuggies in case. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, in the most shameless plug I've ever done,

I've been working on something for a long time. Yeah, those are also mine. Oh, wow. I've been working on a bottle of brand of hot sauce. No. This is Speedy's Will Neff edition. Yeah, those are also mine. Oh, wow. I've been working on my bottle. Oh, what are you working on, Will? Brand of hot sauce. No. This is Speedy's Will Neff edition. Marsh, that's your bottle. Wait, no.

Oh, my God. Okay, Marsh, that's not mine. No, that's my bottle. Is this over? No, this is where I need two bottles. This is a real hot sauce. The label looked too real. Is this over three ounces?

Can I get this in my bag through airport security? I do not know that. There's got to be more than this. Oh, you can't, so just leave it here. Don't worry about it. I just, I want honest opinions. Try the hot sauce. I'm got to be more. Oh, you can't. So just leave it here. Don't worry about it. I want honest opinions. Try the hot sauce. I'm going to check it in my luggage.

Because I think pound for pound, dollar for dollar, I have the best hot sauce in the world. Okay. Ghost pepper shit you're dropping. This is no ghost pepper. Someone died already. This is habanero, peach, and garlic. Will, I'm going to tell you. I'm going to tell you if it sucks.

Yep, please do. I will tell you. Tell me if it sucks. I am a hot sauce connoisseur. I love hot sauce. It's not the hottest. It's got some back heat. Ooh, I opened it, and it went boop.

Yeah. Well, I'm going to do this. That smells really good. You're the first ones to try this. Here, just put it right there. It smells very good. You can put a lot on, because it's not super spicy. Eddie, do you want to take out of this?

Yeah, sure. I didn't want to douse it. I wanted to dip it in there. You know what I mean? I want to give it a whirl. I'm starting to get on the table here. Let me balance it out. Ahsan, do you have any napkins?

Because it's going to spill. There's holes in the top. Yeah, I don't know why I did that. I'm going to get it with the fry right here. Okay, there we go. I mean, to your credit, you didn't know there was going to be a taste test in the beginning. I didn't know.

I wasn't prepared. We didn't have cups. Oh, no, don't worry. Even if he was prepared, he would have figured out a way to fuck it up. I'm probably going to go nuggy. Oh. Will, this hot sauce is fire. Will?

I told you. I'm not even. This is really good. Right? I was going to be nice either way, but this is really good. Yeah, like, Will, this is fire. It's a bit sweet. It's got like a little kick, like a baby kick. It's a bit sweet. It's got like a little kick, like a baby kick.

It's a good sauce. It's very good. This is my baby. This is what I'm working on. This is a great sauce. Yes! I'm not saying this just to sell hot sauce for you. Can I keep this bottle?

It's yours. Nice. Will, this may have changed my life. I knew you were going to be my biggest critic because I knew if it was bad, you would have been like, Will, this is trash. No. It was, I pride myself on being an honest guy. You do.

You're honest. And I swear to God, this is fire. You know what I'm going to do, Will? What are you going to do? Let me tell you something. I don't do this often. Sure. I'm checking this as a bag.

Wow. No, no, no. Just leave it here. Don't worry about it, motherfucker. No, no, no. Don't worry about it. Just leave it here. I heard it this as a bag. Wow. No, no, no. Just leave it here. Don't worry about it, motherfucker. I'm taking it home. No, no, no. Don't worry about it. Just leave it here.

I heard it's illegal. No. I'm checking this as a bag. I heard in the state of Oregon it's illegal to... I don't know if you understood me. I am not just checking it in my bag. I'm checking it as a bag. Thank you.

I've got a baggage allowance of three. Our meet and greet at Twitch.com. Yes. Our meet and greet. The Hassan Wilneff, Hassan Biker meet and greet. I'm giving away 200 bottles. Oh, my God. So first 200 people. Our meet and greet at Twitch.com. Yes. Our meet and greet. The Hassan Wilneff, Hassan Biker, we meet and greet. I'm giving away 200 bottles. Oh, my God. So first 200 people to our meet and greet.

Fuck yeah. This is good. Can you hand me a nugget? Oh, for sure. I'm dead serious. This is... All right. You don't have to gas it up anymore.

We can move on to... No, it's really good. Thank you. I'm going to... In fact, Hassan, do you have a plate or something that I could use? There's just the relief of like... I'm not going to get up to get a plate. That was really good.

Don't worry about it. Fuck it. Wouldn't that be a terrible way to start a podcast? You just put something in's just the relief of like, oh, that was really good. I'm not going to get up to get a plate. Don't worry about it. Fuck it. Wouldn't that be a terrible way to start a podcast? You just put something in your mouth and you're like, oh. I will give constructive criticism to friends, but there's no more relief in my life when a friend shows me like a project or something they've done. I'm like, I really love this and I can just kind of be nice about it. So I'm a big hot sauce guy.

I don't know if you're a big hot sauce guy. I really like hot sauce, but I haven't gone into the world of hot sauce. Yeah. Well. Amazing. Can I? Phenomenal. Here's where you fucked up.

Eddie, tell me about your. You only got like a little bit of chicken nuggets. I did get 10 nuggets. I'm dying to know. You've got that sexy mustache. You do. With all your hot sauce money, you could have gotten more. Has it been working for you?

Is it in the sex department? Like the sex department? What? What do you mean the sex department? I've been in a committed relationship for over three years. I knew that. That's what I'm,

but I'm saying, is it working? Yeah, no, it's still there. She's around. What's next? You're gonna ask him how he fucks his girlfriend?

No. Does the mustache help in bed? Am I crossing the line here, Eddie? No. I also did grow the mustache, or I guess trimmed it correctly kind of right before Chrissy and I started dating.

Okay. So, uh... There you go. It worked. It worked. I like that you did that and never, like, I can't fuck this up

ever again. I'm also not gonna get rid of it because, like, it just... I don't know. I like it a lot, and now I it because like, it just, I don't know. I like it a lot and now I look in the mirror and it's part of my face.

It's so good. And if I get rid of it, I just feel like I'm, I see old photos of myself and I'm like, I'm not him anymore. You know what I've noticed about you? The shape of your mustache

perfectly mimics the shape of your eyes. Yeah. Oh. Never thought that. You have like very, you have like very almondy, beautiful eyes. Thank you.

And you have a very almondy mustache. You're saying you have a very almondy saying you have to what's that thing that was on tiktok symmetry oh is it the insult thing no not the epicanthic fault that's uh just asian people have that i think right um i only vaguely saw like one or a little bit of discussion yeah it's when you have droopy eyes okay and and do i have that correctly do i do i pass no you have when you have droopy eyes. Okay. And do I have that correctly? Do I pass the consultants? No, you have it like going downwards. So they're saying like you're cooked. You have sexy eyes.

You have kind eyes. But I think you have kind eyes and sexy eyes as well, yes. It's natural. We also need to talk about the elephant in the room. You... How I trim my pubic hair.

No. No, this is much more serious. We'll get to that. Your video might have killed one of the greatest singer-songwriters in our generation. I doubt he saw it. We didn't kill him. I'm just saying you did a Margaritaville video. Oh.

And then what happened immediately after? Not immediately. Not immediately. About two months later. But one thing I think didn't help is that it was about to cross two months. But YouTube still said one month. So people thought it was extra recent um oh yeah they do that yeah he was uh he was hospitalized once when we were on the trip right and there's this kind of discussion with ted and i were like his life is the most important thing but we're also like wasting two

months of our lives on this project and like what do we do because we don't want to be disrespectful um but jimmy held out and it ended up i don't know he died around friends and family and his dogs so i have i have an alternative okay so you're here about it well i have an alternative context here yes yeah i think i think jimmy has lived a very well let me give some context because austin's kind of swimming in the abstract yeah Eddie recently did an amazing video with Ted

where they went and visited every Margaritaville yes restaurant in the country heard about it and Canada yep

soon after two months later very soon almost immediately after two months later video drops three weeks later Jimmy Buffett

kicks the bucket there are some that are connecting the dots. What could the video have done? You want me to know? I told Ted this already, but in private, and I think this is what happened, genuinely, in my headcanon, but also I think this is real.

Number one, Jimmy Buffett lived a very long and beautiful life. And Margaritaville was his baby. He made him billions of dollars. And, you know, he always wanted to live Moss, right? But he wanted to also carry the torch. There's the Taco Bell.

Okay, whatever. I'm mixing up the branding. But it's like pretty much the same thing. Like, you know, he chose burgers in paradise. He wanted a life where, you know, after a long day of work, you could just slam back some margaritas, and it's 5 o'clock somewhere. Maybe you're drinking at 12, but it's 5 o'clock somewhere, right?

But he was very worried that in spite of the billions of dollars in franchising and the plan that he definitely shipped a metric tons of cocaine in because no one has a seaplane and doesn't ship cocaine in the fucking 80s 90s 60s 70s um he was literally shot by the jamaican police just look it up if you don't believe me wasn't't Bono on the plane when that happened? I don't know. Well, more, more. I know less than you did research when you watched it on stream. I saw you doing research and I was like,

this is more than I did. Yeah. More evidence that he definitely was trafficking cocaine. But there's nothing wrong with that. We love cocaine. That's great. Anyway.

And in his final days when he was very sick, I think he was like a little bit worried about, how will I ensure that the legacy continues? And then he saw the double feature. Pitt Nivison, Eddie Bareback, barebacking cheeseburgers in paradise, going to every Margaritaville, and he said,

this is it. This is living La Vida Loca. They did it. Now you're just every. I gave him a peaceful death then, you're saying? Yes, you did. Okay. He said, I can finally rest easy knowing full well that people will continue living Moss,

living La Vida Loca. Both are Jimmy Buffetts. None of these are Buffettisms. Both are Jimmy Buffetts. None of these are Buffett-isms. Both are Buffett-isms. There are so many Buffett-isms and you're just throwing anything Spanish at them. Parrot, real Parrot, real Parrot heads know.

For some reason. Also, he doesn't even speak Spanish. The arc of my video is that I don't. So, Ted does, but I fall out of it. So, like, but I guess the energy is there. Both sides.

He's a big both sides guy. Both sides of trafficking cocaine and also both sides of living La Vida Loca, which is a Jimmy Buffett trope. Not just in honor of him, but I do have a photo from the floor to the keys of the video for my wallpaper of my Apple Watch that I got. Hell yeah.

So now I can look always and remember uh what he's gifted me um and also uh money from the video that's also been great that's always good that's way better than the wallpaper for sure yeah so how did you get your name eddie bareback my parents gave it to me well not the last name that's his name's burr burr. Oh, I just say Burrback. Oh, that's your name. Burrback is my last name. Makes sense. You were way more involved in the Tana conversation. I was just cutting edge journalism from Austin's show. What have you been into recently?

Into? Yeah, what have you been doing? Mainly not exciting stuff. I'm trying to figure out what the next thing I really want to like dive into for like a work project is. I also have a channel with my brother that we, uh, that I've just been working on. Um, other than that, just like playing tears of the kingdom, just hanging out. I'm not a very busy person unless I'm throwing myself into a video.

That's about it. What do you do for fun? Um, I, I play games. I'm throwing myself into a video. That's about it. What do you do for fun? I play games. I walk a lot. Oh, wow. Nice. I like walking around. I'm like an old man already.

Sometimes I catch myself with my arms behind my back, like that kind of pose. You know, the inspecting kind of old man walking around. I stop myself, and I'm like, I'm not old enough yet for this. But I also run. I'm doing... Put your like, I'm not old enough yet for this. But I also run. I'm doing. Put your hand up like this and go, oh, teenagers. Yeah.

That sort of thing. I'll yell at any teen on Melrose that makes me feel like times are changing. Yeah, me too. Yeah. But nowadays it's valid, which I think is a really good segue into what I want to talk about. Hell yeah. First topic, first point of contention here. Teenagers have always been kind of lame.

We were teenagers. We were shitty when we were teenagers. Nowadays, they're like more toxic, I think, partially because we're old, but also partially because of what they're watching. Oh, yeah. And the content that they're consuming is predominantly like Aiden Ross streams, Sneeko and the like. And we were kind of riffing on that before we started on the stream,

but I wanted to point to something here and get your guys' tag on it. Kick is a toxic shithole. Sure. It's out of control. The latest thing is that they had, like, Sam Pepper is back. For those of you who don't know. Sam Pepper's British. Yeah, exactly.

That's what they're calling it. That's what, I mean, that stream was very much, if you're thinking bad for a camera shot on a couch, or straight at a couch, it's what you're thinking. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, it's a perfect way to describe couch. It's what you're thinking. Yeah. Oh yeah. No, it's,

it's a perfect way to describe it. They're on, they, they find a fan on the ground, which they are calling robot Andy. Cause you know, very clever. And they hire an escort for said fan and they're filming.

And then the, the sex workers phone number obviously is immediately found. It leaks, and then they start texting her and, like, creeping her out, like the fans that are watching. And then one of them actually reveals to the sex worker that, like, there's two other people that she wasn't aware of in a separate room and that, like, it's being livestreamed. Like, everything that she's doing is being livestreamed

because they told her, like, she was being recorded but not livestreamed. She freaks out. She wants to leave. live streamed she freaks out she wants to leave she gets like very scared wants to leave and then there's a brief moment where like the fan is literally trying like the bald guy's trying to not let her leave and it's like very tense and then they get arrested because it was like a swatting i guess they did a swatting you know the usual just normal really cool stuff every fucking terrible yeah so that's that's where we're at and the throughout this entire process the fucking dude who was the co-founder of the live streaming service slash the online crypto gambling casino that is basically the engine that fuels it with revenue

is in the chat throwing up keg w's laughing for those of you who are uninitiated. He was in the chat during the fucking bald guy. It's like him spamming laughing emojis. What the fuck? Yeah, he had also hung out with Ice Psy the day before I saw him because they're in Australia and he's Australian. So, you know, really cool stuff. I think some serious moderation is a necessity.

Wanted to open up the conversation for you guys. Hear what you have to say while I eat the rest of these fucking fries before we'll tank some bitch. That's good sauce. Well, you were talking about the teens for it. I don't think the, I was trying to think about this actually earlier today. Did we, I mean, we know the business was never that good for, for being like the, the kind of of sexist grifter type thing.

We didn't have an internet version of somebody like Tate, even though he's pretty relevant now. Those types, there wasn't a group of those guys so overt when we were younger on the internet, right? No, there were, but they were not as mainstream. Yeah, that's what I mean. There wasn't a figure that everybody had to talk about because they were so in everybody's face yeah yeah yeah i think that you at least made a

cursory effort to hide things right like i think for us to go and look at smut or extreme violence or kind of degeneracy like that you had to make an effort to go on like the very fringes of the internet uh eat fucked and and uh oh oh yeah sites that had like really heinous awful scarring i never i never went to the really upsetting websites i was always just like i've seen i don't want to feel bad so i wouldn't seek it out uh i do think that there is kind of like in the same way that you get the stomach rush when you stand on the edge of a skyscraper and there's like that voice that calls you uh the french have a word for it's like the call of the void or something like that i think there is kind of a quality um especially for

young people on the internet where like they want to see the train wreck and i think all live league yeah ultimately i think kick is now providing a lot of those like impulses where it's like oh my god how i can't believe this is happening i have to watch and i i think there's a very real appeal to that kind of stuff um whether or not you know you should be broadcasting at all i think that's where the real question is. Yeah, no, I am a firm believer that like, obviously, pranksters and things of that nature are always going to exist.

But like, pushing boundaries is one thing, but pushing boundaries with like, pushing boundaries in this direction always feels like so gross and exploitative for the average person who, you know, doesn't need to be a part of your scheme. You know what I mean? You're like running around putting a camera in people's faces and you're

making a mockery of them for an audience that is also utilizing you like a robot in the real world. Like one of the other versions of this is Johnny Somali, the guy who recently got arrested in Japan. He got knocked the fuck out. He got knocked the fuck out. He got choked out. Oh, he's the worst. He's this racist piece of shit who runs around Japan saying racist shit.

Yeah, he just, like, keeps screaming Hiroshima Nagasaki. Does he live there? And that's his, like, kind of whole thing? I think he just traveled there. Okay. But some dude knocked the fuck out of he and his friend. Yeah. And then now he is actually arrested in voluntary hold for, uh,

uh, 20 to 30 days in Japan is, is, is the rule of law in Japan. But yeah, he got arrested because he broke into a construction, uh, uh,

site and was like doing the Hiroshima Nagasaki shit again. Uh, that's when he got knocked the fuck out. Yeah. It was really cool. Show a sound, show a sound. That shit is clean. Pretty fire. No, no, no he got knocked the fuck out. It was really cool. Show us sound. Show us sound. That shit is pretty fire. No, no, no. Listen to the grunt.

Look. Just don't grab my camera. Oh, you have to fix that. Don't grab nothing. Boom. Boom. Wait, pause it.

You hear him go. It's one of the sickest sounds I've ever heard yeah play that again get let's get that Falcon Punch Kick video you know talking about the one it was like during a protest I forgot it was the person like stanced up and then oh like sweeping oh it's the fucking uh the dude at the planned parenthood i think so yeah he's like kind of iffy and and you don't expect him but then he just fucking whop i fucking love it that's crazy have you ever been hit like that yeah have i been hit like that yes have you been hit like that no i've never been in a fight. Who's hitting you guys? What happened to you?

I got punched a lot. I went to school. Did you deserve it? I don't know if anybody ever deserves to get the shit kicked out of them. Yeah, but you know what I mean. No, I didn't deserve it. Sometimes people deserve it. I didn't deserve it.

I got knocked out cold by a kid in high school. One of my roommates just he basically freaked out because i poked him with a stick and this was in boarding school and i like ran away and i think it was it was like snowing outside we have a snowball fight or whatever and he came with like a fog and i just tapped me on the shoulder and what the hit me in the face what kind of childhood was this bro teenagers are fucked up that young have you guys been hit like that as adults? I mean, in college. Shit, man.

I guess I went to community college. I never got in a school fight. The only person that would beat the shit out of me, I guess, is my fraternal twin brother, and we were not fighting in my mom's basement at community college. If you and your fraternal twin brother death match right now, who wins? I don't... If we don't... It's like removing. We don't know each other. Right now, I'm? I don't. It's like if we don't. It's like removing.

We don't know each other. Right now I'm taking that your brother wins. I am bigger than Tony. Okay. But also like. I mean we would have to. If you're a podcast. Would you kill your brother if it came down to it?

We would have to be like reprogrammed to where I wouldn't. I don't think I could hurt. You are in a pit. Well then I'd let him kill me. Wow. I'm not him kill me. Wow. I'm not going to kill my brother. That's beautiful. Does your brother have a mustache like yours?

Do it. No, he has a beard, though. Oh, okay. Do it. Facial hair runs in the family. Yeah, yeah. So in a life or death scenario, you just choose. Life or death, I'm letting Tony kill me, but also I think Tony would let me kill him, so

I think we just hang out for a while until we starve to death. Fair. Hasan, could you kill me? Yes. Yeah. Could or would? I we starve to death. Fair. Hasan, could you kill me? Yes. Yeah. Could or would? I would buy killing that. You could kill me?

Yeah. Yes. Well, I know you could kill me, but like, could you? That was the question. Could you emotionally kill me? Yeah, yeah. Depends. I know physically.

Depends on how you've been behaving. What have you done? What have you done that I would never? You would feel no empathy for killing me after another tana podcast he's all in on kill yeah code switches he was all girly girl he was all girly this guy he's all manly manly right now which is not like my thing it's just visually wait i'm sorry are you serious are you you know all of the stuff that we say and do is recorded on camera yeah i know i stand by what you think you think people won't be able to notice how different you You know all of the stuff that we say and do is recorded on camera.

Yeah, I know. I stand by what I said. You think people won't be able to notice how different you are right now in comparison to last episode when you were like, hey. He was all cool, girly girl last week. Oh, yeah. He was all Tana's bestie and everything like that. Now he's a manly man. I'm not a manly man.

It's the mustache tricks, everybody. I'm not. No, Eddie's a manly man. He's lying to you. You're a manly man. That's what manly men do. What's the manliest thing you do not much man

I don't even I don't like just if you had to name something that someone went damn that is grizzled I think visually that's all I got

I think you think the mustache is the grizzliest okay wait hold on okay let me ask a question then do you use body wash on your face no

oh yeah you have a girlfriend of three years actually that's like impossible before even I like wait even before I. You have a girlfriend in three years, actually. That's impossible. Wait, even before? I don't have a good... I guess not having a solid skincare routine

is probably the most grizzled thing that I do. I just kind of do it as is. But, like, I don't... Before Chrissy and I dated, no, like, two-in-one shampoo or anything. That's good.

I also have an older sister, so do you use a moisturizer? Awesome. What's the grizzliest thing you older sister. So do you use a moisturizer? What's the grisliest thing you do? The grisliest thing? The grisliest thing. Depends the Vikings. No.

The most. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, the grisliest thing, like in my routine. No, just what can you do that's like pretty fucking manly? Pretty fucking manly. God damn. I don't do much. I'm telling you, the way he dressed before.

The way he dressed for years. I watched football. Yeah. Yeah. I watched football and I get really into it. So I was at a football game this weekend. I went to the Ducks and Colorado Buffaloes game. Sure.

And I'd say the grisliest thing is when I know, like, for as much as Hasan has taught me about politics and the problems with the military-industrial complex, there is something that gets me so rock hard when the fucking national anthem starts playing that's so funny and they that's pretty great they had paratroopers navy paratroopers diving into the stadium okay with america the beautiful playing yeah on an electric guitar yeah i was rock hard with my hand over my chest and I was so proud to be an American. That is

the most grisly thing. I love that. Hand over the chest, hat over your erection. Yes. That's what you remove the head cover for, brother. I started the USA chant in my section. Hassan, what's the grisliest thing you do?

You're not really a grizzly cat. He's all grizzly. He doesn't wash his face. I wash my face. It's just like I use body wash because why would you need to use something different? You fart in your car a lot. I have no... I hate this lie that you...

He farts in his car? No, this is a lie that he's perpetrated. If he's perpetuated this lie, because it's the perfect lie you can tell about someone online because no one can check you. You know what? I actually think that's true. I've driven his car.

It just smells like... See, there you go. Now he's doing it too. There's a couple of those kind of open secrets around internet people, and I hear that about you all the time. Yeah. What is something crazy you do, though you guys i mean you lift a lot

that's pretty good yes yeah do you know i guess what do you grunt sometimes when i was in high school and community college i used to i think do a lot more like performative stuff like that i also used to lift a lot throughout all of high school and then community college. And then I think having just this look, I'm like, I'm good. I don't have to do anything that I don't want to do now. I don't have to, even though I don't mind. So what just happened? You just drank some hot sauce? It's on your lip.

It's on your lip. What are you doing? It's really good. Wilneff's hot sauce. You know what the most grizzled thing I do is? I'll tell you right now. I don't get stitches. I super glue my cuts.

Oh, my God. Go to the hospital. I've done this many times, and I have pretty gnarly scars all over. And the first time I did it around Caroline, she really freaked out. Understandably. I went to open a bag of carrots,

and I stabbed my thumb. It is a pretty funny, going from grizzly mode to like, yeah, I was opening a bag of baby carrots. I was opening up a bag of baby carrots. And you cut yourself. And I cut myself real bad. Why do you refuse to go to the hospital?

Because you don't need stitches. You just superglue your cuts. Okay, and did it work? Yeah, it worked great. Well, I guess he's here, so. That's true, but I'd be really crazy to bleed out. No, but I took an Uber to the CVS, grabbed a tube of Super Glue.

So you took an Uber somewhere, and it wasn't the hospital. You could go to urgent care for that. And you have healthcare? Yeah. So, I mean. I understand. I guess also it's the same thing. It's the same thing.

But then again, I'm not a good person for this, because I found out throughout, I mean, a couple years back, I found out that I had a, I had like a broken piece of bone in my kneecap swirling around. Yeah, you super glue that? That was like the size of a ping pong ball, like a little bit smaller. Did you feel pain from it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, all the time. I used to just like squat with it, and it would sometimes get stuck in between my knee. Do you have arthritis? No, I don't think so. But sometimes, I mean, when it's human, my joints hurt a little bit. But anyway, I, I went to the doctor. I didn't have a lot of money. And the doctor was like, yeah, we got to get that shit out.

Like a laparoscopic surgery. Like it's, you know, it's an immediate need. So I just kept lifting with that for like a couple of years because I didn't want to do the recovery. Oh, I work out too. That's managed. In junior high, I was doing hurdles because I was in track for a bit and which also it sounds like I run a lot. It's very recent of doing distance stuff

at all. And I was in track and I was they put me in the like category where all the like slower kids went. It was like running the 800 meter. But I was trying out the hurdles and I felt something tear my knee and then I just didn't go to the doctor until it felt better. But for like two years

if I sat like at the movie theater or like in a car for a long time it would start to hurt really bad and then it just kind of went away

now that's grizzly that's grizzly ignoring a hospital need and just being a dickhead about it that's grizzly not listening

to medical professionals is the manliest thing you can do it's grisly. Not listening to medical professionals is the manliest thing you can do. It's also grisly to be a medical professional and not listen to women. Yeah. Very common practice. I agree with that. Sounds like you guys are on the wrong side of the table.

Beautiful and natural. So I have a problem. Anytime I feel anything remotely off about my body, I go to urgent care. I'm so much so that the urgent care, I have to go to different urgent cares because I'm embarrassed that I've been there so much. That's insane.

Yeah, like the hypochondria. I'm a regular at the urgent care. The doctors now see me and they say, you don't need that. Which is insane to me. Probably already have you logged us like because it's not just you doing that like they probably think you're like a fetish it's funny it's funny because like people you think so like i really get off i'm gonna need

you i'm gonna need you to check my scrotum yeah like i don't know i just go in for blood work you never know what could change people people, people... Right? You never know. In what time span? Like, I've gotten my blood work, I think, done. I counted this year. I've gotten it pulled eight times. That's insane, Austin! Well, I could... I memorized my CBC.

Wait, that's close to once a month. Yeah. No, I've got my blood work done a shit ton. And plus I got... And plus I get... And plus I get a... You might have a fetish. I don't enjoy getting needles. You like needles. No, no, no. You like getting needles. You might. I don't... You might. I do a CD test. You might have a fetish. I don't enjoy getting needles.

You like needles. No, no, no. You like getting needles. You might. I do not enjoy it. It does hurt. It does hurt, and I don't enjoy the pain. But it hurts so fucking good.

I don't enjoy the pain, but see this vein right here? That's the vein they pull from typically. You have a track mark. No. Like a heroin addict. It does look like a track mark. You literally have track marks. Is that what a track mark is? Yes. Wait, but that's because addict? It does look like a track mark. Is there literally a track mark? Is that what a track mark is?

Yes. Wait, but that's because I just had one done recently. Yeah. Like heroin addicts. That is what a track mark is. Wait, so we all get track marks when we get our blood taken, right? Heroin addicts get needled. How often do you think everybody else gets their blood taken?

Well, I mean, once every blue moon, like once a year at least, minimum. Probably once a year, but I don't know. That also might not be a track mark. That could just be like a... No, I got my blood taken. No, it's permanent. That's the exact spot. I got my blood taken three days ago.

Why do you have two track marks? I think this is because somebody decided to pull blood over here. Somebody decided. Was it a doctor? It was a doctor, yes. Somebody decided to take... No, it was... I'm going to medical professionals to get my blood taken.

Okay? I get my blood taken. When you have to say that, you might have a problem. People say in America falsely that, like, we can't get socialized medicine because then people will abuse the system. You literally are the first person I've ever met

that would abuse that system. Well, no, but this is my thing. The system is so fucked up that I want care, and it's difficult sometimes to get them to give it to you. I go in... Okay, it's difficult for you because, them to give it to you. I go in so much. Okay, it's difficult for you because you go too much. I know, but I have been on the notes. I read the notes of my last doctor that I saw.

They allow you to read the notes? Well, no, they give you notes at the end of the appointment, and I read them. They wrote, please stop coming here. This doctor said, seek therapy at the bottom on the notes. Seek therapy. And did you do it? No.

That's the most grizzly thing you've done. Yeah. Yeah. So you're a hypochondriac. I'm a hypochondriac because I develop these things in my head that I have

and then I go get tested and then I don't have them. That's not grizzly. That's not, see? No. My uncle at one point. But not going to therapy

when somebody's urging you to go to therapy is the most manly thing that you can do. I don't need therapy. My uncle is so grizzled. He was chopping wood and he cut part of his pinky off. Oh my God.

And he just like wrapped it up and got gangrene. Oh. And they had to remove. The whole finger? Like this. Oh. That's grizzly. That's grizzly.

Getting gangrene. Getting gangrene. Getting gangrene? Getting gangrene? Like you're a fucking, getting gangrene like you're a 16th century peasant is the grizzliest thing you can do. That's grizzly. Like modern medicine is there specifically for that. It's like the one avenue that we've like done a good job.

I think there is still a group of women that like grizzly men. Yes. Yeah. Most of them watch hockey. Every hometown has many of those women. They're still there. The Lana Del Rey's in the world. Yeah. True. That's a good assessment.

The population of women is diminishing? Yes. Yes, I think the needle is moving towards Timothee Charlemagne. Yes. I think that the needle is moving towards timothy charlemagne yes yeah i think that the needle's always been there just they're being listened to more yeah no 70s the the vogue was like barrel chested furry but that's also like what was chosen to be put in that true you know like an advertisement yeah right so you think you think like a feminine men have always been the matter. Well,

whatever people's tastes are. So like, I, like, I feel like even for me, like I have a very specific look that will work really well for some people and not at all for others. Okay. And I feel like it's always kind of been,

I feel that it is. No, there's tons of people that aren't into hairy guys. That's true. Yeah. We literally went to Japan. He knows it. We went to Japan. There you is. No, there's tons of people that aren't into hairy guys. It's true. We literally went to Japan. He knows it. We went to Japan. I'm not into hairy guys.

There you go. We went to Japan and like... I think you're beautiful. Thank you. I can still be beautiful in your... No, you're gorgeous. Like, I love your mustache. What's going on?

Part of me wants to take it for a ride. But I don't because I don't know my thing. This is supposed to be a man episode. And you keep fucking cutting me off like I'm Cutie Cinderella. Grizzly. Sorry. God damn it.

That's not a point. No, the point was that we went to Japan and found out that they do not like hairy guys at all. That was a wonderful moment for you where famous former adult star. I like hair on men in specific places. Under the arms, perfectly fine. Love it. In fact, I prefer it. Right? Yeah.. Under the arms, perfectly fine. Love it.

In fact, I prefer it. Right? Yeah. You have an armpit fetish. I don't have an armpit fetish. What's up with gay guys and armpit fetishes? I think, I don't know what it is, but like underarms on men is just,

it makes me go so feral. I don't know why. I used to think armpits hair was disgusting. I used to be repulsed by it. But for some reason, as I've gotten older, it becomes like a thing. Vaccines? Maybe. Well, also when you were younger, it was like an older dude.

But now then you're matching ages. Oh, no, don't say that. How old do you think Austin is, Eddie? Don't you dare. No, Eddie, you know what? Let's skip this part. No, no, let's go ahead. No, Eddie, my day's been going really well. And I don't you dare no Eddie you know what let's skip this part no no no Eddie my day's been going really well and I don't think I need this Eddie how old do you

think Austin no I don't I don't just no I don't need it 19 years old thank you so close yeah Eddie I'm so close Eddie he's yeah yeah yeah yeah that's very nice of you to say that 22 plus 10 no I'm not 32 he's no he's 32 i am 32 yeah because i'm not embarrassed by my age well look some of us like some people are you know what you know what will is totally correct about this he told me this his wisdom actually hasan and will both told me this that like i need to stop giving a shit about that yeah and i you know i've stopped giving a shit about it yeah okay tell us your birthday right now. No, I don't advertise my birthday. I don't advertise my birthday.

Oh, how old are you right now? I'm 28 years old. It's true. He's laughing because he's insecure about his age. No, I'm not. I just told you how old I am. No, but what were we talking about before age? Well, I'll say with an age thing, do you remember?

I remembered like maybe a day and a half later, and I didn't even drink that much at Will's birthday, what I did the age thing to you. I forgot for like a day and a half. You and Connor were having a conversation like off to the left, and I just heard like a little bit him ask you your age, and all I did was lean in and go, damn. After you said it, I went right back to my conversation.

That's fucked up. A day later, I was like, oh, that was kind of me. I hope he knows I was joking. No, I was fucked up. I'm also 26 and I look like I'm 45. No, but it's a perception. I think as we get older. Yeah.

If I shaved, I'd look younger, but I also look worse. So I've got a bigger chin. No, no you don't I've got an age theory we perceive everybody else's age around us based on our own personal perception of ourselves so you you guys if you are what you think this is ridiculous I'm about to blow your mind okay what no no no i'm just mad that like my fucking government sponsored communist california nest thermostat automatically goes into eco mode even though i fucking take it off eco mode all the time deliberately because they want us to fucking die in the heat okay sick and tired of this commie bullshit fuck all right go ahead well anyway so if you are if you are of an older age you will perceive

folks your own age probably older because your perception of yourself is that you are younger we don't we don't perceive ourselves to be as old as we are yeah so typically people in your age range so you being 26 you will look at another 26 year old perhaps that looks 26 and think that they're probably 28 because you yourself don't perceive yourself to be 26. That's interesting because I really, I think I perceive the people my age as my age. No, I don't think that that's true. That might be a you thing. I disagree.

I've never met someone that was like my age where I perceived them to be older. I disagree with all your lived experiences. Everybody around you that's your age is older than you is what you're saying? Yes. No. Now this is starting to make sense to me just how people how people judge how people judge you know what forget i know i actually i love when you explain i i i get i get what he's saying i get what he's saying because a lot of the guys from my like college class look like dog shit

yeah they look like shit oh Oh, what they're, oh, I don't even, you're, I guess you're right about that. I wasn't even thinking about that though. I was thinking about people that play basketball with it like somehow,

sometimes they're my age. I'm just saying when people guess my age, well, if people ask how old I look, maybe they're, when they're, when they tend to be younger than I am,

they drag me closer to their age and if they're older, I get dragged up typically. That's just my personal lived experience but whatever. No that makes sense. I thought you meant

just all the time you're thinking of people or I'll drop it too. Look I have no problem with my age. I'm very proud of it. Yeah so what's your birthday? November 24th

1998. That would make you two years and four days younger than me. No no. Sorry I messed up. 94. 94. 94.

It's so funny because you're still lying about your age. No, I'm not. But, well, I know what your birthday is, Austin. But it's funny because this is now on the record. So, what, next year or two years down the line, you're still going to be an age that you don't want to be at. No, I'm fine with my age. Oh, okay.

I'm fine with it. Which is 24. No, I'm not 24. I'm 28. I would never want to be 28. Just misspoke. If I showed you a picture of me at 24, you'd be like, it's better now.

Let's move on to something else. Move on to something else. You do have much better style now. Yeah, much better style, yeah much better style much more muscle you look good everything's better you look great I'm happy with how I look

you look great I'm confident I love that I post in thirst traps people get sexy where did you post that photo from on Instagram

how'd you get that photo today did people just send you shirtless pictures of me wait you weren't talking about the photo that I released today what are you talking about I'm sorry released

just the photo you posted on Instagram did you post it yeah I'm sorry, released? You posted on Instagram? Did you post it? Yeah, I posted a story today. It was a story and you said released? Where did that go? It's like a press briefing. I saw your story and I said, where are you?

You responded to it? Yes. I couldn't see. I didn't see that message. Grief it. You're on another level right now. I just didn't see the just like you post no because he posed like the sherlock's photo and his eyes automatically filter anyone that he's like

anyone that's not a fucking twink like a nubile twink you know what a twink is yeah okay have you been to gay bars uh i have not but also i've been meaning to with chrissy and some friends as well you should you should you need to field test that mustache. Well, the thing is, also, the reason I've been apprehensive to it is I know my look would do well. And I also don't want to be. You don't want to give them hope. That's the thing. Yeah, they're going to be like, oh, my God, you're so hot. You stud.

Yeah, like I wear my ring right here and I've been tapped before asking if I was married. You know, the whole thing. And and I don't it feels extra straight to be like oh no my girlfriend you know what I mean like it feels weird. You don't need to tell people that just I mean not don't like queer babe but just just live and exist. Yeah but also she'd be like right next to me. It feels the first time you go to a gay bar it feels awesome.

I'll let you know I'll have you know you go there you you're like, Oh my God, I'm the bell of the fucking ball, baby. What the fuck? Specifically to then that used to be my strap.

Yeah. When you, when you, I'd hit after what? Gains in West Hollywood. You know what I mean? After a while though, it just,

yeah. Then you learn to hate gay people. It gets a little harassing. And then you're like, no, you never have to look for a spot in a gay gym. Right. And gets a little harassing. The other thing I would say is this. You never have to look for a spot in a gay gym. In a straight gym,

you ask a guy for a spot, he's like, I'm not going to gyms, so this also isn't a problem. He just walks. I walk. But in gay bar gyms, what happens? Gay bar gyms. Gay gyms, they're ready. Gay gyms. Gay bar gyms. Gay bar gyms. No, gay gyms. They're ready.

Oh, yeah. They're ready. Gay gyms are way gayer than the bars, to be fair. Gay gyms? Wait, is there like a dedicated gay gym in West Hollywood? Equinox West Hollywood. Well, the one he used to go to was the gayest one. Was the gay. But Equinox West Hollywood is also very gay.

It was very. It was awesome. They literally have a sign in the sauna that says do not fuck in the like an official placard dude like not even like they printed it out like an actual metal placard that has rules explicitly stating you can't fuck in the sauna go ahead just do you want to do that yes i really i had a drink you're who the sign is i had a drink i really want to have sex in a sauna just sweaty

but like shower before because it's kind of gross if you're like sweating all throughout the day but like just exclusively sweating in that moment from shower to sauna yes

have really great sex in a sauna is that a gay thing or is that just like a no that's just that's just but also I feel like it could be cool

yeah okay I feel like breathing in that I just feel like it would be cool for like a moment and then like a sauna I'm not trying to do like breathing in that i just feel like is it would be cool for like a moment and then there's like a sauna i'm not trying to do like activities in you know that's where i'm like laid out you think you're a little neurotic aren't you i i think normally i my brain

jumps to what i won't enjoy sometimes but also i think that has helped me make jokes better so sometimes that okay helps me okay bit of a Larry David brain sometimes. I like that. I like what you said. I vibe with that. Overrated, having sex in a hot tub or a pool. No, I agree with you. I think having sex in a body of water is not great.

Yeah, it's not good. Pool, I disagree with, fully. Really? Fully. Tell us why. I've fucked in a pool and it was fantastic. But you can't feel as much underwater. It's not about the feeling.

It's about the event. Like we're fucking in the pool. I've done it. For people that can't see under the table, when Austin said can't feel as much, you went like this, where his dick was. Did I really? I just saw you go, you can't feel as much. That was involuntary.

It was peripheral. It was so noticeable. It's the boys episode, baby. You just can't feel as much. Boys episode. Sex in the pool is kind of magical. You would know. Sex in the pool is kind of magical.

Yeah, okay. Late night, only lights of the pool. Yeah. Everything's underlit. Everybody looks great when they're underlit. How about fucking on the side of the pool? No. Awful.

Terrible. I grew up with an above ground pool, so that image is not a sexy one. The side of an above-ground pool. That's white trash bingo right there. Oh, my God. An above-ground pool. Wait, where did you grow up?

Star Wars of Chicago. Okay. You could break an above-ground pool if you fuck in it right. That's true. And then you just both flow around and along. It wasn't like one of the blow-up ones, but it was still, you know. Yeah, no, that's still not fancy.

Actually, the fact that it's not a blow-up one makes it less fancy, I think. Also, there is no cooler feeling than aqua. Than having an above-ground pool. Yeah, than aquamanning. Okay. Eating pussy underwater? Come on. Chlorine.

Wait, hold on. Neurotic. Neurotic. That's. No, I'm going to say. Chlorine. Hold on. Neurotic. Neurotic. That's. No, I'm going to say. Horrid. I have eaten pussy on the side of a pool where I like have picked her up. And then eaten her pussy on the fucking side.

That's how you do it. I don't. I don't like. Shut up gay man. I don't like the in under the water situation. That's the coolest. Because in your mind you're're like, oh, dude, I'm going to show her

how long I can hold my breath for. Because that's like primal. That's like a 12-year-old boy's brain. That goes way back. And then you're also using like the bubbles to percolate and stimulate. God damn.

You've really thought through this. I've eaten a lot of pussy underwater. But I feel like you would feel like I'm being waterboarded. What fucking situations are you in? Pretty much any time I'm in water, man. Is there a pool? Wait, where are these pools?

I'm talking about 34 years of life experience. What is it? You're like Houdini? You have to make her come before you... Yes. Are these in public? Without taking a breath? Yeah, without taking a breath.

That's hype, dude. That's awesome. When she's a little alarmed, you might fucking die. It gets her red hot, dude. That could backfire, though. Stress levels high. I was going to say, that could backfire. Yeah, you could die.med, you might fucking die. It's a red hot, dude. That could backfire, though. Stress levels high. I was going to say, that could backfire. Yeah, you could die.

Yeah, you could die. It could backfire in the sense that you die. Talk about a hype way to go. Yeah, eating pussy underwater. Michael Douglas. That's crazy. What a crazy funeral. Put that on my headstone.

How are you even sad at that funeral? You're not. You're high-fiving. Everybody's shoulder is exhausted. Yeah, absolutely. I will die. Dude, how do you think? Fucking. everybody's shoulder is exhausted yeah absolutely I will die dude how do you think fucking I mean

I did not think that like the cutie list boys only episode was gonna get there I'm surprised that I'm the inspiration

for this I'll be honest gentlemen after that I kinda wanna eat some pussy yeah come on things are changing

what's some rowdy ass shit you do come on let's get into it I'm not a person that would talk you ever just do

cocaine and fight someone and then fuck them no i've never done cocaine yeah you ever just go to a gay beat up club yeah beat him up club that's awesome that's a real thing he's not even joking wait what yeah beat the shit out of each other and they fuck man that's awesome if i was gay that'd be day one for me there's no just fight club there's no twinks it's fight club but the loser's the bottle there's no, just fight club. There's no, it's fight club, but the losers, the bottle,

there's no twinks. There's no twinks. No, but it's not. What he's talking about is not like, like upscale shit. It's like, if you're,

if you're living in like Duluth, I didn't think that was going to be upscale shit. Yeah, no, it's like, it's like trucker. It's like trucker bar style shit. Like you're living in fucking Duluth.

And, and that's like the only gay bar. So is it like, is it known? Like what if you walked in there and you're just trying to get a drink and you can just get your ass? and, and that's like the only gay bar. So is it like, is it known? Like what if you walked in there and you're just trying to get a drink and you can just get your ass? Well, not everyone fights,

man. Well, does everybody fight? Like an organized event, like a wrestling fantasy of like two men. Like we're going to pit against each other and then we're going to get in each other. Yes.

I didn't like that. Can we, you guys, boys, do you guys want to go to a gay fuck fight club? Only if you fight and fuck. I'm going to fight and fuck. I'm going to fight and fuck.

I would be. Dude, if you go to a gay fucking fight club, I'll be there with pom poms. Would you be rooting you on? Okay, to be fair. You might get made a bottom. No, the problem is he would want to fight like the tiniest twink. He would kill him. A hundred pound dude.

You're like, you. Yeah, no, I think I would. He comes out. He's like, oh, no, not Martinez. And he's just so fucking good. He just knows Kung Fu. He beats the shit out of Austin. He's like, you're the one bottoming now, bitch.

You're the damn cow. Oh, man. Dude, I'm learning so much this podcast. And that's how Austin bought him for the first time. Yeah, I'm not bottoming. What's some manly shit you want to do, Eddie? You asked me that, but then I wanted to. I know, you didn't give me an answer.

You said you go for walks, motherfucker. Help me. Yeah, I don't know, man. Come on. You want to kill something? Yeah. I would like to... I always want a cabin,

and I want to be able to chop wood and make a fire. Yeah! Let's do this. Do you have an axe? I have a fake one, unfortunately. Shit! I have multiple katanas. It sounds like good exercise, too, like in a fun way.

Have you ever chopped wood before? It sounds like a nice, peaceful thing. I've done it when I was younger, when I went camping a lot, but never as a grown man. I'm getting you an axe. That would be great. Do you know I have an axe in my apartment? No, I didn't know that. I have an axe in my apartment? No, I didn't know that. I have an axe in my apartment too,

but it's not like a legit one. He has multiple. I have so many crazy weird weapons in my place. It's so crazy because I feel like you will defend yourself, but you'll kill them

in the most sadistic way possible. Absolutely. Like you will strip them and skin them alive. Yes. For Christmas, like two years ago, Chrissy got me not like a replica God of War axe like that,

but one that somebody made on Etsy where it's like a regular axe that's designed like that. Oh, that's sick. And my thought was, now it's my self-defense thing because if anybody saw a guy in the dark with an axe, like... Especially you. You look kind of like...

Yeah, you look like the part. I do something crazy with it. But it's... I feel like the thought of somebody wielding an axe against you is way scarier than even a gun. Because you're like, this is just going to fuck me up in a really weird way. Have you chopped anything with that axe? No, I live in an apartment. Wait, but so what?

You haven't chopped in an apartment? When I got a katana, first thing I did was chop a fucking banana tree. First thing I did. I can't, especially like, I don't know, my area. There's just like not, there's not a spot for me where there's not a bunch of people. Just like throw a fruit and then like try to chop it. Actually, it's very dangerous. You got to watch your feet.

I just start chopping something. You know what would be a great self-defense way? Okay, no. Actually, I feel like that's the quickest way to get arrested. It's like there's an axe murder on the looms at the park. I'd be on one of the neighborhood apps immediately. Yeah. Man-wielding axe.

Scary man with big mustache. I have a 25-pound mace. Sometimes I walk to the dog park with it. Oh, just to hold it? Just hold it. And nobody gives you a look? No, because I have a very tiny dog. Because this dog is really...

It balances it out. Ah, okay. It looks like you're trying to protect the dog. The mace is the size of the dog at that point. I was going to say self-defense weapon would be like a chainsaw. Could you imagine breaking somebody's chainsaw? I've always wanted to own a chainsaw. They break too much, and it's hard to start it.

Have you ever used a chainsaw? No. I've never felt so alive. It sounds good. It sounds fun just to break, you know, break shit. I don't, that's, see, that's a very manly thing. It's just, I love cutting stuff and breaking stuff. It's very fun.

I feel like we're reclaiming our testosterone right now, boys. Yeah. Finally, now the cutie's gone. Jesus Christ. This is what people are looking for. It's really funny because from after the Tana episode, like all of the girlies that are coming back are going to be like, this is the most disgusting thing.

This is like, we have become theies that are coming back are going to be like, this is the most disgusting thing. We have become the meme that I always make fun of, the straight guys doing a podcast. Is pussy in the pool overrated? Yeah. Okay, let's balance it out. Would you suck dick in a pool? Would I? Just like, what's the scenario? I mean, it's not my preference.

Is there a gun to my head? What's happening? Maybe this wasn't the audience for that. Maybe this wasn't the, this was the manly podcast, which I thought, what's more manly than sucking a dick in a pool? I mean, if you're gay, yeah. Yeah. All right.

Sorry, gentlemen. No, it works like if you talked about it too, but you posed the question to us. I was just trying to balance it out. You said it like a threat. It was. But it was like, I'm assuming. Okay, fine. Gun to your head. Would you do it? Yeah. Okay. I'm going to die. I was just trying to balance it out. You said it like a threat. It was. But it was like unassuming. Gun to your head. Would you do it?

Yeah. Okay. I'm going to die if I don't. Yeah. I would like to not die. I'd suck the shit out of that. But I wouldn't do a good job. Okay, but.

Gun to my head. I'm doing a bad job. Because you're so upset that there's a gun to your head. I take pride in it. Look. You wouldn't. If I have to do it.

You can sloppy toppy. Well, it's quicker that way. This really is that meme that you're talking about. You're going to be sucking dick for an hour. It's fine. I'm going to do it. I'm going to rake it with my teeth. I'm goingiding it. Look, you wouldn't. I have to do sloppy toppy. Well, it's quicker. This really is that you're talking about. I'm sucking dick for. It's fine. I'm going to do it. I'm a rake it with my teeth. I'm really like, oh,

don't matter. Be on that dick for an hour. Doesn't matter. I'm going to be out in five minutes because I'm just gonna be. No, I feel like you do really good. I think I think I'm in the war of attrition. This is the most like just four dudes hanging out.

Like what would force you to suck a dick is, like, the oldest fucking sleepover conversation I've ever heard. I told you. I've told this. I've said this before. But my first journey, my part of my journey of coming out was I would, you know, everybody would be like, would you suck a dick for X amount of dollars? My first, like, testing the waters is I reduced the price at which I would do it. Reduce the price between somebody asking you or while you were answering? No, just like slow.

No, no. Like, like over time they would ask me like, oh, would you suck a dick for a minute? First I'm like, oh yeah, $10,000. And then it like slowly got down to like a hundred. A buck fifty. Yeah, like fifty. I was like, and then it got down to like, you know, I'd try it. A please, a please would, you know what I mean? I down to like, you know, I'd try it. A please.

A please would be. You know what I mean? I probably wouldn't enjoy it, but I'd try it. I wouldn't charge him. You know what I mean? So slowly but surely I got down. Give certificate to Starbucks, bro. Yeah.

Yeah. So that was my first like sort of getting my toes in. Now he's trying to bring it back up and it's like not working. Yeah. Yeah. A couple of weeks back when we tried to make money. I am becoming more selfish. A little bit.

Oh, really? Yeah. Because I've noticed that like, oh, you know what? I shouldn't say money. I am becoming more selfish a little bit. Oh, really? Yeah, because I've noticed that like, oh, you know what? I shouldn't say this. Say it. All right, fuck it. I just don't think that like,

look, I will. You're going to say bottoms don't want you to be. No, this is a paywall thing. This is a paywall thing. Oh, all right. Behind the paywall. Well, behind the paywall.

Actually, what a perfect time for you to say that because we are at an hour. Oh, wow. Perfect. Right. Great. Everybody, our guest has been

Eddie Burback before we go to the paywall please check out his content he's one of my favorite YouTubers and he makes incredible stuff thanks for joining us today I think you remember me

that was a really fast hour I actually didn't I was surprised when you said that that's what happens when you talk about manly shit hell yeah

Eddie's the funniest person to have like the manly episode. We're going to, behind the paywall, we're going to go drink beer and eat pussy. That's right. Eddie's going to split his first piece of wood. Underwater, baby. Let's go.

See you there. Patreon.com slash fear and. Fear and, brother. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's so good. Look at his little boots. These fucking idiots.

Okay, the paywall portion is better than the right one. The fucking idiots thought that, like, oh, it was fine in the Netherlands. It's fine in Canada. And then they came to Philadelphia and they beat the fuck out of him in quarters. They were throwing car batteries at it. Look at that fucking, look at that robot's fucking shoes. That's a queer robot beating to death. Oh, dude.

It's got little children's boots on. It's like a child. I think there's a video of them beating it to death.